Stressed out kids?

A reader named Kymber sent me a fascinating article from the UK Daily Mail on how one fifth of British children suffer from 'school phobia' but half of parents are unaware of the problem.

Here are the highlights:

• Children aged five to six and 10 to 11 most likely to suffer from the condition
• Results in children not wanting to attend school due to emotional distress
• Sufferers often fake illnesses on school mornings or suffer genuine stress
• Being bullied was the most common trigger of the phobia, claim parents

It's well-known that stress affects a child's ability to learn, so stress from whatever causes (whether it's bullying, family problems, physical appearance, school size) will impair academic advancement.

I doubt the problem is any better in the U.S. I clearly remember hating junior high school (as it was called at the time) due to the teasing and harassment I got. Things were better in high school because I became friends with the librarians and they used to let me work the counter as well as hide out in the librarian's workroom during my lunch hour. I knew I didn't have things too badly -- bullying wasn't tolerated then as it is today -- but the unpleasant memories still linger.

It's impossible to eliminate bullying or other school stresses. They're just part of the school culture. What's the solution, besides removing the child from school? I have no idea.

I just feel sorry for these poor children who must stress their childhoods away.

Defusing a potential nightmare

I received a startling and somber email from a mother with a question about homeschooling. Not about the nuts and bolts of the subject, but rather how to handle her husband, who opposes homeschooling. I was at such a loss as to how to advise this dear lady that I thought I would open up the topic for discussion and ask folks to send in their recommendations. There is no doubt she's in a thorny situation and needs some advice. Many heads are better than one, so let's pitch in and give her some help.

She writes (edited slightly for clarity):

I want to thank you for all the wonderful information on homeschooling resources. I myself have just recently started homeschooling my four year old in preparation for kindergarten. In the process of me doing that this year my oldest daughter (7 yrs old) has been bullied relentlessly at the school I was to enroll our younger daughter into. Needless to say I have since found a online virtual school to help us with the materials that are needed to homeschool both my daughters next year.

I am up against my husband on this one for the homeschooling. He is pro-public school and doesn't want the girls to be "isolated," which there is no way since they are both involved in Girl Scouts. I am doing this all behind his back in order to protect my girls from injury at that horrible school again. He is one of those that has the mentality that its part of growing up to be picked on. Not when she comes home with a busted lip from a rock that was thrown at her and bruises from a child grabbing her.

Any suggestions on how to handle him and defuse a potential nightmare when he finds out???

I admit I gave a low whistle upon reading this. I've met people who are strong advocates of public schooling, but not at the risk of their own children.

So, dear readers, please help her out.