If I was a movie critic, I'd give it 5 stars

I can't say enough about The Blind Side.
Everything about it just made me happy (including the boy I saw it with).
It's the PERFECT holiday movie.
Great "feel good" flick.
Excellent date night because it's "football" meets "chick flick".

Sandra Bullock was fantastic.
Tim McGraw? Hello.
And the kid that plays Michael Oher? Brilliant.

Two enthusiastic thumbs up and if I had more thumbs, I'd stick them up too.
Please go see it. We need to support anything good like this that comes out of Hollywood.

(Btw, I had one of my best Thanksgiving weekends ever.
Ever.
More. to. come.)

Day. Of. Thanks.

Don't you wonder what COULD happen if the world truly united in prayer on this day of Thanksgiving?

Let's not wonder.
Let's just do it.

Happy Thanksgiving.
Say a prayer.

(and Happy Birthday, Grandpa. I miss you.)

A happy little girl

At a very young age, I remember knowing God was there.
I knew He loved me.
I knew He was watching me.
(In fact, I remember getting dressed in the closet so he wouldn't see me naked. That's how close we were.)

I was one happy little girl.

And though life at times made me question every bit of that.
And though I've sometimes acted like I forgot those truths.

I knew it then.
I know it now.
And we're still that close.

I know He's there.
I know He loves me.
I know He's watching me.

And I'm one happy little girl.

The line between good & evil

I saw it Sunday night when, right before the 10 o'clock news, I turned on the TV to watch the last few minutes of the American Music Awards.

Adam Lambert (most recent American Idol runner-up) was "performing".
I use that word loosely.

I caught maybe 3 minutes of the most deviant song I think I've ever heard.
What I witnessed was an affront to life...to anything sacred...
I had the feeling in my heart I was seeing godlessness.
Celebrated.

Adam says he owes no one an apology.
He says it was artistic expression.
Those who defend him have said, "the culture over here is much too prudish and wishy washy. This was one of the most positive things that could have been done on national television."

I have no words for that.

But, I have thought about it for two days and I do feel compelled to share these words:
(The warning)
This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;...

(The promise)
But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and has been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them;
And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
That the man of God may be perfect.

At the risk of sounding dramatic, there is a war and it is waging.
The world is trying to blur the line between good and evil.

But it has never been more clear.
Never.

(kudos to Good Morning America for cancelling Adam's appearance tomorrow morning.)

I stink at give-aways. How fun!

THANKS for participating in the Thanksgive-away.

And even though you didn't all follow the rules (rule breakers),
I loved reading what YOU are thankful for.

I thought maybe I should list a few.
This is what I wrote on Sunday when I asked myself that question.

I AM THANKFUL FOR...
-my job and the fact that I know it's a gift
-my independence AND my dependence (I'm confusing like that)
-my family and that they claim me
-prayer. enough said.
-GNO and my other dearest friends on the planet.
-the boy in my life right now
-music
-laughter. and that I do it hard and well. I don't even mind my "betty rubble" laugh
-Mac Wilberg (and that might be odd but I will always be grateful to him for his moving arrangement of "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing". I wonder if he's grateful for ME?)

And now...
What I've learned from doing this give-away is that I STINK at give-aways.
One person?
Just one winner?
How is that fair?

SO...I picked several.
I'm a sucker like that.

I did a random sort based on what you wanted (so if you were the only one to pick that thing, well you were lucky) and then picked a number (kind of like in M*A*S*H...did you ever play that game? you now where you go back and forth until you get to the number? Trust me...it worked.) and the WINNERS ARE:

JULIE gets Christmas Jars Reunion

FREEFAM WORLD gets Saying It Like It Is (signed & everything!)

HEIDI gets Christmas Once Again

JILL & TAMI get lunch (hee.hee. but seriously. let's do it!)

LAURA & TURLEYBENSON get LYFSGUD just cuz I think it's cute you wanted it and I have a few extra copies

AMANDER gets Ring Christmas Bells cd

And the rest of you who didn't pick anything specific...well...pick something next time (grin).
Seriously, thanks for playing. I kind of feel like Santa Claus tonight.

(Please email me with your mailing address to claim your winnings. HOW FUN!)

'Tis the season to...

And I'm determined to do just that.

Last Monday when my mom and sister were here, we watched one of my all-time favorite movies:(I cry every time George says, "Atta boy, Clarence.")

And then we decorated my treeWhat is it about sitting near a lit-up Christmas tree?
It's like all the world is a Jane Austen novel. And you can't help but feel like good things are about to happen.Maybe because they are.It's going to be a great Christmas.

I believe it.

After all...'tis the season!

God, Dads, and their little girls

A couple of days ago, the following conversation actually took place on Yahoo Messenger:

zadalouise: Okay, Dad
if you can see this
mover your cursor to the box at the bottom
and type, "I love you, my girl!"
and then either move your cursor to the "send" box right there on the right and "click"
OR
just hit return
then I will say,
"ah...thanks, dad! I love you too!"
then you will say, "Just thinking about you this morning and hope you have a great day"
and I will say, "you too!"
and then you will close out of chat right before you take care of ALL the things you have to do today
and I will have a smile on my little heart all day.
Brent Christensen: i love you my girl
zadalouise: ah...thanks, dad! I love you too!

Now, some of you might think whoever that "zadalouise" girl is needy with a capital "N".
And, okay, maybe she is a little.

But that very night I was speaking to a chapel full of young women and their parents. And right before I stood to speak, a couple of fathers were asked to say something to honor the recognition of their daughters.
And it. was. sweet.

As I looked around, I noticed that very few of the girls in the chapel were sitting next to their dads. Some didn't have Dads there. But, most did.

And so, when I stood up, something overcame me and I said this:

"If you're here with your Dad but you're not sitting next to him, will you move right now so you are?"
There were a few awkward glances and some giggles.
I saw some Dads shift their bodies uncomfortably.
Not too sure about this.
I saw a girl roll her eyes.
(Who knows what happened in that home before leaving to come to this meeting?)
I watched one dad get up from the back bench (he had come in late) and walk all the way up to the front to join his daughter in the front row.

Within seconds, all the dads were sitting by their daughters.

And then I said, "You girls who get to be here with your dads are blessed tonight. There are girls here who WISH they could be. Enjoy it."

"But you dads? I hope you know how important you are to your daughters. It is my belief that much of how they feel about God, their Father in Heaven and much of how they think He feels about them, is because of YOU. Don't ever underestimate how much you matter to us. How much you effect us. And how much we need you."

And then the rest of the time I spent with them, I gave the message I would normally give...but it did something to me to see these dads with their arms around their daughters. Experiencing it together. And I could tell it was doing something for those girls. And then...I watched it do something for those dads.

One even came up afterwards. He said, "I needed to be sitting by my daughter tonight. Thank you." I think they just needed an excuse to connect.

God is a Father.
In fact, He is mine.

And though I can see ways throughout my life He says, "I love you."
And though I can feel that love in so many ways.
Sometimes a girl just needs her Dad to represent that love.
To put his arm around.
To help her feel safe.
To tell her she's smart.
Or cute.
Or good.

And I don't even mind telling my dad that I need that when I need it.
Sometimes I tell God that too.
I'm needy like that.

"I love you, kiddo."

That's what Jimmy B said to me at the end of our conversation tonight. We've played phone tag for a couple of weeks but he finally got me tonight.

And it was great to reconnect.

We talked for more than an hour.
He has his 7th grade yearbook where I wrote (with a triangle for an exclamation point, he was quick to point out):
"To a real sweet and cute guy: You're a great friend! And just remember if there are no girls in your new school who like you [he was moving after that year. i was devastated], there are lots here who do. Love ya! Laurel"
Apparently we had an inside joke about Tinkerbell too because I put that in the P.S.
Yep, I was smoooooth back then.

We talked about what we've both done in the last 25 years.
He said he was proud of me. That what I'm doing is special. That I'm making an impression on a lot of young lives. That my story makes him feel good. He told me to be "damn proud" (direct quote) of what I'm doing with my life.

And then he said: "I don't remember doing it but I believe I did because I know who I am and how I feel about people." (I loved that.)

I'm going to be in his city next Spring for one of our events and he wants to get together. "We need to go on a date," said Jimmy B.

Seriously.

When I think about that 13 year old girl.
How she felt.
What she thought...about herself.
The impact 13 yr old Jimmy had on her.
Tonight was pretty sweet.

He wrapped up the call by saying something like, "I know we're just not reconnecting and getting things going but I want you to know you can count on me. If you ever need anything, Jimmy B is there for you. I mean it."

His language was a little colorful.
He might have been drinking earlier tonight.
Our lives are in completely different places.
But none of that matters.

Because, when push comes to shove, life is made up of moments and decisions and interaction and impacts.
And that's what really matters.

We are here to bless each others' lives and help each other along.
Jimmy B blessed mine.
I'd love to try and bless his.

"I love you, kiddo."
"I love YOU, Jimmy B."

Happy Thanksgive-away!

I'm in the holiday mood today.
I am.

It's early.
But, I put up my Christmas tree yesterday.
I got Christmas flowers from a boy.
I have plans for Thanksgiving that I'm excited about.

And so....

We're having a Thanksgive-away.

And it's easy.

First, go DeseretBook.com
Find anything you want that has a current price UNDER $25.

Then, comment below with just one thing you are THANKFUL for (and saying you are thankful for ME won't help you win so don't even try it. Saying you are thankful for the boy who sent me flowers however MIGHT...grin.).

Then tell me what gift you chose.

Really.
It's THAT easy.

One lucky winner will be selected on Monday, November 23rd.

So...what ARE you thankful for?

Oh, and if you are wondering what I would recommend, I'd suggest any of the following:
The new Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas (dvd or cd)
The newest book from Chris Stewart
Hilary Weeks' amazing new Christmas cd (sounds as good as it looks!)
One of the sweetest Christmas stories of all time (well, except for the original of course.)
One of my very favorite quote books (and it will be signed by the author and personalized if you so choose.)

Happy heart

That's kind of the only way to really describe how I feel tonight.

It's been an incredible (though tiring) couple of days.
I've felt loved.
I've been blessed.
I've seen the Lord's hand.
I've trusted my heart.

I have a great job. I really do.
And this past weekend was the culmination of an incredible TOFW tour.

And though I don't see things coming to a halt, they will slow down for a couple of months.

Just a little bit.
Just enough to enjoy a little more of this:

I have a boy who is still sending flowers.(he knew I was putting up my Christmas tree today and wanted to help get the holiday started...how cute is that?!?)

And he also sent these:(You have to love a boy who encourages chocolate...especially the fancy kind, right?)

Yep.
A boy.
A real live honest to goodness good-to-the-core, totally-gets-me, going-at-the-perfect-pace boy.
And he makes my heart happy.
And I'm grateful for the next couple of months.

And I think I'm almost ready to talk more about him.

Almost.

Um, I'm his girl...just so you know

So...do we remember Jimmy B? (of course we do).
Let's just remember I was 13 when I had my crush on him.
And, so 13 year old Laurel has something to share...

So, like earlier today Jimmy B totally sent me a message on like facebook.

And like he totally said he'd love to touch base with me and like totally gave me his digits (home AND cellular).

I might have noticed a few months ago that he wasn't like "in a relationship" anymore. I might have noticed that. So, like he's like "single" now. And I keep thinking I should change my status TO "in a relationship" but I'm like totally not quite the kind of girl to do that so like right now, it says I'm single too. Well, because I am. Like.

Well, like I totally thought that was so cool and like totally called two of my bfs Erin and Tam to tell them and everything. Cuz it's like crazy that he would want me to call him, right?

Well, then, like tonight, he totally wrote on my wall (that's facebook jargon for those of you not familiar) and said (and I totally quote):
"Your my girl! I'm dying to hear the story!...Let's see! At least come to Indy and we can hook up! Jimmy B is looking to reunite!!!!"

And like he totally used four exclamation points and everything. I didn't make that up. And like he really was the coolest guy at South Oldham Middle School. And smart too. And, well, I don't totally know what "hook up" means but I've heard it's good.

So, yeah.

I'm like Jimmy B's "girl".
Totally.

(I seriously giggled the whole drive to St. George tonight and thought it was SUCH a victory for 13 yr old Laurel. Tragic when I have to tell him I'm dating someone because...well...like...it's Jimmy B! I still heart him. I really really do. Maybe I should change my facebook "relationship status" because surely this means we're "going out". This is at least the equivalent of being asked to prom, right? ...can I get an "amen" Tammy?)

In place of my fears

A couple of years ago, Tammy gave me this little 3x5 card:I was trying to open my heart to a new relationship and it was scary to me. And I probably spent way too much time worrying about the outcome.

As it turned out, "it" turned out just like I worried it would.
Just like I feared it would.

Self-fulfilling prophecy?
Or just the way it was meant to be?

I know now it was the way it was "meant to be".

But, I've been thinking about faith a lot lately.
More specifically, it's role in the outcome of my life.
And not just random "faith in Laurel" but real deeply-rooted faith...in the Lord.
I thought about it yesterday as I spent some time in the temple.
And I was thinking about it this morning as I knelt in morning prayer.

But something happened when I started to pray this morning.
My spirit took over.
Does that ever happen to you?
You know, when you start praying in a way you didn't mean to...or haven't before. It's like my little spirit said, "could we please get to the heart of the real issue here?"

And the next thing I knew I was presenting my "I fear" list to the Lord.
I didn't even know I had one.

But, once I started, it just kept coming.
I acknowledged out loud...to HIM...all the things I fear.
And not just in my current situation, but in life in general.
It was an awakening for me.
No wonder I struggle with faith at times.
And I realized that as I gave those fears (some of them more deeply-rooted than my faith) a voice.
I put them out there.

It was cleansing.
It was liberating.

And then, it was faith-building.

I felt, in a way I haven't before, a desperate need for faith.
Knowing that ONLY FAITH can overcome those fears.
And knowing that the kind of faith I need can only come through the help of Heaven,
I was more aware of my desperate need for Him.

A desperate need for HIM...
...in place of my fears.

Liberating.

"I sought the Lord,
and he heard me,
and delivered me
from all my fears."
Psalm 34:4