Soon...

"Yiiii!"

Look Mr. Checkered Suit-Wearing Gangster, I'm sure seeing trophies grow in size and come to life and attack you is a pretty trippy, freaked out,perhaps even horrifying sight, even for a hardened Gotham criminal who's seen it all like yourself. But good God man, try to have a little dignity! I mean, "Yiiii?" What kind of gangster says "Yiiii?" Couldn't you have gone with a more manly "Arrghh!" or even a less high-pitched "Aiieee?"

And way to call retreat the second you see a living golf trophy knock your gun out of your hand. It's, like, six inches high and it's already used up all it's ammunition—you could probably take it in a fight. But no, you have to panic and tell your boys to scram the second things get crazy, and what happens? You all run straight into other growing, living trophies.

And that's why you're sitting in jail, and all of the gold at the Gotham Trophy Shop remains un-robbed. Coward.

Robin, Agalmatophiliac

When Batman and Batwoman go out of town, leaving their teenage sidekicks alone and unsupervised, Bat-Girl immediately throws herself at Robin.

Despite the fact that he's a red-blooded teenage boy, and the fact that young Betty Kane is a pretty teenage girl, Robin rebuffs her.


Another woman, Robin? Who could it possibly be? You and Bat-Girl have so much in common! You both fight crime in Gotham City in masks, red and green costumes and bare legs, alongside grown-ups dressed like giant bats. Is there really another girl out there more perfect for you than Bat-Girl? Who?


A statue, Robin? Really?



(Above panels from the story "Bat-Mite Meets Bat-Girl" in 1961's Batman #144, by Bill Finger, Sheldon Moldoff and Charles Paris)

I know Batman and Robin aren't gay, but...

Okay, so I know Batman and Robin aren't really gay, but man, Batman really doesn't seem to be into that kiss as much as Batwoman is, does he?

Likewise, Robin doesn't seem to be enjoying his kiss with Bat-Girl as much as she is:



These panels are all from my current favorite Batman story, by the way, "Prisoners of Three Worlds," from 1963's Batman #153.

It's by Bill Finger, Sheldon Moldoff and Charles Paris, and it tells the tale of our quartet of caped crusaders taking on what look like rather deformed Skrulls (check it out: green skin, pointy ears, wrinkly chins; they're totally Skrulls!) from a different dimension who are after Gotham City's silver supply.

What's so great about this comic, other than the looks on the dynamic duos' faces when their female counterparts shove their tongues down their throats?

Well, in addition to fighting these guys...



they also tangle with these guys...




and this thing...



...which you'll notice is some kind of flying winged monster fish that has palm trees growing out of its forehead. Moldoff was on fire when he was penciling this baby!