More Flowers & Some Friggin' Links

I'm typing in a different font because I can. Anyway I got flowers from my sweetie today. A lovely rose was with several daisies & I decided to put it in my hair today. Pretty eh? It was very hard to take this pic because I was in the bathroom & despite having a mirror it was still a bit of a pain. But worth it because I love flowers in my hair & wanted to share this beautiful flower with y'all!

It's really nice out so I'm not saying much today. I had some really awesome sex yesterday. I've been having constant medical issues that have caused a strain on my sex life. I won't get into the gory details but today I am extra happy because even when my beloved & I can't get it on for whatever reason, we're always close. So it's just that much hotter when we do have sexy time. All day I've been grinning like a fool. Speaking of sex check out this recent post on the Powell's Books Blog. You can actually watch a couple screw. How ever thinks books are boring is sadly mistaken!

Other random items include a dude selling his Blackness on EBay, Arnold Schwarzenegger plans to fight against banning same sex marriage in California and an Iraq war veteran in Ashland, Oregon heals her pain by being a consultant to a play about an Iraq war veteran in "Welcome Home, Jenny Sutter" by Julie Myatt.

Folks have a beautiful weekend!
~F

The War & That Not so Fresh Feeling + Friday Literary Links + Heartbeats

Yesterday I has breakfast with my sweetheart at Jam, a restaurant that is consistently great for breakfast. While waiting for scrambled eggs, hash browns and a ricotta lemon pancake, I noticed on a wall a sign about a soldier from Portland currently in Iraq. His name is JD and in the picture next to a sign detailing his experiences at war I noticed he was quite handsome in his uniform and thought he seemed like he would probably make a good military officer. The poster sized sign described how cold it is in Iraq, how they rarely get letters for various reasons and that in order for these folks over there to even be able to talk on the phone to loved ones, they must have an AT&T calling card and wait in line for 2 hours. I felt heartbroken all over again for those in Iraq fighting and surviving and living & feeling and being in Iraq. It's been 5 years y'all! And quite frankly I'm getting that not-so-fresh-feeling!

It's been long e-fuckin'-nough. 5 years. 5 friggin' years! It's gone on too long. And what breaks my heart even more is that our troops when they do come home, are left without enough medical coverage, enough money or enough concern. If you have time next Saturday and are in Portland, please join me at a rally and action camp next weekend on March 15th. It's being called: March 15 World Without War: A Day of Resistance and Hope. I hope to see you there!

Okay I better switch topics before I go into a depression. So March, besides being Women's History Month is also Small Press Month. And none other than Walter Mosely is the poster dude for the celebration. For suggestions on titles to read for this go here. I'm happy to say I've read a number of the books listed but would also like to read Lonely Ware wolf Girl and also The Secret Adventures of Charlotte Bronte.

Critical Mass the blog of the national book critics circle has the scoop the NBCC winners. I'm personally very excited to see that Medical Apartheid by Harriet Washington won for general nonfiction. It's no surprise that The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz won for fiction because it's well...wonderful. Anyway congrats to the winners!

My pal Kevin Sampsell gave me an interesting book the other day titled: Sex for America: Politically Inspired Erotica. And it's a hoot. The very first story is a man's encounter with Dick Cheney in the back of a gun shop. Since were in election mode I think there is no better book to get us in the mood... for sex and politics. So check it out. Speaking of sex and writing there is a new award for sex positive journalism aptly called the Sexies. Submissions are being taken until the 23rd of this month so if you have done some sex positive journalism find out more here.

Well I need to go home and feed the animals now. I think I'll be getting a laptop soon cuz this blogging at work off the clock thing is starting to get really old. In the meantime here are two awesome videos of the same song. It's worth listening to them both because one is the studio version and the other is live & sometimes music can be great in the studio & suck live, the this group called The Knife, has done a great job in both genres! The song is called Heartbeats. Enjoy y'all. Much love!
~F

Mezza Platter, Lesbian Porn and a Dude Saying the Word "Shart" on Network TV

This New Years was pretty calm. I got my period early yesterday morning and since my endometriosis has been getting worse, the first couple days of bleeding are best spent sleeping. But I had to work & at least stay up until midnight.

During the day I got to see my most significant ex and his son and he got to meet my partner and it was really good to see him. Currently my ex lives in Spain so we rarely get to see each other in person so it was great to have him see my beloved in person and all of us talk about important political issues. It was nice!

After work my sweetheart and I went to dinner at a Lebanese restaurant, which we went to last year on NYE and shared a veggie mezza platter, veggie stuffed grape leaves and a cheese pizza. So fawking good! It was so romantic to be sitting in the very same place we sat last year, not quite sure then what was happening between us then but excited to be together. That night was the first time we verbally acknowledged our mutual attraction. Ahhh memories!

Prior to dinner on our lunch break (we work at the same place) we went to the friendly neighborhood adult toy store Spartacus on a whim. We didn't see many items we needed or wanted but we wound up floating over to the video section & I wondered if they possibly had on the off change a movie I've been wanting to see called How to Fuck in High Heels. You see it has been difficult to find quality porn made by & for actual lesbians. And when I say quality I mean hot but not gross or overdone with good camera angles, attractive women and great lighting & not too much damn plot.

Well Spartacus had the film. They also had the movie Crash Pad by Shine Louise Houston. Another film I've wanted to see & had been especially excited about it because Shine is a QWOC. So I had no choice but to open a video membership with Spartacus & was able to, with glee, bring home some porn.

How to Fuck in High Heels was in a way a disappointment. It doubled with a film called Hard Love and there wasn't much too that one. In fact what was hard to watch was the lesbian drama and having to listen to the bad acoustic lesbian music that accompanied the sex scenes. My partner & I would up fast forwarding through most of it. How to- however had some decent moments but they were more on the level of comedy due to the very dry star of the film Shar. She had us cracking up with her inexpressive commands at her sex partners and even her expressions of excitement was monotone at best. I personally felt like Shar could possibly be the funniest woman on earth & instantly fell in love with her porn persona.

Crash Pad on the other hand was the film many of us have been waiting for. It had everything I like in a porn with some surprises and a couple moments that left my mouth open with shock & my loins throbbing with titillation. I don't want to give away some of the great stuff but lets just say how very talented the actresses were. And there was a strong sense that these women really enjoyed each other and what they were doing. There was some rawness that damn near took my breath away but at the same time, style and artistic merit. It was great to see women actually cum for once in a porno and even better to see close-up just what got them there. I can't wait to see Shine's follow up Superfreak about the ghost of Rick James invading a party full of femme dykes. Woo hoo! Find out more on the Crash Pad series here.

The last little shock of the night was while watching the New Years special on NBC with Carson Daly (btw is it me or does he remind you a bit of Dick Clark?) when the Star of the television show Chuck, Zachary Levi said to Carson daly that he nearly shart when he saw New York Yankee player Alex Rodriguez in the crowd at Times Square. I turned to my partner and said with surprise "did he just say shart on network TV?" She shook her head yes & we both laughed. All in all it was a pretty good new years eve.

Have a groovy 2008 y'all!
Peace!
~F
P.S. Don't forget if you live in Portland, OR about the vigil tomorrow night at the Q Center. Tomorrow was the day many of us planned to gain spousal rights in Oregon and now that right is on hold due to prejudice & a funky legal system. The event is open to all members of the community and I welcome all allies to come too.
Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008
5:30 - 7:00 pm
Q Center
69 SE Taylor Ave at SE Water Ave, Portland
FREE http://www.pdxqcenter.org/

My Baby's a Top

Well it's been a little while since I've posted here. It's been a busy week & between a yeast infection & vaginal bleeding, some sleepless nights & an infected ingrown toenail I've just not had it in me to blog. Until today. As a special bonus to all you lovely QWOC fans I'm going to post on my favorite subject: sex. Here goes!

I'm not sure among regular vanilla sexual heterosexuals (vanilla means not too kinky sexually) if discussions of who's a top & who is a bottom comes up. With the dudes I've dated (yes indeed I've "known" some guys) this has never really come up. It's never been a key factor that was discussed before engaging in the relationship.

But in many queer relationship and among the kinky the "are you a top or bottom" question is very important. First though we must define what top & bottom means. You don't have to be into S/M to have a tendency toward one of these sexual roles. Some people who are tops simply & naturally enjoy being sometimes quite literally on top. Many a top is the more aggressive partner, meaning everything from initiating sex more to penetrating their partner, to being the "giver" to enjoying mild to severe physical demonstration upon their sexual partner including such things as light playful spanking to beating their partner with whips & such.

A top doesn't always have to be on top or the giver. Some tops can "demand" to be tied up or receive oral sex or be more subtle & somehow convey a sense of being in charge sexually with just their eyes and facial expressions.

A bottom is also a diverse expression of sexuality. A bottom can literally enjoy being on the bottom more. A bottom may enjoy receiving pleasure whereas a top gets off (sometimes literally) on giving pleasure. Also bottoms may enjoy simply giving up their power to their partner & being taken and having done to them whatever their top wants to do. Not all bottoms are that way though. Some enjoy making or getting their partner to spank them or punish them or ravage them (whew is it getting hot in here?) or discipline them or penetrate them. They may do this by being quietly naughty or even loud & demanding.

As the Fairy Butch says about these sexual roles it's about "the position you favor relative to sexual power."

Life is not as we all know simply black or white, good or bad. And in terms of sexuality there is more than just bottom or top. The old school terms for some one who could be both a bottom & top was switch. Nowadays most of us say versatile. I think most folks are generally able to switch power expression and roles as the energy dictates. It's up to the couple to negotiate & share through verbal and non-verbal communication where each person is in terms of their personal sexual expression. Sometimes in a couple where both partners are versatile and lets say both feel like being more aggressive, one may have to acquiesce for the moment & then get their turn later.

Like most folks my partner & I have a very diverse & exciting sexual expression. We don't have any kind of routine & like to "mix it up" on many levels. And while I'm defiantly versatile I tend more toward a bottom expression. I enjoy most being taken by my partner & having her in charge so to speak of our sexual act. This doesn't mean I'm not an active participant or have power. In fact it's a little known fact that the bottom is often really the one in charge because s/he is letting the other person do what their doing and without such permission nothing would take place. I'm passionate as a bottom & pull hair & push my partner to me, but I let her take her time & enjoy her demonstration of sexual power. I'm what one would call a versatile bottom because if I'm in a sexual situation where my partner is a bottom I'm able to be the top with no problem. Though for me such a scenario couldn't last on a long term basis but I do sometimes enjoy and even crave to be sexually dominant.

My partner is versatile to a degree. But calling her a versatile top might be a slight stretch. Yes she likes to receive & will have me physically on top of her, but there are things that I just can't top her with. That doesn't mean I can't show her new things or initiate sex. I do. But overall she always wants me to receive and enjoy the pleasure she gives. She often will physically pull me to her at the start of sex. And the most important part, she pays attention to what I like & where my energy is and knows intrinsically how to respond. And that makes my baby not only a top but a great one.
~F