ONCE UPON A TIME IN TRIAD SOCIETY (HK 1996)

I've just watched ONCE UPON A TIME IN TRIAD SOCIETY for the first time and now I'm kicking myself in the head for having had it on my shelf for bloody five years without watching it. It is awesome! So different, so inventive, so smart and clever. Different from any other HK film I've seen, and mind you this isn't even some art-house film, it's "just" a clever gangster film - and somehow it's the complete opposite of THE KILLER, the message in this one is trust no one, everyone's bad, everything is a lie, and the main character bad guy (Francis Ng) isn't good underneath it all, he's just a cunt. But even so has sympathetic features. 

Five years ago this Malaysian DVD was the only DVD release of the film anywhere in the world and it might still be. A quick google turns up zilch. The DVD carries the burnt-in theatrical HK subs in English and Chinese (and optional Malay subs). There's an unrelated sequel by the same director.

People who complain about the level of medical attention in their home country should try and seek help at a Hong Kong hospital. Here's a scene of a guy's been shot in the chest and a nurse is trying to save his life putting a Kleenex on the wound. o_O

PS: by the way, the hot nurse in the screen grab is poor Pauline Chan. Six years later she jumped out a 24th floor window. Her sad story is on Wiki.

Black Cat 2: The Assassination of President Yeltsin (HK, 1992)

I just rewatched Stephen Shin's Hong Kong film BLACK CAT 2 from 1992. Not surprisingly it's a sequel to BLACK CAT (1991) also directed by Stephen Shin. The film's original cinema title is actually BLACK CAT 2: THE ASSASSINATION OF PRESIDENT YELTSIN, hahaha.

Anyhoo, while the first film is a direct remake of Luc Besson's French film NIKITA, the sequel is a film all of its own. I remember when it came out 20 years ago, nobody - as in NOBODY - had anything positive to say about the film and, uh, maybe I bought into that notion a bit. I remember watching the film many years ago and disliking it not least because I thought there were simply too many gwailos in it. LOL. 

It's been a number of years since I watched the first film so this time I was able to watch the sequel as a stand alone film and quite frankly I enjoyed it quite a bit. No, it's probably not all that well written in the plot department, and no, the main character of the film, the "Black Cat" aka Erica, isn't even really the main character in the film. She's so two-dimensional that she comes across as a cartoon character, no depth what so ever. 

What saves the film are the action scenes, the shoot-out scenes and the fight scenes. And they come aplenty. As I said the first film is a remake and maybe because Stephen Shin & Co. actually had to come up with a plot of their own this time they kinda forgot what kind of character Erica is (a hitman). Instead they turned her into almost a cyborg. If part 1 was Nikita this film is Terminator 2!!! 

The ending is terrible but, hey, that's just Hong Kong for ya. But don't worry, there's two more sequels, BLACK CAT IN JAIL (2000) and THE BLACK CAT AGENT FILES (2003). Part 3 is right out terrible and part 4 only exists on unsubbed DVD (after having owned part 4 for something like a full decade I still haven't bothered to watch it). 

I highly recommend part 1. It's a better film than the film it remakes! Part 2 is recommended for those of you who are able to accept a wild action movie with a shit plot. Forget about part 3 and 4 and watch part 1 again. 

PS: The poster in my photo is an old poster from one of the Chinese cinemas in Melbourne (the poster is now full of stains from the coffee maker next to it). I actually watched the first BLACK CAT there in the early 90's.

DEADLY DREAM WOMAN (HK, 1992)

I watched Taylor Wong's DEADLY DREAM WOMAN tonight after having had it collecting dust on my shelf for a couple of years. LOL. My tape is from the EASTERN HEROES label in the UK. On the cover it's retitled DEADLY DREAM WOMEN but the print clearly says "Woman". EH had a knack for changing titles of the films they put out, most notoriously THE LAST BLOOD which became Hard-boiled 2: the last blood, haha (incidentally, DEADLY DREAM WOMAN was produced by Wong Jing who directed THE LAST BLOOD).

The convoluted plot: A female superhero called Nightingale Wong (played by sexy Cheung Man) gets knocked over the head in a triad shoot-out and loses her memory. She's found drifting at sea by a bunch of prostitutes who save her. She's given a new name and hangs out with the hoes (their "Madam" is also a fake witch!). She starts work as a nightclub hostess with the madam's sexy daughter (played by sexy, very sexy, Chingmy Yau) but instead of spending the night with horny men they simply rip them off. The sexy daughter is engaged to a retard (played by Jacky Cheung) who turns out to be an ex triad boss. Ehh, what? Haha. Later Nightingale recovers her memory and they all go on an awesome gun tooting revenge spree. Death and mayhem follow.

The top bad guy is played brilliantly by Ken Lo who completely steals every scene he's in. At one point he comes out of his house in nothing but a morning gown and a machine gun in each hand and starts blazing away. Smashing! Absolutely brilliant!! In real life Ken Lo was Jackie Chan's bodyguard for 30 years! If you don't like or know how to appreciate Hong Kong humour you're probably gonna be major bored by the 30 minutes that follow the initial 10 minutes of action. Personally, I was well entertained and I'll recommend the film even if you DON'T like HK humour! There's enough awesome action to satisfy fans of 1980s HK action flicks.

The UK vhs is presented in Cantonese with English and Chinese subtitles. Unfortunately, it's also in fullscreen. There's no dvd release anywhere. The best release (which I sadly don't own) is a laserdisc released somewhere in Asia; it is letterboxed and subbed in English/Chinese, but I'm told there is a HK LD that doesn't have subs so be careful of what you buy if you want subs. There's also an unsubbed HK vcd and a vhs in the US that retitles the film Lady Black Mask.

Widescreen version from laserdisc

Fullscreen version from VHS

My VCD collection from ... some Chinese territory

Here's a whole pile of VCD's (video-cd's) that I bought second-hand at a video store in Copenhagen in the early 2000s. I have no idea where they originate from other that it's a Chinese speaking country. Mainland China or Taiwan I would guess but not Hong Kong as there's no English text on the covers. Some of them are actually called DVCD ("dvd + vcd = dvcd"!!). Is there a difference to the ordinary VCD format? No idea! Most of them have no English titles on the covers either but if I remember correctly they all carry English and Chinese subtitles (i.e. they're off HK prints).

PICTURE OF A NYMPH aka Portrait of a Nymph

TAXI HUNTER (Herman Yau, Hong Kong, 1993)

HERMAN YAU made the awesome horror flicks EBOLA SYNDROME and UNTOLD STORY that both star ANTHONY WONG. For some reason not a whole lot of fans of those films have watched TAXI HUNTER even tho that film is ALSO directed by Herman Yau and it ALSO stars Anthony Wong as a maniac on the loose. It's a pity cos it's a really good film. Gore fans who are only watching these films for the nasty scenes but don't give a fuck about characters or plot probably won't like TAXI HUNTER all that much as it's not as extreme and sick as the other two. But I'd recommend that everyone else watch it. I own it on HK video-cd and Malay DVD. The rest of you might find it a lot easier to just pick up the reg. 1 DVD (LOL). Here's the trailer:

Killer Angels - again!

I'll be getting yet another version of one of my old HK faves, THE KILLER ANGELS starring cute ass-kicker Moon Lee. I'm exited about this version as it's the US Chinatown VHS in Chinese (I assume it's Cantonese) with English subs. Awesome cover too. I already own the unsubbed HK VCD, the English dubbed version on a bootleg DVD, and a Mandarin dubbed DVD with English subs from Taiwan (which is sourced from a video tape!!). There's a German DVD but I have no idea whether it's uncut or not and it doesn't have English subs (I'm not even sure if it only carries a German dub?).

Love Taiwan!

Gee whiz!! One of my fave Hong Kong "girls with guns" flicks is KILLER ANGELS (starring Moon Lee). Unfortunately, it's never been released on HK DVD, VHS, LD, or VCD with English subtitles. Actually it's never been released on HK DVD at all, and if there are video tapes or a laserdisc releases I have certainly never come across them. All I've been able to find is an un-subbed VCD and an English dubbed American VHS (which I only have a bootleg off). I must have watched that VCD 15 times as it's such an entertaining movie. HOWEVER... last night... I stumbled over a DVD release from Taiwan... that says it has English subtitles!! Fucken brilliant!! I ordered it right away. It's from a well known eBay seller in HK (and he's got more copies if you want one!). It's listed as letterboxed and dubbed in Mandarin. I also bought MAD MAD GHOST (also on Taiwan DVD) and VAMPIRE KIDS (on HK DVD). Niice!

The Blonde Fury (HK, 1989)

I watched THE BLONDE FURY (aka Lady Reporter) last night. I've only watched it once before (some twenty years back on German television!). This is Cynthia Rothrock's film and it's such an fun flick overall.

The plot is confused, her hairstyle changes from scene to scene (because there was a long gab in shooting the film) but, uh, it's not like we're not used to confused plots in HK films. Haha. The good, good man John Charles* starts off his review in the HK filography book this way: "Awful comedy relief and insipid dialogue detract severely from..." and gives it 4 stars out of 10 (which in regards to his star system renders the film worthwhile only to fans of the director/actors with low expectations!).

The US distributed version from Tai Seng; same cover but with an added sticker.

I don't agree in reg. to THE BLONDE FURY, like I said it's such a fun movie. It's got violence, the usual kind of batshit crazy insanity we're used to with these films, and it's got Cynthia Rothrock in the middle of her best period film wise. And the film is funny too. Highly recommended (in my book anyway!).

Unfortunately BLONDE FURY is hard to find on DVD. The version I got hold of is the old Deltamac DVD from HK. Tai Seng distributed it in the US (reportedly under the alternative title. Interestingly enough, altho the print used for the HK DVD uses the BLONDE FURY title the alternative title is also added in a subtitle under the real title!?). However, despair not, you can get it on VCD from dddhouse and hopefully Fortune Star will rerelease it on DVD at some stage as well.


*John Charles is a "good, good man" cos he wrote "The Hong Kong Filmography 1977-1997". It's thee best HK film book ever. Even if he doesn't enjoy many of the "batshit crazy" films that I do. xD

Ricky Hui - RIP

Unfortunately I've just learnt that Ricky Hui has died (8/11/11). He was only 65. So sad. :(

Ricky Hui was one of the funniest comedians ever. He was "the human Droopy" and he starred - and was the funniest character - in the Hong Kong movie CHICKEN AND DUCK TALK (and many other films). I taped that film from a now defunct Danish TV channel in the 1990s and I must have watched it at least 10 times if not more. Here's a link to the news bit on ihktv about his passing. The page is translated by Google so it's NOT that all HK translations are in wonky English like the old VHS subtitles. Usually I'd ad a "LOL" but now it's not even funny. Ricky died. RIP buddy.



Above: Someone posted a collection of funny scenes from CHICKEN AND DUCK TALK.



Ricky Hui was also a Canto pop singer and here he is on stage with his brother Sam Hui and some other guy. I accidentally stumbled over a concert on a HK TV channel that I was able to watch (via satellite dish) in the 90s. I seem to remember it was a channel broadcasting from the UK but it was HK TV. The concert was Ricky Hui and I could not stop laughing. He was doing this probably romantic love song but he just had THAT face! He cracked me up.

Received yet another small parcel from a Chinese gent in SF...

And what can I say other than arrrrrr [i.e. Homer Simpson drool]

11 laserdiscs and 4 video tapes of Hong Kong films. 6 of the LDs are in plain white covers but I wanted to get them anyway as they're very rare; One of them is the rare version of DEVIL FETUS which is identical to the (also very rare) Ocean Shores VHS and which is an alternative print with some different footage (alternative to the DVD and VCD releases). Oh, and one of the other white sleeve laserdiscs is Tsui Hark's DANGEROUS ENCOUNTER - FIRST KIND!!!

Check the first parcel here.








LEOPARD HUNTING (HK, 1998, s: Jade Leung, Roy Cheung, Yukari Oshima). And yes it's one film on two video tapes! This used to be common practice in HK (and thus also the US Chinatown tapes). I have no idea as to why they did this.



WAY OF THE LADY BOXERS



ANGEL'S PROJECT



THE HAUNTED MADAM



DEVIL'S WOMAN



DEVIL RETURNS (not to be confused with SATAN RETURNS)




SALLY YEH (Sally Yip) live in concert 1991





CRAZY SPIRIT

The remaining white sleeve laserdiscs are: FRIENDLY GHOST, THE FIRST VAMPIRE IN CHINA (which I have on a Japanese VHS but I'm informed this LD is subtitled in English!!!), NEW MR VAMPIRE (!!!), MISS MAGIC.

All in all a very good parcel with 13 rare HK movies (and one Sally Yeh concert). There was a lot of rare stuff I couldn't get because, well, I'm not made of money. LOLZ.

Blow your mind for a penny!!!

Unless television has ruined your short term memory completely you'll remember I bought a DVD from Amazon UK for 1 pence a fortnight ago. I remember Fred "Ninjadixon" Anderson asked me if it were a good movie. I suspect he thought it would probably be the worst crap ever. I mean how can you get a good or even decent movie for one lousy stinking penny!?!? I must admit I kinda had the same worry, I mean, come on, ONE PENNY for crying out loud! Well, the movie is FIREFIST OF INCREDIBLE DRAGON (Hong Kong, 1983), I watched it last night and... let me try and put this into perspective... one of the wildest and most insane films I usually bring up when the debate is on, well, wild and insane movies, is WOLF DEVIL WOMAN. Most fans of worldweird cinema will tell you that film is a bat-shit crazy movie. Try and listen carefully to what I'm going to say now, I'll try and write it as slowly and carefully pronounced as I can... "FIREFIST" IS "WOLF DEVIL WOMAN"... AND THEN DOUBLE UP!!!!!! ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!




This is without a doubt the most wild, insane, crazy, fucked up, messed up, mindblowing piece of worldweird cinema I've eve seen!!! This film has EVERYTHING!!! Dead corpses, ghosts, flying ghosts, nudity, zombies, bad kung fu, a zombie doing bad kung fu, sleaze, gore, people pissing their pants, the window scene from SUSPERIA totally ripped off!!!, music from spaghetti westerns, bloody bath water, and tons more! The only thing you won't find is a flying head... BUT IT HAS A FLYING HEART THAT KILLS PEOPLE!!!!!







That one penny is the best penny I've ever spent!!! My good buddy Ingolf (who once was part of the Copenhagen gang but now resides in the fjells of Norway) tells me this version is even only a short version and there is a longer French print (only on VHS I think). Needless to say I tried to located that version immediately after finishing the mindblowing experience but alas to no avail. Apparently the French version is even letterboxed. The print states Jimmy Tseng is the director but I haven't been able to find any info on the film and I don't trust the fucken IMDb at all as most of that info is written by drunken Mongolian monkeys - on medication. The UK disc is serviceable but not great: fullscreen, English dub, and the picture looks like ass! (kinda like if it were taped off an outskirt TV signal). And there are scenes covered in a weird blue light, I couldn't even tell if it were MEANT to be that way or if the print just went from crappy to even more crappy - BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER!!! Somehow the rough picture made it all the more fun.

The DVD cover says 2002 but even so you can still easily get it from Amazon UK and eBay. My copy was a second hand copy but I bet it was only watched once (or not at all) as it looks like new. I checked eBay and it turns out the film was also released on VHS in the US but apparently it's never made it to DVD statesside. One seller stated the US tape runs 90 minutes which is quite a bit longer than the UK DVD but I have my doubts about that. I've seen one too many eBay page with info taken right off video cases because the sellers couldn't be arsed to check the tape or DVD (but if you have the tape please let me know. Cheers). If you can't play PAL DVDs I suggest you get the boot they're selling from FarEastFlix; their version is fullscreen + English dub but whether it's off the US VHS or the UK DVD I have no idea. I'm certainly gonna watch this again, I suggest you do the same if you're into worldweird films. xD





The deadly flying heart taking a rest in a tree.