Shambhala training, level 1: The art of being human

Last weekend I went to the first training weekend out of five on the path of Shambhala buddism: The art of being human. I don't know if that is the original English title, but that is what I call it for now. I wanted to know more about the origins of the underlying philosophy of Miksang contemplative photography and its roots in Shambhala buddism. 

About 40 people enlisted for this workshop. During the first weekend we got acquainted with the basics of Shambhala meditation (sitting and walking) which has its origins in Tibetan traditions. Shambhala means 'belief of nothing' in Sanskrit, it is about not having viewpoints.

For this shamata (attention) meditation technique we need three things: friendliness and gentleness towards ourselves; fearlessness, a courageous action to sit down without a goal; and intelligence, a wakeful gaze upon our mind. Meditating is about observing what is happening, not controlling it, like a warrior: fearless and gentle. Meditation is the synchronization of body and spirit, being in the same place and in the same time.

We get into the right posture, the focus of the breathing is on the exhalation without influencing it and the minute we realize that we are thinking we quietly say to ourselves: thinking and we come back to the breathing. Our mind is like a wild horse, that is one of the well known images in Shambhala. We give this wild horse lots of space and time and at a certain moment it will stand still.

And then there is something like basic goodness, our fundamental being which has the desire to show our sparkle or brilliance, but we are afraid of that. So we stay in our cocoon, our safe space where everything is familiar. However, the aim is that we want to be true. There is a difference between first thought and second thought. 'First' means: fresh, something true. 'Second' means: all our comments on that, our judgements.
This is in a nutshell what I understood from the teacher and it is in no way complete. We listened and practiced and the real practice actually starts now, when I am back at home and am trying to pick up the routine of taking a few minutes of my day and spending it for myself. Anyways, next week the training 'Mediation in daily life' will start, that will help me for sure.

Book review: Current reading

My latest and current reading projects (from top to bottom):

• The wisdom of a broken heart, by Susan Piver. Susan writes with a lot of self humor about the feelings and emotions like sorrow, grief, anger, shame and lack of confidence after a broken love affair. Gave me confidence and recognition after the ending of my own relationship. 
• The Sanity we are born with. A buddhist approach to psychology, by Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche. All people are born with a spiritual healthy core. This book is not always easy to read and it would help if you are already familiar with Shambhala buddism, but it gives a clear insight in psychology from a very different perspective.
• When things fall apart, by Pema Chödrön. Pema is an American buddhist nun and a well-known pupil of Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche. This book is also very handy to read in times of trouble like a broken relationship. She mainly advises to feel the feelings, to meet your demons and not to avoid them.
• The Shambhala principle; Discovering Humanities Hidden Treasure, by Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche. Sakyong Mipham is the son of Chögyam Trungpa and in this book he explains about the fundamental goodness of people, how to find that in ourself and how to influence society with it.

Quotes about forgiveness

I Googled the word Forgiveness and found a list of quotes. Below I copied a few that touched me or made me laugh:

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
― Oscar Wilde

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
― Mahatma Gandhi, All Men are Brothers: Autobiographical Reflections

 

“Dumbledore says people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience  

“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.”
― Rita Mae Brown

“True forgiveness is when you can say, "Thank you for that experience.”
― Oprah Winfrey 

“Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever,-
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.”
― William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing

“Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”
― Will Smith  

“Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.”
― Criss Jami, Salomé: In Every Inch In Every Mile  

“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.” 

― Nelson Mandela

“Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive.”
― Wm. Paul Young, The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity 

“An eye for an eye, and the whole world would be blind.” 

― Khalil Gibran 

“Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.”
― Gautama Buddha, The Dhammapada: The Sayings of the Buddha

And there are many many more, read them over here.

About forgiveness

Last Sunday I went to the BrightNow festival at the Tropenmuseum, Amsterdam. It was the last day of this Shambhala festival, which I believe took place for the very first time in Amsterdam. I am not a Shambhalian buddhist, but Miksang contemplative photography has its roots in this tradition so I decided to join them for a day.

I joined the workshop 'The strength of Forgiveness' which was led by lawyer Wikke Monster. She has been a lawyer for about 20 years and lately she has been missing something in jurisdiction: the element of forgiveness. She has been reading a lot about it and working with clients in various cases.
She started to explain that there are two reasons to forgive:

1. to free yourself from the pain and anger caused by the perpetrator. This is about restoring your own humanity and breaking the spiral of violence or retaliation cycle, independent of what the perpetrator wants (does he/she show remorse or not).
2. the positive effect it has on your health: it decreases anger, increases hope, strengthens your self confidence and much more.

The retaliation cycle is opposite the forgiveness cycle of Tutu and the latter consists of four steps:

1. telling the story
2. embracing the pain
3. forgiving the other
4. ending or renewing the relationship

Forgiving is NOT: forgetting, tolerating, a trick, making up excuses. You don't forgive to please somebody else, you don't even need the other person. You don't forgive out of compassion for the other or for sentimental reasons and it also is not a matter of seconds. To actually forgive somebody is a process which make take a while.

So then, what is forgiveness? There are a few definitions or descriptions:

• Humanization of both the victim and the perpetrator.
• Everyone is essentially good.
• We condemn the act but not the person behind the act.

Lawyer Wikke Monster had invited a man over whose daughter was brutally murdered a few years ago. In a few words he told us the horrible story. He was a little bewildered with the word 'forgiveness', he didn't exactly know what that meant. But he could explain to us that he felt no hate towards the murderer and that he felt totally free of him, he lived his own life. So, we guessed in that sense he had forgiven the murderer.
The man also made a distinction between forgiveness towards his daughter or towards himself. He could only forgive the murderer of what he had done to himself (namely robbing him of his daughter), but the actual murder could only be forgiven by the daughter, because that was an act done to her.

I thought this was an amazing story and so did all the other participants. Imagine the impact! And there I was just thinking about an ex-boyfriend and letting go of my anger towards him. My story is so insignificant to what I had just heard. But still, I felt that the next step in my process is to forgive my ex of what he did to me.

Question only is: how do I do that? I can see it is not about forgetting, because that would only mean I would push away my emotions and putting them away in a dark corner of my being. As I see it now, forgiving is about going through all the emotions, accepting them for what they are, accepting myself for having them and as time goes by and the emotions fade away seeing the qualities of my ex. Just like the fourfold road of Tutu. And after that comes the ending or renewal of the relationship. To me it has already ended, but maybe a friendship might arise. Time will only tell.

Exhibition: Expedition Silk Road

Last Saturday my friend Veronie and I went to the Hermitage Museum in Amsterdam. We wanted to soak in some culture and we have always been interested in the Orient and the Far East. The exhibition we visited was called Expedition Silk Road.

The weather was extremely hot and the museum was wonderfully cool because of the preservation all the artifacts. We were not allowed to take any pictures, I guess that is because many people use a flash when they photograph in a museum and that ruins the colours of the artifacts. Personally, I don't use a flash because it makes the pictures really flat and I don't want any ruining on my conscience.

I never really realised how extensive the area was of what is called the Silk Road and how many countries were linked to it: Russia, India, Afghanistan, Iran, Irak and lots of kingdoms I have never heard of before. I secretly took the picture below because I was so in awe with it.

boddhisatva with buddhas disciples Kashyapa and Ananda on his sides

On the Silk Road many objects were traded, not just silk, also silver, glass, gold and every day utensils. The Silk Road not only caused the spreading of diseases but also of Buddhism, hence the many Buddhist artifacts found along the Road and displayed in the museum. The objects were excavated by Russian expeditions in the 19th and 20th centuries.

@State Hermitage St. Petersburg

We really loved (as we are costume fans) looking at this stylish lady from the city of Kucha, in one hand she is holding a lotus flower. Her dress is in one piece and apparently that was rather unusual at the time.

The closing date of the exhibition is 5 September 2014, so there is plenty of time to go and see it.

Maitri workshop: Green

The last colour we experienced during the Maitri workshop last weekend was GREEN. This time we had to lie on our backs in a particular position for about 20 minutes. It was quite an active pose, maybe that's why I had a lot of thoughts. I was away on vacation for a short while, then came back with my awareness to the room. I noticed the GREEN became less intense after a while until I realized I didn't like this colour, it was ugly. The flexing of the feet made my legs grow tired and that feeling crawled into my lower belly.

When I took off my glasses the world was purple for a short while. Going outside I didn't know where to go to. I really walked aimlessly up and down the street very slowly, that took me about 20 minutes. I was calm and quiet, I felt at peace with the world.

I felt the need for nature: green plants, trees and flowers. So I was looking for that in the street. The street felt narrow, but looking up I experienced space.

The funny thing was that I noticed myself reflected in windows and cars more than ever and as you can see I even took a few selfies. So I guess I was at peace with myself, too.

About the colour
GREEN - karma (Sanskrit, meaning action) - air (element)
There are many ways to experience action: slow like a tree and fast like a runner. Action always has a purpose, a certain measure of efficiency, productivity and competitiveness.
The over-the-top side of GREEN: competition leads to control, keeping an eye on each other. Our whole society is built on that. The Buddhist idea of a chain reaction is that it is hard to stop. In relation to yourself: look in what way you are a product of your own habitual patterns. It is interesting to try to do something about those patterns, that makes your life more exciting (but not always easy). Fear is behind habitual patterns, sometimes well hidden. We like to keep our habitual patterns, because when we act out of habit we know exactly what is going to happen.

The wisdom of GREEN is the wisdom of creative acting. You are not acting defensively, but you are working on delivering a good product. You are in total contact with the situation and the timing of how things work. You identify yourself with what you are doing, you become one with it and that gives a lot less friction. Radna (yellow) are your recourses to come into action. Internal and external resources: "How could I use this the best way, in which way do I bloom the best?" You can grow like a tree, slowly and by itself. That is the natural way of things. To get there we need to relax.

Now I know why I felt relaxed and one with all during the walk: that is the natural way, it is the effect of GREEN.

Maitri workshop: Red

The fourth colour we experienced physically and emotionally was RED. We had to lie down in a certain pose with our glasses on for about 20 minutes. The colour RED was very bright in the beginning but that faded to a softer orange after a while. It was like coming home, I felt at ease and I almost 'fell' asleep because of the comfortable position. It was literally 'falling' asleep because my body gave a little shock when I came back to my senses.

When I walked out of the door for our little aimless walk I was speedy. I took a very brisk walk to the nearby Museum square (Museumplein) and I wanted to see people. No details, no relaxation and no contemplation. I was't even in the mood for taking photos except these few. I wanted to see and be around people, to throw myself in the midst of them and to just move amongst them. I was hardly stopped by what I saw.

RED - fire - padma (sanskrit, meaning flower which is a symbol for enlightenment)
Red and blue are located opposite each other in the mandala. They belong together like yin and yang: they balance and complement each other. Fire is totally dependent on fuel, but water doesn't need anything (independent). That works the same in our personalities and relationships. Padma is steering towards union, oneness: compare love and sexuality in a relationship.
Padma - passion - love - the flame of Love. According to Chögyam Trunga Rinpoche love is the only emotion that is capable of escaping the ego.
In relation to fire, the distance to it is determining, fire is communication. A union arises by communication, with the right distance otherwise you burn yourself. Empathy is a quality of RED: zooming in to know someone intimately.

The wisdom of RED is compassion, discrimination awareness wisdom: that is a distinctive wisdom. The wisdom is about appreciation of the uniqueness, but also of the oneness of all.
All in all a rather complex colour, but I enjoyed how it made me feel.

Workshop Maitri: Blue

The third colour we experienced in the Maitri workshop of last weekend was BLUE. This time we had to lie on our stomach in a certain position. I felt my heart against the floor and that made me want to be in contact with someone. My eyelids felt heavy some of the time, it felt like being in bed. Physically I grew cold after a while and time seemed to last forever.

When I took off my glasses everything seemed orange for a short while. I felt the need to go to the water: I saw the raindrops of the rain that had fallen that morning, reflections in the canal, flowers in the water, the swans and the ducks. I saw it all very clear. All animals seemed extremely busy grooming their feathers and I was watching them, even talking to them. I saw coots chasing a duck out of their territory. I felt happy, I was amused and I had a feeling of space.

About BLUE - vajra (sanskrit) - water as reflecting wisdom
Water can only reflect in the absence of movement. Water can be very clear depending on the subsurface of the water. Reflecting knows no empathy, it is quite confronting. Water reflects everything without distinction. Reflecting can also be used on human behavior, in that case reflecting can also be quite ruthless.

The human quality of the colour BLUE is intellect, the beauty of clear thought and clairvoyance. Intellect can be harsh and could need a little soothing from feelings and empathy. BLUE has the quality of perceiving relationships (in my case ducks); visual clarity.

The enlightened side of BLUE is clear perception, insight. The sharp side of BLUE is the imperative (blue road signs), it is often a clinical colour (swimming pools) and it's the colour of learning behavioral patterns. But also of making a chart of the reality and then realizing that the reality doesn't live up to your chart.

I am so thankful that I am learning to be in the moment more and more. What else do I need on my chart than looking at a beautiful swan with its young ones passing by?

Workshop Maitri: White

The second colour or Buddha family we discussed in the Maitri workshop, was the colour WHITE. The 5 Buddha families are 5 ways to look at space. The whole cosmos is inspired by 5 energies, on the most material level they are represented by the 5 elements (fire, air, water, earth and space) and in the least material level by the 5 wisdoms.

I need to add to the story that photography was not part of the program: I used the workshop to see in what way colours would influence my photography and to discover if I would see other things than in my 'normal' contemplative practice. I won't give an answer to that yet.

Like I said: the second colour was WHITE. We had to sit in a specific position for about twenty minutes looking at a white sheet of paper with 'white' glasses on. That felt like being in a fog. Apart from that, I felt quiet and rather neutral. The posture was a little uncomfortable: after a while my elbows started to hurt, I felt sweaty and I was thinking "are we ready, yet?" a lot. Some of the other participants almost fell asleep and I felt that my eyes became heavy, too.

During the walk I didn't notice anything in particular except a little more white and fogginess in window dressings like in the first picture above. I didn't see as much as this morning, nor was I as focussed as then. I was walking in the little streets and that didn't quite feel comfortable.

About the colour WHITE: buddha (sanskrit) - space
The colour white is all about space: as you can see most of the mandala (see below) is white. Space has no beginning and no end, it is a quality of being, the wakefulness without boundaries. All colours and energies can be present in that field. There is no time in space. It is the space of hospitality that anything possible can happen, without judgement, without self interest.

People are afraid of space (retirement), we arm ourselves against it, we grow numb, we solidify or freeze the space or we put walls in it. We try to lure other people in our territory. The space of our mind contains a lot of energy, expressed in our presence, mood or radiance. The space that we have is infinite, but we need to conquer it: we only need to take a step back in order to release the space that we already have.
How does that work in relationships? How much space do you take in your relationships? I realize that I sometimes take up too much space so that the other person has trouble and sometimes I take up too little space for myself and then I get squeezed. It is like a dance.

Workshop Maitri: Yellow

I am in the middle of a Maitri workshop right now, I've just passed the second day and the last and third day is tomorrow. The workshop is given at the Shambhala Centre here in Amsterdam.
Maitri means friendship and it is a colour theory that is older than Buddhism, it probably originates from Hinduism. The five colors below form the most essential mandala: a mandala is like a chart from the world and the human mind.

In the Maitri colour sessions, the five colours are being intensified so that they become a portal to our emotions and also to the wisdom energies that are hidden in those emotions: clarity, richness, warmth, activity and spatiality.

Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche

The Tibetan meditation master Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche derived the Maitri-practice from the energy philosophy of the buddhistic tantra. He combined the five colors with Tibetan yoga-postures which lead to unique experiences during the practise.
So far the theory.

On the morning of day 1 (yesterday) we experienced YELLOW (it looks more like orange in the picture above). After meditation we received a yellow tinted pair of 'glasses' (it really was a yellow filter attached to felt) and we were to lie on the floor in a specific position for about 20 minutes. We had to focus on our observation (feeling, seeing, smelling ect.) and our emotions. I observed a lot of anger in myself, openness to the space above me, but later on a pressing feeling as if the space above put me down. I also experienced a feeling of floating. Physically my fingers turned a little numb from continually spreading them out.
After those 20 minutes we were to walk outside aimlessly.  During that walk I noticed that my awareness was more open, that I saw a lot of details, everything was very focussed and it was all rather sparkly (drala). I also experienced a feeling of sadness and loneliness. Of course I had my camera on me, below are some images of what I saw.

Information on the colour:
YELLOW - radna (Sanskrit) - earth
The earth is big, heavy, wide, rich (in details), solid, its attraction is experienced by gravity. The earth is feeding everything and everyone. Earth is connected with feeling, because it is very primal. Earth is also about life and death. Yellow is connected to food, eating, preparing, cooking, collecting and territory. The wisdom of yellow is equality and equanimity. This practice is about attention for subtleties (-> details) and giving up of resistance.

See also: WHITE, BLUE, RED, GREEN