day five...if i had a million dollars...

100 ideas by keri smith::number three:
Buy something inexpensive as a symbol for your need to create,
(new pen, a tea cup, journal). Use it everyday.

last night, we finished supper
{homemade beef stew done in slow cooker...
another first for me...and biscuits that
were a little hard and flat...i'm not sure
what i did wrong with those...but there
were none left over so i guess they tasted
fine}
and i went to the store to look for something
that i could use...
would use
every day....
i waited for something to speak to me...
to jump out at me...
and it took awhile....
eventually, i picked up a pack of pens
pens i used to use
and remember liking how they would
glide
across the page...


and as i was leaving that aisle,
pens in hand
i passed the crayola aisle...
and suddenly remembered number 71
on my mondo beyondo grande list...
so i grabbed a box of 64 colors
and felt instantly happy and excited...

now i just have to find a coloring book
that makes me happy...
i'm thinking charlie brown...
or sesame street...
something old and quirky and fun...

{and...just so you know...
today the backhoe comes to break ground
for the concrete for our new building...for my
studio...squeal!!!!!!}

etsy

well...

i have finally done it.

i have opened an etsy shop...

it took me a long time
and lots of procrastinating
and a little fear
mixed in with excitement
and a dash of confusion
but i have done it!!

and added one item!!

stop by and let me know what you think...
i'll keep some cold coke on hand
and i'll even let you use the "good" glasses...
:O)

yay me!
:O)

my space...

this is where i spend parts of my day...
by the window
listening to the kids playing outside
with great lake swimmers playing in the background...

sometimes a paintbrush in hand...
sometimes a pen...
sometimes just a handful of crayons.



a space for me...
a corner, a nook...
one of my favorite places to be....
i wish you could join me...
{there is room for another stool.}

because i'm feeling list-y...

things that i am working on
{or thinking of working on}:

1. knitting the pink blanket
(no planned recipient as of yet)

2. working through the artists way (again)
along with this hardcore rollerderby cutie
(and so far, i have only started morning pages)


3. making a nativity set as a gift for a close
friend (planning stages)

4. trying to win a trip to cuba on our
local radio station

5. weight loss (down 2 more pounds last week)

6. getting photoshop installed on my computer
(which has to be formatted first)

7. birthday gift for my bff...homemade...
(not started yet)
8. taking pictures...current obsessions include:
cemetarys, fall, practicing on 13 and 9,
and the transformation of our house
(which is being painted as we speak)

and now i pronounce you...

{click photo to see larger}

a wedding card.

spinning....

windmills...even better up close.
wish i had a better lens.

i feel like my mind is spinning in all sorts of directions today.
i am full of energy
and ideas and thoughts...
i feel a surge of creative energy and am happy for it...
i have been knitting again,
painting wooden blocks to make vegetable signs for the garden,
planning on making birdhouses,
painting a birdhouse that has been here since we moved in...
i'm excited and happy and having fun...
bring on summer!

poemless post on the last day of post-a-poem

you will have to
forgive
this poem-less
post
on the last day
of post-a-poem-a-day month
as
my twelve
gets on a bus
for a four hour bus ride
away
from
me
for the first time...

my heart broke
as eight sat in the back seat
of the car with twelve
last night
and told her
that "she might feel some anxiety
when it was time to go,
that her stomach might hurt
but that it was ok,
she would just be worried about going away."

my heart breaks now
as i whisper to myself
that its ok for my stomach to hurt like this,
i'm just anxious, i'm just worried...
as my i whisper to myself
she's a big now{i'm a big girl}
she can handle this{i can handle this}
and i count down the seconds
til friday at five.

post-a-poem, april fifteen

sunday morning sunshine
cereal and green grass
blue bike on the front lawn
i sit and wait for you

i bide my time
i count the seconds
i wait for your return

laundry on the floor
dishes to do
newspaper calling
but all i want is you.

i wait alone
in a room full
of people.

post-a-poem, april thirteen

i think i need to
delve deeper to find you
my blue eyed girl
my urchin
my song...
as your years go up
my pedestal goes down
and i need to work harder
to make it strong

(i am your mother
you are my daughter...)

i don't want to lose you
in the waves of the day
i don't want to have been too busy to hear you
as the crush carries you further away
instead i will slow myself to listen
i will still myself, i will hear,
and i will stay.

no poem today...

instead
an impromptu
visit to the emergency room
with concussions
and ice packs
and promises of popsicles
coupled with fear
and fake bravado
when the triage nurse
bumps you up in place
so that you are in next...
{up until that point you had rested assured
that your fears would be
found
unfounded}
and therefore, you became
ungrounded
but remained with both feet on the floor
for him.

post-a-poem, april twelve

snippets of conversation
she said...
gather and garner
steal and borrow
beg and broker
and bend to your will.

heat with the fire
of your searing sense
of story
a forge of words,
a fire still.

take the words
and
make them your own.

post-a-poem, april eleven (on the 13th)

windswept into the tide
she wished she hadn't bothered
she wished she hadn't tried

she knew that it could happen
that he could sail away
from her
she wished the tide remained static
that things remained as they were

but they erode and they age and they change
until only the fingerprints
left on her heart
remain

i have fallen behind with posting
the poems after a sort of sucky weekend...
i don't think i will try to catch up...
i will just keep labelling them for what
number i'm at.

post-a-poem, april ten {trying something new}

today has been a relatively silent day but oh such a
good one really, nobody here but me and my notebook,
my camera and some diet coke (although really it would
be better if i had chips, too) oh, and the computer. all
day just daydreaming and doodling and planning
and sketching and scheming and quiet. i have not even
put the radio on. i'm just...quiet. not the silent anger or
sadness that comprised saturday- just quiet.

i savor this silence but inside i wait for you to return and pull me out of myself.

i am not sure about this one,
i wanted it to be prose-like
but i have such an issue with
where i break the lines...
this goes against my grain
to write across the page.
and even then, the margins
affected how it looked in the end.
nothing ventured, nothing gained.

post-a-poem, april nine

prom was a winter storm
and a purple dress
worn for the second time
held together with resentment
sewn with sad regret
{he was awkward
and she felt mean}

purple lace and shiny pink glitter gloss
tasted like watermelon and strawberry
{he was second choice
and knew he was not who she
wanted him to be}
{he was awkward
and she
was mean}

prom was a purple storm
in a winter dress.

prompt provided by liz

post-a-poem, april eight

i am clunky boots
and loose fitting shifts
summer free
and lightweight
at first glance.
i am resentful underneath
i am circumstance.
i am willing when i want to be
withdrawn
dark and heavy...
{beneath
the bright exterior
i lay
in wait}
i am an implosion set to detonate
i am many
yet
i am few.
i am a lie
embedded
in what is true.

prompt suggested by liz

post-a-poem, april seven {aunts}

it is her voice
that i remember most,
her voice that signifies
her
to me.

when i try to think of how
she looks now
or even how she looked then,
it is her voice
that i see in my mind.

smoky and craggy
with just a bit of my mother's inflection
but more of a warble,
a rolling, a call.

i was her favored one,
the favorite niece of a crazy aunt
who claimed ESP
and knew you were coming
before your call.

the prompt was aunts at readwritepoem
on a sidenote: my blog turns THREE today...
what started off as a place to vent about not
being able to get a mortgage has turned into
a major part of my life...has given me a place
to be creative, has allowed me to "meet"
others that like the same things i do, and has
led me to new friends...

and for the first time since i have started blogging,
i plan on doing a giveaway...a surprise....
a name will be picked randomly from the
comments.

would it be wrong to make my blog a cake?

tally up saturday...week five...

well...technically...this is sunday...
but whatever....

what have i been doing to be creative everyday
this week?

doodling, writing, knitting, making cd's for my i'm-so-late
cd swap, and gathering more ideas for knitting...

i made this for my new niece's bedroom,
i was pretty happy with it and may make more...
i would like to learn to cut my own letters though.
{i used letters bought from Micheal's}

so many other ideas swirling around....
involving gardening and mushrooms,
paint and glue and fimo and some smurfs...
a couple of robots...a birthday cake....

but right now, i see green grass outside my window
and that makes me want to
go sit on my front step
and welcome spring....

oh...and have also signed up at readwritepoem
for napowrimo...which means that i have
committed to writing a poem every day
for the month of april...
check it out!

tally up saturday....the easter version....

hope your easter is full of hoppiness.

a late tally up...{week4}{life list con't}

i did not tally up on saturday
because i had
a really bad day.

and so,
i give you
the life list
part two...

• photograph all the churches and graveyards where i live
• take more time to drive and take pictures and write
• bake bread from scratch
• move to the country
• own a hammock
• learn to use photoshop
• go back to school
• be more honest with my friends, be more of "me" around them
• let at least one "real" person know about my blog
• write some "real" letters
• learn more about computers
• build a tree house
• make a deal with C and M {childhood best friends} to plan to do one thing a month together, each person can take turns deciding what it is...

and because i'm in a list-y kind of mood....
here are my 5 really good things on a wednesday...

1. the feeling that bills are finally caught up and the possibility of consolidation loan will really ease our minds....
2. hearing 8 belting out the words sweet little woman as 12 accompanies him on guitar...{rock band is still a major hit}
3. reading the constant princess....i can't put it down, actually, i'm almost done and ready to buy the next one...
4. sun...sun...sun...
5. the ease and comfortable pace of march break...no lunches, no early morning band practice, no homework!
6. BONUS...LEONARD COHEN IS COMING TO MY TOWN....AND I AM GOING!!!!!
   

go see liz...really...go see her...

creative check-in {tally-up three} {and the life list}

i feel like creatively this week
i had a hard time...
with spring in the air, i'm trying hard
to tone up and slim down
and that has been my focus for this week.

i have gotten some new things started,
just nothing finished.

but a new list...
the beginning of my
"life list"
{with more to be added..it is my "life" list, after all}

• go to italy
• skydive
• see the skydiggers
• grow sunflowers
• make my own salsa
• reread all of margaret atwood's books
• write a story
• try to publish something someday somewhere
• take a sewing class
• declutter my house
• put our photos into scrapbooks
• get photos off the computer so they can be put into scrapbooks
• teach the kids to play scrabble
• have a lilac tree {with flowers i can reach}
• go to disney world
• drink more water, eat better, exercise more CONSISTENTLY
• find a job that i love ALL the time
• plant strawberries
• make a quilt
• go rock climbing
• ride a real rollercoaster

to be continued....