much pleased.

"I cannot make speeches, Emma...
If I loved you less,
I might be able to
talk about it more."
-Mr. Knightley,
Jane Austen's Emma

[sigh]

Is there a better character in all of fiction than Mr. Knightley?
Upon my word, I simply do not believe there is.

He is a man who is the dearest friend first,
not afraid to call the woman he loves on the carpet when she needs to be called,
he is a kind encourager and a true gentleman.

And he makes me swoon.

I had the good pleasure of experiencing him live tonight.
I was quite certain our eyes locked a couple of times.
Quite certain.

It was a delightful adaptation on stage.
More than amiable.

And though I was quite prepared to go alone when my date could not accompany me (I was all rehearsed with a whole little act of looking at my phone anxiously prior to the performance and when asked responding maturely with, "Oh, my dr husband has been in an emergency surgery all afternoon. I guess he didn't get out in time, what with saving lives and all..."), happily I had another Austen devotee join me. We were not disappointed.

Not in the least.

No, in fact we were much pleased.
Much pleased indeed.

(PS It's Leap Year Day. Did you know it's acceptable in Finland for a woman to propose on this day? And that if the boy refuses he has to pay a fine? That my friends? That is awesome. That girl wins either way! Brilliant. Read more here.)

The Flash Mob

So...some of you have heard about this. Some of you participated in this.
All of you will want to see this.

I don't even have words for what you are about to see.
I'm pretty sure it is one of the few times in my life I have been rendered speechless.
And seeing it again today?
Speechless.

I remember about half way through the experience having the thought go through my head, "This *must* be what it's like on your wedding day."
I hadn't ever felt so surrounded by goodness and happiness and love.

It was sweet and ridiculous and awesome and...
I'm still speechless.

Enjoy and then I'll share some thoughts:

Answers to questions you might have...
Who is the guy who greets you?
Well, that would be Levi Savage from 17 Miracles (remember my crush? Yeah. it's legit.)

What is it you say to him about marriage? WHAT?
Oh, that would be me saying, "Um I totally have a crush on you but I know you're married." Clearly when I'm caught off guard, I don't really think about what I am saying. But, in fairness to me, I thought maybe he hadn't actually gotten married and was there to marry me. (I would have said, "yes", by the way.)

You hold onto him a lot. Are you always that friendly with men you just meet?
Nope. Just with Jasen. (And um, why don't you ask him the same question? Hmmm? I notice he was holding on to me pretty good too.) In fairness, I kept saying, "I think I'm going to pass out." And it wasn't a come-on. I really felt overwhelmed and faint (and not because of Jasen...grin.)

Who is the crazy guy in spandex at the beginning?
That would be Bob...one of my favorite people on the planet. We work together and his cute wife, Julie, did the choreography for the mob.

Hilary Weeks is there. Do you know her?
Yep. She's what you bloggers would call one of my "besties".

Is that her song?
Yep.

I heard a rumor she wrote it for you. True?
True. And that made it all the sweeter to have everyone dancing and singing to it. You can read what inspired the song here.

Did you know everyone in the mob?
I didn't think I did but looking at the video? Just about. I even know the construction boys in the background. There are family members, work colleagues (did I spell that right?), TOFW presenters, blogworld friends, even a girl I met after speaking at a fireside who's cute mom was there and said, "All I had to tell her was 'Laurel Christensen' and 'flashmob' and she asked to get out of school." So many people who matter to me were there.

Do you really say "shut up" that often?
Yep. I really do. Much to the concern of many of my siblings who don't let their children say it.

Do you wish you had spit out the gum before the surprise?
Yep. Sure do.

Were you REALLY that surprised?
You have to know that it was my first day "out" after my little stay in the hospital (just a little bacteria in my little tummy. I'm okay. Thanks for your concern.) and so I was not feeling well. I had gotten pedicures and then gone to lunch with some girlfriends and I was done. I had asked them to take me home so I could rest. I kind of begged, actually. One of them needed to stop at Deseret Book. I said I would stay in the car. They told me I needed fresh air. I *might* have told Tammy to leave me alone or she was going to make me cry. And then they persuaded me to get out of the car. So, I knew *something* was up...but thought it was maybe just a surprise cake with work people...but I could NOT have imagined THIS.

So...who was behind this?
Turns out a lot of people helped pull it off but the girl behind all the coordination and orchestration and scheming was my dear friend, Chrislyn...who has worked with me at TOFW for the last 6+ years. She is a bit of a little sister, you might say. I still can't believe she pulled this off but that's what she does...she pulls off events...so OF COURSE she could do it (I trained her well...grin). Truly, it's one of the kindest sweetest most ridiculous things anyone has ever done for me and only Chrislyn would have been brave enough to actually do it (she's the cute girl you see in the black and pink right after Hilary starts singing. She's also the one who yells "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" right at the end.).

Is it true that you think turning 40 was the best thing that's ever happened to you. Is that really true?
Beyond true. Stay tuned...

TO ANY OF YOU WHO WERE THERE:
THANK. YOU. I really truly don't have the words for how I feel that so many people came from so many places and practiced for so many hours to give me 4 minutes I will never forget. It's remarkable, really. I am blessed. So. Blessed.

God moves things along...

"There are these moments when you look back and you can see God moving in your life.

And you realize that He had a plan and He's moving things along."

Some things I just know for sure. That statement there?
Definitely one of them.

What *might* have happened right before my birthday...

I *might* have awoken at 1am Monday morning the week of my birthday, thinking I was dying.
From a stomach ache.
I *might* have almost passed out on my bathroom floor.
I *might* have called my mommy who was 1300 miles away in Missouri.
She *might* have had to talk me through a panic attack.
And then convince me to call 911.

I *might* have had the paramedics show up and have to get me in a wheelchair because the gurney wouldn't fit around the corner to the bathroom.
One of the cute firemen (there were 4 of them...I could barely see them because I wasn't willing to look at them because I'm STILL mad I didn't have my cute pajamas on) *might* have said "We're losing her! We're losing her!" as I passed out again in the wheelchair.
I *might* have then thought, "wow. So this is how I die?"
And it *might* have freaked me out a little.

I *might* have then spent 2 days in the hospital.
Which *might* have forced me to unplug a little from my life.
And take time to think about things.
And blessings.
And my life.
And things.

And this might be one more reason my birthday week was really quite remarkable.

(and I *might* adore and love Brian Regan who I was lucky enough to be taken to go see for the first time when he was in SLC in January. and this *might* make me laugh so hard, I cry. Really. It's like he was there with me...except I actually DID call for an ambulance. I was so embarrassed.)

(More birthday stuff coming soon. Promise. It's been another crazy week...full of really good things...)

love longest

I would never suppose that true constancy is known only by women.
But the one claim I shall make for my own sex, is that we love longest,
When all hope is gone.
-Anne Elliot, Persuassion

First, if you have not seen the BBC version, you must add it to your list of things to do. I *think* I might love Captain Wentworth more than Mr. Darcy or Mr. Knightly (oh, of course I jest. No one compares to Mr. Knightly).

Second, I love that Valentine's Day has always been my third favorite holiday...right behind Thanksgiving (#1) and Christmas (#2)...even during years (& years) of no Valentines...even after the Vday break-up of 2004 (everyone needs a Vday break-up story, right?)

I'm a sentimental girl who believes in really great love stories.
And thinks Jane Austen has moments that are completely true to life.

Call me crazy.
But Happy Day 'o Love to you!

And whether you're the girl,
or the wife,
or the mom,
or the friend...
Go ahead...
love longest.

Xoxo

Overwhelmed

by so much goodness and love from last week.
I have SO much to share.

Let me start with this gem of a gift.
No words.
None.

I have amazing friends & family.
And my heart is overflowing.
I am, simply, overwhelmed.
(and also can't totally believe how much I've changed.)

xoxo

Happy Birthday, little laurel

I wonder if someone had told this little cutie what her life would be like in 2012 when she was turning 40...I wonder what she would have thought.

All she cared about was making people happy.
She wanted to feel safe and knowing people around her were happy, made her feel safe.
She smiled A LOT. And giggled. She was a giggler.
She was trusting but really shy, believe it or not.
So shy that when boys in kindergarten kissed her, she told her dad.

She prayed often.
She changed into her pajamas in the closet so not even God would see her naked.
She felt the spirit in primary.
She has very distinct memories of that.

She had a lot of friends.
But they were make believe ones.
And so she played by herself a lot...with her make believe friends, of course.

I am turning 40.
And nothing...seriously, nothing...about my life is the way I thought it would be.
But so much about it includes things I didn't even know I could have asked for.
And I look at this little girl and I don't even remember what she thought life would be like when she got "older".

But, I think if God had shown her what it was going to be,
Well, I think I know her well enough to say,
she'd still have that peaceful little smile on her cute little face.

Happy Birthday, little laurel.
Keep smiling.
Keep trusting.
Keep praying.
(And keep being shy...you'll outgrow it way too fast.)

There are a lot of really good things up ahead for you.
And, I suspect, lots more really good things up ahead for us...
now that we're 40.


(image courtesy of KMart Photo Services circa 1970s. Wardrobe & Hair: Mom)

PS Thanks so much for coming to my birthday party and helping me hit my goal. You girls are the best! xoxo

What God gave me for my birthday

I had a friend last year who was having a hard go of things. When I read back over some of the emails we exchanged, I find myself thinking, "wow. I said that? I should put that on a plaque and sell it to myself." It's like I said things then I needed now.

Like this little thought I shared:

I don't think the Lord settles everything in our lives...probably ever...but I do believe He can/will settle those things that we need Him to in order for us to progress...especially when we see no other way.

Okay, so it's not brilliant.
But, it spoke to me.
It speaks to me.

It's been a rough couple of weeks.
And, honestly, a rough 38 days.
The intentional prayer thing?
I highly recommend the experience. I really do.
But, be prepared because something about that process is likely to unleash the darts of the adversary in a way I don't know I've ever experienced in quite the same way before.

And by last week, my little heart was just about done.

So, I told the Lord all I wanted for my birthday?
Some peace.
"Please settle this in my heart" was all I could ask (i.e. borderline demand)
I knew He had to.
There was no other way.

And I won't go into details but I am seriously blown away by what God did for my heart.
Only He and I will ever know what a big deal it was.
Because only He really knew what needed to be fixed.

He orchestrated every little thing I needed to feel calm and peace and...settled.
And ready to turn 40.
And celebrate a whole lot of really really good things.
Really good things that make up a really blessed life.
Oh, how I wanted to feel that way when I turned 40.

And He did that for me. He did what I asked.
I'm amazed at how He settled things.
How He settled me.

God can/will settle those things we need Him to.
He will.
He does.
And we're allowed to ask Him to.

Do you need Him to settle something for you?
Ask Him.
Really.
Ask.

Let us therefore COME BOLDLY unto the throne of grace,
that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help
in time of need.
Hebrews 4:16

(PS Still looking for a few more people to come to my bday party. Come on! I ask for so little...well, God wouldn't agree with that, but...)

You're invited to my birthday party!

Well, kids.
This is it.

The birthday week.
And not just *any* birthday week.
It's a big one.
(I know. I can't believe it either.)

And I'm ready for it.

Not gonna lie...wasn't sure I would be.
But, I am.
I really am.

So, here we are on Sunday night.
4 days 'til my 40th birthday.

And I'm excited.

Plans are in place.
I have things in my life to celebrate.
And I have good deeds needing to be done.

That's where YOU come in.

I'm looking for FORTY PEOPLE to commit to doing ONE GOOD THING sometime in the next FOUR DAYS.
Something in addition to all the good things you're already doing.
Something you wouldn't have thought to do were it not for this little invitation.

You can:
-write a "thank you" note you've been putting off
-say "I'm sorry" even though you're waiting for someone else to say it first
-offer to watch someone's kids
-surprise your hubby with lunch at the office
-send a treat to your child's teacher
-take dinner to your neighbor...for no reason.
-drive the speed limit all day and constantly let people cut in front of you (oh, I'm just kidding. That's crazy talk.)
-post compliments on the walls of forty facebook friends
-go to the cemetery and leave flowers at a grave that has no flowers
-drive around with water bottles and give one to every guy you see with a "need help" sign
-pay for the person behind you in the drive-thru
-say "hi" & smile for an entire day to every person you walk past.

The possibilities are endless.

Don't you think it would be fun to make this the nicest week ever for a whole lot of people we don't all know?
Oh, I think it sounds loverly.

Yes, I realize I'm not inviting you to do something huge.
And no...no lives will be spared.
This isn't going to bring about world peace.

But, I think a few more people will be a little happier than they might have been otherwise and that just feels like the perfect way to kick off the celebration of my 40th birthday.

So...
come on...
humor me.

To join the party, the only present required is to leave a comment below and tell me how you're going to spread a little more good in the world in the next four days (or just tell me you'll be one of the 40 people and you can keep your "little more good" to yourself.)

Thanks for coming to my party.
Make sure to enjoy some Haagen Dazs Peanut Butter & Chocolate ice cream in my honor (grin).

xoxo

(image found here)