Long Time No See.

Erstwhile friend and prolific blogger, Miss Laura of Art Scatter fame (that's not her in the picture), has chided and inveigled, nagged and cajoled about this site's lack of ...dismal record of...paucity of... that we haven't been posting anything lately.

"But blogging is so 2009!" I scream in response. "Twitter is the medium of the moment for cutting-edge provocateurs such as me. If it can't be said in 140 characters or less, you're saying too much."

But she's right. More than three months have passed without a peep out of me. So get off my back already. Here's something new:

November is National Novel Writing Month (popularly referred to as “NaNoWriMo”). If you’re so inclined, you can join thousands of other writers hellbent on cranking out at least 50,000 words over the span of thirty days. That works out to an average of 1,667 words per day...assuming you start on November 1st, which many diehards do at the stroke of midnight. If you procrastinate for the first ten days, you will have to average 2,500 words daily. So what's an extra 800+ words? On the other hand, if you wait until November 29th, you'll have to do 25,000 a day. Good luck with that.

Here’s what I’ve written so far:

CHAPTER 1

Marlowe Teablick entered the bookstore with a purposeful stride. An electronic chime sounded and the clerk looked up at him. Marlowe walked to the counter without stopping to browse at the display tables. He was full of purpose.

“Can I help you find something?” the clerk asked.

“I’m looking for something to read. What do you suggest?”

“Fiction or non-fiction?”

“Fiction. I’m planning to write a novel and I need inspiration,” explained Marlowe.

“Jonathan Franzen’s new novel is quite popular. Oprah endorsed it.” The clerk handed him a copy. “This one is autographed.”

Marlowe read the back cover and flipped through the book quickly. “These chapters are too long,” he said, handing the book back to the clerk. “I like short chapters so I can reach a stopping place when I get sleepy.”

“I understand,” said the clerk. “Perhaps you would enjoy a thriller.”

“That sounds good,” Marlowe answered. “I liked that DaVinci Code book and how Dan Brown ended each chapter with a cliffhanger. It made me want to keep reading.”

“Then I think you’ll really like this!” shouted the clerk as he pulled out a gleaming, 9mm Glock 17 and pointed it at Marlowe's head.

CHAPTER 2

Marlowe woke up in a bathtub full of ice...

Now, if you'll excuse me, I better get busy with the rest of it.

Notes:

1) You will find me on Twitter: @mightytoycannon

2) The second photo isn't Miss Laura either.

Portland Adult Soapbox Derby Weekend!

Would Culture Shock be doing its job of keenly observing art and life in Portland if we didn’t mention that the 2009 Portland Adult Soapbox Derby is this Saturday (August 22, 2009)?


Since 1996, racers have been speeding down the twisty roads that flank Portland’s own volcano, Mt. Tabor, risking life, limb and dignity. What began as an impromptu guerilla event seems to have matured--though just a tiny bit. While there are now rules and a $100 entry fee to defray costs, it’s still a rambunctious affair. Fortunately, it has not taken on the stink of big corporate sponsorship; while PBR and New Deal Vodka have logos on the flyer, most of the sponsors are local.

The event rulebook mandates that vehicles have no fewer than three wheels making contact to the roadway (no maximum is specified), and that gravity is the sole power source. Vehicles must have functional brakes (the organizers clearly state "no Fred Flintstone brakes"). Builders are allowed to spend no more than $300 on each car. Perhaps most importantly, "no pyrotechnics, fire, or fireworks are allowed in the park or as part of any car." Water and water balloons are considered acceptable weapons for deployment against other cars.

On the registration form, entrants are asked to state a preference as follows:

Our car is on the side of (check one) . . .
Art: ___ Science: ___

The racing starts with preliminary heats at 10:00. One fan recommends going early in the day if you want to see the more “colorful” and wacky cars – by the end of the day, only the fast cars are left in the competition.

For this event Portland Parks has made an exception to its standard “no alcohol” policy by allowing the organizers to set up a “beer garden.” You can bring wine and beer (no kegs) and consume your choice of refreshing beverage within ten feet of the race course. A map of the course and spectator areas is available at the event's website.

I haven't decided whether to put this on my own cultural calendar for the weekend; however, Portland's drinking water reservoirs are on Mt. Tabor and might need to be protected by the Miniscule Blue Helmets. *


* As of this afternoon, Blue Helmets have landed on the Eastbank Esplanade, the Oregon Coast, the Pearl District and Timberline Lodge. One is on his way to Alaska.

I'm Not Going But You Should

Culture Jock recently decided to discontinue his Friday feature,"Last Call," which highlighted performing arts events that were on the verge of closing. Instead, he's promised to promote arts events earlier in their runs to discourage procrastination.

It's a great idea, but I think we need another approach as well--one that says, "Here's a show I'd like to see but, honestly, I don't think I'm gonna make it." This is not the same as saying, "I am SO not going!" That would be reserved for productions to be avoided at all costs.

Each posting under the new "I'm Not Going" feature will start with the words, "I have other plans, but ..." So here goes the first installment:

I have other plans, but the Opera Theatre Oregon’s (OTO) shows at the Clinton Theatre this weekend sound like a blast. Past OTO productions have caused audiences and critics to rave and froth, so this one ought to be good.

Tonight at 8:00 pm (21+) and Sunday at 3:00 pm (all ages) and 8:00 pm (21+), OTO will be presenting “Opera Cinema Dada” and encouraging audiences to “embrace the absurd: give Dada a hug.” The performances are described this way:

Nuns in rubber play accordions, cats howl on key, children dodge a woman throwing knives, and angels sing mockingly as boxes of sin try to pass through Heaven's kitchen door. This Father's Day Weekend, Opera Theater Oregon's Opera Cinema: Dada aspires to make no sense to viewers. In the anti-tradition of Dada ("onlY NothINg is tRUtH!"), Opera Cinema: Dada collages together surreal film shorts with live opera singers, chorus, cabaret band, and sound effects. The live soundtrack features the exquisite melodies of Verdi, Puccini, Faure and others.

OTO’s conceit of presenting a classical art form in a non-classical setting while saying, “relax, this isn’t going to hurt” strikes me as a sensible approach to keeping said form relevant and alive. OTO has a smashing motto-- “Making Opera Safe for America.” Its mission is "to introduce opera to new audiences, and offer a new angle on the art form for confirmed opera lovers. We perform at a bar (our home venue, Someday Lounge), usually in English and rarely for longer than the average Stephen Seagal movie. Our productions are cast with brilliant local operatic and orchestral talent."

Here’s their promo video for this weekend’s shows:

Go. Have fun. You'll feel better about yourself.

Closing Time

On yet another weekend that seems more about outdoor weather than indoor arts events, there are two noteworthy productions that will close before Memorial Day. You may have other can't-miss arts events to recommend -- and the comments section is all yours!

Hand2Mouth got decent notices with Everyone Who Looks Like You, entertainingly staged in a MilePost Five model unit at the chapel performance space at MilePost Five. Final performances Friday and Saturday and Sunday at 8PM. The bonus here is the opportunity to see the artist's community and live/work space that has been created out on 82nd Avenue -- tell us what you think.

Also, Distracted wraps up its run at Artist's Rep, with final performances Friday, Saturday and Sunday at 7:30PM, plus a Sunday matinee at 2PM.

Enjoy the holiday weekend, won't you?

Last Call

Another warm and sunny weekend will leave us feeling all conflicted about indoor arts activities. But here, as per usual, is your weekly round-up of can't-miss arts events that will soon vanish into thin air. Because you might need a break from the sun.

Portland Taiko has always felt like summertime to me, and they're performing this weekend at Lewis & Clark College. Shows are at 3 and 8PM on Saturday, and it's only an hour and fifteen minutes so you'll be back out in the summer weather in no time flat -- and with a little more spring in your step.

"Sounds of Summer" also sounds aprapos. Metropolitan Youth Symphony will perform the community concert on Sunday, May 17 at 2:00 at George Fox University.

Oregon Children's Theater winds down its well-received run of Petite Rouge in the Winningstad Theater this weekend. Final performances are at 2 and 5PM on Saturday, and 2PM on Sunday.

Bruce Livingston says that Monday night's PlayWrite Showcase will be especially amazing, so let's go check it out on Monday at 7:30 PM at the World Trade Center theater. This annual showcase is a free event, but you'll want to get there early to snag a seat.

In the meantime, enjoy the weekend!

Last Call

I'm sorry I didn't publish a "last call" today -- and I don't have time now because I'm off to see if I fit into my custom-built flight attendant costume for tomorrow night. But if you have a soon-to-close, can't-miss arts event to share, please do tell.

Meanwhile, I hope to see some of you at tomorrow's red dress extravaganza. I can call it that because apparently more than 1800 people have purchased tickets so far. And Mighty Toy Cannon was driving by Bodyvox yesterday and reports that Hollywood Lights has loaded in -- what did you call it MTC? -- the biggest damn disco ball ever?

W00t.

P.S. The Mayor's proposed budget was released today and includes increases for the arts and arts education. It's not posted online yet so I can't link to it, but stay tuned. More on Monday.

Last Call

Again: how time flies. And before we know it, these too will be gone:

El Grito del Bronx is in its final performances at Miracle Theatre. It's a "memoryscape" of a brother and sister and their abusive father. Sounds gloomy and grisly, I know, but the reviews have been great. Closes Saturday.

OBT has been getting strong notices as well with its intimate performance in the Newmark Theater, Left Unsaid. Bob Hicks explains it all for you in his review, and you've got five more chances to catch it, with 2:00 matinees on Saturday and Sunday, plus evening performances on Friday, Saturday and Sunday at 7:30PM.

Have you ever been to the Art Gym at Marylhurst University? There's a fun film and video installation going on now that may entice you: "Guys Doing Guy Things" by Oregon artists Mike Bray, Dan Gilsdorf, Mack McFarland and Stephen Slappe features projected images, interesting installation art and integrated sculpture. Ends Monday.

Many are anxiously awaiting the announcement by Profile Theatre of who their featured playwright will be next year. Hopefully someone more interesting (if less prolific) than Neil Simon. Stop by their announcement party on Monday at 5:30 at Theater! Theatre! to be among the first to find out. It's free.

Have a great weekend!

Last Call

Although my own cultural journey will take me on a different path this weekend (including "Crazy Enough" at PCS, the CAP art auction, and "Left Unsaid" at OBT), here is a run-down of mighty fine offerings that will close in the next few days, so get 'em while you can.

Mighty Toy Cannon has already encouraged you to enjoy "Chunky Moves," Australia's thrilling, genre-defying dance company presented by White Bird at the YWCA (1111 SW 10th). Final shows Friday at 8pm, Saturday at 2pm and 8pm, and Sunday at 2pm and 8pm.

Oregon Repertory Singers closes their 2008-09 season with 4 Classics and a Premiere, including Haydn’s Creation, Handel’s Messiah, Purcell’s Come Ye Sons of Art, the final movement from Mendelssohn’s Symphony #2, Lobgesang, and, you guessed it, a new premiere. Sunday at 3:30 and Monday at 7:30 at the First United Methodist Church (SW 18th and Jefferson).

There's also a PlayWrite performance on Monday night (7:30 at Miracle Theatre) in which young writers from Portland Night High School will direct professional actors in a staged reading of their original works. Admission is free.

Enjoy!

Last Call

It's Friday --and that means it's time for our weekly round-up of can't-miss arts opportunities that won't be around by this time next week.

Portland Chamber Orchestra performs "The Four Seasons" Saturday night at 7:30, in the Kaul Auditorium of Reed College. Love the Vivaldi this time of year!

Tahni Holt will dance the last "event.space" dances TONIGHT at 7PM and 9PM, at the Ace Cleaners (403 SW 10th). Could be interesting -- a "rumination on society's voyeuristic tendencies and how they manifest in modes of architecture and technology."

Speaking of dance, the annual "Mad Hot Ballroom" gala fundraiser for Young Audiences is this Saturday, with local celebs Connie Greenblatt, Anna Song, Ed Tonkin, Thomas Lauderdale, Paul King and Walter Jaffe among those being paired with professional ballroom dances. Tickets are steep at $250, but it is one of the "funner" fundraisers in town.

Monday night is Mayor Adams' follow-up Town Hall on arts and culture, and he will be joined on the stage by other electeds and art leaders like Jose Gonzales and Thomas Lauderdale. 5-7 PM at PCS ("The Bob"). Look for DK Row's story on Monday morning, and come get your copy of the region's new Creative Action Plan -- hot off the presses. It helps explain why I've been working so hard the past two weeks! (Past two years, actually.)

Hey, good blogging and commenting this week, people. Thank you all!

Last Call

Here we are, Friday's pretty much over and I have yet to post "Last Call" for the weekend of April 4-5. Sorry about that! I appreciate the work that Mighty Toy Cannon has been doing to post some really interesting tidbits this week while I've been slaving a way on the final draft of the final report of the Regional Creative Capacity Project. I know, I know. You've been holding your breath and you are atwitter* with anticipation and all of that. But seriously. Save the date for April 13 and come to the Town Hall meeting at PCS at 5PM where all will be revealed and the revolution will officially begin.

Meanwhile, your Last Call.

Don't miss the Foot Opera Files, which performs Saturday at 7:30 PM. (The final show on Sunday is sold out.) The reviews have been mixed, but for me the Tom Waits ballads as performed by three by trained opera singers fit fantastically with the Bodyvox style, wherein modern and whimsical dances are performed by classically-trained ballet dancers. The movements aren't always precise and the music sometimes feels strange in this stylistic in-between, but the collaboration is constantly magical. Bodyvox really shines in an intimate venue like this (their new home) and the live music contributes to the feeling that this is what a really good, late-night, old-fashioned cabaret must have felt like.

The Portland Gay Men's Chorus performs an international smorgasbord of music on Saturday at 8pm and Sunday 2pm with "Earthy Harmonies." Really, the Chorus just keeps getting better and better and this tour of China, Africa, Mexico, Estonia, Israel, India, and the South Pacific should be really great.

That's a shorter list than usual, so if you know of any other must-sees that are about to disappear, please tell us in the comments section!



* This seems like an opportunity to adapt Twitter somehow. CynSeattle, can you get on that?

Last Call

Here's my weekly summary of critically acclaimed or highly anticipated arts events that may have snuck up on you -- but they're about to close. So be sure you catch them this weekend if you possibly can.

I heard good things about Holcombe Waller's theatrical performance of original folk songs that opened last night at Imago Theater. More performances tonight (Friday) at 8PM, Saturday at 8PM, and Sunday at 2PM. Just fifteen bucks.

And, The Importance of Being Earnest at Portland Center Stage wraps up its run with final performances tonight and tomorrow, closing Sunday. My how time flies. If you're short on cash I highly recommend their rush line for $10 tickets, or use your Arts Card to get 2-for-1 tickets.

Profile Theatre has a One Night Stand coming up on Monday. Enjoy a reading of one of Neil Simon's lesser-known works, God's Favorite, on March 30th at 7:30PM. $5 suggested donation. "No reservations, no regrets." 3430 SE Belmont.

You've got just a little extra time to catch Benicio Del Toro's portrayal of Che Guevara. Steven Soderbergh's film Che ("The Complete [four hours, 23 minutes] Roadshow Edition") is at the Hollywood Theater now through Thursday. Ten bucks admission includes a special collector's edition program; check their website for showtimes.

Be sure to share your own final notices if I've forgotten anything good. Thanks, and cheers!

Last Chance!

The procrastinator in me of late has taken to scanning the arts calendars each weekend to find out what's closing, so that I might prioritize my options and be sure to catch anything good that I've missed. Since I'm doing this "research" anyway, I thought it might be helpful to share my findings with the readers of Culture Shock. Ideally this will become a weekly installment, with input from my colleagues, but let's see how it goes.

Rather than a laundry list of all the things that are about to close, I'd like to focus on the performances and exhibits that have received broad critical acclaim, because I think it's important for us to point audiences (and ourselves) to arts experience that reinforce why we invest our time and money in arts and culture in the first place. I admire the braver, more adventurous souls among us who muck through a lot of so-so art to find the gems that are out there, but frankly, that can get pretty exhausting. I'll venture out for the unknown on occasion, but for the most part, please tell me what's good and I'll make a point of seeing it.

So with that, here are the more sure-fire arts events that will disappear soon, so be sure to catch them while you can:

How to Disappear And Never Be Found at PCS. British playwright Fin Kennedy has received many accolades for this new work; the American premiere is directed here by Rose Riordan and features the brilliant Ebbe Row Smith. A few tickets are available for final performances on Friday at 7:30, Saturday at 7:30, Sunday at 2:00 and Sunday at 7:30.

White Bird presents anoukvandijk dc at the Oaks Park Dance Pavilion. This thrillingly interactive piece from the Netherlands is part of White Bird's "Uncaged" series exploring modern dance in interesting new venues. Final shows tonight (Friday) at 7:00 and 9:30 PM.

Honus and Me, staged by Oregon Children's Theatre in the Winningstad, is reported to be "one of the best children's plays that will grace a Portland stage this year." (--The Oregonian.) The Steven Dietz play, based on a novel about baseball cards by Dan Gutman, has tickets available for the final performances on Saturday at 2PM, and Sunday at 2 and 5PM.

Don't forget that 24/7 is this weekend. As reported here before, Bill Crane and Thomas Lauderdale have lined up 24 hours of intriguing live concerts to punctuate the fact that our country has been at war for seven years now. 7PM Saturday through 7PM Sunday.

And lastly, you may have noticed that Coraline got bumped out of the 3D theaters a couple weeks ago by the hideous Jonas Brothers and their own 3D ambitions, but I am pleased to report that the Laika Studios hit is BACK at Lloyd Center and a few other select 3D theaters through next Thursday. To see it in anything but 3D is to miss out on something truly special. Check fandango for theaters and movie times.