Note to Lori Wheal: Teaching is its own Career Path

Lori Wheal, member of Asshats for Education (A4E), regaled us today with the sorrowful tale of why she is leaving the classroom. In typical Asshat style, she tells her tale of woe while informing us--repeatedly--what a wonderful teacher she is and what a shame it is to lose her. She tells us she is a great teacher "by all measures". She lumps herself in with the "irreplaceable" teachers the city loses every year. She talks about being in the Master Teacher program, and refers to herself as a Master Teacher at every conceivable opportunity. No, really. She uses the title on LinkedIn and on Twitter. She even got NY1 to refer to her that way.

I don't know Ms. Wheal at all, but I do know that people who feel the need to toot their own horns all the time are usually the weakest and most insecure teachers.

So what's causing Ms. Wheal to leave and put the entire NYC school system in jeopardy of imminent collapse? Well, she was (as you may have heard) a Master Teacher at a turnaround school, and now that position has been eliminated because those schools will not be closed. This has left poor Master Teacher Wheal hopeless, as her precious "career ladder" has been yanked out from under her. Clearly, she has no option but to leave the system, because despite her Master Teacher credentials, she no longer has any intention of teaching children and wants to turn to education policy.

Maybe there's a way to introduce Master Teacher Wheal to Ruben Brosbe, another Asshat who had no trouble telling everyone else how to teach but headed for the hills when there was real teaching to be done.

I've got news for the boo-hoo-ing Asshats like Master Teacher Wheal: Teaching is its own career path. If you have gone into teaching because you hope one day to run a school district, you are in the wrong profession. If telling other teachers how wonderful you are is more important to you than getting in front of kids and doing the day in, day out work of actually educating children, you are in the wrong profession.

I may not know as much as Master Teacher Wheal; after all, I have only been teaching for more than twice as long as she has. But I do know that getting a gig in a turnaround school with a nifty title doesn't make you a master teacher.

What makes you a master teacher is dedication to those children in the classroom. It's sticking it out even when the going gets tough. It's being dedicated to teaching as a career and not looking at it as a stepping stone to greater things for your own advancement. It's knowing that every year in the classroom teaches you something you can use the next year, and the next.

If you go into education with the view that being a classroom teacher is the bottom rung of the ladder, you are a disgrace to the profession and you should leave.

That means you, Master Teacher Wheal.

Don't let the door hit you on the asshat on the way out.

Teacher Data Reports to be Released

Bloomberg finally got his way. Teacher Data Reports (TDRs) will, apparently, be released, according to NY1. Let the public shaming of teachers begin.

Now that teachers will be rated from ineffective to highly effective, you can bet those rankings will become public, as well.

It seems the court ruled that despite the fact that the data sucked, it was nevertheless public information.

The only bright spot to come out of this is that we might get to actually see some of the data on our favorite teacher bashers, like Ruben Brosbe, Sydney Morris, and Evan Stone.

Asshats 4 Relocation

I know this is difficult to fathom, but could it just be that Ruben Brosbe was the smartest of all the members of Asshats4Education? One might have to reach that conclusion, because even a rat has the sense to flee a sinking ship, while Ruben had the sense to get out of NYC and basically renounce the Asshats as soon as he was denied tenure for the second time. And before someone gets on me for the analogy, I am in no way suggesting that Ruben IS a rat. One is dirty bottom-feeding vermin who spreads contagion throughout a city. The other is a rodent.

I've felt that the Asshats were stagnating for a while now, as they seem stuck at about 1,800 "Likes" on Facebook. When I checked a month ago, they were at 1803 or so, and now they are at 1848. Not exactly a mad rush to join. And when you consider that all you have to do is click a button to "like" them, it calls into question how many members they really have. If people can't be bothered to click a button, it's unlikely many have filled out A4E's infamous loyalty oath.

So, is it curtains for Evan Stone and Sydney Morris? It may just be. South Bronx School reports that A4E may be fleeing NYC for the less unionized Los Angeles. Ed Notes tells us that the Asshats are having a tough time even getting a crowd together. And with all their corporate backing and free media publicity, their failure to attract members is embarrassing.

So while Ruben is living large at Harvard, Evan and Sydney are attempting to bail out their sinking ship with Dixie cups, hoping they can sail off to LA. And bloggers like me are left scratching for material as they flee.

Feels good, man.

Mr. Talk Scoops GothamSchools

Yep, it's official. Ruben Brosbe is leaving his lackluster career as a classroom teacher, as I speculated earlier today. You read the news here hours before it appeared in Gotham Schools, as Ruben couldn't help but leave a comment to me before departing. I'm sure GS is thrilled that their blog monkey (TM SoBronxSchool) allowed another blog to get the scoop!

The problem is, he is now going to Harvard (Muffy will be delighted) to study education policy. How can a failed classroom teacher even hope to be a leader? Here's the comment I made at GS.

Burning bridges, eh, Ruben? Blaming your admins for your failures as a teacher is really pretty lame, and you can bet that you won't be welcomed into many schools after what you said in this post. What happened to all that talk of "no excuses"? You've blamed your poor performance on the kids, the admins, the parents, the union--everyone but YOURSELF. Maybe teaching isn't as easy as you supposed it would be--those of us who have dedicated our lives to the classroom resent your know-it-all attitude. While I really don't wish ill on people, I have to say I am glad you failed as a classroom teacher.

What shocks me is that you seem eager to bypass the challenge of being a successful classroom teacher in order to try to pursue a career in education policy. One assumes that your privileged background has opened the doors to Harvard, and will probably lead to a career as an ed deformer in the mold of your idols, Evan and Sydney. It's a shame, because you may end up dictating policies that you yourself could never manage in a classroom.

I guess those who can't teach, go into education policy.

 

Something tells me we haven't heard the last of Ruben.

Breaking News: Is Ruben Leaving Us?

In case you don't read the comments on this blog, there was an interesting one this morning on my post about Ruben's Waterloo. The comment reads as follows: "Newsflash! Ruben is Harvard bound in 2 weeks so tenure is NOT a thought. Let the loathing commence…"

I have no idea whether this comment is true or not, but it sure sounds as it it were written by the man himself, especially the "Let the loathing commence" part. The comment was posted by someone with an IP from New York College of Podiatric Medicine. Is Ruben now studying podiatry? Perhaps he wishes to learn how to remove the foot that is perpetually lodged in his mouth.

True or not, I have to say that this comment got me started thinking about something that has troubled me about the tenure debacle. Bloomberg is claiming all kinds of credit for making it harder to get tenure, but the truth is that a lot of folks were denied for no other reason than they had about 24 hours to put a portfolio together for their superintendent. I honestly don't know if I could have put something together on such short notice that would have made me tenure-worthy.

What's troubling me is all these extensions. If you've been extended, you simply have to start evaluating your other career options. I'm sure that a lot of new teachers who were extended are looking for jobs elsewhere or throwing in the towel. If you've been extended twice, like Ruben, you simply must have an exit strategy, as it seems to me that principals will think really hard before they grant tenure to someone who has twice failed to receive it.

By making tenure so arbitrary and basing it largely on TDR scores that have little validity, the mayor has guaranteed that many promising young teachers will flee the system.

All of this is bad news. We have senior teachers under attack by astroturf groups like Asshats4Education, and newbie teachers under attack by a mayor who wishes to burnish his education legacy before he slinks out of office.

Whether Ruben stays or goes is of little consequence. What does matter is that NYC is making a concerted effort to make teaching a temporary career, by hook or by crook. This can only harm the profession, and in the end, the children who pass through our doors.

Ruben Brosbe's Waterloo

Probably no one was looking toward the release of the NYS test scores with more trepidation than Ruben Brosbe. He has twice had his tenure extended and now appears to be on the five year plan. As such, a lot rides on this year's scores. After all, he was apparently extended because of his dismal scores in the fourth grade which he was foolish enough to publish in the NY Post. Then, he switched to third grade, which, conveniently, kept him from getting another dismal score (as only grades 4-8 currently get them).

Apparently, it didn't work. While Ruben's individual scores are not out there, his grade's scores are. Here are the third grade results for PS 310:

SUBJECT    # Tested    % Level 1    % Level 2    % Level 3    % Level 4
Grade 3 ELA      90             24.4             46.7            28.9             0
Grade 3 Math     98             12.2             39.8            43.9             4.1

Now, obviously, these aren't all Ruben's kids. Even so, it's clear that Ruben could not have gotten a single student to level 4 in ELA. Less than a third of the students on his grade achieved a level 3. There are nearly as many level 1 students as level 3 students. Math scores are marginally better (as math scores usually are), but they are still abysmally low, with more than half the children failing to meet standards.

This does not speak well for Ruben's chances of getting tenure next year. The numbers will do him in. That, of course, is what Ruben and Asshats4Education claim they want. No excuses. If kids don't perform, it's the teacher's fault. Poverty, drug abuse, and neglect be damned. Data is king. Teachers must perform or perish.

I hope the Asshats have a job lined up for you, Ruben, because these numbers would appear to be your Waterloo.

The Battle of the Asshats

Ruben Brosbe

Michelle Costa

       




                                     VERSUS









In what could be a sign of an imminent implosion at A4E, Asshat Extraordinaire Michelle Costa has called on fellow Asshat Ruben Brosbe to be fired.

If you don't remember Michelle Costa, she's the teacher at Aspirations Diploma Plus High School who wrote an article calling for "ineffective" teachers to be fired. She also collaborated on the A4E white paper which basically said the same thing. Assuming that she meant what she said, there can be no doubt that she is calling for fellow Asshat Ruben Brosbe to be terminated. Of course, she didn't say that out loud, but looking at her position papers, there is no other conclusion we can reach.

For example, in her article in The Brooklyn Paper, she said, "...while most teachers give it their all, there are sadly some who can’t raise the bar for their students." This describes Ruben perfectly. His dismal TDR scores, along with a critique from his principal that claims a "disconnect" between what he knows and his ability to execute in his classroom, clearly show that he has not raised the bar for his students and should be fired.

Michelle continues lambasting Ruben in the A4E white paper looking for alternatives to seniority based layoffs. In it, she and her fellow Asshats claim that, "...without considering performance in layoffs, many highly effective teachers will be lost, while less effective teachers remain in the classroom. We can tell whether teachers are likely to be great within four years of their entering the classroom." Ruben has now completed his fourth year, and in addition to his lousy TDR scores, he has twice been denied tenure.

It will be interesting to see who wins this battle. Do the Asshats really believe in what they say? If so, Ruben should go. I'm sure Michelle would agree.

Well, I'm not 100% sure. It's quite possible that Michelle Costa was also denied tenure. You see, every single one of the eight teachers up for tenure at Michelle's school was denied. She graduated from GWU in 2008, so it's quite likely that this past year was her third year of teaching, which would have made her eligible for tenure. If so, she, like Ruben, was denied.

Hmm. Maybe this isn't a battle so much after all. Maybe it's a reckoning.

Ruben Brosbe, The Musical! Or, How To Succeed In The Teaching Business Without Really Trying

It was inevitable! After the roaring success of his low TDR scores made him the Toast of the Post, and his extended tenure made him a Daily News Notable, E4E Productions is proud to bring you (drum roll....)

Ruben Brosbe, the Musical!

We can't give away too many spoilers, but we can tell you some of the exciting plot line! A young man named Ruben Brosbe wants to become a great teacher, but realizes he has none of the skills it takes to be one. Discouraged and about to quit, a fellow unsuccessful teacher slips him a book called How To Succeed in the Teaching Business Without Really Trying, by Doug Lemov and Mel Brooks. The book tells him that there's no need to bother with all those teacher-ish things, like writing and executing good lessons. No, all he needs to succeed is to seize on the anti-teacher sentiments brewed up by the ed deform movement, and become their poster boy! This strategy actually allows our hero to succeed by failing. Ruben starts blogging, shilling for E4E and Gotham Schools, and stabbing his fellow teachers in the back at every turn. He becomes a folk hero to the local dailies. Nothing can stop him now!

Or can it? After a round of vicious self-flagellation lands Ruben a flattering cover story in the Times Magazine, his fellow teachers confront him in the men's room and threaten to expose the fact that one of Ruben's students actually learned something. Dismayed, Ruben tries to restore his lack of confidence in one of the musicals most rousing numbers, I Don't Believe In You. As he stares in the mirror, he croons to himself:

Now there you are,
Yes, there's that face!
That face no one can trust!
It might embarrass you to hear me say it,
But say it I must! Say it I must!
You've got the dull, brown eyes
of a failure without a full deck!
Yet there's that hipster beard
looking weirder than all holy heck!
I don't believe in you!
I don't believe in you!

With his self-doubt fully restored, Ruben goes on a bender of negative posting. He blogs his every mistake. He bemoans his every misstep. Still, it seems unsatisfying. He's about to tender his resignation but first he goes off to drown his sorrows. By chance, he tells his troubles to a group of young teachers standing at the bar. Upon hearing this story, the leader of this group, Evan Stone, pulls out a copy of How To Succeed in the Teaching Business Without Really Trying. Ruben realizes he has found soul-mates in his E4E friends and resolves to join them. This leads to the rousing finale, The Brotherhood of Scabs:

(Ruben):
Now you may join the Elks my friends,
And I may join the Shriners,
And other men may carry cards,
As members of the Diners.
Still others wear a golden key,
Or small Greek letter pin,
But we all need to wear Asshats,
before we can get in...into the...

Brotherhood of scabs,
The malevolent brotherhood of scabs,
Ignoble ties that bind our lips to Klein's behind,
A great big brotherhood of scabs!

(Chorus joins in, donning hipster beards and Asshats)

Your E4E membership is free!
Keep downing all the free drinks you can!
Oh we're so proud to be,
Failing so miserably!
In this great brotherhood of scabs!

(Curtain falls)

So far, the musical has gotten rave reviews:

"This play will run for years! And then I'll extend it another two years!"--Ruben's principal.

"If you see only one ed deform musical this year, see this one! I'll buy everyone drinks!" --Bill Gates

"I almost cried, but I have no human empathy! Or tear ducts!" --Michelle Rhee, Students First

"I don't know. I tried really hard, but in the end, I think I sucked in this role!"--Ruben

With this kind of success/failure, can "Ruben Brosbe On Ice" be far behind?

Ruben Brosbe Uses Occam's Razor To Cut Himself Some Slack

OK. It official. Ruben Brosbe, award winning blogger, darling of Gotham Schools, and hero in his own mind, was denied tenure, for the second time. He will now embark on his 5th year in the NYC Public Schools.

Ruben wasn't the only one denied tenure, of course. A bunch of other E4E people, like the teachers at Aspirations HS, also had their tenure decisions extended. There's talk that E4E will be officially renamed "Extensions4Educators".

The irony, of course, is that these E4E folks are the very ones who advocated for stricter tenure requirements. Well done, E4E folks! Congratulations!

What struck me most about his "Occam's Razor" post is that Ruben decided the simplest solution to his denial of tenure is just that he isn't good enough yet. Actually, I could respect that kind of stance--if it were genuine. But Ruben leads up to this realization by giving us many, many excuses, such as:

• The superintendent is making it tougher to get tenure (which is what E4E wanted).
• It's difficult to earn tenure in a new school.
• His TDR was flagged because he scored so low (again, something that E4E wanted).
• The principal's decision was beyond her control (which assumes she wanted to grant Ruben tenure, but did not. There is no evidence presented to support this).
• Fifteen of his students started as level 1, and many were ELLs (welcome to NY, Ruben!).
• Four of his students required special education services (welcome to NY, Ruben!).
• He didn't take criticism from the principal well.
• He might have poisoned his relationship with the principal.
• Something on his blog might have upset his superiors.
• His previous principal would have given him tenure (but how could this be when we know these decisions are based on data and supervisors are always fair?).

That's a lot of excuses to give his readers before he comes to the conclusion that the fault lies not in his stars, but in himself.

I think the most telling part of his piece, however, was this: My principal told me she saw a “disconnect” between what I understood and how I put it into practice in the classroom. Swallowing my pride for a second, I could see it was true. A critical step between the planning of my lessons and their instruction was missing, and as a result, lessons sometimes lost their way.

I don't believe that Ruben understand what a harsh criticism this really is. Ruben has had four years to learn how to execute lessons effectively, but has not. What his principal actually is saying is, "You seem to understand the nuts and bolts of lesson planning, but you aren't a very good teacher." That's why he was denied tenure.

Just how bad is Ruben? Honestly, I don't know. Let me put it to you this way, though. He carries water for the DOE and Joel Klein. He published his own crappy Teacher Data Report score in the New York Post to help them advance their agenda of publishing all teacher scores. He helped write the white paper that would have effectively ended seniority, which was Mayor4Life's wet dream. He stabbed his colleagues in the back at every conceivable turn and wrote about it for GS. And with all this major sucking up, he was still denied tenure.

Twice.

Let's not forget that in Ruben's little white paper, he and his E4E cronies wanted to give the city the ability to lay off any teacher who had gotten a U rating in the last five years. Meanwhile, Ruben has had four years to prove he deserves his job, and has failed to do so.

One of the tenets of E4E, as adroitly pointed out by NYC Educator, is that teachers don't improve after the third year. While I don't believe that for a moment, I can tell you one thing: I have never seen a mediocre teacher improve dramatically after the third year. From all indications, Ruben is, at best, a mediocre teacher and it is highly unlikely that his FIFTH year will make him into a teaching superstar--you know, the kind of excellent teacher that E4E says everyone deserves.

So why is Ruben still teaching? How many years should the grotesque science experiment that is his teaching career be allowed to go on before his principal pulls the plug? How many students have to be subjected to his mediocrity before someone stops him?

And GothamSchools should be asking itself why they are giving such a broad forum to someone who has proven, year after year, that he really isn't a very good teacher.

So do us all a favor, Ruben. Instead of using Occam's Razor to cut yourself some slack, use it to cut your ties with the teaching profession.

Asshats Grab Their Ankles While Ruben Brosbe Gets Into the Fetal Position

It seems that bad karma is coming to bite some of the members of Asshats4Education right where they hang their hats.

Apparently, many principals and superintendents are denying or extending tenure. According to a piece in Gotham Schools, many teachers are having their tenure decisions extended--and there is no limit to how many times tenure can be extended (maybe the DOE plans on denying tenure until teachers are ready to retire).

The Asshats, who SO wanted data to be a part of the decision on who to fire in case of layoffs, are some of the very people who are having their tenure decisions deferred or denied because of sub-par data. For example, at PS 61 in Queens, none of the teachers for whom data reports were issued received tenure.

Here's the wrenchingly ironic (and given her membership in Asshats4Education, delicious) tale of tenure for Asshat Samantha Love of Aspirations High School, who had her tenure decision extended:

Along with some of her colleagues, Love and other teachers at Aspirations are members of Educators 4 Excellence, the group of young teachers that advocates for tougher evaluations and changes to layoff rules. “I do believe we should be examining our personal effectiveness, and I don’t think [tenure] should just be a given,” she said. “But the way the process is being carried out is not an objective assessment.”

Really, Samantha Love? You and your cronies lobby for rules that could only weaken teachers' rights and protections, and you complain when it happens to you??? Didn't your beloved Asshats plead for an end to seniority protections so that senior teachers could be laid off based upon their performance on the very sort of "objective assessments" that you now whine about? You WANTED value-added scores to cost senior teachers their jobs, and you have the nerve to complain that the self-same data has prevented you from earning tenure? Karma is a real bitch, isn't it?

And where is Asshat Extraordinaire and award winning blogger Ruben Brosbe in all this? Ruben is the guy who tried to sell out his colleagues in the NY Post by claiming that teacher data should be made public. He even posted his own dismal scores for all the world to see (he did, however, wisely become a 3rd grade teacher as they currently do not receive teacher data reports). Did HE receive tenure, or did he receive an extension to his 5th year? Despite his calls for transparency on Gotham Schools, and a promise to discuss his tenure status, he has suddenly disappeared. One assumes he is huddled somewhere in the fetal position, sucking his thumb, wondering how the Asshats could have been so wrong.

Or maybe Ruben DID get his tenure, despite his lousy results. It wouldn't surprise me, as the DOE has been known to reward its loyal toads.

If you're curious, as I am, click on over to Gotham and ask Ruben for yourself. There are many of us discussing this issue over there.

Members of Asshats--just so you know--now that A4E has let you down with a thud, the UFT would love to have you back. We may not be offering free drinks, but we will fight like hell for you. Even for Samantha Love.

Ruben Brosbe Doesn't Get Pissed Off

I wrote what I thought was a pretty scathing critique of Asshats4Education's blog monkey* Ruben Brosbe's teaching results. I wrote it here because Ruben moderates his own blog and would never have posted it there. Imagine my surprise, therefore, when I saw a post from the wonderful Pissed Off Teacher on RB's blog. No one does scathing like PO'ed:

How can you insist on denying tenure to others when your own results are so dismal?
If you really believe in Educators for Excellence you should resign. From your own posts you are not even close to satisfactory.

Amen to that. Still, Ruben appears not to understand what he's being told. Here is his response to PO'ed, dissected:

I'm not seeking to deny tenure to anyone, although I think tenure should be granted based on rigorous standards, and I think that some schools are already working on this.

Yes, Ruben, they are. In fact, most schools are unilaterally denying tenure to fine teachers because of the pressure from the Mayor, with A4E at his back. You are part of this. Yet, you apparently have accepted tenure from your own school, despite the fact that you have produced sub-par results on the very measures by which you would have others judged.

Can you see why we have a problem with this, Ruben? Why are others being denied while you get a pass? PO'ed is right: if you honestly believe in test scores as a major component of tenure, then you have failed by your own admission. You should resign. Anything less, while you advocate for others to be terminated, is the height of cowardice and hypocrisy.

As far as my own teaching, having students who progressed from levels B and C to levels G and H doesn't feel dismal to me. Do I wish I could have made more progress with them? Yes, but I still look at this progress and I feel proud.

The city doesn't give a shit how you feel, nor do your Asshat friends. The ONLY thing that matters to them is data, and whether your data is good enough. Perhaps you understand now how the rest of us feel when we have done the best we can with what we are given, and then are slammed by TDR scores that do not reflect the kind of job we have done.

I think it's unfortunate that by admitting my shortcomings as I've done, I'm being attacked. I think that by spending as much time as I have talking about my struggles I may have presented a certain picture of my teaching that's not the complete story.

That's pretty rich, Ruben, because while you are complaining about feeling attacked, you are advocating the public embarrassment and humiliation of fine teachers across this city. You want their test results, based upon an extremely flawed value-added formula with a margin of error of at least 37%, to be published in the papers. Do you think that those teachers--most of whom work as hard or harder than you--deserve to be publicly attacked in the newspapers? You don't like getting attacked on blogs--why would you think that your colleagues would be OK with being dragged through the mud by Rupert Murdoch? Do you have any empathy for your fellow teachers, or is it all about you?

Nevertheless, as teachers I think it's important for us to be willing to be honest about our work, otherwise there's no way to grow or improve.

There is a difference between being honest about our work and being ridiculed in the public square. Most of us already know when a lesson hasn't gone particularly well, or when discipline has gotten out of hand. We know--from experience--when we need to adjust our methods or lessons. You say there's no other way to improve other than to be publicly shamed and fired if we don't measure up to some flawed formula? I hope you really aren't that stupid, Ruben.

I honestly don't know whether you're a good teacher or not, Ruben. But the data says you suck, and YOU are the one who thinks data should carry the day. By that metric, you should resign. Most of the rest of us, like PO'ed and the 80,000 other teachers out there know that you can't reduce good teaching and effort to a number.

So, it's time to get pissed off, Ruben, by which I mean it's time for you to understand what Pissed Off Teacher was saying. You should practice what you preach. If the data says you aren't doing your job, then by A4E standards you should not be teaching. So if you really believe what you say, you should resign.

The rest of us know that teaching is more--much more--than a value-added number could ever calculate.


*The phrase "blog monkey" is © 2011 South Bronx School.

Ruben Brosbe's Blame Game

I might have missed one of Ruben Brosbe's epic blog posts had it not been for a mention in one of the comments in Gotham Schools. You see, usually I follow Ruben's exploits by reading GS itself, as they publish everything he writes, including his most vapid and feckless reflections (on second thought, that pretty much is everything he writes). This time, I had to go directly to his blog, after which I had my browsing history scrubbed with hydrochloric acid.

As it turns out, poor Ruben's students once again stunk up the joint with their standardized tests. If you recall Ruben's past disasters, he scored in the bottom half of teachers twice even when he was compared only to other newbie teachers. He refused to disclose his third year numbers (despite insisting that the city release everyone else's) but we know from his blog posts that he still did a piss poor job. And from his latest bird dropping, we know that Ruben's kids did poorly for the fourth consecutive year. Luckily for Mr. Brosbe, he managed to escape to the 3rd grade where he will not receive a fourth consecutive turd of a TDR. But to show you the kind of fearless guy he is, he still wants everyone else's data put in the papers. What a guy.

Apparently, out of 26 students, Ruben had to assemble eight promotional portfolios, which means eight of his students failed to meet the minimum cuts scores set by the city for promotion. EIGHT. (For the record, I did not have a single student below the cut, and as a middle school teacher, I have more than 90 students, not just 26). To help Ruben understand the magnitude of his blowout, about 31% of his students failed. Had I produced similar results, I would have had 28 students below the cut.

Now, as I have stated many times, any teacher can have a bad year, which is only one of the reasons why I think TDR scores are a farce. But RB has now had FOUR consecutive bad years, and unless I am as bad at math as one of Ruben's charges, that means he must either receive tenure this year or be let go. So far, he has not mentioned putting his resume together, so he probably got tenured despite his crappy results. That is exactly what Asshats4Education, of which RB is a charter member, says they want to prevent.

A4E also claims that there are NO EXCUSES for bad scores, and one would assume that would apply to RB as well. Despite that, Ruben's blog post is full of excuses for his terrible results. Here are some of the lowlights:

• The title of his post is "Looking for Lessons When Your Students Fail". Pardon me? According to Asshat scripture, children are never to blame for failure. If a child fails, the teacher simply didn't do enough, and that applies to RB, as well.
• His drivel continues: "These portfolios are meant to show that in spite failing the ELA or math exam, these students are still at level 2, i.e. approaching grade level. Unfortunately, this just isn't the case for most of my kids who failed, since the majority are ELL's, including several newcomers." Isn't RB responsible for his kids' scores? They can't speak English? Boo hoo...that's just another one of those lazy teacher excuses.
• RB further laments: "Two of my students who I consider "high 2's" or even 3's didn't mean (sic) the cut-off." In other words, Ruben really has no clue where his students are at. This is inexcusable. He should have differentiated their instruction according to their ability, and apparently he had no idea what their level was.
• RB also teaches "...a girl who has been in my school since kindergarten, and while her reading improved from a level B to level G this year (from kindergarten to first), she still hasn't grasped phonemic awareness." He teaches third grade and hasn't gotten this student out of first grade reading? That is another failure, which Ruben excuses by claiming "I can take some pride and consolation in the knowledge that I've instilled a love of learning in this girl that I hope will last." Actually, since data is everything to RB and A4E, I'd say this is scant consolation. She's not making grade level, but Ruben continues to make excuses.

RB closes his whine by saying that, " Sulking or self-flagellation will not get us far though." I have mixed feelings about this, as I have twice called Ruben the king of self-flagellation, here and here. It's good to know that he reads this blog and gets some of the truth about himself. On the other hand, it sucks knowing that RB is still out there, getting tenure while trying to get far better teachers than himself fired.

And Ruben, on a personal note, there is no need to self-flagellate. I will be happy to continue doing it for you, as long as you continue to spout your garbage.

And South Bronx School will happily join me. Along with the legion of commenters on GS who have your number (which, I am sure, is well below the cut score).

12 Step E4E Program

I have to admit that I'd never even heard of Grace Snodgrass when I came across her piece in the Huffington Post parroting the Asshats4Education drivel about teacher evaluations. I wanted to find out more. She didn't seem as blindingly stupid as Ruben Brosbe, so I was concerned that the Asshats might have found a new spokesperson. I mean, Ruben could hardly go back to his old job in this economy, as circus geeks are plentiful these days.

Anyway, there was precious little about Grace Snodgrass other than her HuffPo pieces and her Facebook page, in which she identifies herself as a liberal. After I got the soda to stop foaming out of my nose, I noticed the picture you see here. Yes, it's Grace herself, belly to the bar, eyes closed, fists clenched, ready for anything. I wondered why a teacher would make this her profile picture on Facebook.

Then I began perusing the A4E website for more info, and I discovered that they're having another get together tonight for anyone who likes to drink and doesn't mind pledging loyalty to a prissy little snot like Evan Stone. While you can't enjoy the free drinks without the pledge, you might want to show up and say hi. It will be held at The Gate, 321 Fifth Ave. at 3rd St., Brooklyn, from 3:30 to 6:30. Grace might be there. And you might want to know that she called your mom a whore and said she can kick your ass with one leg behind her back.

I tried to sign up for the event myself, and I even got as far as the pledge. It looked mighty familiar, and I post it below for your information.

TO JOIN ASSHATS 4 EDUCATION AND GET LOTS OF NICE DRINKS, AS WELL AS STICKERS, AND DID WE MENTION THAT THE DRINKS ARE FREE AND PLENTIFUL, YOU MUST AGREE TO THE FOLLOWING:

THE TWELVE STEPS
OF ASSHATS4EDUCATION

1. I admit I am powerless over my classrooms — that my students have become unmanageable.
2. I came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore my room to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of Bill Gates as I understood Him.
4. I will make a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself and then whine about it in public to anyone who will listen
5. I admit to Bill, Melinda, and to myself the exact nature of my ineptitude.
6. I am entirely ready to point out the defects of character of my fellow teachers.
7. I humbly will ask Rupert Murdoch to publish those shortcomings.
8. I will make a list of all the teachers in the city and their TDR scores and push for them to be published in the paper.
9. I will demand public humiliation of my colleagues, especially when to do so would injure them or others.
10. I will continue to take personal inventory of my failings but flee to third grade where there is no data to prove it
11. I will seek through prayer and whining to improve my teaching practice through contact with Bill and Evan, as I understood them, praying only for knowledge of their will for me and the power to blog about it.
12. I have had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, and I will try to carry this message to alcoholics in the form of free drinks at Asshats events.

You should hear what Grace said about your dad.

A Farewell to Asshats

Now that the mayor has shot his load, so to speak, and threatened to lay off 4,100 teachers for a total of 6,000 fewer positions, I think the UFT needs to act. Listen, I am the last person who would, under ordinary conditions, suggest that we negotiate with this slug of a mayor, but I fear the time has now arrived. We have no choice. We need to strike a deal that will protect both teachers and the strength of our union.

I hate to say this, but I think we must follow the model set forth for us by the negotiators at Asshats4Educators. (I know this is blasphemous. Forgive me.) Say what you will about A4E, they understand the negotiation process. They have doggedly insisted that layoffs are about teacher quality, and that we must get rid of sub-par teachers. Toward that end, they have offered the city what it wants: some easy targets to slate for elimination, such as rubber roomers, ATRs, or anyone rated U over the last 5 years. The UFT has, thus far, staunchly defended these groups, and rightly so. Teachers have routinely been brought up on false charges or had their schools closed through no fault of their own, so it makes sense to protect them. Yet we must give the city something--throw some red meat to the sharks, so to speak, so that the rest of us can escape, A4E style.

So, I'm offering a less than modest proposal: If the mayor insists on layoffs, let's not stand in the way. Let's offer them the Asshats.

That's right. There are 1600 Asshats infesting the city's schools, according to the Asshats themselves. If we offer them to the city along with the 2000 jobs lost through attrition, the total would be 3600--close enough to 600o to strike a deal.

Think about it. What would the city lose if we turned the Asshats into chum? Not much. The vast majority of Asshats are temporary employees who will flee the system as soon as the economy recovers or Bill Gates offers them a cushy job. Would the public schools be diminished if Evan Stone and Sydney Morris lost their jobs? They hardly work now!

Let's look at some of the other jewels in the Asshat crown. Ruben Brosbe, for example, stuttering mouthpiece for A4E, constantly celebrates his own incompetence in the NY Post and Gotham. His TDR scores were so dismal that he apparently fled to 3rd grade, where he would not receive a report.

If there's even one bad apple like Ruben in A4E, it's safe to assume that all Asshats should go, isn't it? I mean, they routinely assert that rubber roomers and ATRs should go because a few of them may be guilty. Why shouldn't that apply to Asshats, as well?

And it's not like there are just a few of them. Michael Loeb, for example, is another A4E stooge who seemingly can not write a coherent paragraph. Would the system miss him?

Of course, you could argue that by picking A4E for extermination, I am biased against newbies, but that is not so. Also sent packing would be senior Asshats like that boob who had her clock cleaned by Julie Cavanagh on NY1.


And as long as we're throwing people under the bus, I'd recommend firing anyone with a douchebag hipster beard.

So that's my proposal. What do you think?


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Talking Through His Asshat

Move over, Ruben Brosbe! We have another A4E clown tossing his asshat into the ring!

The newest scab to don the sphincter sombrero is Michael Loeb, a third year teacher from the Bronx. (How is it that the Bronx manages to produce both a union stalwart like Bronx Teacher and schmoes like Ruben and Michael? It doesn't seem possible.)

But I digress. Michael Loeb penned a piece of drivel for Michelle Rhee's Students First website. When it comes to drivel, Michael is right up there with Ruben. Read the first incomprehensible paragraph:

"Those who can, do; those who can't, teach." That's how Nobel Prize for Literature winner George Bernard Shaw saw it over 100 years ago when he wrote these now infamous words. Educators know first-hand that Shaw was wrong. But we have to do more to change lingering misperceptions. Considering the enormous role education plays in shaping the lives of our kids, it is essential we elevate the status of teachers in our society.

I mean, what?? I often tell my students to begin their essays with a meaningful quote that helps illuminate the rest of the writing. Loeb got the quote part right, but he's about as illuminating as the dim bulb he appears to be. If Shaw were alive today, he'd modify his quote to read, "Those who can, do; those who can't teach, write for ed deform websites."

Mostly what Michael says is an A4E retread of how we need to "elevate" the status of teachers by firing senior teachers. Of course, Michael himself has been teaching for a whopping three years now, so obviously he knows everything there is to know about education and how to change it for the better. He advocates the elimination of seniority as a means of elevating the profession. He asks, "How will we attract new, talented, relentless teachers if potential educators know they may be out of a job in a year or two regardless of how they do?" To which I say: relentless? Really? Spend a little time on your vocabulary, Michael; "relentless" is hardly the mot juste here.

A better question is, "How will we attract new, talented teachers if they know they may be out of a job as soon as their salary rises? Why will anyone spend time and effort mastering the craft of teaching when they know they are disposable and will be discarded after a few years?" Michael and his coterie of colonic chapeaus would do away with many of the things that make teaching an attractive profession, such as security, due process, freedom to implement one's own teaching methods, pensions, and whatever else they can think of.

Of course, A4E's position, and one assumes Michael's position as well, is that test scores should play a large role in determining who gets fired (let's stop saying Bloomberg wants to lay off teachers--he wants to fire teachers). Let's look at this position and figure our why all the Asshats seem to love this idea.

Look at your Teacher Data Report or TDR (you can see a sample one here). Look at the very top. The first thing reported is how many years a teacher has in the system. That's important because teachers are NOT judged the same way. TDRs break teachers down into four groups: Teaching for 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, or more than 3 years. They do this because that way new teachers can only be graded against each other, and NOT against senior teachers. So when layoff decisions are made using test data, newbies don't have to pit themselves against more experienced colleagues. As a result, if Michael scores a 56 percentile against other 3rd year teachers, this doesn't mean he's in the top half of teachers--it only means he's in the top half of the very small number of teachers who have his exact experience level in his subject area. That gives him a huge advantage because he only has to perform better than a very limited subset of teachers to appear as if he's in the top half. Senior teachers, however, would be judged against all other teachers.

The DOE does it this way because they know what all the research says: that teachers only really begin to shine when they hit their fifth year. If the DOE pitted their newbies against senior teachers, the newbies would be hammered.

Ruben Brosbe knows this. After a rather dismal showing on his TDRs for three years, he ended up teaching third grade this year. Of course, third grade teachers do NOT get TDR reports. How convenient.

So if the DOE and StudentsFirst (gag) and Michael and Ruben really were concerned about keeping great teachers in the classroom, they'd put all their "relentless" energy toward protecting seniority, because the evidence shows that experience makes one a better teacher. Instead of shoving a shiv in the backs of their colleagues, these Asshats should be arguing that layoffs are totally unnecessary given that the city has a 3 billion dollar surplus.

I'd like to conclude by reminding Michael Loeb that George Bernard Shaw was a strong advocate of workers' rights at a time when most workers didn't have any rights at all, so he is hardly a fitting quote to use in your essay (sorry, but even my 8th graders know an inappropriate quote when they see one). To show Micheal how it's done, as all good teachers do, I will leave him with a quote from Shaw that is much more appropos:

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.



Note: Thanks to commenter Zulma, who brought Michael's article to my attention.

Pity the Poor Asshats

A commenter called "ms. v" (sic) on GothamSchools has taken to defending Ruben Brosbe, Head Chapeau of Asshats4Education. According to her, some commenters there are picking on the poor boy. I was actually going to stay out of it this time, but her assertion that Ruben is being picked on pissed me off. I'm going to post my comment below, just in case it gets removed by GS. If you want to follow the original thread, you can go here.

No one has reason to "pick on" you. No one is picking of Ruben, either. He accepted this position as a blogger in GS and ever since has been guilty of lies of omission, at the very least. If he intends in any way to be considered a journalist or commentator on education, he must at minimum be honest. He has not been.

He was not honest about his membership in A4E until he was outed by another blogger. He said he would discuss his tenure and he has not. He told the world that he wants TDRs public and yet he scurried off the 3rd grade knowing he would not get a TDR there. He posted to EduSolidarity, knowing full well that he and his union-busting opinions were not welcome there. His behavior has been underhanded.

You think we're bullying him because we call him on his dishonesty and deceit? If he chooses to prevaricate in a public forum he should expect not to be believed or respected.

If you want to talk about bullying, let's talk about A4E. A bunch of non-educators take money from billionaires to try to bust the union and steal the jobs and future pensions of hard working, dedicated teachers. They spend millions of dollars on glossy mailers and TV ads trying to poison the public's mind against public education. The vast majority of teachers see through their BS, but there are a few teachers who side with them. Some side with A4E because they are too gullible to understand the implications of A4E's positions. Some side with them in the hopes of getting a nice, cushy job like Sydney and Evan have. I'm not sure whether Ruben is gullible or conniving, but I know he does not have the interests of public education at heart. And yes, I do take that as a very personal thing. If Ruben wants to be the voice of A4E, he should man up and at least be honest about his intentions. He has about zero credibility here.

There are a lot of great teachers out there who would have been fired (not laid off, but fired) had Ruben and his A4E pals gotten their way. I most likely would have been one of them based upon my previous year's TDR. If he wants to come here and advocate that dedicated teachers like me should be fired so union busters like him can help clear the decks for the billionaires, then yes, he should expect some push back.

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Ruben Sandwich, Hold the Beef

Ruben Brosbe, highly qualified columnist for Gotham Schools, has been strangely silent these past few days since the release of the Teacher Data Reports (TDRs). I say strangely, because he was the one who informed us that he was below average when compared to first year teachers when he began his career, and that he was a low average when compared to second year teachers the following year. In fact, so insistent was he that the numbers be public that he penned an opinion piece for the NY Post in which he argued for the release of the data to newspapers.

So my question, Ruben, is this: Where's the beef?

I've basically released my own data, so I think I am entitled ask Ruben for his, especially as he wants to make everyone else's number public, despite the written pledge from the DOE that the number would only be used internally.

Ruben believes in data. If data had an orifice, Ruben would be out buying lube. He and his Asshat4Education cronies believe that these reports should be a huge factor in determining layoffs and tenure. Ruben is up for tenure this year, so his score should be very interesting. Will he get tenure no matter what, due to his olfactory buggery up the DOE's anus?

When you post the numbers, make sure you tell the truth, Ruben, because we'll almost certainly be able to fact check in the newspapers soon. No sense waiting until you are outed, like you were when your membership in Asshats was uncovered by Bronx Teacher.

Maybe I'm being harsh. Maybe Ruben just forgot to post his numbers. I'm going to drop him a little reminder at his latest post on GothamSchools. I'd encourage all of you to do the same. Just go here and leave a comment.

C'mon, Ruben. Show us that you're more than a couple of empty slices of damp bread.


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Mr. Talk Shoots for the Big Time

I don't know if you've heard, but GothamSchools is hiring! This is huge news for a small time blogger like me--my chance to make the big time! I hope you, my faithful readers, won't mind if I audition right here?

I know the three of you are skeptical. I can hear you thinking: "Mr. Talk writing for Gotham? Why, he's pro-union, anti-Unity, and borderline socialist!" Never fear. I'm willing to be employed by a hedge fund manager for a price, which is one of the main qualifications for this gig.

Let's start with my version of the Remainders, in which GS does the daily roundup of news.

REMAINDERS

• A new study says that teachers suck. (WSJ)
• No, really. (Post)
• An education expert from TFA with nearly three weeks of teaching experience speculates that value-added is the way to go. (The Illinois Right Leaning Testicle)
• Tenure or global warming: Which will cause civilization to collapse quicker? (The Obvious Intelligencer)
  
• A teacher somewhere in the known world made inappropriate remarks to a student. (World Weekly News)
• We mean teachers really suck! (Post)
• Mayor Bloomberg, Bill Gates, Eli Broad, and Whitney Tilson announced a new initiative to ensure that every child knows that they are really, really rich. (Forbes)
• Eva Moskowitz defended her decision to take over a public school at gunpoint and convert it to a charter by saying it's "for the children!" (Jejune Journal)
• Rupert Murdock stated that "heads will roll" after it was discovered that today's edition of the Post contained only two editorials blasting LIFO. (Post)
• We mean they bite the big one! (DN)

Of course, there's more to GS than aggregating news. There's also the community section, and I'm sure candidates for staff writer will be expected to contribute to that, as well. For my audition piece, I decided I could follow no wiser course than to emulate my hero and award winning blogger, Ruben Brosbe.

GS COMMUNITY

Blame It All on Me
By Mr. Talk

I got my teacher data report today, and boy, was I disappointed! For all the good I did, they may as well have put a tree stump at my desk! Until today, I assumed that all teacher data reports must contain positive integers. Was I ever wrong!

I wanted to reflect on my abject failure, so I added an extra thirty minutes to my self-flagellation routine this morning in hopes of finding an answer, but to no avail. So I went to visit my assistant principal to see if she had any insights. She said I was an abhorrent worm and a stain on the face of humanity, and of course I agreed. But wasn't there more to it than that? I must be doing something wrong!

I analyzed my workday and got a real surprise. It turns out that I am not using my time to best advantage. For example, I usually go pee twice a day during school hours. That's a full four minutes that I am not spending with my deserving children! I knew I needed to pee faster, and I discovered that if I scrunched up my face and visualized senior teachers floating in the urinal, I could cut 45 seconds off my time. Still, it wasn't enough, so I self-inserted a catheter and attached the other end to an empty hot water bottle that I duct taped to my leg.

Some of my colleagues tell me not to be so hard on myself. They point to the troubled home lives of some of my students, such as the boy who set my trousers on fire last week. But those are just excuses. If I hadn't been wearing flammable pants, it would never have happened! Please leave encouraging comments below that fully express your pity for me as I confront my ineptitude. In the meantime, I will be working tirelessly to get you fired.

So, that's my audition. Philissa Cramer, I'm waiting on your call!

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An Asshat By Any Other Name

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE the name Asshats4Education when discussing the scabs at E4E. I think Reality-Based Educator should be inducted into the Ed Bloggers Hall of Fame for coining it, and it has been my privilege to run with the name. It thrills me to no end to see them referred to as A$E all over the blogosphere. Still, there's something dissatisfying about the name.

It doesn't capture their essence. They are asshats, to be sure; I don't think anyone can deny that. But the phrase misses why they are so adroit at wearing their buttocks as head gear. Sure, they are greedy, pretentious bastards who want to take down the union, but it's more than that. I couldn't figure it out until I went back and reread some things from our old pals Ruben Brosbe and Michelle Costa, both proud wearers of fanny fedoras. That's when it hit me.

Read Ruben's post again (at your own risk; those with nervous issues and stomach problems should seek medical advice before reading). What struck me about it is that he spent much of the time whining about himself and his issues. It was all about him. "I suck! My data sucks! I'm being picked on! Me me ME!" Sure, he threw the obligatory "I must improve for the children!" gag at the end, but that was a personal pity party just like the one he shared with the New York Post when his TDR numbers bit the big one.

You might say that you can't blame ol' Rube for feeling a bit self-absorbed after discovering that he isn't the only one who thinks his teaching stinks on ice. Maybe. But what was really telling were the comments. Teachers--real teachers who do this job for decades and not as a farce or a resume filler--actually rallied to Ruben's aid. They offered him advice, consolations, and words of encouragement. That is what teachers--real teachers--do. That is NOT what Ruben is doing. Rather than support his fellow teachers he is happily throwing them under the bus. For Ruben, it's all about "ME".

Pivot over to Michelle Costa, a young lady who also sports a buttocks beret. Not only did she pen a rather facile article denouncing her fellow teachers, she helped craft the now infamous A$E layoff recommendations (I use the word craft advisedly, as in, "I have to go craft a dump"). Read her drivel, if you can stomach it. She also likes the word "I" a lot. She tells us that she didn't become a teacher for the money, or the vacations--she did it for the kids (as opposed to the rest of us hammock swinging, check collecting vermin). She then goes on to tell us how senior teachers should be laid off in favor of wonderful, idealistic souls like her. She says these things despite that fact that she comes from an F rated school, and there is zero evidence that she can teach.

And again, despite her self-infatuation, she was defended in the comments by a real teacher--a colleague who would most likely lose his own job due to his union activism should her plans ever be realized. For him, it's about US--the union. For Michelle, it's all about her.

That, in the final analysis, is what good teaching is about. We do it for the kids, not for ourselves. Sydney and Evan ran away from teaching as soon as a Gates funded opportunity to stab their colleagues in the back came along. How long will it be before Ruben and Michelle do the same?

These E4E people are all about themselves. They aren't in it for anything noble, such as public education, or equal opportunity, or anything else. They are in it for "ME".

Therefore, I proposed that we start calling them ME4ME. That would be a more accurate description of what these asshats are all about.


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Just Sayin'

Ruben and Reubens. Coincidence? You decide.












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