Babe of the Day - Brooke Burke

The Brooke Burke PhotoGallery

Ways to tell someone their fly is open

10. The cucumber has left the salad.

9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.

8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.

7. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...

6. Elvis is leaving the building.

5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.

4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.

3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.

2. Men may be From Mars.....but I can see something that rhymes with Venus.

1. I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see you're nuts!

Career Column - Dirty Dan

A Woman's Guide To Getting Into the Porn Industry

Women are the focus, stars of and lifeblood of the jizz bizz. If you want to become an adult performer and were born with a womb there will always be a space for you.

Scud movies, sticky floor clubs and biology websites all celebrate sexual attraction. Your success in porn is closely tied to how you look, how smart you are, talent and the friends you make – in that order.

The adult industry has a healthier attitude towards the gamut of women’s appearance and body types than TV, fashion or movies. Many adult performers are successful despite not standing a chance as a model or actress if judged on looks alone. This is because women in the adult industry enjoy their success thanks to the heterosexual men while actresses and models not the whims of and gay men and self-loathing women. Continue Reading

Shortest Books written by Footballers

"How to be faithful to Your Wife" - By David Beckham
"What I know about everything" - Wayne Rooney
"How to control your anger." - Lee Bowyer
"How to run a successful football club" - David Sheepshanks
"How to play free-flowing football, and not hoofball" - Joe Royle
"How to be good to your liver"- George Best
"David Unsworth" - The Villa Years
"How to hit a Donkey's arse with a Banjo" - Mateja Kezman
"How to win the League on the last day of the season" - by Martin O'Neill
"The all embracing world of a multi racial world" - Ron Atkinson
"Tthe book of wonderful witty one-liners" - Kieron Dyer
"How to take a joke" - Jason Lee
"The Secret to a Happy Marriage" - Paul Gascoine
"Managing My Wife" - George Best
"Lose with Dignity" - Jose Mourhino
"Evertons Map of Euro Success 05/06" - David Moyes
"How to make friends and influence people" - G Souness
"My popularity at Arsenal" - Gus Cesar
"Adapting to Change" - Jacques Santini
"My goals for Arsenal - now with dvd with bonus material" John Jensen
"Brotherly Love" - John Fashanu
"Davor's Guide to Shooting" - Davor Suker
"How to Pull Women" - Robin Van Persie
"European Nights: A Tactical Masterclass" with Arsene Wenger.
"How to Retain the League Title" - Arsene Wenger
"Penalties under pressure" - Gareth Southgate
"A guide to Newcastle" - Silvio Maric
"How to eat an apple through a tennis racket" - Ronaldo
"The importance of sportmanship" - Roy Keane
"My Tactical Know-how" - Kevin Keegan.
"My Friends" - Lee Bowyer
"The Gropes of Wrath" - Robin Van Persie
"My Life" - Marc Vivien Foe (sorry, sorry and sorry)
And the BEST of ALL
"Evertons Champions League History"

Stupid Questions People Ask

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations and some equally stupid answers:-

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Well,it's so hot , there were no cool cabs so I thought i'd watch some advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.

2. In the bus:
A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia..... why don't you try again or should i try this time.

3. At a funeral:
One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why?Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant:
When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is the "blah blah blah" dish good
Answer:-No, its teribble and made of adulterated cement.We occasionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together.When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Oh my god, you've become so big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call
Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping.
Answer:-No. I was playing cricket for India at Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik was betting with me that Pakistan would win. What do you think?

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair
Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?

Answer:-And while I'm telling you , you tell me if I bite.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks
Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke
Answer:-No, it's a miracle ...........it was a chalk and now it's in flames!!!

Excess All Areas

A very informative site for those looking to try out drugs for the first time. Tells you exactly how you'll feel, what will happen if you take more etc. There's also a video of a guy you can try your drugs on. Sort of like testing on animals...

Visit ONE LIFE

Babe of the Day - Angelina Jolie

Perfection, personified.

Related Links:
The Angelina Jolie Photo Gallery
Mr. and Mrs. Smith (Official Site)
Mr and Mrs. Smith- IMDB
Apple - Trailers - Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Mr. and Mrs. Smith - Rotten Tomatoes (Reviews)

BREAKING NEWS

BENITEZ RESIGNS!

Pc Rachelle's saucy strip for lads' mag

A WOMAN police officer who stripped off for a a men's magazine is being investigated by her bosses.

The photos of Pc Rachelle Pantoja, who serves with Greater Manchester Police, appear in this week's edition of Zoo Magazine - under the headline Real Copper Strips. Full Story

PC Rachelle 1
PC Rachelle 2

Young Reds Fan Fighting to Clear His Name

The family and friends of a young Liverpool fan jailed in Bulgaria after travelling to Istanbul for the Champions League Final are appealing for witnesses to come forward in a bid to clear his name.

Michael Shields, an 18-year old student from Wavertree, has been held in a Bulgarian jail since May 30. He is being accused of a crime he insists he did not commit.

Like many Liverpool fans, Michael and six of his friends travelled to the Champions League Final in Turkey via Bulgaria.

At approximately 5.30am on the morning on Monday 30 May an incident allegedly took place in the Golden Sands resort of Varna in which a local man sustained a serious injury to his head.

Michael's friends vehemently claim that at this time he was asleep in the same hotel room as them.

His father, Michael Shields senior, who has been over in Bulgaria since hearing this news, says: "I'm devastated. I've visited Michael and when he saw me he started crying. I felt the same but I've got to stay strong and I told him to keep his chin up.

More on the story from .TV

Dear Rafa...

Rafa Benitez may not be revealing the contents of Sir Alex's 'congratulatory' letter but fortunately F365 has been able to obtain a copy...

Related Stories: Rafa: 'Sir Fergie Sent Me A Very Strange Message'

F365 - Non-football rumor of the day

'An executive tried to liven up a dull day at the office by stripping naked to interview a 25-year-old woman, a court heard yesterday. Saeed Akbar, 35, said at first that it was part of his "tough interviewing technique" but later admitted that he was bored and wanted a "cheap thrill". He asked the woman, who was applying for a translator's job, if she minded if they took their clothes off. When she refused, he left the room for a few minutes and returned naked, carrying only a clipboard. He got dressed again when she objected to his behaviour and tried to resume the interview' - The Daily Telegraph. It doesn’t say whether the fussy bint got the job or not.

Babe of The Day - Keira Augustina

Keyra Agustina, a 19 year-old student from Argentina, became an interweb celebrity some months ago when a shitload of unidentified pictures of her fabulous booty (check them out) appeared all over the place. First known as The Mystery Booty, the owner of the most spankable ass of all time revealed her real identity in an interview with a Spanish website after weeks of speculation.

The editors of Maxim must have been following this case since Keyra is featured in this month's Argentinian Issue. And we can't thank them enough as we finally get to see better quality pics of this babe.

On to the most asstastic pictures ever (obviously nsfw):

Keira Augustina 1

Keira Augustina 2

Keira Augustina 3

Keira Augustina 4

Keira Augustina 5

Keira Augustina 6

Keira Augustina 7

Thanks to Yeeeah

REDS CANCEL JAPAN TOUR

Liverpool have been forced to call off their pre-season tour of Japan due to their participation in the qualifying rounds of the Champions League. More...

RAFA: CISSE AND NANDO WILL FIRE NEXT SEASON

British Sunday Express Gongs for Dubious Distinctions

To John Bloor, who mistook a tube of superglue for his hemorrhoid cream and glued his buttocks together.

To Henry Smith, arrested moments after returning home with a stolen stereo. His error was having tattooed on his forehead in large capital letters the words "Henry Smith." His lawyer told the court: "My client is not a very bright young man."

To Michael Robinson, who rang police to deliver a bomb threat, but became so agitated about the mounting cost of the call that he began screaming "Call me back!" and left his phone number.

To Paul Monkton, who used as his getaway vehicle a van with his name and phone number painted in foot-high letters on the side.

To Julia Carson, who as her tearful family gathered 'round her coffin in a New York funeral parlor, sat bolt upright and asked what the hell was going on. Celebrations were short-lived, due to the fact that Mrs. Carson's daughter, Julie, immediately dropped dead from shock.

To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock -- and was killed instantly when it fell on him.

To the passengers on a jam-packed train from Margate to Victoria, who averted their eyes while John Henderson and Zoe D'Arcy engaged in oral sex and then moved on to intercourse ... but complained when the pair lit up post-coital cigarettes in a nonsmoking compartment.

Worth a thousand words

Who ate all the fucking pies?


Mr. Manchester Beauty Challenge (For Men)


Bush is so sure Saddam had WMDS


Thank God for that!


Guest appearances on Springer


Blow!

Joke of the Day

Dave works hard at the office and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym.
His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, starts to rub herself all over him and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
Dave tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every cuss word in the book.
The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Dave, you picked up a real bitch this time".

Dudek's the Man in Milan

LIVERPOOL goalie Jerzy Dudek’s penalty shootout dance has become a club craze — in ITALY.

Dudek used his hilarious knee-wobbling to put off AC Milan players in the European Cup Final. It was tauntingly picked up by fans of AC’s rivals Inter Milan — and quickly spread to nightclubs.

Sexy TV host Adriana Volpe demonstrated it and culture mag Gente said it would be “the dance of the summer”.

The Sun highlighted Dudek’s antics after Liverpool fought back from 3-0 down to win on penalties.

Also checkout:

The Dudek Shuffle is Catching on!

This Summer's No1 Hit

www.jerzydudek.com

Here we go again...

A PSYCHO cut off his own penis then murdered his wife because she wouldn’t stop pestering him for sex.

Wanna Blog on Here?

Okay, I need a hand with this blog as I'll be travelling a bit in the coming few months. Ideally someone who's thinking of starting to blog, rather than someone who already has one.

Requirements:
New to blogging
Good sense of humor
Liverpool Supporter
Good taste in music and women

All you have to do is post about whatever you want atleast 3 times a week.

Allow 24 hours for reply, I didn't realise I was gonna get that many responses! Damnit I'm gonna have to 'choose' now!

email me on dan.thisisanfield@gmail.com

So Who's Next??

Strange day for football it was, yesterday. Steve Finnan got arrested for manslaughter after he ran over an OAP walking on the side of the road.

Arsenal striker Robin van Persie was arrested on Monday in his native Holland on suspicion of rape.

Former Arsenal striker Davor Suker has been questioned by police in Croatia following the murder of football agent Dino Pokrovac.

Jermaine Pennant got decked in the face after he called some girl's boyfriend 'a muppet'.

My question to all of you: Who do you think will be the next footballer to get arrested and what for?

Babe of the Day - Yamila Diaz

For more photos and wallpapers, visit Just Yamila

Dilbert's Wisdom

Oneliners from the world's favourite comic-strip



I say no to drugs they just don't listen

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane..

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.

Born free taxed to death.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

The hardest part of skating is the ice.

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.

I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.

If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

Someday is not a day of the week.

The Official Dilbert Website by Scott Adams
Free Subscription - Dilbert strips directly to your inbox every day

Camarazzi

Imagine you're out somewhere and you spot some chick with a killer arse or a massive rack and you also happen to have a camera phone in your pocket...

What do you do?

Would you take a photo of that arse even if it sounds so wrong?

Now here's someone who's gone a step ahead. A website where you can subit photos you've taken on your phone and get the rest of the world to rate them, or rate pictures that others have posted. Click pictures, then select boobies / arse / face / etc

visit Camarazzi.com (Some HOT chicks in there I tell ya)

IIFA Awards

Don't really know who won what. Don't really care to be honest. However, there will be loads of you googling for photos of the event held in Holland and being the attention seeking slut I am, here it is: IIFA Photos

Li'l Mickey in Las Vegas

Michael Owen reportedly spent ALL his time on the slot machines while in Vegas last weekend. The former Liverpool man looked as if he was missing his missus and did NOT even touch alcohol. Here are a couple more pics. ONE / TWO

Perfect!

Work of a Genius, this.

Christiano Ronaldo

FAO All Manchester United Buccaneers Fans

ANFIELD News Roundup

Baggies reveal Kirkland interest

West Brom boss Bryan Robson has confirmed he is interested in signing Liverpool goalkeeper Chris Kirkland.

Smicer completes Bordeaux switch

Champions League hero Vladimir Smicer has officially cut his ties with Liverpool and signed a two-year deal with FC Girondins de Bordeaux.

Rafa surprised by Fergie letter

Rafael Benitez has revealed he received an unusual congratulatory letter from Manchester United boss Alex Ferguson following the Reds' Champions League success last season.

14/06/05 : Gain FREE entry to the LFC Museum
13/06/05 : Relive an unforgettable season
13/06/05 : Gerrard: Of course I want to stay
13/06/05 : Kewell to sit out Confederations Cup
13/06/05 : Nando welcomes UEFA decision
12/06/05 : Rafa: We need to change pre-season plans
12/06/05 : Vladi set for French return
12/06/05 : Reina hoping to seal Anfield deal
12/06/05 : Glentoran hoping to draw Reds
12/06/05 : Your view: Now let's win the title
11/06/05 : Parry: We need to improve squad

First Date Tips

First dates can be a right bastard of an experience. I've heard so many stories from people both funny and scary at times. Thank god I haven't got any of my own. Anyways, just to be on the safe side, here's your bible for first dates, print it and keep it with you and read it when you're going out to see someone for the first time.

Arrange your own transport to and from the date.
This way, you are always in control. If the date goes bad, you have the option to leave at any time. He doesn't know where you live, which stops a bad date turning into a nightmare situation when he turns up at your house.

Don't make a big show.
A first date is a nerve racking experience for both of you, you don't want to end up trapped in a date you aren't enjoying, simply because you have to finish the show. You should do everything to make sure you can be relaxed and confident, and show who you really are.

Don't wear anything you don't feel comfortable in.
This is an extension to the big show. First impressions count, and if you don't feel comfortable wearing the first impression you're giving him, it isn't you. and first dates are bad enough without having to yank that hemline down every few minutes, or breathe in because that belt pinches.

Let your date know where you are going.
This sounds obvious, but it puts then far more at ease than if they have no idea. Think about how many times you's felt over or under dressed, and how it saps your confidence

Don't just talk about yourself.
Yes, you are the most interesting person in the world, and you have the most interesting life in the world, but doesn't everybody? The most interesting conversationalists are those who ask questions about other people.

Don't forget to use mouthwash before you go out.
Soooo obviuos, but so many people don't!

If you're eating out, try to think about what you order.
Don't order anything tats hard to eat, no matter how good the place makes it. If it makes you eat like a pig, chances are it'll ruin your make up, get onto your clothes, and make you feel dirty and self conscious all night

Remember this is not a therapy session.
Talking about ex partners, spouses, a messy divorce makes even the most intelligent person seem clingy and pathetic and asking about them can seem pushy and intrusive. Keep the conversation light.

Make sure you consider your date when choosing where to take them
You wouldn't want to take a devoted Vegetarian who eats like a sparrow to "Attila's all you can eat Mongolian Barbecue", similarly, you may like to think twice before asking a devoted meat eater for Vegan food

At least be politely attentive.
No matter how boring he is. There can be nothing worse than having your date looking over your shoulder constantly, or laughing when you tell him about your Auntie's funeral.

Finally, and most importantly: have fun, and be yourself

Babe of the Day - Jennifer Ellison

Steven Gerrard's ex girlfriend makes a record 4th appearance in the Babe of the Day feature. And before the female readers start tearing into her boob size, let me tell you, she's all natural.

Here's her photogallery

Random GIF of the day

Crying While Eating

It sounds weird but some of these videos are hilarious! Check it out here

Advice About Men

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

Hunk of the Day - Ashton Kutcher

More photos

Tagged, Yet again

Thanks Val! This will be embarassing

Three screen names you have had :
Mizzunderstood
Dirrty
Doll69

Three things you like about yourself :
My positiveness
My intelligence
My breasts

Three things you dislike about yourself :
My feet
My stubborness
My temper

Three things that scare you :
Cocroaches
Rats
Robots

Three of your everyday essentials :
My mobile phone
My Ipod
The entire contents of my bag actually

Three things you are wearing right now :
My new ear rings (thanks babe)
pyjamas
knickers

Three of your favorite songs :
Feel - Robbie Williams
Beware of the boys - Panjabi MC (Great tune to dance to)
Rui Di Silva - Touch me

Three new things you want to try in the next twelve months :
Travel on my own
Learn Salsa
Yoga

Three things you want in a relationship :
Honesty
Respect
Sense of humor

Three things you can't do without :
TV
Coffee
My Mobile Phone

Three places you want to go on vacation :
Spain
Ibiza
Carribbean

Three things you just can't do :
Understand the offisde rule lol
Cook
type quickly

Three kids' names :
Lina
Sonia
Danial

Three things you want to do before you die :
Look back on my life and feel as if I've done a good job
Watch Liverpool play (just to see what the YNWA fuss is all about)
Join the mile high club

Three celebrity crushes :
Brad Pitt
Colin Farrell
Mark Wahlberg

Three people I nominate to complete this exercise :
Baptized Lucifer
Samantha
Brandie