Max George chooses Christmas over a number one single

It's been the best part of two years since The Wanted managed to have a number one single. We Love Pop magazine offered Max George some sort of Faustian pact:

When asked to pick between Christmas and a number one song, Max told We Love Pop magazine: ''Christmas. Sorry, but it is. I do The Wanted all year and Christmas is the one time I get to see my family and I love seeing them so much. Sorry boys!"

It's an unfair deal, as George doesn't seem to have grasped that Christmas is something that happens every year, and will happen in the future come what may; and Wanted number one singles are things that don't happen any more, and probably won't happen in the future no matter what happens.

In effect, the question was just an acknowledgement that it's going to take a Narnia-sized miracle for the Wanted ever to get a Number One again, and that George isn't really that bothered about that.

Bookmarks: John Taylor

Splendid work by BBC News, which invites John Taylor to re-answer questions he first took from Number One and Smash Hits back when he was the most famous cheekbones on the planet:

Q: Why are you a tax exile? (Smash Hits Book of Personal Files, November 1986)

JT: "I didn't know I was. The only time we took a year out was '83 and I don't remember planning it in advance. It was just served up for us - this is what we're going to do. We were recording the difficult third album. We did it in the south of France, the Caribbean and finished it off in Sydney. These days I go backwards and forwards between the States and here and it's all the same tax wise."

In the Smash Hits grilling, he was quoted as saying he did not see why, "with a career that may at best last five years", he should give 70% of his earnings to the government. He says now: "I don't have a problem with tax."

Gennaro Castaldo Watch: It's not like it was when Bassey was young

Is it really so strange that a Welsh person gets to number one? Apparently so, as Sian Evan's ride to the top (albeit through "featuring" on a DJ Fresh track, Louder) has forced the Western Mail out to ask Gennaro Castaldo what he thinks about it all:

Music industry expert Gennaro Castaldo said the song’s popularity was down to a number of factors, including its timing in the music festival season and at the start of the summer holidays.

“Clearly it’s getting a huge amount of coverage and a huge amount of airplay, which is one reason for why it has done so well.

“In this particular case it has also been on the ad campaign of a well-known drinks product, which has given it a huge additional profile.”

He said the music industry had changed from when Dame Shirley and Sir Tom were among the first Welsh chart-toppers in the 1960s.

Fans are less interested in following a specific artist and more driven to listen to what fits in with their behaviour as a consumer and what their friends are sharing through social media, he said.

“It’s more about the song and how it fits in with people’s lifestyles.”

You'll note something surprising here - no, not the way that he falls into the "must mention Tom Jones" trap of "talking about Welsh music" but there's no mention of HMV attached to his name. This is, I think, the first time that Gennaro has turned up without his employer's name in the copy. An editing slip-up? Or is there something we should know?

(By the way, if you're really going to stretch back to Wales' original chart-toppers, isn't Ricky Valance, who had a number one half a decade before Tom Jones managed it, a more interesting name to bring up?)

Gennaro Castaldo Watch: Soldier, soldier

Is there anyone in the forces, or recently demobbed, who doesn't have a single out this Christmas?

Latest bloke nipping out the guardhouse is Xander Rawlins, who unlike James Blunt is combining soldiering with making a record. And he's pitching for Christmas number one.

Does he have a chance? Who can tell us?

“If anyone can challenge the might of Simon Cowell and the X Factor, then it may well be an artist from this background… we can see the beautiful '1000 Miles Apart' as a potential dark horse for the Christmas No.1." said Gennaro Castaldo, Head of Communications at HMV.

Head Of Communications? Has someone got a new job title?

Interesting that Gennaro is scratching his head trying to think of someone who might be able to "challenge the might" of Simon Cowell - it's only a year since "the might" was "challenged" by a bunch of Facebookers and the official anthem of Emoland.

So, he's a dark horse, is he? Let's call in some other expert opinion:

Rupert Adams, a spokesman for the bookmaker [William Hill] said "We believe that a forces related song is the most likely song to beat the X Factor for the Xmas No. 1 and Xander fits the bill big time!”

Really? So, William Hill believes he's in with a chance, then?

William Hill has offered odds of 25-1 on the single reaching the top spot.

Ah, yes, they're so convinced they're prepared to offer you £2500 if you stake £100 on him being number one.

Gordon in the morning: Rage Against... what were you raging against, dears?

Gordon's got a really weird interview with Rage Against The Machine this morning. Reading it - if you didn't know any better - you might assume that RATM had somehow come up with last year's Christmas number one campaign rather than just having been the recipients of other people's hard work.

Rather queasily, the band are now building on what happened last year as part of their promotional framework, thereby validating the idea that Simon Cowell is central to the music industry. You know, the idea that other people were supposedly buying their record to disprove:

Zack told The Sun: "I really hope there are no hard feelings with Simon.

"He seemed to think that it was a bullying campaign but the truth is the British people wanted a change.

"I don't think anybody has heard anything of that Joe guy since Christmas, but we have nothing against him.

It does get worse, though.

"The truth is Simon's shows occasionally produce talent.

"We love Susan Boyle, she is hot.

"To show there are no hard feelings we would like her to perform with us on stage this summer.

"She is a great vocalist and we would love to perform Killing In The Name with her. Everybody knows her in the US and she can add her vocals to anything. It would be an honour for us."

"... and Steve Brookstein's free, so there's that option."

I don't think anyone's ever really believed that RATM really were a counter-cultural force, but who knew they'd be pitifully trying to leverage a few ticket sales by jumping the Britain's Got Talent train?

Gordon in the morning: Silence in Church

For no apparent reason, Gordon decides to kick Charlotte Church around a bit this morning:

It will be a while before we hear an album from her as she is looking for a new record deal. But I hear she has been writing songs in LA and is touting them around.

Meanwhile, Channel 4 have shelved The Charlotte Church Show. It was last aired in 2008.

None of these three things really seem to be 'news' as such. Gordon only seems to be bringing them up now so he can share some his of his acute, insider's eye to explain this situation:

I reckon the problem can be summed up in two words... KATHERINE JENKINS, her sexy Welsh chart rival.

Yes. Yes, that would be it - you can picture the scene at Horseferry Road:

- Shall we recommission the Charlotte Church show?
- No, we'd better not, as there's another welsh female singer in existence

Elsewhere, Gordon reveals that Journey refused to let Simon Cowell give Don't Stop Believin' to whoever was going to win last year's X Factor.

(Pop quiz, hotshots - can you remember the name of the 2009 X Factor winner? That's showbusiness.)

Gordon sees this as the fatal flaw that cost Joe his number one:

The Geordie lad performed the 1981 ballad twice on The X Factor. And I'm not alone in thinking it could have got him the Christmas No1 if he'd released it.

Although Gordon doesn't say who it is who makes him feel unalone in this strange belief.

Gennaro Castaldo Watch meets Gordon in the Morning: It's a special Christmas episode

It's like David Bowie turning up on the Bing Crosby show, as the two titans of filling media space come together to mark the most magical time of the year. Even Gordon Smart knows that if you need an inarguable but unilluminating quote about record sales, it's a call to HMV you need:

Gennaro Castaldo, of music chain HMV, said: "Rage has taken a slight lead, as you'd expect given the size of the Facebook campaign.

"But we believe Joe's cover of The Climb will come storming back over the next few days.

"Chances are that the best part of half a million copies of the X Factor single will be sold over the rest of this week."

Gordon has headlined his piece about the Rage v X Factor sales drive "exclusive", despite consisting of nothing more than mentioning Joe is behind at the moment but expected to catch up tomorrow, quoting Castaldo, and giving the latest odds. All of which everyone was reading yesterday. Apart from the Castaldo quote. Perhaps Gennaro has now become a celebrity who The Sun is buying up.

Tom Morello makes web stunt look tacky/tackier

There was something to be said for the Rage Against The Machine Christmas campaign - it felt like a genuine, grassroots attempt to organise people into a 'none of the above' vote for a Christmas number one.

Sure, it was utterly pointless and contained a nub of self-defeat about its very existence, but anything that was making people hyperventilate and send emails saying it makes you seem "like a grouchy spoil sport" couldn't be all bad.

But today, Tom Morello has joined in, squishing the last specks of joy out of the campaign:

Morello has lent his support to the campaign, using Twitter to voice his approval.

"Rage's 'Killing In The Name' & The X Factor's goofy Christmas single are neck and neck for num one spot on UK chart," he wrote. "England! Now is your time."

Oh, for god's sake, Tom, it's not about you. The point was meant to be it's 'anything else', not your specific song. On the same label as the goofy Christmas single.

There are a few moments joy to be wrung from wondering how Fearne and Reggie on the Christams Top Of The Pops would cope with the awkward gear change from the Christmas number one to warming up audiences just switching on for the Queen's Christmas Message, but that's about as far as the joy goes.

Meanwhile, in a room somewhere in London...
- You mean our plan worked?
- It worked.
- People really are talking about it as a battle?
- They really are.
- And buying loads of copies of Rage...
- In similar quantities to the number of copies of Joe, thereby doubling Sony's Christmas sales? Yes.
- And it looks like a real race?
- It does, yes.
- Well, it's true. Just a couple of weeks after we were putting articles in the paper bemoaning how nobody voted on the Christmas number one any more, this has totally changed things. People are rushing through our doors to make wagers.
- We're selling double singles, when Joe wins the number one he'll look like someone winning a battle rather than a gameshow contestant who's won a prize... and...
- ... we're making millions on wagers.
- Everyone's a winner. All for something I got one of my interns to knock up on Facebook in a lunchtime, and a couple of calls to the press
- You, sir, are a genius, Mr. Cowell.
- And, you, sir, are a pleasure to do business with, Mr. Ladbrokes.

[awkward pause]

- You know that I'm not actually called Mr Ladbrokes, don't you?

Gordon in the morning: Christmas with the turkeys

A few days ago, Gordon was trilling that there was going to be a chart battle between Robbie Williams and whoeverwinsthexfactor for the Christmas number one.

Which makes it a bit strange that today he's announcing that George Michael is at the heart of the struggle:

GEORGE MICHAEL is the popstar who is saving Christmas - well, for the bookies at least.

Good old George is making the Xmas chart battle interesting for the first time in years by releasing December Song (I Dreamed Of Christmas).

So... does that mean Williams getting involved doesn't make it interesting?

The former WHAM! star can take credit for penning Last Christmas, one of the finest festive tracks of all time.

... which stalled at number two.

And given that Michael hasn't bothered the number one slot since Fastlove in 1996, is his entry into the competition a bit like John McEnroe turning up for next year's Wimbledon with a bat rather than a microphone?

But hold on, because Christmas could get even worse:

I can also reveal that COLDPLAY frontman CHRIS MARTIN has a belter of a Christmas song which has been burning a hole in his MacBook for more than 12 months now.

It should be pointed out that Martin has no plans to release this song.

Gordon, though, feels he should because he's had a Christmas number one before:

Chris gave us the last non-X Factor Christmas No 1...

Is your face as puzzled as mine as you try to remember Coldplay being number one at Christmas?

...with the reworked Band Aid single, Band Aid 20.

Does that really count?

I suppose that at least Smart's not suggesting we ring up Status Quo.

Gennaro Castaldo Watch: Jackson not actually all that popular after all

How soon we forget, it turns out. Just a couple of months ago, Michael Jackson was a giant of modern music, peerless and loved as much as a singer could be. Now, it turns out the This Is It album might struggle to reach the half-million sales mark.

Whoever can explain such a situtation? Step forward premier HMV Jackologist, Gennaro Castaldo:

"At the time of his death the response was very emotional," said Gennaro Castaldo, spokesman for the HMV music retail chain.

"But there is a question as to whether that is as potent this time around. There is not that emotional intensity."

In other words, then, we've gone from thinking that Jackson is the bestest thing ever to have happened, to wondering if he's actually anywhere near as good as that Cheryl Cole.

Talking of whom, she's number one. Can you explain that, Gennaro? Why, yes, he can:

Gennaro Castaldo, head of press at music giant HMV said: “Cheryl’s smashed it. She’s got the best-selling single of the year so far.

That is thanks to her broad appeal and superstar status.”

So she's popular because, erm, she's popular. Hold it, Gennaro - don't let too much daylight in on magic, there.

Gennaro Castaldo Watch: Making more excuses for The Beatles

So, after all that effort, all that promotion, The Beatles trot in a fifth place, far behind Vera Lynn.

Vera Lynn. The kings of the 60s beaten to a sales pulp by someone from two decades before. I've heard the streets of Ditchling are ringing with the observation about revenge being a dish best served cold.

Meanwhile, with the sudden revelation that people couldn't really care that much about The Beatles, we're now in scrabbling-around-for-an-explanation phase. Gennaro Castaldo has been working on this already, of course:

HMV's Gennaro Castaldo said the fact the Beatles albums went on sale late in the week damaged their chances of a number one.

He said: "We've seen huge demand for the remastered Beatles albums since Wednesday, but sales have been spread across all the releases, especially the box sets.

"The fact they were only out for four days also seems to have counted against their prospects of a number one."

Oh, yes. The Beatles have a massive fan base who will only buy records on Mondays and who would not go near a record shop on any other day and, naturally, that means that wouldn't buy any of the records. Apart from all the box sets. They still went out to buy the box sets, apparently. Although the box sets didn't sell that many, either, so it doesn't look like even if they had been swapped for individual sales the records would have gone any higher. And there were some dudes in Peterborough who said for sure they were going to buy all the albums, but they were waiting for the cheques from this thing they did for a bloke down the pub to come in, and if you count those sales, and treat all the sales as two, because originally they were two-sided records, they win, right?

Gennaro Castaldo Watch: Did anyone here remember Vera Lynn?

What was it again, Gennaro? The Beatles were going to dominate this year?

HMV’s Gennaro Castaldo said: “This is likely to prove one of the cultural highlights of the year.”

The Beatles were going to roll over the competition?

Gennaro Castaldo at HMV told the Evening Standard: "We feel there's every chance that The Beatles will dominate the top 20 next week, even with only four days sales compared with other artists.

"Chances are Sgt Pepper and Abbey Road will battle it out for the No.1 spot against the current incumbents - the Arctic Monkeys."

Hang about... you're sounding less certain, Gennaro.

But still, by the time you spoke to the Star, you thought that might only be the odd non-Beatle album at the top:

HMV spokesman Gennaro Castaldo said: “The Official Chart Company has decided to treat the boxset as a single product rather than a set of individual albums.


“Although this will propel the boxset into the charts in its own right, it is hitting sales of the albums themselves and may well deny the opportunity of a purely Beatles top 10."

So... Sergeant Pepper, Abbey Road and - possibly - the Arctic Monkeys duking it out for the top of Beatles dominated top ten, then, Gennaro?

Although oddly, it turns out this week's battle for Number One is between Vera Lynn and Jamie T, with The Beatles putting in solid-but-hardly-earth-shattering appearences down the list. But to be fair, who saw that coming?

Um... you say you did, Gennaro?

Gennaro Castaldo of retailer HMV said: "Dame Vera has been steadily selling albums every day since her new release came out. We're seeing huge Beatles sales around the country, but the purchasing by fans is being diffused over a wide range of Beatles titles.

"Not only does Dame Vera look set to block the historic return of the Beatles, but she will also set the record as the oldest person ever to hold the top spot - an incredible feat by a remarkable lady."

But wasn't the release of all the albums a... what was the phrase you used Gennaro - "“We’re effectively looking at the most definitive Beatles survey ever, which will prove beyond doubt which is the most popular Beatles album among the public”? So what two days ago was a definitive survey has now become a diffusion of sales?

Or is it the box set which has cost the Beatles sales? But since the Box Set doesn't appear to have sold enough to trouble the top 20, it can't have taken that many sales away from the individual albums, can it?

Gordon in the morning: An awkward celebration

Here are some boys drinking Mr. Murdoch's best sparkling wine:

Somewhat unfortunately, this appears on the front page of Bizarre under the heading "JLS celebrate No1 by ditching girlfriends", which makes the whole thing look even more uncomfortable. Has Gordon replaced the girlfriends? Or is he merely celebrating them being dumped?

As you'd expect, the story isn't quite true, anyway - the band haven't "celebrated" getting to number one by dumping their girlfriends:

JB said: "We've all broken up with long-term girlfriends in the last few months due to complications."

And the celebration itself? Are you sure you're celebrating the number one, Gordon?

I grabbed the boys to toast their chart success and hear how they were coping with life in the spotlight.

Ah. Yes. Well done all round, then. It's just a little surprising that you're all wearing the same clothes that you had on last week when Gordon "returned" your "lost" CDs:

Perhaps they just don't own many clothes. I mean, imagine you were being asked to drink a toast to your success days before you'd actually achieved it - how awkward would that photo look, eh?

Not so historic after all, then

After all that waiting, all that press, and the best Guns N Roses can manage is runner-up to The Killers.

Oasis or mirage?

Over in the album charts, meanwhile, let's not snigger at the mighty Oasis album slipping off the number one position after a single week; especially not at the Brothers Gallagher being unseated by Keane.

Albert Memorial Still There

Since when was Cliff Richard doesn't have a number one hit single news?

Gordon in the morning: Whatever, you want?

Gordon is predicting big things for Status Quo:

THERE is a good chance STATUS QUO will be No1 this Christmas.

What? Whatever can you mean?

No, I haven’t been in Dr Who’s Tardis and found myself back in 1986 wearing stonewash denim, a white T-shirt and waistcoat.

Well, thank goodness for that. Although if you had gone back to 1986, you wouldn't be writing in a newspaper in 2008 anyway, would you?

No, Gordon is basing his prediction on a Scooter-Status Quo mash-up which is going to be released to try and spoil December.

What's funny is that the record is dreadful, but Smart clearly doesn't want to commit to condemning it out of hand just in case he can pad out his December 27th column with an "I predicted it" piece. So it's almost impossible to tell what he really thinks:

The song is already being played in clubs and the re-hash, based on Quo’s famous guitar riff, has gone down as well as a cheap alcopop.

As in everyone is filling themselves up with it? Or that people think it's cheap and leaves them feeling queasy before throwing up and swearing never again?

Then there's this frankly baffling statement:

They are Germany’s most successful ever singles act.

The band consists of MICHAEL SIMON, HP BAXXTER and RICK J JORDAN.

They sound like a collection of men responsible for this rubbish.

Is it just me or is listing the members of a band and then saying "well, that sounds like the sort of people who would make the record they've made" actually a less worthwhile way of filling a line of space than, say, just repeatedly hitting the ! key?

Elsewhere, Gordon spins Russell Brand and Britney Spears being in the same restaurant at roughly the same time into a possible romance:

Stranger things have happened...

Well, yes. But a cat giving birth to a litter of snakes is slightly different from two people going to eat at one of the most over-exposed restauarants in Los Angeles.

I topped the charts

Katy Perry's I Kissed A Girl is number one on downloads alone; furthermore, most of those downloads were due to op-ed writers trying to work out if the song is homophobic or merely tiresome.

Cliff aims for number one... again

Cliff Richard is battling against time to get a number one - he's hit the number one spot in every decade since the 1840s [check this] but hasn't managed anything since the Millennium. So, he's trying to persuade his legion of fans to get behind his new single, Thank You For A Lifetime:

"I may be greedy, but to notch up a number one after 50 years would be just fantastic. I've got the song, I can only hope for the support."

At Cliff's age, hoping for support is a common feeling.

It doesn't seem to have occurred to Cliff that the reason why he had hits in the previous decades was because he had some decent songs - except for the 1999 Millennium Prayer, which we suspect might have only sold because some Christian groups thought it would somehow upset Radio One. That Cliff is trying this time with a song about himself, rather than Jesus, might prove to be his undoing.

Sixteen months, Cliff: the clock is ticking. See if you can't rustle up a new Wired For Sound.

The downside, of course, is that if he does manage it this decade, we're going to have to go through this all over again at some point before 2019.

Coldplay on top

As has been predicted for weeks, Coldplay's album has gone to number one. Or, as the NME excitedly put it:

Coldplay's 'Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends' has taken the Number One spot in the UK Album Charts tonight (June 15), despite only being available to buy for three days.

Well, yes. Only available for three days. True.

On the other hand, it's a fairly quiet time of the year for major act releases, and they did have a dump bin in every record-selling shop I went in to over the weekend, from Borders to Tesco; and they had a massive advertising campaign and an even larger media push (not entirely hurt by Martin's attention-seeking flounce out of Front Row, of course.) Oh, and it's Father's Day, so demand for a CD by a band interchangeable with aftershave or socks is going to be quite high.

It's a triumph for EMI, certainly. Let's hope Guy doesn't sack anyone in the marketing or press departments - surely they've earned every pound this week?