The Rocking Hijab

1. His full name is Wan Hamza 'Awfan.  Hamza is the name of one of Rasulullah s.a.w. companion, who was feared for his strength by the kuffars during their time. Hamza was also nicknamed 'asadullah' which meant, 'the lion of Allah'. 'Awfan is derived from Allah's ism, Al-'Afuww (The Most Forgiving). Al Ghaffar also meant The Most Forgiving but from the Arabic language, al-'afuww means that Allah expiates your sins and your record becomes a clean slate. Which means, Allah forgives and He forgets. Al-ghaffar means that Allah forgives, but He doesn't forget; you still have a record of your sins and wrongdoings. The reason for me naming him as such is because I want him to have the strength and spirit of Hamza, but also at the same time, have a mellow heart to find it in his heart to forgive and forget the wrong that people do to him. This is quite personal for me, because I too, aspire to forgive and forget, but I have a problem of letting

First of all, what does LGBTQ stands for?  L = lesbian G = gay B = bisexual T = transgender Q = queer I am pretty sure everyone's familiar with the first 4 sexual orientation but what about the last one? Queers are people who are not sure of their own sexual identity.  So what does it mean to belong to the 5 sexual orientation? Let's just assume I am secretly a lesbian. So how would you react to that?  Do you judge me?  Or do you accept me as I am? I got married with a man and have 2 kids as a result of the marriage, there's nothing wrong with that isn't it? I am doing nothing wrong despite having an against the fitrah inclination towards the same sex.  It will only become wrong if they chose to act on their sexual orientation.  They claim that the sexual orientation is a result of nature and nothing can be done to change it. Like in a transgender's case, they think that "God made a mistake and switched their gender

A lot of people think that being a SAHM meant just relaxing in front of the tele with their feet on the couch, but I guess it's really up to you whether you want to just be a mediocre housewife or a housewife with a certain quality.  So in order to not let my brains cogs and wheels rust, I decided to take an online course on Psychology at EdX . It's pretty cool once you get used to it. *** I have also started writing for a book. So far so good. I just hope I can get it published. If not, maybe I'll just publish it on my own into an EBook. 

Salam and hullo~ It has been so long since I've last wielded my pen or rather keyboard on this page. For those wondering, I am still pretty much alive, thank you! A lot has happened and I have a lot on my plate previously but now, I have a lot of free time at my dispense and it's frikkin awesome! I am now a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM), and guess what? I just had another baby on the 1st of May this year (yay me!) and it's a boy, again but oh well, as long as you're healthy I ain't complaining. I have been in Seremban effective since 1st of April and life couldn't get any better, though something's happened previously that made people close to me to be pissed. Well, it's my life and I'm glad I did what I did. But anywho, I'm back, with a fresh mind and I can't wait to write more! Till then, cheers!

It has been so long since I've written on this blog as religiously as I can. It's hard to write frequently these days so I figured, why don't I just start writing, no matter how nonsensical, just to build the momentum for a masterpiece, that is, if I ever come to that. Today it felt hard being by myself. I was having palpitations and anxiety crept on to me like a stealthy predator eyeing its prey. My morning coffee wasn't of much help either. I don't know why I felt anxious all of a sudden, but of course, this wasn't the first time I felt this way.  The problem is when I am in that state, I couldn't do anything about it. I tried controlling my breathing, pacing it to go slower but the palpitations just won't go away.  Perhaps I should stop worrying about the future and just let my future self worry for me. Sigh. 

Today an interesting thing happened. I have seen it coming from afar, and I have fretted over and over, dreamed nightmares of the same story line, and here it is, my fear turned into a reality. Funny thing is, I am somewhat calm and relaxed about it, although I have to admit some part of me wished it wasn't real and this is just one of my many nightmares, but of course, it is written. As I let the news sink in, I imagined myself lying on my back on vast field of grass and the wind slowly caressing my cheek and strands of escaping hair. I stretched and folded my arms to support my neck. I closed my eyes for a brief moment and inhaled. I am living in the moment. Nothing matters. The past, the future, what matters is this second, the now. I always do this whenever I feel stressed about things beyond my control. This is what they called as being 'mindful', if I am not mistaken. It is an art of preserving the state of mind, to avoid panic and to truly embrace what really ma