Sunday Splash Page #200

 

"Who's Dumping Skeletons in Heaven?," in Ghost Rider: Heaven's on Fire #6, by Jason Aaron (writer), Roland Boschi (artist), Dan Brown and Lee Loughridge (color artists), Joe Caramagna (letterer)

Jason Aaron's run on the monthly Ghost Rider title (and that volume itself) ended with Johnny Blaze, Dan Ketch and the new Caretaker resolving that they would find a way to reach Heaven and stop Zadkiel's plan of conquering Heaven via the power of the Ghost Riders. The actual attempt is what this mini-series covers.

Aaron pulls out even more stuff. The gun nuns that I mentioned last week, but Damian Hellstrom gets involved, as well as an ex-girlfriend of his. No, not Patsy Walker. Jaine Cutter, who describes herself as an 'occult terrorist.' Man I don't want to know what Jason Aaron would do to Patsy Walker if he used her in this story. The Anti-Christ is involved (a snotty little kid working on Wall Street), because Zadkiel wants to kill him and avert the Apocalypse. Doctor friggin' Pandemonium shows up, as a pathetic loser whose demon hands torment him constantly.

I don't really understand how the conclusion works. Dan and Johnny somehow call up all the past Ghost Riders to attack Zadkiel, on the grounds that the power was never his to control, because God created the Ghost Riders. OK, but Danny had been attacking and stealing the power of Ghost Riders for a while for Zadkiel, who used it to grow strong enough to breach the gates of Heaven and assume control. So what's the difference? 

Anyway, suffice it to say they win, though Johnny does not get to be reunited with his wife and children in Heaven, so he still gets a bit screwed. God's a swell guy, if you grade on a generous curve. Sara gets to face the man who killed all the women in the convent she grew up in, and make the choice not to take his life. The Orb, somehow, doesn't die. Presumably no one figured he was worth killing.

After this wrapped up there were a couple of years with no Ghost Rider books, then a brief series with a lady Ghost Rider written by Rob Williams, and then a few years after that, Robbie Reyes showed up. He and Blaze seem to be sharing the role in the comics (or Blaze is King of Hell or something), and Alejandra joined Dan Ketch as the Riders nobody talks about.

Sunday Splash Page #199

 

"Ghost Mutilating," in Ghost Rider (vol. 4) #22, by Jason Aaron (writer), Roland Boschi (artist), Dan Brown (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer)

I actually bought this volume of Ghost Rider when it first started in 2006, but it was written by Daniel Way so I jumped ship after three issues. (That was strike 2 for Way with me, his Deadpool run was ultimately strike 3.) Way's story was that Johnny Blaze escaped from Hell, but as a result, so had the Devil, split into 666 different beings. Blaze was running around trying to kill each body, although that meant they were coalescing into fewer bodies, growing stronger all the time.

Somewhere in there, Blaze found out the Spirit of Vengeance was actual Heaven's creation, not Hell. That his state of affairs was actually the responsibility of an angel named Zadkiel. Aaron's 16-issue run (plus a 6-issue mini-series we'll look at next week) was all about that. Blaze trying to find a way to Heaven to kick Zadkiel's ass. Zadkiel, naturally, has other ideas. 

Aaron pulled out a bunch of old Ghost Rider enemies, of both Blaze and Danny Ketch, and threw in Ketch and even a brief appearance by Michael Badilino, the cop that was Vengeance for a while in the '90s. Plus a few things that feel like they were pulled from old grindhouse movies. A hospital full of warrior nurses, devoted to Zadkiel. A coroner that's also a cannibal. A vengeance-obsessed cop with a hook for a hand.

The biggest thing Aaron added to the Ghost Rider mythos was expanding on all the other Ghost Riders, more or less like what Brubaker and Fraction did with Iron Fist. Johnny and Dan stuck to the United States. While we are a country full of people who need to feel some pain for the hurt they've caused, we aren't the only country, and it isn't just something that started up twenty years ago or however long we're saying Johnny first got tapped.

Roland Boschi drew the first four issues, which involve the nurses, the cannibal, and a cursed stretch of highway, and Tony Moore the last three, which concern the two Riders and the new Caretaker trying to get their heads on straight to keep fighting. In between, issues 24-32 is by Tan Eng Huat. I prefer Boschi's work. His Ghost Rider is huge, dark shape on a frankly ridiculous bike. The fire around his head is an angry, sparking thing, like a trash fire or a miniature explosion. Huat's version, the fire is prettier looking, the individual flames rendered flickering around the skull, and the bike is just a regular bike that has flaming wheels. Which is the standard look, but not nearly as cool looking

Tonight They Race In Outer Space. Or Fight. Whichever.

I normally don't bother with Marvel or DC when it comes to these hypothetical teams because there's a chance whatever five characters I pick from either universe, they're probably going to have worked together at some point. But what the hell, the post office has bounced my comics shipment all over the damn state for the last three days.

So for this one, I tried to pick characters I like or at least find interesting, but aren't what I'd necessarily classify as favorites. I may pick the character from a particular point in their history, but that's probably just a sign of what status quo I'm most familiar with.

The Leader: Monica Rambeau (Photon) - I'm not sure what codename Monica's rolling with these days, but "Photon" isn't bad, and I always thought it was nuts she gave back the "Captain Marvel" name to Mar-Vell's stupid, whiny son, then the kid changes his codename to Photon after she'd already taken that.

Anyway, bare minimum this is Monica from some point post-NextWave. Monica's done good work as a leader prior to that, but it felt like she was reluctant to take command. This group, in its own way, could be as difficult to handle as Machine Man, Boom-Boom, and The Captain were. It would help to have a Monica that has already managed to deal with that trio's nonsense. She needs to be able to project confidence, both in herself and their mission, despite any challenges.

Although hopefully we're far enough past NextWave she's eased back off the throttle a bit, because she was pretty angry and bloodthirsty at times in that book. I'm not sure that's going to play well with some members of this team.

Monica is actually also the real powerhouse of the team in a broad sense. The others have specialties where they might exceed her, but overall, she's the one most likely to be able to fight an entire alien army. If, you know, that's a thing that they need to do at some point.

The Rogue: Hank Pym - If we're picking a specific era, I'm going with West Coast Avengers cargo suit Hank Pym. The "scientist adventurer." I've always felt that's really the identity that suits him best, because it focuses more on him using his intelligence and aptitude for making thing. As opposed to growing 40 feet tall and punching people. Honestly, the growing thing always feels like him trying to compensate in the most obvious way possible. And there's never been any indication Hank's a particularly gifted hand-to-hand fighter, so he probably ought to shy away from a powerset that encourages it.

Still, it's Hank Pym, he's always walking a knife edge. He was moments away from killing himself before Firebird stopped him and helped devise the "scientist adventurer" approach. I'm not going to pretend all that doubt, guilt, and insecurity just vanished because he decided to take a different approach to being a hero. Even if this is the type of hero I think suits him best, he's still going to want to prove himself. I think he'll be a team player, but there aren't any other scientists on this crew. Is he going to put a lot of pressure on himself to figure out the solutions to all their problems? Even if it's an area outside his expertise?

Something goes wrong, he makes a miscalculation, there comes a point where it looks like maybe they could have used a giant guy, is he going to fall apart? Is the rest of the team going to wake up the next morning and here's Yellowjacket, talking shit and challenging Monica's decisions? Which might be the most important reason for Monica to be more mellow than she was in NextWave. NextWave Monica will probably just cook Yellowjacket if he doesn't shut his trap.

The Muscle: Mantis - Mantis circa Abnett/Lanning's Guardians of the Galaxy might not be her at her most powerful. In Engelhart's Silver Surfer run she could literally travel across interstellar distances, as long as there was plant life on the next world for her to use to basically regrow a body. Still, DnA Mantis had telepathy, limited precognition, pyrokinesis, and still had some ability to stimulate plant growth. Plus, you know, kickass martial arts skills. Maybe she can teach Hank Pym how to throw a punch. Or maybe not. Don't want to encourage him to start thinking with his fists again.

Mantis is, most of the time, a fairly placid character. Probably because she has at least a vague sense of how things are going to turn out (or because she's spent time seeing things from a more cosmic level). She rarely shares that information with her teammates, and may not even tell them she has that ability. From their perspective she can look like a bit of a "space case." Looking at things they can't see. Monica's going to have to find some way to get Mantis to communicate important information without having to be pressed for it.

At the same time, she can be very empathetic and caring. She was able to put up with the Silver Surfer and his whinging, even managed to tease him out of it at times. She could put up with Star-Lord's self-pity, Drax and Gamora's less-than-pleasant personalities, Bug's constant inappropriate comments. With the latter three, she tended to let any of it directed towards her just wash over her with no outward reaction. A blade of grass swaying in the wind. With Quill, she gave him a kick in the pants from time to time as needed.  Still, her capacity to just listen and let people get stuff out could come in very handy.

If that's all she does, because she also gave members of the Guardians a slight mental nudge to get them to join, at Quill's request, which is a little troubling. If she tries to "nudge" Pym, there's no telling what that'll do to either of them, and there's at least one character on this team that will probably kill her if she tries it on them. OK, one character beside Monica.

The Lady of Mystery: Longshot - With Longshot the mystery may be how recently his mind has been wiped. If it has been, who wiped it (it can't always be Mojo and Spiral)? And was anything really important lost in the process? Depending on how Mantis has been acting, and how oddly she behaves around the others, this could be a source of tension if suspicion falls on her. If Pym has doubts about her, or hears someone else on the team voice doubts, then makes a screw-up, does he try to pin the blame on her? That's she undermining him for some purpose?

That said, Longshot is (usually) a cheery ray of sunshine, even when his memories are missing. So excited and curious about every new thing he's getting to experience. His innocence is going to provide a distinct counterpoint to the next team member, but it could also be an issue. His luck power requires pure motives to work properly, and I wonder if that's going to limit him if he doesn't entirely grasp what's going on around him, due to memory loss. If he has to take the others' word for it on what they're doing and why, or if he acts out of trust in them, but that turns out to be a mistake. Their motives aren't considered "pure" even if his desire to help them is. Longshot's definition of what's OK might be (almost certainly is) very different from the rest of the team. Does that cause a backfire?

I don't think Longshot ever got to go on any of the X-Men's outer space adventures (and this would have to be in outer space, at least part of the time). It's time for adorable mullet baby's first outer space trip! Given his luck and agility, he ought to be a natural at zero-gravity fighting, which will come in handy at some point. Also, he kind of has a reputation for being very attractive, and I have absolutely no idea which member of this team would fall for him. Honestly, I can't see it being any of them, but maybe someone would surprise me.

The Guy with a Boat: Ghost Rider - The image is of Johnny Blaze, but it can be Robbie Reyes or Dan Ketch, or that one lady who was Ghost Rider for 5 seconds 10 years ago. Johnny and Robbie probably have the most experience on teams at this point, depending on whether you want them to be used to working with others, or not.

Look, it's most likely that Pym is going to provide a spacecraft (unless they steal or commandeer one from somebody), but you can't pass up the opportunity to put Johnny/Robbie at the controls so the ship bursts into flames and takes on a demonic visage. I figured that was 90% of the point behind Cosmic Ghost Rider, but he just rides some spacebike with one of those spheres you touch that makes your hair stand on end for a front tire.

The Rider gives them at least some mystical aspect, even if they're not much in terms of spellcasting. Some potential defense or offense of a supernatural nature is better than none, right? They might even meet some other planet's Spirit of Vengeance. Depending on circumstances, could be friend, could be foe. Say they're dealing with the Kree, and it's Kree-Lar's Ghost Rider trying to avenge its people (even though the Kree probably started it). The Rider's actually the physically strongest member of the team, assuming Pym doesn't do the Giant-Man thing at some point. That should come in handy.

The question is how well he's going to work with the rest of the team. Not just in the sense Johnny or Robbie might go tearing off after some soul they sense needs to be punished, even if it involves tearing through the side of their spaceship. But will the Rider be able to control himself from taking vengeance on his teammates if he's stuck in close proximity to them for a long period of time? Pym's got a lot of dirty laundry in his closet (how much responsibility does he bear for Ultron's actions?) If Mantis does start acting in a questionable manner, well, plants have a tendency to burn, and I'm not sure how susceptible the Rider is to mental attacks.

Which makes Ghost Rider sound like he should have been the Rogue, and I did consider it, but I feel like you know what you're dealing with when it comes to him. You just have to be on your toes, and careful about what you do. Whereas with Hank Pym, he may make it through A-OK. He does go long stretches where he functions perfectly well. But when/if he does fall apart, you don't know which direction he's going to go. If he's going to go the Giant-Man route, or become a real abrasive force on the team in Yellowjacket, or just fall apart entirely. The potential outcomes are more varied.

How Much Guilt Is Doom Capable Of Feeling?

Random comic-related hypothetical for the day: Would Dr. Doom be affected by Ghost Rider's Penance Stare?

(Setting aside the obvious answer of, "yes if the plot requires it.")

The Penance Stare inflicts upon the victim's soul all the suffering and anguish they have caused others. Which means it's proven ineffective against people who don't have souls. As far as I know, Doom still has his. I can't picture him being so desperate or foolish as to barter it to Mephisto or whoever. He'd figure he could deal with whatever problem he faced, so no need to resort to such measures.

But the Stare has also proven ineffective if the person you use it on doesn't feel any regret for their past actions. In the one example of that I've seen, it was because the guy believed all the pain he'd inflicted was for a righteous cause - punishing sinners - and so their suffering meant nothing to him. Which suggests Frank Castle would also be immune, but that's for another day.

So given that, it boils down to whether Doom has regrets over his past actions, and whether it's enough to drive him to his knees*. Offhand, I think Doom would certainly fall into the category of someone who believes all his actions are just. But he's also capable of feeling pain and sorrow, in his own melodramatic way. So I think it would hurt him, if it was the suffering of people harmed by his failures.

The times Doom challenged someone by himself because he was certain he could win, but he blew it, and others paid the price. The times his plans backfired and brought more trouble than he expected. Not because I think Doom cares all that much about the ones hurt as people, but it reflects poorly on him. Tarnishes that self-image he tries to project of his infallibility. Doom could deny the pain of people he chose to harm as having brought it on themselves for challenging him, but the pain of those hurt because he wasn't up to the challenge might be a different matter.

* The Doom that played at being Iron Man a couple of years ago definitely does, and barring him using some spell to protect himself, would absolutely be vulnerable.

Throw Something A Little Crazy At The Defenders in Season 2

TNT's been showing Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance occasionally in recent weeks. It's still an interesting mess of a movie. Some parts are crazy fun, just embrace the absurdity of a demon stunt biker with a flaming skull, and other parts are just dull or a mess (most of these are the parts when Nicholas Cage's head isn't on fire).

I enjoy how odd the Rider acts. The odd swaying, the gestures, the unpredictability. Looking at it from the outside, you're left wondering (like the people around him) what the hell is going on. It plays up the idea this something not human, reacts and thinks and moves differently from us. To the extent Johnny's still an active presence in there at all, hell he's half-crazy from dealing with this thing, which doesn't help matter. Dude with a flaming skull for a head who appears unaffected by bullets is strange enough without him acting so weird. It would have to be unnerving to encounter.

With that in mind, I'd like it, assuming Marvel does a second season of Defenders, if Ghost Rider could show up. He can be a threat, an ally, first one then the other, total wild card, whatever. I'm not sure what brings him to town. I'd like it to be something specific, rather than a general "there's a lot of sinners to take vengeance on" approach. That risks veering too close to Matt's struggles with the Punisher in Season 2 of Daredevil. That can be a side angle, a swath the Rider is cutting through town as he pursues his primary goal, and what gets some members of the team involved. I could see Iron Fist jumping at investigating reports of a guy with a flaming skull. Maybe Daredevil, if he gets out of that convent. Luke and Jessica, probably not.

Mephisto might be a bit out of this group's weight class. Maybe something related to the Book of the Darkhold? Or bring the Hood in, as an initially small-timer moving up with strange powers. He's being used by some darker force in exchange for power, not that he knows he's a pawn necessarily. Not a guy who made a deal with the Devil like Johnny, but maybe not too far off. . .

I think of the Defenders as a group that deals with weird shit, even by superhero comic standards. Usually due to proximity to Dr. Strange, but even when he isn't around, they encounter some bizarre things. Luke and Jessica seemed so reluctant to believe in immortal ninjas, dragons, and people coming back from the dead, it'd be fun to watch them try to wrap their heads around this. Think about how many times Jessica can roll her eyes in aggravation about how stupid this is! Or see Danny run out in the street and try to stop the Rider with one punch (maybe if Luke's behind him helping to brace him he won't end up a smear on the road). Let good Catholic boy Matt Murdock meet an actual demon (or fallen angel, whatever).

I think they had the Robbie Reyes Ghost Rider on Agents of SHIELD. I don't know how that played out, or how he was presented, so I don't know if that would give me what I'm looking for. If it would, sure go with Robbie. Although it's probably easier to drive a motorcycle around New York than a car, even a really awesome car with flaming tires.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

I can't believe I didn't have a "ghost rider" tag prior to this. I briefly mentioned watching this two weeks ago, but I thought I could go a little more in-depth.

Not that I really need to. If you've read a review that cited Nic Cage as the weakest part of the film, then that pretty well covers it. The parts with the Rider were entertaining. I didn't understand some of it's mannerisms, but I like the dickish attitude it takes. It enjoys terrorizing these people before it kills them, and mocking their attempts to stop it. And like many others, I could have watched the Rider transform different vehicles to suit its purpose all day. Ghost Rider in a bumper car! Ghost Rider on a lawnmower. Ghost Rider in a fighter jet!

I thought everyone else did a good job, even if they weren't necessarily given much to work with. I don't know a lot about Moreau other than he likes to drink and he's a religious man willing to kill. but Idris Elba made me care about him.

Violante Placido as Nadya is kind of a mid-stage Sarah Conner. She's not the badass we saw in Terminator 2, but she knows a few things, and she has resolve. She's made mistakes, but she's determined not to let Danny pay for them. She doesn't want to trust other people - with good reason since it backfires pretty consistently - but she's willing to try for Danny.

Johnny Whitworth plays Carrigan as a completely unlikable, sleazy, asshole, with a very punchable face. Which makes him a good villain for this. I want to see the Rider mess him up. I love it when Ghost Rider throws his 'Did that hurt? It looks like it did.' back in his face. In a lot of ways, Carrigan feels more like the main bad guy than Roarke. Roarke's the boss, but he's so limited in what he can do he spends a lot of time just running. It might have helped if, at the end, he'd decided to hell with it and tried to destroy the Rider. He'd already missed his chance to transfer into Danny, he might as well see if he can remove the Rider as a future impediment to his plans. That body wasn't going to last much longer, anyway.

But Nicolas Cage, oh dear. He's so twitchy, and his delivery is so strange. It kind of worked in that scene where he intimidated that buddy of Carrigan's, yelling about eating his soul and all, but mostly, it doesn't. It just looks awkward and silly, and not in a way that fits with the rest of the film. I preferred the first glimpse we got of him, passed out on that table, a burnout case drinking himself into oblivion. A guy trying to keep the demon down by keeping himself sedated, basically. Instead he played Blaze like he was Tweek from South Park.

Other observations:

- Did Carrigan in his new form have to be careful when he went to the bathroom? Or was Roarke smart enough to have the decay touch not affect Carrigan himself? I thought it was funny when he was trying to eat, the food kept decaying first, and I said to myself, 'Try a Twinkie.' Next thing he tries? A Twinkie. Though he kept the plastic wrapping around it and squeezed it into his mouth. I was hoping he'd touch it and it simply wouldn't decay.

- I like that the Devil makes sure to include the little sticker on his contracts indicating where to sign. That's exactly the kind of little touch I'd expect from the guys who brought us the Crank movies. That and those parts where Johnny narrates his backstory over those sort of animated scenes.

- I love that odd sound that precedes the Rider. I think it's supposed to be his laugh, but it's this strange, sort of strobing whirring sound. I can't describe it, obviously, can't even begin to guess how to write it out so it would make sense. But that's what makes it work. I can't imagine where you'd hear that noise otherwise, and that plays up the unearthly aspect of the Rider.

- Right as the final chase scene starts up, the Rider comes out heading to his bike. I thought he was walking a little funny, like his leather pants were too tight. Then I wondered how his pants could be too tight. He's a skeleton. He should have no ass whatsoever.

- I didn't realize Anthony Stewart Head was in this. For about three minutes, but still. We had Heimdall, Rupert Giles, and the Highlander/Raiden in a Ghost Rider movie. It probably would have been a much better movie if Blaze had been the Rider for say 90% of the film, and just let those guys do most of the talking that isn't going to Nadya. Johnny can appear occasionally to be confused and tired.

So there you go. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. Not bad, except for the lead actor.