Life

I feel like I should re-introduce myself and my ward of patients.  The past 6 months have been pretty tough going for the most part-  with a few scattered reports of joy.

Here it is-  January.  Many things have changed in the Looney Bin- mostly for the better, although the changes themselves felt like the world caving in for a while there.

The best HAPPY of all- is the anticipated arrival of a new patient!  Outpatient and LOL are embarking on that test of all tests known as parenthood- and have already experienced a few stresses.  I was barely adjusting my thoughts to the idea of maybe someday in the grandparent mode- and that very weekend- we received this:

To say that we are thrilled is an understatement.  To say that I feel even remotely like a grandmother is an overstatement-  but all patients are excitedly awaiting the future Princess-  Oldest has  been especially cute with his excitement- although he was hoping for a Prince.  The addition is expected Mid-April, and there is actually hope that she comes a little late- as that is finals week for Outpatient.

Tender Mercies Tuesday- On this day in history

It was Valentines Day in 1986.  I was working at the Campus Craft and Floral shop at BYU (it is no longer what it was- that is for sure).  A floral shop anywhere on and around Valentines Day is pretty crazy, but a Marriage Crazy College???  We had tried to simplify things for us by having those very smart young men and women who PRE-Orders their flowers and/or balloons pick their orders up in the hallway door- right by the barber shop.  I was given that work detail- to blow up and make balloon bouquets, and hand out the orders as well as prep deliveries.  I was so glad I didn't have to work out in the actual shop, where the line wrapped around twice and went out the door into the foyer of the ELWC (that doesn't even remotely look the same anymore either)

During that crazy busy day, we would leave when we had classes and then hurry back to work.  Most of the time we left out one of the back doors so as to avoid the crush in the store.  I do know that I went out into the store front on two occasions that day-  once to get an arrangement out of the fridge for someone, and once to go to a class.  Tender Mercy Alert.

During one of those times, the DR was in the shop, buying flowers for his girlfriend at the time.  Of course I didn't see him that I know of, and if I had- he would have blended in to the mass of humanity trying to get romantic gifts for their sweetie last minute.  Whichever time it was, he saw me, and he noted what I was wearing, and noted that I worked there and was not just someone in there to shop.

One week later- Sue, a girl I worked with, came up to me and asked if I would be willing to go on a blind date with a friend of hers.  I had no objections.  Seems he had seen me on Valentines Day, and was able to describe me to her- "She was wearing a red jumpsuit"-  Sue knew exactly who he meant and had kindly looked up my work schedule for him.  Before you get the wrong idea-  the DR and the girlfriend had broken up immediately after Valentines- and Sue  was trying to help him get right back out there.

Saturday- the DR tried valiantly all day to connect with me (no cellphones in those days-  we are THAT old), and finally managed to at 5:00 pm- hoping for a 6:00 date.  I did say yes- then I didn't know what to do because I forgot what his name was.  Awkward.  I was saved by my very best friend who kindly answered the door, and inquired for his name so he could sneakily share that information with me.

Things were a tad strange because I still lived at home, had a curfew (seriously, DAD???  12:00 in college?)  AND my dad had a strange rule that we couldn't go out of town for date.  I lived in Provo- and Orem was considered out of town.  Obviously, I didn't mind that rule very well.

Dinner at the Spaghetti Factory, then we went to this other girls home ( I have mentioned her before-  she was the best friend of the girl who waited for the DR on his mission). Then getting ME the BABY home by my oh so adult curfew.

Despite all of that- Here we are- 26 years, 2 dogs, 4 kids, three across state line moves, four across town moves, 8 years of infertility, living with each set of in-laws- unmarried and married, as well as untold other moments of drama.

It hasn't been roses and chocolate all the time-  but it has been often enough.

I love you, DR of my heart and soul.  You have made me a much better person, and I am in awe- still- at the events that took place to bring us together at the right time in both of our lives.

Thanks for the roses and chocolate covered strawberries.  They are beautiful and delicious.

January in a Nut Shell-

Well- my blogging hasn't gone well as of late-  hampered a great deal by a huge increase in my hours of employment-  like doubling.  Like full time plus some overtime.  And an increase in hockey activity as well.

We started of the New Year with:

Grandma Bunnie had a birthday.  She is older. Ha.

The DR got the tree taken down and out of my house on the 2nd.  That may not seem remarkable- but the last few years it has still been up when Oldest's birthday rolled around.

PB&J was made a Bishop in a newly formed Singles Ward.

Miss Middle and Oldest played a lot of hockey.

Piano back in session after holiday break.

Then- more and more hockey.

I GOT A NEW OVEN!!!!! A double/ convection  oven.

Baby sister's baby A was blessed- but the girls of this ward were unable to attend because we were snowed in at hockey games.

Oldest turned FIFTEEN!  Not sure who gave him permission to do that.

Baby Sister's baby A had surgery on her skull, and that same day, her beloved dog, Flash, passed away. 

Then the night of the 30th, we received a phone call that a young man Outpatient and the DR had hometaught in our old ward had shot himself.

END OF THE NUTSHELL PART.

A little more detail-

 At the meeting where my BIL was called and sustained as a new bishop- there were two men on the stand from my home ward growing up.  That was rather surprising to me.  What are the odds?  He is going to make a great bishop.   We sent Middle to play hockey in a different state with a friend that weekend.  Everyone but her plays hockey on Sunday.  She had to stand up all by herself  (without even her parents) for her choice to not play hockey and break the Sabbath.  She was shocked to learn that two other members on her team are also members of the church (one she already knew was so there are a total of 5 members of our faith including her, which is a pretty high percentage considering there are only 15 girls on the roster).  It is hard for her to understand why they go to church and yet not only play hockey but do many other things that they have been taught are not good.  I was a little worried about what her choice would be, but she held firm and from what I heard, she did it with humility and class.  Good Girl! Her teammates had some interesting ideas for her, including saying that it was Monday instead.  I think they do respect her for her decision  and her coach told both me and her that he would take her any time he can get her, and he would rather have her half the time then not at all.

We had ordered a new oven and it was supposed to be delivered on Dec 23.  It wasn't.  Then it was backordered again.  Well- actually- it was built specifically for us because we ordered white I guess.  Anyway-  I didn't get to do my Christmas cookie baking in it-  but we christened it by cooking lasagna, brownies and then three pizzas all at the same time.  And I have since baked 9 dozen cookies in just a couple of hours.  I need a few more silpats and good baking sheets :)

Oh-  and I taught RS in there too-  I was not at peace with the lesson, and felt that I didn't present it as well as I would like.  It didn't help that my neighbor had her farewell talk that day and our former bishop whom we are very close with spoke as well.  I was emotional, and coughing up my lung- so it wasn't my best.  I hope the sisters felt the spirit though.  Many spoke to me after- so I guess maybe it went better than I was afraid.


The weekend of Oldest's birthday was a crazy one- the girls headed to Middle's hockey.  Outpatient drove out and the boys took off a day to go find snow and ride the machines.  Then Oldest also played hockey games.  The girls got up and headed out of town. nearly had a wreak on snow packed roads and then had to endure the bulk of the trip in a stinky car after Youngest got motion sick and threw up. She gets that from her mother.  Thank goodness that my aunt lives where we were headed and even more thank goodness she was in town and Youngest got a shower.  Miss Sophie wasn't so lucky- but I wiped her with wipes as best I could.  As we headed to the rink, it had begun to snow.  Lots of snow.  By the end of the game there was over 4 inches.  The only roads home are mountainous, dark, lightly traveled, and poor cell phone service at best.  So- after fueling up our tummies and car, we headed to the one remaining open road- only to find it super slick, snowing heavily, and pitch dark.  So we turned around and got a hotel- sneaking in Miss Sophie.  She is a good hotel dog- surprisingly.  I had made the girls grab extra clothes and over night stuff just in case, and I had grabbed my computer so if we got stuck there- we would be prepared.  Well- I forgot to grab clothes for myself- and who knew that Youngest would have used hers up in the first 30 minutes.  So- we made a quick trip to Wally world- and I did a load of laundry at the hotel.  And I vowed to RESTOCK my  car's emergency supplies like wipes and sacks for sick kids.  I also found that I left my power supply at home so I worked like a crazy woman for as long as my battery lasted. The drive home the next morning was bright and sparkly-  very slick and a few scary moments when I wondered what I would do if I could not make it up the iced over hill and I started to slide back down-  but it was all good-  I think we said 4 or 5 prayers for safety- and after the first 30 minutes- the roads were clear. 

In the meantime-  the DR, Outpatient, and Oldest headed back from their trip and got up early and headed out to Baby A's blessing.  I feel so bad that I missed it :(  I haven't missed very many of my niece and nephew's blessings.   The DR and Oldest got home very late but safely.  I am thankful for that.  It was a bit of nutso.

We had Oldest's birthday breakfast-  but because his birthday fell on a payroll Monday- we deferred the rest of his celebrating until the next Sunday. I made his cake in two layers of cherry chip and one of chocolate and it was decorated like the Wild Thing in "Where the Wild Things Are"-  it turned out cute, I think.  I got a little teary as we were singing Happy birthday with our great Neighbor/Friends, and I thought back to the first time we had gathered for his birthday-  the same group- only older and with the addition of Youngest and one other little brother, and a cousin who is living with Grandma and Grandpa.  We have all lived here for nearly 15 years now. 

Friday brought Baby A's surgery on her skull which went very well- but the day ended in sadness with my brother in law returning home from the hospital to find Flash had passed away.  I am probably almost as sad as if he was my dog.  He loved me a lot. :)  He had started having seizures recently and it is probably for the best- as he most likely had a tumor or something-  but still so sad.  My youngest brother and my BIL buried him in their backyard, and in the morning- he and the kids had a little funeral. Baby and Mom got to come home on Sunday- and get on with the healing. 

The phone rang at 11:00  pm on Monday night, and it was Outpatient telling us that V had shot himself.  I wrote about him a little bit here.  He is currently stable and Outpatient and LOL are going to try and visit him.  I was so sad for him that night, I couldn't sleep.  I though about the bond formed with Outpatient during those months when Outpatient and the DR were hometeaching, and the little extra effort for friendship that Outpatient made.  I hope that this will be a turning point for V- and that somehow- that bond can be strengthned and he will find his way out of the darkness he has been living in. 

In all- January was a rather rollercoaster month- super busy, and now on to February.

When ye are in the service of your fellow beings...

On Friday, August 6th,  We received word that a friend and former teammate of Outpatient had been killed.  He was killed in action while serving our country as a Marine, stationed in Afghanistan.  I have been putting off writing about it because it hits close to the heart and because Small Town made the news due to the Hero's Welcome his remains received. 

We were up at the DR's family reunion, and Outpatient and LOL joined us, and shared the bad news.  Then we came home to the news of the Navy Seals and other members of the Armed Forces had been shot down during a rescue mission.  Nobody on the nation scene heard about our local soldier, and probably wouldn't have.  Except that our community rallied together, lined the streets with flags and people.  Many who didn't even know him, but wanted to express their gratitude for his and his family's ultimate sacrifice.  We were out of town, so only the DR was in town to pay his respects that day, but it was an incredible sight. 

I saw a page for info on facebook, and at the time there about 300 invites out-  but within about 2 hours-, they had swelled to over 6000.  Facebook was an amazing tool in bringing together our community for a hero's welcome.  Someone mentioned that it is unfortunate that every soldier doesn't get to come home to this.

 The girls and I came home to an incredible sight.  While it isn't every home, many all over the valley have signs, yellow or red,white, and blue ribbons, flags- many of which are flying at half staff.  It is so touching.

 These pictures were taken by a local resident-  but I took some while driving through so they looked kind of lousy.  I wish you could all drive through this roundabout and the approximately 8 miles worth of solid flags.  They are also at the cemetery where he is being laid to rest as I type this.  I was going to attend, but then I thought of all the people who knew him better than I who could use the space I would take.  Outpatient, LOL, and many of the other soccer team are there.

May our Father in Heaven hold Sgt Daniel Gurr's family in his hands in the coming days, when the rest of our community goes back to life as usual.  I know that Dan is looking down and probably in such awe at the many lives he has touched, by giving his.

I would love to give credit to the photographers, and editors of the pictures in this post, but I don't know who they are. Please note that I did not take any of these but I am grateful to have them.

Tender Mercies

The most amazing thing about Tender Mercies is how individualized and personal they are. And how simplistic or involved- how they can be to you- for you- or through you.


The DR and Oldest (and many other family members) spent the weekend helping get Grandma and Grandpa packed up and ready to move home, then on Monday, the DR and his sisters took the boys to check in for EFY. Now- Oldest is not the most outgoing person in the world. And his cousins aren't either, so the mommas have wondered and worried (and-truth be told- giggled) about how this adventure was going to go. Oldest at least gets one cousin for his roommate- the other cousin is having to go solo. Anyway- so they are headed back to their room to make sure the boys have what they need and there is a boy across the hall who says to my nephew, C- "hey- what is your last name"- well, this about cause near panic that a stranger had spoken and neither boy answered. So- the DR or his sister said that his name was M- and the other was Larsen. Turns out that the boy had grown up back east with CM- they had been in the same ward and played together all the time. As the DR was relating this fun tidbit to me- my first thought was "tender mercy"- this will most likely make it easier for the boys to interact in their group (CM especially) and for those of you who know Oldest in real life- here is hoping he will actually talk to people. at all. Besides CM and J.

Tender Mercy - I received a call later on Tuesday night. The inlaws had not left for home until very late, and my sister in law was already enroute with the rest of her kids when she tried to stop and buy some crackers to feed and distract her baby girl for the rest of the trip to Small Town. Lo and behold- she had no purse. She must have left it behind at her sisters. Anyway- she called me to see if I could meet her with some cash so she could go to the store and buy some basics since there would be no groceries at the house. However- I was one step ahead of her- I had already been to the store and put groceries in the fridge and house because I knew that Mom and Dad L would be super tired and not want to run to the store, and who knew if they were bringing food from the apartment or not- so I opted to be prepared for them- just in case. I got to be the provider of a tender mercy for my SIL- which is a neat thing.



NOTE:  I WROTE THIS LAST WEDNESDAY NIGHT- BUT BLOGGER WOULDN'T COOPERATE AND SAVE IT-  I SAVED IT IN WORD AND FORGOT ABOUT IT UNTIL I JUST FOUND IT IN MY DOCCUMENTS FILE :)

Sunday Moment

I just want to record here the spiritual experiences from today.  It is seldom than an entire Sacrament Meeting has me near or in tears but today was such a day.

The DR is conducting this month and he is out helping his parents so he just called me to hear how it went.  Thanks to last week being Father's Day- (which was also a great meeting) , he had asked for one of the YM and the YM president to speak about their experiences with the Aaronic Priesthood encampment as well as a couple of the YW and one of their leaders to speak about Girls Camp.  There are times in General Conference and other such  meetings where the General Leaders talk about our youth- and today was such an experience.  To hear of such strong testimonies and the bonds of friendship and brotherhood or sisterhood that are forged at such events just gets the spirit burning. 

The young man who spoke is the older brother to Middle's friend B- and he spoke about their building of their fortress against the storms-  in real life-  but it was also metaphorical for me-  the relationships these young men make on the camps and activities are helping to build the fortress against the storms of High School and Life in general. He spoke of some of the boys reading their scriptures together in their "man cave"- mentioning Oldest by name- and the discussions they had.  He went on to speak about the strength of the youth in our ward-  which for the most part- they are really great and stalwart. He was teary and so was his mom and I at the very least.

The young women also spoke of the spiritual experiences that they had and felt.  They are both girls from my circle- and I have known them for the past 13- 14 years.  The spirit was strong- even in the midst of their personalities shining brightly through.  H has known and babysat my patients pretty much all of their lives- her sisters are my patients' close friends- but this camp gave Middle and H a whole new level of relationship.  It was heartwarming to see H's face glow with the spirit.  I couldn't contain it either. She sang a beautiful song- accapella and beautifully.   The YW leader- in the interest of time- briefly summarized what the girls had said- from the perspective of an adult.  It was perfect.

The final speaker was the YM president who happens to be a firefighter in his spare time (he is a banker by trade).  He talked about the service project, the twist of events which led to him speaking to the youth instead of the Bishop- which then led to him being reluctant to take up time during testimony meeting, until the spirit hit him so hard to share the thoughts he was having.  Which were these-  each of the youth spoke of feeling the spirit, of their testimonies.  He said it was like the fire they had been sitting around-  it had started out big, and bright and burning hot and clean-  but then as time went on- they didn't put any more fuel on the fire and it began to burn lower and less bright, it also created more smoke and the lower it burned, the more hazy it became.  For some reason- this analogy really hit me.  We talk a lot about needing to feed and strengthen our testimonies, even likening it to a fire-  but the visual of the increasing haze as they didn't feed the fire was so incredible to me.

Memories-

I have been reminiscing quite a bit the last few days.  Remembering things from my childhood.  I have posted on here before about Marcia, here.  a longtime family friend and one of the sweetest people you could be so fortunate to know.  Well, Marcia is married to one of the sweetest men you could ever know.  His name is Dennis.  Dennis has been living with Parkinson's for many many years, until Sunday when Heavenly Father called him home.  Dennis and Marcia owned and operated a care facility for the mentally (and physically) challenged.  They raised 6 kids and were close friends with my parents for over 40 years.  On Facebook today, one of the daughters posted that people keep telling her it is for the best.  She says it doesn't feel like it is for the best.  And it won't, for her anyway. 

It is interesting, because we just passed the 23rd anniversary of my father's accident.  My mom and I were discussing how we had prayed so hard for my dad to live, but if we had known just what he would have to live with and through, we might not have prayed quite so hard.  My dad's health is going downhill fast.  He has always been so adamantly proud of getting out of a wheelchair and re-learning how to walk.  Just recently he told my mom he needs a chair again.  This is a major concession for him.  He is falling a lot.  Getting confused (dementia) more and more.  It is hard to watch, and when it is time for him to go on, it will be for the best, and I will feel that it is. For all intents and purposes, I lost my dad 23 years ago.  For Dennis' family, his body was sick, but his mind was still okay.  His personality was still there and intact.

I have great memories of time spent with their family.  Softball games and camping, and just running around the neighborhood.  I remember a Christmas time when my dad was trying to help them with their plumbing and we couldn't get our celebration started until he was done.  ( I might or might not have been kind of bratty about that).

I am grateful for Dennis and Marcia and the example and influence they have had in my life.  It probably feels amazing to Dennis to not have his body trapping him.  My thoughts are with the family this week, that is for sure.

Tender Mercies Tuesday- in the Eye of the beholder (yes it is Wednesday)

Oldest has been trying out several brands of contacts- he has astigmatism in the right eye-  but it has improved to where he doesn't have to have a contact specifically for that.  Which is great- but has made fitting him with a different type a bit tricky.  We have been trying since the first of March (remember?  I took him in the day after finding out he was sick with pneumonia again).

Anyway- finally found a keeper, but when I called, the soonest we could get in was June 1.  Today.  I picked an early appt because I have to work.

The doctor came in and made some small talk- remember I live in Small Town and you generally end up knowing people on many levels around here.  He grew up with the DR, one son played soccer with Outpatient, another son had a mutual little crush on Middle a while back. Anyway- he asked about the wedding and how things had gone, etc.

He looked at me as he was turning off the light to begin the exam- and stopped short.

As soon as he was done with Oldest- he stuck me in his chair, blinded my poor hurting eye with light- and told me I have celulitis.  He gave me a prescription for an oral antibiotic and an optical one, told me if I get a fever or start seeing double to get to the emergency room. And that if Oldest had it- he would be in the hospital for 3 days!!!

So- I got into a doctor and got a prescription without have to do anything.  I might mention that I made the appointment for Oldest over two weeks ago.  Just saying.

Weekend Drama/ Tender Mercies

So- as I mentioned, the wedding day was gorgeous, the sealing was a wonderful experience with wonderful counsel.  I have been to a few ;) sealings of family and friends and it is always so inspiring to hear the words for each couple.  The luncheon- although an unusual take on wedding luncheons- went very well and was very yummy.  We had some of our awesome friends come all the way from Oregon, and then their kids came down from Idaho so after the lunch was over and everyone was on their way to the various destinations, we went to just say a quick hello.  At about 4:00- we decided we better get on the road, but first I had to stop at a craft store to pick up some more ribbon.

This is where the drama began.

First- although the store is a big chain store-  layout was different and I was getting a little stressed looking for the right aisle.  Finally found it and bought them out of the ribbon I wanted.  Then, when I went to the checkout-  long line, one checker, and the person in front of me had a bunch of returns.  Alrighty- having fun now. Finally- another checker came and I headed over to her line.  Rang up the total and swiped my card.  Declined.  Said I had reached my spending limit for the day????  What?  This was a debit card- so if there is money in the account- I can spend it right?  Anyway-  I pulled out a different card and used it- then thought- oh- I wonder if it has to do with paying for the luncheon a few hours ago.

Didn't make sense, but I paid and headed out.  I asked the DR about it- and it didn't make sense to him either- and since we needed to go to the bank anyway, I got on the phone to get directions to the nearest branch- and ask them what the deal was.  Several holds, lots of questions, and a trip into the branch, we found out that our cards had been frozen due to the security breach at Michaels Craft store.  I have used my debit card there a total of two times in the last- well- forever- but because I had, our cards were not going to work anymore.  As we were driving out of town- I was still dealing with the guy who was trying to get this figured out for me- I explained to him that we were out of town for our son's wedding, and going to be driving out of state, and needing to stop for fuel, food, whatever and I couldn't be without my card functioning.  So- we had to turn around and go back to the branch and get new cards issued.  Fun Fun Fun.  It was now almost 6:00-  and we finally got on the road. Nothing quite like finding out at 5:00 on a Friday night that you are card-less (well- debit card less) as you are headed out of state.

Now- here is where the tender mercy part comes in.  What if I hadn't stopped to buy ribbon?  What if the message with the declined charge hadn't seemed weird to me?  What if we had been in another state without a nearby branch to go to?  You know what else- what I was buying the ribbon for didn't even get used, and although I was wishing we hadn't had those items hauled up and then have to find space to haul them all back.  If we hadn't, back to question 1-  what if I hadn't stopped to buy ribbon.

Now, I know the situation could have been handled and dealt with by using another card, but that would have required taking the time to transfer money from different accounts- or putting stuff on the credit cards-  but it would have made me stress. 

Where did the time go? - Tender Mercies

There is no doubt that this little punk has been a source of trials as well as the tenderest of mercies in the DR and my lives.  How very grateful I am for him and the life he has managed to live despite all the temptations and challenges of our world. He has not been the perfect child, but he also has been far easier than a lot.  I am grateful for the Tender Mercies which made it possible for him to move forward with his life and seek out and find LOL.  They are going to be so great together.  He called tonight and was getting ready to scour the bathroom in their new apartment.  We have less than 10 days until the wedding.  On Saturday, we get to attend the temple with LOL as she goes through for the first time.  I get a bit teary thinking of it.  I wonder if my mil thought about me and the DR in the way I think about my two.  I highly doubt it.  I am totally fine with being an emotional mess when it comes to my patients. 

Dear Outpatient.  I miss this smile!  and that little boy who was so full of energy his dad thought he had A D D sometimes :)

Tender Mercies- rewind-

I have been a bad blogger- for several reasons-sorry, I hope to get back to my old blogging ways after the current mad dashes-  but I just had something remind me of our time in Washington-  one of the girls I used to teach in Primary and a good friend of Outpatient's- just received her mission call to Washington-

We lived in Auburn WA for a few years, and that is one of the areas that the DR served as a missionary.  When he was serving there, the state was divided into two missions-  now there are lots more- but anyway.

When we moved there, the DR already knew lots of people in many areas and this blessed our lives many times with places to stay, people to call in an emergency, etc.  It was often hard for me because these people were strangers to me, and obviously it had been quite a few years since Elder Larsen had seen these people but my husband is so not shy.

What was then an amazing thing, and still is today, was what happened too many times to just be coincidence. 

My husband loved his missionary service.  It was not easy, he has more than a few horror stories, but he was serving with his whole heart and loved it.

We didn't often get to feed the missionaries because it very seldom worked out that the DR could be there- plus there were always lots of people who wanted to, also.  Our ward would quickly fill up the whole calendar. But we had the chance about every 4-6 months or so.  Without fail, it would be right before transfers, and without fail, the missionaries would talk about hoping to not be transferred to a certain area because of one reason or another.  And, without fail, the DR would bring out his journals and read things from them to the missionaries.  And then talk about how much he loved that area, certain people, and then, without fail, one of the missionaries would be transferred to that area.  I believe that the missionaries were sent to our home at those particular times in order to soften or prepare their hearts to serve where they were to be called.  It wasn't just one or two times this happened, it was every time but once- and that once was a memorable experience for an entirely different reason. 

I loved these experiences and I only wish I would have thought to keep in touch with all those missionaries afterwards- just to see what happened.

Tender Mercies- I REMEMBERED!

Yesterday, for the life of me, I couldn't remember a biggie that I had wanted to post about.  Must be that I am over 40.  Anyway-  this morning, I was thinking about some different things and I remembered!

You might recall that in January, I  was given a new calling in church.  Maybe you don't, I wouldn't blame you because it is nearly to the end of March, and I have yet to do anything with regards to that calling, other than prepare lessons that I don't end up giving.  You might ask why that is, well I am going to tell you.

Back in November and December, I was feeling a bit of stress trying to make life happen in my rather tight schedule.  I didn't say anything out loud to anybody- not even the DR, whom you might recall is in the bishopric- but I did put the thought out there in my little thought prayers.  I knew I was doing a good job and they wouldn't be likely to move me, but I felt that I needed a break.  Teaching RS may not seem like a break to some people, but to me it is.

So, I was not totally surprised to be called in to talk with the bishop, who is also my neighbor.  He was more surprised by my lack of concern with the calling, and the fact that I had in fact had that calling before.  Anyway-  I was told to be prepared to teach on Fasting the following Sunday, so I was working on it.  On Thursday night, the DR called to tell me that I wouldn't need to teach because Sis. Smith was already prepared to teach and would be teaching.  Fine with me.  Then, in February, I prepared to teach my lesson, this time on Work and Responsibility.  The week before, I was called and told that the Stake President was going to take all the lesson time.  They were worried that I was going to be offended-  not hardly.

So, now March- on a normal month, I would have been scheduled to teach last Sunday, but it was our Stake Conference.

So, I have had the calling for three months, prepared two lessons, and never taught.

How is this a tender mercy? Because I needed the push to study.  Because I have been on the road a lot and trying to get my thoughts together on a Sunday morning after pulling into town either late Saturday or early Sunday is hard.  And- need I mention that we have been SICK!!!! at this house.  I am thinking I wouldn't have been able to teach last Sunday without about dying.  And for years, our Stake Conference has been in April- the week after General Conference- so why the change this year?  Just for my benefit?  Probably not-  but maybe for me and several other people :)

I secretly prayed to my Father in Heaven for a break while I was trying to mad dash around meeting everyone's needs.  He gave me one with my calling.  I 'll take it.

I wish I was a better writer- to better convey my feelings about how strongly I know that these things happened for a reason- for me.

Tender Mercies/ Gratitude (trying to not be a slacker)

I have been so bad with being able to remember things that have been happening.  Between the sicknesses, the traveling, and everything else that occupies our time, my brain is a bit on the fritz.

Today, I am again grateful to live in a small town, where you go to church with your vet, attend recitals for your kids and the kids of your doctor, watch your kids play sports together with the kids of their doctors. Where you can "back door" call them if you really need them, and might even get in to the office right away.

I am grateful the Oldest is doing so well and other than his cough, seems to be back to normal.  I am grateful that Youngest and I didn't get sick until he was feeling better.  It may be dragging it out-  but at least it didn't overload us all at once.


Now Miss Sophie is sick.  She wasn't acting right this morning, breathing funny, and throwing up.  The DR got to take her into the vet this afternoon because I was getting a haircut.  Apparently we have shared our germs with her, so now I get to medicate the dog :)  My tender mercy with that is she is much better at that than our dog Taffey was.

Tender Mercies Tuesday- meeting our needs

This week, I want to focus on/ share some thoughts on my job situation.

Over a year ago, the DR and I took a "family inventory" and decided that it was not in our family's best interest for me to continue working as much as I had been.  I went to sort of an on-call status.  That lasted from December until last August when the "call" part of that went into effect.  It was only supposed to be for a couple of months, a few hours here and there.  It was more like three plus hours most days of the week.  And it didn't get less, it has gradually become more.

In August, the Outpatient was pretty sure he had found his eternal queen.  So far, my job has been paying cash for all things wedding.

Two weeks ago- I had a very heavy work week.  I added about 20 hours over three days.  I didn't enjoy that too much, because as you are aware, the rest of my life didn't just go on hold- as a matter of fact, I had two super sick patients at that time.  But that too, was a blessing in the sense that it took the hockey part out for a few days. Which allowed for those extra hours to fit in a bit better.

Anyway- this past weekend, it was discovered that Fergie- our car that Outpatient drives, is in dire need of new tires (I swear it seems like we just put some on it but it has been at least a couple of years and it did drive all over Montana, Wyoming, Utah, and Idaho).

Well- those extra hours will pretty much pay for new tires.

Tender Mercies Tuesday- not forgotten

I wouldn't want anyone to think I have quit being grateful for the Lord's hand in my life-  I just have had a hard time blogging in general lately and I have had severe memory loss too-  but I want to take note of a few that have been in conjunction with my new calling.

Our Stake and Wards were re-aligned 3 years ago last month.  I have looked around on Sundays and felt like there are still so many strangers to me.  I have been serving in primary or sort of on permanent substitute status for all three years and I seldom can get to the other activity meetings because of our schedule.  So, going into RS one exceptionally rare Sunday, I listened as a woman whom I had no idea who she was gave her lesson, and the Spirit whispered that I would be teaching in her stead very soon.  In a way, the Lord was letting me know he had heard my heart say there were too many unfamiliar faces in the ward and He was giving me the opportunity to look at a bunch of them.  Before the next time that sister was to teach, I had been given that calling.

I had also, in my heart, been struggling with my other calling as Activity Day leader, because I was feeling a little burned out, but even more so, I was feeling the time crunch of trying to squish it in on the one semi-free afternoon I had, but I was often coming home to girls already arrived.  I was persevering, though.

The next little blessing is that when I was called, they asked me to teach that very next Sunday- no problem.  I began to prepare the lesson, which was on Fasting.  I had some close to my heart experiences to share with the sisters, but- the other sister already had prepared and so she taught.  I thought about what I had considered sharing, and still feel that they should be shared, but that Sister S- needed to give that lesson- either for herself or for others.

I then began preparing my next lesson (work and responsibilities), and have been called this last week- in the midst of lots of extra work and sick patients- and informed that the Stake President will be taking all the class time that day for Ward conference. 

I might get to teach in April :)-  then in May- we have THE WEDDING that weekend. 

So- by June, I will have the calling 6 months and maybe have taught twice.

I am not worried about actually teaching, so I feel that the Lord is mindful of my time struggles and the many plates I am trying to balance right now, wants to make sure I am willing to serve without over-stressing me and is allowing that to take place. And after all- that is what Tender Mercies are all about-  the very personal blessings.

Tender Mercies Tuesday- Our Dogs.

Edited to note:  Both of our dogs came to us in special circumstances.

I think you all realize how beloved our little Miss Spoiled Rotten is.  Last night and today, there were a few moments that just made my heart so happy- it really is like she is one of my patients.  I was on the phone with one of my many sister-in-laws, and I walked into the front room to find Miss Sophie flat on her back with her goose in her mouth, across and covering her whole face- she looked like she was asleep that way!  Anyway-  my movement caused her to move before I could take a picture :(-  but trust me-  one of the funniest moments ever.

I love it when she comes in from outside duties and waits for her treat.  And follows you around forever- or at least until she decides you really are going to be stingy. I love that she has her trot, her prance, and her major swagger.  I love that she comes and digs at my leg to get me to let her sit on my lap while I work, and then she settles in with a giant sigh.  I love that she attacks the blow dryer when we are drying her, but she will come and sit right under me while I blow dry mine. Almost like she is giving me moral support for having to deal with that awful thing. She makes us all smile many times a day.

What some don't know is that Miss Sophie had a predecessor. Her name was Taffey. She was an American Eskimo/ Blond Cocker Spaniel mix.  She was a great dog and severely attached to us.  So attached, that if we left her behind, she would cause damage to carpeting or other stuff.  We loved Taffey a lot- and as a matter of fact, Oldest has never forgotten her and he was only 3 when we lost her. Taffey disappeared while we were on a trip to Mexico for a family reunion. We had left her in Cougar Town while we were gone and she ran away. It was a tough deal for us. She was our "First Child", and we had had her for 11 years. The DR spent hours looking for her the night we got back to Cougar Town, but we had to go home in the morning.  Our BIL spent a lot of time looking for her at the animal shelters.  I spent a week out in Cougar Town visiting vets and pounds, driving around looking into yards. It was years before I quit looking for her by habit every time we went out there. I expected her to greet me when I got home and to be under my feet when I sat down at the table.

It was 5 years before we opened our hearts back up to a furry family member.  And not to worry anyone, because it was just a reflective mood I was in earlier today-  but I thought as I watched her look out the window as the DR left for work, how heartsick I am going to be when Miss Sophie is no longer with us.  It is one of the main reasons one of my BIL's had for never getting an animal. 

But just think of all the warm feet and soft fur we would have missed out on- not to mention the love in return.

Tender Mercies Tuesday- General Conference

It has been a few conferences since I had the opportunity to listen to General Conference the way I like to listen.  Last April- there were a few too many bodies around here to make listening and paying close attention possible.  Last October, there were other, less happy distractions. This October, there were soccer games which annihilated the chance to listen on Saturday.  But- Sunday- glorious!  My sister had returned my punchkins (paperdoll paper punch set),  which youngest happily put to use.  Middle did too, for a while, and then she actually sat and listened.  Oldest listened/ dozed. The DR listened/dozed. Sophie kept my toes warm, and I listened and took notes. For two whole sessions.  In the years we lived outside of Utah, General Conference made me homesick, in part because we didn't have the blessing of listening to conference on the radio, or TV, or- GASP- the internet.  (I am that old ;)

I am grateful for the blessing of listening to our inspired and directed leaders.  I feel that the Lord is so mindful of us and our needs, and even more interestingly- so many of us share the same struggles and difficulties.  We are not alone.

Usually on the Monday after, I start "re-listening", but it was too crazy of a day.  I really want to listen and take notes from the Saturday sessions but there isn't time for that right now either.

My tender mercy is not only can we listen to every session because we live in Utah- but thanks to modern technology- I can listen when and as often as I want. And just like the temple, I am sure I will hear different messages every time

Tender Mercies Tuesday (A tad Late)- thank you honest people-

My Tender Mercy for this weekend was kind of a bigger deal.  When the patients and I stopped to visit Outpatient and O, we were talking in the parking lot because I had very little time before the BYU game would be over and I needed to meet the DR and Youngest.  I had brought Middle's picture out to give to the Grandmas, so I unlocked the car and went around to the passenger side to get it to show Outpatient.  We ended up going up to his apt because he wanted to show me something and I had bought them some doughnuts and he needed a plate to put them on.  We ended up being upstairs for quite a while. 

When we returned to the car, imagine my shock to find the driver's side door ajar. I had a mild heart attack- then noticed that the GPS was still attached to the window, that Oldest's iTouch was still sitting in the cup holder.  And my purse- full of my whole life, was sitting on the floor.  And my camera was still in the back seat. The car parked next to me was gone- so people had been right there, with my car wide open and plenty of valuables within super easy grasp.

So thank you very, very much for not stealing my belongings when I made it so very easy for you to do so, if you had so chosen.

Tender Mercies Tuesday- in the nick of time

My little tender mercy of yesterday started out feeling like a bad dream.  I was at the store and I had a cart full of stuff- case lot, regular needs, etc.  I got to the checkout and she had rung up just about everything- while I was searching for my debit card.  Then I remembered,   I had registered my patients for hockey earlier and I had left my card on the table by my computer.  My only option was to use the card for my account- which has no money in it because I haven't used it in months.  I was worried it wouldn't even go through- although I do have over draft. We have been out of checks for a while and I usually don't have the check book at all- anyway- so I knew I didn't have any checks.  I was turning 50 shades of red, when to my mind was brought the remembrance that I did, indeed, have a check in my possession.

One check.  The DR pays our bills at work and uses an accounting program (big surprise, I know).  He uses big, computer-generated checks.  He brought me some home so I could take care of a few things.  On last Thursday, I had stuck one in my purse to pay for Oldest's contacts/exam.  I hadn't used it because they had to order his contacts and the doctor said the exam was just a check so no charge.

I very happily wrote out my one check to pay for my groceries.  Not earth moving- but it made me happy.

Tender Mercies Tuesday-Perspecitve

Sometimes, we go along in life. Not really doing anything we think is overtly wrong, but knowing deep down that there are things we do that are not right. We talk about or to people with annoyance, frustration, or disrespect. And then, like the drip of water which is capable of bringing down an entire mountain, we realize the effect those comments and or actions, which seemed rather benign at the time, are having not only on our eternal progression but those around us as well. Sometimes these lessons are quite painful. Excruciatingly so.

But. When this paradigm shift occurs, beautiful things can happen. Permanent changes can be made. Repentance begun and forgiveness sought. It is the kind of change that parents hope and pray for in the wayward child. It is what estranged families hope and pray for. After all, it pretty much rips your heart out when a child says to you, "don't worry, I still love you". The poor innocents caught in the crossfire of adults behaving worse than children.

I was once in a difficult position. Someone whom the Outpatient loved and admired was making some very destructive life choices. Choices which not only could cause physical harm, but more importantly, great spiritual harm. Complete avoidance was not an option. I worried a lot about the effect this would have on Outpatient, but I also knew that Outpatient could have a good effect on the person. What a tightrope. Outpatient was in Middle School at the time. We set up some clear rules and explained them thoroughly to Outpatient. The whys both physical and spiritual. I have given a lot of thought to this, and I will tell you, I would rather my children be hurt physically than spiritually. Not that I want them hurt at all and tend to be overly protective, but, broken legs, arms, those things can be mended, fixed. Spiritual damage is much, much harder and the effects can last through eternity.

What does all this have to do with tender mercies? Sometimes tender mercies come in pretty major disguises. Things that seem like a giant trial make you stop and take stock of where you are and the choices you are making, either consciously or subconsciously. When you find your self justifying, not defending- justifying, your actions or position, maybe you need to change your position.