Another requiem for another bread machine

Almost exactly seven years ago, I posted my requiem to our bread machine.

We bought this bread machine back around 1998 or so, when I finally realized I don't have much by way of breadmaking skills. Don is a sandwich guy and loves bread, so if we bought all bread from the store, it would have cost a fortune. Over the subsequent years, this faithful machine made literally thousands of loaves at a cost of probably thirty cents a loaf (ingredients + electricity). Sadly after 20 years, it finally bit the dust.

Fortunately, some years before that machine died, we had found an identical machine at a thrift store for $15 and snatched it up. When my first machine died, we transitioned seamlessly to the second.

Yesterday I started a loaf of bread, partly for Don's sandwiches and partly for bread stuffing for Thanksgiving. I started the machine and then began working another project, so I wasn't paying much attention to it.

But after a bit I heard the machine emitting some distressed beeps. And was it kneading? I started paying attention and realized no, it wasn't kneading. And what was that smell?

The smell was electrical. Plus it was kind of "humming." I unplugged it right away, then tried replugging it in. The machine started humming again, and conspicuously refused to knead. Well nuts. Another faithful machine bites the dust. I didn't want to risk an electrical fire, so I unplugged it and took the bucket of bread ingredients out.

But wait, we had yet another identical model on hand. I fetched it from the barn loft, dusted it off, put the bucket with the bread ingredients into it, and voilà: It worked perfectly.

This machine, too, was an inexpensive thrift-store find from several years ago.

Now we're tasked with throwing away the old machine. Maybe in the vain hope some handy person can fix it, I'll put it next to the dumpsters with an explanatory note and hope for the best.

Meanwhile, we'll keep our eyes peeled in thrift stores for yet another Regal Kitchen Pro. They really are excellent machines ... although to be fair, probably almost any thrift-store machine will work fine.

Rest in peace, bread machine.

How to make frankenbread

Have you ever wanted to make a loaf of terrifying frankenbread, perhaps for Halloween or some other special occasion? It's easy-peasy.

Just combine the ingredients in the bread machine, forget to add yeast, and voilà: a hideous and inedible glob of baked goo. Frankenbread.

You're welcome.

One of those days

It was a busy day. Shelling beans, packing a box to ship ahead to Virginia (for my upcoming road trip with Older Daughter), making pizza for dinner, paying bills, keeping the woodstove stoked (high of 27F today), and many other tasks.

This included making a batch of bread (I use a bread machine). Unfortunately a stray elbow slammed into the bread bucket, resulting in a huge mess.

Sigh. What else can I do but just clean it up?

And do laundry.

Yep, one of those days.

Requiem to a bread machine

Way back when Older Daughter was about a year old, and even though our finances were very, very tight, we bit the bullet and brought a brand-new bread machine. Don loves sandwiches and eats a lot of bread, but my breadmaking skills have always been marginal, so a bread machine seemed like the perfect answer.

We did our research and purchased what was, at the time, a top-of-the-line model: The Regal Kitchen Pro. As I recall, it cost somewhere on the order of $180. That was a tremendous amount of money for a penniless young couple with a new baby and a startup woodcraft business, but we did it.

And oh my, what a machine it's been.

That breadmaker has turned out hundreds upon hundreds of perfect loaves over the past 20 years. Let's see, if I make an average of three loaves a week, times 52 weeks/year, times 20 years, that amounts of about 3,120 loaves of bread.

I made bread last night, but this morning when Don went to take it out of the bread machine, this is what he saw:

In other words, the ingredients were there, but nothing happened.

We fiddled with the wall plug, thinking perhaps it needed to be reset. Then Don fiddled with the machine, wondering if a wire came loose. But no, it appears after 20 years of faithful service, my beloved bread machine has finally bit the dust.

But wait! It just so happened Don had found an identical model a couple years ago at a thrift store, in excellent condition (in fact, it looked like it had never been used). At only $15, he snatched it up. As it turned out, shortly thereafter the bucket on my old machine sprang a leak, so I just transitioned to the new bucket from the thrift-store machine.

This morning I hauled the thrift-store machine out, dusted it off, slipped in the bucket with last night's ingredients, and less than four hours later a beautiful loaf came out.

I tell ya, folks, a bread machine -- if you actually use it -- is one of the handiest and most reliable of household appliances. I hate to see my faithful old machine go, but at least I have a new (to us) replacement which, I hope, will last for the next 20 years.

UPDATE: Some readers have been asking for our standard bread recipe. This is what I usually make (ingredients added in the order listed):

1 1/4 cups warm water
1.5 teaspoons salt
1.5 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons butter or margarine
2 cups all-purpose white flour
1.5 cups wheat flour
2/3 cups oatmeal
1.25 or 1.5 teaspoons yeast (kinda depends on how strong your yeast is -- this will take some tweaking)

I use the "2" setting ("Large-dark") on my machine.

ANOTHER UPDATE: This post got mentioned on SurvivalBlog!

Making bread (the cheater's way)

A few days ago I made a passing reference to my bread machine, prompting some questions from interested readers.

I'm no good at breadmaking. Early in our marriage, I tried and tried and tried to make bread ... and didn't have much luck. Long story short, around 1996 or so I broke down and purchased a bread machine, specifically a Regal Kitchen Pro Model no. K6743. At the time, it was one of the top-rated machines.

(I took this photo off an eBay listing, because my bread machine isn't nearly this clean and shiny.)

This marvelous invention has churned out literally thousands of loaves of bread over the last 20 years. Don's a sandwich guy, so on average I make two or three loaves a week.

For awhile, bread machines were the "thing" to have, but for some inexplicable reason many people never used them once they had them. As a result, you can often pick up pristine hardly-used machines in thrift stores, often with the instruction books intact. Gold!

I'm sure today's modern bread machines are far better than the one I currently use, but I certainly have no room to complain about my particular model; it still works flawlessly. A lot of newer machines produce more "loaf-shaped" loaves as well, but we're so used to the taller vertical bucket that we never give it much thought.

For literally the entire lives of our girls, they've eaten homemade bread. In fact, here's a true story: One time when Younger Daughter was just a baby, I got behind on making bread and we ran out, so Don purchased a couple of loaves at the grocery store. When he came home, Older Daughter (who was about three years old) watched him unpack the items. Suddenly she came flying into the bedroom where I was changing Younger Daughter's diaper. "Mommy, mommy!" she yelled with great excitement. "The bread! It’s sliced!"

The girls have dabbled in the "great unknown" of commercial white bread at various times, but they're grown to dislike the pasty consistency and bland flavor and now appreciate a good wheat bread.

Over the years, I've made different types, but our daily standby is wheat. It's not whole wheat, since the recipe calls for both unbleached white flour and oatmeal, but it's tasty and hearty and makes excellent sandwiches.

I add the following ingredients (in the following order) for one loaf of wheat bread, #2 setting on the bread machine:

10 oz. warm water
1½ teaspoons salt
1½ tablespoons sugar (or honey)
3 tablespoons butter or margarine
2 cups white flour (don't bother with bread flour)
1½ cups whole wheat flour
2/3 cup oatmeal
1½ teaspoons yeast

One reader asked what yeast we use. I buy bulk Saf Instant yeast and store it in a quart jar in the fridge.

At first I was embarrassed to be "caught" using a bread machine, but gradually I came to realize I should be no more embarrassed than if I were "caught" using a washing machine or a similarly useful invention. The fact of the matter is, I would not make homemade bread nearly as fast as Don could eat it without the handiness and ease of this gizmo.

So that's the skinny on our bread machine.

My Secret Shame

Here's my latest posting on RegularGuy.com called "My Secret Shame."  Chew on this one!