The "It's About Time" Myth. A Note to You So-Called Progressives

I'm kinda tired of hearing some folks for either Clinton or Obama say "it's about time we had a woman candidate." Or "it's about time we had a Black candidate." No it's not. It's not about time. The time, folks, has come & gone & has been past due for many many moons. This country has been overdue for a minority candidate for a long while & by now we should have had a bisexual, transgender, half Asian, half Black, half Dutch, half Jewish, wheelchair using former mental health patient by now. For the love of gawd people stop staying it's about time. No one gives a shit that you think you sound so progressive and tolerant. You don't.

A long time ago I had a recovery sponsor who said "things in this program take a long time." And she was right. In that same vein we can say that things in this country have taken & continue to take a long time. Take for example the Constitution of the United States. It says:
"We hold these truths to be self evident that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

This statement was created 221 years ago by our founding "fathers" and though it's debatable what those words actually meant & who they were meant for back then, one thing is clear to me: US citizens are meant to be equal and are supplied by their Higher Power fundamental rights that cannot be taken away. So it has taken 221 years to achieve in this country the idea that the statement I just noted might be something that guides our society and leads us all to joy & freedom. The idea folks. That's as far as some of us have gotten. A number of folks aren't even there, but at least a number of folks see how all folks being equal is a good idea and worth happening some day. Yes progress is damn slow. Because an idea is not an action & the fact that the action freedom fighters have had to take just to get the rest of this country on board with the idea of the constitutions words, has at last had some results. Now mainstream liberals feel a minority (white female or Black male) could be equal if not better than the presidents we've had. That's great, but shouldn't our whole country felt that way at least 10 years ago? How about 25 years ago or even a hundred years ago?

Saying it's about time is a shortcut. It gives us the chance to vote for a minority & feel good about that & not have to do much else. It's an easy way to feel good about our ideas without having to admit we still need to take to the streets to ensure all of us have those unalienable rights. Knowing in this country that so many people are still discriminated against for no other reason than that they happen to exist in the body they are in, is something we need to look at, ponder, then change. We can't stop at casting a single vote & smugly feel we've done our duty as good liberals. We have to do more than just have ideas. We have to get busy, we have to fight, we have to communicate, we have to listen and we have to believe in the strength that our creator's have given us and get to work. That's when this country will move past being a great idea to a great place.

So next time you hear someone say "it's about time" ask them what else it's time for. And then challenge them to go do something about it.

Peace!
~F

So Bitch is the New Black? I Don't Think So!

Excuse me for not riding the Tina Fey bandwagon over the whole "Bitch is the new Black" campaign that appeared on last nights SNL program. It appears to me that any person of color, especially Black person & especially Black woman has a right to think carefully about what the possible double meaning of those words are. Some may say I'm looking to deeply into that phrase but let's stop for a moment & actually think. Let's contemplate how those words may sound to an actual person who is Black.

Barack Obama as we know is mixed race but generally labeled Black. Could bitch is the new black also stand for bitch being the new Black candidate? If this is the case I'd like to ask, just what the hell is wrong with having a Black candidate? In my humble opinion Tina Fey's words were divisive, which of late has been a trademark of the Clinton campaign.

This presidential election should not be about white women vs. Black men. It needs to be about bringing the US, all of us, together. Yes I agree bitches get things done. Am I a bitch? Some think so. Because I speak my mind when I feel strongly and do the work that needs to get tasks done. Though I don't really care for that term, one could indeed say I'm a B-word. But Mrs. Clinton is a presidential candidate and school yard terminology is not what is going to help us progress to freedom as a society. And since the word Black has been used by many persons to imply that which is negative, bad or even deathly and also used it as a term for the color of a certain races skin, I believe it's important to think when using the word, term and yes, color, Black. B-word or not, Bitch folks ain't the new Black. Black is, was and will always be just that, Black. And it is beautiful, powerful and more than some idea or nasty word.

No You tube clip yet but I'll put it up when available.
Peace!
~F
Update
Here's the vid. Judge for yourself.

Let me Finger What Drives You

A few days ago My sweetie & I were walking down Burnside. A Street known for being quite busy for vehicles & pedestrains alike. As we started to cross the street a car (and it's driver) pulled all the way into the crosswalk making us go around the vehicle & into the dangerously busy street. Passing the car & lady driver I without much thought flipped her the bird. Personally I hate it when drivers do this especially on busy roads and my first reaction is to flip folks off. It beats what I used to do in my more agro days when I'd kick the cars or throw drinks on them.

But what does flipping the bird to these folks really accomplish? Does it really make me feel better? Does it change their behavior making them less reckless & more considerate? I doubt my hostility, however dramatic or mild makes anyone do anything the way I wish them to. And it's these kinds of exchanges that can be subtle & easy to miss as a chance for empowerment, kindness & understanding. No matter how in how wrong the other person is how can the experience be used as on e of those oh-so-fun growth opportunities?

I guess in the end it's all about how I'm feeling at the end of the moment. As with many things I feel utterly compelled to do, I find once the moment of obsession or iritation or amazement passes, so does the need to react to it. And often I find when I resist my first impulse, I was glad I didn't follow through with whatever appeared to satiate my desires at the time. In the end do I want to pretend that flipping off somene will make me get my due revenge? In the end do I want the other person to feel my anger, how ever fleeting, and pretend they'll be more conscientious because of it? These are the questions I need to ask myself if I truly wish to live in the tradition of non-violence.

Violence can be a subtle as flipping the bird to a momentary perceived "enemy." It's not acting out of peace & the belief in the inherent goodness or godliness that resides in us all. So now I must stretch my heart to fit that which my mind already knows. Because I like myself & who I am. I enjoy doing things that make the world a better place & allow me to be the instrument of love that I'm meant to be. My fear of oncoming traffic and reaction to that fear by giving drivers the finger doesn't solve much & doesn't allow for the truth of the situation. So I'll continue to watch for tho moments where I feel a need to react and remember in those moments who I really am.

I'm a Woman and of Color. Maybe I'll Just Vote for a White Dude

*sigh*
*sigh* *sigh*
I'm already growing sick of presidential politics.

The presidential election seems to already be getting ugly and my guess is it will only get worse. Take for example a recent op-ed Gloria Steinem wrote for the New York Times. She starts out the piece trying to give us an image of a bi-racial lawyer & woman being qualified for Senate & then possibly the presidency. She goes on the ask:

Be honest: Do you think this is the biography of someone who could be elected to the United States Senate? After less than one term there, do you believe she could be a viable candidate to head the most powerful nation on earth?

Ms. Steinem goes on to write that the key reason others would not find this WOC qualified is because of her gender and most U.S. citizens attitudes toward gender. Don't believe the hype folks. The reason some would not find the woman qualified for much (other then polishing their floors), is because this person in Ms. Steinem's example is a woman and of color. Not because she's one or the other. My point in acknowledging this is that it feels Ms. Steinem is trying to pit race against gender in the "which minority has it worse" competition. And guess what Gloria? There are no winners. And let's be really real here. When someone is a double, triple and so on minority, they get the short end of whatever stick, based on the combination of their minority statuses. One minority status is not exclusive to the other within a person with more than one minority status. Therefore Ms. Steinem's example was not only erroneous but wrought with the perspective of privilege.

Perhaps the title of Gloria's article should have told me from the get go that her piece was going to highlight the plight of the white woman only when it said "Women Are Never Front-Runners ." Because the "women" she was talking about were obviously white women. If the piece was really about all women she would have noted that though Black men won the right to vote half a century before women, Black women had watch their men get to vote and see their white sisters back then have the free time to go & fight for voting rights while many Black women had to go to work and take care of their families. I'm not saying all white women then had it easy or didn't have to work, but as most of us know white feminism has it's roots in the middle class, rather than the working poor.

In a lovely post on Reappropiate Jennifer Fang says what I think a lot of WOC felt after reading Steinem's piece.

"...Steinem’s piece (intentionally or unintentionally) draws a line in the sand between people of colour and women, essentially disregarding the everyday racism faced by Black and Brown people, and claiming the Oppression Olympics gold medal for women. Further, by casting the debate as between Black men and White women (despite her imperfect creation of Achola Obama), Steinem renders the woman of colour invisible, reaffirms the binary Black-White paradigm of race, and demands we take a side in the epic battle between race and gender. Is it no wonder, then, that women of colour have long felt alienated by feminists like Steinem? Where do we fit when we’re being asked to choose between Obama and Clinton as a metaphor for race versus gender? And how are we supposed to react when an incorrect choice labels us as “less radical”?

And I don't think I'm alone in starting to feel like if I vote for Mrs. Clinton I'm against Obama, POC and therefore against my own color. Or if I vote for Mr. Obama I'm against Clinton, women in general and therefore sexist.

Another example for my annoyance are the regular emails I've been getting from family & friends telling me how racist Hilary Clinton is. Here is the particular quote that has upset many.

"Dr. King's dream began to be realized when President Johnson passed the Civil Rights Act," Clinton said. "It took a president to get it done."

Okay so she doesn't acknowledge Rosa Parks, or Jesse Jackson or other influential activists but she did mention MLK Jr. first. And for the love of you-know-who folks, it did take President Johnson to sign off on civil rights legislation getting passed. It took the work of the activists without a single doubt. But it ultimately took one dude, the president at the time to sign off on our rights. Sadly we have a system that makes things that way. And please don't tell me what the president does & doesn't sign isn't very significant. I know all too well how policies can hurt or help citizens freedoms, for example, say, Don't Ask, Don't Tell anyone? How about DOMA? That was a president who made that happen in the end, wasn't it? Many homophobes influenced Bill Clinton, but ultimately he made a decision about the value of queer people and acted in ink, by signing our rights away. It indeed took a president to do that.

There are many who ask "is America ready for a white female or Black male president?" And I think that is the wrong question. Because for many of us this country has been long overdue for someone other than a white man to lead from the "white" house. The question here really needs to be "are we ready for a president who can't be bought, won't stand to be lied to, won't lie to citizens and will truly be guided by the tenants that make up our constitution?"

Just because we have a woman or man of color in office doesn't mean these folks will think any more progressively than a white man. It is utterly prejudiced to believe that the body someone inhabits is the main factor in guiding their thoughts. For some folks their race, gender, sexuality or physical ability makes them more understanding of their own oppression and the oppression other minorities face. By by no means is that the rule. So let's not just vote for Obama or Clinton because of the body their in. Let's vote for a candidate based on their ability and heart.

Peace!
~F

Grief & Strength. Accepting the Loss of what January 2nd Could have Been

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

For in the end, freedom is a personal and lonely battle; and one faces down fears of today so that those of tomorrow might be engaged. -Alice Walker

Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person. -Mother Teresa

Do exactly what you would do if you felt most secure. -Meister Eckhart

Let no man pull you low enough to hate him. -Martin Luther King Jr.

I'm not doing so great today. Started the day okay, feeling still numb but less in shock. Then I got to work and had co-workers asking me what happened with domestic partnerships and what we were going to do next. And the reason so many co-workers even know is because due to where I work we have something called a holiday "blackout" time where if a staff member needs a day off before January 8th, the person has to either call out or find another staff member to switch shifts. So I had to make a plea to other staff members to switch that day (January 2nd) for one of my regular days off. I really didn't want most of the workplace to even know my business, but I had to find someone to switch shifts so my sweetheart & I could get up early, get legally partnered, and then celebrate.

So the feeling with co-workers asking me about it was one of embarrassment in a way. Like my personal life was on political display for folks I don't really need involved. And the other feeling is grief & loss. Just plain sadness. Trying to stride on in my normal work day I had to get to the bathroom to break down in tears. I'm sweaty and can't eat. The whole thing is really upsetting.

Always in my life I have overcome. Being a queer woman of color I have no choice or else I succumb to the evil of prejudice that wishes me dead. And I know that this ordeal will pass because things always do, but I just can't seem to shake the utter despair of being less than equal today. I'm just so sick of being a minority right now. I'm sick of folks who don't care & folks who don't have to care. I'm sick of one minority group hating another. I'm sick of folks within their own minority group not giving a shit. Many people care, I know this. My own mom reminded me that allies & good people are working hard for equality right this very moment. But when I go around the town today & see folks smiling & laughing & not even phased I just feel... a temporary hopelessness.

There is anger here too. I'm angry so many of my fellow queers choose to sit with their thumb up their arses then get in the streets & make it known to all we are equal. Yesterday I checked Portland's Indy media & other local web sources & there was nothing. No-thing. And yes there will be vigils but where's the passion. Where's the fire or hope even to demand we be treated, by the government who makes us pay the same taxes, equally.

And for the hate mongers who think that their god is better their everyone else's and can't understand what the point of having queers be equal is, I just want to ... I don't even know. Can it be explained that we are just people? Just regular ol' folks who just want the same protections that they already have. We don't wish to take away even one right from them. Don't they know we just want some peace and nothing special at all. Just the same ability to move through the world without having to watch our backs every 5 seconds.

To the allies who remain silent: please speak up! Speak the words we need to hear. That equality is important to you!
To my l/g/b/t/2s family: Don't be afraid to speak up & take action even if you immediate circle doesn't understand. You will connect with those who get it and your strength will shine so others can stand up too.
To our Queer leaders: Know we cannot just settle for less. That this is the time to fight. That doesn't mean violence or hateful actions but a new creativity that will get into the hearts of those who need to see, hear & feel what is the truth of our situations.
For myself: I'll not give up. I'll not sit & wait. I'll speak up even if my fellow queers don't like it. My place is in this world at this time & that cannot for naught. I won't be run over or run down by prejudice. I will rest when I need to & continue to take action for myself & others to be full citizens of not only Oregon or the United States, but also the world. Get ready people. You haven't seen nothing yet!
~F

Here's a little musical salve from the late Tupac. Peace!

Amy Winehouse. Old Timey Negro Stereotype or Just a Typical White Hollywood Bad Girl?

I read a post on Stereohyped the other day titled Amy Winehouse: When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong. Oh-mah-gosh I love the title of that & the post is good too. It's in response to a Salon.com article about how Salon James Hannaham author thinks Amy Winehouse's behavior is akin to stereotypical Black behavior. Huh? But reading the actual Salon article further I can't fully agree with Stereohyped on this one. Nor do I fully agree with every word in the Salon piece either.

Though I'm no fan of Amy Winehouse, I find it odd that because of her singing "style" and the words in her lyrics, she was called in the Salon article a "hip hop potty mouth." Jeez are rappers the only ones who swear?

And though I disagree some with Lauren in her post on Stereohyped about the gist of the Salon.com article I do agree with her that Mrs. Winehouse embodies more today's white Hollywood bad girl than the "soulful negro" stereotype.

What the Salon.com article was getting at (I think) is that Amy is trying to get famous and rich by being the white girl whose "Black" in her soul. She's feeding off the white liberal imagination that loves a magical negro or Black & oh-so-soulful muse, to inspire them to heights of human understanding they can't possibly posses due to a skin color & background that has limited the depth of their...well depth.

And we know some guilty feeling white liberals who love nothing more than someone whose actually white but can "represent" like the soulful negro, or any "urban" individual. We've seen this before with the likes of Eminem, Janis Joplin and even Bob Dylan. James Hannaham in his Salon piece I believe was trying to convey that by Winehouse playing into the white but has authentic feelings and experiences like a name-your-minority, she become successful and a hero to those who need her to be a great white hope and to those who would rather be in denial about their own addictions.

Take for instance Mark Morford who wrote an article several moons ago about how wonderful Mrs. Winehouse is for just saying NO to rehab. Because apparently it is better for her to waste away soulfully than lose her street cred and clean up her act. Dear god what would she sing about then and how would she fulfill his idea of "keeping it real." It was in fact that particular post by Morford that has kept me from reading his ramblings any further.

My hope for Amy is that she cleans up her act in whatever way works best for her (this doesn't necessarily mean rehab, I never went). Then she needs to explore her heart, looking for the ways she's used certain ideas about certain races to benefit her career. Next I'd have her work with a voice coach to explore her talent and let her really keep it real, not because of her problems and imagined "street cred" but because of her strengths and willingness to be herself.

My hope for us all is the same as my hope for Mrs. Winehouse: To love, be loved and in the words of Joss Stone, have a right to be wrong.

Peace!
~F

This is What Passes as News? And Communist Medicine

Okay so first off this fool was on Fox Sleeze News, so I take that with a grain of salt. All I can say is God help us all if this is what passes as news. I cannot believe folks take this shit seriously. And too boot if you watch the video, this dude uses the term Chinese instead of Asian. Not all Asian folks are Chinese people! Clearly we live in a time where intelligence is not a prerequisite for a discussion of work, people or ethics. *sigh*

On a side note my good pal Zee had a good post today on the history of health care in the U.S. of A. Check it out here. One for instance that I didn't know is that Former Prez Truman wanted Universal health care for all citizens. The American Medical Association (AMA) said it was a communist plot. *sigh* *sigh*
Peace!
~F

When White Privilege Goes Really Really Bad. Britney Spears at the VMA's

Last night I did not watch the VMA's (MTV Video Awards). Instead it was pizza & porn for my beloved & I. Porn???? You gasp. Well don't get too excited as it was a documentary on John Holmes that included some of his porn & we could only get it from the porno section in Movie Madness.

Anywho tuning in to my favorite gossip blog Jezebel I wanted to see how the whole Kanye West Vs. 50 Cent thing might have gone down at the VMA's. What I forgot was that Britney Spears was opening for the show. And oh-my-gosh what a nightmare.

Many seem to think she was terribly out of shape. For the record I didn't think she looked so bad at all. Yeah her body wasn't all super tight but I think it looks better than mine thank you. If my body looked like that I'd wear a bikini to work everyday! Anyway her body wasn't the issue for me as much as her lazy ass performance. You can see it here to see what I mean.

Gimmie More?!?! Yeah gimmie more is right because she barely moved at all. She seemed bored or scared or something. I feel kinda sad for her and quite frankly think her career may be over after this one. Her best bet at this point would be to go to Kansas, buy a farm, raise her kids & ger herself together for the next 10 years and then make a stunning comeback. Brit if you're reading this, please go now. You'll thank me later.

Why do I even care about any of this? Because I like watching train wrecks and it takes my mind off my other problems.

So Kanye West said something about all this that got me thinking. Though I do think he's a hack in many ways from crying about getting snubbed at the VMA's to calling mixed race women mutts, I did think it's interesting to note that perhaps Brit did get to where she is in part because of her aryan appeal.

I can't believe that if Mary J. Blige had acted the way Brit did and too boot hasn't had any recent hits, I really doubt Mary would have opened for the show. Mariah Carey certainly performed after her meltdowns but open she did not. The whole thing just trips my white privilege trigger in a big way. But of course we all know the entertainment industry like most thinks in this country are whack in it racist crap.

So it was really rather funny when in a Jezebel post about the VMA's they noted Britney's crappo extensions and how it was the first thing you saw when her "performance" started. It said "this is what a nappy headed ho looks like." Bah hah haha ha.

It's not the Oppression Olympics but I Still Wonder Why the Jena 6 got More Coverage than the New Jersey 7

Look I don't think gays suffer more that POC or that POC suffer more than white women or that women in general suffer more than trans folks or anything like that. But I do think when different minority classifications get combined the likelihood of something being written off faster is likely.

Take for example the Jena 6 case. Most of you have heard of it by now I hope, but if not here's a video link with a great explanation.

The whole thing is crap for the dudes! I mean talk about injustice! A guy gets his butt kicked some but not enough to really harm as he was able to get to a social function that very night. Yet the guys who gave him the can-o-whoop ass get 2nd degree attempted murder charges. Oh and of course it's a white dude that gets his ass whopped & Black dudes that get the erroneous charges. The whole thing is a mess & the young man judged guilty by an all white judge & jury may possibly be given a 22 year sentence. Ahh the smell of racism.

The whole thing sucks & I for one am utterly incensed by all the circumstances surrounding the Jena 6.

That being said I am a little surprised by the fact that the Jena six case is getting so much more press than the case of the New Jersey seven (or four depending on who you read). In fact the fact that some reports say four and some say seven is in itself a problem as no one seems to care to get the facts straight.

Here's an example: I googled the key words Jena 6. And get pages of links. I googled New Jersey 7. Nothing. New Jersey 4. Nothing. New Jersey four. Zip. New Jersey seven. One link to an NY post titled "Attack of the Killer Lesbians." WTF?

Are the circumstances different? Sure. One event happened in a small town and one happened in a big city. One case was all men and the other was women and a man. One case had a white person and several Black people. The other case had all Black folks. One case had (as far as we know) all heterosexuals. The other had homosexual/genderqueer people & a straight person. And to be fair the Jena case initially had stiffer charges against the accused.

Here are the similarities. Past prejudice fueled an attack. Past injustices due to privilege fueled anger. A lack of freedom in choice of location fueled resentment (the tree only belongs to the whites and the streets only belong to men). A legal system that favors the majority to minorities. A person with more privilege provoking the accused. Both cases had the person attacked suffer minor injuries yet the attackers were charged beyond the reality of the crimes. Both cases had prejudice based tensions of the recent past adding to already existing pain of living as less-than-equals. Both cases involved African Americans.

Oh and here's one more difference. In the New Jersey seven's case the accused were not only Black but queer women. Triple minorities that force us to think about the many layers of injustice that happen here in the U S of A.

I'm not saying for one second that the media attention the Jena 6 are getting is undeserved. On the contrary. I think an even bigger ruckus needs to be caused. In that same vein the New Jersey seven's lack of attention seems questionable. Why isn't there more about these women and their case. What are the reasons one case gets more support than another?

With the New Jersey seven I have to wonder if there is sexism here. Or homophobia. Or genderqueer phobia. Or all of the above. Maybe it is just too much for us to think about that many levels of injustice and oppression. Maybe we can get behind men but not people who we consider immoral due to their sexuality and gender expression. Whatever the reason I figure it is important to at least ask.

~F

A Mostly Shitastic Monday

Well I'm glad to know I'm not the only one having a crappy Monday. Zee over at Rathnait gave me inspiration to do a little rant of my own so here goes...

• Slept like crap. So I overslept & missed my Monday 12 meetings. Also had strange dreams.
• Felt like my partner was rushing me so we could have coffee together & in the midst of that I couldn't find my keys. Since I just moved in everything is still a mess & as I looked through things to find said keys crap was falling all over the floor. And at the same time my cat was underfoot meowing like a fiend.
• The garlic I've been using to clear up my yeast infection (oh joy!) is not working so I went to a drug store to get vaginal goop & realized at the checkout I'd left my debit card at home.
• Spilled coffee on my shirt on the way to said drugstore.
• Had to work with my shirt soaking wet for the 1st hour.

And that was in just my first 2 hours of the day! I've been doing a lot of attitude of gratitude Jedi mind tricks & it's helped enough to not take out my crap-o day on anyone else. But sometimes bad days happen. It's okay cuz most likely tomorrow will be less annoying.

The good parts of today include...

• My sweetie making me a quesadilla for dinner & treating me to pizza for lunch.
• Figuring out that I want my wedding dress to have a silhouette that is A-Line, a V-neck & an empire waist
• I actually got some work at work done & I get to go home in less than an hour.

That's it from me! Peace!

Can't Think of a Pithy Title

I'm tired. This moving business has me exhausted quite frankly. The minute I get home I start organizing until my partner makes me sit down. It's just so hard for me to relax when our home is still in disarray. But I got the bathroom organized!

Tonight I met the coolest guy. He's a sports writer who's very aware & his latest book looks at the intersection of sports & politics. Anyway he wrote an awesome article on the bridge collapse there & how it intersected with the groundbreaking of an undesired (by the majority of Minnesotans) new dome. He brought up a great point tonight about how so many in MN are enraged because certain rich beasts care more about making money off domes than caring about citizens safety. Katrina is more than a hurricane!

Anywho another interesting thing this evening was what I like to call an uncomfortable moment. Since I wish to not get into any potential trouble by talking about stuff at work too much I'll leave out a few details but hopefully convey the gist of the event. So I have a co-worker I'll call Jerry. Jerry draws & such. I asked Jerry why in most of his drawings where people are depicted there were so few if any people of color. I was simply curious & asked in a very casual way. He responded by saying "not everything is about race." Which I admit is true, however it didn't answer my question. So I told him that I was just wondering because it seemed like there were no folks of color in his pieces & wanted to know if he ever thought about it.

I got the same response back with an added "some folks just need the attention by making everything about race." And I said... well I had no response because were at work & my partner may or may not have to work with this dude sometimes & his response was clearly his way of saying he wished to not explore this topic with me.

But you know it's all good because some folks are scared to ask these questions. Why are there so few POC in certain things like television, baseball and art? And yes I know not everything is about race & perhaps it is simply my need for attention that makes me want to see faces in the places I work, the streets I live, the art I encounter & the activities I pursue, that are brown like mine (not the same exact shade mind you, any color of brown is good!). I mean it's nice when I see folks who may look like me represented in things that don't require them picking up after white folks in some way, shape & form.

Hmmm. Well I don't know what more to say about anything other than that I

I've Been Meme Tagged

This is a first but I love this kind-o-cheesy stuff at times so here goes...
Thanks to Zee for zee tag (hahahahahah!)

The theme here is Moaning (and not the good kind).

4 things that should go into room 101 and be removed from the face of the earth:

1. Mean or careless or ignorant or rude or talking on their cell phone during a transaction customers. In that same vain rude customer service as well.
2. The Electoral college. Utterly ridiculous voting system!
3. Cultural appropriation. Get your own damn culture!
4. The excuse that something is okay because it's art or free speech & therefore not worth examining.

3 things people do that make you want to shake them violently:

1. Pretentiousness or trying to be cool.
2. Pessimistic reactions to everything.
3. Smarmy and/or unwanted flirting.
(a bonus one is folks wearing too much fragrance)

2 things you find yourself moaning about:

1. Feeling like I have the body of an 80 year old when I'm only 32.
2. Willful ignorance.

1 thing the above answers tell you about yourself:

-a lot of things bug me & I need to cultivate more compassion for others.

Peace y'all!

Waiting Game

It's my 1 day off this week today. Got a call from a realtor saying she'd be by between 10:30 & noon to show the house I'm currently residing in that is also currently on the market. While my roommate is in NY I'm here dealing with realtors who leave all the lights on before leaving & wondering if they'll let my cat outdoors to get hit by a car. Mercury is so farking in retrograde!!!!

The realtor who called for today never showed up. I woke up for nothing. My urge was to call her and say something like this even though it's very much not true:

"Ummm excuse me but you said you were coming by noon today & I have some casual sex scheduled for 12:30pm today so can hurry up & come here so I can." Wouldn't that be funny to say? I didn't do it but I certainly felt like doing it!

My partner & I are also waiting to hear back on a rental we're really interested in. We checked out one of the townhomes next door that the neighbors kindly let us walk around in & it's super great. The townhouse we want has hardwoods & a fireplace for a bit under $750 per month. Not only would I personally be paying less rent but I'd get to go back to the neighborhood I love (North Portland a.k.a da hood). So at this point everything is simply in God/dess's hands & I personally have no choice but to surrender & stay in reality moment by moment.

I'm off to chill. Peace!
~F

Why Marriage Equality is Important to Me

I'm not going to sugarcoat this. I never wanted to get legally married. Not until now. Not until I found the love I had waited so very long for. And now I see the importance of marriage & why civil unions/domestic partnerships are not enough.

For many years I ran around saying "screw legal marriage, everyone should just do domestic partnerships." I believed it with all my heart & still very much feel it's a great way to go. It is not necessary to get legally married. Lawyers can draw up papers so that most things in a marriage can apply to a union. So why have I changed my mind for myself?

I suddenly understand what deep love means & how important it is to protect it to the fullest extent possible. Legal marriage makes this possible. To want your partner & family to have as many provisions as possible to keep the family sustained & healthy is an appropriate response to such strong feelings. Don't get me wrong, legal marriage in and of itself can't keep a family from harm, divorce or problems. But when love is right & life is tough, legal marriage can help. Take for instance, the two things our state (Oregon) with it's domestic partnership legislation doesn't cover: after death benefits & immigration.

• As noted in the Willamette Week article written by Byron Beck legal domestic partnerships would still leave a surviving partner unable to receive the deceased partners social security benefits. You could be together for longer than a married couple but still not receive the dead partners social security after death. I cannot even begin to fathom that my partner would not be able to get my social security benefits for one reason only: because she's female. If we have children & grandchildren I would want them along with my beloved to be able to receive all the monies that I worked my ass off for. It would be the way I would want it & legal marriage provides for that. Not having access to that is not only unfair but unjust & discriminatory.


• Immigration and love. Yes the two happen! If the bill Gov. Kulongoski signed goes through it still means that if a US citizen falls in love with someone from another country, even Canada, the partner wishing to immigrate here would not be able to. This means a mixed citizenship couple could be physically torn apart at any time because the non-citizen could be deported. Legal marriage protects against this & keeps the couple together.

Let's not forget that all the other benefits that legalized domestic partnership would afford a couple would not be carried on to any other state. Only legal marriage for all partners in all states would guarantee a couple all the benefits & provisions no matter where in the US they go.

The love I feel for my partner is so strong that I want her to be able to get all the help & comfort possible. Legal marriage provides help and shows to all that our commitment is so strong that we feel the privileges marriage affords are not to be taken lightly but are cherished & to be used to benefit the family to make us better so we can better for others. That the benefits of legalized marriage can be used to enhance our comfort so we can be better citizens of our country of the heart & the country we're supposedly equal to all, in. Is saving money by filing joint taxes, getting each others social security after death & being recognized as lifelong partners legally important? Hell yes! Relationships no matter how wonderful are work. The labor of love is important work that benefits the individual, couple & all around them A real & deep commitment to stay together no matter what is one of the most important things a person can do & it's extremely serious. If the law can provide a bit of ease for a couple with some tax breaks & post death financial support than so be it. Our country should support real love between two people and legal marriage makes that possible.

Same sex marriage does not interest me. Marriage equality does. To me this issue is not about the right for gays & lesbians to get married. It's about stopping discrimination based on gender or the sex of our partners. The size, shape & appearance of one's genitals is not the determining factor in commitment. It's that a union between two people who care deeply for another is worth the seriousness of lifelong togetherness. And I believe even most married straight couples would agree that they married their partners for love & not solely for what is in their pants.

Peace!
~F

My Latest Post on TTL/Why I Hate the Term Exotic

This one was about if Rosie O'Donnell is a role model to lesbians. Go here http://tinyurl.com/2hhkoz to read my post. Here are some of my past thoughts on her. Though I'm glad she apologized I still don't think much of her.

This weekend I had a customer at work come up to me and say "you're so exotic looking, what are you." Granted she was smiling & I suppose trying to compliment. But it got me thinking about what the term exotic to the mainstream American mind. I found this great post from the former Mixed Media Watch & thought I'd link it. In addition to that post I wish to mention just how feeking shitty it feels when someone calls me exotic. I'm a mid-western Catholic. I went to an inner city high school, had regular friends & did regular teenage stuff. I loved, hated, gossiped & made-out. My childhood though dramatic in many a moment was ordinary in it's dysfunction & my family members are all Minnesotans who still say "yah-you-betcha." Nothing about my life is exotic. Yet based solely upon my skin tone I'd perceived to be that way.

I'm reading the book New Moon by Stephanie Meyers and at one point in the book she refers to a female character who has brown skin as "pretty in an exotic kind of way." I nearly stopped reading the book. I'm only continuing the thing because it's about vampires & pretty good. But I think I need to write the author and ask her just what the hell she meant by that. Does it mean someone of color can't be a regular kind of pretty? How many classifications of pretty do we need? Must brown skin & beauty equal exotic? Exotic to me means "different" & "other."
And different & other are often really nice ways of saying less than. I'm no less a person because my parents fucked & made me.

So you may wonder just what did I say to this misguided young woman when she asked. I lied & said I was adopted & didn't know. Sometimes it's fun to do that & see all the things people try to project onto you. I just nodded at her guesses and said "I don't know...maybe." And if I had thought of it I would have asked her what it even mattered anyway. Why was it important to her. But my guess is she wouldn't have been able to examine her heart enough at that moment to answer & quite frankly I didn't care that much to have a discussion.

It's hard to know how to react when people say "you're so beautiful...exotic...what are you?" I know they're in part trying to compliment so I don't want to be all bitchy about it but on the other hand ignorance is not my shade of bliss & if I can prevent another person going though the silliness of such questions, I'd perhaps want to try. Well I'm off to have pizza with my beautiful & just plum pretty girlfriend. Thank goddess she she's my soul & not just my skin!

That's It. I'm Movin' to Canada

Well not quite yet but after reading an article in the New Republic about a truly vile man named Andrew Roberts visiting the "White" house I'm convinced it's time to look into immigrating. If you wish to read the article I suggest you Google New-Republic-Andrew-Roberts and then click. If I gave you the link you'd have to subscribe. Anywho I found the article via this great post by Too Sense. Good lawd I just don't know how much more I can take. Why are people like Roberts invited for a cozy visit to the WH when there is so much real work the prez should be doing. *Sigh* This shows even more just how aligned the current administration wants to be with imperialism. It's just all so gross. Pardon me while I have a pessimistic rant. I just feel like one day some asshole like bushwhack is going to get in the office of "da people" and round up all us brown folks & do bad things. I know I know. I promise it's only temporary paranoia. I just really question this country sometimes because of our brutal history. I mean manifest destiny was taught to be a good thing to so many youngsters & you can ask any Native person if it was good. The answer will be NO.

Okay I'm done being negative. Do I believe things can get better? Hell yes. The only constant is change right so that means things have to get better at some point. There is so much more America can be. It's about not giving up. But first things first. Self care. And if living in a country where racists are given carte blanche to the WH I may have to live where it's a little less stressful (though not perfect, as no place unfortunately ever is or will be) so I can continue to fight, breathe, listen & teach.

Okay so on to something kewl. Listened to an older episode of Addicted to Race and it's a very good show & you can connect to it here. Anywho a woman named Claire Light was a guest and she talked about mixed race issues and she said some wonderful stuff. I'll have to re-listen to the episode to give her multiracial. Also a great quote from Claire. Here it is. Enjoy y'all!
Now is the time for us to really recognize what the roots of racism are, which is a fear of cultural difference. It's not a fear of skin color difference. It's a fear of the cultural difference skin color points to. And that is all about the fear of difference period.

Peace!

Yeah the Shooter was Asian...What does that have to do with Anything?

So on Racialicious I made a comment off a post about how now that we know the gunman was Asian what would the backlash be based on his ethnicity. Here's what I said:

I hate to add yet another comment but here goes…

I find it interesting that the “settlers” & “pioneers” who immigrated here illegally caused the greatest amount of carnage this country has ever seen. Not only that were still very much affected by the brutality of people who are considered “founders” of this country. If only background checks could have been done then…

Bringing this young mans ethnicity & migration status into this tragic event only takes away from what in my humble opinion is the heart of the matter- violence. Regardless of this persons background his violence is a reflection of a culture that embraces violence. We love/hate violence here. And everywhere I suppose. All humans are capable of great beauty & great harm. No one is exempt & to pretend that race, nationality, gender, sexuality or anything else has anything to do with what folks are capable of is silly & defeats progress to peace.~F
Posted 17 Apr 2007 at 3:40 pm

I know I have more thoughts on all this but I'm pretty tired & fighting off a potential cold so I'm just going to leave this for now. I just wish some folks didn't feel a need to get all racist & shit when something awful happens. It's not like when a white person commits a crime on this level you see POC saying out loud "we shouldn't let white folks into the country" or "see how those white people are." I mean maybe we think this at times & historically it would be fair to feel that way due to the great atrocities done to POC by whites at the "beginning" of the US of A. But we don't get broadcasters to speculate on how whites or men or whatever are a force of terror. And that folks is privilege in a nutshell. Peace!

Love & Happiness

Was listening to some Al Green this morning and thank goddess because I was starting to think & we all know that ain't good. I got to thinking about this whole Imus thing. Then I got to thinking about the co-worker who complained about having to learn about white privilege & I just started to feel bitterly angry. This happens from time to time. As a QWOC how could it not. But for me I know my anger helps no one (especially myself) unless I take peaceful, happy hearted action. Why take such a seemingly whimsical approach to the racism, sexism & homophobia that swirls around us? Because if I don't I'll explode and that will help no one.

Sometimes people of non-color seem to think that POC have issues. That POC are bringing up the "race thing" for no reason other than to make PONC (people of non-color) feel guilty. They wonder why we bring up our color, our experiences, our pain. Well quite frankly we wouldn't bring it up if ignorant white dudes didn't feel it necessary to remind up of our "place" in American society. That if we play basketball & were Black women were simply nappy headed ho's. None of those women on the team said "hey were going to bring attention to ourselves and issues of race by calling ourselves derogatory things." No it was a white heterosexual middle aged male who felt a need to talk shit about a group of women who only want to play basketball. These women had no political agenda, yet here they are smack dab in the middle of having to remember being a Black woman to some folks means being an ugly slut. That's what nappy & ho translate to.

And on a personal note why the hell should I have to listen to some white guy complain about having to deal with his inherent privilege. Why should I be reminded that some white folks think racism is my problem, when I never brought up the damn topic in the first place. Yeah it's my problem they want to talk shit about folks of color, queers, women and so on. Yeah it's my problem when they say something stupid & I have a feeling about it. Yeah it's my problem that they are racist. No it's their problem. And I'm not going to take on anyone else's problems. After all I go to al-anon.

So I could sit here & stew about the injustice of it all. That when white folks say racist things it's funny and when I confront them on it I'm just being a "sensitive" girl. But I say fuck it! I'm not going to let anyone's ignorance kill my spirit. I'm gonna thrive and help others to thrive. I'm not going to give myself a heart attack from the stress of injustice. I'm not going to scream & hit & hate. What works best is to first & foremost love myself and be happy. I'm going to be happy no matter what some fool thinks of me or the folks like me. Even if it's my own people. Then I'm going to be of service. Tell my truth and hope that in doing so others may suffer a little less at the hands of intolerance & prejudice. And then I'm gonna relax. And every time some a-hole feels a need to remind me they think I'm less than human I'm going to grow stronger in love & joy. I'm going to know that much more how lucky I am to not be one of those people. I'll know I'm free. QWOC's I believe they hate our freedom. Our freedom to shine in the face of their wish to crush our spirits. Let's not let them take it!

Here's an awesome link called How to Suppress Discussions of Racism. Learn it & know it well.

Some are pissed about this Imus thing because they think it was just freedom of speech. And I agree that freedom of speech is essential. With freedom comes consequences though. Yes we can say whatever we want. That is our right. We are also free then to take whatever consequences that come from what our words present & represent. If I call my boss a name, I may get fired. I'm free to say something mean & free to get fired after I say it. It's very silly to expect that there are no consequences for our words & actions. So when I hear someone get upset that Imus got punished I'll remember that in a free country he was free to speak & free to learn what his words can teach. I sure hope he & his ilk will get that someday.
Peace!

Happy Mutha F-ing Easter!

Lent. This year I have not followed any tradition for Easter except giving up something for Lent. This year I gave up guilt & it has worked quite well. Yesterday I ate this lovely little cheesecake cupcake from Peets while doing an information shift at my place of employment. A customer came up with a question right as I was about to take a big ol' bite. He was kind and told me he was sorry for interrupting & I explained that my job is first & foremost to help him and that I could eat my cupcake any ol' time. He told me my treat looked good & wished he could have a treat but that it was Lent.

And for a moment I felt like "damn, I'm the worst friggin Catholic ever." Worse I realized it was Good Friday no less & I should not even be eating anything. Then I remembered that since I have not been to Mass in years & am brazenly queer & have had lots & lots of wonderful & sometimes weird sinful experiences that I could screw feeling bad for eating a cupcake. If I was going to feel bad for that then perhaps I ought to feel bad for that one night stand 9 years ago with the girl who had a bad haircut who was kinda shitty in bed. Anyway...

So tomorrow I work. And am glad for it. And as much as I'm glad Jesus rose on the third day I'm even more glad that this year for 40 days & 40 nights I've been guilt free & much more forgiving of myself and others. And really isn't that what the good Lord wants? For us to love each other and not put our ridiculous judgements upon ourselves & others. People are just people. And I am a people, I mean person. Queer or not. Of Color or not. Female or not. I'm just a mix of animal, vegetable & mineral with blood & emotions and ego coursing through it all. Just like everyone else. So today I can stop feeling bad for being a human & stop being so darn annoyed with everyone else's imperfect humanity. You know it feels so good I almost want to go to Easter service. Instead though I'll eat a triple chocolate Klondike bar!

Now for your viewing pleasure a pic my my sweetie took of me the other day. We were blowing bubbles outside her house & it was so fun and since it's raining here in Portland, I thought this would cheer. BTW I'm hopefully seeing the film Grindhouse tonight. Looks like a fun film! Peace!

Pace Yourself!

General Pace doesn't want homo's fighting "wars" with him. Well effing good. The Uk's Pink News has the scoop. He's kinda sorry he said that his personal views of gays being immoral were expressed and knows he should have talked more about policy. Umm okay. Man I just don't even know where to start.

Lately I've been thinking about how strange it is some folks get so upset about queers. I mean just because it seems different for them doesn't mean it's weird or different to us. Why can't intolerant folks just accept what might be right for you may not be right for some. I mean it takes different strokes...literally! Ha hahahahah.
Peace!

Photo courtesy of unprofound