February 20th, 2010 Our Loving Father passed away to be with the Love of his life on their Golden Anniversary. After suffering through a long year, missing Tamra so very deeply, he was called back home.
Last Saturday, the13th, he came over and told me about this vision he had. It was of Mom, Tamra. He was laying in bed facing out when he saw her standing next to his bed. Nothing was said, and what he saw was a healthy younger Tamra... she was radiant and looked so beautiful. He didn't want to reach out to try and touch her because he was afraid that she would leave so he laid their for awhile just taking her in. It was so vivid to him. He finally had to try, he reached out to touch her, and that is when she left. He cried so hard that day... He longed to be with her.
Little did we know that perhaps she was coming to him to let him know she was about to take him home with her. We had a lovely evening remembering Mom. We had 15 smile face balloons, 2 star and one "I love you" balloons. We attached messages to the balloons and took them all into her bedroom. We took many pictures... and while we did, Dad was trying so hard to hold back his emotions, but the were no match to his toughness. They came out, and that is when he asked for one of us to say a prayer. Shane was kind enough to offer a very loving prayer. After that we sat a little longer in the room and then worked our way outside. We were all to wait to release the balloons until we all were together, but Dad couldn't wait.. the moment he got out there, he let his balloons go... he turned around with a smile on his face. I will never forget that, or how happy it made him feel that we sent all those balloons heavenward. We then went in the house and made dinner, "shells". It was the same dinner we had on the day Mom passed. We were in good company, and the feeling was peaceful. Dad wasn't feeling to good, worn out from his emotions, but he stayed out with us the whole night, until we went home. He stayed at the door waving with the biggest smile on his face until we had all gone... then he went in.
The next day I called him around 8:40 am. He didn't answer, which is normal for Dad. I left a message for him. I tried several more times that morning, it wasn't until 1pm that I thought I better head over to check on him. When I got there, the house was quiet.. I headed back to his room and back porch. I could smell a faint smell of cigarette smoke, so I knew he was home. I turned that corner, and that is when I saw my Dad. At first I thought he was asleep in his chair outside, but it wasn't until I touched him that I knew he was gone.
It is saddening to know that we now are left "alone" we are "earth orphans". We are holding strong to one another, and are blessed to have many many prayers offered to us. The only thing that is getting us through is knowing that they, Jack and Tamra, Mom and Dad are together again and that they are feeling amazing! We will miss our parents dearly, and life will have forever be changed... but we need to remember that they LOVE us, and that they will forever be apart of us, and that they will always be in our heart.... we just need to trust in that and be open to the unknown and look everyday for one simple beauty that made us smile, no matter how small or how silly it might be. One moment at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time...
We Love You Dad... Thanks for all the hard work you have done to provide for us. For taking that higher road in life and making something out of yourself when you faced such a tough childhood. We love you... thanks for showing us how to have compassion for others in your settle ways. You are a strong loving Husband and Father, as well as an amazing Grandfather. We will miss you.... Love you! xoxoxo