Everything is Terrible 2: Tokyo Drift (2010)

In lieu of losing that massive ‘get reacquainted’ blog I’d been working on for half the week, I’ll probably be keeping my next few blogs brief. I’ll also be typing them out in Microsoft Word like I should have been the whole time.

I wanted to mention a heart warming video compilation that has sky rocketed to favorite-among-favorites. Everything is Terrible 2: Tokyo Drift.

I bought the original, Everything is Terrible: the Movie , on my first visit to Amoeba after the move. I've always loved Video Mixtape comps such as is this, and there are so many if you know where to look! One of the most popular (and BEST) is 5 Minutes to Live’s Lost and Found Video Night. They've been doing it for a long time and I are up to volume 10. I've seen about half, some are better than others but over all it’s a noble feet and will be sure to keep your friends entertained at any gathering. There’s also TV Carnage, which happens to be my least favorite. Despite their misleading magical cover art, the tone is much more serious. Parts of it could fall under reality death video, and that’s not what I’m into at all. I want pop culture, flashiness and camp. Bad movies, bad commercials bad haircuts. I want what Tim and Eric satirize.There are still quite a few I haven’t seen yet. The video mixtape genre is timeless and limitless. Check out ‘Not Coming to a Theater Near You’s blog on the subject to read up on a few others.

Then there’s Everything is Terrible. The first one is a wonderfully entertaining video mixtape. They make their own little creative embellishments in the editing room which I think really adds to the spirit of the parody. I laughed all the way through and immediately wanted to show it to my friends: Mission Accomplished! I of course had to go back for the second one, I had no idea that it could possibly be better. BUT IT WAS! I fell in love with 2 Terrible. Not only does follow a narrative (Jesus vs. the Anti-Christ AKA Duane vs. Baby Hitler) but it has a philosophy. Their slogan “If Everything is Terrible then nothing is” says it all. It’s a way of life I adapted a long time ago, before Everything is Terrible entered my life. Hunting for oddities has become a normal part of my shopping routine. Unlabeled video tapes at thrift stores are potential gold mines. Everything is Terrible knows this and has obviously put a lot of effort into making it an art.


I also can’t help but be reminded of one of my favorite dvds of all time. Sort of a video mixtape, sort of  it’s own thing. Paper Rad’s Trash Talking. Half of the dvd is their own abrasive neon midi saturated video toaster edited animation, but the other half is a sensory overload of pop cultural mishaps. 80’s commercials, Moonbeam movie clips, strange fantasies about Garfield. All woven together in fluorescent package, tied with a radioactive bow that you’re almost afraid to touch because it could blow your face off and burn your shadow.

That was MY take on it anyway. I've met a lot of people who dislike it for the music or animation style, but even to those I might suggest Everything is Terrible 2. It’s more straight forward and features the same Video Mixtape elements and only slight embellishments on the curiosities themselves.









They also add something called ”Three Minute Movies”. Where they sum up a bad movie into three minutes of awesomeness. This lead me to one of the greatest cinematic discoveries of the year to date.

Hawk Jones.
Hawk Jones
Hawk Jones.



The best movie ever starring a cast entirely of children. He’s a tough 8 year old cop and he doesn't want any broads gettin’ in his way. This movie is actually pretty funny,and even somewhat intentionally which is rare for this kind of pursuit. Just one of the many treasure to behold on Everything is Terrible 2: Tokyo Drift.












So I guess that’s it for now. What’s your favorite Video Mixtape? Have you ever made one of your own? Or found something absurd that should make it to one of these tapes? Let me know!

Until next time, give it up for our Lord and Savior...DUANE...

The Video 98 Collection Part 4: Nukie (1988)

Considering the cult followings of bad horror, action and sci-fi movies, I always wondered why there wasn't as much attention on bad kid's movies. Sure, certain classics get acknowledged like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, but what about the thousands of other kids movies, ALL decades that break the boundaries of crappiness. I always felt that kids movies offered a certain naive charm and raw imagination that that you won't find from other genres of "bad movies". The 80's seem to be a time where terrible children's movies were being made left and right to compete with all of the amazing family films coming out. There was a huge market for that stuff, cheap knock-offs of Dark Crystal and the Never Ending Story were a'plenty. I particularly love (just about) anything put out by Moon Beam, Full Moon's line of "family films". They're great because you get the people who make the Puppet Master puppets and Robot Jox creating cute dragons and tiny dinosaurs. For the record, Nukie is NOT a Moon Beam film. I'm almost off subject here. This is more along the lines of E.T. in Africa. Nukie is a wretched, forgotten piece of crap that I'm happy to have finally seen it.

Two space brothers find themselves in the earth's stratosphere and get split up (somehow) one winding up in Florida and the other in Africa. In the states "Miko" has been captured and is having experiments done on him by the government. In Africa, poor little retarded Nukie is wandering around aimlessly talking to giraffes. The first half of this movie is primarily watching Miko be tortured and having to listen to these two scream eachother's name on a loop for 15 minute intervals. It's like they forgot to write dialogue for those scenes so they just improvised in post production.

 

There are a bunch of pointless characters that really aren't even worth mentioning.There was ZERO character development and I wouldn't even know how to go about describing their parts, because none of them really mattered at all. There was an unnecessary Nun played by Glynis Johns who was token washed up celebrity. She was never even in the same shot as Nukie.

                                                                                                   

Nukie always seems to have really nasty sinus issues.

There's also a sensitive computer named E.D.D.I. who helps Miko find his way back to Nukie.

I couldn't have said it better myself, E.D.D.I.

Well, this is turning out to be a bad review for a bad movie. Now I can cross it off of my list. Seriously. It was actually on my list!...

See?

I'm not sure why I used this as an example of kids movies that should have followings. It's an atrocity! Probably because for some reason I had really been wanting to see it! It's about as good as Badi, the Turkish ET. I think I'm going to take a little break from my Video 98 marathon for a day or two. I need something really good to wash the "nukie" out of my mouth.