Last night we had a first!

Since Thursday I been doing the cry it out method. It was very hard on me and Kayla and that is why I asked everyone their bedtime routines. I am very thankful for all who answered me. I also consulted a few friends who are mothers and my Mother In Law, and my husband. And they all agreed I was doing the right thing and soon enough I would see a change.

And they were all right and Im so glad they all got me through the nights. Kayla never cried for a long periods of times compared to a lot, or most babies. The longest period of crying she had was 45 minutes, I think on the 2nd or 3rd night of the CIO method. Each night after that she cried less and less.

Last night my friends, she cried twice. But, each time she only cried for a minute or 2 and was back to sleep. I only went in her room once to reinsert her binky and cover her back up.

Last night was the first night she went without a bottle! And the first time she cried as little as she did. I feel like a new person!

Here is a picture of her yesterday morning in her pajama's in her toy basket- bed head and all.

What camera do I use?

I had someone ask me what camera I use. I use Canon EOS Digital Rebel XT.
http://www.usa.canon.com/consumer/controller?act=ModelInfoAct&fcategoryid=139&modelid=11154

It's a wonderful camera, easy to use. Takes excellent pictures. Like this..






I think my photography skills have greatly improved among these past 8 months of daily picture taking. When Nick gets back home, we are going to upgrade and Im so excited about that.

Also, Kayla is so photogenic, and that always helps.

Here she is yesterday outside playing on her 8 months birthday with her new toy.
She started the day wearing a new dress I bought for her at the Sunday market, but had a leaky poopy diaper so I had to change her.





Also, Project Living Room is complete. Thank you Kate for helping me make this possible!

Mommies....help!

Check out Give Away A Day's give away for today!

Retail Therapy....yup, did it last night via Ebay while listening to my baby girl cry from her bed. It kills me to listen to it yet I know its for her and my own good. Her old bed time routine has went down the drain and I blame it on her teething.

She will wake up around 2 am when she is used to have a bottle, which she no longer wants or needs. And instead she just cries. She cries so hard she cant take a breath sometimes. I hate it. Yes, I Hate It. I H.A.T.E. it! Thursday and Friday night were torture with 45 minutes of this. Saturday night 30 minutes, Sunday night she did very good with not crying at all upon her 2 am waking and Sunday night 30 minutes of this.

This is so hard. It is so hard to do without Nick here. Its hard to get through it. Its hard for me to not cry with her. I wish Nick were to help me get through it. It would be so much better with him. But I knew when agreeing to marry him, that the military life would make me a single mother many times over and over. As much as I hate it, I wouldn't change it because it allows our marriage to be as great is it.

It's just hard. On the other hand, it's a good thing Nick isn't here to loose sleep over and be too tired for work.

Other mommies who read my blog...assure me Im doing the right thing by letting her cry and please tell me your bed time routine.

Oh, and what did I buy on Ebay you ask?

This Giant Wilton Cupcake Pan.


I originally planned to get Kayla a Mickey Mouse cake for her Birthday (which is only 4 months away exactly!) since she oh loves him so, but when I saw this, I had to have it for her.

Nick also wants one when he gets home.

Until these 2 dates, I will make a practice cake.
Its very simple to make Im told by someone else who made one for her daughter's birthday. 2 cake mix for the top half and 1 cake mix for the bottom half. Bake it. Put a thin layer of icing in between the 2 halves to make them stick together and you have a GIANT cupcake! After you frost it with tons of icing that is.

So...

So, finally Nick and I had a chance to see and talk to each other over the webcam today. He is still sitting in Qatar and most likely will be for 3-ish more days. He got to send me some pictures too. All pictures from his training in WI. The picture of him with a bloody arm is during his IV training. Its actually funny that it just so happened that his 'buddy' was the guy that couldn't get it right. Just like his last training before his last deployment. How come MY husband is always the one 'stuck' (no pun intended..lol) with these guys? At least he puts on a brave silly face I suppose and takes it without making the other guy feel like an idiot. I sure hope this other guy never has to come to the aid of someone.






I never did make my chocolate chip cookies. I ate one of my waffles this morning with blueberry syrup then because Kayla was fussy I did what I knew she would laugh at. I sat on the computer desk chair holding her tight and I spun us in the chair. The pain of teeth coming in was forgotten and she laughed. But then I felt like I was going to get sick. I felt my waffle so close to coming up and from then on I couldn't take the thought of coming near anything sweet.

So instead I wisked Kayla off into the car and to the Sunday market we went. I got her 3 dresses for only $10! My intention was to keep them for her very first Easter basket, but I'm not sure I can resist those pretty dresses until then.

8 months old

Kayla will be 8 months old tomorrow, on the 30th. 8 months. Seriously, it's so hard to believe how much time has passed. Everyday I am with her, I am still amazed that she is mine, forever.

Yesterday was a lazy day. We didn't do anything but go grocery shopping. I let Kayla play outside until it got too hot, which was only for about 15 minutes. While outside I got these pictures.

Today will be pretty much the same. Except I will be making chocolate chip cookies and lemon chicken. One of the wives from the deployed guys is 28 weeks pregnant and on total bed rest. I will be sharing dinner with her. And my recipe for lemon chicken will be on my recipe blog so watch out for it soon!

AAHH

Ahhhh, she ate dinner!!!!!!!!! Thanks so much everyone who left advice and past experiences.

You girls and guys never fail me when I need you.

I thank you for that.

Also got an email from my fabulous husband.


I am in Qatar right now. Google it and you will see where. We are waiting on our movement to head north and get settled in. This base here is awesome. Its like a vacation. There is internet wirelessly everywhere and everything is HUGE. Must be nice for those here.

The flights werent to bad. We flew from Wisconsin to amsterdamn to here. Each flight about 6.5 hours. I took tylenol PM and slept like a baby!! It was nice to sleep. That stuff rocked. I hope all is good with you my love. I love youy!!

My baby girl has lost her appetite, whats wrong?

2 days ago I introduced stage 3 baby food to Kayla. The first 2 bites she didnt care for but after that she ate some.

Yesterday she wouldnt eat breakfast at all. Shes not a big breakfast eater but usually she will eat half of a jar of fruit with some cereal. I figured it was because I was preoccupied with talking on the phone to my Mother In Law at the same time. So I figured she would eat a bigger lunch.
Lunch time came and she wouldn't eat anything. Dinner time came and she usually eats a very big dinner. A whole jar of food with a small amount of cereal, a bottle and then later a snack and another bottle.
She wanted nothing to do with eating dinner or snack and barely a bottle.

This morning....only half a bottle for breakfast.

What is going on with my baby? Teeth? Growing?

She also is having difficult nights. Last night, I kid you not...I was up every single hour tending to her. I remember seeing on the clock, 11, 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5:15 when I finally gave in from being desperate for sleep..took her to bed with me where we slept till 7:30.

Im a freaking zombie. Why isn't she sleeping or eating???

Is this due to a growth spurt? Or teething? Her first 2 teeth already broke through the gums...so are there more teeth coming?

I asked for one and got 50

Lots to show you. But first..
Yesterday evening I took Kayla for a walk down at the beach. While walking I spotted a couple butterflies. I stopped, and tried to capture one in a picture but they were just too fast. So, I continued the walk. I asked Aunt Deb to let me get just one picture of one butterfly and I would be happy. 20 feet down the road I ran into what seemed like 50 butterflies.

About 20 feet down the road...she not only gave me 1 butterfly to capture in a picture....but about 50 of them to capture in lots of pictures and even a video. It was utterly amazing. I just stood there taking pictures with flying all around me and Kayla. Then I just stood there and watched. I watched Kayla watch the butterflies, and I watched them myself. And I couldnt help but release a few tears and think of Aunt Deb. To this day, I still think of her so much and wish I could hear her 1 more time.

Here is a video of the butterflies.


And here are a few pictures. ( Head band made by Tina from Sweet Pea's Place )





I also managed to get a picture of Kayla's teeth while she was chewing on her sunglasses. Since this picture, tooth number 2 has popped through the gums, so thankfully Kayla and I both got much needed rest last night.


And a few pictures from Kayla's bath time. Tammy and Mark sent us the bubble bath! Thank you both again!




Today Nick got a chance to call us. Kayla was outside in her pool when he called. I was in the middle of teaching her the word NO as he called. She was trying to get into my plant I have. He got a kick out of that. He is now headed over to the middle east. I have his mailing address but cannot give it out until he gets there. We dont want him missing any mail. I can give out his email address. If you are interested let me know. It will be a few days before he arrives. We think he has 2 layovers that are a couple of days long. Im so ready to get the show on the road so we can start getting this deployment over with. I want my husband home where he belongs.

Oh, also...I did call my Great Grandma this morning. They weren't home so I left a message and she called back. Her and my Grandpap were beyond excited to hear from me and they are even more excited to meet their Great Great Granddaughter, miss Kayla Nicole this summer. I'm glad I pushed myself to pick up the phone. It's going to be a hard visit. They are very much so up there in age and I don't know the next time I will be back in PA to visit. Hopefully a year or so, but in that time you never know.

Well, I suppose this blog is long enough. Dont want to bore anyone. Until next time my friends...

Remembering

Today 1 year ago I started bleeding from miscarriage number 2. This feels like it was not all that long ago. I'm amazed at what and how my life has changed. God is good.

Today 2 years ago I started bleeding from miscarriage number 1. This seems like it was forever ago, and I hardly remember it.

The loss of these 2 babies is something that I would never want to go through again. But to have Kayla, I would do it all over again.

The picture above I took yesterday on our walk at the beach. Seeing these baby coconuts on the ground reminded me of my 2 losses. Not all coconuts grow into mature coconuts. Some don't make it and fall off the tree. No one knows why this happens.

The same with Angel Babies.

9

9 years ago yesterday Nick graduated from Basic Training in Texas. 9 years! 9 years ago I was so heartbroken. I just knew that I would never see him again(But deep down my heart knew what would really happen!), and if I did he would be married to the German girl that I knew would find him when he got stationed in Germany, and marry him and keep him from me. I mean after all, you would be totally blind if you didn't see what a great man he would become. And you would be dumb to not try to keep him.


Boy was I wrong!!

And boy am I lucky!

My Great Grandma

I have to call her. Tomorrow morning, I'm calling her. I have to wait until tomorrow morning with the time difference here. BLAH. I don't know why I put off calling her so much when I know one day I'm going to hate myself for it. It's just so incredibly hard seeing how old they are both getting and hearing them forgot words here and there and telling me something they already told me 2 times but forgot they already told me. Oh boy..it's so bittersweet.

I got this letter from her today in the mail.

Hi,
Thank you so much for the pictures. Kayla is beautiful. I think she looks like a "I cant read her writing here" baby.
I cant wait to see her. I never thought I would see you again.
When you back I hope you can stay here for a while.
Love you,
Gramma and Grampap


Also got a card from Nick today. It made me laugh which is what I needed after reading Grandma's note.
The front says, STUPID CARD. It gets to be with you and I dont.
Then the inside says, stupid, stupid, stupid card! (Miss you)

And then we got a package from Tammy and Mark!
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! Love you guys! Wish you lived in PA too then we could spend some time with you!

Slide show from today

Slide show from today. Kayla's first time in her pool. Thank you Santa for the pool and Thank you Grammy and Grandpa for the bikini!

Kayla had a blast while the living carpet was drying. Mama shampoo'ed it today!

By the way, turn on your speakers while watching the slide show. A song plays along with it.

Forgot

I forgot to share these 2 videos on my last blog post.

Shampoo results...

Well, I am so glad I inspired at least one of you to go out an buy a shampoo'er. Let me show you why...First let me say I was ONLY able to do the hallway and Kayla's room. The BX was out of shampoo and it only came with a trial size bottle.
This is the dirt that the thing sucked up out of the carpet.

And this my friends...is the hair and I dont know what else that my vacuum does not pick up.

This is just disgusting. I'm so excited to get the living room done. Not so much worried about my bedroom since I'm hardly ever in there, so that room will be last.
Im debating if I feel like driving all the way to the Navy base (45 minutes each way) today to get some more shampoo to finish the house. I should, I mean what else do I have to do? And while the carpet is dries I can take Kayla outside in her baby pool that she got for Christmas and we haven't used. I was waiting on her to become more mobile before she used it...and well, that time has come now.

And this my friends...is Kayla while I was shampooing her room and the hallway.


And this is Kayla after I finished. Can you see her collection of hair accessories? LOL!


Here is her room and the hallway after being shampoo'ed.

Nothing here but a new shampoo'er

Nothing much going on here to blog about really. Nick leaves Wisconsin on March 26th. He knows where he is headed but cant tell me until he gets there. He is all done with training now except for a couple days left of CLS, Combat Life Saving which isn't hard work. Just hands-on in the class room.

Yesterday I bought a carpet shampoo'er. Im so excited about it. Pathetic? Our house was remodeled just days before we moved in. There were some walls knocked out and the kitchen was moved and some other walls and windows put in. We got all new appliances. New fridge, dishwasher, stove, new tile floor, new cabinets, etc. Except....they didn't replace the carpet. Our carpet is old. There is no denying that.

Several months ago I borrowed the neighbors shampooer and I was just disgusted by the dirt and grime that kept coming out of the carpets. Total disgust. I shampoo'ed twice in one day and the water was just as dirty the second time around.

And now that Kayla is all over the carpets, I thought buying one would be a smart idea so I can keep at it until they are at least half way clean.

There is no way Im going to be able to get new carpet. A couple that just moved here got new carpet but her husband had to fight for it. It took several days, several visits with the housing office manager and several doctor's notes saying it was causing them medical problems with their backs. They got approved and had to move all their furniture which wasnt a big deal because they just moved in and still had things in boxes.

This would be a total hassle for me to have to move all furniture without Nick and I am not stern enough to demand new carpet.

So....shampooing is the best I can do.

I got the Bissell Proheat 2x. Anyone have this one?

The BX had 2 choices to choose from. A $75.00 shampoo'er which I'm sure would do fine for the money but for something I plan to have for many years I decided to get this one.

Im excited to use it. I don't think it will be today. We have somewhere to be at 1 pm and I don't know how long its going to take. Id rather shampoo on a day that I don't have anything else to do. So maybe on Sunday.

Here are some pictures of Kayla and Roo playing with the box.

And a picture of Kayla in her new pajama's from her Grammy and Grandpa...in size 12 MONTHS!

2 weeks, 3 days

2 weeks 3 days ago


TODAY:




2 weeks and 3 days down. The time has gone fast, but at the same time it feels like such a long time since I have seen my own husband. Each deployment I am reminded what life would be like without him and each time I never want to be without him. Ever. He is more than my other half. He is the piece that makes me ME. And without him, I am not me. I miss him a lot, and it hurts to watch Kayla miss him too.
But I know time will go fast and before I know it he will be home, just like last time.

Here are pictures of Kayla the day he left and today. I cant believe how she has changed in such a little time. She is already a different baby. Hard to believe she will be nearly 14 months old upon her Daddy's arrival.

Infertility Awards go to....

This came from Tammy's blog. I read it, and it brought back so many memories of what I went through. Seems like forever and day ago...and at the same time the emotions I felt seems just like yesterday.

The following is for all my infertility friends...this is something we all can relate too...

This award is for all the infertility women out there who have experienced all or some of the following.....



* If you could make a little house from used pee sticks and OPKs
* If you talk in TTC acronyms nobody except people on the internet understand
* If you have ever been stuck with any needles in order to achieve pregnancy
* If you have had to stick yourself, or your husband has had to turn into your nurse in order to do it for you
* If you've ever seen a blank ultrasound screen
* If you know what a cootercam is
* If you have ever gotten shower invites, family photos, or birth announcements in the mail and had a good cry
* If you have watched someone go through an entire cycle of pregnancy in the time it took you to even try
* If you have ever heard "just relax" or "it's not your time" or "your still young"
* If you dread holidays because you cannot announce a pregnancy to your family
* If you dread holidays because there are no children to share them with
* If you have ever held a baby or child and quietly pretended for a second that they're yours
* If you have ever walked around the store in order to avoid the baby/toddler section
* If you cannot park in the front spots of a store because they are for pregnant and expectant mothers only
* If you've ever had to go IN the baby/toddler section of a store in order to buy something for someone else's baby
* If you've ever yelled out during watching a movie or tv show about someone who's trying for a baby, "That's SO not realistic!"
* If you've ever sat around with a group of women who shared birth stories and labor pains and felt like you didn't fit in
* If you've ever told anyone you are infertile and they're response was, "That sucks. I'm super fertile! I can have all the kids I want!"
* If a fertile person ever told you that they would be your surrogate because they have no problem getting pregnant
* If you have ever gotten a shower invite through email while sitting at work trying to forget about TTC
* If you know what an RE is
* If you have ever graphed out your cycle on chart paper
* If you have ever checked to see if your cervical mucus was eggwhite or clear, or could stretch 5 inches between your fingers and you know people in the next stall over are thinking, "What is she doing in there?"
* If you were disappointed that you couldn't find any
* If you have kept a HPT or OPK in your purse to use when you were at work or out just in case
* If you can't wait to see the peak symbol
* If you have ever spat on a microscope in order to see ferns
* If you laugh when people tell you to use pillows under your butt after sex
* If you have picked out crib bedding or nursery decor online and you're not pregnant
* If you have ever felt panic when seeing a pregnant lady

If you meet the criteria above, or you'd like to submit your own, please post the following award on your blog. This is for all of the women who will no longer be silent about their infertility. This is to remind you that you need not be ashamed and you are definately not alone. This is to remind you to speak up about your situation and to have faith!!!!!!


Rules for posting award:

Nominate 4 others who have not been "silent about their infertility"

Enjoy speaking out and speaking up :D

Here are my nominations:
1. Tammy and Mark
2.Michele
3.Deena- whom no longer does blogging but I think of her daily.
4.Tracey- who has been through more than she should have ever had to.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! (lots-o-pictures)

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone.

It turns out that there was a reason I wasn't getting much sleep the last couple of night. I feel terrible about it now. Kayla has a tooth. I noticed it yesterday and I feel so totally terrible for letting be in such pain at night without giving her any medicine. My poor girl. I should have known something was wrong when she cried because she never cries. Seriously, she just doesn't cry. I guess the good thing is now I know when she acts this way it's because she is hurting. I feel so terrible.
Last night was a success. She went to bed at 7:30. I gave her teething tablets and Motrin and I took some Benedryl and went to bed at 8. I didn't hear a peep from her until 11:30. She was up a few times but I just pat her butt to sleep. She woke at 6 am but I wasn't ready so I took her to bed with me until 7 am. I feel a million times better.

Yesterday I got to chat with Nick through email for a few minutes. I didn't a whole lot of info from him since he was busy asking about us. But that is ok with me. I did get this from him:
I am getting over my cold. I am so glad. My voice is coming back. We only have 2 more days outside, then we are indoors for the majority of the rest of the days. I cant wait to move on from here. The leadership is so gungho and hardcore. They dont let us relax at all. They march us everywhere and make us sing jodies when marching. Its like basic training. I will be glad once this deployment is done and I am home in your arms.
We have been wearing our vests for 12 hours a day. My back is killing me.

Also, Thank you Grammy for sending Kayla and I such nice care packages. It means more to us than you know.