Happy New Year All!

And here's to 2012!

Medical Advice From Laurie Penny

Having a boob job is not like having a tooth pulled.

Well, thanks for that. And who better to take such advice from, than the nation's premier tit?

But what makes women undergo such medical indignities, Laurie? Vanity? Too much time on their hands?

Among the very worst things contemporary capitalism does to women is its manipulation of our desire for independence, our legitimate longing to be confident and respected, in order to sell us shoes, handbags and dangerous medical procedures.

Oh. Of course. It's capitalism. Silly me...

Make Up Your Minds! Part 2579

Daniel Matthews (PhD candidate and sessional lecturer in law at the Birkbeck Law School, University of London) on the iniquities of the bankers:

The task, it seems, is to find the few rotten apples that somehow manage to bring an entire system into disrepute.

Well, since that seems to be the 'Guardian' approach to every social worker scandal that winds up with a dead child and a lot of social workers suddenly looking shifty, why not?

In every case, the figure of the rogue is evoked to apportion blame and ask for forgiveness. It's always just one or two rogue individuals, states or institutions that emerge as the unique source of blame for an entire system's failure. The rogue is blamed but ultimately the system that produces it is forgiven.

Is that sauce you've been serving to the goose suddenly too bitter for the gander?

Dante's Little Known 10th Circle Of Hell: Staffordshire

Where the pub landlord has a four-legged bouncer:

Joanne Wallbanks, mitigating, said Fullerton is a "troubleshooter" in difficult pubs and worked hard to improve The Foaming Tankard.

Having your American Bulldog eat troublesome customers seems a strange way to achieve that...

Where the beautiful people gather to celebrate.... something:

Stoke-on-Trent Crown Court yesterday heard Rogers, pictured...

ARRRGH!!! My eyes!

Stuart Muldoon, mitigating, said Rogers, who has 24 convictions for 70 offences, accepted a custodial sentence was inevitable.

But he said Rogers had committed only one offence of theft since this assault last summer.

He's practically a saint!

Where chivalry went to die:

The 28-year-old also threw things at the windows of a house in Ladybank Grove, Blurton, and stamped on a family memorial before striking the woman on the arm with the sword.

He might have let her fetch her shield first...

Peter McCartney, defending said: “He knows he is going to custody. That night he had drunk too much and he is honest about the reason he embarked on this offence. He was seeking revenge.

“He has since learnt that the assault was not actually the case and he admits he makes a fool of himself in drink.

“He is genuinely sorry for what he has done. He accepts his behaviour was disgusting and he is highly embarrassed.

“He takes this stance to allow everyone involved to move on.”

So noble! A true gentleman.

"In..300 Yards...Drive...Like A Maniac..."

Not advice I've ever had from my sat-nav:

A satnav was partly to blame for a crash which killed a father, a judge said yesterday.

Then the judge is a complete moron.

Because, far from being one of those cases where an idiot blindly follows the sat-nav instructions down a too-narrow lane, or across a bridge that no longer exists, this crash was caused by dangerous overtaking...

Kadas-Tar, 33, a Hungarian working in Britain as a hospital porter, was driving home at 5am after seeing his girlfriend while Mr Summers, of Keighley, West Yorkshire, was on his way to work at the Silentnight factory in Barnoldswick, Lancashire.

Mr Summers was on the correct side of the road and travelling at a safe speed when Kadas-Tar's Ford Mondeo veered on to the wrong side to pass a lorry and smashed into him. Mr Summers died in hospital four hours later, Bradford Crown Court heard.

My brand of sat-nav doesn't give me overtaking instructions. I'm willing to bet this one, whatever it is, doesn't either:

The judge said driver Roland Kadas-Tar had placed too much faith in the satnav map of the road ahead near Broughton, North Yorkshire, when making the manoeuvre which was 'fraught with danger'.

'You paid insufficient attention to the reality of the road ahead of you,' said Judge Jonathan Rose.

'The road was curved, dim and the weather was appalling.'

He added: 'Your reliance on the satellite navigation system and its effect on your thinking was a contributing factor.'

The defence brief must have been spitting feathers he was pipped to the post with that load of hogwash.

Isn't it about time we stopped allowing people to blame anything and everything for their own failings?

Just To See Out 2011....

An 18-year-old woman has been raped in a pub car park in Sleaford.

The victim was discovered in a distressed state behind the Nags Head pub at 2.14am on Christmas Day and stated that she been raped and violently assaulted.

Disgraceful! Sharpen the pitchforks! Hunt down the...

Oh. Wait:

Police investigating a report of a rape in a pub car park in Lincolnshire have confirmed that no sexual assault took place.

I wonder how many of these we'll see in 2012?

Post Title Of The Month

MacHeath at Newgate News gives us a topical one (well, as topical as wind generators and Christmas can ever be):

Post Of The Month

A tie:

Velvet Glove, Iron Fist explores the world of unintended consequences.

*fans self*

Oh, my....!

Meanwhile, Anna Raccoon salutes 'The Quiet Man'.

Quote Of The Month

From DumbJon, on the strange priorities of the English justice system:

As it is, it now appears you can take part in a brutal rape and get exactly the same sentence Jeffrey Archer got for perjury.

Mercy, Followed By…?

Yesterday the 24-year-old, of Hipwell Crescent, Braunstone, Leicester, was given a suspended sentence after admitting neglect.

He said: "You have been guilty of neglect and, as a result of that, your child has died.

"Anyone who is a parent would know you don't leave children of that age unsupervised in the bath.

"I have to bear in mind what would be served by sending you to prison."

I can’t help but agree, in this case.

The court heard that Curtis, who died on September 10 this year, had been a well-nourished boy and was the youngest of Birch's three children.

The baby's father was banned from visiting their home while on bail for alleged domestic violence offences.

Hmmmm….

Birch was given a 12-month sentence suspended for two years. She was also ordered to attend a centre for victims of domestic violence.

Wait, what?

Why on earth is this tagged on to her sentence? What does it have to do with the offence? And why is it considered an extra 'punishment' for the offence she's committed?

What, do judges have targets for these things now?

Hey, Where's That Two-Way Street..?

Ch Supt Kevin Mulligan, divisional commander for Salford, said: "We have not established a clear motive for the senseless murder of Anuj and there is no definitive evidence pointing to it being racially-motivated.

"However, we are treating this as a hate crime based on the growing perceptions within the community it was motivated by hate.'

Sorry...?

You what, Kev, me old mucker? Are you havin' a giraffe?

Maybe you'd like to look Rhea Page in the eye (the swelling's probably gone down by now) and tell her that, eh?

And if she smacked you right in the kisser there's probably not a jury in the land that'd convict her.

Have I Mentioned How Much I Love Local Newspaper Comment Threads?

A group of youths who carried out a prolonged wave of antisocial behaviour in a quiet neighbourhood in Notts have been banned from the area.

The self-proclaimed "Colwick bad men" terrorised families and the elderly in Candle Meadow in Colwick.

Since January the group has terrorised residents by kicking down fences, smashing windows, ripping down CCTV camera, setting fires to hedges, drinking alcohol, smoking cannabis and smashing plants and garden ornaments.

And there it would have remained, just a story about ASBOs, until…

by justoneparent

“It says more about all YOU who have made such comments about this, not knowing the FACTS about the case, or for some of you, the people involved. Shame on you!
Does n't that make you the anonymous (hooded) cowards?

It says more about the state of our slanderous society, where people are all too keen to 'jump on the bandwagon' with their snobbish, self-righteous hostility. I bet I'd be shocked to discover the identity of some commentors! I bet YOU'VE got nothing better to do!

These young men are now not only tarred with this label ALWAYS, a great start in this dog eat dog society, but their loved ones have PUBLIC slander to contend with now.

Quite a result from a hyped up press article: as usual, using emotive language to exagerate a case, for which there was real no evidence. Thanks Nottingham Press. This 'quaint and respectful, peace loving, elderly community' suddenly became 'terrorised' by these youths. Yeah right! Check the facts.

The complainants were not elderly!

If you had seen the amateur dramatics in court by one: the claims of being driven to suicide! This witness always appeared happy to me, while all this was allegedly going on!

A case of a few getting heads together, because these youths were a DISTASTEFUL inconvenience to them to begin with. Aggravated by their own admitted in court aggression, the situation worsened.

Just think about the politics involved here: Notts County Council and Sneinton police for whatever reason deciding to 'come down heavy', at this particular point in time, on this estate. Plenty of anti-social behavior has always gone on here, as in most communities nowadays, sadly. (Check out the other article today about Notts police service.)

Just a short distance away I was driven out (after years of stress) of my home for such anti-social behaviour.

That was Gedling Borough and Gedling Homes: and guess what...they did very little! Thanks.

Instead of smugly judging other peoples parenting skills, put your energies into proactively doing something COLLECTIVELY about the real reason why we have to put up with 'anti-social behaviour' in our society today!

As I said, OUR culture is what is nuturing this disrespect, so are n't we all collectively responsible for it?

For the commentor who said they needed to get girlfriends at 16: I rest my case...is that truly your only answer to societies current problems?!!”

And with that, the floodgates were opened! Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of chavbaiting!

by Unique101

“"justoneparent", So just because you have suffered from anti-social in the past it is ok for your children to act in this manner?

The reason most people blame the parents is due to the fact you as a parent should take responsiblity for your childrens actions and respond accordingly to stop any illegal/anti-social activities from happening and hopefully pointing them in the direction of a good future.

The fact you come on here and attacked victims who you say have hyped it up some more but did not deny they had done many of their illegal acts against others says it all.

You then ask us to look into the real reason why any off us put up with anti-social behaviour. Well the answer to that is that we shouldn't and if the parents are not capable of looking after their children to stop this behaviour then I'm afaid it does need to be escaluated to the courts.

I also agree with the comment below in that they do not seem to have been punished for the fires, verbially attacking residents, kicking down fences, pulling down CCTV cameras, drinking (surely you noticed you children was drunk?) etc...

They have effective been told that if you go around that area again we will punish you this time!?!?!”

And - thanks to another commenter - they are YONA no more!

by faithinuzu

“I know one of the lads and hes the most polite and kindest boys i have ever met. .all kids get up to mischief and get mixed up with the wrong sort but thats all part of growing up. Its the sad people who have nothing better to do than sit there looking out of there windows and make up stories about there neighbours, who they dont like or never got to know. But because they are a different colour they are tarred with the same brush as the real thugs. Look at the real villians not the young impressionable youths of today”

But ‘justoneparent’ hasn’t quite finished, and has a few more yards of foot to cram into his/her mouth:

by justoneparent

“Interesting how some commentors need to return to school and learn correct grammar!

Yeah, surprised to see a very intelligent, articulate parent of one of these young men are you?

As I said, now thanks to a few sad peoples slander, their future hangs in the balance. Not due to parenting, as only so much is in our hands; then it ceases to be.

Make your mind up...are they kids, youths, or men. Then think... how much is still the responsibility of the parent?

I am all for dealing with the problem of anti-social behaviour, but who gets to define exactly what that entails? I bet you're anti-social in my book, but who cares about that?

The trumped up pretentious ones who can't string a sentence together, but think just because they own their own house, and like to brag about it, they have more entitlement to remove kids from outside of their house.

These fires, etc, barely mentioned in court...so your point is...? Anything at all to do with these lads?

The last commentor: you are a shining example of exactly whats wrong with our culture: everyone for himself, no respect for others.....find a young scapegoat to blame for it all.

SIMPLES!”

In fact, like the Duracell Bunny, they keep going and going and…

by justoneparent

“Oh! You mean the fact that two lads go to visit a friend on one little street, on one humble little estate, and ride bikes up and down outside, and hang out in his garden, or outside yours.

They smoke cannabis, and you find THAT offensive. So you call the police and they arrest one...charges dropped.

You dislike this neighbour, so you now go at all of the youths all guns blazing (not in a friendly manner) how are young people going to react to that? How very mature and diplomatic is that?

Thats because you are not. You are actually being anti-social yourself, are n't you. Now I could understand it if the complaint was for rowdy gangs late at night, but that has NEVER been the complaint.

So they retaliate with some verbal abuse. Which could be ignored (hey, just an idea...)

Now here's the surprise...

Thats how disrespectful they ALL are now because WE ALL: I REPEAT: WE ALL have made them so!

By ALLOWING ,without complaint, the greedy fat cat media and their TERRIBLE influences, not just freely available, but targeted at them all. So YOU are in part responsible for the verbal abuse that you may have suffered!

So these youths, not "yobs" or "chavs", so nicely labelled, testosterone all over the place, trying to find their place in the BIG, BAD, HYPOCRYTICAL, CONFUSING world that we live in, do a few silly pranks in retaliation.

In court, in your own admission, your neighbour that you dislike, was the main perpetrator, but by being there, loyal to their mate (only 16 don't forget) the two in the article are guilty by association. No proof, just heresay of a begrudging few households!

NO mention of the violent attacks on them in the biased press article!

A load of exageration, in order for you to stop the trouble that YOU have now been involved in escalating.

A load of rubbish being fed to the public via the media ("terrorising"; "gang" )
The authorities are using these three as an example (even stated in court): so that it might deter others. After all they have targets to meet in the county....

It all boils down as usual to money, the economy of Shottingham, and NOT a GENUINE wish to eradicate immoral and anti-social conduct.

If that was the case there would have to be such a dramatic overhaul of every individuals life in this country, and a massive rebellion against it for taking away their passive comfort blanket.

Besides, most people, like you, would not even understand why such steps would be necessary!

You're so brainwashed, you don't think! You just follow the crowd to be acceptable...you're so duped!

All you are witnessing in society today is a result of how sick OUR society is, and these uncomfortable experiences can conveniently be laid on the shoulders of the scapegoats.

Who cares if they could now become just another downtrodden, forgotten, unemployed statistic?

As long as you can stare at your T.V, without having to look at the youths outside smoking spli***,eh?”

'Infamy, infamy....they've all got it in for me!'

Congratulations, 'justoneparent', you win top prize in The Foot-In-Mouth Local Newspaper Comments Award.

The ‘Something Must Be Done!’ Generation

Since the accident parents, teachers and residents have criticised the use of the road, which combines parked cars, motorists and children getting to and from three different schools.

A campaign has been launched for School Road to be closed from 8am until 9.30am and between 2.30pm and 3.30pm.

Thus diverting all the traffic elsewhere, meaning that deliveries will have to be rescheduled, etc, etc.

And all for this one incident:

Witness Kyra Turnbull was walking along the street with her children Olivia, seven, and Alfie, eight. She was just feet away from the accident.She said: “The one in hospital is my little girl’s best friend.

“When she saw it happen right in front of her, she could not stop screaming.

“They have known each other since she was three.

“This morning she was asking, ‘will it happen again today?’ “You don’t want your children to be scared. We were just feet away. The lady with me was a nurse so she knew what to do.

“The emergency services were amazing. The paramedics were there almost instantly and the firemen just lifted the car right off her.”

It sounds pretty scary, yes. But why should the immediate knee-jerk reaction be the closing of the road?

Campaigners also want a school crossing patrol back in Monkwick Avenue. Petitions are now going around local estates.

Mrs Turnbull is supporting the call to get the road closed.

She said: “The road just needs to be shut. It is the only way to stop something like this happening again.

“This would not have happened if cars did not go down there.”

Really?

Because as we can see in the comments to the previous report of the accident, speed or inattention on the part of the driver may not have been the issue:

CarlaMarie78 says...

My thoughts go out to all involved in this horrific accident. Praying that the little girl is ok. Having known the driver of the car since I was 4 years old I can tell you she is a lovely lovely person and had very good reason to be driving That morning and believe me she is absolutely devastated over whats happened. Before we judge tho it is also children's parents responsibility to teach road safety and if your child doesn't know this then they should be accompanied safely to wherever they are going. It was an accident where a child walked right out in front of the driver and could have happened to anyone. I feel for all parties involved as it was not the child's fault she wasn't supervised by a responsible adult as much as it wasn't the drivers fault this child walked in the path of the car.

Hmmm. Like School Road itself, it seems that responsibility is a two-way street...

And should remain that way.

Finally! Carrot, Not Stick!

Schools are being encouraged to offer special meal deals to lure pupils away from local takeaways and into dining halls for healthier lunches.

The Department for Education is lifting restrictions that force schools in England to charge the same price for the same item for every pupil, in order to allow them to offer price promotions.

Sanity? In government policy? Well, I never!

The pilot, which offered children in 20 local primary schools all meals for £1 saw school meal numbers rise from 6,360 a week to an average of 11,242 during the first half of the spring term. Some schools more than doubled the number of children usually served. But when the North Somerset pilot, supported by the School Food Trust, finished, the council was unable to plug the financial gap. The price of school meals soon shot up to £2.

Ah. I see a drawback looming...

Councillor Lynda Mitchell, commissioning and contracts manager at North Somerset council, said: "If you do special offers and sibling discounts then that can be an awful lot of money. Without council funding it's proving impossible for the schools to take the extra hit."

Really, councillor? Can't you just...cut something else?

I mean, looking at your jobs site, do you really need that Area Officer job to 'improve and enhance the maintenance of the streetscene'? And I can't see why childcare should be the job of the council, so just get rid of those 'Early Years Sessional Worker' and 'Early Years Worker' posts and let the private sector pick up the slack.

And as for 'transporting students to and from our centres and on activities in our minibuses', well, can't they get the regular bus instead?

There! That wasn't so hard, was it?

Well, Actually, He Could ‘Help It’….

The partner of a father-of-two who was killed when the car he was driving hit a tree has spoken of his death for the first time.

Oh, such a sad story, and…

Oh. Wait:

Notts Police said Dale Wilson, 26, was driving a stolen car when he crashed in Moor Lane at 11pm on November 14.

Three police cars were following the vehicle at the time of the crash.

Ooooh, where’s my….

Ah, yes. Here it is:

Miss Lloyd said she is still unsure of the exact circumstances of the crash, which is making it difficult to come to terms with his death.

"I think all I want to know is how exactly he died, and if I find out he couldn't help it then my mind would be put at rest," she said.

He could have helped it though, couldn’t he? He could have:

a) Not stolen a car
b) Stopped when ordered to do so by the police, and
c) Worn a seatbelt.

Since he didn’t do any of those things, he’s dead. I can’t help feeling that, somehow, the world isn’t a poorer place, though.

Her parents Colin, 47, and Lynn, 48, are also hoping the investigation will give their daughter and grandchildren some answers.

The couple say Mr Wilson was like a son to them.

Mr Lloyd said: "It's awful those kids have been left without a dad three weeks before Christmas."

Doesn’t really sound like he was that much of a dad.

The comment thread (assuming it's still active by now) is, as expected, chav-tastic!

Absolutely Barking…

Around 450 pupils from eight different schools in Bromley took part in the Junior Citizenship Scheme at Malcolm Primary School, in Malcolm Road, Penge.

Bromley police joined forces with the London Fire Brigade, RNLI, TfL, parks services, UK Power Network, Tramlink and Battersea Cats and Dogs Home to help teach Year 6 students important safety lessons.

That’s a rather odd assemblage of services, isn’t it?

The Met's Junior Citizenship Scheme co-ordinator, Helen Andrews, said: "It's to really highlight some of the dangers the children might come across when they start the transition in to Year 7 and to make them aware of their responsibilities to act sensibly and responsibly."

OK, so, I can see why you’d involve the fire brigade, the lifeboatmen, the railways staff (I vividly remember the bloodcurdling lecture we all got at secondary school on the dangers of the live rail! Something that would never be said in today's litigious society...), but why Battersea Dogs Home..?

Youngsters met Frank, a six-year-old Staffordshire Bull Terrier, who was rescued and rehomed by Battersea Cats and Dogs Home.

They were told what signs to look out for when a dog is angry, playful and scared.

/facepalm

Once again, we can’t seem to crack down on the wrongdoers (chavs with out-of-control status dogs), so we’ll teach everyone else how to walk on eggshells around them…

Education officer for the animal charity, Amy Watson, said: "It's something Battersea has been doing for a long time. It's a good idea to make sure people of all ages, especially children, know how to behave around dogs, not only for themselves but so dogs do not get scared."

Well, I suppose there’s some small measure of sense in getting children (who may never have seen a dog at close quarters for cultural reasons) used to a dog’s natural method of behaviour and…

Oh:

Frank performed tricks for the pupils including rolling over, singing and weaving through his owner's legs.

*sigh*

Yeah, that'll help...

Ban BBC Documentaries, You Know It Makes Sense!

A BBC documentary about a Bristol murder made one viewer so angry he sent out a call to action on the internet asking people to attack a pub – and they did.

Or maybe ban the Internet? You just know someone somewhere’ll go for that…

But just what was this inciting documentary?

Scott Ryan watched Scenes from a Teenage Killing on BBC Four in January, a programme about the death of his friend Shevon Wilson.

Shevon had been stabbed to death outside the World's End Pub in St George in 2009.

That particular incident can be read about here:

James Patrick, prosecuting, said “handsome, polite and well-mannered” Shevon was out with friends on the night in question and the landlord had told some people outside the premises to stop sitting on his Jaguar.

The court heard that, later, Lengfeld left the pub and swore at Shevon, telling him to “get off the car” and Shevon told him a polite request would have been better, and advised Lengfeld to go back inside.

So, now we know (and check out the chavtastic comment thread!) the sort of people we are dealing with…

Bristol Crown Court was told that after taking exception to comments made in the programme by the landlord of the World's End, Ryan went onto social networking site Facebook and invited people to join a group called "Burn down the World's End".

Around 13 people joined the group that night, and in the early hours of the next day the pub's windows were smashed.

Clearly, none of the lowlife scum could read properly, or they’d have brought some matches…

Punishment? Why, no. Of course not:

The Recorder of Bristol His Honour Judge Neil Ford QC handed him a 52-week jail term, suspended for two years, with £500 compensation and £340 court costs.

I must try and catch this on a rerun, as it's too late for iPlayer, see if I come over all arson-y as a result…

Yr Doin’ It Wrong, Love…

…it’s rape claims, not knife attack claims:

Frankcom, who ran a shop in Deardengate, Haslingden, for 11 years, giving lessons in piano, keyboard, violin and guitar, claimed she was a victim of a series of knife attacks by the same offender.

Her own personal serial attacker!

She told the police she had been targeted by two males who had attacked her with a knife at her music shop on Bridge Street, Darwen on October 20, 2010.

She then claimed she had been the victim of a similar attack in a car park in Bath Street, Darwen, on November 3.

The third attack was reported on January 22, 2011 when Frankcom claimed she had been approached by the same offender as she put the rubbish out at her home on Astley Bank, Darwen.

She said the man had threatened her and slashed her arm with a knife before she managed to struggle free.

She also claimed she was receiving threatening text messages and letters to her home and shop.

And so they swung into action:

Detectives carried out forensic searches, house to house inquiries and CCTV analysis.

Not cheap. Not cheap at all.

And a completely wasted effort. She made it all up.

Speaking after sentencing, DI Mark Winstanley said: “Frankcom falsely claimed she was a victim of three very serious offences and we put a significant amount of resources into investigating her claims.

“This was a significant drain on police resources and whilst we would always urge all genuine victims to come forward and report incidents to the police, anyone making malicious claims will be dealt with robustly and brought to justice.”

Unless they make a false rape claim, in which case West Midlands Police'll let ‘em off with a FPN!

Frankcom will be sentenced in January .

One to watch…

Compare And Contrast....

Evening Standard:

School friend Munawar Shaikh, 20, described the dead youth as a "big personality" who always had a smile on his face. The pair grew up together in Mitcham, south west London and attended Rutlish School at the same time.

Mr Shaikh said: "I heard about it on social network sites. It's devastating, I had lost contact with Seydou but he was such a big personality and a person everyone in Mitcham would know. He was just a good kid who always had a smile on his face."

Daily Mail:

The victim was a member of the notorious London street gang ABM, which stands for ‘All ’Bout Money’, and the killer was believed to have been involved with the rival 031 Bloods. Territorial clashes between the two South London gangs have claimed several lives since 2007.

On YouTube, the victim appears in a homemade rap video in which he talks about guns and killing (see below). A known gangster, he was facing trial over charges of robbery and assault by beating in relation to an alleged attack in September.

On Boxing Day he is believed to have left his home on a council estate in Mitcham, South London, with other members of ABM with the intention of using the sales crush as cover for shoplifting.

You wouldn't believe they were talking about the same person, would you?

The 'Guardian' has much the same report as the 'Standard', though seems far more concerned with whether a taser was used on the 'angry youths' (the official line is 'no', the unofficial line is 'yes, but only in 'drive stun' mode', most people watching yesterday's video would have been happy to accept 'we rammed it down the little hoodrat's throat and fired until the batteries ran out').

The 'Independent' steers a half-way course. And the 'Times'? Well, as they are behind a paywall, no-one any longer cares what they think...

For some reason, over at 'Inspector Gadget's', this is seen as 'the general anarchy and violent criminality which inevitably follows recession and Tory governments' to which varying retorts spring to mind ('no street rats ever stabbed each other under the reign of the Sainted Tone & Gordo, then?''), the best of which seems to be 'we have a Tory government? Where?'...

I have to wonder why the commenters there so deplore the 'Mail'. It seems to be the only one with no hidden agenda. Perhaps that's the reason?

When ‘Buying Your Own Computer’ Is A Misleading Description…

Swansea councillors will have to buy their own computers rather than using authority- provided ones, it has been decided.

Excellent cost-cutting idea!

At present members can use council-provided computers and printers to help them in their work — though most choose to buy their own.

Now the council's cabinet has decided that from May 2012 the "opt-in" scheme will be scrapped, and all members will have to buy their own.

Hurrah! About damn time!

OK, it may be only one small perk, but I really don’t see why they should get the use of taxpayer-funded machines meant for council-workers.

Oh. Wait:

Councillors will receive an IT grant of £1,008 in year one, then payments of £200 per year for the next three years — however no receipts will be required, and the payments will be made automatically.

*weeps*

Is there no stopping them? I'm with Steve Shark - bring on the piano wire!

Arse-Covering….

Council officials have been ordering homeowners to remove any potential missiles that could be used in future attacks.

This is in the wake of the A12 incidents, of course.

Though, given all the varied things that could possibly be considered a ‘missile’ to the deranged individuals responsible, I think that’s quite an undertaking.

Richard Day, who lives just metres away from the A12 on Church Road, Mountnessing, was told by Brentwood Borough Council to hide or remove two bucket-shaped bollards which are used to stop people parking on the grass verge outside his house.

The 60-year-old was told that if he did not remove them he could face legal proceedings.

Because, no doubt, the council’s worried that they themselves could face the same, for allowing them on ‘their’ land.

If it is their land in the first place; there’s some dispute:

He said: "The county council has said that the borough council owns the land and Brentwood Borough Council has said that Lord Petre owns it.

"Neither seems to know what's going on.

But in any case they have told me to move them inside my gate.

"It is stupid. How is moving a bollard a few yards inside my gate going to change anything? All they have to do is walk into the property and pick it up from my garden."

Well, quite. But no doubt they are thinking of some way of prohibiting that too.

It’s what the authorities do now, because to be seen to be doing nothing at all can’t possibly pass muster.

I suppose if it gets rid of garden gnomes, it’ll be a blessing in disguise…

There Are No Words...

This YouTYube video did the rounds of Twitter last night; it shows the aftermath of (one of) yesterday's stabbings in Oxford Street, and the attempts of the youths 'friends' to push past the police cordon and...and what?

Who knows, but since he's covered in paramedics, it's doubtful they could do any more for him:



Old Holborn considers it a typical vignette of modern Britain (it isn't, see WoaR for a palate cleanser), and Leg-Iron wonders if there was a special on at knife shops.

Me? I just think we're going to see more and more of this, justifying various 'initiatives' and 'crackdowns' in the runup to the runandjumpandswimathon in the summer...

Meh! Close Enough! - Motto Of The 'Daily Mail' Photo Library

A driver under the influence of alcohol was charged after being stopped by police taking a deer that he had struck with his car to the nearby hospital.

This happened - where else? - in the states.

Lacking a picture of the actual scene for their readership, the 'Mail' photolibrary supplies this:

Yup. It's a red deer stag. Not something your average New Yorker is likely to hit in his car.

Maybe He’s The Guy Who Did For Dr Kimble’s Missus Too..?

A one-armed burglar was sent to prison after a court heard he had been stealing from people’s homes in Swansea for 35 years.

And people say the Welsh have no work ethic!

Leave your ‘Oh, he’s ‘armless really’ jokes in the comment box…

Ian Wright, for Coles, told the court: “The primary mitigation here is the guilty plea. ”

Not really, although I suppose it saves them the trouble of setting up an identity parade, which I'd think might be a bit tricky…

Knives Are Medicine Now…?

Martin Steen, prosecuting, said people were socialising on an area of grass when Hahn’s girlfriend and Mr Bosley argued.

He said: “Mr Hahn was called and the two men were squaring up to each other.

“Mr Hahn went into a garage and collected two knives, which he administered to Mr Bosley.”

‘Administered’ with such force, his pancreas was visible through the wound…

Christopher Smyth, defending, said that his client was provoked, and that there was a lack of premeditation and an element of excessive self-defence.

That’ll be the two…count ’em, two knives…?

The judge said although Hahn admitted a serious specified offence, he did not deem him dangerous by law and believed he showed remorse.

Does he believe in the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus too..?

Oh, Stop Making A Right Tit Of Yourself, Love…

A mother says she got a parking ticket as she breastfed her child in her car.

Yes. And..?

She didn’t get the ticket for breastfeeding, before the brealots arrive and begin screeching, she got it for illegal parking..

Talin Sellian, 28, got the ticket in New Steine, Kemp Town, Brighton, at about 10am on Monday.

She contacted The Argus to complain the parking warden who gave her the ticket had not stopped issuing it as she tried to speak to him.

Perhaps he was too busy looking down at his ticket-book in embarrassment?

She said she had had to pull in to feed her 11-month-old son, Tai.

She said: “If someone is in the car, they should be asking them to move on before printing a ticket."

Babies aren’t time-bombs, love. There’s no digital feeding countdown, they won’t reach critical mass and explode if you don’t whip out a nipple RIGHT THERE AND THEN.

Find a legal parking space, and you’re golden. See how that works?

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Here's hoping everyone is having a great Christmas!



Normal service will resume on Boxing Day!

'Freeze! Threatening Letter Squad, Love!'

'No, not that sort...'

Women in Knowsley whose loved ones are believed to be involved in gun crime are receiving special Christmas cards this year.

Note that: 'believed to be'. Not 'are' or 'have been previously'. This is just those suspected of it.

Well, I'm sure the police never get anything wrong, like raid the wrong house, or shoot the wrong guy, so I'm sure it's ok, and there won't be a huuuuuuuuge fuck-up when they deliver it to the wrong name and address and the furious occupant goes straight to the 'Daily Fail'...

The cards, sent by Merseyside Police and Knowsley Council, show a Christmas tree surrounded with presents on the front says, "Looking forward to a nice family Christmas?" and on the inside it says, "make sure your son is there to enjoy it too, don't let guns ruin your family's Christmas".

Tasteful!

It is hoped the message will appeal to the emotions of the mothers, grandmothers, girlfriends and aunties of the offenders and encourage them to take immediate action to get their loved ones away from gun crime and prevent them from being injured or at worse killed.

Which rather presupposes that the 'mothers, grandmothers, girlfriends and aunties' aren't:

a) totally unable to influence their menfolk whatsoever and/or

b) just as bad as them.

H/T: anon in comments

If They Can’t Get You For That…

A sinister story from Angry Exile's territory:

An increasing number of people searched for drugs but not found to be carrying them after being identified by police sniffer dogs are being charged or cautioned for angry outbursts against police.

Note, it doesn’t say ‘assaults’, just ‘outbursts’.

Clearly, if you are anything less than cringingly obsequious or complimentary towards the authorities, you can expect retaliation…

The NSW Greens MP David Shoebridge, who requested the government figures, said there was no excuse for poor behaviour towards police, but questioned the value of intrusive body searches on people suspected of carrying drugs, where in the vast majority of cases no drugs were found.

Good point, David, good point.

So, what do the police have to say about this? Some variation of ‘can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs’, perhaps? Blaming the dogs for being, well, just animals after all, and therefore not 100% accurate?

The Police Minister, Mike Gallacher, said yesterday he supported the use of sniffer dogs, which had a highly acute sense of smell and could detect on people traces of drugs or explosives even after they had been discarded.

Ah. Right. OK, I wasn’t expecting that…

The answer isn’t that ‘the dog made a mistake’, it’s ‘you had drugs/weapons but you got rid of ‘em’ before we stopped you!'.

‘Guilty until proven innocent’ seems to have given way to ‘guilty even when proven innocent, but we can’t do anything about it…yet’.

I don’t know about you, but I think I preferred it when Aussie cops were represented in fiction by Max Rockatansky, rather than by Judge Dredd’s far less reasonable and even-handed twin…

Oh, Well, If It Was ‘Unplanned’….

…then of course you should be let off:

Ishan Dave, defending, said that Habib was in the area at the time and saw looters.

He said: 'Her son began crying for some toys and she went into the shop.

‘She picked up the box in an opportunistic and unplanned manner.

‘She understands she made a mistake. She is very impressionable young woman with thinking skills difficulties who needs considerable care and support.’

But do we have any evidence that she has these ‘thinking skills difficulties’?

He also claimed the box was empty.

Ah. Right. Yeah, that’ll be what I was looking for….

Habib, from Canning Town, admitted burglary and was given an eight month sentence suspended for 18 months, given a curfew keeping her at home between 8pm and 6am, told to complete 20 days activities with probation services and 40 hours unpaid work.

That’ll teach her!

And I pity the child. No doubt it’ll be featuring on my blog in a few years time…

On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas, Multiculturalism Gave To Me...

…unevictable additions to the criminal classes:

Alphonse Semo, 54, was jailed for eight years for the rape and at the end of his term was due to be sent back to the Congo.

However two hours before his flight he was given permission to marry his girlfriend and stay in the country.

Now a judge has allowed the father-of-five to be released from an immigration detention centre.

But hey, since he’s tagged, what’s the worst that could happen?

Also, workers who are fluent in...anything but English, Tube disruption caused by foreign disputes, 'honor killings' (otherwise known as murder), new and interesting ways to break smoking laws, names on court listings that sound like they came out of a bag of ‘Scrabble’, many interesting and lucrative jobs for lawyers, new and interesting methods of fraud, a feeling of being 'untouchable', the marginalising of our Christian heritage, the concept of victim perception of racism and a partridge in a cardboard box.

Footnote: When I started this series (after spotting the partridge story) I was expecting to have to go back and raid my (or other bloggers) previous stories for the other eleven. Little did I know I'd be spoiled for choice in the current news...

Today, Canada. Tomorrow….Here?

The City of Cornwall has voted to limit its online advertising money to media outlets that keep a close eye on what councillors consider "offensive or inflammatory" content.

Yes, this is indeed in the Canada that Heather Mallick seems to think is becoming some sort of right-wing paradise.

However, the motion doesn't define what "offensive of inflammatory" means.

Well, of course it doesn’t! That’s up to the Kommisars…errr, I mean ‘councilmen’ to decide, isn’t it?

Coun. Andre Rivette said it's clear that too many Cornwall residents take advantage of the anonymity of the internet to attack others.

"You can comment all you want, but be respectful," Rivette said, offering some examples.

Oooh! This’ll be good….

"Personal attacks are comments that use the term 'sleazy' or 'crooked' to refer to people or groups of people, to refer to people in city politics," he said.

Because these paragons of virtue are never, ever sleazy. Or crooked. Right?

Terry Tinkess, the co-ordinator of the journalism program at St. Lawrence College, said online commentators often feel emboldened to post hurtful statements due to their anonymity on the internet.

"There's no doubt that some people do get a little bit out of control. When you can sit in front of the keyboard, you tend to say things you wouldn't say face-to-face," he said.

Still, Tinkess said, councillors may have to learn to deal with that and develop thicker skins.

They don’t do ‘learning’, or ‘dealing with things’. They just do ‘silencing the critics’…

"I think they need to get some better parameters to determine what is and what's not inflammatory," he said. "Anybody that goes into the public sector, they have to accept that there's going to be a certain amount of criticism that they're going to experience."

And, once they are in the public sector, they find more and more ways of avoiding it or dismissing it.

Rivette acknowledged that the policy is partly directed at the website Cornwall Free News, a private blog where unmoderated comments frequently attack city leaders.

Note that; ‘unmoderated comments’. They hate that. The very idea that someone could speak freely. Why, they might say anything! ANYTHING AT ALL!

Tinkess said that although the councillors may be railing against unwanted attention on the internet, the public forums are still useful for garnering uncensored opinion about how they're performing their duties.

"At the same time they should also be grateful for the feedback that they're getting from there. Internet chat sites, news media, boards where people can post comments — what better way to hear from the people you don't meet face to face?" he said.

But you see, they don’t want to ‘hear from the people’. They just want the people to shut up and do as they are damned well told, by state approval…

They Look After Their Own….

Staff at the Staincliffe Hotel in Seaton Carew reported that three patrol cars and police dogs were called to the bash for Cleveland Police's plain clothes detectives.

Sources said the call-out was over an argument between one of the police party and a woman and there had been no violence or arrests.

A fast response to head off any trouble, you may say?

Jennifer Taylor, a manager at the hotel, said staff were unaware of any problem until the police arrived.

She told the Northern Echo: "I wasn't the duty manager that night but I know it wasn't us who actually called the police.

"What I do know, which was really quite annoying, is that we had a problem with eight men who smashed up the toilet the week before and we did call the police and they sent one officer on his own.

"On Thursday night, there's some disagreement and no ructions but they send three cars, including the dog section."

Something stinks, all right...

A spokeswoman for Cleveland Police said: "Police were called but were unable to substantiate any complaint and there is no ongoing investigation.

"We contacted the lady on the Friday and she did not wish to make any complaint."

Well, that wouldn't stop your across-the-border colleagues, now, would it?

He Should Join The Force, He'd Soon Make Inspector...

Richard Moore, 24, was barred from the Hop Pole in Willerby, Hull, after allegedly abusing the woman because she had accidentally short-changed him by £10.

Typical, loud-mouthed pub boor at large…

The barmaid later apologised and gave him the correct money, but pub staff claim Mr Moore became aggressive and was shouting at the woman and demanding she be strip-searched.

*tuts*

Pub manager Peter Harrison said: 'He is a big fellow and she was quite upset by it all. She was on the verge of tears.'

And after being thrown out, he still wasn’t done bullying the staff:

Mr Moore wrote an email of complaint to the area manager of Mitchells And Butlers' Sizzling Pubs, which owns the venue.

It didn’t get him very far, because after ringing up to discuss it, he was so abusive the managers barred him!

The police authority said it had investigated the allegations into Mr Moore's behaviour and did not believe any further action was necessary.

Hang on a minute….police authority?

Ah. Yes, did I fail to mention he’s a PCSO?

Mr Moore, who works for the Haverstoe Neighbourhood Policing Team in Cleethorpes, joined Humberside Police in April 2009 after working in the motor trade for five years.

Ah. So he was a second-hand car dealer? Well, I guess that’s where he gained his customer service skills...

On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas, Multiculturalism Gave To Me...

...workers who are fluent in...anything but English:

‘I couldn’t believe what was happening,’ said Portuguese-born Mr Franco, who came to Britain in 2000 and is a fluent English speaker.

All the supervisors were Polish apart from me and one Englishman. And of 300 packers, almost all of them were Polish.

‘I speak four languages – Portuguese, English, French and Spanish – but none helped. I was told if I wanted to get on, I should learn Polish. It’s crazy. I spent nine years studying English, yet here in England it’s Polish I need to speak.’

You really couldn't make it up...

Also, Tube disruption caused by foreign disputes, 'honor killings' (otherwise known as murder), new and interesting ways to break smoking laws, names on court listings that sound like they came out of a bag of ‘Scrabble’, many interesting and lucrative jobs for lawyers, new and interesting methods of fraud, a feeling of being 'untouchable', the marginalising of our Christian heritage, the concept of victim perception of racism and a partridge in a cardboard box.

What ‘Risk Of His Actions’, M’Lud?

Paul Peters, aged 33, of Holburne Road, Kidbrooke, was acquitted of racially aggravated criminal damage and a separate charge of criminal damage at Bexley Magistrates’ Court today.

Well, well, well....

It was alleged Mr Peters deliberately dropped a bottle causing it to smash on the plaque in Well Hall Road where Mr Lawrence, 18, was stabbed to death in April 1993.

Mr Peters was caught on CCTV dropping the bottle at around 6.20pm on October 1.

Yes, there's CCTV monitoring the spot where St Stephen fell. You really couldn't make it up...

Magistrates were told that the next day [October 2] street cleaners were called to clear up broken glass and liquid which covered the plaque, pavement and road, costing £20 to clear up.

Wow! If only all street cleaners were so fast, and so diligent!

The excuse (for littering) is not a new one:

On the day in question Mr Peters said he was “out of his face” after drinking up to 10 cans of Stella at a friend’s house in Orpington, and did not remember what happened on his journey home, nor did he remember dropping the bottle.

He was returning home with his girlfriend and three children, aged two, four and six, by bus and had to get off the bus early as he was feeling ill, the court heard.

A simple case of littering. So, why charge him with something no-one could prove, what was in his mind when he did it?

Mr Peters denied both charges and said he did not intend to drop the bottle on the plaque and that he did not even know the plaque was there.

He also said he had “no problem with black people.”

Yes, it seems the modern-day absurdity has reached new heights indeed. Drop that bottle a few feet to the left or right, and he'd be a simple litterbug. And no-one would have even bothered looking at the CCTV...

He added: “It’s not nice being in the papers. I do not think I deserve that from dropping a bottle. I feel sick to the stomach.”

Quite!

On returning the not guilty verdicts, chief magistrate Sue Adams said: “We accept his actions were careless. We are not of the view he genuinely appreciated the risks of his actions.”

What 'risk' would that be?

The risk of a show trial to salve consciences, perhaps?

Well, I Suppose It's A New Excuse...

A prolific graffiti vandal who was sentenced last year for causing damage totalling £10,000 across Bristol has struck again – this time leaving a clean-up bill of at least £3,800 in his wake.

Well, why not, I mean, it’s not as if his last punishment was sufficient to deter him,was it?

And I bet this one won’t, either…

Jones pleaded guilty to leaving his tag "Norm" or "Nrm" on a lamppost belonging to Bristol City Council, an electricity substation belonging to Western Power Distribution, a van, a church wall, a youth centre and a railway bridge belonging to Network Rail.

And that’s not all:

Jones also pleaded guilty to producing cannabis with his friend Charlie Chittell-Gilholm, 22, at a flat they shared in Oxford Place, Easton.

Mitigation’ll be something, won’t it?

Sarah Iles, defending Jones, of King Road, Knowle, said he was struggling to stop his habit of vandalising property because he was surrounded by friends who were graffiti artists.

Oh? Is that how it works? Do we have criminality by osmosis, now?

But she said: "I'm pleased to report he's no longer in that environment any more and he's not living with friends in Easton and is now living with his grandmother in Knowle.

"His life today is a very full and constructive one and his offending his now behind him."

Ms Iles said her client was taking a music course at college.

She said: "He's a very talented individual and he's using that talent constructively and putting his past behind him.

Just how ‘talented’ and ‘creative’ is he, when all it seems he can manage is his misspelled nickname? It’s really only one step up from a dog or cat marking its territory, not the bloody ceiling of the Sistine Chapel!

"Since September, he's not used graffiti."

I think you mean he’s not committed the act of graffiti; clearly, you’re confusing it with drugs, love.

*snaps fingers*

Oh, yeah! Forgot about those! What’s this excuse going to be?

Of her client growing cannabis, she said Jones and his flat mate Chittell- Gilholm had decided to grow the Class B drug for their own use because they could not afford to buy it. She said their bid to cultivate cannabis "was not a sophisticated or successful operation".

Well, it doesn’t need to be, really, does it?

Magistrates gave Jones a 17-week prison sentence, suspended for 18 months, and told him to abide by a 12-week curfew.

*sigh*

Magistrates agreed Jones would not be asked to pay compensation because he would be unable to pay it.

*double sigh*

Ah, The Benefits Of Unrestricted Working Rights In The EU!

Ignoring roadside warning signs, Daniel Gyongyosi turned his 30-ton lorry into this narrow lane, jack-knifing on the tight corner before becoming stuck between Grade I-listed buildings.

As Gyongyosi tried to manoeuvre his rig free, one of the lorry's tyres exploded causing even more damage.

Ouch!

The bill for his error was made up of £80,000 of spilled olive oil, £15,000 damage to a 17th century house and the writing-off of the £20,000 trailer. It took 16 hours to free the HGV.

While the residents had to be evacuated…

In all, he caused more than £115,000 worth of damage but, remarkably, the Hungarian – who does not speak English – was let off with a fine of just £40.

I….

I just…

Defence lawyer Evelyn Hicks said: ‘He has fallen well below the standard of what is required of a competent and careful driver.

'His employers in Hungary will treat him harshly and his momentary lapse in concentration may result in him losing his job, despite 30 years of competent driving.'

Yes, those are known as ‘consequences’.

Residents and businesses affected by the blundering driver were stunned by the small fine.

Me too…

On The Tenth Day Of Christmas, Multiculturalism Gave To Me...

…Tube disruption caused by foreign disputes:

A group of more than 200 DR Congo demonstrators have caused an emergency evacuation of Oxford Circus Tube station in central London, British Transport Police (BTP) has said.

They set off a passenger alarm on a train they had boarded following an earlier protest in Whitehall over their country's political situation.

Just what you want at Christmas. And no, of course no arrests were made...

Also, 'honor killings' (otherwise known as murder), new and interesting ways to break smoking laws, names on court listings that sound like they came out of a bag of ‘Scrabble’, many interesting and lucrative jobs for lawyers, new and interesting methods of fraud, a feeling of being 'untouchable', the marginalising of our Christian heritage, the concept of victim perception of racism and a partridge in a cardboard box.

And The Least Surprising Thing Is That No-One’s Been Fired…

…Mohammed's HIV positive mother, a failed asylum seeker from the Ivory Coast, died in May 2009, leaving him in the care of Sheffield City Council.

Oh, yes. There’s a whole world of FAIL in that sentence alone…

A short-term foster carer was found before Mohammed's father, Adama Sangare and his wife, Gnagne, came forward.

The Serious Case Review, undertaken when abuse and neglect is suspected to be a factor in a child's death or serious injury, found that Sheffield's assessment of the pair's suitability was "rushed" because the person in charge of the case had just been promoted and wanted to finish her previous work as quickly as possible.

I know some people who’ve gone through the adoption process, and it’s long and utterly torturous.

The Sangares must be particularly well-favoured. I wonder why..?

No consideration was given to contacting authorities in Croydon, where the family lived, but even if it had, a school here had already failed to act on warning signs about Mrs Sangare.

Ah. Well, wasn’t a spotless record, then? Hmm…

In 2009 another of their children had attended the school, unnamed in the report, with a mark on his head and stated that his mother had hit him.

The head teacher believed the threshold for referral to social services had not been met "despite the child appearing uneasy about being questioned in front of his father".

Instead the school believed his parents' explanation that he had fallen, a "significant failing" which meant a fuller assessment of the family Mohammed, named "Child Z" in the report, was being placed in was never undertaken.

You know, this case is starting to have all the hallmarks of so many others…

Sheffield failed to inform Croydon of the move and subsequent "human errors" meant there was significant delay in transferring his health records.

The report notes: "It was March 2010 before the case was finally allocated to a Croydon health visitor, too late for an initial contact let alone any intervention that could even have arguably led to a different outcome."

And so this sad tale concluded in the usual fashion of such:

Later that month an ambulance was called to the house and Mohammed was found to have suffered catastrophic injuries following weeks of abuse.

Even after his admission to hospital the errors continued.

Oh, surely not? Isn’t the NHS the Wonder of the World?

Firstly, the council's emergency duty team (EDT) failed to inform the police of his injuries.

"It demonstrated complete lack of competence in basic child protection principles and resulted in Child Z's siblings being left in a situation of risk for a further 24 hours," the report said.

The Serious Case Review, compiled by Croydon Safeguarding Children Board, highlighted "extremely poor practice" by a member of the EDT team, subsequently addressed through "management action".

Croydon University Hospital staff were also criticised for failing to contact the police or social services despite the clear indication that Mohammed's injuries were non-accidental.

And who lost their job over this? We aren’t told.

But I suspect the answer’s a number smaller than 1…

Still, at least we are spared the nauseating spectacle of the mother of one of the inhuman monsters blaming only the authorities:

Bowman did not attend today’s hearing but her mother, Michelle Littlemore, said after the inquest that her daughter had 'taken responsibility' for what happened 'on her own shoulders' and said she hoped the agencies involved would do the same.

She said it was 'good' that the 'errors' that were made in relation to Joshua’s care were uncovered but said 'they shouldn’t have happened at all'.

'If the agencies had done their jobs correctly and acted accordingly I think Joshua would still be here.

'Changes have been made but there has been no official apology to Joshua and his family for the way the agencies have let him down.'

How about your daughter apologising for shacking up with a brute and covering for his actions? Since the evil bitch was let off a jail sentence, it's surely the least she can do?

Justice in this country is an utter joke.

And To Think Inspector Gadget Blames Only The Judiciary For This…

Sophie Russell, 16, was attacked by the teenage yobs who left her seriously injured with a broken nose and shattered face at her school in February.

But the gang of four girls and five boys were let off after police only handed one of the mob with a caution.

/facepalm

Mrs Russell, 45, said: 'I am absolutely devastated. If they are doing that at the age of 15 what are they going to be doing at the age of 25?

'There is no justice...'

This didn’t even get as far as ‘justice’ as we know it, the police deciding not to bother risking it, so might as well cut out the middleman…

A Lincolnshire Police spokesman said the case was passed to the Youth Offending Team who decided not to press charges but to give a caution for common assault.

She said: 'Age is a factor in the decision but everything would have been taken into account. Her (Sophie) injuries would form part of the evidence.

'The case would have been handed over the the Youth Offending Team and various other agencies.

'Evidence would have been looked at to come to the decision that a caution was the necessary action to take in this case.'

Yes, yes, we know all that. We just can’t figure out the mindset of people who would think a caution was appropriate for this sort of assault….

Oh, Well, If He Doesn’t Want To Go To Prison….

…it would be churlish to send him, wouldn’t it?

Craig Quilter, 27, of Querns Road in Cirencester, pleaded guilty to twice beating his ex-partner.

Judge Martin Brown gave him a suspended prison sentence for two years to protect other women from his "violent temper and controlling nature".

This despite his 12 year criminal record.

Not quite sure how that could be said to be ‘protecting other women’, but still…

Quilter told the court his mother was seriously ill so he did not want to go to prison.

And I suppose not assaulting his girlfriend never occurred to him as a possible solution to that dilemma?

Sentencing him to a 20 week sentence, suspended for two years, District Judge Martin Brown also ordered that he adhere to a two-year restraining order, a supervision requirement for 18 months and a domestic abuse programme for 36 sessions. He must also pay £100 compensation and £85 costs.

*sigh*

This Comes As No Surprise, Frankly…

It has emerged that HSBC-owned NHFA paid a wide range of charities and websites for leads so that its advisers could boost their commission by selling investments. Crucial among these was the government-funded Firststop Advice service, which was set up after the Office of Fair Trading called for a one-stop-shop for information on care home provision in 2005.

The establishment of the website and telephone advice line was led by the Elderly Accommodation Counsel, but fellow charities Age Concern – now part of Age UK – and Counsel and Care were also involved, as was NHFA itself, as the then biggest care fees advice company.

Anyone who ever had dealings with their previous incarnation, ‘Age Concern’, will know what an utterly useless and avaricious shower of little s***s they were…

On The Ninth Day Of Christmas, Multiculturalism Gave To Me...

...'honor killings' (otherwise known as murder):

Nearly 3,000 so-called honour attacks were recorded by police in Britain last year, new research has revealed.

According to figures obtained by the Iranian and Kurdish Women's Rights Organisation (Ikwro), at least 2,823 incidents of 'honour-based' violence took place, with the highest number recorded in London.

But a small price to pay, surely, for the vibrancy of our high streets? And a story Pavlov's Cat sent to me by email bears watching too.

It may no longer just be a purely inter-cultural-group habit...

Also, new and interesting ways to break smoking laws, names on court listings that sound like they came out of a bag of ‘Scrabble’, many interesting and lucrative jobs for lawyers, new and interesting methods of fraud, a feeling of being 'untouchable', the marginalising of our Christian heritage, the concept of victim perception of racism and a partridge in a cardboard box.

"Here he comes, boogie-dy, boogie-dy, there he goes, boogie-dy, boogie-dy..."

"...And he ain't wearin' no clothes!"

A former York policeman wept in the dock as he was jailed for leading police firearms officers on a car chase while naked at the wheel.

*boggle*

Andy Stuart Easterby, 30, drove his girlfriend’s Peugeot 307 with smoking tyres at 3am after having sex in the car, York Crown Court heard today.

Chris Smith, prosecuting, said that after twice going through No Entry signs, driving the wrong way down several one-way streets, and turning off his headlights to evade detection, Easterby was caught crouching behind a wheelie bin “sporting nothing but a pair of shoes and socks.”

It seems that naked driving and evading police is the new craze, though of course, as usual, the Yanks have to go one better…

Judge Stephen Ashurst told the former Westfield Neighbourhood Police team member: “This is a difficult day, I know, for you. I have to take account not only of the strong personal mitigation in your case, but also the public interest in seeking to deter people from driving dangerously, particularly when they are pursued by police, where the sensible course is to stop.”

What ‘strong personal mitigation’..?

It was the second time he had broken the law - in 2009, he was banned from driving for a year after he was caught drink-driving.

Which seems to have been the incident which saw him booted off the force.

His barrister Chris Moran said: “Two times in his life he has done something reckless, stupid and impulsive and both times he has paid a considerable price for it.”

Well, yes. That’s what we call ‘consequences’, not ‘mitigation’…

At This Rate, The Next Season Of ‘Educating Essex’ Will Have To Be X-Rated…

Head teachers in Hampshire will no longer be able to wash their hands of the troublesome students they have expelled.

New measures would mean heads will be responsible for youngsters’ education even after they have been expelled – with exam results and truancy figures counting against the previous school’s record.

Oh, great! I can’t see any reason why this shouldn’t be a stonking success! Can you?

I mean, we all saw what behaviour they could get away with already…

Schools Minister Nick Gibb has unveiled the proposals, to be piloted ahead of a possible roll out across the country.

Today, Hampshire! Tomorrow, the rest of the failing school system!

Ministers say too many youngsters are condemned to a future of failure when they are sent to the likes of Pupil Referral Units (PRUs) under the care of local authorities.

So instead, heads will dig their heels in even harder over expelling the little s**ts and instead they’ll drag down everyone’s school experience…

Great! Who said we had a ‘terrible, right wing Tory government’ again?

The Department for Education pointed to figures showing less than two of 174 16-year-olds in “alternative provision” in Hampshire, and the same low number in Southampton secured five good GCSE results, including English and Maths, according to the latest figures.

And did anyone at the DoE stop and think ‘Well, maybe that’s the fault of the students themselves’…?

Remember Meriden?

They had set up camp to highlight the illegality of a traveller settlement blighting a stretch of greenbelt land near their homes.

But now it is the protesting villagers of Meriden, in Warwickshire, who face the prospect of being evicted from the site - for breaking planning laws.

The council seemingly hasn’t forgiven them for showing them up to be a useless, traveller-appeasing shower of inadequates.

And, of course, there’s no way it’ll take the council ten years to get around to it either…

Both groups have had applications and appeals turned down, but in a move that will further anger the locals it is likely the objectors will be forced to pack up their caravan and awning and move on before the travellers go.

*sigh*

Mr McGrath denied that by continuing to protest on the illegal camp Meriden RAID were no better than the people they are campaigning to remove.

'There’s no comparison,' he said. 'We are not here for residential or commercial reasons.

'We are not seeking to be here for any great length of time.

'And we are not in a field. We are set up in a builders' yard on an area of hard standing and we are having no impact on the environment.

'They have dug up acres of land and now the area looks like a muddy quagmire.'

Clearly though, to the council, you are a far more unsightly blot, since you highlight just how uneven the laws are in this country..

On The Eighth Day Of Christmas, Multiculturalism Gave To Me...

… new and interesting ways to break smoking laws:

Caroline Gutteridge, prosecuting for Leicester City Council, said the authority had been tipped off by a member of the public that shisha was being smoked in an upstairs room.

Three plain-clothed city wardens then visited the business on March 11 around 11pm and asked if they could smoke.

She said: "They were told to wait about 30 minutes and were then shown to an upstairs room where they ordered shisha, food and drink."

Two council health and safety officers waiting outside entered the cafe, identified themselves and were taken upstairs by Patel's Leeds-based partner. Mrs Gutteridge said:

"They found 20 people smoking shisha pipes in two areas."

I'm amazed they actually did anything about it!

Also, names on court listings that sound like they came out of a bag of ‘Scrabble’, many interesting and lucrative jobs for lawyers, new and interesting methods of fraud, a feeling of being 'untouchable', the marginalising of our Christian heritage, the concept of victim perception of racism and a partridge in a cardboard box.

I Really Don’t Think Society Needs His Contribution, ‘Useful’ Or Otherwise...

Nick Cotter, defending, said his Oxford-born client had battled alcoholism since a family trip to Pakistan in 2004 when his parents tried to arrange for him to marry a woman five days after meeting her.

She must have been a 'two-bagger’…

Mr Cotter added: “When sober he’s actually a very decent young man, very articulate.

“He’s someone who in fact if he can kick this alcohol addiction could make a very useful contribution to society.”

Oh, really? So, he’s a doctor, an engineer, an entrepreneur?

On his arrest the 28-year-old businessman, who runs a company offering discount restaurant vouchers, told Pc Aidan Donohoe: “When one of your soldiers gets killed in Afghanistan I laugh.

“I hope it’s your brother.”

You know what? I think I’ll pay full price for my restaurant meals, if the alternative is having people like this in the country.

Sometimes, They Don’t Fall For It…

Van Rijn was jailed for two years and nine months at Swansea Crown Court on March 9.

Last week, Lady Justice Hallett, Mr Justice Globe and Judge Elgan Edwards, sitting at London's Criminal Appeal Court, heard his challenge to that term.

New evidence? Well, no:

At the appeal Van Rijn's lawyers argued that was not fair and he ought to have been given a community sentence.

Is there a ‘Chutzpah Award’ for defence lawyers?

At the hearing, Lady Justice Hallett said they had read "moving details" of "tragedies" Van Rijn had suffered in his private life which he had said ought to count in his favour as very powerful personal mitigation.

Ah, the ‘Oh, I Had Such A Hard Childhood’ defence….

It was also submitted he had a long history of volunteering, helping those less fortunate than himself.

Or, as normal human beings see it, ‘a long history of sourcing compliant victims’…

However, the judge ruled: "A great deal has been said on his behalf, but there is simply no reason to depart from the sentencing guidelines."

He added: "This was an appalling breach of trust. We are satisfied that the sentence of 33 months was well within the legitimate sentencing regime and this appeal must be dismissed."

Couldn’t you have added on a few years too, just for the sheer cheek of it?

More Charity Job Creation…

A mum whose baby girl was scarred after being scalded by coffee is backing a new awareness campaign.

Oh? And how did she come to be scaled by hot coffee?

Miss Holdsworth is championing the “Not Kool” campaign run by Colchester-based safety information charity, Prevention Town.

She hopes the hard-hitting awareness drive, using images of scalded children, will make parents think twice before handling hot drinks alongside their children.

Do parents really need to be made aware? Clearly they do, if there’s a charity for it!

Prevention Town appears to be a newly-registered charity, not yet ‘trading’ a year, so no financial reports are available.

They claim on their website that ‘Prevention Town is not Government funded, all our work is only possible because of the generosity of our kind sponsors and the general public’.

Miss Holdsworth said: “I hope the campaign reaches lots of people.

“I would urge parents to think all the time about the dangers of hot drinks. Be aware and keep toys out of the kitchen. Now when I see mums handling coffees and their babies, I feel physically sick.”

That’s called ‘a natural response to an accident’. It’s not something anyone else really needs to be badgered about, is it?

Prevention Town founder Ross Carroll said: “The attitude is: ‘It won’t happen to me or my child’.

“Unfortunately, it does. This is a caring mum offering a reality check to help people understand our message.”

And drum up trade…

Prevention Town creates health and safety animations featuring the Kools Family characters.

The animations are used in schools, universities and hospital wards.

So while it might not be getting taxpayer money in grants, it’s getting it by supplying ‘awareness campaigns’ of (I presume) increasingly mundane ‘threats’.

I eagerly await the ‘Don’t juggle chainsaws around your baby!’ poster…

They also seem to be flogging safety ‘equipment’:

A children’s charity is selling safety products after finding parents in Colchester had to travel out of town to buy the equipment.

Prevention Town, in Crouch Street, is stocking stair gates and drawer and cupboard locks.

A nice little earner for someone?

Perhaps The Good Samaritan Would Do Well To Ride On By These Days?

Charles Roberts pounced on the horrified nurse moments after he was resuscitated at a Greater Manchester hospital following a drug overdose.

The nurse was left feeling ‘violated’ by the sex pest, who sat up on his trolley, fondled her intimately and tried to kiss her arm.

I’m pretty sure it doesn’t get much lower than that…

In the build-up to the attack he had subjected staff to a foul-mouthed stream of abuse as they tried to save his life.

Oh. OK. I was wrong…

The 37-year-old hung his head as he was ordered to sign the sex offenders’ register for seven years by a judge who said his ‘despicable’ behaviour highlighted the vulnerability of nursing staff.

And the sentence highlighted the utter toothlessness of our judiciary:

Roberts, of Dene Road, Gorton, was handed a four-month jail sentence, suspended for 12 months, after the court heard he was remorseful for the attack and was seeking help for his drug problem.

A junkie’s promise! What could go wrong?

Still, at least no-one arrested the nurse*!

Officers did not believe Tyler Thompson and Connor Roderick’s version of events, and the pair were taken into custody, and had their DNA and fingerprints taken, which will now be stored on a national database.

Their clothes were also kept by police following the incident in St Helen Auckland, near Bishop Auckland, County Durham, on Friday, December 9, and the teenagers were only due to get them back yesterday.

Let's have a great big /golfclap for Durham Police, everyone! Who - you'll no doubt be utterly astounded to know - aren't even vaguely apologetic or ashamed:

A Durham Police spokesperson said: “Police arrested a man and a youth at the scene of the incident as they matched a description given to police; they were later released without charge.

“The suspects were dealt with as quickly as procedures allow while ensuring that the matter was thoroughly investigated.

“Two other youths have been arrested in connection with this incident and bailed pending further inquiries.”

And so they hammer another nail into the coffin of public confidence and trust. As well as building that DNA database, one innocent at a time...

*H/T: Subrosa via Twitter