Schpeel

Currently, I'm on the 135th out of 248 episodes of Law & Order: SVU.

They are all on Netflix.

I am addicted.



And I have this memorized, of course:

In the criminal justice system, sexually-based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories. { DOINK DOINK }

I. am. awesome.

Also, I love Detective Elliot Stabler.

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This is Burke's favorite toy.

I don't even know why we have real toys.

So, if you have Burke's name for Christmas? It's the Kirby Floor Nozzle Sentria.

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So, like, a year ago? I was in my car opening up something with a leatherman knife. I can't remember what it was, but it had that hard plastic packaging around it, to prevent theft. (But there is no way you could bust open a package like that in a store without anyone seeing. I kind of sweat when I'm trying to open one of those packages.)

Anywho, I'm opening the package with my knife and I'm cutting away from me. But not away from my leg, because the knife slipped so fast off the plastic and went right into my thigh.


(Please excuse my white, meaty thigh.)
(This obviously wasn't in the summer and also before I started going to the gym.)

Anyway, after the knife went into my leg, I was TERRIFIED, because I had no idea how deep the knife went in. I had to wait about 10 seconds before the blood started to flow. It wasn't too much, so PHEW. I didn't have to drive myself to the ER with my 2 kids in the back.

(Side note: My dad did the exact same thing when I was 4 or 5 and he had to go to the hospital and get stitches. In my 4 or 5-year-old mind, I thought he was going to be handicapped forever.)

Has this story gone on long enough?

Well, I had a bruise (which you can kind of see in the above picture) for like, a GOOD 3 weeks.

And these are the jeans I was wearing when "The Great Knifing of Sometime-In-2010" happened. I like them.

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I don't know if I should admit this, because it's kind of white trash, but:

I FREAKING LOVE HOT DOGS!

Hot dogs are my favorite food. Right after sandwiches.

These are my new favorite. Johnsonville Spicy Hot Beef Links. Or something like that. OMG. I love them.

With a little red onion, mustard, tomatoes and some wickles pickles, which are the only pickles I'll eat. They're like a garlicky, spicy pickle. And they are SO good.

Now I want a hot dog.

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And to finish this post off? How about a fun little video!

To preface this video, Nate and Brett were at the Grand Canyon for 4 days and Burke and I were just hanging out at home. I think he missed Brett, because he didn't have anyone to pick on and had to get the energy out somehow AND GOT ALL CRAZY UP IN HERE.

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Did you get through all that?

If you did, wow! 302 gold stars for you!

Now go do yourself a favor and watch some SVU.

My Minion

If that doesn't make you smile, I don't know what will!

Have a great weekend!

Hooked

I've been making this fake ice cream every day.

It is sooooooo good.

And, there is no sugar in it. Bonus!

To make:
1 slightly ripe banana, frozen. Frozen real good.
unsweetened cocoa powder (1/2 tsp?)
a bit of milk

Blend it together until smooth.

Enjoy!
Also, don't be mad at me because you'll want to make it everyday.

I found the banana ice cream idea on Pinterest, which I'm also hooked on.

And for some reason, I can't get enough of white kitchens, among other things.

ONE day with The Crazy.

Oh, hey blog! Remember me?

Yeah, I'm too busy chasing around Burke, my sweet little looney 2nd born.

But some days, he's known as Crazy Ass around here, because there is no other way to describe him.

So, on a Monday about a week ago, this is how my day went. Or was it a Tuesday? I'm not sure because they are all running together.

I was 3 feet away doing my make-up. I turned around to the silent little ninja filling up the toilet with new toilet paper rolls that I had yet to put in the cupboard. I won't make that mistake again.

I'd like to say that this was the only time he's thrown stuff in the toilet, but I'd be lying. It probably happens every other day.

Next up, I'm playing with Brett in the family room, and all of a sudden I get panicked, because I know Burke is in Brett's room. Brett NEVER closes his bathroom door, so I was sure Burke was in there playing in Brett's toilet. Awesome. I get to dig in the toilet twice in one day.

Nope, the little Crazy climbed himself up into Brett's sink.

I'm not sure how, because when Burke is standing on the top of the blue step stool, the counter hits him chest high.

THE KID IS A FREAKING MONKEY!

And then he turned the water on. And it didn't even bother him.


Oh, and let's use Brett's toothbrush while we're at it.

So then I put him in the bath, because he's soaking wet. He tried to climb out, twice, and the second time he fell and bumped his face on the tub. I didn't really think anything of it because he didn't cry. I got him out and got him lotioned, diapered and dressed. Just as I'm about to take him off the changing table, he smiles a big toothy grin, AND HIS TOOTH IS CHIPPED!

Sweet.

I was ticked, but mostly because he'll look so goofy in pictures. It was so sharp, I had to take him to the dentist to get it filed down. It took me, the dentist, and another guy to hold him down. Yes, he is that strong. Good thing I think he's so freaking cute or I'd run away and come back when he's 18.

And then I'm pretty sure I took a nap that day. Because I needed it.

And every day that I have the option to blog or take a nap? I choose the latter.

That's my life right now. How are you?