"to be continued" [part 1]

So, nothing more became of  "anonymous" in my previous post.
For all I know, he married the girl he started dating.
For the sake of his happiness and his goodness, oh, I hope that was the case.
Everyone deserves to find such happiness.


But...
it really was a step in a journey the Lord needed me to take to get me to where I am.
And it was one way He helped me see a different view of what I wanted/needed.
And find the courage to seek after it again once my little heart was healed and I was really ready.

There are so many details of my current story that deserve to be told.
And so many details that will probably never be told in such a public forum.

But, unbeknownst to me, the timing and the details of the Lord working in my life...well, those details and that timing were unfolding right before my very eyes.
Even being documented on this little blog of mine.
But, I didn't see it...I couldn't have seen it.
Though looking back now, I'm amazed at what the Lord was doing for me every step of the way.

And that is one of the messages in all of this for that's applicable to everyone:

God is involved in the details of our lives.

Not as a chess master moving pieces at His will.

(I finally understand that in a way I never did before.)

But rather as a brilliant architect, opening doors and building additions...

Taking what is there and helping it to be what it can be.  

Giving us options and letting us choose.

Taking our decisions, allowing for others' choices, and finding a way to make it all work.

He has been doing that for me.
He is doing it for you.

Look for evidence of that truth.

SO...for those of you who want to know more about the "to be continued"...
You can get context for it by reading a few old posts.

It started with a celebration of the year of the dragon.
I'm a believer. That's all I can say.

And then my birthday month wherein I was surrounded by a ridiculous amount of love that was going to be a needed reservoir for the months that were waiting for me.

And then March came. The first month since starting my blog where I didn't blog.
It was a time of soul searching and praying and temple going and, although I didn't see it at the time, preparation for making one of the hardest decisions of my life...ending a relationship with someone who had come to mean the world to me.

And that led to the "bleeding heart" of April.
And I was so distracted that month by my heartbreak that I completely last track of my eHarmony subscription. And got renewed for 3 more months (did I just say that out loud? was my mic on?). I was NOT happy about that.

When I realized it had happened, I decided to make the best of it. I told the Lord He had three more months with me there.
That was it.
Just three.
And that I would not initiate contact with anyone.
But that, if He had someone He wanted me to meet, well then, I would be open to it and He could work His divine orchestration abilities to get us matched.
I knew I wasn't ready to close my heart completely.
I still wanted what I felt like I was being prepared for.

But, I was still so very sad and not in any condition to meet anyone.
(Tammy said one day, "God could put your husband right in front of you and you wouldn't see it." And I knew she was right.)
My tears were simply clouding everything else in my view.

So, I made the decision that May 31 would be my last sad day.
I was looking ahead come June 1.

But, though I changed my view on that day, it wasn't completely immediate.
And there was one more thing that needed to happen...
"my brave day".
The day when everything changed.
Everything.

(To be continued...again.)