Space Thing (1968)

I'm just going to go ahead and say it. This was the weakest movie in the marathon. That's probably why they showed it first at 3pm to the sparse audience of early comers. That's still speaking highly of this entire event because I did quite enjoy it.

A man obsessed with sci-fi magazines finds himself bored with his horny wife, when she complains about the magazines coming in between them he puts them down momentarily to take us into a long awkward sex scene (the first of many I would see in the course of the next 12 hours). Post coitus he immediately starts gazing at his beloved science fiction comics again and without notice we're taken into a world of fantasy where our bored husband is posing as an alien (a human looking alien) to infiltrate an enemy space ship which just happens to be crawling with half nude women. They all of course find him irresistible and are itching to get him alone for, um, probing?

"Visit The Planet Of the Rapes!"  - HA! How misleading!

The movie doesn't really go anywhere. Its known as "the worst sci-fi movie ever made with nudity", which I think is an accurate description, although Doris Wishman's Nude on the Moon is viable contender. There's something very Ed Wood feeling about this movie. The forced dialog carries out the half assed plot humorously. The protagonist constantly reminds the audience of his revulsion to these femaliens, but how he MUST complete his mission. The few other men on the ship are apparently inadequate. The captain is a sexy dominatrix, she of course eventually comes around and wants to sleep with him too.

The sex scenes are the most boring part of the movie. They aren't really having sex, just making out. The girl is naked, the guy usually isn't, they lay side by side on a space bed and do this for for at least five minutes at a time. I would notice over the course of the evening that this is David F. Friedman's choice manner in which he exploits sex. More like suggestive dry humping if you ask me. The aspects that make some of these movies raunchy aren't the "sex", it's the prolonged foreplay. At the beginning of Space Thing for example, there's a painfully long scene where his wife is licking his, um...something hairy...I never really figured out what. It just looked like she had a mouth full of hair. It was truly revolting!

I loved that the opening credits of Space Thing were painted on a female body.

The climax of the movie, which is set in the desert (supposedly an alien planet), is mostly the girls topless running around the barren rocky landscape. It also features the most laughably ineffective "explosion" I've ever seen in a  movie.

This review is running a little short, but it was a very short movie! I'm glad I was able to catch it at the theater. I would have never sought it out myself and being just barely over and hour it was a nice aperitif for the main attractions.

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965)

It’s no secret that Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! is one of the greatest movies of all time. That’s an indisputable fact. It’s been praised for decades for its quick witted dialogue, shoe string budget and of course it’s cast of well endowed beauties. Russ Meyer somehow became infamous for exploiting women. That couldn’t be less true.  I think when people see big breasted women it’s automatically assumed that you’re in for some kind of male fantasy. It could also be falsely assumed that you’re dealing with a casting couch director when in reality his wife, whom he was devoted too, did much of the casting and even had personal friendships with the girls. Meyers’ films are always surprisingly refreshing in their portrayal of women. Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! is the most outstanding example of this. Three amazononian towers of womanhood who drive fast cars, do what they want, take what they want and still embrace their femininity.  

In case you’re one of the sad few who hasn’t been exposed to this masterpiece Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! is about three go-go dancers who are driving through Mojave desert  presumably moving on to the next town to start a new gig at a new club. They stop for a break and run into a young couple passing through. The leader of the pack, Varla, played by the late Tura Satana feels threatened by the young man’s hot rod and claims of speed so she challenges him to a race.  She wins, by cheating, then kills him with her bare hands. They take his little bikini clad girlfriend hostage and move on. While stopping for gas, the attendant tells Varla about a local family of three men. The father being a crippled recluse with a hoard of money hidden somewhere on his ranch, and his two sons that take care of him. Of course, Varla, being the greedy conniving villain that she is cooks up a scheme to raid the farm and steal the money. A deserted junkyard is the setting for the events to lead up to the explosive climax. Billie, the blonde who's only interested in being fun and fancy free. Rosie whose unadulterated devotion and passion get her nothing but pain and the ruthless Varla who you can’t help but root for, CONSTANTLY.The old man is played by none other than Russ Meyer alumni  Stuart Lancaster. He always brings a healthy serving of awesome to Meyers’ films, especially in this one with lines like “Women! They let 'em vote, smoke and drive – even put 'em in pants! And what happens? A Democrat for president!”. He and Varla work well as opposing forces. Both wicked, both killers - essentially the same only put in very different packages.

All of Russ Meyers’ films have and will continue to strike debate amongst its viewers. While many will never see past the enormous breasts there’s much more at work here. Despite his on-the-nose writing, clever editing and cartoonish sex and violence, there’s a basic foundation of womanly prowess. We’re usually seeing the world through the eyes of these amazing women, and in the rare occasion that a man is the star of one of his movies, they’re usually very emasculated and viewed as nothing more than a quickie to these stoic figures of female perfection. Like an R. Crumb comic where his feeble little self portraits are cowering at the waist side of a buxom dominatrix. Russ Meyer had a way at with women. He obviously admired them, and when we worked with them, he turned them into goddesses. Take Tura Satana for example. An unusual half Japanese beauty who was actually a go-go dancer when they met, he worked with her and helped her become the iconic image of savage womanhood that made her famous. And sadly, the rest of her body of work pales in comparison.

Meyers created giants. Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! portrayed women in a way that the world hadn’t really seen before. Touching upon pill popping, female aggression, unbridled sex as POSITIVE subject and lesbianism, not to mention Varla’s subtle way of calling Tommy a fag for not wanting to race her. Sure, there had been a few juvenile delinquency and girl gang movies in the 40’s and 50’s, all much weaker examples of this lurid creation. It could be said that these elements had been shown before, but keep in mind, this was not a propaganda film! This was as straight forward as it gets.

I had the pleasure of recently catching a screening at the legendary New Beverly Cinema. It was glorious to see this classic in its natural 35mm state. The theater was packed with people, everyone loved it, and the audience was laughing together as one entity. It’s a very nice feeling. The best part? I just happened to be sitting next to Haji who did a Q&A after the show. Yes. I repeat, I sat next to Haji during a screening of Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! 

Also speaking was Richard Brummer, who did the sound editing on the film and worked with Meyers throughout his career. I was also pleased to find out that he was Fredric Hobbs’ editor! As you may know, I’m a huge fan of Hobbs who’s (in)famous for Godmonster of Indian Flats and Alabama’s Ghost. During one (or both) of my reviews I made a connection between Russ Meyer and Fredric Hobbs' styles. I'm happy to learn that my connection wasn't made in vain! Richard Brummer also named the film “Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!”! A title so great it warrants THREE exclamation points! I think he’s definitely earned the Atomic Caravan award for “OMFG. SO AWESOME!”. Check out his IMDB profile. His credentials are all over the place.

It’s hard to talk about a film like Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!. What can you say that hasn’t already been said? I’m amongst a large group of people who see this film as a masterpiece. As time goes on it seems to find a broader and broader audience. It’s as socially relevant now as it was in 1965 and the jokes are every bit as fresh. This wasn’t my first time viewing it, but it felt very new and surreal. I’m happy to report that this screening actually gave me some kind of new hope for humanity. It’s nice to know that other people still care about these movies and that efforts are still being made to share and preserve them. It’s a very satisfying feeling.

The real star of this show was Tura Satana. It was an honorary double feature double feature to commemorate her recent passing. So stay tuned for my review of the second film, Ted V. Mikels’ The Doll Squad!

The Video 98 Collection Part 3: Robot Holocaust (1986)

When buying VHS there are many things to consider. First and foremost, is it out of print? If the answer is "yes", the price is right and you're in the market of trading, it probably is a wise investment. That is, if you have absolutely no standards, like me. But there are other selling points that make the deal ever so much sweeter. After being completely distracted by the EPIC cover. I overlooked the company that puts it out. So I was thrilled to see this beautiful sight upon starting the video...

If you're unfamiliar with this logo, you have no idea what you're missing out on! I always know that when I see the Wizard logo I'm in for some great fun! Even if the movie ends up sucking, those covers are irreplaceable. Nothing compares!

Robot Holocaust is a post apocalyptic movie of the "warrior" genre with lots of hand puppets and bad robot masks. The plot is obviously a Star Wars rip-off. I kept thinking that the music sounded familiar. I looked it up and it turns out the score was stolen from various Richard Band compositions, primarily from Laser Blast. Not to discredit the genius of the Bands, but it's pretty low when you're movie sucks so bad you're stealing music from Full Moon productions.

Set in the future, the air supply is now being controlled by an ominous robot called "the Dark One". Certain people are immune to the toxic fumes but most are under the thumb of the ruler. A scientist invents a potion/serum/something that they're never quite clear about that makes the air breathable. To assure that he maintains control, the Dark One kidnaps the scientist to force him to confess his secret. The scientist has a daughter who rounds up a group of bad actors warriors to save him.

The Dark One is never really seen, but we do have a woman with a thick European accent staggering through the role of nemesis. Valaria ended up being my favorite character. We're introduced to her through a mystical sequences of fog and interpretive dance. It was at this moment that I realize that the extent of the props and special effects were courtesy of Spencers Gifts ™.

"High Five!"

As the warriors travel, they meets a group of femme-nazis who capture men, cut out their tongues, rape them for mating purposes then kill them. The leader challenges one of the fellas to a battle, she loses then decides to come along and be the token asshole. They also decide to bring a tongueless "mute" who was next to be executed along with them. I might also mention that they have their own robot. A cheap C3PO imitation who is supposed to deliver some kind of comic relief, but really just kind of distracts from the real humor: the movie itself. They face many challenges along the way, including a tunnel full bucked tooth worm hand puppets...

Doesn't look like that's his first time with a face full of phallus

The only gore in the movie. However, these are not the only Freudian symbols in the movie! At first glance I totally misinterpreted what this was supposed to be...

I'm still not really sure.

C-crappy-O isn't sure either.

Dorque Torque, knows the secret being the weinerific wonderland that is "Robot Holocaust", but he's not telling. He wanted me to find out myself through research after the movie.

Why the hell were these guys even in this movie?

What more is there to say really?! It Robot Holocaust for Christ's sake! The only other thing this director, Tim Kinkaid,  is "famous" for is Mutant Hunt and Breeders... Oh yeah and A SHIT LOAD OF GAY PORN! There are many reasons why I love this movie. It reminds me of some craptastic straight to video mistakes that I've loved for years, like Shredder Orpheus and Roller Blade. It's sure to become a favorite of this very particular brand of "sucky". Something about the Mall-bought costumes, the boiler room sets and the actual effort that was put into this movie to make it entertaining is honorable really. Besides just making fun of it, it's really not too bad! It follows the formula well enough and relies on hand made effects and sheer ingenuity to carry out this trashsterpiece. If that isn't reason enough to see this movie, then perhaps this is...

So with that being said I'll leave you with one final image. The one that we-the-viewers are left with at the end of the movie.

Hope that doesn't spoil it for you too much.

Goodnight!

Trade List

Here's my list of movies for trade. I figured I might as well go ahead and post it here for anyone who might be interested in doing a swap. I also sell some of them for a living (can't technically sell the ones that are in print). Check out my Ioffer shop to see what's listed as of now.  I'll update this list and link back to it periodically. Also, as I write reviews for some of these movies I'll try and link those too.

Fell free to leave comments with questions or email me at Papermothra@yahoo.com

Clicky Von Linky...

When Women Had Giant Mutant Sheep Embryos

While preparing for a move across the County I've been trying get through some of these randoms I've accumulated. Just to filter out a few impulse buys and watch a few of the movies I have on loan from friends so they can be enjoyed and returned. Yesterday I watched an incredible piece of Italian schlock, the 1972 film When Women Lost Their Tails. I found it as a budget release of two Senta Berger movies (the other being Blitz which I haven't gotten around to yet) at a local used dvd shop and thought the title sounded sufficiently wonderful.

It ended up exceeding my expectations. It turned out to be a tongue in cheek sex comedy set in the stone age. Senta Berger plays a sexy cave girl who's the belonging of a group of five cave stooges. One of which is played by Italian cult actor Frank Wolff. I didn't expect this movie to be as funny as it turned out to be. A new, smarter cave man moves into the area and tricks the dim witted neanderthals into using a money systems with rocks, he swindles them out of work, food and of course sex kitten, Senta Berger. The dialogue was surprisingly witty, it's fun seeing these characters fumble around to build themselves a little society. The gay cave man was especially charming. The punchline at the end of the movie is that Berger is liberated through prostitution! Not a movie for those sensitive to misogyny but worth a look to anyone with a sense of humor. My favorite thing about this movie were the sets and music. It was like a Flintstone cartoon come to life. Completely over the top! It reminded of how the sets looked in Robinson Crusoe on Mars. The score was done by none other than one of my all time favorite composers Bruno Nicolai, although it was basically the same theme and incidental music through out the whole film it's still fun and catchy!

After I watched the movie I of course looked it up the internet, the poster I came across struck a nerve. I suddenly had this crazy deja vu from seeing this poster as a kid and being completely intrigued by it. I'm not positive where I saw it but my best bet would be this book of 1970's film posters my Mom got for me when I was in the 6th grade. I remember seeing her looking all savage and ravishing bound by chains, I remember the title being very odd to me and the text seeming out of place but in a good way. I remember think she had a lot of hair and wondering what the hell this movie could be about. I assumed it was some weird western. I couldn't imagine a time women ever had tails so none of it made any sense to me! This memory has made me feel a bit sentimental over finally seeing this movie. I'm so happy it found me!

The other movie has been bouncing around my mind all week. The reviled and ignored creature feature, Godmonster of Indian Flats. Reading some other reviews online was a bit disappointing for me. A lot of people seem to really hate this movie. I don't get it, what did they expect? I went into this with extremely low expectations and immediately noticed it wasn't just any run of the mill Something Weird movie. After a few flicks like Bowanga Bowanga and Sinderella and the Golden Bra you learn that they can't all be winners. The style of film making reminded me of Russ Meyer. The cuts were clever and funny. The acting was the kind of "good-bad" acting you want from a movie like this - intentional almost. It also had Meyers alumni, Stuart Lancaster as the racist town Mayor. At one point I wondered if Russ Meyer might have directed this under a pseudonym. He didn't of course, but if he made a movie with no boobs, mutant sheep and an even more limited budget and time frame, I could see this being apart of his filmography. The "no boobs" should have been the give away, ha!


The story revolves around a historic old west town in Nevada. After being drunk and beaten, a sheep farmers has a psychedelic experience in his barn with floating yellow sheep. When he comes-to he sees that a giant bloody embryo has been born. He tells a scientist who's doing experiments on the strange phosphorescent gasses in the area and they begin to study it. It grows up to be a giant 8 foot mutant sheep. Isn't that wonderful?!

The Godmonster isn't even my favorite thing about this movie. It's the over all feel and production quality. Not to say that the production quality is high, but it's nice and grainy which works beautifully with the gorgeous location and the director's artistic vision. On the dvd you can expect Something Weird's usual awesome special features, including an AMAZING music video for a song called "Don't Fart Around with Love" from another movie by the same director. It reminded me of something from Forbidden Zone! I did some research and discovered the director, Fredric Hobbs was an artist and experimental filmmaker. He made three other movies, Troika (1969), Roseland (1971) and Alabama's Ghost (1973). I haven't been able to find out much about the first but Roseland (the movie that feature's "Don't Fart Around with Love") and Alabama's Ghost both have a small cult following. I plan on getting them both very soon. You can order Roseland from Something Weird's website click HERE, you can also view the trailer on that page. Alabama's Ghost is a little more difficult to track down. . In the meantime there are a few wacky clips from that crazed blaxploitation horror movie on Youtube if you care to check it out.

Until next time!!

Blind Beast

When you watch as many movies as I do you tend to get bored easily. I think my compulsive movie watching is partially the result of Adult A.D.D. I'm always hoping to find something new and exciting. I become obsessed with and then burn myself out on themes. I did it with horror for a while, I spent so many years obsessing over all of these different facets of the genre that I found myself hardly able to watch any horror movies for two years or so. When I did catch one I couldn't muster up the passion for them I once felt. I'm pretty much over that now, but I'm still guilty of burning myself out on something. I also did this with sex movies. Watching tons of Euro-sleaze can get old after a while. You know you're over doing it when Pasolini's Salo: 120 Days of Sodom isn't even shocking anymore, just boring. Don't even get me started on Something Weird's brand of  nudie film. After a few Doris Wishman nudist camp movies it's enough to make you never want to see a naked body on film or IN LIFE ever again! So I cooled it on the perverted stuff for a while. Sex can be a pretty boring subject matter for film anyway. It has to be something really special to stand out. Like Russ Meyer for instance. Now there's a guy who can be make a sexy, campy, and artistic film. Even still, I find myself yawning at sex scenes that last longer than a minute. Whole movies revolving around the subject? I still have my doubts. However today's feature surprised me in the most delightful of ways. I finally got around to seeing Yasuzo Masamura's Blind Beast.

I'd been curious about it ever since it's release a few years ago. It was put out by Fantomas, who I've always been pleased with in the past. They tend to deliver on great offbeat movies with cool packaging and decent special features. After several years of this bouncing around my Netflix que I finally made the leap.

The story follows an attractive young model who's stalked and kidnapped by a blind sculptor who has become fixated on her exquisite physique by feeling up a sculpture of her at a museum. He decided he must have her to model for one his masterpiece, even if by force. He locks her up in his amazing studio which is comprised of wall to wall sculptures and installations of giant bizarre body parts. Although this subject should be revolting and offensive Masamura delivers a very sensitive and erotic manner of telling this sad and beautiful story. Naturally Aki protests and tries to escape, but inevitably she becomes sucked  in to the self destructive abyss and falls for her captor.

The images and ideas in this movie effected me profoundly. I've seen a lot of debauchery in my day, but this one was different. I felt somewhat naive watching. As if I was seeing something new. It's hard to believe this movie is 41 years old. There were moments I was frightened b what I was seeing and there were times I was magnetically entranced. I found myself loving and hating all of the characters at some point through the duration of the movie. The subject matter got pretty ugly towards the end and despite it's dismal ambiance I left the movie feeling peaceful and satisfied. The narration by Aki (Mako Midori) helped with that. It wasn't just a story of a woman kidnapped, raped and inevitably...worse. Her voice over gives the viewer peace of mind that she's not as out of control as she may seem at first glance. In the end, they were all perverts! And I love it!

It was based on a story by the famous Japanese writer Edogawa Rampo from which many film adaptations of his work have been made. I plan on seeing more of those. Also, the wonderful Yasuzo Masamura. Before this I'd only seen one of his earlier films, Giants and Toys. A WONDERFUL, yet completely different movie! I can hardly believe they were made by the same guy! You can bet I'll be cruising his filmography pretty fiercely as well!