Goodbye 2009

I can honestly say I am happy to see 2009 go away. Most of you know that it has been a hard and trying year right from the start. It never seemed to slow down either.

While there has been some good moments that had come out of the year.... I have never been so excited to see a new year roll in. Now lets just hope that 2010 will be of itself, a year a good change, of peace and miracles. A year of healing and memories created that will last a life time.
A time where we can all heal from all the let downs of the decade past.

Welcome 2010, please be kind and loving.
Show us that you care... we all could use some TLC.

Peace and Love to all our friends and families.
We love you all so very much!
*~Happy New Year~*

Fall back....

A beautiful trip up in the Cedar Breaks/Brian Head area in late September.
This is one tradition we try to keep every year!
I just LOVE the colors!!
Wish I could rewind time... if only it could happen...

Praying for snow....

For Christmas...
Mom, I hope you can work your magic up in Heaven!
A white Christmas would be amazing!
Love You!

"WE CARE"

Dear Postal Customer:
We sincerely regret the damage to your mail during handling by the Postal Service. We hope this incident did not inconvenience you. We realize that your mail is important to you and that you have every right to expect it to be delivered in good condition.
Although every effort made to prevent damage to the mail, occasionally this will occur because of the great volume handled and the rapid processing methods which must be employed to assure the most expeditious distribution possible.
We hope you understand. We assure you that we are constantly striving to improve our processing methods in order that even on a rare occurrence may be eliminated.
Please accept our apologies.
Sincerely,
Your Postmaster

Really? Do you really care?
This is what we got in our mail the other day.... It was something that made me laugh... and at the same time I couldn't believe that they delivered it to us!
Now if only I can get my hands on some of these bags so I can place my mistakes in them and be free from the damage :] heehee

This is Halloween....

This is what Ethan wanted his pumpkin to look like

Ethan's Pumpkin

In loving memory of my Mom.

We Love You! Have a nice day and smile all the way! xoxo

Happy Day Ethan! You are now 3!!!

Happy Birthday to our little guy! I cannot believe that three years have gone by! You have such personality, and are such a loving and giving boy. We Love You with all of our hearts and soles! May you have a VERY "HAPPY DAY"... Happy Birthday Ethan!! XOXOXO

Happy Birthday Sienna!!

Hope you have a HAAAAAPPPPYYYY BIRTHDAY!
We sure do LOVE you sweetie!! :D

Happy Birthday Doug!!

We love you oh so very much!!
We hope you have a great day!

Have a nice day and smile all the way!! XOXOXO

"Good Morning Sunshine!"

Time to heal? No, time to cope.

Its now been over 6 months since the passing of my Mother. All the firsts that one has to go through after loosing someone close to their heart is beyond hard. Its crazy just how it effects you as a whole, how it makes you feel inside, and what emotions it brings out. There are the first that you never thought about, and then there are the firsts you knew were going to happen.

They say time heals, but I really believe that its not time that heals you, its the ability to learn to cope without that loved one in your life. It's not getting better... not at all. I just have learned how to cope. I have to admit though, there are times when all I can do is act out. The emotions that can overcome you can confuse you. One minuet you are ok, the next you are a big ball of tears, then all of the sudden you are in a yelling fit.... then all you want is to be alone. Talk about confusion. The dreams that you have is the other thing you never thought you would have... to relive Her being well, then finding out She is sick, and then Her passing away over and over. Here I thought sleep was my exit... not always.

You tend to look for things.... things that might be Her conveying to you. Just the other day I was making mac and cheese for lunch and Ethan was talking about the food that went into his tummy showing his mouth open to Doug.... Doug then said "let me see! Oh my gosh! I can see it in your tummy" This is something my Mom used to say to me when I was little, and time to time when I was older for fun. Doug just saying that to Ethan through me back in time, and made me stop and look over.. It was my Mom.. it was as if She was there saying that to Ethan! I then broke down and cried. Doug then commented that my Mom was putting words into his mouth. He knew too that wasn't something he would say at all.

Its still hard not to want to call over to the house to talk with Her. Its hard to go through life's problems and not have Her there to talk it through with. Its weird to say "we are going to Grandpa's house" when you always would say "we are going over to Grandma's house". Its hard to see Ethan not remember Grandma... Its hard.

Cope. I guess that's what I have to learn to do, because time wont heal my heart's ache. It cant.

I miss you dearly Mom... I forever will Love you!

Picking Apples

Thanks Shane!!! *BIG GRIN*

This is what I saw when I opened the front door! This morning at about 1:15 am my Brother Shane came by and did this for me.... He called and asked if there was anyone looking at me through the window... *grin* This is what he meant... I dont think he knows JUST how much this has meant to me. Mom was always the one that would do funny and wacky things such as this... without here hear... well the days before today, I didnt want my birthday. I was ready to give it away. I didnt want to face today knowing it would be without her. So you see... with my Brother who went out of his way to make it as special as possible... made today bearable. Thank you Shane!! I love you soooo very much too!!
Thank you to my other two Brothers, Bart and Chet, who have sent me messages and sang for me... It means so much.. and I know Mom is proud that you kept your promise of us staying together as a family! I Love you guys!!
Thanks to my Dad for calling and singing to me! It was SO cute! Love you Dad!

Thanks to my own family for the gifts this morning and the emails and texts... I love you too!

Thanks to my friends who have sent messages and texts to have a happy birthday! I am soo grateful for this day... thank you everyone for making it a nice day... because now I can smile all the way!!
LOVE YOU MOM!!!