Showing posts with label bisexuality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bisexuality. Show all posts

Thursday, January 05, 2017

Boy George giggles his way through biphobia

When it comes to attitudes to bi people, some gay people can be the worst.

Boy George has performed a public service by reminding us of this.

That tweet - that saying "I'm bisexual" is a lie - is bad enough.

The way George has dealt with being called on this is worse.

He's fallen back on a "how can I be biphobic when I'm so fabulous defence" and to chunter on about "steaming white rice" when anyone tries to call him on it.

Anyone who nods along with George, though, gets a thumbs up:

Oh, gee, thanks, Mr Boy, for allowing that some people might not be lying about being bi - although perhaps even that is undermined by doing it while agreeing with this:

This, it seems, was "George's point" all along. Some people might identify as bi as their sexual identity pulses through towards something else; but the reverse can be true - back in the 80s, the lack of bi role models and dismissiveness of bisexuality made it easier to identify as gay as a halfway house to being able to identify as bi. I know this from experience, not as a theory.

I understand that George thought he was making a joke; I also think when George insists he doesn't believe he's biphobic that he's probably genuine. Like a lot of gay people, he thinks that simply allowing bi people on his bus is enough.

But it's not. If you're first thought when someone tells you they're bi is that they're only half-baked, a person whose souffle has yet to rise, you've got a problem.

We wouldn't let someone telling gay-attacking jokes get away by calling "bantz." We shouldn't let Boy George off with the same defence, no matter how much glitter he throws behind it.


Saturday, January 03, 2015

Shayne Ward's heart is in the right place, kind of

Shayne Ward has given an interview to Attitude, in which he sort-of says the right things, but not quite:

I get called gay all the time. Normally, from a jealous boyfriend of a girl who’s a fan or a group of guys in a pub shouting at me because I’m a pop star. It doesn’t bother me. I am very thick skinned and can handle situations very well. Plus half of the idiots shouting abuse are probably hiding in the closet and fancy me as well. Ha! I’ve always known I was straight thanks to my brother’s collection of magazines. I love boobs. If I were gay my family are amazing and wouldn’t shut out anyone. They’d never have a problem if any of my family said they were gay. Only welcoming arms full of love!”
First of all: Shayne, honey: your last top ten single was in 2007, nobody is doing anything because you're a "pop star".

It sounds all vaguely positive, though: I don't mind if people call me gay, and even if I was, my family wouldn't mind.

Except, leaving aside the complete erasure of the possibility of bi or pansexuality from his world, there's something problematic about the suggestion that being called gay is something that requires "a thick skin". And the "they're calling me gay because they're probably gay" is hardly very socially aware when you come to it.

But mostly, it's the pop star thing.


Friday, July 18, 2014

Lady GaGa follows Jessie J's lead; returns bixesuality paperwork

Missed this at the start of the month, but caught up with it via the estimable and admirable Biscuit webzine: Lady GaGa has moved on from saying she's bisexual to, apparently, forgetting:

“Atlantic City Baby. Straights celebrating their pride by unLEASHING our gayness. @thedirtypearls @tommylondon Be proud. We were born this way. #TellemAsia”

… and so famously “bisexual” star Lady Gaga revealed to her Instagram followers that she now considers herself “straight”.
Usual caveats about how your sexual identity is, precisely, your sexual identity and that all our identities are fluid, of course; but even so... there's a lingering sense that maybe GaGa was wearing bisexual for exactly the same reasons she wore a meat dress: not because it was comfortable, but to try and get a reaction.


Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Jessie J resigns her bisexuality

Obviously, people's sexuality can change over their lifetime - both in terms of what they find attractive, and in how they choose to define themselves.

Having said that, Jessie J's sudden announcement that she isn't bisexual any more gives the impression of someone trying to distance themselves from a marketing campaign for a brand which has moved on.

She wrote: “Remember the thing that you tried/did back in the day. The phase you had? That is so not YOU anymore?! And you look back and think wow how I’ve changed.
Jessie, the idea that bisexuality or pansexuality is a "phase" tends to be a concept used by people who aren't bisexual or pansexual.
“Something that you don’t even talk about or want to talk about anymore. Because you’ve moved on? That was just part of you growing up? Discovering yourself and working out what you liked and disliked…. Remember?

“I have those too. Yet I’ve noticed some people hold onto mine because they were blogged and put into the media."
It wasn't "blogged and put into the media" - you chose to talk about in Cosmopolitan, it was you who chose to take bisexuality and try it on for a bit.
“I have felt under pressure since being famous to be what some people want me to be for them! I have learnt that the hard way. It’s too much!

“[People] can change. As they should. And I have changed and grown up ALOT, and that’s allowed. And I feel more comfortable in my own skin now than ever before. We all are on a journey and I refuse to feel boxed and judged because of how I felt once!”
Let's accept that this isn't just someone trying to disown a bandwagon they once jumped upon, and do J the courtesy of taking at her word the idea that she was bisexual, once, for just long enough to issue a press release and then it went away.

Instead, let's just look at the way she's chosen to de-announce her bisexuality.

There's a general sense that she finds the idea of being bisexual something of a teenage embarrassment - which is a chilli in the eye for those of us who remain as bi as they were yesterday morning.

There's the use of the word "judged". Surely the reaction to someone judging you because you are, or were, bi - especially if you elbowed your way into the community in the first place, and that community were nothing but welcoming and supportive - is to question why people think that's something on which a person should be judged at all.

You'd hope if someone came up to Jessie J and said "ewwww, you're bisexual and that's disgusting", her reaction would be "no it isn't" rather than "no I'm not."

You would hope that someone who had chosen to share the identity of a group which suffers from high levels of mental illness and stress might, at the very least, withdraw from that group without making it look like she was recoiling in horror from a terrible youthful indiscretion.

In an attempt to try and clear things up, she spoke to the Mirror to try and throw a blanket of platitude over the mess:
Brilliantly, she also joked online that “vegetarians eat meat ­sometimes”. When asked about the comment yesterday, she said: “I thought that was quite funny.”
Actually, Jessie, no; vegetarians don't "eat meat sometimes". You're getting confused with people who claim to be vegetarian but actually aren't.

Also, you're comparing standing up, publicly and painfully distancing yourself from bisexuality with a person on a largely meat-free diet having a sausage roll?
She says of her past revelations: “I did talk about it, and I was open about it, and I do support being lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender - love who you want.

“That’s what I’m doing."
I think that's great news there for the bi community - I think we'd all had a nervous 48 hours over whether we'd all have to stop it for good now Jessie's thrown it in. How generous of her to not only licence our sexual identities, but to support us, too. Even if we've chosen the one that is horrible to have blogged.
“I don’t regret anything I ever said."
It's not clear here if J is not regretting saying she was bisexual, or regretting that long series of Tweets where she spoke about how she regretted saying she was bisexual.
"I’m just so bored of it"
Oh, goodness. It turns out being thought bisexual is boring. How lucky to be able to slew it off when it become tiresome.
"I want to stop talking about it completely now and find myself a husband."
It might come as a shock to Jessie, but being bisexual doesn't actually prevent you from finding a husband if you're a woman. Hell, these days it doesn't prevent you from finding a husband if you're a man.

You're in a national newspaper suggesting that bisexual people have to renounce their sexuality if they want to have a permanent relationship. Did you even think how that looks?

It's hard to see how anyone could make this worse, but then she manages it:
She adds: “It’s a true struggle. All the chick flicks that didn’t make sense to me, I now understand – Sex and the City is real!”
Bisexual people don't understand chick flicks. It's true; if you fill a cinema with bisexuals and show them When Harry Met Sally, they literally cannot see anything happening on the screen. There's something about our retinas which means the minute 27 Dresses comes on, we're rendered functionally blind.

That's how you can tell if you've been cured of bisexuality - you suddenly start seeing Richard Gere and Julia Roberts on the Pretty Woman DVD box.

Do you want to just pat us on the head before you leave, Jessie?
“For me, it was a phase,” she says. “But I’m not saying bisexuality is a phase for everybody."
Oh, how very, very generous of you. How very kind.


Monday, December 02, 2013

Robbie Williams: I am the 49%

And while we're going through the pile marked "people saying stupid things about homosexuality", it would be wrong to let any more time slide by without recording Robbie Williams' contribution to sexuality studies:

In an interview with the Daily Star, he said: "I love musical theatre and a lot of the other things that are often associated with gays. I am 49% homosexual and sometimes as far as 50%.
I know what you're wondering: How come Williams doesn't score any higher?
However, that would imply that I enjoy having a particular sort of fun, which I don't.
I believe some straight people have expressed surprise at this discovery that the final exam before you get your gay certification works like this, but it's true. Growing up, we've all, surely, had to comfort someone who had put in the hours rimming, cruising, fisting and bitching but failed to get a pass mark because they did poorly on the Rogers And Hammerstein paper. "Sorry, Tom, you know the rules - you might have aced the practical, but if you can't remember the order of the Favourite Things, you're not gay-worthy."

Robbie: Being gay isn't about "liking musical theatre". God only knows what you've got on your list of of "other things associated with the gays" are, but I don't think it matters. Like rimming, cruising, fisting and bitching, those activities like musical theatre and those other things in your mind? They're things that some gay people might do - equally, they're things that some straight people do. Bisexuals do them, too. And pansexuals. But they don't define your sexual orientation.


Thursday, April 19, 2012

Gordon in the morning: A morning outing

The Sun has been dribbling out extracts from the Simon Cowell book all week - the suspicion that Sun staff might struggle with the reading borne out by the fact that it appears to take two people to copy chunks out and pretend it is interesting. They've bought a second book, too, a muck-rakey story about Jessie J. As a result, today's front page is especially unedifying:

Jessie gay
Simon NOT gay
Voice star 'is a secret lesbian'
Cowell: I'm totally straight

POP beauty Jessie J is 100 per cent lesbian, an explosive book claims.
Yes, the front page of a national newspaper is given over to a claim about a young woman's sexuality based on a book that isn't even about her.
The Voice judge, 24, was ordered to hide the truth from fans by claiming to be merely bisexual, the unauthorised biography says.
What? "Merely bisexual"? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Besides "demeaning to bisexuals". Does the paper believe that bisexuality is somehow the easy option? That isn't true.

Oh, but it's trendy, isn't it?
The Voice judge, 24, was ordered to hide the truth by record bosses to avoid turning off male fans, the unauthorised biography says.

They advised the star to say she was a bisexual who liked boys AND girls, because that was trendy.
That'd be right, as no man has ever had a sexual fantasy featuring a lesbian, ever. That's a fact.

Does The Sun really think that outing people - or, rather, choosing to disparage their own choice of self-sexual identification - is what a newspaper should be doing in 2012?

The author of the book, Chloe Gavin, claims:
“Being gay would alienate people. They knew how important image was and asked her to tone it down a bit.

“There are so many homophobes out and there were fears of a career-damaging backlash.”
It's true - being bisexual really takes the huff out of the homophobes. Who can forget Westboro Baptist Chruch, picketing funerals with signs saying 'God hates fags - if only you'd had sex with a woman from time to time, that would have been alright'.

There's a stern warning at the foot of the page:
© The Sun. Our lawyers are watching.
Presumably not lawyers who understand the bit about the right to a private life. Although, given how their company hacked and trailed solicitors, that's a typo and should read 'we're watching your lawyers'.


Saturday, June 19, 2010

See you, Sia

Sia is preparing to sort of retire from music - or at least the music industry:

"I'm going to promote the shit out of this record. I'm seeing it as an investment.

"After this record I'll make records and I'll put them out but I will not promote or tour them. I'll just write pop songs for other people."

And the main reason she's quitting? Partly the demands of the major labels - in her case, Sony:
"I've never been a 'priority' before," she told The Age.

"This buzz doesn't just come because of a good song. It's marketing. Which is sick. This is a sick business. It's so sad. Knowing now what goes into making a successful artist, it's disheartening."

But she's also had enough because of the behaviour of Perez Hilton:
"When I was outed by Perez Hilton as bisexual, I suddenly started being asked a lot of personal questions, which was really difficult. I'd had a relationship with a woman when I was 20, but nobody cared then.

"As it came at the same time as my fame, it made me withdraw, and I started to have panic attacks. It was then that I was prescribed antidepressants - fame made me develop a panic disorder."

Well done, Perez. Thanks - once again - for your contribution to making culture just a little less glittery.


Thursday, January 21, 2010

Bi-ly Minogue

It's probably getting on for twenty years since - at the peak of her IndieKylie years - Kylie Minogue was interviewed by Bobby Gillespie for Select and announced she was trisexual. As in try anything once. It was a bit more original back then.

So it's not entirely clear why everyone is acting all surprised at her latest, similar mutterings:

"I have been attracted to some women."

"I am a sexual exhibitionist and part of me is a natural flirt. Although I have been attracted to women, I have never done anything with them."

It's worth noting that this is an interview with the Spanish language magazine Max Mexico. You might wonder if it has lost a little something in translation, if not about the veracity of the original quote.


Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Beth Ditto: biphobic or blinkered?

We're not actually sure if Beth Ditto is biphobic, or if she just hasn't quite got the capacity to understand what "bisexuality" means. But she's had a pop at Angelina Jolie:

Gay singer BETH DITTO has hit out at actress ANGELINA JOLIE's claims she's bisexual, insisting she wouldn't be dating BRAD PITT if she was.

Eh? What on earth does that mean, Beth?
"If she were actually a lesbian she'd be with a woman."

Uh... yes. That's why she's always said she's bisexual, Beth. You have to hope that she's not one of what we'd hoped were an almost-extinct type of homosexual, the sort who believes that there's no such thing as bisexuality and believe that all bisexuals are either gay people who are too scared to "properly" come out or straight people who are trying to make themselves more interesting.

If Beth Ditto were actually as feminist and sassy as she's supposed to be, she wouldn't come out with such monosexist cant.


Monday, December 02, 2002

Watching the Google detectives

After a flurry of searches on "David + Beckham + Popbitch" (and variations thereof), we're seeing a sudden surge in "Jeremy Clarkson Popbitch." We don't know, frankly.

In unrelated news:

"It's funny. I managed to sit through a whole episode of the new Channel 4 homo-drama, Queer as Folk, and at no point did I think, 'I'd like to try that.'"

Jeremy Clarkson in the Sunday Times, reprinted in the Guardian, 15 March. Don't worry Jeremy, none of us fancy you either.

[From BiWatch].

So it's not that, then.