Bbbeeaach

What is one to do when the beach is cold and the only flags flying all week are purple and yellow? Well... one has to be creative.

My only goal for the week was to make sure that I did swim in the ocean, and I am happy to report that I accomplished that goal as soon as we arrived.

We pulled into the parking lot and quickly unloaded the van. After several brisk trips hauling all of our things up two flights of stairs ( I was wondering during the act how long we were staying as it seemed like we had enough for a month.), the kids and I ran to the beach. The air was a little cold, but we did not care because we were at the beach! Yeah, the beach... we love the beach. Once on the beach, the kids began building a sandcastle while I headed aggressively for the water. A little cold air was not going to deter me from swimming in the ocean. My aggression eased a bit once I entered the water... wow, it was cold. As I stood ankle deep in the water, I thought about my goal for the week. This was suppose to be the warmest day... if I did not get in today then my chances of getting in later in the week were slim to none.

I began to rationalize that my goal was just a goal and nothing more. After all, it was not that important to swim in the ocean, I thought. Then, I thought again, yes, it was important. I am going to swim in this water if it kills me. Of course, I was hoping that it would not kill me. I looked down and realized I was still only ankle deep and that cold numb feeling in my feet... was not going away like it was suppose to when one adjusts to the temperature. I wiggled my toes hoping to increase my circulation and adjust better to the water. They still felt cold and numb. I hugged myself hoping to squeeze a little warmth into my toes. Nothing helped.

I took a few more steps, advancing up to my knees. Now, it was really cold, and to make matters worse, I found myself in the section where the waves were breaking onto the shore. So, not only were my legs numb from the knees down, but I was being splashed by the breaking waves. Each drop of water hit me like a little snowball. My teeth were rattling now. I looked around and realized that there was no one else in the water. What am I doing? Why is this so important to me? Well, because it is the beach; I love the beach I thought as my body shook from the cold air and water.

I was now ten minutes into my ordeal. A swim in the ocean had never ever been an ordeal to me, and yet I had just used that word in my mind to describe this current experience. My legs were still cold and the splashing water felt like little daggers hitting my skin. I took a deep breath and advanced to my waist. I heard a scream and turned to see who was in trouble, and suddenly realized, it was me. That cold numb feeling had advanced to my waist, and it did not feel good at all. My legs no longer worked. I looked into the water to check and see if they were still there. There they were in water... nothing missing.

I looked back at the beach. It looked so warm and comfortable. There was my chair... just waiting to be used, and there was my towel... my warm thick towel. I looked back at the water, and then again at the towel. I told myself that in order to touch that towel I would have to get wet. I stuck both my hands into the water and smiled... no cold numb feeling, but I soon realized that this was due to the fact that they were already wet. At this point, little victories were welcomed, and I used my cold wet hands to wet my chest and shoulders. I immediately regretted leaving my shirt on my chair.

I advanced a little farther into the water and realized it was time to get this over; it was now or never. I took a large breath and dove into the cold surf. I stayed under for a minute so no one could hear my screams. As I came to the surface, I thought to myself, it is not that bad, but no matter how hard I tried I could not convince myself that it was not that bad. It certainly was. I swam around a bit, but could not rid my body of the cold numb feeling. I could not hear myself think due to the noise my teeth were making. Finally, after a full three minutes, I decided enough was enough. I swam to shore and rose to walk to the beach and immediately drop back into the water... the air was colder. Wow! I mustered all my energy and ran full stride to my chair and towel. A towel had never felt so warm and good.

I sat in that chair wrapped in that towel watching my children build the coolest sandcastle, happy that I was at the beach with my family at last. Yes, it was cold! Yes, there were several chances for rain, but none of that mattered. The beach is the beach. As our week draws to an end, I have not yet made it back in the water fully. I am hoping tomorrow will provide me that opportunity.

Here's hoping your vacation time with your family is restful, relaxing and re-charging. Mine certainly has been. Blessings!

Bitter Cold

In an attempt to continue my sworn allegiance to optimism, I thought long and hard about something positive to stay regarding the current freezing cold weather.

And, this is all that I have.

This hideous weather gives me a little more time to rid myself of that holiday poundage. There you go... optimism!

Random Thoughts...

Just thinking about some of the random thoughts that have become trapped in my mind. I will release them through this post.

Here we go!


I think most people think the word "yield" is a synonym for the word "stop."

Are there actually people who do all of their banking through an ATM machine, and do it on Saturday afternoon hanging out the window of their car?

It is a statistical certainty that the line you pick at the grocery store will be the slowest line only if you are in a hurry.

Why is it that those with little reason to be haughty are haughty, and those with every reason to be haughty are humble?

Those who never apologize or admit to wrong doing are doomed to a life of both.

Do children really act differently when there is a full moon, or do they act differently because the adults watching over them act differently when there is a full moon?

When we debate our children and lose is that saying more about them or us?

Why is it that big tractor-trailer trucks only choose to pass on the left when they are on a hill?

There must be a law that states the following: once you put your vehicle into cruise control, you shall stay in cruise control as long as you possible can no matter the line of cars behind you or the car on your right that is going the same speed as you.

I think the self check-out line was designed by a man for all other men as a way to accelerate our exit from stores. Thank you so very much!

Have you noticed that when you are walking down a sidewalk those younger than you will not get out of the way while those older than you will. That seems backwards.

The deterioration of society started with the shopping mall.

There is a huge difference between happiness and joy, but most people think they are the same.

Most of us fall into two categories, getters and givers. We are either motivated by what we can give, or we are motivated by what we can get.

Why is it so hard for men to say they are sorry, but so easy for women?

There are no longer Democrats and Republicans; there are only politicians.

Men would rather risk personal assumptions about them than sit down and confront another man.

Today, most of us are loyal to self. There is no loyalty that supersedes self. All other loyalties submit to the loyalty to self.

Telling the truth does not mean as much as it once did. Most are afraid of it.

Living in a capitalist society reduces everything to money. That is great if you have a lot of money, but it is not so great if you do not.

I will leave you with this great quote. I hope you enjoy the humor of it as much as I did.


"I used to be a people person, but people ruined that for me."






 

Doing the Right Thing

This note provides a bit of humor for us, but it also provides much more. For instance, what would you do if you walked up to the front door of a home you were about to visit and actually found this note?

Would you ignore it?

Would you obey it?

Would you think it was a joke?

Would you take it seriously?

Would you knock, despite what it says?

Would you leave without doing anything?

Well, what would be the right thing to do? Is that not the question we all face each and every day; what is the right thing to do? There are many who think that each situation has an absolute "right thing" to do, and I used to be one of those people. But, I now think differently. Let me explain.

What would be the right thing to do here? Well, that would depend on many factors. Would it be to yell "ding" "ding" until someone comes to the door? Would it be to ignore it and just knock? Again, the answers to these questions depend on other factors that are "circumstantial" in nature (I recently learned this lesson from a close friend.).

For instance, one factor that should not be ignored is the relationship between you and the author of this note. If you know the author well and know that the author is a practical joker then, you would probably knock and walk right into the house, especially if you are an expected guest. If you did not know the author at all and were visiting this home for the very first time, then, you might be a bit confused on how to actually respond to the note in the right way, especially if this person is important. If you are in a different state or country and have never been to the home before, then, you would most likely not be caught yelling, "ding" "ding" loudly on the front porch of someone you don't know well in an area you do not know at all. Do you see how the right thing to do changes according to the circumstances (My friend is so very wise.)?

The question of what is right and wrong, and what is the right thing to do is not as easy as one might think, as evidenced by this post. There are many factors at play regarding right and wrong. I think sometimes we tend rush to judge others from our own perspective because we assume our own perspective and transfer it to every situation.  When we do this we fail to consider other perspectives, circumstances and possible factors involved, and end up judging more than doing the right thing.

The Far Side and Math!

Evidence Against Evolution

Too Funny

B. C. by Johnny Hart

Situational faith!

Good Grief!

Charles Schulz always penned life in a perspective to which almost everyone could relate.

Weather Prediction... not exactly science

One of my favorites cartoons... The Far Side

Another Funny Sign

I saw this amusing sign, and I thought it was a creative way to make an important point. I would definitely stay out of that yard!

Funny

Another funny sign that may be closer to reality than anyone wants to admit.

One of the best...

Commercials I have ever seen. Enjoy!

The Best...

I think this is one of the best bumper stickers I have ever seen!

Another Great Quote...

I read this the other day and found it very amusing. It is a quote from Demetri Martin, a young comedian. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

"I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I’m good at everything."

The Best Sick Excuse Ever!

The other day our school received the best sick excuse I have ever received in my entire career. Matthew Denny, one of our seniors and one of the best kids I have ever met, sent the following excuse. I trust you will enjoy it as much as I did!



I regret to inform you that my body is producing excessive pyrogens resulting in an elevation of my core temperature which will preclude my attendance of your intellectually stimulating allocution on Thursday. After discussion with my personal physician and nurse, and in an effort to prevent the sharing of this ailment with yourself or fellow classmates, I have determined to remain in my primary residence where proper nourishment, hydration, medication, and repose are readily available. Should there be given any assignments which are not posted on your website or in your syllabus, kindly submit them to my email so that I may tend to their completion prior to my hopeful return on Tuesday.

As always, I am your most humble student and servant in Christ,

Matthew

Calvin and Hobbes

The day Bill Watterson decided to end Calvin and Hobbes was a sad day for me. I've never read a comic strip that captured the humor found in human nature more perfectly. Here are a few of my favorites lines. Enjoy!

Calvin: I've got an idea, Dad. Maybe I'd get better grades if you offered me $1 for every "D", $5 for every "C". $10 for every "B", and $50 for every "A"!

Dad: I'm not going to bribe you Calvin, you should apply yourself for your own good.

Calvin: Rats. I thought I could make an easy four bucks.


Calvin: I've decided I want to be a millionaire when I grow up.

Dad: Well you'll have to work pretty hard to get a million dollars.

Calvin: No, I won't. You will.

Dad: Me?

Calvin: I just want to inherit it.


Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace?

Calvin: Too few role models.


Calvin: What grade did you get?

Susie: I got an "A."

Calvin: Really? Boy, I'd hate to be you. I got a "C."

Susie: Why on earth would you rather get a "C" than an "A"?!

Calvin: I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

Franz Climberhoffenoddle

As I grow older, I have come to the realization that I can no longer train alone; I need a trainer! I need someone to motivate me and get me up early in the morning to run, play basketball and lift weights. Well, here is my trainer...Franz Climberhoffenoddle.

Franz has worked with weights since he was two years old. Before Franz could crawl, he was juggling 5lb bags of sugar; at five he was serving as the jack for the family car when it was time to rotate the tires. Franz is one of the world's strongest men. He competes every year in the World's Super Strongest Man-That-Can-Move-More-Weight-Than-A-Bulldozer Contest. Just last year, he was able to pull a truck full of molten lava with his teeth on one leg up a 500 foot hill before the truck melted. There was just one problem; Franz severely pulled all of the muscles below his chest. The picture you see is of Franz at his lowest weight since childhood...175lbs. He is literally a shell of himself as 150lbs of his 175lb frame are now centralized above his chest...as you can sorta tell from the picture. Pray for Franz as he begins training for next year's competition; he hopes to push a fleet of tugboats full of lead across the English Channel during a hurricane with his head! Go Franz!




In case you have not figured it out...I love humor. This is a computer generated picture of a friend of mine who always keeps me laughing. I am very thankful for his humor, and the way he is always pointing me to the cross with his life. Thank you Alan for all that you do!

Insightful Thoughts of Steven Wright

The humor of Steven Wright makes me think. Here are a few of his best!

"If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?"

"Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?"

"Do Roman paramedics refer to IVs as "4's"?"

"Why are they called buildings, when they are already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?"

"Anywhere is walking distance, if you've got the time."

"Someone asked me if I slept well. I said no, I made a few mistakes."


By the way, I send everyone warm belated Easter blessings! Rejoice for He lives and is coming again!