Wednesday, June 04, 2008
The morning of my 21st. Stuck on a train with 2 bottles of wine and reading a book that talks about an old man's last journey. The irony of it all may strike others but the tone of the book merely speaks of the last journey as something as worthwhile and vibrant as life. We often tink of the last leg of our lives as something scary and i still think it is, especially for people who know that their times on earth with their loved ones will not be long anymore and their lives start to slip out of their hands. Do we start to wither or strive harder to squeeze every moment we have left from people we love, from people we may come to know or pity us and from total strangers?
Probably, most people will choose to wither their last moments on earth away since they see no point in striving anyway. But, come to think of it, if you have the chance to know when you'll be leaving with time to settle your unfinished matters, it should be a bleassing in disguise i guess..
On to happier matters, i'm officially 21 this day! I had a wonderful dinner and a surprising present-ss from my immersion frens yesterday. They, spontaneously, gave me a bag of clothes for my b'day which consists of a shorts, a shirt and a singlet. Hahaz, that's not my present la! I knew mich and shimin went to get something but i was super amused all the same. Yea, i love the watch from fossils so thanks guys.
I remember one year ago, at this time, 930 am.. I am sitting in a classroom in France taking a placement test and starting a month in France that i will never forget and will always appreciate. The experience i had and the frens i make.. wad to say? I dunno.. They are a bunch of interesting people with different personalities.. the blur sotongs, the nice but crappy guys, the gals who dunno the back from the front of a rice cooker and washing machine.. And it has already been a year. A year which passed so quickly, with many things happening but felt as if nothing has really happened.
Do i feel older, with a greater sense of purpose and all? Not really, but i have started to pray quite a few times from the moment it struck 12 midnight to this morning.. thanking Him for being in my life, for bringing me to plmgss to know Him. Perhaps the reason for me going to the school that i went is for this. To know a bunch of people who has been and will be my source of support when i meet things that is too much for me to handle and people i will share my life with with things that warm my heart. To get to know that there's someone in this world that will care for me no matter how ugly my character is, how inept i may be in things that may appear otherwise to others. To learn to accept that things happen for a reason even if they may not happen for the reasons i want to. I should be glad and i am.
I can only hope that i will become someone of a greater character than i am now, reconcile with the doubts i have and love my family and frens more. That's my 21st wishes..or rather 21 years worth of wishes for today.
Till then.. perhaps when i'm 31, 41, 51...
Posted by Jessica at Wednesday, June 04, 2008