this.is.anfield: 05 February 2006

Announcement!!

I'm flyin out for a couple of days, will be back on Saturday.

Meanwhile, please feel free to leave your comments and I'll reply once I'm back.

You can also go through the archives where there's tonnes of interesting stuff. The links are on the menu bar on the left.

Have a great weekend.

Dan

Babe of the Day - Melissa Puente

Melissa Puente Photos [NWS]

WARNING

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship" In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.

[via]

NWS Gallery

NWS Photo Gallery

Link of the Day

Sexy Collections, sent in by Scientist Dan

Women Jokes

Why do women wear perfum and make up?
They're ugly and they smell.

Why do Women have Periods?
They Deserve em.

What do you call the useless flesh around the vagina?
The woman.

What do you say to a woman with a black eye?
Nothing. She has already been told once.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Pregnant.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.

Worryingly Addictive Tennis Ball Keepy Uppy Game

PLAY

Sharon Stone Nude Scenes from Basic Instinct 2

Check it out at Egotastic

Only in India

KOLKATA, India (AFP) - Police in eastern India are hunting a groom who quit his marriage ceremony midway when his bride's parents said they could not meet his dowry demand of a motorcycle, an official said.

Rajiv Shaw, 31, walked out of the ceremony at Chitpur on the outskirts of the West Bengal state capital of Calcutta Saturday after springing the surprise demand, police official Sheikh Abdul Rajjack said.

The bride's mother, Urmila Devi, said her daughter's marriage with Shaw, an autorickshaw driver, was fixed last November.

She had handed over 65,000 rupees (1,480 dollars) in cash besides furniture, kitchen utensils and gold ornaments as a dowry.

"Rajiv demanded a motorcycle on the day of marriage," Devi said.

"My husband is an employee in a local electric shop. We have sold out everything to get our daughter married. It's beyond our reach to give him a motorcycle," she told AFP.

Police were on the lookout for Shaw after arresting his father and the matchmaker who arranged the wedding on charges of seeking dowry, Rajjack said.

Although the demanding and giving of a dowry was officially banned in 1961, the practice continues.

Every year, about 6,000 women are killed in India -- often doused with kerosene and set on fire in staged kitchen "accidents" -- or harassed into suicide by husbands and in-laws angered by unmet dowry demands.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE:

Robben's a cunt

Don't need to say anymore I think you've all probably seen how he went down like a russian prostitute after Jose 'Mr T' Reina caressed his cheek. I pity the fool.

As far as the game's concerned, we badly need a quality striker to finish the job. Crouch simply isn't good enough against the stronger sides.

In the tunnel just before the start of the game, Stevie G fell for the age old hand to nose shakehand trick from the little Chelski Mascot

VIDEO: Gerrard owned by Chelski Mascot (1.8 MB)

Download the video, its much funnier.

Babe of the Day: Thalia

Thalia: Photogallery

Chelsea v Liverpool

Even though both teams cancel each other out and Liverpool haven't exactly been on fire in the past couple of outings, I'm still a bit optimistic about this one. Playing against quality opposition does seem to bring out the best from our lads and I'm hoping this will be one of those days.

My prediction? 1-2 to Liverpool with Crouchinho and God scoring for Liverpool and Lampard scoring with a deflection of the referee's arse.

Footballers and their piss

When Fat Frank Lampard pisses, it takes a deflection and goes in

Henry tries to get Pires to do it for him, they both fuck it up and end up pissing on eachother's shoes. But Henry doesn't just get his own piss in more than anyone else, he also helps others with theirs a lot for a striker

Ruud actually lowers his cock inside the bowl first - no chance of missing then

Christiano Ronaldo spins his cock around in a windmill motion before spraying his urine all over the bathroom scales

Scholes' is a curious shade of orange.

Ronaldinho has got zig-zag piss

And maradona has his go up on his knee, his left shoulder, head, right shoulder, right knee and dinks it in the bowl

Thomas Hitzlsperger stands in his front garden whilst he has a piss, in the toilet upstairs

Casillas just loves golden showers!

David Beckham does a cool curly one, but it's the only type he can do.

Essien breaks his toilet everytime he goes.

Shevchenko goes for pisses so frequently, especially in Europe.

Mido's piss is explosive when it hits the water.

Diego Forlan can only have a piss when he's in warmer weather.

Shearer gets a bit of pee on his hand then after he's finished runs over to the sink with his hand in the air to wash it.

Wenger misses every time 'cos he claims he didn't see the toilet.

Rooney only likes pissing in English toilets.

This kid Kerlon pisses onto his head in the living room, runs upstairs with it on his head and then drops it in. [Video]

N'gotty goes in the ladies toilets.

Peter Crouch can hold it in for weeks and then pisses 10 pints in one visit to the loo.

Frank Sinclair always pisses in the wrong toilet

Diouf pisses out of his mouth

Matt le tissier only used to go for a piss when he felt like it...

Keano screams at his penis to get it's act together.

Joe Cole can't do it without sweatbands on. Then, when he's done, he falls over

John O Shea pisses bent over.

Kanu sometimes takes a piss with his cock wrapped around the back of his leg

Woodgate pisses into his own face

Dietmar Hamann takes an acoustic piss. Patrick Vieira is standing at the next urinal and falls over.

Alex ferguson pissed right in Beckham's face.

Henry keeps pissing on the seat of late.

Darren Fletcher pisses over his own feet, up the wall, all down his legs and on anybody nearby. Sometimes he wishes Fergie would stop making him go and piss.

Zidane does a 360 degree piss around the toilet before cooly slotting it home.

ronaldo steps over his piss, then over it again and again and again...

Eric Cantona does a sublime piss and then pirouttes around to face everyone as if to say "Did you see that? I did that. That was a God like piss."

Bramble And Boumsong piss together on the seat and Shay Given deflects it into the bowl with his mouth

Does Gerrard tell his toilet he's leaving before he's finished his piss and then change his mind at the last second before the resulting accident involving trousers, shoes, piss and swear-words?

Emile Heskey falls over before even reaching the urinal.

Darren Huckerby charges blindly towards the toilet door with his head down not noticing that it's closed.

Lua Lua likes to celebrate in his usual way after finishing his piss but tries to forget the day when he celebrated prematurely...

Andy Johnson stands 12-yards away on a spot on the floor and only pisses from there.

Michael Owen has to piss upwards in order to hit the bowl.

Cygan gifts lots of piss to anyone who comes asking

Milan Baros sprints out the living room shimmys past the study bolts up the stairs pirrouets round the dog hops over a chair rolls into the bathroom then after all that hardwork misses the toilet and pisses out the window.

Cisse just races off towards the urinal, and when he's in range, he shoots. Occassionally it goes it, but more often then not it hits everything else and misses.

When Carragher takes a piss no-one can understand the sound

Peter Crouch has good piss for a big man.

Drogba is piss

Sol Campbell gets stage fright and can't go. And then runs away.

Airplanes and Women: The Difference

Airplanes can kill you quickly; a woman takes her time.
Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
Airplanes don't get mad if you 'touch and go.'
Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection.
Airplanes operate inverted.
Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.
Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.
Airplanes can be flown any time of the month.
Airplanes don't come with in-laws.
Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you have flown before.
Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.
Airplanes don't complain if you hose them down.
Airplanes don't mind if you like to look at other airplanes.
Airplanes can get high without throwing up.
Airplanes expect to be tied down.
Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.
Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.
However, when airplanes go quiet, just like a woman, it's a bad thing.

From The Convict

Its about Cats. In Sinks

What is Cat in Sinks? It's obvious. It's about cats. And kittens. Who like sinks. And basins

[via]

American Idol's Super Tan Girl

Anyone seen the the return of American Idol with auditions from Chicago? Stand-out girl was Crystal Parizanski who made Paris Hilton seem like a genius. Possible? Oh yes. And this goes beyond using Sharpie markers as eyeliner. "I think I'm kinda like Christina Aguilera because like I, I have attitude like I'm gonna do it like no one matter what no one's gonna stop me," said Parizanski. This is how her audition kicked off

The Neviller's Mobile Number

Kids! They can be a bunch of pranksters can't they, as Manchester United footballer Gary Neville found out recently when his mobile phone number (07791432546 - Probably has been changed now) was circulated around the pupils of a school in Bristol.

It seems the students made free with this knowledge and gave Neville something of a hard time.

One student, called John and sounding posher than a silver service supper at the Ritz, rang Neville and had the presence of mind to record the conversation with the foul-mouthed England 'star' (which has never sounded a fitting description for a man who is best known for the fact his dad's name is Neville Neville).

He then posted the recording on the internet. (You can listen to it here but be warned the language would make a docker blush.)

"Tell me who the fuck's got my number and I'll let you off," said the player, offering John the chance for some plea bargaining.

"You better find out or I'll give your number to the police," he added, to which John replied: "I'm being told now... Tony Adams' son."

"Who the fuck is Tony Adams?" demanded Neville, only to be told: "He used to play for Arsenal."

To which Neville, the wit, replied: "Shut up you fucking dick."

Now the Round-Up doesn't know whether Tony Adams really does have a son or whether he really attends a school in Bristol but then nor does Neville, it would appear.

Perhaps the England defender was embarrassed to have forgotten the name of a player he lined up alongside on dozens of occasions while inexplicably representing his country. Dopey cunt.

Lingerie Bowl III

With the SuperBowl XL coming up, (the other kind of football - you know where they use their HANDS!!!)

Here's a bunch of pics regarding the Lingerie Bowl III, which is becoming quite the fixture. Jenny McCarthy and Ryan Starr are scheduled to play I think.

Official Site (a pretty bitchin flash site with vids etc.)

Perhaps the FA should take a look at this - I wouldn't mind seeing a them do this for half time in the FA Cup Final. Lets get the "fans" from the competing teams play each other. It would be good to see Jolie give a bone crunching tackle to chav$ki's Reid!!!

Big up my man Peter Slater for this post!