Saturday Splash Page #142

 

"Night Creatures," in Spider-Man and Batman: Disordered Minds, by J.M. DeMatteis (writer), Mark Bagley (penciler), Scott Hanna and Mark Farmer (inker), Electric Crayon (colorist), Richard Starkings and Comicraft (letterer)

The first of two Spider-Man and Batman team-ups in the '90s. DeMatteis uses the hot new villain of the moment, Carnage, as the entry point, as a scientist who feels regular psychiatric treatment is futile with such people swears she's got a chip that can be installed in a person's brain to render them docile and conflict-averse. Cletus Kasady is the first, and the Joker's going to be the second. While it works on the Joker, the doctor neglects to account for the fact that Carnage is a team-up, and her chip doesn't do snot to the symbiote, and Kasady was simply eager to meet the Joker.

The story follows the basic beats. There's a brief initial team-up when things go wrong, but the villains escape. Batman, in his full 90s/2000s jerkass glory, then tells Spider-Man to leave, because Gotham has 'unique dangers', and he doesn't want Spider-Man getting hurt.

'90s Calvin rolled his eyes at the notion Spider-Man was in any danger from Batman's villains. Most of Batsy's enemies are roughly equivalent to Mysterio, and Spidey beats him all the time!

Whatever. Spider-Man doesn't leave, Batman reconsiders, they team-up, find the bad guys and save the day. DeMatteis doesn't try to put over the new guy as being better than the more established villain. He does outline the differences in the Carnage and the Joker. Carnage claims the Joker understands that life is absurd and meaningless, so insanity's the only proper response. From the Joker's, "Oh. . .that joke," I think we're meant to take he's already mentally downgrading his opinion of this guy. Later, Carnage loses patience with some elaborate scheme the Joker's got and starts ranting about how the point is to kill immediately, which the Joker dismisses as lacking style. DeMatteis doesn't pretend the Joker is above killing, only that he insists there be an art to it. It's like the difference between someone who sculpts hedges into animal shapes, and someone just hacking away with a weed-whacker.

DeMatteis' attempts to interject the sort of pop psychology stuff that littered his Spectacular Spider-Man run are intermittently successful. Suggesting Kasady is a serial killer because he's actually afraid of death, and kills in some bizarre hope it will somehow appease death into sparing him feels like a stretch. He presents each villain as becoming like an avatar of what the other hero fights against, starting with dream sequences where the killers of their respective parents shift to mimicking the villains. So Uncle Ben's killer sports a Joker smile, and Joe Chill transforms to Carnage's jagged tooth leer.

(I also randomly note that Bruce Wayne apparently sleeps in the nude, while Peter wears pajama pants.)

I don't know if it works. Maybe Carnage with Batman, as Kasady's whole thing is just to kill randomly, without pattern or meaning beyond the taking of life. That could be the sort of unthinking, unpredictable Crime that Batman fights but can never extinguish. (Having Carnage not particularly care about killing Batman beyond him being another body to stack on the pile is a nice touch.) But the Waynes weren't really killed randomly. It was either a mugging gone wrong or a revenge hit disguised as a mugging gone wrong, depending on which version they're using. But I guess from a child's perspective - and Dematteis was always writing about how childhood trauma infected one's adulthood - it all feels random, without cause or reason.

The Joker for Spider-Man, though, no. You can't spend a few pages having the Joker extol the virtues of elaborate plans and set-ups for his schemes, then compare him to a burglary gone wrong. DeMatteis tries to save it by having the Joker threaten to release a virus that will kill the entire city of Kasady doesn't release Batman, because no one gets to kill him but Joker, as 'the kind of madness, the kind of chaos,' Spider-Man always been fighting to prevent. Except that's not really what he fights. He fights guys who think the world owed them something, so when they get power, they decide to take what they think the deserve. Power without responsibility. Not really the Joker's shtick at all.

Guess with 48 pages, you do what you can.

I think this is Bagley's first time drawing DC characters. We don't see a lot of Gotham, or any established characters besides Batman, Joker and one page with Alfred, but he keeps everybody on-model. Joker's extremely tall and skinny (looks a head taller than Spider-Man), but I know Alan Davis among others drew the clown that way, too, so it's not unusual. He goes with a version of the Batmobile I associate with early Batman stories, with the big Bat face/shield thing over the front, rather than one of the sleek, sports car/jet plane models I thought were more common at the time. Don't know if there was a reason for that.

The Batman (2022)

A Batman movie all about how bad Batman is at accomplishing anything is certainly a choice. Whether that's a Batman movie you want to see. . .

He admits early on that, two years in, the occurrences of all sorts of violent crime are actually up. Of the Riddler's targets who are involved in the corruption of the "Renewal" project, the only one he fails to kill is Bruce Wayne, and that's not down to some brilliant bit of awareness on Bats' part. It's because Alfred opens all his mail for him. Batman doesn't even realize the Riddler's larger plan for the city until it's too late. The new mayor is shot, though not killed, but again, that's down to Gordon, not Batman.

This is a movie where the Riddler shakes his head slowly and remarks, "You're not as smart as I thought," and he's absolutely right. In the battle of wits between these two, Batman is the equivalent of a man walking into an arena with a rubber band, to fight a guy in a tank. Like, how the fuck does it take them so long to figure out, "rat with wings" might refer to a bat, especially when the Riddler keeps leaving envelopes addressed To Batman?

Which yes, is the point. Robert Pattinson plays Wayne as a recluse who pays no attention to the state of the city, the Wayne Foundation, anything except "vengeance." To the point people refer to him as that roughly as often as they call him Batman. He takes a real, "the beatings will continue until morale improves," approach to being Batman and surprise! It doesn't work. At all. He has to learn to be a positive symbol, rather than a terrifying one. Symbolized by his using a flare to lead people out of the flooded stadium, which presumably also signals Bruce Wayne becoming involved in the affairs of the city.

I was thinking, if Affleck's Batman is Dark Knight Returns Batman, broken, bitter and angry at his failures, Pattinson's is All-Star Batman, aka "The Goddamned Batman", aka Tryhard Batman. The muscle car that looks really cool, but doesn't work that well. The eye black he wears because. . .I don't know. It's not like people can't tell he's a white guy from his jawline. His tendency to just, get shot, because the suit has body armor. Think about Batman Begins, or Burton's Batman. All the scenes of Batman using the shadows or smoke to slip about unseen and take out armed goons before they get off a single shot. Pattinson's Batman can be in a lit corridor and he'll just walk through, let guys shoot him while he punches them.

If you wanted to look at it another way, someone - I think Tegan O'Neil - pointed out once that Joel Schumacher's Bruce Wayne was one who tried to address his trauma. He actually goes to see a therapist in Batman Forever and to become a parental figure to another orphan. By Batman and Robin, he's maybe in a mostly healthy headspace, with a family of sorts, but has to deal with the impending loss of another parental figure. So Matt Reeves/Robert Pattinson's Batman is the guy that's barely begun any kind of journey of healing. He's just pissed and taking it out on everyone. He sees everything in black and white, with no grasp that people will commit crimes if that's the only way to survive.

So, you know, it does what it seems to want to do pretty well. Most of the other actors are fine, although I don't really see the chemistry between Pattinson and Kravitz. Mostly because Pattinson plays Batman as alternately either so awkward or so judgmental I'm not sure how she could stand him. If I hadn't heard that Colin Farrell was Oswald Cobblepot, I would never have guessed it. Again, he's fine. Nothing particularly spectacular, but I didn't feel like the movie gave him much to work with. Dano's fine as the Riddler. They're all fine, I guess.

Batman (1989)

I reviewed Batman Returns a few months back, so I figured I should go ahead and watch the first Tim Burton Batman flick.

First things first: Having Jack Napier be the one who killed the Waynes is still stupid. "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" is also pretty dumb. I can almost excuse that with the argument it shows Jack was already kind of messed up long before he became the Joker, or even long before he became a major hitter for Carl Grissom. That's the best I can do, that it establishes that the chemicals may have loosened what few inhibitions he had left, but he was a dangerous fellow already.

Incidentally, I like that Jack Palance is in this, if only for a couple of scenes. I remembered that, unlike somehow forgetting Christopher Walken was a major part of Batman Returns.

Beyond that, I like Nicholson's Joker. He laughs like he thinks things are actually funny, for one. Cesar Romero had that, Mark Hamill's got that, Heath Ledger didn't (presumably because Christopher Nolan didn't want that), I honestly can't remember if Jared Leto laughed. He was too busy laying on the floor of a hotel room surrounded by knives.

Beyond that, the Joker has charisma, somehow, and Napier has that even before the chemicals. Bob is loyal to him, not Grissom, and is immediately there to pull a gun on the bent cop or Commissioner Gordon. Burton doesn't run away from giving the Joker killer joy buzzers or acid squirting flowers. It seems silly, but it's still deadly. That's the point. The Joker deciding to go on his Smylex killing spree - complete with ludicrous commercial/threat - in part because he killed all the other mob bosses in broad daylight, including killing one with a quill pen, and still the news will only talk about Batman, felt perfect. He's indignant about it.

This Joker is dangerous, but he isn't some clown that read about nihilism in his first semester philosophy class and thought he was the first one to ever have the notion that life is meaningless. Nicholson's Joker has the showmanship and the willingness to run up a body count, but it's in service of his ego. His obsession with Vicki Vale, the whole spiel in the museum about how he's going to be the world's first homicidal artist, the huge parade where he throws out 20 million dollars just to try and gas a bunch of people to death. The one part that doesn't fit is the Joker wearing makeup to mask his chalk-white skin, but I assume that was a concession to Nicholson not wanting to have to go through that all the time.

OK, so that's five paragraphs about the villain. Michael Keaton's playing Wayne as this endearingly awkward sort of guy. Not the smooth playboy, but someone that has been mostly alone, save his butler/surrogate father, and it shows in his interactions with other people. He's not cruel, but he doesn't always know what to say. Such as the scene where he tries to tell Vicki he's Batman, before Joker comes barging into her apartment. (Also love Joker has a henchman specifically to carry a large boombox around and play whatever music the scene requires.)

Keaton's Batman is very efficient in his actions. He doesn't dart around through shadows or do a bunch of martial arts. No dramatic postures when he throws down a smoke bomb. Just throws it at the ground, waits for it to swallow him up. The "wonderful toys" do a lot of the work. He fights the guy with the two swords and doesn't move his arms or legs much to block the attacks, and the two attacks he lands are a simple jab and one good kick. (I remembered the fight shorter than it was, closer to Indy versus the guy with the sword in Raiders of the Lost Ark.)

Obviously that's because Keaton didn't go study Krav Maga or whatever to get in ripped shape for this role, but it suggests a Batman perhaps aware of his limitations, aware of the odds against him. There's lots of criminals and just one of him (although he designed his Batmobile with a passenger seat), so he tries to save energy. I feel like Burton tries to let the cape do a lot of the work in making Keaton looking imposing. A lot of swooping in from above with the cape billowing out around him.

Of course, Batman again kills some dudes. A lot of dudes, if you figure most of Joker's henchmen didn't have time to get out of the Axis Chemicals factory before he blew it up. But definitely the henchman that was kicking his butt in the bell tower. I'm not counting the one who tried to jump him from behind and just fell through the floor. That was that guy's own doing. And it sounds like he threw at least one guy off a roof, based on the conversation the two muggers had at the beginning. Or maybe the guy fell off the roof while trying to flee? Then there's the whole bit with the Batplane having missiles and gatling guns. Which he fires at the Joker, when the targeting computer has him on a big bullseye, but he somehow misses? Guess Bats needed to trust his instincts, but what the hell are we doing, Batman's trying to machine gun people? I know, I know, that cart's been pulled far away from the barn by the horse.

Kim Basinger is, part of me feels like she should handle this madness more calmly than she does? She was in "Corto Maltese" right before this, which was going through a war/revolution/ethnic cleansing/something horrific. Some guys in matching jackets with handguns shouldn't be that frightening. Maybe she was always on the scene after the dying was over, I don't know. Or maybe it's Joker is a different kind of killer from what she's seen before. Not killing for religion or power or control, but because he thinks he can make art of it. That makes him unpredictable. With the Smylex thing, even Joker doesn't know precisely who is going to die, because it all depends on who mixes the wrong products together. 

Vicki does see through Wayne's facade almost immediately. Before the apartment scene, before she sees him at the street corner where his parents died, she knows there's something going on there. (I didn't remember how quickly those two were having dinner together.) Of course, seeing him hanging upside-down working out in the middle of the night was probably a bit of a clue. Still, she's observant in a way that Knox (Robert Wuhl) isn't. He sees exactly what Wayne intends for him to see, and even when he realizes Vicki is intrigued by Wayne, can't perceive why. He's open-minded enough not to dismiss the rumors on the street of a "bat-man", but can't make that critical leap. He does try to attack the Joker's guys with a bat during the parade to make them let go of one of the balloons, which shows he's not just someone asking annoying questions and making smart-ass remarks.

When I was younger, I absolutely loved this movie more than Batman Returns. Not even close. And this one doesn't have the villain bloat, where Catwoman can barely find any space to have her own arc between everything going on between Batman and Penguin, to say nothing of Christopher Walken. But that warped reflection aspect of Wayne and Cobblepot is something this movie kind of lacks. I think because Burton bets too much on, again, having Jack Napier be the one who killed the Waynes. the whole, "you created me, I created you," thing.

(For the record, I'm not any more fond of Nolan's movies having the Waynes' deaths be part of some chess move by Liam Neeson. At least in this one, Napier attacked them for their money and killed them because he's a sick puppy. It's still ultimately a random crime, it just ends up being part of a weird twist of fate down the line.)

Batman Returns

I found a 2 movies for $5 thing of the two Tim Burton Batman flicks. I think I must not have watched this in over 20 years. I'd forgotten pretty much all the innuendo. Penguin, 'Just the pussy I've been looking for.' 'No hard feelings? Well, semi-hard.' Also didn't remember Paul Ruebens playing Penguin's father at the beginning of the movie. Could the last time I watched this the whole way through really have been when I saw it in theaters with my dad?

OK, so the movie itself. I like the theatricality of the villains. Penguin gets to have actual weaponized umbrellas. The bit where he's controlling the Batmobile from one of those little kid rides outside grocery stores. Catwoman deciding she's just going to somersault up to and away from people. An entire crime circus. Are they all over-the-top, veering into ridiculous? Sure, but that's not a bad thing. Although the color schemes are a little dull and dingy. The city has some character to it, without venturing into Joel Schumacher's "we built enormous statues to hold up freeways" territory.

I like parts of DeVito's Penguin. The viciousness of him, how quick he is to do harm, or lash out, that works. The desire for a veneer of respectability, yes. So I guess it's really just the visual presentation. The black gums, the oversized infant onesie he wears. It plays into the idea all these notions he seizes on (which are really Max Schreck trying to use him) are just a mask, that however wealthy his parents might have been, that isn't how he grew up, and that isn't who he is. But it's a little too on the nose.

I'm less sure about Pfeiffer's Catwoman, but I don't think it's her fault. Her not being a thief disappoints me a little, but I don't think that would have fit what Burton's going for. Selina's constantly being expected to conform to what other people expect. Max, her mother, her (ex-)boyfriend. She's a supporting character in their stories. Batman isn't anyone's supporting character, and so that's what she tries to make herself. She does as she pleases, which I think explains the unfocused approach she takes throughout. Save a woman from a mugger, blow up a department store. Fight Batman, team-up with Penguin. Turn against Penguin.

The problem is, very little of it works out. Basically from the moment she runs into the other two "freaks", things start going downhill. Batman hits her on the arm with some acid. Penguin uses her to frame Batman for murder. Selina almost finds something with Bruce Wayne, but the things she's gotten herself into as Catwoman pull her away as surely as Batman does for Bruce. She's back to being a supporting character, putting her life and her desires on the back burner for Penguin's grandstand play to discredit Batman and elevate himself.

Really, it's probably more that the plot ultimately revolves around Batman vs. Penguin. The boy whose parents were taken from him, versus the boy whose parents didn't want him. The two that could, as Schreck notes, have been prep school chums in a different world. The one playing dress up as a giant bat, versus the one trying to dress up as a politician. Catwoman ends up shoehorned in, trying to make a space for herself in the plot. I don't know that it entirely works - though she's a fine example of the kind of person Schreck is, cautionary tale for Penguin if he knew it - but the emotional core of the movie between Selina and Bruce does mostly work. I felt for these two, trying to figure it out, but not being able to pull it off.

Michael Keaton's Batman doesn't seem to have resolved the "duality", as he puts, he's struggling with. He would like to be slightly awkward but generally pleasant Bruce Wayne, have quiet dinners with this lovely Selina Kyle, but he's not going to stop being Batman. I do like that Keaton's Bruce Wayne doesn't do the "boozy, idiot playboy" act. He's involved in the running of his business. If Max Schreck wants Wayne investment money in his power plant scam, he has to deal with Bruce, not Lucius Fox or some beancounter. And Bruce is on the ball, sees the scam for what it is, even if he doesn't outright say it.

Unfortunately, his Batman is still fairly kill happy, which is, not great. Takes a bomb off one clown, attaches it to another, throws him down a sewer access. Uses the rocket exhaust of the Batmobile on the fire eater. Doesn't even try to save Penguin. Sadly, I feel like Schumacher's Batman may be the only one that doesn't kill his enemies. I guess maybe Nolan's, if you agree not saving Liam Neeson is different from killing him. But Nolan's Batman also runs over cars with people in them in that Bat-tank, so those folks are probably dead.

The only one who seems truly comfortable in his own skin is Max Schreck (Christopher Walken with some real Doc Brown hair). It's easy for him to play the humble businessman for the crowds, while being the cruel, selfish, ruthless bastard inside all the time. The most unbelievable part of the movie for me is when Max actually asks to be taken hostage in place of his big, dumb son (Penguin calling him "Great White Dope" made me laugh.) Yes, more unbelievable than when a bunch of cats trying to eat Selina's body somehow brings her back to life, or whatever the hell happened in that scene. But you can argue that Max figures he can still manipulate Oswald, so it's fine. He'll talk this thing back around to his benefit. Max Schreck, selflessly surrendering himself to protect his son, such great copy.

As far as the Burton films, I still much prefer Batman (although I haven't watched it the whole way through in a while.) But I probably prefer this to almost any other Batman movie. Except Mask of the Phantasm, certainly. Love that movie. (My feelings on The Dark Knight fluctuate with how willing I am to accept the nature of Nolan's version of Batman, with the tank, and Bale's absurd Bat-voice and so on.)

Batman: Year One

I've never actually read all of Miller and Mazzucchelli's Batman: Year One, but I know the gist of it. Bruce Wayne figuring out what it is that he needs beyond all his training. Gordon joining the most corrupt police force in the country and trying to continue to do things properly in the face of all the corruption, threats, and intimidation.

All of that's here, although it feels much more like Gordon's story than Batman's. I don't know if that's just how this adaptation handled it, or if that's how the actual comics are. But Wayne is already almost all the way to where he needs to be. Gordon is further off. He tried to do the right thing, report corruption once, and it got him run out of his previous position, in a situation where Gotham is the only police that'll take him.  So he has to decide whether he's going to do the right thing again, or start looking away. 

At least that's what it feels like it would be, but Gordon seems to know from the first time he sees Flass beat the shit out of a kid on a street corner what he's going to do. He's already taking notes on how the guy fights for the point when they inevitably have it out. So maybe, like Batman, he's not figuring out what he's going to do, but how. That just reporting things to Internal Affairs isn't going to cut it.

Although based on what we see of the Gotham police, it's hard to say they seem any more corrupt than a lot of police we have today. The cop who shoots Wayne during his fight with the pimp by claiming an unarmed man was "gonna do something." The SWAT team that just firebombs buildings without bothering to confirm who's inside, or is willing to go in guns blazing on a guy who has four kids as hostages. Cops using their badges as licenses to kill? Unheard of!

The Selina Kyle subplot feels only halfway finished. It gets as far as her being Catwoman, but she only manages to to go from having all her crimes attributed to Batman, to being called Batman's assistant, and having Batman throw a (gruff) hissy fit over her spoiling his reconnaissance. There's not a point where her actions get her considered as someone of note herself, or where she and Batman have a real confrontation as their costumed selves (there is the brief fight right before the cops shoot him, but neither of them have found their style yet.)

If it wanted to tie things together, instead of Gordon waiting to consult with Batman about this "Joker" person at the end, it could be Catwoman having stolen sufficiently big or important enough people actually take her seriously. As is, her thread feels as though it's just left dangling off to one side of the start of Gordon and Batman's relationship.

In the Running for Dumbest Thing I've Posted About

I have no idea how it got started, but I guess there was some brief debate online last week about whether Batman would perform oral sex on his girlfriend. I'd be surprised this became a topic of discussion, but I know too well the sort of madness one's brain can cook up when left to its own devices. If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know it, too. You poor unfortunate souls.

And I'm typing this very late Sunday night while I wait to see if the thunderstorm passing through does dump golf-ball sized hail like Alex decided to text a warning to me about. Like I needed that thought when I was trying to get some sleep before work tomorrow. Anyway, it can be a convenient distraction. 

So, Batman's sex life.

I can't really see him getting away with being so ungenerous in bed. Maybe with women he dates under his "dull-witted playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne" persona. They probably wouldn't be surprised he wasn't anything special in the sack (and might not care if they're interested in his money.) I don't know how many of those ladies he was actually sleeping with, though. Be difficult to explain his disappearing in the middle of the night and returning at sun-up beat to hell. But with the women who know he's Batman? I can't see either Catwoman or Talia letting him slide. I mean, Selina's got claws and a whip and I'm betting Talia keeps daggers or firearms handy as a matter of course.

On the other hand, it's funny to imagine him coming up with excuses not to. Like, 'The Bat-Signal, I have to go!' and he runs off. Or explaining the Joker had him chained up in a deathtrap earlier, and he had to manipulate the lockpick with his mouth, so his tongue's kind of worn out, and could he just take a rain check on that? Next time for sure.

Oh, and there was no hail. Huzzah!

Sunday Splash Page #154

 

No Mixed Emotions Here," in Detective Comics Annual #5, by Alan Grant and John Wagner (writers), Tom Mandrake (penciler/inker), Jan Duursema and Rick Magyar (inkers), Adrienne Roy (colorist), Bill Oakley (letterer)

The only Detective Comics Annual I own, and Norm Breyfogle has nothing to do with it. Bizarre, I know. I feel as though I got this in one of those 5 packs on random comics you could get a grocery stores, and I liked it enough I actually held on to it.

This is, of all things, an Eclipso:The Darkness Within tie-in. I have no idea what that means, other than Eclipso is involved. And I don't know how much it relates to whatever the larger story was about, as Wagner and Grant seem to just try and fit the Eclipso stuff into a more general Batman story. Which is probably the way to go with these things. Over Marvel's last 15+ years of Big Event crap, the stuff I've liked the best is the titles that can use the Event to push forward what they were already doing.

In this case, Scarface is running a nightclub, where all the tables are bugged, so he can pick up intel on other mobsters' schemes. One of them mentions a $20 million heist the Joker pulled, but the money's never been found. So Scarface decides to bust the Joker out and get the location of the money. This is obviously a terrible idea, but he's made from a block of wood, so what do you expect?

But they are an interesting pair, the sort of old-school gangster in a suit, and the nutbag clown. The Joker's unimpressed with all Scarface's posturing and threats, just screwing around constantly. And Scarface refuses to play along with the Joker's antics, resorting the having his men punch the clown.

Batman stops a theft of a solid gold replica Ancient Egyptian bust, which had three black diamonds on his head. Commissioner Gordon ends up holding the diamonds, which feed on anger and hate. And Gordon's kind of pissed about the Joker being on the loose. 

Did I forget to mention it's the anniversary of Barbara being shot by the Joker? Funny how that works out. Barbara shows up in one panel, talking on the phone with her dad, telling him she's done her best to put it behind her, and he should too.

All of which leads to Batman, once again, protecting the Joker's life. Sigh. At least this time, it involves fighting a giant monster with the might of solar-powered toy lightsabers. You probably won't find another comic where Batman defeats a creature of shadows and hate by stabbing it through the heart with a knockoff lightsaber.

Considering the monster somehow doesn't kill anyone, I'm not sure Grant and Wagner made sure Mandrake was on the same page about that. We see one cop impaled on the creature's claw, and another basically eviscerated. Another falls out of a cop car the monster's holding above its head, so 20+ foot drop to the pavement. Then again, the one cop does says it's a miracle no one had died.

Theatricality and Cruelty

I was thinking about Mark Waid's "Tower of Babel" story in JLA on Monday for some reason. The one where Ra's al Ghul steals Batman's top-secret "defeat the Justice League" plans and uses them to try and clear the way for his latest plot to improve the planet by killing a bunch of humans.

The League, of course, survives and saves the world, then votes Batman out. Or more accurately, Batman leaves before Superman can cast the deciding vote in favor of giving Bats the boot. So at least it makes sense where Damien got his "you can't fire me, I quit" mindset. 

If I remember right, Superman's main issue is that he was the only one who knew Batman had a plan to take him down, just in case, and that it's just one more example of Batman not being a team player by keeping secrets. I'm not sure it would make a difference if the League knew, since they wouldn't know the specifics of the plans or that Ra's was using them unless Batman told them. And Bats was distracted by Ra's stealing his parents' corpses (done for precisely that reason, solid strategy).

The thing that struck me, isn't that Batman had these plans, but how cruel they seemed to be. Like, it's not enough to just kill them, he's got to hurt them. Aquaman gets dosed with fear gas so he's afraid to go in the water, and will eventually die of dehydration. He plans to blind Green Lantern*. Flash gets hit with a bullet that causes him to basically seizure while vibrating at near-lightspeed. Plastic Man gets frozen and shattered (which Joe Kelly's Obsidian Age story suggests wouldn't have killed him, but would leave him aware of what's happening for however long he remained frozen).

I suppose Batman could argue they weren't intended to kill, only to thoroughly incapacitate until the Justice Leaguer in question could be helped or imprisoned. But man, having nanites infect the Martian Manhunter so his entire body is on fire when he's in contact with oxygen, would seem a little much. How are you going to help him if he's on fire? Plus, I'm pretty sure the captions in one issue mention the nanites and that layer of skin eventually burn off and fall away, but the plan didn't call for J'onn to still be alive by then.

It all just seems excessive for a vigilante whose normal shtick is to scare criminals by making them think he'll do stuff he'd never do. Like how we know he's not going to let that crook he dropped off the roof go splat, but the crook clearly thinks otherwise. There are lines, but apparently not when it comes to his teammates.

* I feel as though Kalinara and Ragnell both pointed out Kyle's used his ring while asleep before, so being blind really shouldn't have slowed him down that much. Maybe it was a leftover Hal Jordan plan, although you'd think that would just be the plan Zemo used on Hercules in the "Under Siege" story. Send a leggy blonde at him and get him too drunk to function.

Sunday Splash Page #153

 

"You Have No Idea, Tim," in Detective Comics #621, by Alan Grant (writer), Norm Breyfogle (penciler), Steve Mitchell (inker), Adrienne Roy (colorist), Todd Klein (letterer)

As you probably guessed from last week's hint, most of the Detective Comics issues I have are from Norm Breyfogle's run with Alan Grant on the book. At least the parts that are collected in the two Legends of the Dark Knight: Norm Breyfogle hardcovers DC put out a few years back.

Breyfogle and Grant (and John Wagner as co-writer), started at issue #583, and went to issue #594. There's a gap, and then starting with issue #601 and running until the issue shown above, it's the Grant and Breyfogle show.

The stories are a nice mix of done-in-ones, and two to four-part stories, kept within the title, rather than jumping across the various Bat-books. So there might an issue about a First Nations warrior coming to Gotham to retrieve items of cultural significance (and mete out a little justice) from some white guy that paid to have them stolen. Or Catman's pet tiger escapes and Batman ends up tangling with them while Catwoman looks on. 

There's an element of supernatural/psychological threat or horror to the stories. Whether it's Cornelius Stirk terrifying his captives because he needs the chemicals their brains produce in response to fear to keep himself sane, or a desperate man creating a monster from his own anger, fear and hate to protect him from mobsters demanding protecting money. The original Clayface gathers the third and fourth versions to make himself the "ultimate" Clayface, and while he's at it, dopes Batman up and sends him into a hallucinatory nightmare.

I'm not sure what Grant's trying to say about Batman with all that. His version is kind of all over the map. At times cracking one-liners and quips while knocking people out, other times snarling and gritting his teeth like he's severely constipated. His Batman is self-aware enough to recognize when he's out of his depth, and capable of being scared. He's also ridiculous enough that, when Vicki vale breaks things off with Bruce, Bats swings over the city thinking about how Batman needs no soft kiss on the cheek, and "Vicki? Who's that?"

Sure, Batsy.

Either way, it gives Breyfogle a chance to really expand his boundaries as the series goes on. Get a little more creative with some of the page layouts when it's the mind that's under attack. Make Batman appear as more of a looming dark shadow than a person. He seems especially fond of putting Batman's face and limbs either in shadow or hidden under the cape, but having the emblem on his chest clearly visible. I guess to emphasize the idea of Batman as a symbol rather than a person. He can still humanize Batman when he needs to, soften his lines when Batman wants to avoid frightening a child, or is feeling a little cocky. But a lot of the time, Batman looks more like something more than human.

Anarky's probably the biggest character actually created during this run, and the legion of homeless guys he'd later employ in the Grant/Breyfogle mini-series (see Sunday Splash Page #25) are recurring characters throughout. Other than that, I don't know if Stirk got much traction. Kadaver fucked around with the Penguin (shown repeatedly committing actual crimes, instead of pretending to be a nightclub owner or politcian), which didn't end well. Corrosive Man was neutralized (neutralimed?) I guess Ratcatcher pops up in crowd scenes.

People who are allowed to fall through the crack in society are something Grant at least touches on regularly during the run. That and people who suffered hardship or loss like Batman, but decided to be a bit more lethal in how they handled it (see Ratcatcher and also the aforementioned guy who summoned a demon from his mind). Batman tells Tim Drake (who starts showing up right near the end of this stretch, but won't become Robin until Grant and Breyfogle switch over to Batman), to accept the anger, because one day it'll be his friend. I'm not sure that's a great message, but I guess the idea is it's your friend, not your master. Bats tells Stirk something similar, that he lets his fear have its say, then he chooses to listen to it or not.

Overall, it's a solid run. Fun stories that aren't trying to redefine the character for all time (futile as that would be), where Batman is allowed to be caught off-guard, overwhelmed, or just plain out-smarted (temporarily).

Sunday Splash Page #152

 

"Leave that Street Performer Alone, Batman," in Detective Comics #358, by John Broome (writer), Sheldon Moldoff (penciler), Joe Giella (inker), Gaspar Saladino (letterer)

Most of the issues of Detective Comics I own fall within a specific run, which we'll look at next week. If you remember the recurring theme when I was looking at titles that started with "Batman", you'll probably be able to guess.

The other four issues I own are a hodgepodge. The two issues that mark Stephanie Brown's first appearance as Spoiler, plus the issue from Mike Barr and Alan Davis' run where Catwoman is subjected a mind-altering device by the Joker and becomes a villain again. Then there's this holdover from my dad's collection.

It's almost an extremely important or significant issue. Two issue before this was the story of Batman fighting the Outsider, which turned out to be Alfred and gave so many bloggers such joy to write about. The issue after this is the first appearance of Barbara Gordon as Batgirl. Unfortunately, this is the first appearance of Spellbinder, who I'm pretty sure is much better known as an arch-foe of the Terry McGinnis Batman.

As you can tell, this is still before the Denny O'Neill/Neal Adams era, firmly in the same zone occupied by the Adam West TV show, which would have started the same year this came out, I believe. I guess the show is mimicking the art style, since I figure Moldoff is working the in the same general style the Batman comics had been in since the 1950s. 

The story structure is of its time, too. Batman faces Spellbinder once, and isn't ready for cartwheels that hypnotize you into having dreams where you almost die. When Spellbinder's goons ask why he doesn't just shoot Batman while he's in the trance, the villain replies that then he'd be on the hook for murder. But if Batman dies because he died in his dream and that killed him, well you can't prove Spellbinder did that, can you?

I'm not sure that logic tracks even if dying in your dreams really did kill you. Even if Spellbinder claims he didn't know that would happen, which would be a lie but work with me here for a second, wouldn't that still be manslaughter? You put him in the hypnotized state. There are witnesses.

Anyway, Batman figures he's ready when Round 2 comes up, but Spellbinder hypnotizes him a different way. Why Batman was ready to punch him out before the cartwheels started, but can't do the same before Spellbinder uses a pinwheel, I don't know. It's on the third attempt that Bats figures out there's always something rotating clockwise in his dreams, and if he can make it rotate counter-clockwise, maybe he can wake up. And he does, and that's pretty much it for Spellbinder.

It's disposable entertainment, as it was intended to be.

You Don't Quit, You're Fired

A couple of weeks back, there was a Teen Titans Annual where Batman confronts Damian Wayne about some crap he's been pulling as Robin. Like keeping supervillains locked up in a secret basement in Titans Tower, and possibly trying to mess with their heads, something like that. Which, as I unfortunately recall because of the existence of Identity Crisis, is not a thing Batman approves of.

They have a fight, Damian accuses Bats of not going far enough, Batman says he won't fight because he loves his son and Damian rips the "R" off his costume, proclaiming he quits.

Yeah, no. If there was ever a time for Batman to actually fire one of his many teen proteges, this would have been the time. Damian shouldn't get to extra-judicially imprison people, then act like he's got the moral high road on someone else.

(And yeah, he's sad 'cause Alfred died. I'm pretty sure the rest of the Bat-family is sad, too, and none of them are going around pulling this shit.)

But this has always been the problem with Damien, the double standard. Benefits of nepotism, I suppose. The first time he suited up as Robin and went out to fight crime in Gotham, he decapitated a guy. Cut his head clean off with a sword. Not even the Joker, or Zzazz, or Kobra. Some Scooby-Doo-looking chump called The Spook.

Did Damien know what he was doing, that he was killing someone? Yes. Did he show contrition? No. Did Batman put his foot down and bar the kid from ever being Robin again? Of course not. Damien got to be Robin, and stay Robin for the next 15 years or however long it's been now since Morrison introduced him.

He took being Robin away from Stephanie because she disobeyed orders once, by trying to help him during a fight he was clearly losing. He tried to take Batgirl away from Cassandra because he thought her commitment was lagging because she showed interest in boys and a life outside crime-fighting in general. Damien can kill a guy, and Batsy just kind of shrugs like Ace piddled on the tires of the Batmobile.

Anyway, I eagerly await Damian challenging Jason Todd for the "lethal Bat-kid" spot. Hopefully each of them kills the other.

Ships Them to the Manor in Cases Marked "Champagne"

How many tires does the Batmobile go through in a year?

My mom watches NASCAR, and so I've ended up watching a few races with her. Those guys go through multiple sets of tires in one race, and they aren't pulling hairpin turns, or jumps, or driving up the sides of buildings. They also don't have to dodge penguins with rockets on their backs or oil slicks from cars with clown faces on them, either. To say nothing of how much garbage is probably on Gotham's roads, or the harsh winters.

I'm sure Batsy gets extra-durable tires made of some polymer that's partially Kryptonian in design, but still. He's driving really fast, in close confines, on roads of questionable quality, every night. You know Alfred isn't letting him leave the cave with a set of bald tires on there.

Granted, he's not involved in high-speed chases every night. At least, not in the car. Sometimes he's on foot, or in a boat, or something. And some nights he's busy with Justice League crap on the moon. But you know one of the Robins is borrowing the car on that night, which means even more wear and tear. It all has to add up.

Death and the Legal System

I'm trying this new layout they're instituting for Blogger for this post. It's going to take some getting used to.

I saw this post on Tumblr a couple weeks ago about Lord Death Man, a villain from the Batman manga, who among other tricks, would enter a trancelike state resembling death whenever he was captured to escape being sent to jail.

This doesn't seem like it would work, since he'd show up again committing crimes later, demonstrating he hadn't, in fact, died. There's the possibility he's going for double jeopardy, but is he allowing them finish trying him for the crime first? Does it count if he never served any of his sentence, since he immediately faked his death? What good would it do if he's going out and committing new crimes? Even if he's captured robbing a bank, the fact he faked his death the last time they captured him robbing a bank shouldn't help. This is a new incidence of the same crime.

Obviously, they just needed to cremate him when he faked his death, thus nipping the whole thing in the bud.

This train of thought led, as most do, to the X-Men, and their current situation. In what is definitely not creepy at all, the X-Men have a bunch of cloning vats set up on their posh new island home. If any of them die, they just cook themselves up a new one. It seems like the new one has all the old one's memories, up to the moment of death. Not sure how that works, but I guess it avoids the issue of not remembering potentially crucial information about a threat because you didn't do a backup on your brain recently.

But the thing that interested me was whether or not a clone could be tried for the crimes of its predecessor. It's kind of a moot point for the X-Men, since they seem determined to handle all matters of criminal justice regarding their citizens themselves, even if the crime didn't take place on Krakoa. Setting that aside, if the version of the person who did whatever illegal act is dead, is the duplicate of them that pops up within a few days legally responsible? Could you try them, even though that particular body had nothing to do with the act in question?

I feel as though the Marvel Universe legal system says "No." Magneto stood trial for his actions once, and I believe the court ruled that, because Magneto had, in a story in Defenders, been aged back to an infant and then grown back up, the man on trial was in essence, a new person, and therefore not responsible for the actions of Magneto prior to the de-aging incident.

(I think that's how it went. I'm going off vague memories of Captain America not being happy with the verdict in X-Men vs. the Avengers. The '80s version, not the early 2010s version.) 

And yet, the Magneto who grew up from being abruptly de-aged sure seemed pissed about a lot of the same things as his predecessor, even though those things technically didn't happen to him. Which makes me think the memories came back as he aged. That being the case, it would seem like a clone of a dead person couldn't be held responsible for the deceased's crimes, because the clone didn't exist until after the crimes took place. They could also be considered a new person, even though they're identical to the accused.

Sunday Splash Page #77

"The One Where Matter-Eater Lad Covers for Batman", in Batman Chronicles #4, by Garth Ennis (writer), John McCrea (artist), Glen Murakami (colorist), Ken Lopez (letterer)

I own one issue of Batman Chronicles and that's because - 

Audience: It's drawn by Norm Breyfogle.

Ha! Wrong, it's from the first Hitman trade, A Rage in Arkham!

Chronologically, I guess this is Tommy Monaghan's second appearance (Edit: I'm wrong, this would be after both of the times he appeared in Etrigan's ongoing series. Probably his first time appearing outside that book, though)., the first after his introduction in The Demon's Bloodlines tie-in, and his first run in with everybody's favorite grumpy, flying rodent themed vigilante. No, this isn't the time where Tommy's pukes on Batman's boots. That's their next encounter. Also that's not actually Monaghan holding the gun there. He's not that stupid.

This takes place during Contagion, which I have no idea where that is in the annual disasters that befell Gotham during the '90s. I know it's before No Man's Land, but that's only because No Man's Land was when Tommy and Natt fought a bunch of stupid vampires. Gotham's struck by a plague, Batsy's trying to find a cure, and in the middle of that stumbles on Tommy and another hired gun. The hired gun is after Tommy, Tommy's after a victim of military experimentation turned into a walking dirty bomb, code-named Thrax. 

(I don't think this is from the Injun Peak Research facility that created so many other problems for Tommy in his series, at least, it isn't named that yet and they say it's near Long Island, not Gotham.)

Tommy's looking to kill Thrax before the detonator inside him makes him spread even more diseases over Gotham, but you know how Batman is about killing, especially for money. And especially when Thrax' immunity to the diseases inside him means he might be the key to a cure to the current plague. Unfortunately for Batsy, it might be his book, but it's Ennis' story, so the Dark Knight isn't going to have it his way this time.

McCrea demonstrates two skills he put to good use in Hitman: Drawing regular guys who just look kind of dumb as hell, and freaky-looking monsters. Eckstein (the other killer) is a horse-toothed grinning imbecile, and Thrax is the misshapen creature with a big lower jaw and lots of narrow teeth jammed together, weirdly long neck, covered in more and more of these little boils or pox. Near the end his face has swollen so much, you can't even tell he has eyes. Tommy chucking that grenade at him was probably a blessing.

Sunday Splash Page #75

"That Suit is. . . Really Something", in Batman Annual #11, by Max Allan Collins (writer), Norm Breyfogle (artist), Adrienne Roy (colorist), Albert DeGuzman (letterer)

I own a grand total of two stories, from two different issues, of Batman Annuals. And that's because - say it with me now - they were drawn by Norm Breyfogle. It's this one or the one where Jason Todd has to get involved in an extracurricular activity at school, so let's stick with "Love Bird".

Pengy is paroled, over Batman's strenuous objections, and visits Dovina Partridge (whoo, wow), who he met through each of them sending letters to the Orinthological News. She'd be delighted to marry him. . . as long as he stays on the straight and narrow. So he opens an umbrella factory, staffed with lots of crooks Batman's put away. As it turns out, that is the only crime  he's guilty of this time around, consorting with ex-convicts is a violation of his parole. Batman goes 0-for-2 against the parole board, this time asking for leniency, but does vouch for Pengy with his fiance. Although my guess is the marriage never took place.

Breyfogle gets to draw Batman being put on his heels by Dovina when he tries to warn her about Penguin, and there's one panel of him and Robin watching the factory where Batman looks distinctly like he's sulking. He's in a crouch and has his cape wrapped around him so you can only see the part of his face that's beneath the cowl. Robin's leaning against a chimney like he's vaguely disgusted, or just giving boss some space for his pouting.

I'm pretty sure Batman: The Animated Series did a version of this, except the woman Penguin had fallen for was only leading him on because she and her society chums enjoyed laughing at him. I think the episode ends with Penguin muttering, 'I blame society. High society.'

Sunday Splash Page #74

"Giving Batgirl a Sword is Just Unfair", in Batman and the Outsiders (vol. 2) #8, by Chuck Dixon (writer), Julian Lopez (penciler), Bit (inker), Marta Martinez (colorist), Travis Lanham (letterer)

I thought there would be more than 2 volumes of Batman and the Outsiders (3 counting the one DC's publishing at the time this post goes up), but I guess those titles were just called The Outsiders. One of them, written by Judd Winick, wrapped up in mid-2007, when Batman came strutting in and took over from Nightwing. Typical Batman shit. Leaves a thing along for years, then shows up one day and says, "this is mine," and just takes it.

Then again, I wouldn't have wanted to be part of Brad Meltzer's Justice League book either, so maybe this seemed like a good alternative.

This volume, though, went through all sorts of mess in a short time. Each of the first three issues was solicited with a different creative team (Tony Bedard and Koi Trumbull were listed for issue #1, I know that much), and the roster got mostly overhauled. Catwoman and Martian Manhunter were originally, plus that Aquaman who wasn't Arthur Curry that Kurt Busiek came up with a wrote for a while post-52.

By the time the first issue actually shipped, Chuck Dixon was on as writer, with Julian Lopez as the artist most of the time. Catwoman, J'onn, and Aquaguy vanished (although Geo-Force was still around), and here's Green Arrow and Batgirl. I have absolutely no idea what happened there, but if Cassandra hadn't been added to the book I wouldn't have bought it, so things work out sometimes.

Cass was back to something close to her character from the Puckett/Scott run on her title. Not talking much, not understanding jokes or references, not showing much concern for her well-being. But she was still recognizably Cass, which was a big improvement over the clusterfuck Johns and Beechen had pulled on her the previous two years. Take what I can get. 

Green Arrow seems to be on there to be the one who questions Batman's judgment the most (and the act like a dick towards Cass because she'd been in the League of Assassins). Bats just ignores it, Cass lets Ollie try to kill her if it'll make him feel better, so it's actually Metamorpho who butts heads with Ollie the most. Which is kind of fun. I like Metamorpho anyway. And Dixon brought in the idea from 52 of Ralph and Sue Dibny running around as ghosts. Although they didn't seem to be acting as detectives so much as playing Deadman and possessing people. Still, I think that was more than anyone else ever did with that idea.

Some of the faces Lopez draws look a little strange, and sometimes the proportions seem off (Grace has oddly small fists for how big she is at times), but the work is very expressive. Maybe the faces look odd because a person making that expression should look weird. And it works for the funnier moments. Batman recruited a scientist onto the team who remote controls an OMAC from the Batcave, and some of his actions while he's doing that, and when he meets Alfred are pretty funny. When Lopez needs to string together a sequence of panels for a fight scene, he can do that. You can tell how the action progresses from one to the next easily. There's nothing special about the page layouts or anything, it's just solid artwork for a superhero comic. It makes sure all the information you need is there, it sells the emotions and the action.

The overarching plot involved an alien parasite from beneath the Moon's surface, controlling people and trying to do. . . something. We never found out, because Dixon left the book (or was fired, I forget which) around issue 10. Supposedly because he was angry with how Batman R.I.P. was fucking with his book. Grant Morrison was waiting until the last second to send his stuff in for that story, so DC couldn't change any of it. That left everyone doing tie-ins scrambling to get their shit done on tighter deadlines. I get Morrison not wanting his work fucked with, and I doubt he told DC to make other books tie in, but come on, have some sense of the fact you're making other people's lives harder.

With Dixon off the book, and tie-ins commencing, I jumped ship. Just as well, because once the tie-ins were over, Keith Champagne took over writing and retooled the roster, dumping Cass and Green Arrow among other, and I want to say adding Killer Croc? I don't know. At some point I think Dan Didio started writing it, which is when you know the book is going to be total shit, but I was long gone by then.

Sunday Splash Page #73

"Guess Who Invited Himself to Dinner?", in Batman Adventures #3, Kelley Puckett (writer), Ty Templeton (penciler), Rick Burchett (inker), Rick Taylor (colorist), Harkins (letterer)

The series based on the super-awesome '90s cartoon show. Mostly done-in-one stories, although there were some multiple issue arcs. Like this story, where the first two issues the Joker had maneuvered Penguin and Catwoman into committing crimes that actually helped him set up his plans for this issue. Which involve abducting Gordon, then breaking his arms with a baseball bat while broadcasting it across the city. It's extremely effective for just how casually brutal it is, without requiring Joker to kill a small town's worth of people. Imagine that.

Mike Parobeck and Rick Burchett are the two artists most commonly associated with the series, but for this issue, but the first three issues are all Ty Templeton, with Burchett on inks. Regardless, the characters are recognizable, while still being each artists' own style. There are some great panels in these issues with Batman leaping out smoke or punching people.

I'm pretty sure they've collected the entire series, plus the follow-up Batman and Robin Adventures, into a bunch of trade paperbacks in the last 5 years. Which is good since, at least from what I've seen online, the single issues can be surprisingly pricey.

Sunday Splash Page #72

"Alas, Poor Mustache Pete," in Batman #475, by Alan Grant (writer), Norm Breyfogle (artist), Adrienne Roy (colorist), Todd Klein (letterer)

I own about a half-dozen issues of Batman. One is issue #500, when Jean-Paul Valley builds his own Bat-suit (you know the one) and takes down Bane. Everything else is in the Legends of the Dark Knight - Norm Breyfogle collection, except for this issue. Which is also drawn by Norm Breyfogle. 

This will be a bit of a recurring pattern over the next six weeks, just telling you now. I don't give much of a damn about Batman, but the late Norm Breyfogle? That's another matter entirely.

For this issue, Scarface gets shot up by a new gang taking over his territory, and the Ventriloquist declares himself retired. That lasts less than one issue, so it's surprising Batman actually took the Ventriloquist at his word when he told him that.

The more relevant thing in this issue is it's the first comic I recall seeing Renee Montoya, who would go on to be one of Gotham's more prominent cops over the next 15 years, then take over as the Question. She's bringing Gordon some files when Bats comes to visit and pulls a gun on him. Breyfogle draws Bats as visibly human from the six-pack down, but all cape and strangely elongated shadows from there up. Points to Montoya for not being fazed when Batsy pulls his usual mid-conversation disappearing trick.

There's also a scene where Batman is about to swoop in to save Vicki Vale from some drug dealers, but the photographer she's with does it first. Then they kiss, while Batman swings off insisting to himself it doesn't matter. He didn't like Vicki anyway, he has The Night. Sure, Batsy, sure.

During the day, Breyfogle draws most of the buildings standing straight up and down, fairly clean. Maybe not classy, but solid, presentable. At night, he and Roy give them this look that could either be shadows, or just grime. Everything looks dingy and rundown. The buildings all seem to tower up out of these narrow panels into the sky. It's a little claustrophobic, and the buildings are drawn at angle, so they're almost reaching for something, or about to topple over. It's more menacing.

Chaos Should Be Less Predictable

This isn't a new complaint, but for all the talk of the Joker being an "agent of chaos" or whatever we're meant to believe he is, he just keeps coming back to killing lots of people. The methodology might change, but where it ends doesn't. It's not much of a joke if the punchline is always, "and then they died."

I would just like to see the Joker doing random stuff sometimes. Batman's cruising along in the ol' Batmobile, stops at a red light ('cause he obeys traffic laws when not in hot pursuit), and the Joker runs out and throws a pie over his windshield. Made of glue, so Batsy can't easily clear it off. Then he just leaves, having mildly inconvenienced Batman.

Or one of the Bat's other rogues is on the loose, and the Joker drops him off in front of a police station. Alive. Not even because he doesn't want Mr. Zsasz or Riddler or whoever killing Batman, but just for the hell of it. Because that's what he felt like doing when he woke up that day.

Batman Game With 50% Less Batman

I picked up the first episode in Telltale series Batman game on XBox Live last weekend. Probably should have done some research on the game first, but it was only 5 bucks, which just so happened to be roughly how much money I had on the account. So, impulse buy. It's been a year since I was on XBox Live, cut me some slack.

So, Batman game. As far as Episode One goes, Bats has his first encounter with Catwoman, stealing something from Mayor Hill's office. Bruce is also funding Harvey Dent's mayoral campaign, but has attracted the attention of Carmine Falcone. Also, there are reports Bruce's parents were in bed with Falcone, and someone stole a bunch of psychotropic drugs from a warehouse. Sooooo they're hijacking the plot to Batman Begins? At they establish that Batman's "scary voice" is a voice modulator, rather than him comically trying to do a scary voice himself.

As for the gameplay, the Batman sections are almost all Quick-time Events. You know, pull the control stick left when it says, or hit X on command. So it's my least favorite parts of Resident Evil 4, all the damn time! They make it look like a cut scene movie, so I want to watch, but I can't watch and keep ready for the commands as they pop up, so I don't get to really see what it is I'm making him do.

But a lot of the game is spent as Bruce Wayne talking to people, where you're given responses to choose from. Which you choose can have repercussions later in the game. Like when Falcone came to my fundraiser for Dent, the game let me choose to shake his hand or not. I figured Bruce would be polite, but that meant there were photos of The Handshake to put on TV when the reports about Bruce's parents came out, which means a p.r. hit. Which is kind of an interesting touch to the game play, but unless I shell out for the other episodes, I probably won't know what impact it would have.

The game provides some similar options when you're Batman, but it's about whether to break a guy's arm or not while interrogating him, or what to do with Falcone when you catch him. I opted against arm-breaking, but did impale Falcone on some rebar as part of my  "Save the brutality for the assholes in charge" approach. But I felt bad about it after, so that makes it OK, right?

Anyway, it only took a few hours to play the entire episode, but I can't see myself picking up the rest of the game. It's not what I'd call a fun Batman experience.