Having Manners

In Should you say ‘please’ to an AI? From Seth Godin's Blog, Seth Godin said,

“When we start barking orders without regard for what it costs to follow those orders, it’s easy to forget that time and resources are always scarce.”

People seem to forget how important it is to say please and thank you. We seem to take people for granted.

When we went to France, we were warned by a lot of people that when we got there, people would not be friendly to us. We were pleasantly surprised when everyone we met was friendly and helpful to us. That is when I realize that maybe it was because when we met people, I tried to use their language as an introduction. I would say hello and smile. If we ordered something, I would always ask “please” in French. When we got something from someone, I always told them “thank you” in French. They would always smile and appreciate my effort with trying to use their language.

Even now, when I talk to my husband, I’m very careful about saying “please” and “thank you” to him. I don’t ever want him to feel as if I take him for granted. I try to treat him as if he is a friend or even someone else, I didn’t know. If I had a conversation with others, I would always try to be polite and use my manners. I don’t want them to think badly about me. Why shouldn’t I treat my family in the same way? Maybe because I feel they will love me no matter what which is another way of taking advantage of their love.

When I interact with my students, the best way to teach them manners is by being a good role model. I need to treat them with respect and make sure I treat them the way I want them to treat me. I need to expect them to say “please” and “thank you.” As students get older, I think we let their manners slide because it is easier than arguing with them or insisting that they use their manners.

This is worth the time to work on with my students and me. I like to ask my students to nicely remind me of my manners if I forget to say “please” and “thank you.” I will respectfully acknowledge this and correct my mistake. This helps students pay attention to when I use my manners and helps them work on using their manners. Parents have mentioned that they notice how much nicer their children are behaving at home.

These two phrases are very simple but can leave a huge impact.

How do you encourage your students to use their manners? Please share.

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Being Alive

In No Zombies: Stop Going Through the Motions and Live Life from  Cool Cat Teacher Blog by coolcatteacher@gmail.com, Victoria A Davis, Cool Cat Teacher, asks,

“I wonder how many people will reach the end of their lives and wonder if they really were alive?”

I think we need to teach our students about etiquette with electronic devices. I see too many young people missing out on so much of life because they are fixated on their electronic devices. Too much of life is missed because of this!

Let me disclose that I love my mobile devices and would stay on the too long if I didn’t monitor and control my own usage of them. This is also something that should be taught to our students. I have learned that I have other interests that require me from being on my electronic devices.

One of my pet peeves are people who have loud and long conversations on their phone in public places like restaurants, stores, and even restrooms! I have answered a phone if it was an important call that I couldn’t miss and ask the person to hold on until I could go to a more private place. Otherwise, let it go to voicemail and check it later!

If you are with other people in an eating establishment, it should be a device free area unless you are sharing photos with others.

Today at McDonalds, someone was watching a video with the sound on so everyone had to hear it. No one wants to hear you laughing at a video they don’t want or care to see or hear! Either use headphones/earbuds or turn off the sound!

If you are outdoors where other people are trying to enjoy nature, do not talk on your phone, listen to music, or otherwise disrupt their quiet enjoyment of their surroundings.

It is great to take a lot of photos (I am guilty of this!) but also move the camera away from your face and look around. Appreciate where you are away from a camera! Memories are good to capture but they mean more if you remember the actual experience.

When given a choice of online interactions or real-life interactions, always, always opt for the real life ones. We should never get to where we prefer artificial or online interactions over real life ones. The real-life interactions are more meaningful in life that others. Nothing can take the place of meeting people face to face, feeling emotions, and using our senses that we don’t always use online.

What do you do to make sure that you experience life first hand? Please share!

Photo: Live by Anton Sim

E is Etiquette

According to Merriam-Webster: “the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life”

It seems like we don’t teach etiquette anymore. These are the things that can make you stand out as special – in a good way. These are things that make you feel good about yourself because you are doing nice things. These are the things that make people know that you were brought up “right” and have good breeding.

Here are some of the things that I don’t see on a usual basis anymore (and would like to):

·      Men holding doors open for women (I don’t care if it is sexist, I like it).

·      Holding doors open for the people behind you entering the same door.

·      Sending handwritten thank you notes.

·      Saying please when requesting something.

·      Letting people out of an elevator before entering.

·      Not talking with food in your mouth.

·      Sending an RSVP when you can or can’t attend an event.

·      Setting the table with forks, spoons, and knives in the correct spot.

·      Calling people to see if it is alright to visit them.

·      Dressing appropriately for different types of events.

·      Talking in soft voices when inside public places.

·      Not talking on cell phones in restaurants.

·      Not texting or talking on you cell phone when you are visiting with other people.

·      Allowing other people to go first through doors if you both arrive at the same time.

·      Cleaning up after yourself if you make a mess somewhere.

·      Not gossiping about other people.

I think as a teacher, these are some things that I could teach my students. They are little things and would make them look good when they are around others. Some are just good common sense items.

What are some etiquette that you would like to see others show? Please share.

Showing Good Manners

Last week we went to Disney World and I am always amazed at the manners of some people. Mostly they are good manners but maybe due to the excitement, sometimes people are extremely rude.

For example, we were getting on the ferry to the Magic Kingdom and one man pushes past me with a young boy and says, “Just push through her, catch up with the others!” All I could think of was this young boy is going to learn to that it is okay to push people to get where you want to and that this dad is showing this by example!

On one ride, an older man with two teens tried to cut in front of us. I stared down one of the teens who got back in line but the man refused to get behind us. Eventually when he realized the 2 teens wouldn’t join him, he moved back where he belonged. These teens were going to learn from his example that you didn’t have to stay in your place in line if you want to cut ahead of people and this could cause them problems in the future.

I decided that instead of noticing bad manners, I was going to look for examples of good manners.

We were in line behind a large group of teenagers and behind us was an older woman in a scooter and another lady. We didn’t realize they were part of the group in front until one woman asked if we would mind getting in front of the group so they could all be together. They even told the group to let us go ahead. They didn’t ask if they could cut in front of us but instead wanted us to go first! I thought that was a great way to show teens how to be polite!

When we were going in one of the parks, we were waiting to get onto a tram from the parking lot and there was a huge crowd. One couple insisted we go in front of them because we had a better chance of getting on then their huge group. What a great example to show the young children in that group.

We tried to be extra courteous to people because we knew that many were excited to be there and that this may be their first visit. Others may have a limited amount of time and trying to fit everything in during that time. By understanding what may motivate people to have bad manners, helps to tolerate them without getting angry.

What latest good manners have you encountered? Please share.

Thank You

Recently we went out to lunch with a friend who was complaining that his relatives showed no gratitude for things he gives them. They never say thank you even after he confronts them about it. I have had relatives do the same thing to me. I've wondered if they ever received a check or a gift that I had sent. After months of waiting for a thank you but never getting one, I ask them if they got it and I’m told in an off hand way that they had. No thank you was attached to that statement.

I remember growing up and my mother making me write thank you notes whenever someone gave me a gift. I hated doing it but it was mandatory. As I got older I tried to make sure I did that but now mainly do it through emails and text messages. My next door neighbor was really great about sending little thank you notes whenever I did something for her. I wish I could say I was as good as her but I wasn’t. Even though I don’t mail thank you notes any more, I make sure the person knows how much appreciate the gift.

In our discussion, we felt like it was this younger generation that seemed to be ungrateful. It seems like they just expect things and don’t feel like they need to acknowledge or thank the person who gave them something. Maybe they weren't taught this at a young age. I remember when I was little and people would ask me what the magic word was (please) and what did I say after someone gave me something (thank you). This was even taught when trick-or-treating. 

I wonder if we do a disservice to our students by not teaching them how important this is.

Here are some activities that I think that I would start doing with my students, no matter what age they are.

·      Discuss the word appreciation and when we would show our appreciation for something.

·      What are ways to show appreciation to someone?

·      Why is showing appreciation important?

·      How do people feel when someone appreciates them or their work?

·      Practice writing sample thank you notes.

I know I need to do a better job at thanking people for the things that they do for me. I’m going to dust off my notecards and start writing!

Do you feel that young people today are ungrateful? How would you go about teaching them how to be thankful? Please share.