The turnaround king turns Portland around.

Yesterday morning, I joined a few hundred colleagues to hear Michael Kaiser, President of the Kennedy Center, give his “Arts In Crisis” talk – a sermon he’s been delivering on a nationwide tour over the past year. Portland was stop number 55 on the gospel circuit, with Portland Center Stage’s Gerding Theatre standing in for the big white tent.

The stop before Portland? Pierre, South Dakota, population 13,000. (Bonus Points for correct pronunciation of Pierre).

Kaiser has been hailed as “the turnaround king” and called a “transformational leader” based on his record of pulling the fat out of the fire for several struggling arts companies. In his talks, his books, and on his blog, he’s been urging arts leaders to keep investing in producing great, exciting art, rather than allowing the challenges of the recession turn us into boring cowards. We also need to continue investing in marketing (“institutional marketing” in particular). "You can't save your way to financial health," he argues.

One of the event's hosts, the Oregon Arts Commission, encouraged me to blog about it, recognizing my tremendous reach as a thought leader. They didn’t know that I would spend a full 45 minutes coming up with the following:

Michael Kaiser is recognized throughout the universe as the gold standard of gurus. He is both the real deal and the beau ideal—an exemplar of expertise and a paragon of perspicacity. There is no other way to describe him other than by using words like nonpareil, or words that mean the same thing. Some may disagree, but none will dispute that he is arguably the apotheosis of arts administration."

My point being that I don’t know what I’m doing.

Then I remember that I’m not a journalist. I’m an aggregator. My job is to point you in the direction of my betters. In this case (as is often the case) there’s none better than Lisa Radon, one of Portland’s finest arts journalists. Lisa tweeted throughout the talk with one hand while taking notes with another and waving to admirers with another. You can read her smart blog post summarizing Kaiser's talk here. Rumor has it that a video of the talk will be available, as will something they want me to believe is actually called a “podcast.”

Honestly, I went to the event with the stainless steel pump that is my heart primed with liquified natural gas. I prepared for the session by stretching my eye-rolling muscles and practicing my deep sigh technique. I jotted a few crib notes to remind me of choice interjections I might want to shout, such as:

"You wish!"
"In what parallel universe?"
"That's a smart observation. NOT!"
"Yeah...right."

Instead, I was transformed. Well, “transformed” is a little strong. Inspired and a motivated may be better adjectives. When I have the time, I might think about writing more on the topic.

The colleagues with whom I spoke afterwards shared the warm glow. One well-respected arts leader (fictional) went so far as to say, "The only thing that would have made the event more inspiring is if Kaiser were Justin Bieber and we were 12 year old girls."

Here are pictures of Michael Kaiser and Justin Bieber making secret hand gestures to their respective fans.

Talking regional arts funding

Yesterday afternoon, I participated in a discussion of a regional arts funding plan. Here's a video synopsis of what I heard.



I'm kidding, of course, and promise to write about it in a more serious tone soon.

Show Me the Money!

Today, the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA) announced that it will distribute just under $27 million in grants to 1,207 projects. Included in those numbers are 994 projects ($23,828,500) in the “Access to Artistic Excellence” category. According to the NEA press release, 1,697 eligible applications were submitted seeking funds for the creation and presentation of work in a variety of disciplines--a 22 percent increase over the prior year. For those keeping track, that means that just under 59% of the requests were funded (though many may have received a smaller grant than requested).

NEA Chair, Rocco Landesman stated that these grants will support “projects that have great works of art at the heart of them; that work to inspire and transport audiences and visitors; and that create and retain opportunities for artists and arts workers to be a part of this country's real economy."

With ten Oregon arts organizations receiving grants totaling $232,500, that works out to be just about 1 percent of the total. According to population estimates from the U.S. Census (2008), Oregon has 1.2 percent of the nation’s population. Seems to me, we got screwed out of .2 percent of what's due. But let's not quibble over rounding errors. You might note that six of the ten Oregon projects are to theater companies.

Here’s the list of Oregon's awardess, with project descriptions from the NEA. On behalf of Culture Shock, I extend a hearty congratulations to all of them:

Miracle Theatre Company
Category: Theater
$15,000
To support the West Coast premiere of El Quijote by Santiago García, based on the early 17th-century novel Don Quixote by Cervantes. Artistic Director Olga Sanchez will direct the piece.

Oregon Children's Theatre Company
Category: Theater
$20,000
To support the adaptation and premiere of Small Steps by Louis Sachar. The play will be a sequel to Sachar's novel Holes, which also was successfully adapted for the stage.

Oregon Shakespeare Festival Association
Category: Theater
$50,000
To support the development and world premiere production of American Night, a new piece by the theater ensemble Culture Clash to be directed by Jo Bonney. The project will be the first production in the company's American Revolutions: the United States History Cycle, a decade-long public dialogue, commissioning, and production initiative.

Portland Center Stage
Category: Theater
$15,000
To support the 12th annual JAW (Just Add Water): Playwrights Festival. The festival supports playwrights in the development of new works to enhance the repertoire of the American theater.

Third Rail Repertory Theatre
Category: Theater
$10,000
To support a final workshop and world premiere production of The Gray Sisters by Craig Wright. The production will be directed by Producing Artistic Director Slayden Scott Yarbrough and performed by company members.

White Bird
Category: Dance
$25,000
To support the presentation of dance companies in the White Bird Uncaged series. The project will include master classes and lecture-demonstrations.

Portland Art Museum (on behalf of Northwest Film Center)
Category: Media Arts
$35,000
To support the Northwest Film and Video Festival and its tour throughout the Northwest. The festival showcases new work by media artists living in Alaska, Idaho, Montana, Oregon, Washington, and British Columbia.

Eugene Symphony Association, Inc.
Category: Music
$12,500
To support American Encounters: Steven Stucky. The series will include performances of Stucky's recent compositions, a radio broadcast, and educational activities by the composer.

Artists Repertory Theatre (aka Artists Rep)
Category: Musical Theatre
$20,000
To support the development and production of Gracie and the Atom by Portland playwright and composer Christine McKinley. The production will be promoted through the theater's education and outreach program Actors to Go, which features student matinees, artists in classrooms, and post-show discussions.

Portland Opera Association Inc.
Category: Opera
$20,000
To support new productions of a chamber opera triple-bill comprising Leonard Bernstein's Trouble in Tahiti and Monteverdi's one-act operas Il Ballo Delle Ingrate and Il Combattimento di Tancredi e Clorinda. The artists will include the Portland Opera Studio Artists (POSA) and the POSA Chamber Opera.

Portland Taiko
Category: Presenting
$10,000
To support the development and presentation of Ten Tiny Taiko Dances. The series of new works will be created in collaboration with invited choreographers, musicians, and performance artists.

Although the organization is based in Vancouver, there’s one more project that touches Oregon:

Confluences (aka The Confluence Project)
Category: Design
$32,000
To support a landscape art installation by artist/architect Maya Lin at Celilo State Park. The installation will be located near The Dalles, Oregon, where one of North America's largest waterfalls was once located.

One final note: This post is an example of the new citizen's journalism that will soon be crushing "legacy media," which is what we're supposed to be calling that old fashioned stuff like newspapers. Frankly, I don't see why we need real reporters anyway. All I had to do was extract text from a press release, pull a list from a website, and do a quick Google search for census data. Any idiot could do it.

The Foundation Heimlich Maneuver

In announcing their October grant awards, the Meyer Memorial Trust made an interesting statement about their intentions to support Portland's five major arts organizations at roughly 1% of their budgets for the next 2-4 years.

Specifically, the Trust has just awarded $300,000 over two years to the Oregon Symphony, $260,000 over an unspecified period to the Portland Art Museum, and $200,000 to PCS over two years. Presumably the Opera's and Ballet's proposals are still pending, because the announcement came with this explanatory statement:

While 60% of MMT's funding has gone to organizations addressing rising demand for health and human services during this economically challenging time, we recognize the importance of supporting arts and culture groups, which contribute to the quality of life of our communities and region with both cultural and economic contributions.

Historically, MMT has been a relatively strong funder of Portland's five largest arts organizations, with a total of nearly $21 million collectively awarded to Portland Art Museum, Oregon Symphony, Portland Center Stage, Portland Opera, and Oregon Ballet Theatre since 1982. Foundation support has represented a larger portion of these arts organization's budgets because until recently, Oregon was ranked 53rd among states and territories (behind Guam and American Samoa) in government support of the arts per capita. (Oregon now ranks 40th.)

Two years ago, MMT and other area arts funders began to converse with Portland's five largest arts organizations to better understand their business models and what they need to achieve financial stability, in addition to artistic excellence. As a result of these discussions and a study by a nationally recognized arts consultant, MMT has determined it can most appropriately assist the groups with two years of operating support limited to approximately 1% of the organizations' operating budgets, with the possibility of an additional two years. During this period, MMT will not entertain additional proposals for operating and project support from these five groups.

Now before all of the other arts organizations start asking what about me, I would like to point out that the majors have been part of some difficult conversations over the past year with MMT and other grantmakers (including RACC) who have been concerned about the long-range sustainability of these groups. At the foundations' request, each organization has worked diligently to produce a plan that helps satisfy the concerns of trustees everywhere who are no longer willing to invest in organizations with chronic deficit problems. However, it is important to note that each organizations' debt situation is different, and granted some organizations are in worse shape than others, but suffice it to say that conservative lenders have legitimate and reasonable concerns about investing in any of these organizations right now, which is why they all had some 'splaining to do.

Imagine, if you've been the trustee of a foundation for the last 25 years, how many times you have heard an arts organization say that it has finally identified the formula for sustainability, only to fall back into a deficit a few years later, sometimes chronically so. And then they'll tell you, you all just need to give us more money, so they'll build a budget that assumes the contributions will magically come flowing in because their board is newly motivated to raise millions of dollars, only to find that a recession or a snowstorm or a death in the family prevents them from achieving their goal. OK, maybe that happens in one year, that's understandable. But if a board lets that behavior go on for two years, three, ten -- you can see how a foundation trustee could start banging his or her head against the wall and declare, Not another dime for this madness!

Fortunately for our arts organizations, the foundations wanted to be part of the solution. So they brought in technical assistance providers and convened arts organizations to let them know what they needed to do in order to satisfy their increasingly skeptical trustees. They asked them to demonstrate an ability to raise money at historically proven levels before moving toward bigger budgets. They asked them for evidence that they were taking their deficits seriously, with viable plans for repaying their debts. And they asked each board to be more aware of its organization's finances so that they could address the real problems together -- it's not helping anyone to sweep little messes under the rug and hide financial concerns in the balance sheet. These foundations did NOT ask them to cut their product, only to demonstrate that the product can be scaled match what the public is willing to pay for. I think of it as attempting the Heimlich Maneuver before jumping into CPR.

Fortunately, the arts organizations are coming through with strong and convincing cases. Which leads me to why I think this is a rising tide that will float all ships. For MMT to philosophically set aside funding at 1% of arts organizations budgets is a good start, but we don't know what happens after these 2-4 years have expired. Presumably, hopefully, arts organizations will then be able to apply for larger grants, not smaller ones, for unique needs they'll have in the years ahead, having demonstrated themselves as completely viable organizations with net assets on the rise. Meanwhile, smaller arts organizations are still applying for and receiving grants from MMT that represent a much larger percentage of their own budgets, sometimes as much as 20%, although these are highly competitive grants that are difficult for many to compete for given MMT's emphasis on social change and problem-solving. This is my biggest concern, does a small arts organization really have to solve a problem in order to be considered a vital charitable organization in our community?

But the MMT is re-evaluating their role, and for that I give them much credit. For the record I still think the Meyer Memorial Trust could and should invest much more money in the local arts community, but this statement about the major arts organizations is a critical first step. The performance of these five groups over the next five years could greatly influence the future of arts funding in Portland, and we are counting on them all to demonstrate extraordinary returns on investment rather than becoming just another black hole of arts funding. Let's consider this a pilot in MMT's own internal conversations about whether or not they should be supporting more arts organizations with general support in the future.

Fall.ART.Live ... Beer.DONUTS.Barbeque

This Saturday, Oregon Ballet Theatre (OBT) is hosting a free arts shindig “Fall-ART-Live” in its studio and out in the parking lot of its home base at 818 SE Sixth Avenue (between Belmont and Morrison).

The event will include short performances and studio workshops for both kids and adults. Most of the performances will be dance oriented (OBT, Polaris Dance, Linda Austin Dance, Josie Mosely Dance and Northwest Dance Project), though the Portland Opera is also on the roster. The workshops cover dance and theater. Do Jump! is in the mix, as is one of my favorites, Philip Cuomo (Portland Actors Conservatory and Third Rail) teaching “Body Imagination: An Intro to Physical Theatre.”

OBT has offered space and tables for other arts organizations to promote themselves and answer questions. Look for some of Culture Shock’s friends from Miracle Theatre, Portland Center Stage, Oregon Cultural Trust., Live Wire!, Mississippi Studios, White Bird and others. If you drop by in the afternoon between 2-3:30, I’ll be pulling a shift at the Oregon Children’s Theatre table. And if that’s not enough, you’ll find a beer garden (Bridgeport) and food from purveyors such as Bunk Sandwiches, Koi Fusion BBQ and the ubiquitous Voodoo Donuts.

OBT threw the event together quickly in the aftermath of its wildly successful Gala fundraiser and emergency appeal earlier this summer. The event is inspired by the organization’s new-found commitment to engaging the community, and is also intended to partially fill the gap created when it cancelled this year’s “OBT Exposed” which has been putting a rehearsal stage smack-dab in the middle of Portland’s Park Blocks for the past decade or more.

Over at the Mercury’s Blogtown site, Stephen Marc Beaudoin posted a jaded take on the event. Under the classy headline, “Fall.Art.(Dead?),” Mr. Beaudoin yawns and smirks at the whole thing. He seems to have gotten the impression that the OBT-initiated event is supposed to be a “new city-wide arts fest.” While OBT does call Fall-ART-Live a “festival,” nobody is seriously pretending that it’s anything more than a day-long arts fair and it's unfair to prejudge it as anything else.

In a follow-up comment Mr. Beaudoin points out that “many of the organizations hawking tickets at the event opted out of providing performers.” (In his post, these organizations are there to “pimp their wares”). Makes those organizations sound kind of sleazy and cheap, doesn’t it? Where do they get off not performing anyway?

How about if we try phrasing it this way: “Many of the organizations that were unable to perform are happy to have a chance to distribute information, meet the public and advocate for the arts.”

Dear readers, there’s a fine line between good-natured acerbic wit and just plain dickishness. Do me a favor and remind me when I step over that line. Which I will. Except that I'll claim it's just my world-weariness showing.

More From the Arts Front

Has Culture Shock given you more arts advocacy than you need or want? Are your gullets glutted with our pro-arts sentiments?

Perhaps you're already sold on the notion that arts and culture are societal salves --balms to cure economic catastrophe, reverse rampant underachievement, and assuage the anomie of the aimless. If so, our relentless advocacy may smack of beating a horse that already drank the Kool-Aid.

Or, heavens forfend, some of you may not be buying it at all. You've heard all the arguments in favor of the arts and all you can say is "pish posh" and "pizzletwist." For you, the arts are nothing more than a shiny charm bracelet--a little gris-gris stuffed in a juju sack to make us feel better. Or you think the arts are elitist and unable to survive in the rustle-tussle of the marketplace. "The fat lady has sung, " you declare. Enough said. Period. End of story.

To every one of our dear readers, it's my duty to tell you that we're duty bound to be hidebound on this issue. What would you have us do? Throw up our hands and throw in the towel?

Every once in a while, somebody famous says smart things about the arts that are ... well ... more eloquent than anything we can say. Rachel Maddow, for instance. That MSNBC pundit says smart things all the time--about all kinds of issues. She recently spoke at Jacob's Pillow, the annual contemporary dance festival in the Berkshires, and shared this brilliance with the audience:

Sometimes we choose to serve our country in uniform, in war. Sometimes in elected office. And those are the ways of serving our country that I think we are trained to easily call heroic.

It’s also a service to your country, I think, to teach poetry in the prisons, to be an incredibly dedicated student of dance, to fight for funding music and arts education in the schools. A country without an expectation of minimal artistic literacy, without a basic structure by which the artists among us can be awakened and given the choice of following their talents and a way to get to be great at what they do, is a country that is not actually as great as it could be.

And a country without the capacity to nurture artistic greatness is not being a great country. It is a service to our country, and sometimes it is heroic service to our country, to fight for the United States of America to have the capacity to nurture artistic greatness.

Not just in wartime but especially in wartime, and not just in hard economic times but especially in hard economic times, the arts get dismissed as ‘sissy’. Dance gets dismissed as craft, creativity gets dismissed as inessential, to the detriment of our country. And so when we fight for dance, when we buy art that’s made by living American artists, when we say that even when you cut education to the bone, you do not cut arts and music education, because arts and music education IS bone, it is structural, it is essential; you are--in [Jacob’s Pillow founder] Ted Shawn’s words--you are preserving the way of life that we are supposedly fighting for
and it’s worth being proud of.”

Though Maddow's statement is spreading on the interwebs, I credit the website Dancing Perfectly Free as the first place I spotted it. The photo is by Christopher Duggan.

More Stimulating News

I'm not dumping this story on a Friday afternoon in order to beat the news cycle or anything like that. I figure most Culture Shock readers aren't coming to us for breaking news; rather, you are ambling past when you have nothing else to do, or when you accidentally click on a link that leads here. In any case, file this one under “P” for Public Service Message. (As opposed to "M" for Mildly Entertaining Filler).

Last week we posted a list of arts organizations in Oregon which received National Endowment for the Arts grants as part of the fed's economic recovery plan. This week, the Oregon Arts Commission announced who will be receiving the share of federal funds it received from the NEA to be regranted to save arts jobs in the state. When spread across the entire state, the $306,700 in federal money doesn’t go very far. This round reached only sixteen arts organizations:

The Arts Center, Corvallis, $26,000.
Arts Central, Bend, $20,700.
Cappella Romana Vocal Ensemble, Portland, $10,000.
Friends of Chamber Music, Portland, $20,600.
Columbia Center for the Arts, Hood River, $18,000.
Eastern Oregon Regional Arts Council, La Grande, $10,000.
Ethos Music Center, Portland, $20,000.
Independent Publishing Resource Center, Portland, $10,000.
Lord Leebrick Theatre Company, Eugene, $22,500.
Museum of Contemporary Craft, Portland, $30,000.
Oregon East Symphony, Pendleton, $8,800.
Sitka Center for Art & Ecology, Otis, $30,000.
Southern Oregon Film Society, Ashland, $29,000.
Tears of Joy Theatre, Portland, $12,000.
Umpqua Valley Arts Association, Roseburg, $20,000.
Write Around Portland, Portland, $20,000.

Yay!

Poor Man's Conference #3

I’m sorry to report that I missed this morning’s plenary session of the Virtual Arts Advocacy Conference. I'm not sure whether it was last night's alcohol consumption or the tasering that stranded me in bed with a wicked headache this morning. But I’m getting ahead of myself and need to post my notes from yesterday afternoon’s sessions.

Day 1 Afternoon:

The afternoon sessions of our fictional arts conference were packed with lively discussions of timely issues and ideas. Here’s a sampling of the workshop choices conference attendees faced:

Twittering to Arts Sustainability: A guide to social networking in which participants learn to tell a compelling story in 140 characters or

Panic Management during a Recession: Exploring the creative dimensions of freaking out.

Show Me the Money: Participants will be presented with a list of grants that similar organizations have recently received. Opportunities to express resentments will follow.

Small is Better: A case study of how a chamber music quartet became a trio and discovered that they didn’t really miss the viola. Applicability to theater productions will be considered.

Building Audiences through Beer: Considering the role of alcohol in Fostering participation in the performing arts. [Sponsored by Fosters Beer].

The Safety Net and You: A hands-on workshop for artists and arts administrators who are considering novel approaches to securing food and shelter.

Words Matter: Saving the arts through creative sloganeering, catch phrases and talking points.

Enter the Scapegoat: How does an arts organization decide who gets thrown under the bus during a financial crisis?

I chose instead to attend a presentation by Benjamin Zander, conductor of the Boston Philharmonic. In a lecture that is equally entertaining and moving, Zander talks about finding the passion in classical music but his ideas can be applied to any art form. He uses a simple prelude by Chopin to illustrate his points and to create a small wedge into appreciation for classical music, making the case that classical music can be for everyone. The topic seems even more relevant after reading this morning's Oregonian article about the Oregon Symphony's grim financial condition. Although the video is twenty minutes long, I think it's worth the time. (You’re reading Culture Shock, so I know you don’t have anything better to do right now).



If that video is too long, perhaps this one will fit your attention span better (13 million viewers can't be wrong):



If this is your first time visiting, my earlier posts on the topic can be found here and here.

More serious posts on a real arts conference from Culture Jock, including his drive to Seattle can be found here, here and here.

For even more serious posts, visit the Americans for the Arts blogsite to which Culture Jock has also been posting during the real conference.

Back in the Saddle

Without a shred of guilt, I abandoned the blog and other responsibilities for a week of vacation. I don't know whether it was deserved or not, but I took it anyway. As I catch up with news from the local cultural front, it's like going back to school and finding everybody talking about their new best friends and all the great parties you missed.

First came the Drammy Awards. Culture Jock thoughtfully texted an update during the ceremonies, but it wasn't the same as being there. (I happened to be engrossed in a “House” marathon at the time. You'd be amazed at how many diseases cause bleeding from facial orifices). Faithful readers may recall that I made a few predictions a week before the award ceremony. Turns out I got a few right.

Am I prescient, or did my posts on Culture Shock affect the outcome? Might I be a “digital influencer?” I sure hope so, because Lincoln (of the Ford Lincolns) recently identified Dave Allen (and his Pampelmoose website) as such, loaning him a big red car in the hope that his digital influence would give the brand a hipster cachet. I’m not looking for a free car, but don't hesitate to send me books, CDs and tickets anytime you want. However, please DO NOT ask me to serve on the Drammy Committee because then I’d be forced to admit that I don’t really want to see that much theater in a single year.

Then came the Oregon Ballet Theatre’s “Dance United” benefit on Friday night. Those who were there have been swooning. Not only have I failed as an arts advocate by not attending, but I seem to have missed out on a memorable slice of Portland’s cultural history. Congratulations to OBT for pulling it off and for nearing its financial goals for the month. Special kudos to my colleague, Culture Jock, for writing his thorough synopses of the performances. I’ve also been reading Barry Johnson’s coverage at Portland Arts Watch, and am looking forward to Martha Ullman West’s expert review which will reportedly be out tomorrow.

I was also surprised to learn (again, via Culture Jock) of Jessica Jarratt’s appointment as Executive Director for the Cultural Advocacy Network (CAN). Just two days before I headed off for vacation, Jarratt helped facilitate a half-day retreat for the arts organization with which I’m associated. For the past year or so, she’s been lending us an independent perspective on fundraising strategies and serving as an able cheerleader. She’s personable and smart and her enthusiasm is infectious. She may not come from the arts community, but I doubt that will keep her from being a great leader for CAN--in fact, it might be an advantage. In a separate post, I’ll tell her what her priorities should be.

I know that what you really want to know is what I did on my summer vacation. Do you remember the 1994 Ang Lee film Eat Drink Man Woman? If you add the verbs “read” and “sleep” and the noun “dog,” then take away all the Chinese food and move it from Taipei to the Oregon coast, you’ll have a working title for my vacation. Did I do anything productive? Not really, but that’s not the purpose of vacations.

Before heading for the coast, I had a romantic vision that I’d spend time gazing out at the ocean while writing. This is how far I got: “I sit before a vast expanse of the sea-green Pacific as it stretches to the far eastern horizon smelling briny, like a large fishy ocean. The sunlight glints off the rippling surf while mighty whales frolic unseen amongst the plankton. How small are we before such vastness?”

Then I fixed another drink and opened a good book, one of three I finished at the coast. Inexplicably, all my reading choices involved the mysterious disappearance of children. (Last month, I happened to read three books in a row that were all ghost stories). Given the common theme, I thought I'd write a comprehensive review of all three. Now that it's Sunday afternoon and my remaining hours of vacation are dwindling, that seems like an awful lot of work. Until I get to that, here’s my reading list: “Polar” (T.R. Pearson); “In the Woods” (Tana French); and “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” (Stieg Larsson). The latter stands out thanks to its title character: A tattooed, pierced, uncommunicative, antisocial misfit who is also a brilliant investigator, computer hacker and nobody's passive victim.

Other cultural events of my week include finally seeing “Coraline,” which is playing in 3D at the Living Room Theatre. The concept of the venue is appealing: Watch a movie while supping on fine food. I ordered a Croque Monsieur (“Die, Mister” in French), which was served on a china plate with a green salad. It was a tasty meal, but awkward to eat without a table in front of me, and $9.00 for a grilled cheese and ham sandwich seemed steep no matter what you call it. Plus, no matter how comfortable the seating, you're still sitting in a movie theater with a few dozen strangers. The movie? I give it a B+.

The day we got home from the beach, we walked the two blocks from home to Pine State Biscuits for the first time. The tiny place was full, so we toted a pair of Reggie sandwiches home. The Reggie is a piece of fried chicken with bacon, cheese and gravy between two delicious biscuits. The chicken and gravy had a touch of peppery heat and the biscuits were perfect. The smiling sandwich in the picture below appears to be the Reggie Deluxe, which adds an egg to the mix. A heart attack in the making, but not a bad way to go--and not a bad way to be welcomed back to Portland.

Arts Community: Meet Jessica

As reported by DK Row this morning, the Creative Advocacy Network has hired Jessica Jarratt to lead us all in our quest for sustainable, dedicated funding for arts and culture (among other things, of course.) Most of the press release was actually picked up here, at Broadwayworld.com, if you want to check out her credentials and be reminded of what we're trying to accomplish.

Here she is, boys.



Welcome to the arts community, Jessica.

Update: DK Row's longer piece appears in this morning's newspaper (Monday, June 15) and is available online here.

Oregon Ballet: A Gadfly's View

I've been sitting on this post for three days for two reasons: (1) Not enough time to refine my thinking and edit the damn thing; and, (2) Reluctance to risk apostasy among my art advocate colleagues by raising uncomfortable questions. Here goes anyway.

If you've already read the Oregon Ballet Theater (OBT) story Barry Johnson broke on Portland Art Watch last week, you have my permission to skip this quick recap:

OBT has said that it must raise $750,000 by the end of June if it is going to keep its doors open. The company has fallen short of budget targets for the year. To blame are the snows of Christmas that buried sales to the Nutcracker and a precipitous drop in contributions. The drop in revenue has emptied the OBT coffers and left a long list of past due bills. Despite efforts to trim the budget midstream, the Ballet has come up short at the end of the year. More specifically, it appears that it has run out of cash, with no reserve funds and no access to a line of credit. Welcome to the Great Recession. I know OBT is not alone, locally or nationally (see Culture Jock's report from earlier this morning). By the way, this isn't just a nonprofit arts problem; this kind of cash crunch is also killing off plenty of for-profit businesses that would otherwise have sustainable business plans).

With Gandalf-like guidance from George Thorn, everybody's favorite arts consultant, OBT has reportedly pared its budget for the upcoming season by 28%, including trimming staff positions and pay, reducing the number of dancers, curtailing live music for most of its program, etc. That budget is conservative in its assumptions (theoretically) and, to use Portland's favorite word-of-the-moment, "sustainable." The problem is that OBT needs help to get from here to there. It needs a quick cash infusion to finish out this dismal year so it can start afresh in July. The call for help has been issued far and wide, so consider going here to give what you will.

When the Oregonian ran Barry Johnson's column on the front page of the print edition and the OregonLive home page, the story incited a flurry of nasty comments (134 to date) from the booboisie, including one from this paragon of reason: "In a town like Portland with so many strip clubs- why would ANYONE want to watch girls in leotards dance?"

Those opposed to doing anything for OBT mount several arguments: (1) Ballet is a dying, elitist art form with no value to the community; (2) Ballet bores me, so it should die; (3) The marketplace has rendered its judgment on the value of ballet; (4) OBT deserves to close because it has been grossly mismanaged by overpaid people; (5) Everybody is suffering in this recession so why should OBT catch a break? Clearly, we have a lot of education and advocacy to do.

Many strong counterarguments have been made in support of saving OBT. Rather than repeat those, I refer you to Jamey Hampton at BodyVox, Bob Hicks at Art Scatter, and Barry Johnson at Portland Art Watch. I also just listened to a compelling interview with OBT's Artistic Director, Christopher Stowell on a podcast from Metroscope PDX (Entercom).

Before going further, let me be perfectly clear in saying that I like OBT and think it deserves to live. However, there are a few questions I think need to be answered. The community is being asked to pony up to save the company, but have been given scant financial information upon which a reasoned (as opposed to an impassioned) decision can be made. In all the public reporting, very little has been explained about the company’s financial status, other than coupling the need for $750,000 with a threat of closing the doors. Here are the questions I think prospective donors should ask:

(1) What portion of the $750k is needed just to pay current bills?

(2) How much will be left to pay past due accounts?

(3) Will there be enough cash left to continue paying current bills until new cash starts to come in the door?

(4) Is there a middle ground? What if OBT manages to raise only half of the target?

(5) Would a bridge loan provide the infusion of capital OBT needs to get over this hump?

While OBT’s new budget may be conservative and balanced, cash does not typically flow in and out of an arts organization on an even schedule. Many count on spring subscription sales to provide the cash to keep afloat until the season gets underway in autumn and single ticket sales and contributions start flowing in. OBT's immediate problem appears to be a cash crisis, not a budget issue. Even if next year's budget is sound and sustainable, will the company have enough cash to pay the bills over the next few months?

If I were a major donor, I’d want answers to those questions before I invest in OBT's future by writing a big check. I presume that major donors are already asking these questions and getting honest answers from OBT. So what about everyone else? I posted my questions as a comment on Portland Art Watch, and Barry said he'd check with OBT for some answers. I'll let you know what comes back.

The more I think about this topic, I realize that OBT is just an example of a bigger issue. I'm more interested in questions of transparency, information sharing and the relationship between an organization and its public. I'm interested in hearing more honest dialogue, rather than spin.

I understand why nonprofits want and need to cultivate positive, confidence-building public images. Who wants to buy a subscription if you think the company might fold before you can use your tickets? Who wants to make a contribution if the money is just going to pay off creditors before the doors are shut anyway? It's hard to sell tickets and garner contributions when doubts about one's viability exist.

Of course, we can't be expected to air our dirty laundry all the time. But I keep hearing that in this age of instant communication and social networking we need to be ratchet up our transparency and information sharing. We have to cede some control over our image and our secrets, including being willing to show signs of weakness or failure. When you've declared that you are on the verge of closing the doors of an important institution, I think it's time to lay the books bare. On the other hand, maybe I'm just trying to satisfy my personal curiosity and satisfy a latent urge towards schadenfreude.

Would the loss of OBT diminish Portland? Yes.

Can OBT be saved? I don't know. I just don't know.

The Arts Win!

With the adoption of the FY10 budget just moments ago, Portland City Council approved a $4,325,300 allocation to the Regional Arts & Culture Council (RACC). That's actually an increase over FY09 (explained in a moment), which is an incredible accomplishment amidst a recession like this, made possible by a Mayor who has made the arts a priority, a City Council who thoroughly supported virtually every aspect of his proposed budget, and hundreds of artists and arts advocates whipped up by the Creative Advocacy Network to pack Council Chambers and participate in community budget forums, making a strong case for arts funding all the while. If you were part of that effort, then I personally applaud you.

The new funding, combined with the continued growth of Work for Art, will result in small increases in RACC grants to artists and arts organizations in FY10 -- a year when most city bureaus will be taking a 5% cut. The majority of the increase, however, is dedicated to expanding The Right Brain Initiative, advancing the regional "Act for Art" plan, and investing in the Creative Advocacy Network to deliver a regional, sustainable dedicated funding solution for arts and culture. One-time funding resources available to the City, which probably won't be available again next year, made it possible for them to invest in these opportunities.

We're batting 2 for 2 so far. Federal government: check. City government: check. State and county governments: stay tuned. Granted, we lost the Cultural Trust battle, and I'm not sure whether the war is over. We can anticipate a great big cut for the state arts commission in FY10, but let's see what the Governor and legislature does with arts funding for the next biennium before we call it for sure. The three counties in the region will be announcing their final budgets soon, and those may very well bring more GOOD news for the arts. Cross your fingers with me, won't you?

Third Thursday

The Thursday before Memorial Day was a busy one for RACC. We've been following up on Wednesday Night's open house at the John Ross Penthouse, where guests received a comprehensive progress report on The Right Brain Initiative. The grants and public art departments are busy as ever. And we've been putting the finishing touches on an aggressive campaign plan for Work for Art in 2009-10.


Carol R. Smith -- not the same as PPS Supe Carol Smith -- chairs The Right Brain Initiative and delivers here the Progress Report on the arts education activities that were performed in the spring of 2009.

At noon, I (along with co-Shockers Mighty Toy Cannon and CynSeattle) attended a meeting of the Cultural and Performing Arts Group, which Barry Johnson covers here.

At 5:00, I strolled down to Bar XV on SW Second and Ash where there was a light but enthusiastic turnout for the monthly Art Spark networking event, this time featuring Reid Decker of Portland Saturday Market. Reid showed some beautiful photos of the market's grand re-opening, now out from underneath the Burnside bridge and stretching its wings in Waterfront Park proper. Here, artists set up shop beneath a beautiful cantilevered canopy, and tap in to electricity, natural gas, and other amenities easily as they have been build into the infrastructure of the herringbone-patterned cobblestone ground.



Reid mentioned that the market's master plan, even back in the 1970s, had always called for locating here, which I did not know before, and artists spoke about the jury process, fees, and other pertinent info of presenting their work every Saturday and Sunday. Shout out to Shock reader and prolific blogger in his own right, TheBuzzByBrian.

After Reid's comments, and a margarita drink and a margarita pizza, I dashed over the Portland City Council Budget Hearing at Mt. Tabor Middle School, which was just getting underway by the time I arrived at 6:30. The Creative Advocacy Network had worked to pack the house, and many artists did show up (more than 20 by my count) albeit somewhat begrudgingly I suspect. I can't say I was looking forward to it either; it was a beautiful evening outside and by all indications this budget, which was proposed by Mayor Sam Adams last month and includes noteworthy increases in arts funding despite significant budget cutbacks in other government programs, is positioned to be approved by the City Council 5-zip. Thus, less urgency to spend a lovely evening listening to two hours of citizen testimony on every public program imaginable.

However. I must say. Those who attended heard some remarkably poignant remarks from about 50 citizens that night, each being given two minutes to say their piece. The arts had a strong showing, with great commentary from Jon Ulsh of OBT, Adienne Flagg of the IFCC, Sarah Dougher of p:ear, Olga Sanchez of Miracle Theater, and Cary Clarke of PDX Pop Now. Also in the house: fantastic advocates for Central City Concern, Outside In, and other community programs centered around affordable housing and retired citizens. Read more from The Oregonian.

At the evening, commissioners Leonard, Fritz and Fish each commented on the extraordinary feel-good tone of the evening. For these citizens to take the time to give their thoughts on the Mayor's proposed budget -- in most cases expressing their gratitude that the Mayor found a way to include the program they care about so passionately -- was actually somewhat life-affirming in a way. You know that Amanda Fritz has been to many-a hearing like this (formerly on the citizen side of the microphone) and she said she had never been part of such a well-run budget process with such compassionate and articulate citizen testimony. I must also credit Mayor Sam, who is really great with the public in these situations. He thanked each and every citizen for their time and passion, more like Potter in this regard than Katz ... she was a barking bulldog in these budget hearings of years ago. Yeah, some of the people rambled on long after the two-minute buzzer went off, and there were a few strange moments (what was the sassy thing that that ten-year old said to Council?) but it really was a great civics lesson and a true community event.

Clearly this budget, including the proposed funding increase for the arts, is SO going to be approved next week. It is a budget that reflects our values as a community, and the entire City Council and almost every citizen who participated in the process is pretty proud of it. What an amazing thing to have such a feel-good budget considering we're still the the throes of the worst recession since the Great Depression.

Trust Management

Congratulations to friend and colleague Kimberly Howard, who today becomes the new manager of the Oregon Cultural Trust.

Kimberly will certainly have her work cut out for her managing one of the country's most innovative public-private partnerships for supporting the arts. Visionary, yes, but the Trust has a complicated history rife with abandonment issues, it suffers from an identify crisis, and surely will be subjected to a variety of other growing pains in the next couple of years. The tax credit -- an essential mechanism for generating the contributions of the past -- is up for renewal in 2011, and there's that pesky little question about whether state legislators will ever return the $1.8 million they robbed from the trust earlier this spring. For the Trust to emerge as a serious game-changer in a dearth of statewide arts funding solutions, both of these issues will need to experience a successful conclusion.

That said, I have more confidence in Kimberly's abilities than many of her predecessors, who were either short-lived or ill-fitted for the task. First and foremost, she is of the local arts community and that's something that's been lacking of late. Kimberly is recognized as one of Oregon’s most promising young arts managers, and her work with Sojourn and the IFCC have helped provide both the arts experience and the business background that are called upon here. In fact, you can catch Kimberly on stage for several more weeks in the ART production of Distracted.

Kimberly a smart strategist, an articulate advocate and an all-around fun person -- and those three things can help you go a long way in this business. This has been a bumpy year for the Trust, and it's not going to turn around overnight, but let's see what Kimberly can do.

Quick Arts Funding Report

I just got back to the office after sitting with a packed house of arts advocates who gathered at City Hall to listen to the Regional Arts and Culture Council present its "2008 State of the Arts" report to the mayor and three commissioners (Dan Saltzman was missing). I don't have the time or the notes to report in detail, other than one tidbit of interesting news:

At the end of the presentation and public testimony, Commissioner Nick Fish spoke eloquently in support of the arts. He went on to ask the audience to support the Oregon Cultural Trust by continuing to fight, rather than passively accepting the taking of $1.8 million in funds generated by the license plate surcharge. (Of course, Nick Fish is passionate about this issue because he's a member of the Cultural Trust board). He then told the crowd that he was considering resigning from the Cultural Trust board in protest against the Legislature's action, and hinted that other board members were considering doing the same. He pressed the audience to write to Governor Kulongoski to urge him to not sweep the $1.8 million into the general fund. I'm not sure what the mechanism for that would be. I don't think he can veto one portion of the bill, but maybe?

I'm sure there will be lots more on this topic here and elsewhere shortly.

p.s. The RACC folks and public testifiers all did a nice job.

Oy! More on the Oregon Cultural Trust

Tuesday's episode of "Think Out Loud" on OPB Radio will cover the topic of arts funding, with the theft of Cultural Trust funds dangled as a teaser. The episode, which airs at 9:00 a.m. on 91.5 (as if our readers need to be told the frequency) is titled "The Art of Hard Times."

The OPB website does not give any hints about scheduled guests. I wonder if we'll hear from Doug Stamm at the Meyer Memorial Trust. In his Oregonian column this morning ("Who Took the Trust Out of the Cultural Trust"), Barry Johnson quotes Mr. Stamm's response to the Oregon legislature's move to purloin $1.8 million from the Cultural Trust. The Meyer Trust (the legacy of Fred Meyer) has supported the Oregon Cultural Trust with big grants to underwrite efforts to raise public awareness and encourage contributions. Stamm said he was "perplexed and frustrated" by the legislature's move:

The citizens of Oregon made specific contributions to a fund and now it's being moved to fix potholes and build prisons, which may be worthy but aren't what the money was for ... It breaks the bond of faith between the Cultural Trust and its contributors, through no fault of the trust, because of actions by the Legislature."

I believe the Meyer Trust is still the largest private foundation in Oregon, so it will be interesting to see what kind of clout it has on this topic, should its leaders choose to lean on our legislators. I'd call in to the show, but I'll be driving to Salem in the morning on a non-arts related task involving armed robbery (literally), on which I will report later. (How's that for a teaser)?

Also, our friends at the Regional Arts and Culture Council(RACC) and the new Creative Advocacy Network (CAN) are calling for arts advocates to show up at City Hall on Thursday, March 12, 2008 (2:00 to 3:00 pm) to lend moral support as RACC gives its “State of the Arts” presentation to City Council. I suspect the turnout will be high and folks will be pumped up -- one positive legacy of the Cultural Trust debacle.

Swept Away! ... ?

This afternoon, I received an e-mail message from my representative in the State Senate, Diane Rosenbaum, responding to my letter regarding the proposal to sweep Cultural Trust funds into the dustbin of Oregon's General Fund. Here it is:

Thank you for taking the time to write in support of the Oregon Cultural Trust, and for sharing your concerns about preserving funding for the arts in
this extremely difficult economy.

Like you, my family has contributed regularly to this program,and value the ability to augment contributions to Oregon's arts and cultural organizations through the matching tax credit and license plate programs.

Unfortunately, the legislature faces the horrendous task of finding resources for a huge and growing shortfall in the State's budget for education, human services and other vital public services. The need to balance the current budget with no additional revenue necessitated very difficult choices. I want to assure you that I am working hard to find new sources of revenue as we move forward to avert any further negative impacts on funding for the arts.

Again thank you for your thoughtful comments and passionate support for the Oregon Cultural Trust. Please feel free to contact me with any future concerns.

Sincerely,

Senator Diane Rosenbaum

Note that Senator Rosenbaum doesn't say what actually happened to the bill (SB 151), nor does she describe what she did about any of it. I'm keying in on the use of the past tense in the phrase "necessitated very difficult choices," and in the phrase "to avert any further negative impacts on funding for the arts." I appreciate her assurances, but am not reassured.

Perhaps her staffer wrote the response inartfully and the proposal is still kicking around the back rooms of the Capitol Building. I sure couldn't find any information by searching the net--not even on the websites for the Oregon Cultural Trust or for the Cultural Advocacy Coalition, the latter being the organization calling us all to action last week. If any of our readers have new information, please comment and fill the rest of us in.

Amendment: Because this is just batshit crazy.

Growing the Pie

As noted by Culture Jock on Friday, Americans for the Arts announced some good news at the end of last week: “The House of Representatives voted 246 to 183 to pass the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. The bill includes $50 million in direct support for arts jobs through the National Endowment for the Arts and language that would have prevented museums, theaters, and arts centers from receiving stimulus funds was removed.”

Here at Culture Shock, the knicker-twisting over federal arts funding left our knicker-covered parts raw. Nothing a little balm won’t soothe, but the chafing makes its presence known. Those of us toiling in the lettuce patches of culture were rightfully perturbed to have our work trivialized – as if we’re not doing “real jobs.” Next thing you know, some crazy politician will be claiming we’re not “real Americans!”

While the immediate question of $50 million worth of stimulation may be settled, we must continue to gird up our loins with the belt of truth in defense of art and arts funding. So let’s get back to the question of advocacy.

In a recent post, Culture Shock contributor, Cynseattle, pointed readers toward a Chicago Tribune opinion piece in which Chris Jones states, “Too little attention has been paid to making the long-term political case that culture is important and accessible to ordinary people and thus worthy of financial support.”

The case for culture’s contribution to social, economic and personal well-being is well documented and has been artfully argued. Our friend, Tim DuRoche, for example, recently wrote a compelling case for the economic value of the arts; more than a dry case statement, Tim transforms statistical abstractions into examples from real life. You can read Tim’s letter to Senator John McCain over here at Art Scatter.

Thus, we have this argument:

Whereas culture is important in many ways; and,
Whereas culture is not as elitist as you think;
Therefore: Culture is worthy of financial support.

Sure, we need to keep pressing the need-based and value-based arguments, but is the problem that we haven’t shouted our case loudly enough? Do we need to strop our dulled campaign slogans to a keener edge? Should we be investing in more billboards, or filling the airwaves with our adjurations? Refrigerator magnets?

Here’s what I think: Arts advocacy has fallen short because we keep pressing a case that many of our political adversaries aren’t quibbling about.

Many or most of our opponents will concede that arts and culture are good for us, individually and collectively. Believe it or not, some stalwart fiscal conservatives don’t sneer at culture and spit on artists; they go to the opera, wander museum galleries, and know their derrières from their arrières when attending the ballet. Some of them even sit on the boards of arts organizations and foundations that make generous grants in support of culture. They agree that the arts can contribute to building a citizenry comprised of wise and nimble team-players who are ready to innovate our way into the global economy.

BUT (and I like big buts), that’s not their issue. Their problem with arts funding is that they don’t believe that government has a role in supporting the arts. That argument is based in one or more of the following beliefs:

1) The limits of government responsibility do not encompass cultural affairs.

2) Art happens – it always has and it always will, even without government support.

3) Art needs support, but that’s what the private sector is for.

4) Government intervention will hurt or hinder the arts.

For many conservatives, you can replace the word “art” in the preceding list with education, health care, nutrition programs, or any of a long list of public goods; after all, the desire for limited government is a huge part of what defines a conservative. (Some of our readers will say that I left out “pure evil” as part of that definition, but I’m trying to seem rational).

In the arts world, we might argue about which makes the strongest case for culture: That the arts have inherent value, or that they have utilitarian benefits. Put another way, should we support the arts because the arts are: (1) inherently sweet and delicious; or (2) packed full of fortifying nutrition? We rarely make the case for why an investment in all that yummy goodness should be a function of government—local, state or federal.

Perhaps it is time to stop declaiming the goodness of art and pay more attention to making the case for why government should (or must) have a role in supporting it. And let’s be careful to avoid tautologies: e.g., “Government should support the arts because … well, just because that’s what the government should do.”

We should try to explicate the unique role government can play in the arts economy. What can government do for the arts that the private sector either can’t or won’t?

Part of the answer may be that we need government to invest in activities that produce public goods which the private sector either can’t or won’t support; for example, ensuring broad access to culture for citizens who would otherwise not be able to afford to participate. An analogy might be the federal government’s investment in public education or rural electrification.

Another part of the answer may involve bricks and mortar—investing in our cultural infrastructure. Similar to building roads, levees and schools, perhaps the public sector is the only one that can muster the capital needed to build the physical infrastructure needed for cultural activities that serve the public. The government may also be the only sector that is able or willing to assume the risks involved in big cultural construction projects. Portland Center Stage’s Armory project, for example, was made possible by loan guarantees and tax breaks from the public sector (though it’s a shame that our local, state and federal governments couldn’t just hand over cash for that urban asset). If Portland had a “shovel ready” performance venue in the works right now, might that be a better use of economic stimulus funding than doling out a little bit of extra grant money to lots of arts organizations this year?

One more unique government role could be to serve as an arts incubator; for example, project grants from our own Regional Arts and Culture Council are often the first grant funding that emerging artists and organizations are able to secure, thus helping to leverage giving from private donors. Another government role could be cultural diplomacy--something I think we'll be seeing more of under an Obama administration.

Perhaps our readers will jump in with other suggestions, or point us to folks who have already presented the case for government’s unique role in the arts. (Sorry to keep highlighting “unique,” but that’s the concept I’m looking for).

I’ll close with a radical thought that may be a kick to the hornet’s nest: What if we combined our request for MORE government funding with an agreement to NARROW how that funding will be used? For example, what if we stipulate that federal funds will be directed toward subsidizing the construction of cultural facilities (libraries, arts centers, performing arts venues) only? If the federales were to underwrite more of a building’s construction, arts organizations could focus on raising private money for operations or endowments rather than capital.

Or is it time to fight against any compromises?

Wow, way to show the love, Daddy!

Soprano's senator dad buries arts stimulus funding
February 10, 2009

Come November, Sarah Coburn, a rising soprano, is scheduled to sing her first L.A. Opera role in Handel's "Tamerlano," playing opposite Placido Domingo as the beleaguered daughter of a conquered Turkish potentate.

Culture Monster wonders whether any semblance of that tale's turbulence is stirring within Coburn's own family these days considering that her dad, Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.), has led the charge to keep federal economic stimulus money from landing in the pockets of artists such as, well, his daughter.

On Friday, the Senate voted 73-24 in favor of Coburn's amendment "to ensure that taxpayer money is not lost on wasteful and non-stimulative projects," such as funding museums, theaters and arts centers.

"It's been ... Sarah's longtime policy not to comment on her father's career," said Stuart Wolferman, a spokesman for her New York management company.

If arts partisans are tempted to cast Coburn père as a stereotypical Okie-from-Muskogee (indeed, that is his hometown) who hammers the arts out of ignorance, there's a bit of a complication: "The senator comes to the opera a lot," reports Mark Weinstein, executive director of Washington National Opera, which is sending its production of "Tamerlano" our way.

Reviewing "Tamerlano" in Washington last year, the Washington Post said that a lovers' duet Coburn sang with Patricia Bardon, a woman playing a male role, "was so lovely it stopped time."

Writing in the New Yorker about Sarah Coburn's performance last summer in Bellini's "I Capuleti e i Montecchi" at Glimmerglass Opera in Cooperstown, N.Y., Alex Ross described her as "a voice of particular radiance.... To the requisite loveliness of tone Coburn added ample breath control, pinpoint accuracy in coloratura passages, and innately musical phrasing."

-- Mike Boehm

Mea Culpa

I need to apologize to our readers, to artists and to all who support the inclusion of arts funding in the economic stimulus package. Like you, I’ve been reading about how the “batshit crazy” rightwing anti-culturalists have been maligning arts funding as non-stimulative pork. I was just as disappointed as you to learn that Senators Wyden and Merkley voted for a stimulus bill that included this egregious amendment from Senator Coburn:

None of the amounts appropriated or otherwise made available by this Act may be used for any casino or other gambling establishment, aquarium, zoo, golf course, swimming pool, stadium, community park, museum, theater, arts center, or highway beautification project, including renovation, remodeling, construction, salaries, furniture, zero-gravity chairs, big screen televisions, beautification, rotating pastel lights, and dry heat saunas.

I was dismayed to learn that a recent editorial in the National Review sarcastically opined that increased funding for the NEA would mean that "the unemployed can fill their days attending abstract-film festivals and sitar concerts."

Then it all started to sound vaguely familiar. I got a sinking feeling that I may have inadvertently contributed to the problem. A quick scan of my files brought the memory back and verified my complicity: Just last year I wrote a grant proposal to the NEA on behalf of a regional arts organization. (Professional ethics and common decency bar me from revealing the client's name). The proposal must have been leaked to the Republicans by a disgruntled grant panelist! Since the project is unlikely to be funded, I will share a synopsis of the proposal:

Describe the Project: [NAME REDACTED], Oregon’s leading collective of multidisciplinary dance, theater and abstract film artists, seeks NEA funding for a project through which it will engage the community in dialogue that will inform a co-creative process of examining, exploring and explicating the multidimensional intersections and interstices between consumer culture, Wall Street fraud and organized religion. The site-specific, time-based performative project will draw upon influences as diverse as Andres Serrano, Karen Finley and Robert Mapplethorpe. Seminal materials will be used. We mean urine.

The project’s artistic collaborators will construct a temporary public art installation on the eighteenth hole of the Bandon Springs Golf Resort. This site was selected to provide opportunities for broad-based cultural access to underserved rural communities. The installation will consist of two vitrines to be fabricated, in situ, by 48 glass artists using recycled wine bottles melted in massive anagama kilns. Each vitrine will measure 20’ x 20’ x 20’ (8,000 cubic feet) and will be filled with liquid.

The first vitrine will represent the primeval ocean from which all life evolved. It will be filled with sweat collected from 800 dance artists commissioned to perform an extended choreographic masterwork in a giant dry heat sauna to be constructed in the abandoned warehouses of Laika Studios. At risk youth from inner-city neighborhoods will be employed to scrape the sweat from the dancer’s bodies over the course of the 18-month dance performance.

Once the vitrine is filled with the salty fluid, hundreds of chinook salmon will be released into it. Their futile attempts to migrate and spawn will be accompanied by a techno-industrial score performed by a 32 piece sitar orchestra and four dozen unemployed construction workers with jackhammers. The salmon will then be slaughtered by marauding sea lions in a bloody orgy of classist oppression.

A live video feed will be sent by fiber optic cable to a state-of-the art Imax theater to be constructed at a remodeled Oregon Aquarium (Newport). Simultaneous video feeds will be sent to Spirit Mountain Casino (Grand Ronde) and Chinook Winds Casino (Lincoln City), where spectators will view the salmon slaughter on big screen televisions while placing bets on which fish will be the last to survive. To highlight the interconnectedness between the project sites, Highway 101 (Newport to Lincoln City) and Highway 18 (Lincoln City to Grand Ronde) will be beautified by a nighttime display of rotating pastel lights as well as abstract film.

The second vitrine will be filled with urine. Members of Portland’s burgeoning creative class will be invited to a three-day outdoor concert at which free PBR and Stumptown coffee will be served. Participants will then urinate into special holding tanks. (Many participants may choose to kiss each other while doing so). They will also be encouraged to ride bicycles to the concert site.

Once this vitrine is filled, a figure of Jesus Christ suspended in a zero-gravity chair will be smeared with dung and chocolate and submerged. The vitrine will be lit by more rotating pastel lights (or perhaps primary colors this time). The artistic co-creators will initiate intra-, extra- and inter-community dialoguing sessions to find, create and shape meaning.

The proposed project budget of $2.75 million will leverage an estimated $18.7 million in direct spending in the region, as well as an additional bunch of fiscal stimulus through the economic multiplier effect we’re always talking about. The project will create at least 1,500 family-wage jobs for artists, as well as employing construction workers and teenagers who would just as soon cut you. The long-term infrastructural improvements to roads, fiber optic networks, casinos and art centers (did we mention art centers?) are incalculable, but are sure to be sustainable. Letters of support from the big screen television, rotating light and zero-gravity chair industries are attached.