All of Our Buses Must Sail in the Same Direction

Ed. Note: This is a long, rambling post about Economic Development and the Port Authority, that contains nothing funny and no vulgarity except for one "shit" and a "twat"... and since you've passed them already, you can be assured that the rest of the post is G-Rated. There's an inordinate repetition of "two", however, which we can't account for, but it does provides for a nice Manichean dualism of sorts. We'll pause for a second while you go look up what "Manichean" means in an online dictionary and try to to figure out what in the name of holy hell we were trying to get at. Anyway, feel free to skip this entry and move onto the next post where we'll probably make fun of... let's say... Chartiers City.

With today's Big Ol' Transit Meeting and the impending opening of the Northshore Connector, I figured we'd take a few moments to discuss some more esoteric points of contention about the Port Authority, mostly because I enjoy playing with transit models in my head, but also because I feel the need to need to use the word "esoteric" in a sentence.

Before we begin, however, let's recognizing two things that are important in framing the discussions about PAT: money and money. I feel the need to repeat these points in my discussions about PAT, because they seem to be fundamental assumptions that most people are oblivious towards.

First, there is a difference between Operating Funds and Capital Funds. Operating Funds are those sources of money that allow you to pay for staff, supplies, rent, repairs, etc.; Capital Funds are those sources of money that allow you buy and build stuff. In the Port Authority's world, Operating Funds pay for drivers, advertising, mechanics, schedules and so forth, while Capital Funds get them buses, parking garages, and tunnels underneath the Allegheny River.

Second, these funds are always separate and by statute the twain shall never meet. You can't use Capital Funds to pay for Operating Expenses. Ever. So, for the people that complain "Oh they have money to build the Northshore connector, but why don't they have the money to keep my bus route?" the answer is: PAT was granted a large amount of Federal, State, and Local money to build the Northshore Connector and ONLY the Northshore Connector. If they tried to use the Northshore Connector money to pay their drivers, Steve Bland would be in jail right now. The complaint about service cuts is, at its heart, a complaint about fairs and state and local operating funding.

[As a side point, those in any Local Government know that if you tell the Federal Government that you no longer want the money that you had asked for, the Federal Government pretty much ignores you the next time you ask.]

Now with that out of the way, let's get back to today's meeting. The P-G reported

County Executive Rich Fitzgerald opened the all-day hearing saying the loss of transit service could reverse economic gains seen recently after decades of stagnation.

Let's dissect that for a moment, shall we?

I'd say that there are two major strains of economic development happening in Pittsburgh today. The first being the traditional bricks & mortar that the URA, County Economic Development Department, Allegheny Conference, et al. try to foster. The tools used are familiar: site development & remediation, loan interest loans & grants, TIFs and tax breaks, etc. Philosophically, this kind of economic development can range from lowering barriers to entry for marginal companies to outright "Smokestack Chasing."

On the other side, you have non-traditional economic development, typically coming out of the universities centered around technology transfer and knowledge in general. This is generally smaller scale stuff (the proverbial two man start up working out of some guy's apartment) and is fostered by the free exchange of ideas in and around the university community. These are incremental changes that start to build a wide base for certain industries, but often they result in big things: Google in Larimer, 31 St Studios in the Strip, or UPMC... well, everywhere. The Politicians have a tough time with the non-traditional economic development as there's no building, sewer line, parking garage, or other bricks and mortar "thing" to point to and say "Hey! I helped with that; vote for me."

Which leads me to my point about PAT and Economic Development.

There are two ways that I see PAT influencing Economic Development in and around Allegheny County. First is the traditional way -- new infrastructure, transit lines, and bus routes allow new areas to open up for development and allow old, built up areas to grow without getting choked. Consider the Northshore as a new area and Oakland as a built up area. Through the Northshore connector (arguably), the Northshore becomes more closely integrated with Dowtown, allowing for expansion of the otherwise congested Golden Triangle. Transit in Oakland, meanwhile, reduces the need for space wasting parking garages and impossible to find street parking, thereby allowing more people to come into Oakland on a daily basis.

Which brings me to the second way that PAT can influence Economic Development: moving people around. Think about the late 28X bus route for a second. This route helped commute high wage earners from the Western suburbs into Downtown, while moving low wage earners from the inner city to retail jobs out in the suburbs. So, if a business has a reasonable access to high skilled workers from downtown or low skilled workers in the suburbs, the cost of doing business goes down for the business owner and the cost of being employed goes down for the employee.

So, here's my question: is PAT leading in economic development or is it following?

Let's go back to the Northshore and Oakland again. While the Northshore Connector concept goes back to the days of Skybus, it didn't really get its legs until Stadiums (Stadii?) were already being built. Clearly, PAT was reacting to a development opportunity, rather than using it's resources to help make the site more attractive. Similarly, Oakland is bursting at the seams nearly 20 years after the Spineline concept was proposed. Because of the fear of the cost involved in such an expensive undertaking, PAT is proceeding down a more cautious "Bus Rapid Transit" model, instead of something more integrated with the existing T-Line or at least something off of the existing right-of-ways.

It seems to be a case of institutional myopia. PAT is, in a sense, the one Economic Development engine that straddles both the City and the County. Indeed, it's very presence has a huge impact on the flow of commerce in the region, its air quality, equal opportunities for employment access, physical linkages, site development, and so on and so forth. It is, however, run very much like a bus company. Which is a shame, as there's a real opportunity here to think of PAT as something more than just a conveyor of people and a place for smelly college students to complain.

What is to be done? I'm not sure. Certainly, one of the basic changes that need to be made is to try to see the Port Authority as more than a bus company at the State and Municipal level. Transit Oriented Development (TOD) and Transit Revitalization Investment Districts (TRIDs - a type of TIF area around transit nodes) need to be integrated into the Port Authority's long range plans, rather than a mere afterthought. If this is already happened, PAT is certainly not keeping it a good secret.

In the end, a Port Authority that's thinking about more than transit, but how the Region develops around transit will be a better Port Authority.

Local Man Doesn't Understand Why Government Project Isn't Done Already

Amid news that the Port Authority is mere weeks away from completing the much touted (and much maligned) North Shore Connector, local man Ron Seibert held a press conference today decrying the fact that it was taking so long.

Flanked by a contingent from the Pittsburgh Myopticon Society, Mr. Seibert vented his frustrations to reporters.

"The Port Authority has been working on the North Shore Connector since 1994. What's the friggin' hold up already? Why didn't this get done, like 10 years ago. Seriously, how hard is it to dig a hole?"

Mr. Seibert's views were shared by others in the audience.

"You know, for all the time they have spent digging the tunnel, they could have extended the light rail to where I live in McMurray," said a Mr. Rod Davis. "I mean, that's like a piece of cake; it's like right there".

The multi-million dollar project has come under fire since its initial planning phase in the 1990s, with many people referring to it as a "boondoggle" or a "tunnel to nowhere".

PAT project engineer Hubert F. Horder defended the project.

"These things take time. It's not like we have some sort of magic wand here at the Port Authority. We can't just make a wish, and suddenly plans and specifications and rights-of-way and materials suddenly appear. We don't have a genie that grants exceptions from EPA requirements or a fairy that gives us DoT fund. We don't pounce around on unicorns singing 'La-De-Da-De-Da-De-Dah!' nakedly dancing around a magic fire while elves and dwarves do our bidding! We're Engineers and Accountants and Bureaucrats dammit! We don't even know what magic is!"

Mr. Horder's explanation, however did not sway Mr. Seibert.

"Even though I have no idea how Federal funding allocations, geology, or transportation engineering works, I'll bet me and my brother Steve could have had that extension up and running in like a week and a half".

Going off the Rails

Riffing off of what Rear Adm. Briem (Ret.) had to say about what Diana Nelson Jones had to say about the T today, I think it's interesting to consider the map that Chris posts:

OK, maybe half a map. Moving on...

Now, I don't like being a technological determinist (I think of it as lazy sociology), but on some level I'm a materialist and I believe that our societal condition is reflective of real, tangible things and not just some aethereal Hegelian Thesis. So, I will readily accept that things like the automobile, highways, two car garages, etc. changed the way we approached urban planning. If there's any doubt as to the impact of the automobile on the development of Western Pennsylvania, ask yourself if places like Cranberry, Monroeville, or Robinson Township would even begin to approach their current scale without it.

So, let's step back and consider, for a moment, how the urban fabric would be different if the above map had actually played out. Let's assume, therefore, that by 1985, the entire rapid rail system would have been built, stretching from nearly Armstrong County to the Greater Pittsburgh Airport.

If you read the transportation plan you'll notice two things immediately. First, while it notes that Pittsburgh's population has dipped slightly and is trending downwards, it predicts that the population will move out to the suburbs and the county trend will be a 50% increase in population over the next 15 years. Second, the study believe that the current trends in employment will remain more or less constant all through 1985.

(You may take a good hearty laugh right now.)

OK, so that didn't work out too well, but the planners of the day didn't know that yet. It does note, however, that there's a trend towards personal automobile ownership, but I'm not quite sure it grasped the full magnitude of what was about to happen.

Now, the map above is a little blurry, but there are 8 major corridors: Ohio River, North Hills, Allegheny Valley, Wilkinsburg-East Hills, Monongahela Valley (really the lower East End), Pleasant Hills (really the Mon Valley), South Hills, and the West End. All of these corridors focus in on Downtown, in the wheel & spoke model that Pittsburgh's bus riders are familiar with.

Interestingly, the report suggests that the Downtown to Monroeville Transit Route would be the most used, followed by a route to Route 19 and Castle Shannon, while more people would head towards the County Airport than Greater Pittsburgh International Airport. Highest priorities, then, were the route from Downtown to Monroeville, from the North Hills to South Hills, then to the County Airport.

I guess in some sense, the report was generally correct: the Monroeville Route is pretty much the existing East Busway and the Castle Shannon Route is pretty much the existing T-Line.

But what was not really predicted was the expansion Northward and Westward. The report notes that the demand to go to the Airport was minimal at best. Also, Oakland is presented almost as an afterthought to the planning, with so-called "knowledge economy" still being years after the impending collapse of the steel industry.

Also not taken into consideration is the racial migration and segregation patterns that fully took hold in the '60s. The Civic Arena had already been built, but the Middle and Upper Hill still had some life left in them.

What would a rapid transit enabled City of Pittsburgh look like then?

I think in some sense it would, from a distance, look much the same: the patterns of development (Robinson and Cranberry excepted) are served mostly by the East Busway, T-Line, and North Hills HOV Lane. The creation of a single rapid transit system would have probably caused those areas, particularly Monroeville, to concentrate into more densely organized enclaves to take advantage of the proximity of rail stations. Ergo, I believe that the Miracle Miles Shopping Center would have been more of a Miracle Acre. If you take a look at the development in the South Hills where the T did in fact go, you see fairly concentrated development (although this could also be explained by the tight topography of the area), which sort of backs up this suspicion.

If a line had gone out West towards the airport, however, we would have seen a much different pattern than what we have now. Robinson and South Fayette would not have slouched all over the airport area and people would stop complaining about commuting into Downtown through the Fort Pitt tunnel, because of all the people coming in from Robinson and South Fayette. It might have actually been a halfway decent place to live.

I also imagine that places like East Liberty and Homewood would have not suffered as sharp a decline over the last 40+ years, as these difficult-to-access neighborhoods would have been tied into a larger transit network capable of disbursing residents throughout the county. Perhaps that might have convinced transportation planners that stupid roads like the Mon-Fayette Expressway wouldn't really be needed.

Downtown and the surrounding areas would have probably benefited from the cheap, quick transportation and companies that would eventually seek new office space would seek to be if not in or near downtown then along one of the transit arteries. If anything, the oil crunch in the '70s would have made such sites much more valuable.

This assumes that the population trends remained the same and that by the mid 1980s, with the collapse of the Steel Industry, the City fathers didn't just throw up their hands and give up on the lines (which is some sense, they did). Not addressed in the plan, of course, are former industry site like the South Side and Hazelwood, one of which, today, is booming while the other remains stagnant. Because it would have been less accessible, I could see that the South Side may have lost it's trendy character to areas like Uptown, which would have been easier to access by the student populations.

Anyway, this is all just a big old thought experiment which needs more than just three glasses of cheap red wine to fully hash out. Planning for such a large project with a large time horizon is hearly impossible. In reality we're kinda stuck with what we got.

Until the Port Authority develops time travel.

The Road Goes Ever On and On

If you were chained up in Joe Grata's basement this week, you probably saw this story coming out of Harrisburg:

Gov. Tom Corbett signaled that a new transportation funding bill is not a top priority for his administration this year and questioned the effect of proposed new fees on the state's brittle economy.

In remarks after a speech to the national Waterways Symposium Downtown, Mr. Corbett said he would "take a look" at any transportation bills proposed this year but that they would battle for attention with measures on school vouchers and Marcellus Shale regulations. He said transportation might have to take a back seat, especially because the Legislature's current session is only half finished...

Repeated studies show the state's transportation infrastructure to be in worsening condition, too: It has 8,000 miles of poor roads, 5,000 structurally deficient bridges, 650 weight-restricted spans and another 50 that have closed. Leaders of the Port Authority also have warned of a "death spiral" of continuing service cuts, fare increases and layoffs if there is no state action.

Mr. Corbett said he was aware of the transit concerns affecting the greater Pittsburgh and Philadelphia regions -- as well as other parts of the state -- but wanted to fully study long-term funding of the transit systems and other infrastructure needs."

That all makes sense, of course, I mean when you're in the midst of an economic downturn, why should you spend more on services that people aren't going to use because they're in the middle of an economic downturn? I mean, it would be like a child's parents investing in his/her education when they are poor! What good will any personal improvement do, if you're already shit out of luck? That doesn't make any sense, now does it?

Moreover, why should we be investing in roads and bridges and mass transportation anyway? It's not like there are any goods that we're transporting and there aren't jobs for people to get to. Unemployed people don't need to take a bus from their bed to their couch. If anything, we should be reducing our level of service to match what the market says we need.

And moreover moreover, it's not like Corbett is a big ol' dummy. He knows that if he lets the Demmycrats in the State Legislature pass any sort of bill in the next year and the economy happens to pick up, people are going to get the stupid idea that it was the left-liberals in Harrisburg who caused a recovery, not their God fearing Governor. Even worse, they might actually go out and vote for more of those yahoos! That would be awful.

No, the Governor is right on; we need a Marcellus Shale based economic policy, one that will provide jobs right now in the energy industry, as well as future jobs in the soon to be fast growing environmental reclamation, cancer research, and hazardous material disposal industries.

It only makes sense, especially if you don't really think about it too hard.

On Transportation (On Donner, On Blitzen)

And so while I was hung over from turkey (and about three bottles of Bordeaux), Jon Schmitz wrote a nice little positive article on the North Shore Connector in the PG. I wouldn't go so far to say that this is a fluff piece, but it is comparable to what I regularly find in my bellybutton.

It's not that I have a problem with the North Shore Connector, in concept. Indeed, high speed dedicated mass transportation should be provided to as many Pittsburgh neighborhoods and outlying suburbs as possible in order to enhance interconnectivity between communities. The NSC (as I will now call it after a further bottle of Bordeaux), however, goes about it in a rather ham-handed way.

To the points raised in Senor (because my computer won't let me put a "~" over the "n") Schmitz's article:

(1) Is this a subway train to nowhere?

Schmitz argues no: this is a line that complements development already underway. While this may be true, the NSC seems to half ass it.

First, while the line does reach into the North Shore, it doesn't reach into the North Side. The City has already invested many millions of dollars in the adjacent neighborhoods of Manchester, Allegheny West, and Central North Side, but they don't get to appreciate a T-stop unless they walk under a highway, down a cavern, past the river Styx, fight a legion of rabid monkeys... etc. While they train doesn't go nowhere, it doesn't exactly go *somewhere*.

Second, if you look at the flyover ramp next to the casino, it seems very difficult to imagine how this line will eventually go *somewhere*... like, say, to the airport. I mean, if it went underground, paralleling the Northshore Expressway or event the CSX lines, servicing Manchester, Marshall-Shadeland, Brighton Heights, etc., I could see opportunities for future expansion, but it sort of stops and runs right into the casino. And, while I am no expert of Real Estate acquisition, I would think that this would be a problem.

It's like PAT is planning on a 100 year time horizon in which the Morlocks have risen from under the earth and have destroyed everything in their path, at which time the Port Authority can extend light rail service to Findley Twp. Unless you're a forward thinking Morlock, this doesn't make a lot of sense.

(2) Can they afford it?

The question is wrong. It isn't really "Can PAT afford it" but rather, "does it provide a net benefit to the region?"

I would say no.

Rather than connecting, say, the two of the most commercially developed areas in the state (Downtown and Oakland), PAT has decided to connect the 2nd most commercially developed areas in the state with a slight outlying area to the 2nd most commercially developed area in the state.

That doesn't make a lot of sense to me, especially considering that the East Busway was designed to be eventually converted into light rail and could relatively easily be repurposed to that end.

Now, I may be completely hammered on a mixture of Cabernet Sauvignon and Sam Adams, but it doesn't really seem that the Port Authority is really keyed into the long term economic development plans of the City of Pittsburgh. While service to the Northshore is nice and all, (as built) it doesn't really serve a long term economic development strategy. Rather it seems to advance a bureaucratic fetish to build stuff because money is available and stuff needs to be built.

I mean, I hope that I'm proved wrong and that come April Steve Bland will announce an multi-billion dollar project to connect the airport to Oakland. I will not, however, be holding my breath.

Open Letter to the Transportation Security Administration

Dear Ballgrabbers,

Look, I get it: the world is a scary, scary place full of people that want to kill us, blow us up, and generally make us stay at home in pants wetting terror. I know this because I've sat through several Michael Bay movies, and I can say without fear of contradiction: that man wants to hurt America.

But seriously, are you really protecting the country, or are you just overreacting in the hopes that doing something, anything will look better than doing nothing? The bad guys are always going to be trying to find new and exciting ways of causing mayhem. It's what they do; it's in the job description. That doesn't mean, however, that wildly flailing at "security steps to take" is going to solve anything.

As much as I love the choice between getting groped by a balding, middle aged agent or getting a cancer inducing picture of my junk, it's really a false choice. You can have security without having to be molested in public. It's in the Constitution... not the "junk" bit, they took that out... but the searching and seizing, yes. And, even though it doesn't say it, I would think that the "in public" bit has got to be implied.

I mean, even Michael Jackson and the Catholic Clergy had the good sense to keep that kind of molesting crap secret.

I'd like to believe that you don't want to do this. I know the deal with bureaucracies: some guy up in middle management has decided that everyone's doing Policy X now, and he's managed to convince his superiors of the same. Now you have to fondle the sweaty balls of some overweight tourist from Des Moines, and he's back in the nice, non-ball grabbing office trying to figure out if the TSA can get passengers to willingly stow themselves in 3 by 3 foot cubes... you know... for safety. I'd also like to believe that you hate this guy and would easily give him a *cough* more thorough examination if you ever had the chance.

But, of course, when you find that single 4 oz of Listerine that some housewife has kiestered in the hopes of having good, fresh breath when she lands, we'll know that all the violations of our persons were well worth it.

Until the bad people think of something even more clever.

Me, I'm taking the train.

Sincerely,

-O
The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat

Security Administration to Begin Driver Pat Downs

(Reuters) Washington D.C. - Transportation Security Administrator John S. Pistole has announced that the TSA will begin random pat-downs of drivers of U.S. drivers for "security purposes."

"We're clearly concerned about weapons, bombs, poisons, water bottles, lipstick, and nail clippers being brought on board civilian aviation craft, but until now, there's been a blind spot in our terrestrial transportation security. This blind spot ends today."

Changes are the result of a routine traffic stop in West Hackensack NJ, when a driver was pulled over under the suspicion of carrying a 4 ton nuclear warhead in his Mazda Miata. Mr. Pistole said that, while the resulting strip search and grope-fest resulted in nothing more conclusive than a three year old Malo Cup, this doesn't mean that the American public shouldn't be terrified.

"Sure, there's one guy in Hackensack that didn't have a bomb... this time. But there are hundreds of other automobiles that could potentially be carrying something lethal: a bomb, anthrax, gasoline... We need to search ever car. You know: for safety."

Road checks will be placed at random intervals along major US highways. Drivers can opt for a "backscatter" radiation scan or a mechanic can disassemble your car by the side of the road. Delays to drivers are not expected to exceed 12 hours per check. Drivers will also be subjected to personal examinations, the results of which will be forwarded to your primary care physician at no extra charge.

Local reaction was mixed to the news.

"I'm not sure how I feel about this," said Betty Cunningham of Blawnox. "Sure, I think that it's a dehumanizing violation of our civil liberties, but on the other hand, I'm really scared of Muslims."

UPDATE: Drivers should be aware that a man in a white tank top and blue cuttoffs seen lurking at the North Somerset rest stop is not an authorized TSA agent. Drivers should not allow him to perform pat downs, no matter how many badges he shows you.

Build a Bridge Out of Her!

When I go for local transportation news, I got to The Pitt News:

The Bates Street bridge is a notorious traffic problem that causes tie-ups that can sometimes stretch for miles. Drivers of standard-sized, 13-feet-6-inch tractor-trailers, often realize too late that they can’t make the 11-foot-6-inch clearance and subsequently scrape the top of their vehicles. But after decades of commercial vehicle accidents, the city expects to replace the battered bridge this summer.

Using $3.6 million of city, state and federal funds, the city will replace the old railroad bridge with a taller, wider bridge, said Chuck McClain, the city’s project manager for bridges and structures. The new bridge will accommodate the proposed Mon/Fayette Expressway into Oakland — and 17-foot-6-inch tall trucks.

Bridge construction was supposed to start this spring, but conflicting requirements of two federal funding sources pushed back the construction. McClain said in a follow-up e-mail that he hopes construction will begin in mid-summer.

Take that Joe Grata!

Now, not having seen the plans I can only speculate*, but the one thing that I'd really like to see is...well...

Awhile back I complained (or at least I think that I complained) about the Walnut Capital project along Brownshill Road, on the Pittsburgh side of the Homestead Grays Bridge. After all the work done by the City on Summerset to make it an "Urban Neighborhood", Walnut Capital threw up (pun intended) what amounts to a strip mall. To make matters worse, as part of a widening of Brownsville Road (obviously so that more "husky" folk can make their way to the all-you-can-eat seafood place in the stripmall), the City tore down the old stone retaining wall on the Eastern edge of the road.

I am by no means a luddite or a historic preservationist zealot, so I can appreciate that sometimes the old needs to get torn down and replaced with the new. However, in this case, and in the case of the West Busway along Carson Street, the decision to tear down these old retaining walls seems to detract from the City's industrial history. I mean, there's no way that anyone ever is going to build those types of walls again; the masonry skill alone is something that very few people have, with the exception of a few little old Italian guys in Bloomfield. That makes it all the more important to try to save these monumental walls whenever possible.

How does this tie into the Bates Street bridge? Well, at some point, in order to open up the Northern section of the ALMONO site a similar wall will have to be torn down. Across 2nd Avenue, you have a patchwork of block, concrete, and fake-block concrete holding back the Jail-Trail. While it may be more difficult, it would be great to find a way to reuse this old wall, and rebuild and refurbish the existing wall so it (1) reflects the historic character of that place and (2) makes it look less sad and pathetic. If the City is looking to rebuild this bridge, it should seriously take into account the historicity of the place.

---
* My guess is that, like the Hot Metal connecting bridge, this will be a prefab steel structure to hasten the demolition of the existing bridge and the completion of the new bridge.

MVX Episode VII: Blue Harvest

In what surely is one of the penultimate nails in the coffin of the Mon-Fayette Expressway:

The Mon-Fayette Expressway might never reach Pittsburgh, now that the Pennsylvania Turnpike Commission no longer is pursuing private investors.

The $4.5 billion estimate for the remainder of the project includes connecting to the Parkway East in Monroeville and in Hazelwood, but the price tag is too steep for state funding, officials said. And three companies interested in "public-private partnerships" to build the remainder of the highway — in exchange for toll revenue — couldn't raise enough private funding either, said Frank Kempf, the turnpike's chief engineer, during a meeting Thursday in Washington County...

The turnpike decided in late January to stop pursuing partners for the project. Unless state or federal legislators find new funding to design and build the remaining links to Pittsburgh, the future of the project remains unknown...

And hopefully by "unknown" they mean 'buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighter', all of which is fine by me; the project (especially the last 10 miles) is beyond ridiculous from an engineering standpoint, would disrupt communities, and frankly bring little benefit to the Pittsburgh of the 21st century.

The collapse of the housing industry only serves to undermine one of the main "benefits" of the project: the opening up of greenfields to the south of the City to more suburban subdivisions.

Anyway, here's a novel (or at least what passes for novel around these parts) idea, spurred by a musing by Rear Adm. Briem (Ret.):

[A]t the end of the day the foundation of the East Busway was engineered with the intent that rail of some sort could be built along the corridor... Once you take out folks who can't travel by car either because of income or for other reasons, folks who have a choice will take rail who won't ever consider taking a bus.

Indeed, when the busway expansion was planned in the late '90s/early '00s, the folks in Edgewood raised holy hell that damned dirty buses would pass through their gentile community.

Now, I understand why PAT *lurves* its busway and while associated municipal entities/political mucky-mucks also *lurve* in a way that is frankly illegal in most countries, but there is a case to be made for (1) converting at least part of the busway to light rail and (2) using the existing CSX tracks to serve Oakland/Hazelwood/Homestead and eventually beyond. While the upfront capital cost may be high (and the negotiations with CSX may be ridiculous), a dedicated right-of-way would connect downtown, the universities, one of the largest brownfield development opportunities in the City, a fairly successful brownfield redevelopment, and a few muncipalities that really need improved transportation connections to all of them.
Peduto had pushed a somewhat similar heavy rail project back in '08, but it hasn't seems to have gone anywhere; the ACCD is pushing a fixed guideway (which would be a fourth mode of transit, for those of you keeping track). There's something to be said, however, about keeping with what you have and expanding a system.

While, yes, the SPC came out almost kinda-sorta-but-not-quite for this plan (warning: big file), the proposed alternative was, I would say, a bit grandiose and chose to build an extensive system from Etna to West Mifflin, creating a new line through the Strip District, rather than recycle what already exists. There's *big thinking* and there's *over thinking*. Interestingly enough, the major complaint was that they looked at the new line as something to help supplement existing transit oriented development, while ignoring the possibility that it could potentially help to generate transit oriented development. That seems to be *small thinking* or at least *narrow* thinking.

Of course, the benefits of this type of project would acrue, not to the suburbs, but to the City which could now easily connect future lab space in Hazelwood with the professors in Oakland and the banks downtown. That kind of forward thinking is something up with which the legislature does not put. And to make it worse, we'd be severely conveniencing people in the Mon Valley, making their trip to work or school easier, quicker, and more enjoyable. The horror!

If the MFX is well and truly dead (and I hope it is), now is really the time to start planning its alternative. Perhaps what PAT and the folks at the DoT really need is a big ol' money sink. If that's the case, I'm more than happy to amend my proposal to call for the boring of a giant tunnel under the Mon to waste a few billion here and there.

The Midnight Train to Nowhere

Hey there boy! Is this the Pennsylvanian station?

No, sadly:

The White House today released the list of high-speed rail projects that will share $8 billion in stimulus funds, and, as expected, Western Pennsylvania was largely shut out.

Other than funding for a study of high-speed trains between Pittsburgh and Harrisburg, most of the funds for the Northeast involved improving existing services between major cities. A total of $27 million will be dedicated to improving the Philadelphia-to-Harrisburg rail line, with an expected $750,000 of that for a study on extending that service to Pittsburgh eventually.

Pity that.

Now, this actually makes sense in the grand scheme of things: the "Keystone" plan is to link Pittsburgh with Harrisburg and Pittsburgh with Washington, which, if you've ever taken the Turnpike eastwards, you'll know are very difficult corridors from a civil engineering standpoint. Reinforcing the Harrisburg/Philadelphia corridor does make sense if the administration needs a proof of concept project, so I won't begrudge them for it.

Now, stepping back for a moment: it's only a one hour, forty-five minute drive from the Harrisburg Amtrak station to the Philadelphia Amtrak station. Assuming that most of that is highway (and uncluttered with traffic) and you'd be doing the speed limit, if the "High-Speed" trains are doing 100 mph, you'd see a one way trip taking about 45 minutes or so. (I have in on authority that it currently takes about an hour at the less than "high speed" speeds.) I'm not sure what the threshold Philadelphians have for their maximum commute times, but that's not outside the realm of possibility, I suppose, so Harrisburg could be reasonably considered a commuter suburb for Philadelphia. The MARC system, by contrast, extends from Washington D.C. to Martinsburg, WV, which is an hour and thirty-six minutes drive time; there's a station out there, so obviously Martinsburg, WV is also being used as a commuter suburb. If the same kinds of metrics were used in Pittsburgh (admittedly a smaller market), we'd be seeing long commuter trains from Cleveland, Erie, Greensburg, Johnstown, etc.

What's missing, however, is a good mid-to-local rail service: service to the Airport, to Etna, to Monroeville and service to Shadyside, Hazelwood, Manchester, Sheraden, and Banksville. These bit and pieces are actually far more important to the economic health of the region than the long commute line. You see, while the Port Authority has invested heavily in bus service, there is something different about local rail service; bus routes can change tomorrow; rail is permanent. The development of local rail corridors for medium range trips and light rail for intercity trips provides a focus for future development plans. A line from the airport to downtown to oakland will establish a permanent transit corridor and pretty much force developers to concentrate development close to stations, if they want to benefit from them.

In essence, the transportation planning bodies are establishing future, long term investment areas. Now I wonder if the folks at PAT consider this when they are making their investment choices or if they are getting much input from local economic development agencies. It would seem that there's no reason to do any of that, as no one is making them do it and it is not within their core competency.

But one day, hopefully everyone will start working together and I'll be able to jump on the T at 10 AM, make it to the noon meeting in DC, and be back in time for tea in Oakland.

A girl can dream, can't she?

Something About Where the Choo-Choo Goes

The city's newspaper of record finally caught up with its not-being-sued-by-Mylan rival and published a story about last week's East End Rail proposal to Council, which can be found here in all of its sic transit gloria.

This proposal is appealing in that it seeks to do with 80 million bucks what the North Shore connector is trying to do with a zillion-bagillion bucks, which makes the calculations so much easier for those of us that don't have advanced degrees in hyper-imaginary accounting. There's a couple of problems in the proposal, however.

First (and this is kind of addressed in the presentation), this proposal seems to be a bit like renting out a semi in order to haul a credenza a block and a half to your new apartment -- heavy rail is sort of overkill for such a short service area. Now, if the line went all the way up north to Indiana County or south to the Mon Valley, maybe these stops would make sense, but it currently seems a bit much. In the proposal's defense, it does say that the line should link up with other proposed lines, which makes much more sense. Indeed, if you're going to have this type of system, we should be thinking about using other heavy rail lines to create a network of suburban commuter opportunities, use light rail as "high speed intra-city connectivity," and use buses as local connectors. Heavy rail, however, doesn't seem to be the right tool for a relatively small service area with frequent stops.

Of course, this gets to the second critique: the proposal isn't easily connected into the existing systems. If you want to get Downtown, you need to jump off and take another mode of transportation. While Oakland may be "bursting at the seams," Downtown is still the major commercial nexus for the region. Perhaps this criticism is a moot point, as it's fairly easy right now to get from Oakland/Lawrenceville/Hazelwood to Downtown anyway. Without expansion, however, I wonder if it makes sense to add in a fourth public transportation option into the mix, with all the extra overhead costs that may entail.

Then there's RIDC's Bill Widdoes' quote, "CSX is a tough negotiator," which has to be competing with "Water is wet" for the understatement of the year award. CSX, it is widely known, doesn't want to deal with anyone, ever. Even simple "rails-to-trails" project on defunct lines get tied up in years of legal morass. Cities, States, Authorities have no eminent domain powers over rail lines, so it's nearly impossible to get anything done on the local level without begging, borrowing, or stealing (although it's usually limited to only the first one). IF CSX signs on (and it's a big "if"), maybe there's something to the proposal, but right now I'm not holding my breath.

[This all sets aside the logistical nightmare of passenger rail sharing a line with freight rail should CSX actually agree to the proposal.]

And then there's the giant elephant in the room: the Mon-Fayette expressway. I can't imagine that Whitman, Requardt & Associates didn't notice that their proposed alignment runs right through where the folks at PennDOT and the Turnpike Commisssion really, REALLY want to lay their pipe dream down. (I mean, you can almost hear their angry, frantic, disappointing mutual masturbation when you get near the former LTV site, so much so that it causes cats to yowl.) Now, don't get me wrong: this is a great alternative to the MFX circle jerk, but with bureaucratic processes and political weightiness being what they are, I can see the whole process being stopped because somebody, somewhere wants to build a fifty-gazillion dollar clusterfuck along the Mon, goddammit!

Obviously, however, this is just a proposal, but it's probably one of the least insane proposals to come before City Council in some time and it would be a good first step in creating a high-speed, integrated regional transit solution.

Which means, of course, that the whole damned thing is doomed from the get-go.

PAT Announces New 9000 ALL Line

As part of its new Transit Development Plan, Port Authority CEO Steve Bland today announced at a news conference the creation of the new 9000 ALL line which will service every neighborhood in the City of Pittsburgh.  

After two years of planning, thousands of comments from the public and numerous meetings with community and business groups, Port Authority is ready to share the proposed final draft of its Transit Development Plan, the result of our efforts to service every neighborhood and every street in the City of Pittsburgh

The line will begin in Summer Hill on the Northside, and take a route that wanders through the neighborhood, into Observatory Hill, and then through the remaining 80 neighborhoods, ending in New Homestead, where the bus will turn around and begin the route in reverse. The length of the entire trip is expected to take three days, but will be a one-zone fair.

"Our goal," said Bland, "is to ensure that everyone has access to transit options everywhere in the City."

Some riders groups are protesting that the new 9000 ALL does not service the stairs and paper streets, which dot the City landscape. Bland said that PAT is already working on plans for a 10,000 Up/Down and an i Line, to meet both needs.

PAT is also expected to announce a 10,000,000 ALL Line, which will service every road in the County. That route is expected to take a month from end to end.

More details tomorrow (or not)

G-20 and Traffic

In the P-G, Michael Fuoco posits the question "Could yesterday's traffic jam be a harbinger of G-20 problems?"

The short answer is yes. The long answer is HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER YES!

If you've tried to get in touch with pretty much anyone on the service side of City government for the last few weeks, you may have noticed that they seem to be rather busy. Almost as if they were distracted by some upcoming, city-wide event. This isn't to say that regular services (pavings, repairs, Redd-up crew, etc.) are being ignored, just that city employees seem to be pulling double duty.

Now, I mention this because public safety has some prep work to do too, but the bulk of their work will come at the end of September. What that "work" actually entails will be pretty much anyone's guess, but will almost assuredly involve some sort of to-be-determined restriction on Downtown. Where and when that will happen is still anyone's guess at this point, but if I had to hazard a guess, one probably won't be able to get north beyond Forbes Avenue, east past Market Square, or west past 16th Street. Unfortunately, there are probably only one or two folks at DPS that actually know these particulars, if that, and the details will definitely not be shared with the general public until right up to the event.

So, I'm predicting that, unless there's a general order to stay the hell home, it's going to be nearly impossible to get in or out of Downtown, except by foot, bike, roller skate, or possibly trebuchet.

(I'd wouldn't go by trebuchet though, considering that Downtown is going to be one massive no fly area, and I'd hate to be intercepted by a couple of F-10s.)

And that's just the *security* restrictions; it doesn't include organized (and unorganized) street protests that may also restrict movement in the rest of Downtown.

If there is a bright spot out of all of this it's that because of Pittsburgh's odd geography, it's going to be really easy for people in places like Troy Hill, Beltzhoover, or Elliot to sucker out-of-town hippie protesters into renting rooms that are "only a mile away" from Downtown.

Of course, the last thing I need on my commute that week is tailgating a bunch of lost hippies carrying giant paper maché puppets.

Casino News Cycle

Well, when I saw this I was pretty pissed:

Cyclists who endured the lengthy closure of the trail during the casino's construction were upset to learn, over the weekend, that they had to walk their bikes in front of the slots venue...

"Many folks in the bicycle community are upset, as well they should be, because that trail should be a point where people can continue to bike," said [Pittsburgh Mayor Luke] Ravenstahl. "I would say that we share the frustration of the cyclist community with that issue. It was our understanding that that would be an area where cyclists could continue to bike.

"We're going to work with the casino to try to get that rectified."

Casino spokesman Dan Fee said he was aware of the restriction, but did not know if it is temporary or permanent. Nor did he have any immediate information regarding the reason for the restriction.

"It is private property," he said. "I don't know what the substance of their complaint is."

While not the "substance" of the complaint, I would say that the "spirit" of the complaint is that there's a fucking God-awful parking garage/casino that's been built on the North Side over the heads of residents of the neighborhood and of the City and one which is just going to exacerbate social and economic problems in order to shave a few dimes off of Fox Chapel property tax bills. Casino owners not allowing people egress across a property that's supposedly a vehicle for public tax relief seems down right hypocritical and also anathema to the recent spirit of opening up the riverfronts for public use.

[Jumps off soapbox and regains composure.]

If this is not just a temporary situation, I'd say that the folks over at Bike Pittsburgh should mobilize their membership and their friends and have them all park their bikes in each individual space in the garage.

UPDATE:

After cyclists complained about the walk-your-bikes restrictions, Mr. Onorato's Special Projects Coordinator Darla Cravotta today called casino Community Relations Manager George Matta. "George told us that they are going to change the sign that's there," said county spokesman Kevin Evanto "to something along the lines of, 'Please proceed with caution.' "

Well, alright then. Glad that's solved.

Train of Thought

The Burgh Diaspora has a nice little post about the Amtrak high-speed rail plan and how it relates to the Burgh.

Pittsburgh is increasingly isolated. The historical geography of the region lends itself to a particularly fierce form parochialism and is partly to blame for anemic in-migration. Pittsburgh desperately needs to improve its inter-urban connectivity, especially with cities outside of the United States. Domestically, which high-speed rail route would best benefit Pittsburgh?

Paz chips in his two cents:

No one is going to admit it, but Cleveburgh is probably a more important line than the Keystone corridor (and this is coming from someone who goes East far more often then he goes West). A Cleveland-Pittsburgh line is more in keeping with the major city-paring lines like the Hiawatha in Milwaukee or the Lincoln service in Illinois. Keystone makes more sense politically, but I think Cleveburgh makes more sense from an economic and cultural standpoint.

Actually, it's surprising that Jason Altmire is pushing the Cleveland/Pittsburgh corridor.

No, wait... what's the opposite of surprising? Yeah: obvious.

I mean, Altmire gets that there's a Regional connection between Cleveland and Pittsburgh... and that if this rail line is built, PA-04 is going to benefit enormously, not just from the construction itself but also from the competition/collaboration that can result between the two Regions.

Amtrak, of course, believes that because we are in Pennsylvania, we're obviously to be lumped in with Philadelphia.* While to some extent there may be some truth to that, there will probably be less Regional cross-pollination.

What Altmire has the opportunity to do, however, is make Pittsburgh a major transit node, linking Chicago and the Midwest with Phillie, D.C. and the East... you know, like Switzerland.

Or Breezewood.

---
* Amtrak is obviously unaware of the existence of the Great Pop/Soda War of '19, between the East and Midwest, in which the loser got Pittsburgh.**

** This is a joke. The loser got Toledo.***

*** This is also a joke. It was the Toledo War.

How Many Roads?

OK, this pisses off my highly honed sense of order:

The Parkway West from the Fort Pitt Tunnel to Interstate 79 has been redesignated as Interstate 376, the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation announced today.

Its former designation as Interstate 279 now applies only to the Parkway North.

I-376 now stretches from the Pennsylvania Turnpike in Monroeville to the I-79 interchange in Robinson. Eventually, PennDOT will extend I-376 along Routes 22, 30 and 60 on the Airport Expressway and Beaver Valley Expressway to Mercer County,

And here's why. From der Wikipedia:

Auxiliary Interstate Highways are circumferential, radial, or spur highways that principally serve urban areas. These types of Interstate Highways are given three-digit route numbers, which consist of a single digit prefixed to the two-digit number of a nearby primary Interstate Highway. Spur routes deviate from their parent and do not return, with a few exceptions; these are given an odd first digit. Circumferential and radial loop routes return to Interstate Highways, and are given an even first digit. Due to the large number of these routes, auxiliary route numbers may be repeated in different states along the mainline.

So, if you caught all that, PennDOT has assigned a circumferential route number to what will now be a spur route and a spur route number to what will eventually (I presume) be a circumferential route. Really the numbers should be changed to I-379 and I-276! They could have at least kept it I-279/I-376 to the I-79 interchange, rather than making a complete switch.

I mean, what the point of a system if you're just going to throw out numbers willy-nilly! Might as well just call the damned things "Interstate Sunday in the Park with George Wentz" and "Interstate Be like the seventh level donkey in space: PING!".

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles*

So, for those of you that are eagerly awaiting the next chapter in the continuing saga of transportation in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, there's this:

President Barack Obama today announced an ambitious plan to develop a network of high-speed passenger trains connecting American cities, comparing the program to former President Dwight D. Eisenhower's push to develop the interstate highway system.

Ten corridors, including one from Pittsburgh to Harrisburg and Philadelphia, were designated as eligible for some of the $13 billion in federal spending authorized in the economic stimulus legislation or proposed by Mr. Obama for high-speed rail development.

Am I the only one that sees Governor Edward G. Rendell and President Barack H. Obama pull up next to each other at a stop light, make eye contact, and rev their respective engines?

Frankly, my money is on Fast Eddie, especially on those S-curves outside of Breezewood.**

---
* Sorry, we lied about the planes.
** Unless it's going towards Harrisburg. No one intentionally speeds towards Harrisburg. Ever.

Trains, Trains, and Train-a-mobiles

OK, and there's this:

Tomorrow, Mr. Peduto plans to introduce legislation to spend $9,000 to study turning a freight line that runs from Hazelwood through Oakland to Lawrenceville into an artery for people. The study would lead to a proposal, submitted to U.S. Rep. Mike Doyle, D-Forest Hills, in the spring, for federal funding for the project...

That new economy, he said, is causing Oakland to bulge at the seams. A study drafted within the Allegheny Conference on Community Development in 2006 predicted a need for 3 million square feet of buildings in Oakland, and room for just 1 million square feet.

Already, many of the community conflicts in Shadyside, Bloomfield and Friendship stem from the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center's expansions.

A rail line operated by the Allegheny Valley Railroad cuts through the heart of Oakland. One end is conveniently near Carnegie Mellon University's National Robotics Engineering Center in Lawrenceville, and the other is right by the brownfields of Hazelwood's former LTV Coke Works site, now owned by a development entity backed by four local foundations.

Five complaints from this article and its cursory description of the plan:

First, this isn't a new idea. I'm pretty sure that either CMU or PAT still has the conceptual drawings from the 80s showing where a subway line was supposed to connect to Wean Hall.

Second, OK, it's great that someone is trying to connect Larryville to Hazelwood and all, but you'll have what amounts to a third public transit system (after buses and light rail) that you'll have to maintain. That doesn't seem all that efficient to me. Wouldn't it be better to integrate the system so that you could get from, say, the Northside to Oakland via Downtown without having to change buses/trains (I mean, without getting on any of the 500s)?

Third, what about that bane of Hazelwood's existence, the Mon-Fayette Excessway... er... Expressway? Obviously, the right-of-way of the Mo-Fo is going to impact the any existing or proposed rail right-of-way. Now, this may be a silly point, but until PennDOT and the Turnpike Commission crap or get off the pot, transportation development (and indeed any real development in the neighborhood) is a non-starter. Otherwise, you're going to end up sinking millions into a rail system, only have it ripped out for the Mon-Fayette... or not.

Fourth, no rail company is really going to want to share their line. Seriously. They're bastards like that.

Fifth, and this is my big point, as nice as it is to connect across the City, the line, it seems to me, doesn't really serve people the people that serve Oakland. Sure, you'll be able to get Doctors, Professors, Students, and Investors from one "New Economy" site to another, but you're not getting Janitors, Secretaries, Maintenance Workers, or even Phlebotomists from where they live to where they work. My sense is that those people are either coming from outside the City or from other neighborhoods that are not Lawrenceville or Hazelwood. Anybody who rides any of the 61, 71, or 100 bus lines would understand this.

Moreover, from what it sounds like, you're providing the residents of East Liberty, Homewood, Wilkinsburg, Swissvale and Rankin with the busway, but providing Lawrenceville, Oakland, and Hazelwood with heavy rail. That seems to be, well, discriminatory to me: one system for one set of neighborhoods, another system for the other.

[And, of course, Uptown, West Oakland, and the rest of the Hill District, all of which would seem to be logical places for the universities to expand into, are completely ignored.]

So, don't get me wrong: an integrated system that services Lawrenceville, Oakland, and Hazelwood is a good idea, however, a more foresighted approach would integrate the existing busway and the downtown lightrail systems, expand to include areas out towards the Turtle Creek Valley, and provide a non-highway alternative to the Mon-Fayette Expressway, possibly taking the line as far as the airport.

Or, alternatively, we can run a water taxi service to Oakland... but only during heary rain periods.

Monongahela Incline closed for computer problems

From the P-G:

The Port Authority's Monongaghela Incline between Carson Street and Grandview Avenue is closed today due to computer problems.

A Port Authority spokesman said shuttle buses are being used to transport passengers who normally take the incline.

The incline also is expected to be closed on Monday and shuttle service will be provided.

I can only assume that the Port Authority is using this time in an attempt to resurrect Charles Babbage in order to have him help clear some jammed punch cards.

But computer problems? Seriously? This thing used to run on friggin' steam, right? This is basically the same amazingly complex principle as a wheel and pulley, right? Where exactly are the computers entering into this?

Does this mean that there's some evil HAL 9000 like computer managing some complicated "car go up/car go down" program that the mission is too critical for humans to be in charge... or is it more likely that some PAT employee downloaded some sort of malware program while surfing for porn on the machine that's supposed to log their time sheets?

If the latter, I'd recommend not touching anything when you ride that thing next time.

ADB Guide to Coping with a Transit Strike

As you may or may not have heard, there is an increasingly large chance that the drivers of the Port Authority of Allegheny County may go on strike in the very near future. Other more sober folk can discuss the intricacies of the current union contract or the cost-benefits of public transportation, however, if you are reading this, you probably just want to know how you're going be able to get from your hovel in to your shift as night manager/senior cashier at Subway.

We here at TADB have repeatedly flogged our interns, and have come up with some alternatives to taking Public transit:

(1) Car - Let's face it, if a car was an option for you, you'd probably already be taking it instead of standing cheek to jowl on the bus between that sweaty fat guy in the bad suit and the sixteen year old that won't get off her damned cell phone. If this is not the case, however, I'm sure you'll be excited about your 40 minute 4 mile commute and stuffing a whole mess o' cash into the coffers at David Onorato's Parking Authority. Between that and the cost of fuel, you won't be able to afford to go to work anymore and will be forced to get another job to pay for the first one.

(2) Walking - This is probably the best option for most Pittsburghers who, by definition, haven't left their neighborhood since the Carter administration. I hear there's a woman in Bloomfield who still refuses to acknowledge that there's anything past the Bridge.

(3) Biking - If you are a young, hip urbanite who like careening through parked cars with no regard for things like personal safety and deductables, then biking is probably a pretty good choice. If you happen to live at the top of any number of hills around here and are not in peak physical condition, however, you might want to pack it in and setting up a campsite down in the flats. Trust me, living down by the river in a tent will be much less embarrassing than them finding your doughnut gorged, tiny spandex shorts clad corpse halfway up McArdle roadway.

(4) Telecommuting - If you are very, very lucky and have a white collar, wage slave job, telecommuting might be an option for you. Unfortunately, after a few days of the experience, you will quickly realize that such social niceties such as bathing, shaving, speaking English, or wearing clothes are no longer strict requirements. After a few weeks, you may find that you have no real need for civilization, resulting in a solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short existence... with only a millionaire, his wife, a movie star, a professor, and Mary Anne as your only companions. That, and you'll perpetuate the lie that Day Time television is worth anything more than a bucket of warm spit.

(5) Cannon - I haven't tried this on out yet, but I'm pretty sure with the right wind conditions and with the appropriate caliber gun, anyone can hit the Steel Building. The pain in the ass is the connecting cannon, if your destination is not downtown. Bring your own helmet.

(6) Catapult - See Cannon

(7) Helicopter/Airplane - Should this be an option for you, you probably have more money than sense. I would be perfectly happy with relieving you of this burden.

(8) Falcor - Lucky dragons are not native to this region and are considered impractical.

(9) Lawn Chair Lifted by Weather Balloons - Only viable if you have no particular destination in mind or enjoy being shot down by the U.S. Air Force.

(10) Carpooling - All the charms of a taxi combined with all the joys of being stuck at work with people you don't like.

(11) Hitchhiking - Adds the extra excitement of the possibility of becoming the inspiration for a particularly bloody episode of CSI.

(12) Rickshaw - Region is under served by the Japanese immigrant population necessary to make this possible.

(13) Hanglider - Silly, and possible target for commuters traveling by cannon.

So, there you go. Hopefully one of these suggestions will work for you. If not, you can always live underneath your office desk for the duration of the strike.

I already have my sleeping bag.