Goodbye 2018

I have not got the chance to do a recap for 2018 like I would always do during year end. 

Was busy doing my work the whole day and then with last minute bookings for tomorrow's short trip with Kiki.   

2018 had been quite an eventful year; both in a bad and good way, however, it is all well now and personally, I am so glad to be alive and am looking forward to 2019 where my Sis & my Mom will be moving closer to us. They will live at the block just across the car park from us, literally just 5 mins away from us. 

I am learning every day to let go of "stories"-- of how things ought to be, could have been or should have been. I am learning to trust myself and to interact even more with people & the universe.  

Moving on to happier lives, all of us.

On a even more personal note, I say - Never say never. 

Bren & I have somewhat rebuilt our relationship, which is something I thought never could happen. 

So, in short-- Yay! 

Little Sun

Nano Bricks from Daiso 

 went to collect my parcel. 

We had used our old pair for about... four years I think.
They were already worn and couldn't function well....
We had lived without our Little Suns for about..... 8 months?  Because it is expensive to get them. At least to my current low SES, these are expensive ($120 for these 2).
However, I value these Solar Lamps a lot.
Firstly, it saves me to trouble to get out from bed to switch off the lights after idling in bed & being lazy to get up.
Secondly, we actually do read more when we have these lamps. In bed, we read.
I hope that one day soon, I will be able to purchase a couple more of these for my friends and family.
I love sharing what I love.

Fuzzy Warmth

Of late, there have been more Fuzzy, Warm and Loving moments between the kids and myself. 

We do get these moments previously, just that explosive, angry episodes had acted up more often previously too. We were running on tensed mode for years, it is refreshing to have now let it all go. 

Good thing, in the last two months, there has been a noticeable improvement in my temperament and to my surprise, the kids' temperaments in the last two weeks were that of harmony. 

It made me wonder if entirely, we had all been adversely affected by the overburdened life of having to care for the well-being of three invalids. Now that Granny and Charmaine are in the hospital, it is a relief not just for us but for Granny and Charmaine as well. They get visitors from their religious faith (volunteers), they get nurses who know what they're getting in to (diaper changing, bathing and all). They get meals that are calculated and planned. They have an environment that they prefer. (no screaming episodes from Charmaine now). 

As much as I lament that this change should have come earlier, I almost could hug the peaceful and harmonious life that we have now, the appreciation is so darn dense, it is almost tangible. 

Of course we still have to deal with the pressure of Students' Life and Working Mom's Life but that is normal for a typical local family living in Singapore. Except that our family is on a single-income. 

So anyway, last night, the kids made "Presents" for me. Their presents are darn creative, I'd tell you. 

They hid a present inside the "present box" made of Lego. Colin's present for me comes with a Bow ribbon. How cute is that?  

We kissed and hugged away while my Mom sat on the sofa observing us silently. 

My mom's staying over for a couple of days since my helper is on home vacay. 

Bow Ribbon Gift Box

Inside the Gift Box is.... Hammey! (They know I like this toy hamster)

Oh, my poor Hammey! Tight fitted. 

 Kiki's Gift Box is more Festive and contains a Corgi with an ice cream popsical and a bone. 

Design the life you love

 Cloudy morning, November 15th 

 I must look harmless and local, I always get approached for directions to the ATM, to the train ticketing kiosks, to this and that building or shopping malls. Always.

 Need I say more?  Design the life you love! 

(stop whining, get going)

PREMA- a portion of happiness derives from these areas. 

Find your own PREMA. 

Although some of the times, I do desire a more affluent lifestyle, I have to tug my heartstrings and remind myself that to regulate my desires and stop beating up my own psyche. 

I am glad that self-regulation comes easier with age.

 "你的生活，我的梦想”。

“我的生活， 你的理想”。

Our National Day 2017

 Traffic congestion from town, our accompanist was almost late.

Just two days before the "Open Class", I received an email on the date and time slot for our Solo Performance. I really had no idea what this class was about. Her teacher had recommended us to attend this class and told her to "just play one piece of any song".  So we thought it was something casual. Until I read the email saying that we have to arrange for our own accompanist (pianist, in our case).  I informed her teacher but she asked why the event is held on a holiday. I take it as she will not be volunteering herself as the accompanist. I clarified with the school's admin and they say to bring the CD. But I don't have a CD when I bought that exam book, where do I find the piano tune then?  The more I thought over it, the more uneasy I became. So I asked my friend Pam if she could ask her daughter to play the tune and whatsapp me the video so that I can play it over my phone...... to think that I thought of that is crazy shit. It shows how little I know what was going on. Luckily Pam is not as blur as me. She quickly roped in her contact to help us. Pro bono some more. Over just one hour of getting to build a bit of rapport with Kiki, they practiced a little on the eve of our event. Good thing we had him with us, due to the quiet and tensed atmosphere in the studio, Kiki was nervous and her rhythm was out by a little. I cringed as she walked on stage, that little girl was hunching even more than she normally did. She was like trying to make herself small, arched and slouching shoulders. Gosh, girl, you have to stand tall! She played not as well as she normally did. I think she must have been really nervous but she carried on. She sat at the other section with all the other students, so I wasn't able to talk to her or calm her. But I had signaled her "I love you". While the other kids played their violins, I could tell that Kiki was impressed. Each time after one kid finishes his/her performance, Kiki looked at me and nodded. Like tell me- ya, that was fantastic. I thought to myself, wow, these children, are they born prodigies? They were professional. I saw stickers bearing - Bronze, Silver, Gold labels. I thought well, nevermind lah, Bronze is fine, at least we get to learn what these kind of classes are about. Then the adjudicator (empire/judge) announced that she was delighted that she needn't issue any Bronze certificates for this class. My heart smiled, yay, Silver will be nice. Before the certificate presentation, the adjudicator went on to explain that more important than playing every single notes accurately, is the flow and ability to touch the hearts of the audience. She suggests that we watch or learn the Flamingo Dance, be confident, entertaining, be poised and enjoy. She also added that unlike many other instruments, violin is one of the most difficult instrument to play. She says unlike a piano key that makes a particular note, the violin player has to "call out" the note from the violin using his/her arms and fingers. Well, I hadn't thought of it that way. After she presented quite many Silver certificates, she said- Now, the Gold. Rachael.  My heart leaped. Wow, we got Gold!  Hahahaha. Felt undeserving but still heart-bursting. Thank you, for the encouragement, we will keep learning and improving.

 Thanks for the last minute notice & showing up for us. 

We need to learn Stage Etiquette. Cannot let nervousness get the better of us.

 

Thank you for the music

Someone from the Temple was upgrading their piano and wanted to give away their old unit. My Shifu recommended that we have it. I was hesitant because there is no space in my home. But my Shifu still recommends that I reconsider. I discussed with Bren and we decided to accept the piano. 

It is a used Steinburg (Germany), it has several keys that are totally spoiled; they gave a "twaaaaanng" sound and the children had a good giggle since they find it amusing.  We will need to get it repaired and tuned. 

Last night, Colin asked if he could play on the piano. 

I was like - Sure, go ahead. 

(I was in the room going through the 10 pages of English worksheet with Kiki).

Then came the sweet music. The boy played - "Ode to Joy" on the piano. Right hand only. But it was sweet music. Boy, I had no idea he plays not bad. 

Wonderful! Now the two of them could really use the used piano. 

Thanks for giving us your used piano

Ode to Joy 

Surprise

Dear Mummy,

Congratulations!
You've won a Medal!

So nice, for nothing won a medal  =) LOL. complete with ribbon brooch some more.

Hens Night

Talked about everything that was funny, caught up on kids stuff, attempted a potential match making for cousin Janice. And we played the word guessing game- Taboo via an App. We laughed until we squatted on the floor, at times, the jaws almost locked. We also had our version of the "Ice Bucket Challenge". We never did grow up!

 Ice Bucket Challenge 

(waitress has to treat Kiki a desert if she loses, while Kiki has to play the violin if she loses)

  Ice Bucket Challenge  

(loser has to do a dance for the guests outside)

They stuck their hands into the bucket of ice for almost 3 minutes.