Practicing Grace

We were recently at a park with the girls and Mike and I noticed a set of parents pushing a double stroller and a single – I smiled at them thinking to myself what a full life they have right now. The mom stopped me on our way out to the car and asked what the age difference in our kids was, she thought they might all be 2 years apart, like hers, and she was so honest with me (a perfect stranger)– asking, when does this get easier?!  It turns out her kiddos were 3.5, 2 and 1 month old – and I told her, just as honestly, that it won’t feel easier for a while but then one day she’ll realize that it just IS easier than it was the day before. I encouraged her to keep doing everything she was already doing and when there was a moment of quiet in the chaos to hang on to it and remember it when that chaos ramped back up because she was doing a great job.

This season of life, it is so difficult to navigate some days (and by some, I mean a lot) and can feel so lonely. I am a little bummed that we were at an out of town park or I totally would have asked her to meet me for coffee or back at the park but I hope that quick conversation helped to keep her going the next time she was feeling the heat of taking care of three little ones.

That encounter has been on my mind for the last week or so, mostly because despite being surrounded by a truly wonderful, supportive village - there are a lot of times that I still feel very alone and isolated.  As hard as I try to make sure everyone (& that includes me) is respectful, following the rules, being kind and helpful there are just (so many) moments where that doesn’t happen & I find myself feeling so defeated and thinking “why can’t we all just get along.” Moments of the day where these three blue-eyed beauties are truly running right over me – and then doing it all over again.

I’ve found myself lately really beating myself up for the moments that don’t go well and that just isn’t fair at all - I need to remember the advise that I gave that mom at the park – to find a memory of peace and joy to hang on to as I pull everyone through a tantrum & then pat myself on the back (really quickly) for a job well done when the chaos subsides.

It can be hard though, we dwell on the things that don’t go as we hoped way too much instead of the things that went perfectly. In the middle of one of those especially chaotic moments between the hours of 4:30 & 8 I heard the lyrics “it won’t be like this for long” and just cried a little – because it won’t. It won’t be this type of toddler/preschool/early elementary school chaos for long – it will be replaced by something else, I am certain, but someday the chaos won’t be followed-up by dance parties and sweet toddler snuggles.

For now, I need to remember to practice grace (for me and in my parenting), to remember it’s okay to lean in on my village when I need it and that it really won’t be like this for long – these moment’s don’t last forever and whatever frustration is happening will be gone soon.

So, I’m reminding you too – give yourself grace, you are doing the best job & if today didn’t go the way you wanted, tomorrow is a new day. We’re in this together – raising up awesome little humans and also raising ourselves (& our spouses & friends) up as we continue to grow in life.

And if everyone could be as happy as Aleesia is when she gets her face painted like a cat, the world would be a much smilier place!

Wordless Wednesday

super quick preview of our beach time last month:

day 1

day 2

day 3

day 4

day 5

day 6

day 7

Road Tripping & Beach Bound

In just a month we are heading to the Outer Banks to spend some beach time with our friends.  And I am irrationally excited about this.  We have taken some awesome trips the past few years, but I have missed the sand in my toes for sure.

We took Gianna to Myrtle Beach when she was 18 months old and it was a gloriously relaxing vacation.

She is so pumped about this trip because two of her best friends will be there – I know they are all going to have a KILLER time.

I have never taken a wee baby to the beach though and the idea of lugging my littlest most-particular-princess to the beach is a little daunting to be quite honest.  I have a beach tent to keep her out of the sun.  And protective swim suits and a hat for her.  I thought she might be sitting up on her own by the time we left, and maybe she will be, but right now she isn’t.  Needless to say I am a little unsure of what all to bring with me to entertain her, keep her cool and protected from the sun.

So far my plan is to bring her beach tent and pretty much keep her in there with a few toys.  we will have a large beach towel so she can lay down and eat sand play if she wants.  Perhaps the bumbo seat would be a good option for her too.  Someone on FB mentioned bringing a little baby bathtub for her – which, possibly, but that might be a bit much to lug to/from the beach house. Sunscreen, obviously, we have under control. 

What other tips might you have for enjoying a trip to the beach with a baby who may (or may not) be quite particular about life?!

We are renting a house down there and planning on buying the majority of our food when we get there – but aside from cleaning products & personal stuff– what are things we should bring with us?

And for the to and from portion of our beach vacation we will be road tripping.  Aleesia will be fine in the car, and honestly I think Gianna will be too.  Luckily both girls generally sleep anytime they are buckled into their seats!  I want to put together a few things to entertain Gianna – she has been really into coloring lately so we will pack a lot of crafty/coloring stuff.  And her v.reader and the eyepad, naturally.  I found a few ideas on pinterest but it’s questionable whether or not I find the time to do any of them.  Has anyone tried anything awesome that would go over well with a FOURyearsold?  I have an old ipod nano that maybe I will have Mike load some tunes on for her… road trip playlist, FTW!

Typically, if we are driving somewhere, we just drive straight there and only stop to eat and use the bathroom.  We decided this time that we would stop on the way there and home (when we passed the halfway point) and maybe find some cool things to see along the way, since we are going to need to stop to eat and use the bathroom ANYWAY. I believe the world’s largest hammock is on our list… we are notoriously NOT GOOD at road tripping, in general, so I’m hoping this helps to make the trip portion of this vacation more enjoyable.

Any other beach-going  (or Outer Banks specific) tips/advice you want to throw my way, I’m all ears.

One Third {of the first year}

I have been desperately trying to figure out how to slow down time for the last four years, and that has never felt more true than the past four months.

Apparently when you add another child to the equation of life, it picks up at close to warp speed. I can’t always keep up with everything I NEED to do, let alone all of the things I WANT to do! But remember the small things is important to me, so here we go.

It has been a crazy four month. Let’s recap Aleesia’s first four months of life, shall we?

She was born after an amazing 19 hour labor/delivery. Giving birth to her without medical intervention was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced.

We hid out at the hospital for 25 hours and came home so she could meet her big sister.

We have been figuring each other out for the past few months.  We have had a busy four months, but I managed to steal some time with just her every once in a while.  We worked hard at breastfeeding at first, and are still working hard to make it work for us.  I’m back to work.  She stays home with daddy and Gianna.  Aleesia has been a bit of a challenge and Mike and I make screamy tiny people – no big deal, really – but it can be exhausting for all of us.

In general, the past four months have been a whirlwind!

We enjoyed lots of snuggling.  With mommy and sister.  Aleesia is a snuggle bug.

There were many meetings of other tiny people – mainly her cousin and new friends.

She endured plenty of goofy photo shoots with mommy.

We all experienced too many hours of crying (an intolerance to milk/soy, breastfeeding problems and a terrible infection were just a few of the culprits. and general newborn crankiness).  And despite the pictures of Aleesia sleeping, there isn’t always a lot of that going on! I just try to capture it when it DOES happen.

We had just a few very special parties to attend.

And even her first holiday - Easter!

We can’t forget to mention that she has been through a few of the most bizarre (at least to me) health issues in her short little life. (MSPI, GI Reflux, ULT, PTT, VUR, that’s enough right?)  And a little hospital stay. (thankfully everything is mostly okay now).

Aleesia figured out her lovie (lovies, if you count her wubanub!)

She has decided outside is fun! (which is a good thing considering her sister never wants to come inside!)

Despite all of the things that have gone against her in her first four months – she learned to hold her head up! and, we get a lot of smiles these days.  And if we are lucky, a giggle!

One thing is without question, somebody here has a big sister who ADORES her and worries about her all the time.  It might have only been four months, but the bond that they have is so special already.  It might be one of the most fun parts of the past few months – watching these two learn each other.

Aleesia in a nutshell is our petite, sensitive, snuggler who doesn’t always feel the best but tries not to let it show. (except, when she does let you know she feels bad – there is no question!)

I wouldn’t know what to do without this girl.  I barely remember what life was like before she came.