NUke Rude

Ada beberapa cara untuk berjaya. Berusaha dengan gigih. Dan juga menarik perhatian dengan gigih. Kedua-dua cara ini terbukti berkesan. Berjaya yang aku maskudkan di sini, bukanlah hanya tertumpu kepada kerjaya. Ia juga boleh diaplikasikan kepada pelajaran. Dan blogging.

Kreativiti itu memang perlu. Penting juga sebagai perencah rasa, terutamanya dalam bab penulisan dan penghasilan grafik. Sebab semua ini boleh menarik perhatian orang lain yang ingin bekerjasama dengan anda, atau dalam perihal blogging -  pembaca.

Perlukah untuk kita mengaplikasikan kriteria 'seductive'. Menarik perhatian. Menggoda. Teaser. Dalam hal ini, bukan lah bermaksud dan tertumpu kepada aksi-aksi lucah semata-mata. Tetapi mendedahkan perkara-perkara menarik secara sedikit demi sedikit; bagi menarik perhatian org lain untuk membaca.

Seorang kenalan blog pernah berkata kepada aku:

Tafsiran kasarnya, 'kau ni menggoda orang lain'. Not in the sexual way.

Mungkin ya. Mungkin tidak. Sebab itu aku selalu terapkan unsur-unsur cliffhanger dalam penceritaan aku. Dan selalu juga aku tease pembaca aku dengan gambar-gambar yang pelik-pelik. Macam dalam gambar di atas.

And I thot it's a new definition of creativity. I may be right ahead. I may be left behind. This might be true enough, or else it's definitely a crystal-clear wrong. And bullshit.

Up to you. Either to believe or remain in denial.

Recently, in newspaper, I do came crossed with an article or news saying that 'No need to worry for the climate changes', something like that lah. For the public, like me... how come we aren't allowed to worry? These days, rasa panasnya sangat lain macam! Is this what do they call Global Warming? How does it relates to us? And how does it relates to the Earth Hour?

Mungkinkah Earth Hour yang menjadi punca kehangatan semua ini? Atau kesan pergerakan Bumi akibat earthquake and tsunami in Japan? Only Allah knows. To cut it short, lately sangat panas. That's all.

I got the time to go out and went to some places. Just hang out with my friend, watching people in few different places. With lots of ragam! We can say that Malaysia is a tropical-climate country. Hujan and panas saja all the year. Itu saja musim yang kita ada; with exception of musim Durian, Rambutan, and other musim buah. But the rest... tiada. No No. No musim winter di Malaysia. At least, not yet.

So, no need lah you people nak berpakai jaket-jaket tebal dan jaket-jaket berbulu while you're crossing on the road; in front of other motorists. Kau tak rasa panas ke weh? Seriously...?

That's why kadang-kadang aku tak faham dengan budak-budak baru nak up ni. Even though you people minat sangat pada fesyen-fesyen Barat ni semua... but sometimes, just be realistic ya. This is Malaysia. Thot that orang-orang macam ni ada zaman aku sekolah menengah dulu je...

These days, when people ask you "So, do you have a blog?", most of us will say "Yes." or maybe "Ahahaha. I know it's quite embarrassing, but honestly, I don't have a blog." Choose the 2nd answer will make other people think you're such an outdated-person. Or else, maybe he/she will think that "You're boring...".

But hey! who said that everyone now must have a blog? Nobody. It's just our perception towards oneself, and another. There's no need to have a blog if you don't really need one. Lagipun, kalau banyak sangat blog, dunia internet ni pun jadik pening! Overcrowded.

And that's what happened when someone became a 'blogger' sebab ikut-ikutan. They create a blog for the sake of nak update dgn trend or something. Blog is not a trend, I guess. It's just a platform for you to improve your writing skills, your PR skills, and also a platform to ber-bisnes. Jual-jual tudung, kuih-muih, all the tempahan baju. Even my mom has a blog for her antiques. Antiques! See? Who said that orang-orang tua tak tahu berjalur-lebar?

But these people, created a blog with a reason. Maybe a lot of reason. Now, let us ask ourself again, why do we created a blog? Is it for fun, to show off, to publish all the porns, the not-necessaries? Or we just created them to share with others with the good things, the nasihats, the religious facts so that we'll be always remember the God..?

Or, we just created it for no concrete reason and ready to go with the flow?

Pelik kan? Lately, I always came crossed with blog that tells nothing except "Hi readers, today I ate Taugeh! So good!".

Is it the new trend of blogging right now? Am I being the one who duduk bawah tempurung?

It's 2nd of February 2011. As I disembark from the couch at the KL Sentral station, all I can see is the selfishness of everyone. People tend to be so selfish whenever they see the gerabak which was already-full-with-people. I wonder why are they so bangang to berasak-asak to get into that 'sardine-pack' couch? I feel so confuse.

While waiting for the interchange train, at the platform:-

This white guy, carrying his daughter in his arm with no one bother to offer him a seat. And there's also an old lady carrying a big red plastic bag, terhuyung-hayang right and left, also standing  - just few centimetres away from the yellow line marked on the edge of the platform 3. In contrast, the youngsters; sitting; are damn busy chatting with each other - talking about the new clothes that they'd bought previously in MidValley.

While waiting for the interchange train, at the platform:-

There's one Bangladeshi, in which I think he cannot control and unable to hold anything longer; threw out. Vomit. Facing the wall. Near the public phone. Again, no one seems to bother about his condition. Was he sick or something? Was he an alien or something that everyone started to look at him with disgust-faces? After all, he's still a human being, right? Just that he threw out in a public place.

Then, the train came and everyone is making their ways. At that time, I'm heading Batu Caves. The third couch was easily filled with Bangladeshi, Indians, Malays, and some foreigners within few minutes. Everyone managed to get a seat. But then, I noticed something. I was in the middle-end. I have 2 Kelantanese sitting at my back talking about their holiday plans. In front of me were few Indians, speaking a language that I didn't understand. Everyone seems to be in a specific group; talking about something; pointing at something; and of course, being selfish from one group and another. Everything around me was a community with one sikap; SELFISH.

And I started to wonder; am I being selfish too?

I looked out to the orange-evening skies. And smiled. I thot I knew the answer.

Do you really-really remember the moment you have a crush on someone? Probably not. How about this; do you really-really remember the moment you fall in love with someone? And do you remember who's that lucky girl / dude?

If you ask me that questions, my answers probably will be "Nope". Because I am too busy playing with the books during my school time. I am too busy to bother about having a crush or accidentally fall in love with someone. Why did I mention 'school time'? Because I believed that most of you had crush / fall in love during school time. And that's explain why there's need of Larangan Untuk Bercinta a.k.a Couple in the Buku Peraturan Sekolah.

We're forbidden to fall in love during our school times. Do you ever wonder why? Me...? Maybe yes. Twice. The first time was back in 2000; when I first read the Buku Peraturan Sekolah after mom bought it from Kedai Buku SMKTM. I was in Form 1 at that time. The second time was probably when I was in Form 4; entering the MRSM; during the taklimat by the Pengetua about the Peraturan Sekolah & Asrama. I think, then only I started to have a pandangan about elderly people - they'd love to show their so-called power to stop the youngsters from doing things that they like. Well, old people are being old people. We can't blame too much, right?

We're getting older anyway..? In a lot of aspect.

Let me rewind my personal life a little bit. Back in 2002; Form 3. Apparently on that time, I was a member of Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya. Those who were wearing a purple uniform, with a blue necktie and a name tag on the pocket. Luckily I didn't wear any glasses; or else you guys will have this imagination of nerdy guy with a huge backpacks walking down the stairs. That's totally not me. I'm just the guy with purple uniform. And doing fine. I can say that I have a good feature on my face; but it's just not the right time for me to have a girlfriend during that time. I am a little bit childish.

But not after I realised that everyday there will be people.. and people coming over to me and tell me about their so-called love problems. As a PRS, of course I need to look professional and able to suggest a solution for those broken heart(ers). I told them to pray hard, get themselves closer to the God, and just focus on the studies... just name it; whatever crap that you can say. And they actually listened to me!

You see? How bitch someone can be? Acting so powerful of handling problems, and whatever difficulties in their life; but the fact is that little 'me' that time was a Zero-Knowledge about what do they called LOVE. I feel bad. I feel I've cheated a lot of them with those nasihats.

Am I really... that bad?

The cikgu in the class has always reminded us that we need to study smart from now; so that we won't be suffer from 'unemployment' after we left the menara gading. Literally, I am not quite sure that we have a Menara Gading in Malaysia. But I know that there's Menara Alor Star in Kedah. Well, you can see it from the Lebuh Raya Utara Selatan; facing north, it will be seen on your left.

But that is not the main idea. It's not about menara at all. 5 years from 2004; in June; I'm already a grown-up guy. Who eventually earned the title of penganggur. But that wasn't long until I got my very first job; as an Project Sales Executive in a local privatised-company. I cannot say the company's name, can I? After all, it's all about my personal life.

It was fun working over there; where I had a very good & responsible Manager, and then the people around is warm welcoming me on board as one of the staff. None of them are cold, but I can say some of them are cold-hearted..? That they tend to use other people to finish their own tasks. That's when I started to understand the difference between sitting in the class; and sitting in the office. Or in the meeting.

I missed my cikgu English. Ms. Sarah Amzah. She got married with a Dutch; and stayed over there. My last gift to her was a blue-white cuboid candle; wrapped with the transparent book cover; with a small card on it. She claimed that it's her favourite; I mean, the candle. Obviously not the wrapping; or the card. And I also missed my cikgu Saliza. She thought me Mathematics, Bahasa Melayu and 1 other subject during Standard 2 & 3. And oh, she loves to gift the excellent students some presents; to motivate them and the rest of the class to do well in every Ujian Bulanan & semester exam. Well, I always got #1 in class, for 5 semester in a row!

But I don't really miss my previous office. I mean, I miss some of the people; of course, the good ones. But those who're not so good; why should I miss them? It's better for me to miss my old-buddy and my other classmates like Asyraf Yaakub, Nurul Iman, and Abdul Ghani. It's been years that I didn't see them. That's what you call worth-to-miss-that-kind-of-people.

Then, I'd just realize that this is why older people or the senior staffs always said to the new staffs:

"Welcome to the Ugly-Working-World!"

I thot I got their points right now.

Back in 2004. I was in the final year of school. A boy who will be facing the big challenge in his 16 years old time. What else; the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia. During those days in MRSM, I hardly go back home eventhough that we're allowed to do so once in every month, if I'm not mistaken lah. Ended up, I am not even bother to go home for more than 2 months. For me; and at that moment, I feel greatly independent and it's like a big record of my own.

The fact is that my home is about 200 km away from that MRSM; and some more I hardly get enough money to buy the bus ticket which cost me RM18.90 per trip. To menambah perisa to the reason I'm not going back to the hometown is that I'm holding the Bengkel Seni key, that some of my friends might need to use it over the weekend to finish their projek seni, and I am so lazy to trust them to hold the key; until the end of the Form 5, eventually I pass it back to Cikgu Julianaasnizah Omar.

And that is when I think that I'm getting closer to Angah. Angah is my sister. We're 7 years separated; in between there's another sister, and 1 brother in which I called them Alang and Abang Uda. Obviously because they're the 3rd and 4th among 6 of us.

Whenever my pocket started to kering, I will call mom using the telephone provided by Telekom Malaysia in which the call will be charged to the person on the other side. In that case, the student (like me) will no need to pay a single cent for the calls made. Now that I realized that I had burdened my already-full-with-other-commitment-mom, with those 15 minutes calls that I usually made every Thursday.

No. I am not home-sick. I'd just need mom's help in terms of financial.

Along and Angah totally understand that how loser can you be when you're staying in Asrama, and have no money even to buy the Apollo sticks that only cost you 20 cents. At that time, I do have savings, but rasa malu nak tukar at the Kedai Koperasi or the Cafeteria. After all, it's all about your air muka.

I know, if mom doesn't have any money to send over to me via Pos Laju, then Angah will be the one responsible for taking out her own money and mailed it over to me. Of course, using the Pos Laju as well. She will also bear the cost of the pos laju registered mail as well. I think, it only cost around RM 1.70. Angah will send 2 pieces of RM 50 note inside the well written letter; asking me to use the money wisely and don't forget to study elok-elok. So that bila I dah berjaya, everyone will be happy.

Angah. How can you be so good; sacrificing your investment in ASB, and send the money all the way from KL to Penang for your little brother. I owe you so much that I'm not sure how to pay all the good deeds that you have thrown over to me.

And now I know that it is now my turn to help my younger sister. I cannot complaint right? After all, these are the reasons why we need our siblings.

Don't you think so?

The night was a bit warmer than the previous one. Forcing me to berbogel-dada, like what my ex-room-mate in MRSM said last time. It means tak berbaju. Belenging. This warm night reminds me on how I have tried to be so independent in my life. And how badly I wanted to prove to my other friends that I am such a guy; who's always has a cigarette put sandwiched between the alpha male lips; and running back and forth in the padang bola with a yellow jersey sticking on the sweaty chest & abs.

And that was so immature of me. Luckily it was like... 8 years ago?

Today, the night is still like those days in the school. And precisely at this moment, I am sitting on top of kerusi kayu antik; owned by my mom. And I am berbogel-dada as usual. It is not like I don't like to wear shirt; or that I love to see my body... because I only have a nice abs; not chest. I am a skinny dude. Yet, the bulu-bulu has started to fill up the empty-center-space of my perut. Playing with those bulu somehow arouse me. I feel great.

Then, I remember how my mom slowly made me become independent in my life. At least, now, I can go to the immigration and register for a passport without anybody accompanying me. And of course, I pay for the passport with my own money.

Those days in SMK Melawati, mom always asked me to go to Kedai Tenaga (TNB) to pay the bills, while she stayed in the car; outside; not coming out as she's double-parked. The same thing goes when she needed to send some registered mail to someone. She'll be in the car, while I will be the one who do the walking-far-away, and take the nombor giliran, and waited for my number to be called. Only to find that the money that mom gave me sometimes is not enough that I have to use my baki duit belanja to top up. Being 14 years old & in Form 3 that time, you cannot blame me why sometimes I preferred to stay back late in the school so that I won't be facing the same situation again & again.

How mean!

15 years old. Form 4. In a MRSM. Boarding school.

It's a yeay for me as I now no need to face the walking-take number-waiting-not enough money thingy. For the first time I feel free. Free from the babbles, all the nasihats, and all the 'jangan lupa siapkan kerja sekolah' talking. But that wasn't long until I realized that I'd just put my life into a guarded fences of Rules & Laws of STUDENT'S LIFE. I can't do this. I can't do that. This is forbidden. If you do this, your name will be announce in monthly assembly. And oh, not to forget; the seniors who sometimes make you look so stupid.

Surprisingly, I survived that 2 years. Of course, 1 year being a super-poyo Senior with a lot of peminats ranging from Form 1 until Form 4. Ranging from girls... to boys. But during my student's life in MRSM, I hardly miss solat Subuh. Thanks to my room-mates who were Biro Dakwah & Agama, Biro Akademik & Biro Komunikasi. Both Biro Akademik & Komunikasi wear songkok all the time, so I assumed that they perform the solat 5 kali sehari as well. Pendek kata, I was a good-boy and calon menantu pilihan ramai-lah those days.

College time. I thanked my parents for their willingness to support me with the studies. Both financially, and motivationally. I am so happy that I have started to understand the word independent. I don't depend on my room-mates to wake me up for Subuh; as Syaitan has already helped me pulling the selimut and asked me to sleep instead of solat. I, sometimes felt very lazy to go to the Kelas Ko-K at 5 pm. Instead, I went to the court to play squash with K.E. Eventhough I (always) lost to him, but we enjoyed the games with the sweats & laughs. He, somehow became a brother of mine there... in the court. He kept me motivated.

University. I am 75% (in-)dependent. Yeap. Financial is crucial. My PTPTN was just enough for the expensive-university-fees. Leaving me only RM170 to survive the whole semester. No wonder youth generation hates the government. They give the full loan to the well-doing-family's kid; but not those who actually need the loan more than them. I guess.

Back to the real life. It's already 11.28pm when I started to write this paragraph. I just got back home from fetching my younger sister from her workplace. Thanks to the celebration of Thaipusam, I have to take the alternative roads which are full-ed with bonggols & junctions, and the lopak-lopak too. That my journey took longer than usual by 10 minutes. I can't blame the JKR as they berJasa Kepada Rakyat very well. And I can't blame the Thaipusam, because it's their people's belief. And of course, I cannot blame my sister! Because she's not totally independent yet.

Unlike us. The older people.