Mastermind? What a joke.

I used to spend my college summers listening to 93.3 and painting houses with a guy I called Dirty Dean. Now I never paint houses and I rarely listen to 93.3, but I tuned in during a short drive today and I heard a song by Lazyboy called Underwear Goes Inside the Pants. I had never heard it, but I identified with a lot of the spoken lyrics in the song even though I don't smoke marijuana, I am not obese, and I don't go to strip clubs. The spoken lyrics are apparently from a comedian, Greg Giraldo, who is piercingly honest in his critique of American culture. I especially enjoyed his witty remarks on marijuana, the absurd labeling of a terrorist as a "mastermind", and the obesity epidemic as a foolishly named consequence of the spoiled American lifestyle. I found the video on YouTube. It's NSFW (that's not-safe-for-work for the uninitiated). 

Full song and video below...

Best of 2012

Best Vacation: Kauai was amazing, but Scotland and my favorite city in all the world with my wife…nothing can compete.

My favorite blog I wrote: This one, about Michael Phelps after the London 2012 games.

Best Meal: There were two and they happened at the same restaurant two nights in a row, The Lovat Brasserie in Fort Augustus, Scotland. Seriously, everything we bit into was mouth-rockingly wonderful. This place should not be missed if you’re in the Highlands.

Best Live Sporting Event: Front row at the Broncos vs. Browns game on December 23.

Best Televised Sporting Event: Michael Phelps' last show at this summer's Olympic games in London.

Best Bachelor Party: Sir Travis’ party in Boulder. Whiskey. Bikes. Mountain Sun. Pearl St. 3am bike ride back to north Boulder up some pretty steep hills.

Best Graduate Class: Tie….Great Books of the Middle East and Modern Islamic Political Thought. If it’s any consolation, the same professor taught them.

Best Photograph We Took: Kate probably disagrees, but I really love this one from Kauai. It's imperfect, but that's sort of what I like about it in addition to the stunning beauty of that wave and the memory I have of standing in ankle deep, frothy sea water while watching these waves roll in.

Best Drive: From Ft Augustus, Scotland to Portree, Isle of Skye, Scotland. I wanted to pull over every half mile to take more pictures.

Best Picture of Kate and I: This one taken by Jarrod Renaud.

Best Gift: One I gave.

Best Pet: Monte, my parents’ 16-yr-old cat, for being a trooper while she lived with us for 2.5 weeks when my parents were in Italy.

Best Thing To Do When The Wife Is Out Of Town: Invite over all your video-gaming friends for an all-day gaming bonanza with beers and bloody Marys.

Best Beer: Nothing new, but a beer I grew to love throughout this year, a beer that has easily become one of my favorites. Odell’s IPA.

Best Concert: Bon Iver at Red Rocks. This is easily the best concert I’ve seen since I was in high school and saw MxPx for the first time at the Ogden. The free Lumineers concert at DU was a very close second.

Best Laugh: With Guy Ferber in Las Vegas.

Best Sunset from 4550, our home: This October beauty.

Best Musical Discovery: M83 and the Lumineers.

Best Social Platform: Instagram.

Best Timing for a Photograph: This one by Kate. I didn't even say try to get one of me in the air and then she goes and snaps this perfectly framed and timed shot. Okay.

Best Coffee: Boxcar Coffee in Boulder. This place got me to like a cappuccino.

MSNBC, The Lumineers, and Mr. Potato...head?

Here are a few DU Debate Fest pictures from yesterday.

I'm not enforcing stereotypes here, but she was wearing an NRA hat.

Next door to the Romney table.

Mr. Potato Head....wait a minute.

Readying for Obama's arrival.

Secret Service and security taking some pictures before the Debate Fest gates open.

Martin Bashir broadcasting from DU, right in front of the Mary Reed Building.

Chris Matthews

More talking to cameras. I can't be the only one that always thinks of Bashir's interview with Michael Jackson when I see him. It's a classic. Here's the interview.

Let's play hardball!

The Lumineers put on an excellent show. 

A bass drum like the sun.

Mark Koebrich of 9News recording a segment during the Lumineers' concert.

America!

Bon Iver for the Win

In light of Bon Iver's Grammy win last night, it is worth going back and reading this excerpt from a New York Times interview he gave last year before he received his nominations in December. I was pretty happy to see him win. Do I think he was? Yes, despite what he says in the interview below. Plus, how often does Eau Claire, Wisconsin get a shout out on national television? Go Bon Iver. And go Wisconsin. Here's the interview.

Currently

Currently reading Although of Course you end up Becoming Yourself: A Road Trip with David Foster Wallace, by David Lipsky. I was about to write it’s Wallace unfiltered, but if you’ve read that much Wallace, you know there isn’t much of a filter. It’s pure Wallace, just like his nonfiction is, except just in conversation with a journalist who is clearly becoming a friend over the five days they spend together.

Here’s a brief passage, where Wallace and Lipsky just landed in the Twin Cities. Still on airplane. Over the PA system comes a voice:

PA: (Engines cycling down, that big, deep, vacuum-cleaner sound) Just a reminder: The airport here in the Twin Cities is a smoke-free environment. Smoking only is permitted outdoors.

(Corrects her) [Wallace] “Permitted only outdoors.” It’s not the only thing that’s permitted outdoors.

[[Lipsky]] [Irritated as a grammarian and as a smoker]

Currently obsessed with: The Suburbs, by Arcade Fire. This album has been out for a while now. Arcade Fire already won a Grammy for it, but I just picked it up two weeks ago and it is getting heavy rotation. It reminds me of discovering Neon Bible when I was working at a magazine in Denver and doing the drive from Longmont and just rocking out to “No Cars Go.”

My One Winehouse Post

From February 2008. Sad story, her death is. So much wasted talent and this happens all the time.

Freelance Whales

Okay, so I am probably discovering the band Freelance Whales very, very late, but I don’t care, it’s a new band to me and I really like their sound. I had the TV on for a few minutes this morning and I heard a song that sounded so great I quickly wrote down the first line so I could look it up later and find out who was responsible for it.

I did the Google search and found Freelance Whales and all their quirky sounds. I watched a video of them performing at SXSW 2010 for NPR Music. They were performing Generator (First Floor), which at this infant stage of my appreciation for them, I can tell this must be one of their more popular songs, or their most popular song. After all, it was playing during a Starbucks commercial.

While watching them jam away I was reminded of Arcade Fire (although Freelance Whales is a smaller group), but in their performance they had this awesome connection like they were all sharing the same brain to tell them when to start into the song or when to pick it up or slow it down. Arcade Fire is extremely good at this. I know this comes from a ton of practice and memorizing all the songs and reading each other’s signals, but not all groups do this very well. So, Freelance Whales definitely caught my eye because of this.

And there was one more thing, they looked very Portlandish. A couple flannel shirts, a couple glasses leaving you to wonder if the people wearing them actually need them, some tight jeans, and one pair of pink leggings. It appeared to be a carefully crafted image that is no longer unique and now the fodder for jokes in Portlandia. And then I read that they weren’t from Portland. They’re from New York. All of a sudden I liked what they were wearing and I liked them a heck of a lot more.

From Satellites

The first full length album from Ask You In Gray is available to buy or download. This is the group my great friend Trey is half of. The music is electronica/dance, so not up everyone's alley, but it's seriously good if you like that stuff. Personal favorites: I Can't Dance, Reckless, Farlands, Elaborate Betrayal, Break It Down, and From Satellites. That is more than half the CD. If you like it, buy it or download it. It is super cheap and you will be supporting two great guys from Colorado, Chicago, and now Portland.

Listen to the music at askyouingray.com

Follow the links on that site to get your copy.

The Shins and Starbucks

I just settled down into my regular writing table at the coffee shop and what tune comes on? “Phantom Limb” by The Shins. I am instantly sent back in time. I’m wearing a green apron. I’m closing up the store with Jarrod. We just kicked the last customers out and we’ve put on The Shins’ Wincing The Night Away. Our jobs are monotonous. We are bored. But we make the most of it. The Shins help our cause.

Covering Chicago

It's cheesy, but when I drive down to Chicago I select Sufjan Stevens and rock out to the many versions of Chicago as I head south on I-94. Chicago is an excellent song and it reminds me of how much I enjoyed the movie Little Miss Sunshine. It's a happy song and I don't think it needs modification, but you never know what someone with musical talent can do with an already great song. I am glad people take the leap and see what they can do. Ask You In Gray did just that. You can listen to their cover of Chicago at thesixtyone.

Join the site. Give them some hearts. Listen.

Shameless Plug

Can this be a shameless plug if I am not in the band? I don't think so. I just happen to have spent my adolescent years with one of the band members.

First, listen to Ask You In Gray.

Second, browse the rest of thesixtyone.com, a great site.

I can't get enough of AYIG. Really. Even if I didn't know one of them, I would dig this music. Electronic. Vocal. Thoughtful. Fun. A good listen.

Check them out. Join the site. Give them some hearts.

Tears for MJ

This is not a blog about Michael Jackson. This is a blog about his fans. I am not talking about his younger fans or tweens that sob at the appearance of any musical idol, but about Jackson’s older fans, those in there 30s, 40s, and 50s. Recently, I’ve seen a lot of pictures of said fans crying and holding each other and I am here to insensitively say to them, “Grow a pair.”

MJ was most likely not a friend of yours. You may have obsessed over his music, honored his humanitarian deeds, and revered his impact in music, but why the tears? They are completely unnecessary. If you are uncontrollably sobbing over the unexpected death of Jackson, then how are you going to grieve when someone you actually know, have possibly seen in person, and perhaps love in a personal way (not an idolatrous way), dies?

This doesn’t mean crying for public figures that you don’t know isn’t allowed, but I’d say that exhibiting sorrow in such a way should be reserved for the assassination of a world leader or perhaps for a figure as big as MJ who doesn’t have such a dark cloud hanging over much of their existence on earth.

Damn, I am so mean sometimes, but seriously, stop crying!

On The Cover II

My MxPx library is up to 246 songs. I’ve been listening to them for, well, ten years and running. One of the first albums I bought, On The Cover, is a little known cover album (if you aren’t an MxPx fan) of a wide variety of songs. From the beginning, it has been one of my favorites. There is no beating “Take On Me” by A-Ha. And I always was a sucker for “Drum Machine Joy” and “You Found Me.” So I was really excited to hear of MxPx’s On The Cover II. I picked it up last week and the songs are growing on me. The instantly recognizable hits are “I Will Follow”, “500 Miles”, and “Major Tom.” “Somebody to Love” and “Linda Linda” are also promising.

I’ve only listened through twice. I’m sure to find more songs I love, but if you are in the mood for punk rawk covers, you can’t go wrong with this album or it’s predecessor.

Coming out of my speakers

I never blog about music. (Just a note, Word doesn’t recognize ‘blog’ as a verb. If I rewrite the first sentence of this blog and use ‘write’ instead of ‘blog’ it isn’t underlined.) Moving on.

I think I have mentioned before how I rely on people to find new, good music for me. That sounds odd, but I don’t assign tasks to random music lovers to report back with the top 20 albums of the year or something like that. However, sometimes people just do that sort of thing because they are much more into music, concerts, and are musically talented and whatnot. Fortunately enough for me (I really needed some new bands to explore), a fellow Milwaukeean made a list of his top 20 albums in 2008. The full list can be found at his blog here.

I thought it was a stellar list and I am particularly enjoying Fleet Foxes, Elbow, Nada Surf and F@!k Buttons. Short story about F@!k Buttons. That’s not their real name. You probably have interpreted the ‘@’ and the ‘!’ already, but I didn’t. I just saw Folk Buttons and searched all over and on iTunes for a band called Folk Buttons. Apparently, I am somewhat dyslexic. Their name is Fuck Buttons and they make noise that iTunes classifies as Electronic.

Continuing with the new music theme, I wanted to tell you that most of Starbucks’ free iTunes song of the week cards really disappoint. If you don’t know about these cards, they are found near the registers in Starbucks every day of the week. The cards change on Monday I think. Not too sure. Finding a good song that they are giving away for free is definitely a crapshoot, but there was a really good one a couple weeks ago. The artist is Jennifer O’Connor. The song is Always In Your Mind.

So, if you aren't already listening to the aforementioned groups and artists and you are looking for something new, check them out.

A Very Last First Time

I had to be one of the last people in my generation without an iPod. Not anymore. I just got my first iPod yesterday from Kate...an early birthday present. She wanted me to be able to take it to Florida on Tuesday. I will. Can't wait.

I am joining the swim team in a beard off. So, today being the third day without shaving, I decided to take a picture of myself. If I remember, I'll take a picture of myself everyday to eventually make a video at the end so I can watch my beard grow like a chia pet commercial. That could be really funny looking. The beard off runs from January 1 to February 25. Many swimmers aren't competing in the beard off. Some just can't grow beards, but the guys that are in have a month head start on me. I don't expect to catch up by any means, but by February 25th I should have a decent covering. 

Deep thought...I am that guy in Starbucks with the Mac, but I am not writing poetry. 

GRE, Major Tom, AC-EP, Poem Memorization

I already hate the GRE and I haven’t even made a test date or really cracked open my study book.

I can’t possibly make any grad school application deadline that is sooner than February 1^st.

“Major Tom” by David Bowie is a fantastic song.

I’ve been Facebook free for three days. I am not going through withdrawal. Actually, it feels quite good.

Listen to MxPx’s The AC – EP. Through iTunes I have been able to track down some MxPx I don’t have. This little album has been one of the best finds. If you don’t buy the whole thing, at least buy “Invitation To Understanding.” This version is one of the best MxPx songs I have ever heard.  It was the 203^rd MxPx song to grace my iTunes library. Well worth the purchase.

Was your Thanksgiving pumpkin pie any good? Be honest. We weren’t in charge of the pumpkin pie. Not surprisingly, it wasn’t as tasty, and it wasn’t Libby’s recipe.

I had never memorized a poem until last week. I thought it was about time so I set out to memorize “Crossing the Bar.” Nothing big, just sixteen lines. It makes me feel smart. I think Donald Miller wrote about this somewhere in one of his books. 

Sparks speaks her mind

Update: I was wrong, she didn't present the award with Chris Brown. It was John Legend.

I tuned into some of the VMAs last night, hoping I would see enough ridiculousness to write a cynical, hopefully witty, blog about how much the VMAs and MTV suck. I'm not going to write that blog, although I definitely saw a lot of lameness. Perhaps later I'll do some sort of recap, but for me the performance of the night came from American Idol winner, Jordin Sparks.

Shortly following the British comedian, Russell Brand's quip that mocked promise rings, Sparks was scheduled to present an award with John Legend. Speaking off the script, she said, "I just have one more thing to say about promise rings. It's not bad to wear a promise ring, because not everybody, guy or girl, wants to be a slut."

Legend looked slightly uncomfortable for a second and then the two slipped into the scripts. It was a very quick moment, but one of honesty and genuine reaction, feelings the VMAs are completely devoid of.

You Must Read Before You Die

I was in a bookshop on Bond Street in London the one and only time I flipped through 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die. I remember prepping myself to have that idea in my head, the idea that I am a slightly well read human being, obliterated. It was. I haven't read a tenth of the list, but I thought then and there that if I did read the list I could still be considered an unaccomplished reader because every reader has their must read and every reader has their white whale.

I could critique the list, but I've already written that I haven't even finished a tenth of the books on the list. Who would take that seriously? So, I was happy to find this critique of the book. This guy fesses up to having read a third of the list. That's pretty damn good.

Music: I purchasized Narrow Stairs, the new Death Cab For Cutie, this week. It is getting a lot of play. That's all I'm going to say.

Milwaukee's Music

Concerts in Milwaukee are ongoing, but during the last week in June and the first week of July, Summerfest takes over the city. Starting in 1968, Summerfest soon labeled itself the world’s largest music festival. Apparently, a title verified by the Guinness World Records in 1999. The festival is held at the Henry Maier Festival Park on seven stages. Kate and I were only able to catch the end of it last year so we are looking forward to enjoying more music this year.

Some notable artists at Summerfest:

Rascal Flatts – I list them because I am going to this show with Kate and a few other residents (girls). There might be another guy coming along.
Alicia Keys
John Mayer – Who is just got selected by the shuffle feature on my iTunes. “Covered in Rain” from Any Given Thursday. Good song.
Tom Petty
The Police with Elvis Costello – So want to go to this show.
Counting Crows
Gnarls Barkley
BoDeans – Definitely catching these guys.
Dashboard Confessional
Less Than Jake
Kansas
Coheed and Cambria
The Roots
The Wailers

…and at the Wisconsin State Fair…

Boyz II Men – What the hell?

A Prairie Home Companion and its Guests

I should sound old in this post because I am going to write a little bit about seeing a live recording of A Prairie Home Companion in Milwaukee on Saturday, and the average age of the audience was more than twice my age…as expected. So, what shall I say? Saturday night was a hoot.

Garrison Keillor always starts off the program with a little nod to the location he is broadcasting from. (Read: it was time to make fun of Milwaukee.) Keillor told the crowd that Milwaukee is adapted from a Native American language and it means “on the way to Chicago.” That roused a good chuckle from the crowd, who were most likely all Milwaukee residents, and all distinctly aware, like anyone who spends a chunk of time in Milwaukee, that Chicago is incredibly superior to Milwaukee and Brew City natives seem a little bitter about that. This was a crowd though with a sense of humor and the joke folded us up with laughter.

Another favorite was Keillor’s reference to Milwaukee as the home of beer and bratwurst, both of which create exhaust. At this cue, APHC’s sound effects man did his best to distinguish between beer farts and bratwurst farts. That was pretty hilarious. Kate loved it too because we are immature and laugh at fart jokes still.

The musical guests were the Bodeans, from Waukesha, Wisconsin which is about 25 minutes from where we are in Oak Creek. Completely unknown to me, the Bodeans sang four beautiful songs and I really enjoyed them. I didn’t recognize their name or their music. When we got home that night I read through the program and discovered that these local musicians were extremely successful and perhaps I should have known about them a little earlier, even if I didn’t live near Waukesha. Their 1986 debut album, Love & Hope & Sex & Dreams, launched them into the national music scene. Rolling Stone named them “Best New Band”. I read that their song “Closer to Free” was selected as the theme for Fox’s Party of Five. A refresher:

Well, anyways. They are still singing and making albums and are pretty chill and refined now. They got a lot of applause and Kate and I feel completely naïve for not knowing about them because we definitely recognized “Closer to Free” when we found it on iTunes.

Leon Redbone was also on the show. Redbone always performs in a Panama hat, sunglasses, and bowtie. He is quite the mysterious figure. Even Wikipedia can’t scrape up that much information on the dude. He was a regular on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. His disguise and ability to hide his true identity from the media and fans led to rampant speculation that he was actually Andy Kaufman or Frank Zappa. However, those men are dead now and Redbone still performs. Redbone survived a plane crash in 1979 and travels to “engagements exclusively by car.” His sound is very unique. I didn’t expect a rumbling baritone to come out of that small man. His voice can also be very smooth. I didn’t love his music. It was too folksy for me. The best comparison I can make is to Louis Armstrong.

Anyway, we had a wonderful time and I know that performance will remain fresh in our minds for a long time because Garrison Keillor and A Prairie Home Companion, whether you listen or not, are certainly slices of Americana that are not going to be replaced when the show comes to an end.