Listen and stop talking

I love listening to Sunday sermons and wondering how I can apply them to the classroom. This Sunday, the pastor talked about listening. He loved listening to the people in the church and especially the children in church. During the week, he mentioned how he listened to people in the community. He also mentioned that it was easier to listen now that he was retired (He was filling in for our pastor who is recovering from CoVid).

I know when I was a beginning teacher, I talked too much. (Of course, people may say I haven’t changed at all even 40 years later.) I wanted to share my knowledge, I wanted to push all this education into my students’ heads and then miraculously be educated! I wanted to be the best teacher in the world and show my students that I can make them better people.

I remember taking a class where we were encouraged to give “wait time” when we asked questions. Don’t be in such a hurry to give the answers if the students were struggling. Some students took longer to process the question. Do you know how hard it was for me to keep my mouth shut? Eventually, I got better at this and stopped being in such a hurry.

I also learned that we ask students how they are without really listening to their answers. Students are used to this question as a greeting and rarely answer honestly. I have tried to stop using that question as a greeting if I’m not really interested in the answer. Now when I ask that question, I make sure I have time to listen to the answer. I stop and look at the person I’m asking and when they answer the usual, “fine,” I encourage them to continue with more information. I may even ask, “No, really, how are you?” Sometimes this little attention can help a person open up when they are in need of someone to listen.

I try to practice this in front of my students. We even discuss how listening is important and ways we can show we are really listening and not just hearing the other person. Sometimes, we might even role-play situations. Students like to give real-life examples when they felt like someone wasn’t listening to them. We role-play what they say actually happened and then we try to think of ways we wanted the other person to act. This can be a very enlightening activity for all because many times it can lead to discussions that might clarify a situation for someone.

I think listening is a skill that we should practice. It is easier to push it aside for other things, especially if we have busy lives. But listening is cheap and it’s free. It is a way to show caring and love towards others. It is a simple thing to do but can mean the world to someone else.

How do you teach listening in the classroom? Please share.

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World Listening Day

Today is World Listening Day.

What does listening mean? Is it the same as hearing or is it different?

According to the Merriam- Webster dictionary, Hearing means:

“the special sense by which noises and tones are received as stimuli.”

According to the Merriam- Webster dictionary, Listening means:

"to pay attention to sound; to hear something with thoughtful attention: give consideration"

To me, these are very different things. I believe people can hear sounds but not process what they hear. I think listening is the means of processing the sounds into something meaningful.

Listening is a skill that needs to be practiced. Just because a student can hear what you are saying does not mean that the student understands what you are saying.

There are ways to see if students understand what they are hearing.

Ask students to repeat to you the directions you gave. Ask other students if the student is correct or not.
Ask students to rephrase what they heard. Ask other students if the student is correct or not.
Have students show you that they understood by doing what you asked. Ask other students if the student is correct or not.
Read a story and have students act out different scenes from the story.

How do you help students practice listening? Please share.

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Hearing vs. Listening

In Listening is difficult from Seth Godin's Blog, Seth Godin states,

“Listening happens when we put in the effort to understand what it means.”

Students don’t need to learn how to hear but students need to learn how to listen. Teachers shouldn’t assume that students know how to listen.

Sometimes students hear the words, but they have trouble process what they are hearing. We tease my husband that he has a hearing problem, but I really think it is more of a processing problem. He has gone to the movies and gotten the free sound amplifier for hearing impaired to see if it helps him understand the movie better. He says it just makes what he hears louder but doesn’t help him understand the movie. Then he tried the free closed caption glasses with the movie, and he loved them. He can hear the sounds alright, but the closed captions made a world of difference!

When I give instructions, I may have a list of procedures for them to see as I go through the steps. I also need to make sure that I model what I want the students to do. This helps students who are auditory or visual learners.

Sometimes when I have a conversation with someone, my mind wanders. I hear what they are saying but I’m not really understanding their meaning. It almost sounds like “blah blah blah” in my head. I need to pay more attention to what they are saying and focusing on their meaning. My husband says he can tell when I do this because my eyes kind of glaze over but I think I can hide it pretty well. I’m sure my students can do the same thing.

After I give instructions and model expectations, I need to ask students to tell me what is expected. If a student cannot tell me this, either they weren’t listening or they might not really understand what I want them to do.

I also think it is important to make the list of procedures/instructions available to the student for reference. It can either be on a large poster sheet hung up on the board or the wall or individual sheets for each student. Eventually, as they get more practice, this “cheat sheet” won’t be needed anymore.

How do you help your students listen? Please share.

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6 word story

In #ISTE19: What's Your 6 Word Story? From Lisa Nielsen: The Innovative Educator, Lisa Nielsen shares a way to use a 6-word story.

I like this idea about using it to summarize things in the classroom.

Students can use 6 words to summarize the following:

·      A chapter they read.

·      A story that was told.

·      A video that was watched.

·      A lecture being given.

·      A proposal that they want to make about a future topic.

·      A conversation with another person.

This is a great way to practice listening skills. Many times, in a conversation, people are thinking about what they want to say instead of what the other person is saying. This would help the listener focus on what is being said.

I’m going to give this a try so that I can have several examples to show students.

Have you tried this? What other ways can a student use this technique? Please share.

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

Difficult Conversations

In 7 Tips for Difficult Conversations with Students from @DavidGeurin Blog by David Geurin

“What are some of your strategies for having difficult conversations with students?”

I think the most important thing is to develop a rapport with the students. I need to make sure students know that I’m not going to judge them if they come to me for help. Students need to be able to trust me before they are ever going to be willing to have any difficult conversation with me.

I believe that sometimes our students want to have the difficult conversations with us but don’t know how to start it. Sometimes their behavior makes us want to avoid these conversations and ignore it because it is the easier thing to do. But I didn’t become a teacher because it is the easier thing to do. One of the hardest things to do is to read between the lines. Look for what my student is not saying as much as what the student is saying. I look at body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice as much as the words that are spoken.

Sometimes it is most important that I listen rather than talk. Believe me, this is really hard for me. While I’m listening, sometimes I am formulating what I am going to say and I’m so focused on my own thoughts, that I’m not listening to what is being said. This can be very obvious, and the student will shut down.

I don’t always need to solve the student’s problem. I think it is important after active listening that I ask the student what they want from me. What can I do to help? Their answer may be that I already have by listening. Or they may want me to come up with suggestions to solve the problem. But I don’t offer these suggestions unless they are asked for. If I offer them when they aren’t asked for, I’m unconsciously telling the student that they are not capable or strong enough to solve their own problems. I want them to grow confident enough that they learn problem-solving skills so if I’m solving their problems for them, they will never gain the skills they need for success in life.

How do you have difficult conversations with your students? Please share.

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Listening But Not Hearing

In Unpacking our educators’ belief systems from  Dangerously Irrelevant, dr.scott.mcleod@gmail.com (Scott McLeod) shares,

“…when we’re having conversations or working with educators in professional learning settings, what we say to them may not be what they hear.”

This is true in many conversations I have with others and it makes me realize that I need to encourage further conversation if I am concerned that the other person is not understanding what I’m saying.

Many times, I complain that my husband doesn’t listen to me but this makes me realize that he is probably listening but not really hearing what I’m saying. I’ve learned when we talk that I need to be clear about my wants and expectations and not expect him to be a mind reader. I need to do the same with my students. I shouldn’t assume that they understand what I’m asking or explaining.

A good way to do that in my classroom is to ask my students if they agree and why or why not. Asking them to explain their answer shows me if they are really understanding me. It is easy to say yes or no or give a thumbs up and thumbs down, but do they really know or just guessing? Are they just giving me an answer they think I want to hear?

I think understanding also depends on the perspective that another person has. Sometimes during the conversation, they show me how my words can be perceived in a different way that I never had thought of.

I tend to be egocentric when I talk, and I need to be more aware of the different perspectives that others may have. In order to do this, I need to ask questions and encourage conversation.

I also need to teach my students to do the same thing. Many students get frustrated with adults because they feel that they are not being heard. Maybe they are right. Maybe adults are listening but not really hearing them. Rather than getting frustrated and mad, we teach them a better way of being heard. Encourage them to work harder at deeper conversations.

By doing this, I am helping them have more successful personal and professional relationships.

What tips would you give students to help them be heard? Please share.

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Hearing is Not Listening

In Is Anybody Listening? from Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Victoria A Davis, Cool Cat Teacher shares,

“Excellent listening remains the hallmark of an excellent person and, I would add, an engaging conversationalist as well.”

I agree with her that people hear but they don’t really listen. Hearing is not the same as listening. With hearing, we know that people are saying words but we aren’t really comprehending what they are saying. We might even miss something important or respond inappropriately.

Too many people are engaged in their electronic devices and don’t want to be interrupted so they only hear that people are talking. They don’t really listen to what they are saying. They know they hear words but they don’t have any meaning.

Many people don’t realize that they are missing valuable people interactions but focusing on the nonliving devices. I think that is why many people are losing their social skills because they don’t practice them enough.

I also don’t think we listen to the elderly enough. It seems like the older people get, the more they like to share their memories. We recently had an annual hiking club meeting where some of our older members were sharing hiking stories but we ran out of time. It hit me that when these people are gone, many of these hiking stories are gone. So, I hope this summer to get out and record some of their stories.

I also think we need to get more veterans in classes to share stories with students. There are many valuable history lessons in these stories.

Many elderly crafters also have stories they could tell. I think they have learned shortcuts or have creative ideas that people would like to know about.

How do you feel about hearing and listening? Please share.

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