We just last night celebrated Caden's half Birthday. More on that later!
For now I wanted to share with you this.
Kayla is 2 years old, and only 23 pounds. On the growth charts she is only in the 4th percentile for weight. However, she comes in pretty tall. She is thin and tall and because of this I mainly put dresses on her. Shorts in her size are MUCH too big. Shorts in a smaller size are much to short in length in the crotch area. Its just plain too hot here for pants, and we have the same issue except because of her height its look shes getting ready for a flood.
Some of her shorts I've had to take in some for her to be able to wear them. But this is 1) a pain, and 2) they dont look as nice on her.
I took pictures of said pile of shorts that I had to fix, but now I cant find the pictures.
Showing posts with label Kayla. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kayla. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Today...
Its hard to believe that TWO YEARS AGO Kayla was born. TWO YEARS. How? It has gone so exceedingly fast. When I flash back to July 30th, 2008 it doesnt feel like its been 2 whole years. Yet at the same time, I can hardly remember what life felt like before this little girl entered our world. There are days Im so tired I want to cry. There are days I just want to see my living room floor again. But on those days I remind myself of the days I laid in bed crying wishing my lack of sleep be from a baby at night or wishing that our bare living room had toys strewn all over it. I would picture toys in that corner and that spot and imagine what those toys might be. Now I can look around and SEE the REAL LIVE ACTUAL toys...EVERY WHERE.
You can read my blog post on Kayla's Birth Day HERE.
We started the morning early. We had about a 20 minute drive to Birth Mother's apartment to meet her, Birth Father, and friend there. Birth Mother was to check into the hospital at 8 AM to start induction. I remember that morning. I remember walking behind Birth Mother and Father into hospital and I just watched Birth Mother and wondered how she felt, I looked at THE belly and thought, "OUR baby is in there and we are about to meet her!" It was exciting and nerve wracking. I didn't know if I should show my excitement, my anticipation, my anxiousness, my nervousness, my happiness. I didn't know if showing all that would be ok because I knew that while this was the happiest day of our lives, it was also Birth Mother's and Birth Father's day of great saddness and heartache. How could I walk around in such joy while they sat with broken hearts? But in the end, it was impossible to lower the level of pure dreamy bliss we were in. And now 2 years later, Im so glad we didnt hide it. If we did, they would have wondered why weren't happier. At least I would if I was in that position, I think.
Upon arrival Birth Mother was already 3 cm dilated. The doctor said she would deliver by the afternoon and we all thought he was a little crazy, because that WAS SO SOON. Her water was soon broken. I remember this very well. We all stood in the room but with a curtain drawn between her and us, myself, Nick, Birth Father and friend. This moment was so exciting! This was IT. Her water was broken, the pitocin was started...the baby is coming! I remember not long after this Birth Mother started feeling the contractions and almost right away she dilated to 4 cm.
Birth Mother then asked for the epidural so myself, Nick and Birth Father headed down to the cafeteria for breakfast. Months later I found out Birth Mother wasnt happy about this! She wasnt allowed to eat and we left her for breakfast! Haha. Poor girl.
We came back to an epidural'd Birth Mother and she was so happy and content and didnt feel a thing. She was talking and laughing like nothing. I swear she made labor look like no labor at all. We sat around her room and talked, joked, watched tv and tried to entertain ourselves. Within 90 minutes of this she was dilated to a WHOLE 6 cm! I remember the nurse checking her with us behind the curtain again and the nurse saying the baby has a lot of hair. I came out from the curtain all excited and asked, "You can see her!?" The nurse laughed and said, "No, I can feel her." I thought, oh duh...how embarrassing.
An hour later Birth Mother was ready to push and was dilated to 10 cm. The doctor had barely just made it into the room when Kayla was born in about 1 push and a half, only 6 hours later at 2:34 pm. I remember seeing her head before she came out and this was the moment I saw her for the very first time. I dont even feel like I was there. It feels like it was all a dream, like I was in someone else's body watching this miracle occur. She came out so fast, so easy and so smoothly. Nick stood next to the doctor and before we all knew it, he was cutting her umbilical cord.
She was then whisked off to the baby station and we just stood there in shock. We just stood there and didnt move.
The nurses all motioned for us to come over to see her. Nick went immediately over as fast as super man could get to her.
Right away his tears flowed and he sobbed like a baby. I walked over right behind him and saw him melting down like butter over a warm buiscut. I looked at Kayla and my very first thought that I will NEVER forget was, " A REAL LIVE TAKE HOME BABY." I just stood there. Crying. It even makes me cry just remembering all this. Then it was like a chain reaction. Nick cried. I cried. Birth Father cried. Birth Mother cried. Friend cried. The nurse then said to me that I could touch her. I touched her hand. So warm, so tiny, so soft, so pink, so wrinkled, so new. Was this really MY baby? Are the last 5 years REALLY now behind us? How are we SO lucky? How? How did this happen? And so fast? Who did this for us and why? While all this was going on, Birth Mother was delivering the placenta (which we later saw in a white bucket, interesting..haha!) and getting stitched up.
She was 8 pounds 4.1 ounces, 21" long.
The nurses cleaned up Kayla, weighed her,and did her footprints.
They gave her a shot, put a diaper on her, covered her, put a hat on her and then she was brought over to Birth Mother and Father. This moment I will never forget. This picture says it all.
Then she was taken off to the nursery where we followed for Nick to hold her first and feed her first (baby hog) and our first family picture of THREE! And a little freshen up from the nurses.
Then it was my turn....I was still in a state of disbelief. My hard work and determination to be a Mother had finally after 5 years been paid off. In a way I never thought it would, in a million different ways. All the time, money, heartache, pain, surgery, emotion, tears, injections, pills, long drives, over night hotel stays, ultrasounds, pain, cramps, temperatures, charting, and being exposed in ways I never want to again to an endless amount of complete strangers and last but certainly not the least, miscarriages....was worth every.single.second. It was like Kayla knew already that I was her Mother. I couldnt get over the way she looked at me already.
I honestly dont remember what happened after this but I do remember getting no sleep this night. I dont remember much of the next day in this hospital either. I do remember Birth Mother's son coming to visit and numerous other visitors of Birth Mother and Birth Father including family and friends. It was a bit overwhelming with so many people coming in and out and a pretty darn stressful. (Caden's stay at the hospital was so much better on us and Birth Mother, much more quiet and private and nice) I remember hanging out in Birth Mother's room all day with her but I dont remember much of what happened. I remember leaving for lunch. We went to The Golden Corral because it was close. We stopped in the hospital gift shop and got pink bubble gum Its A Girl cigars for everyone. I remember holding and feeding and changing Kayla a lot. I remember having to watch all the visitors hold her and say things to Birth Mother I wish they would have thought about before saying. Nick and I would just smile and cringe hoping it wouldn't upset her.
I remember a lot about the 3rd day, Birth Mother's day to relinquish rights, and placement day. I first want to say that I am more thankful then EVER that Caden's placement day was not this hard.
This day was HARD. I dont even know if I can describe it fully so that you, my readers can really understand. This day was so hard on our Birth Mother. She signed her rights away with Kayla in her lap. She cried through the whole process and even went down hill after the adoption (which led to her pregnancy with Caden). This day was just so heavy on us and everyone, so depressing for everyone, so stressful, so tense. You could FEEL the tension and sadness in the air. I was confident that Birth Mother would stick to her decision but this did not make it easy. She went into this not knowing us totally. Not knowing if her choice was right. Not knowing what to expect. Not knowing what to do and with not much support. The hospital goodbye was awful. I could tell she was trying so hard to not cry but failed miserably. What do we do or say to make her feel better? There was nothing. I remember watching her grab all the things she had packed up and walking out the door of the room she gave birth to Kayla in. We left the hospital as happy as we have NEVER been while Birth Mother was going home alone and with empty arms (Only mementos and a Minnie Mouse we had given her) to an apartment she shared with a friend, with pain medication and alcohol. To think about Birth Mother at this point was upsetting. I just kept telling myself with time she will get better.
But she didn't...until Caden was born.
2 years later, I still have to pinch myself. Especially now with TWO babies. When Kayla was born I was complete. Could NOT have been happier, but I still knew something was missing. Something wasn't complete. I had this instinct, this want, this need in life that still wasn't there. It just wasn't right, yet. I had no idea how to go about it. I thought that IVF again far in the future could be a possibility. I was sure we would NOT have another baby through adoption. It was too expensive. It was too stressful and it was too much of a roller coaster. Plus going through an agency and the wait for a Birth Mother to choose us..just wasnt on my list of something I wanted to do. If someone would have told me 18 months and 5 days later we would be holding our baby boy, Kayla's biological baby brother I would have laughed so hard and told that person they are a joke. There would be no way we would be THAT lucky. Plus, our Birth Mother has learned her lesson by now, I'm sure.
The moment I laid eyes on my baby boy 18 months and 5 days later...that was all gone. The mothering instinct inside my self knew he was coming. Little did I know.
Stay tuned for tomorrow's blog all about Kayla's 2nd Birthday!
You can read my blog post on Kayla's Birth Day HERE.
We started the morning early. We had about a 20 minute drive to Birth Mother's apartment to meet her, Birth Father, and friend there. Birth Mother was to check into the hospital at 8 AM to start induction. I remember that morning. I remember walking behind Birth Mother and Father into hospital and I just watched Birth Mother and wondered how she felt, I looked at THE belly and thought, "OUR baby is in there and we are about to meet her!" It was exciting and nerve wracking. I didn't know if I should show my excitement, my anticipation, my anxiousness, my nervousness, my happiness. I didn't know if showing all that would be ok because I knew that while this was the happiest day of our lives, it was also Birth Mother's and Birth Father's day of great saddness and heartache. How could I walk around in such joy while they sat with broken hearts? But in the end, it was impossible to lower the level of pure dreamy bliss we were in. And now 2 years later, Im so glad we didnt hide it. If we did, they would have wondered why weren't happier. At least I would if I was in that position, I think.
Upon arrival Birth Mother was already 3 cm dilated. The doctor said she would deliver by the afternoon and we all thought he was a little crazy, because that WAS SO SOON. Her water was soon broken. I remember this very well. We all stood in the room but with a curtain drawn between her and us, myself, Nick, Birth Father and friend. This moment was so exciting! This was IT. Her water was broken, the pitocin was started...the baby is coming! I remember not long after this Birth Mother started feeling the contractions and almost right away she dilated to 4 cm.
Birth Mother then asked for the epidural so myself, Nick and Birth Father headed down to the cafeteria for breakfast. Months later I found out Birth Mother wasnt happy about this! She wasnt allowed to eat and we left her for breakfast! Haha. Poor girl.
We came back to an epidural'd Birth Mother and she was so happy and content and didnt feel a thing. She was talking and laughing like nothing. I swear she made labor look like no labor at all. We sat around her room and talked, joked, watched tv and tried to entertain ourselves. Within 90 minutes of this she was dilated to a WHOLE 6 cm! I remember the nurse checking her with us behind the curtain again and the nurse saying the baby has a lot of hair. I came out from the curtain all excited and asked, "You can see her!?" The nurse laughed and said, "No, I can feel her." I thought, oh duh...how embarrassing.
An hour later Birth Mother was ready to push and was dilated to 10 cm. The doctor had barely just made it into the room when Kayla was born in about 1 push and a half, only 6 hours later at 2:34 pm. I remember seeing her head before she came out and this was the moment I saw her for the very first time. I dont even feel like I was there. It feels like it was all a dream, like I was in someone else's body watching this miracle occur. She came out so fast, so easy and so smoothly. Nick stood next to the doctor and before we all knew it, he was cutting her umbilical cord.
She was then whisked off to the baby station and we just stood there in shock. We just stood there and didnt move.
The nurses all motioned for us to come over to see her. Nick went immediately over as fast as super man could get to her.
Right away his tears flowed and he sobbed like a baby. I walked over right behind him and saw him melting down like butter over a warm buiscut. I looked at Kayla and my very first thought that I will NEVER forget was, " A REAL LIVE TAKE HOME BABY." I just stood there. Crying. It even makes me cry just remembering all this. Then it was like a chain reaction. Nick cried. I cried. Birth Father cried. Birth Mother cried. Friend cried. The nurse then said to me that I could touch her. I touched her hand. So warm, so tiny, so soft, so pink, so wrinkled, so new. Was this really MY baby? Are the last 5 years REALLY now behind us? How are we SO lucky? How? How did this happen? And so fast? Who did this for us and why? While all this was going on, Birth Mother was delivering the placenta (which we later saw in a white bucket, interesting..haha!) and getting stitched up.
She was 8 pounds 4.1 ounces, 21" long.
The nurses cleaned up Kayla, weighed her,and did her footprints.
They gave her a shot, put a diaper on her, covered her, put a hat on her and then she was brought over to Birth Mother and Father. This moment I will never forget. This picture says it all.
Then she was taken off to the nursery where we followed for Nick to hold her first and feed her first (baby hog) and our first family picture of THREE! And a little freshen up from the nurses.
Then it was my turn....I was still in a state of disbelief. My hard work and determination to be a Mother had finally after 5 years been paid off. In a way I never thought it would, in a million different ways. All the time, money, heartache, pain, surgery, emotion, tears, injections, pills, long drives, over night hotel stays, ultrasounds, pain, cramps, temperatures, charting, and being exposed in ways I never want to again to an endless amount of complete strangers and last but certainly not the least, miscarriages....was worth every.single.second. It was like Kayla knew already that I was her Mother. I couldnt get over the way she looked at me already.
I honestly dont remember what happened after this but I do remember getting no sleep this night. I dont remember much of the next day in this hospital either. I do remember Birth Mother's son coming to visit and numerous other visitors of Birth Mother and Birth Father including family and friends. It was a bit overwhelming with so many people coming in and out and a pretty darn stressful. (Caden's stay at the hospital was so much better on us and Birth Mother, much more quiet and private and nice) I remember hanging out in Birth Mother's room all day with her but I dont remember much of what happened. I remember leaving for lunch. We went to The Golden Corral because it was close. We stopped in the hospital gift shop and got pink bubble gum Its A Girl cigars for everyone. I remember holding and feeding and changing Kayla a lot. I remember having to watch all the visitors hold her and say things to Birth Mother I wish they would have thought about before saying. Nick and I would just smile and cringe hoping it wouldn't upset her.
I remember a lot about the 3rd day, Birth Mother's day to relinquish rights, and placement day. I first want to say that I am more thankful then EVER that Caden's placement day was not this hard.
This day was HARD. I dont even know if I can describe it fully so that you, my readers can really understand. This day was so hard on our Birth Mother. She signed her rights away with Kayla in her lap. She cried through the whole process and even went down hill after the adoption (which led to her pregnancy with Caden). This day was just so heavy on us and everyone, so depressing for everyone, so stressful, so tense. You could FEEL the tension and sadness in the air. I was confident that Birth Mother would stick to her decision but this did not make it easy. She went into this not knowing us totally. Not knowing if her choice was right. Not knowing what to expect. Not knowing what to do and with not much support. The hospital goodbye was awful. I could tell she was trying so hard to not cry but failed miserably. What do we do or say to make her feel better? There was nothing. I remember watching her grab all the things she had packed up and walking out the door of the room she gave birth to Kayla in. We left the hospital as happy as we have NEVER been while Birth Mother was going home alone and with empty arms (Only mementos and a Minnie Mouse we had given her) to an apartment she shared with a friend, with pain medication and alcohol. To think about Birth Mother at this point was upsetting. I just kept telling myself with time she will get better.
But she didn't...until Caden was born.
2 years later, I still have to pinch myself. Especially now with TWO babies. When Kayla was born I was complete. Could NOT have been happier, but I still knew something was missing. Something wasn't complete. I had this instinct, this want, this need in life that still wasn't there. It just wasn't right, yet. I had no idea how to go about it. I thought that IVF again far in the future could be a possibility. I was sure we would NOT have another baby through adoption. It was too expensive. It was too stressful and it was too much of a roller coaster. Plus going through an agency and the wait for a Birth Mother to choose us..just wasnt on my list of something I wanted to do. If someone would have told me 18 months and 5 days later we would be holding our baby boy, Kayla's biological baby brother I would have laughed so hard and told that person they are a joke. There would be no way we would be THAT lucky. Plus, our Birth Mother has learned her lesson by now, I'm sure.
The moment I laid eyes on my baby boy 18 months and 5 days later...that was all gone. The mothering instinct inside my self knew he was coming. Little did I know.
Stay tuned for tomorrow's blog all about Kayla's 2nd Birthday!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
All of a sudden...
with out any training, Kayla is using the potty. We are not 100% accident free, but pretty close. 4 days ago she just had enough and wanted to go on the potty so I made this potty chart for her. She was getting at first a candy and present for every potty trip, but I soon realized we cant do that or she would have 10-15 presents per day. HAHA! So the potty chart lets her get a sticker for each potty trip and after 10 stickers she gets a present. So far so good! This is the chart on the evening I made it, 4 days ago. Now she is started on the 4th row of stickers.
We are hitting milestones faster than I can keep track of them.
Kayla figured out how to pedal her bike on her own.
Caden has TWO teeth! This picture is from 5 days ago so they are actually through a lot more than this now.
Caden is sitting up like a big boy. Not 100%, he still falls over after about a minute, but hes getting it...FAST.
I have FINALLY hit 139 pounds on the scale after 5 weeks of not losing anything. That was more than frustrating and I have come to the realization that it will take much longer to lose this last 10 pounds. But thats ok, because I am much happier maintaining 139 rather than 159. This officially makes me at a 20 pound loss!
Nick is TDY to Montana, AGAIN. I hate when he goes....even if it is just for 9 days. I no reason to shower, make a really nice dinner or even get out of my pjs. Except for the babies' sake...I do shower in the AM and then again after my run. HA!
And for some random recent favorite shots:
We are hitting milestones faster than I can keep track of them.
Kayla figured out how to pedal her bike on her own.
Caden has TWO teeth! This picture is from 5 days ago so they are actually through a lot more than this now.
Caden is sitting up like a big boy. Not 100%, he still falls over after about a minute, but hes getting it...FAST.
I have FINALLY hit 139 pounds on the scale after 5 weeks of not losing anything. That was more than frustrating and I have come to the realization that it will take much longer to lose this last 10 pounds. But thats ok, because I am much happier maintaining 139 rather than 159. This officially makes me at a 20 pound loss!
Nick is TDY to Montana, AGAIN. I hate when he goes....even if it is just for 9 days. I no reason to shower, make a really nice dinner or even get out of my pjs. Except for the babies' sake...I do shower in the AM and then again after my run. HA!
And for some random recent favorite shots:
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Monthly Birthdays + W3D4
On May 30th, Kayla turned a whopping 22 months old. How in the world can 22 months pass by like this? She brightens my day like no one else can in a way that no one else can. I cant imagine a day without her. I cant imagine going hours with out her. How does Nick do it? How does he walk out that door 5 days a week and not see her all day long? I cant believe she is almost 2 years old. Before I know she will be 22 years old and I will have to learn to live life without her in it every single day. How do parents do this? Please tell me the secret, because within a blink of an eye..it's going to happen.
2 years ago this week, I was headed to Pennsylvania to await the birth of this little girl that I had no idea I would love so much. My mother in law and I would sit out on the deck and dream and imagine and wonder and discuss what we thought she would look like. We were pretty darn close...but I could N-E-V-E-R have dreamed she would be this perfect and this beautiful. I never thought a baby could have been made this perfect JUST for us. Her giggles, her laughs, her squeals, her cries, her tears, her big brown eyes, her eyelashes, her hair, her curls, her nose, her lips, her giant hands and feet, and tan skin, her long legs and arms, her giant heart, her personality, her cleverness, her determination, her ingenuity, her willingness and her ability to learn...just PERFECTION. Made only for us.
Happy 22 month Birthday little munchkin. Stop growing up so fast.
Tomorrow, June 4th, Caden will be 4 months old. How is THIS possible?
Wasn't it just weeks ago we stressed about his adoption? Wasn't it just weeks ago that I had to hold onto hope by a piece of thread and pray that it wouldn't break, that we wouldn't lose him. I had this tremendously painfully gut and heart feeling that he was made for us and I was trying so hard to convey this to the world while I had to plea and fight and beg the universe to make this work out. 2 months before we even found out about birth mother's pregnancy with him, I called my mother in law in tears wondering why on earth I had this overwhelming feeling that I needed more babies. I even blogged about it. I wanted it to go away and I couldn't understand it. Little did I know....our lives were about to change in a massive way. FOREVER. He was born. And that feeling was GONE. I could finally breathe and live with a light heart knowing and feeling for the first time in my entire life that this family was complete.
This little life that birth mother had created was not without reason. Everyone took the news of this pregnancy as a burden, even us before she asked us to adopt him. He was no doubt without reason. Not only did he complete this family in more ways than one, but he gave our birth mother the reality check she needed to get her life on track, get her GED, and go to college.
I couldn't imagine life without this little boy. While his personality is still waiting to erupt, it wont be long. I cannot wait for the day I hear his true real baby giggle. I cant wait to see the person he starts to become.
How lucky can one married couple get? Just how fortunate? It was all written in the stars long before we were even aware. We got pregnant twice and miscarried 2 babies. These 2 babies kept us going. They gave us just enough hope to lead us through the rocky path that ended with our 2 babies, Kayla and Caden.
To all my blog readers, my friends who are still waiting...your happy ending is written in the stars too. Dont give up.
If it's not a happy ending, then it's not the end.
Happy 4 month Birthday Caden. Dont grow up as fast as your sister is.
Today is Week 3 Day 4 in my running program. As of this morning I am down a pound already this week and its only Thursday. This brings me down 9 pounds weighing in at 150 this morning. I dont see a huge difference yet, but it will come. I still cant even believe I let myself gain that much weight. I'd say that the happiest I have been was weighing in at 130, so I guess 20 more pounds to go. I know I can do it. Just wish it didnt take this much time!
According to my running log I have gone a total of 8.9 miles this week so far. Today I did my work out twice, first thing in the morning and then again during the babies nap time with an extra 3 minute fast pace walk. I plan on doing 2 workouts tomorrow if I am able and then taking Saturday off. This training for a 5K thing...is addicting. So, I will TRY to take Saturday off. We are planning a day at the water park so that should be a lot of workout in itself!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Birth Father Package
Im going to kind of Copy Mrs. R.'s idea here. Many times before she has blogged about ideas to making 'care' packages for Birth Mothers. I'm not short handed for ideas for our Birth Mother (at the moment, look for future blogging about this!), however I do have trouble coming up with things for Kayla's Birth Father. After all, he is a man. What would have special meaning to him as opposed to a woman, Kayla and Caden's Birth Mother?
(If you have any ideas or advice on this topic please dont hesitate to leave a comment.)
As of right now, in his 'care' package is:
*One of the papers Kayla finger painted during her first finger paint session.
*A blue sun dress in size 18 months that she used to wear a lot, but has outgrown.
*Some root beer barrel candies, because Kayla loves to drink Root Beer as an occasional treat. (She also loves root beer floats)
*A pamphlet from the base library because last month I started taking her to the library and she cant get enough of that place.
*Im currently waiting to hear back from her Birth Father to find out if he drinks coffee. My reasoning is to have Kayla dip plastic white spoons in chocolate, let them harden and then wrap them up in clear cellophane and ribbon. Then when he drinks his morning coffee he can use a chocolate covered plastic spoon made by Kayla to stir.
(added to note: He does drink coffee sometimes, but I didnt get to make the chocolate spoons before I mailed the package)
*And:
This 4x6 picture of Kayla:
And..
as of this morning, my weight is still at 151. Nothing lost over the weekend, but I ate nicely at a bbq on saturday :)
(If you have any ideas or advice on this topic please dont hesitate to leave a comment.)
As of right now, in his 'care' package is:
*One of the papers Kayla finger painted during her first finger paint session.
*A blue sun dress in size 18 months that she used to wear a lot, but has outgrown.
*Some root beer barrel candies, because Kayla loves to drink Root Beer as an occasional treat. (She also loves root beer floats)
*A pamphlet from the base library because last month I started taking her to the library and she cant get enough of that place.
*Im currently waiting to hear back from her Birth Father to find out if he drinks coffee. My reasoning is to have Kayla dip plastic white spoons in chocolate, let them harden and then wrap them up in clear cellophane and ribbon. Then when he drinks his morning coffee he can use a chocolate covered plastic spoon made by Kayla to stir.
(added to note: He does drink coffee sometimes, but I didnt get to make the chocolate spoons before I mailed the package)
*And:
This 4x6 picture of Kayla:
And..
as of this morning, my weight is still at 151. Nothing lost over the weekend, but I ate nicely at a bbq on saturday :)
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Food and Potty Training
1. Half of a grilled cheese sandwich on wheat bread
2. 1 whole cheese hot dog
3. 1 fruit cup of oranges
4. 2 bowls of strawberries
5. 1 bowl of rice
6. 1 banana
7. Another whole fruit cup oranges (minus a few that spilled on floor/table
8. A few bites of mac and cheese
9. 1 whole slice of Domino's pineapple/mushroom pizza
10. Another whole fruit cup of oranges
11. Almost a whole kiwi fruit
She also asked several times today for yogurt, which we are out of.
And now it's 7 pm and I hear her saying, "What do you want?" which indicates she is trying to figure out something else to ask for to eat.
I have a whole bowl of frozen fruit (topped with Sweet and Low) thawing out that she will eat most of. We like share this together on the couch before bed time a few times a week. She eats all the raspberries and blackberries and I get to eat all the cherries and blueberries.
Endless cups of Apple juice and Crystal Light's Cherry Pomegranate juice.
I did notice finally she has a tooth poking through, the top right pointy tooth!
Growing much?
Today 10 May 2010, I have committed myself to take 3 solid days of not leaving the house to potty train Kayla. Today I may just loose my mind. It's not going well. Its 15 minutes until noon and she has pooped once and peed in various places all over the house 4 times with only once on the potty and that was only because I made her sit there for 45 minutes, through tears and all. She sat there drinking from her cup. I tried to bribe her with books, chocolate and even presents. She did eventually pee but didn't even realize she did it. I just happened to check the potty and noticed she went. After that, she peed in the kitchen.
After all this she went on to slap her brother in the face 3 times. I was folding laundry and I could hear it and then I heard Caden scream. I asked Kayla if she hit brother in the face and she said Yes. Oh boy....
This is hard.
2. 1 whole cheese hot dog
3. 1 fruit cup of oranges
4. 2 bowls of strawberries
5. 1 bowl of rice
6. 1 banana
7. Another whole fruit cup oranges (minus a few that spilled on floor/table
8. A few bites of mac and cheese
9. 1 whole slice of Domino's pineapple/mushroom pizza
10. Another whole fruit cup of oranges
11. Almost a whole kiwi fruit
She also asked several times today for yogurt, which we are out of.
And now it's 7 pm and I hear her saying, "What do you want?" which indicates she is trying to figure out something else to ask for to eat.
I have a whole bowl of frozen fruit (topped with Sweet and Low) thawing out that she will eat most of. We like share this together on the couch before bed time a few times a week. She eats all the raspberries and blackberries and I get to eat all the cherries and blueberries.
Endless cups of Apple juice and Crystal Light's Cherry Pomegranate juice.
I did notice finally she has a tooth poking through, the top right pointy tooth!
Growing much?
Today 10 May 2010, I have committed myself to take 3 solid days of not leaving the house to potty train Kayla. Today I may just loose my mind. It's not going well. Its 15 minutes until noon and she has pooped once and peed in various places all over the house 4 times with only once on the potty and that was only because I made her sit there for 45 minutes, through tears and all. She sat there drinking from her cup. I tried to bribe her with books, chocolate and even presents. She did eventually pee but didn't even realize she did it. I just happened to check the potty and noticed she went. After that, she peed in the kitchen.
After all this she went on to slap her brother in the face 3 times. I was folding laundry and I could hear it and then I heard Caden scream. I asked Kayla if she hit brother in the face and she said Yes. Oh boy....
This is hard.
Saturday, May 08, 2010
Lost
Happenings in the Alessi household have gotten lost in the shuffle since my friend's tragic news. I thank each and everyone one of you who either read my blog and left a comment, or just thought of my friend and her family. Im still in the state of disbelief of all of this. Its like the things you see in horror movies and on the news to people you expect it from. Its like a bad dream that I can not wake her up out of.
There have been a lot death things going on. The 2nd anniversary of Aunt Deb's death, the 1st anniversary of my Pappy's death and my Great Grandma wrote me a card saying she forgot to tell me when I talked to her, that my Great Aunt Sofie passed away in March. This was a shock. I mean, she was in her 80's but still very unexpected. And then the even more unexpected loss of one of my only and best friend's parents.
Anyways, back to the Alessi household. Let's see. What's been going on here?
*May 3rd was our last final post placement visit for Caden's adoption! Finalization is still set for June 9th at 9 am. Because of the time difference and 8,000 miles between us and Jacksonville, FL we have to do a tele-conference on the phone at 11 PM June 9th our time at the on base legal office. It's going to stink dragging both babies out of bed at that time. Im NOT looking forward it, but dont get me wrong...it's oh so well worth it.
*Our big furry Pooh Bear turned 9 (NINE?!) years old on May 5th. Feels like there was never a life before him, only with him. He is still a big pest-y kitten at heart.
*May 4th Caden hit 3 months old. He is smiling a lot, fussing a lot (he is such a gassy baby) sleeping a lot, chewing on his hands a lot. He has certainly discovered chewing his hands. He has also discovered his voice! Yesterday May 8th he let out his very first giggle. Just to show how different blood siblings can be...Kayla didn't do any of this until 4 months old. However, I am predicting he will be behind on all the other things like sitting, standing, crawling. We shall see!
*Caden has slept from 7pm to 7am 2 days in a row with only one feeding at 3:30 am. This makes for a happy Mom.
*Kayla has a new fascination with being naked. Naked to her is wearing a diaper only, so most days we are hanging around at home, she's naked.
*Caden upgraded to a size 3 diaper. Kayla upgraded to a size 4 diaper, but only because she has gained some serious height. The 3's were too short for her and the 4's are too big in the waist. I need to seriously start potty training her. I just havent had the desire to commit to that yet.
*I (we) made my (our) first fondant cake. Pics and blog post about this to come later.
*Kayla is now 21 months old and I have her birthday theme set as Butterflies!
*Today is Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms, birth moms, moms to be,moms who are still waiting, and moms who have angels because you are moms too.
If you would have told me last year, or even the year before, or even 3 years ago that by Mother's Day 2010 I would have TWO babies...I would have laughed at you.
There have been a lot death things going on. The 2nd anniversary of Aunt Deb's death, the 1st anniversary of my Pappy's death and my Great Grandma wrote me a card saying she forgot to tell me when I talked to her, that my Great Aunt Sofie passed away in March. This was a shock. I mean, she was in her 80's but still very unexpected. And then the even more unexpected loss of one of my only and best friend's parents.
Anyways, back to the Alessi household. Let's see. What's been going on here?
*May 3rd was our last final post placement visit for Caden's adoption! Finalization is still set for June 9th at 9 am. Because of the time difference and 8,000 miles between us and Jacksonville, FL we have to do a tele-conference on the phone at 11 PM June 9th our time at the on base legal office. It's going to stink dragging both babies out of bed at that time. Im NOT looking forward it, but dont get me wrong...it's oh so well worth it.
*Our big furry Pooh Bear turned 9 (NINE?!) years old on May 5th. Feels like there was never a life before him, only with him. He is still a big pest-y kitten at heart.
*May 4th Caden hit 3 months old. He is smiling a lot, fussing a lot (he is such a gassy baby) sleeping a lot, chewing on his hands a lot. He has certainly discovered chewing his hands. He has also discovered his voice! Yesterday May 8th he let out his very first giggle. Just to show how different blood siblings can be...Kayla didn't do any of this until 4 months old. However, I am predicting he will be behind on all the other things like sitting, standing, crawling. We shall see!
*Caden has slept from 7pm to 7am 2 days in a row with only one feeding at 3:30 am. This makes for a happy Mom.
*Kayla has a new fascination with being naked. Naked to her is wearing a diaper only, so most days we are hanging around at home, she's naked.
*Caden upgraded to a size 3 diaper. Kayla upgraded to a size 4 diaper, but only because she has gained some serious height. The 3's were too short for her and the 4's are too big in the waist. I need to seriously start potty training her. I just havent had the desire to commit to that yet.
*I (we) made my (our) first fondant cake. Pics and blog post about this to come later.
*Kayla is now 21 months old and I have her birthday theme set as Butterflies!
*Today is Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms, birth moms, moms to be,moms who are still waiting, and moms who have angels because you are moms too.
If you would have told me last year, or even the year before, or even 3 years ago that by Mother's Day 2010 I would have TWO babies...I would have laughed at you.
Friday, April 02, 2010
No more nursery...
Kayla's room in our new house is no longer the pink nursery she had in our old house.
Out with the baby room, in with the big girl room.
Thanks to Bobby and Gregg for throwing me a little inspiration as to what the theme of her new room should be. A theme which has a special meaning.
The theme which also will be the theme of her 2nd birthday....if I can find the supplies for it on this island.
Oh, and P.S....HAPPY EASTER!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Merry Christmas!
To all my dearest blogger friends,
Please Have A Merry Christmas.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve for us so I may not blog for a couple days.
Some updates here:
*We are 7 days BINKY free! The only sign left of baby hood are diapers. Our girl is growing up too fast.
*We are still undecided on name. We cant seem to agree. The names I like, Nick doesnt and vice versa. Nathan seems to be the only one we can both agree on, although we don't love it.
*Talked to birth mom this morning, she is doing well although she says this pregnancy is the worst of the 3. She is very uncomfortable.
*Sent birth father a message today letting him know of the adoption plans. We shall see what he says back. Keep your fingers crossed he doesn't cause trouble.
*Kayla can now count from 1-13 all by herself.
*Kayla is now starting 4 word sentences.
*In a few days, she will be 17 months old. I don't know where the time has gone.
Here is a picture of Kayla 1 year ago today, 23 Dec 2008 and a picture of her on Christmas day 1 year ago, 2008.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
A special Christmas Package
Yesterday Kayla got a very special Christmas package. I am so thankful she has a Birth Father that loves her the way she deserves to be loved. I'm hoping this will help her with that fact that she is adopted easier on her in the future. She is one lucky girl. And I am an even luckier Mama.
Other news, we think we have a name for baby brother. Im going to sleep on it a few nights and make sure we are sure. But Im pretty sure we are sure. Its the ONLY name we both said we really like. And funny thing is, my sister thought of it! For school her and her boyfriend had to take care of a baby doll for 4 days and it's the name they gave their baby doll! hehe!
Ok, onto the good stuff. Pictures....
Other news, we think we have a name for baby brother. Im going to sleep on it a few nights and make sure we are sure. But Im pretty sure we are sure. Its the ONLY name we both said we really like. And funny thing is, my sister thought of it! For school her and her boyfriend had to take care of a baby doll for 4 days and it's the name they gave their baby doll! hehe!
Ok, onto the good stuff. Pictures....
Saturday, December 12, 2009
15 month well baby stats, and other news
Yes, Kayla is 16.5 months old but we just on Friday got into her 15 month well baby visit.
She is as healthy as a horse (whatever that saying is supposed to mean anyways). But, she has dropped down the 4th percentile on the charts for weight. The doctor has us starting her on a high calorie food diet and in a month she goes back in for another weight check.
Since her 12 month well baby she has lost 1 pound and gained 2.5 inches in height.
She is very tall and very thin....just like both of her birth parents. So I am in no way concerned.
Today is Sunday. Today I'm going to fax the request for home study letter from our attorney to Guam Social Services and hope that we can get our home study on time.
Im also still waiting on an email from the attorney answering a few questions we had, one being if they would accept payments from us. If they cant accept payments or give us a grant within the amount of time we need, then we cant go the adoption attorney route.
The problem with all this waiting is...
Time is even shorter than we thought.
A couple nights ago Birth Mom had some contractions. She went to the hospital, got some meds to stop contractions and is now on beds rest. The nurse told her to expect this baby sooner than due date. How soon? We have no idea.
Kayla still needs her passport. That takes 10 days and I plan to get that on Monday.
So what next? I don't know.
1-12
I dont feel like adoption talk in this post.
But I wanted to say that tomorrow Kayla is 16.5 months old.
And she can seriously count from 1-12 all by herself.
The past 3 days, I cant even keep track of how many times she has done this.
She can point out the capital letter 'A' as well.
And she knows all her colors.
Wow!
But I wanted to say that tomorrow Kayla is 16.5 months old.
And she can seriously count from 1-12 all by herself.
The past 3 days, I cant even keep track of how many times she has done this.
She can point out the capital letter 'A' as well.
And she knows all her colors.
Wow!
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
at a loss for a title here....
I got an email this morning from birth mom. I'm due to call her in 2 hours. Hopefully the next 2 hours fly by. I guess I could drown myself in chores, or scrap booking until Kayla's nap time in an hour.
Birth Mom's Aunt wants to talk to me this time, about maybe coming up with some other options such as us taking legal guardianship or fostering the baby until we can come up with the money for the adoption.
So, she really wants us to have this baby boy. And, we really want this baby boy.
We just cant some up with enough cash in time. This includes taking every penny from savings, and maxing out a credit card.
So, may be one of the above options can work?
I did finally after all this time get in touch with some one on a more personal level from the Guam Child Protective Services and she was helpful. She told me not to give up, this is totally possible and we could complete the home study on time with a request from an attorney. The reason they say it takes so long is because of the getting all the documents together. Which we can do in no time. I already have our background clearance and already have scheduled appointments for our physical clearance. Mine is tomorrow and Nick's on Monday. So no problem here.
So, may be it is possible?
I don't know.
I just have to convince my husband this MIGHT possible without breaking our bank entirely and is possible to get our home study done in time.
I just want it all over.
I don't want to give up and wonder if this or that would have worked.
I don't want to continue on and only be let down.
Its such a tough road to be on.
Onto other news,
Kayla has been in her big girl bed for a month now! I don't remember what exact day she started sleeping in the bed, but it wasn't long after her 15 month birthday. She is now 16 months and a week old and doing fantastic in her bed. Its up against a wall and we have a safety rail on the other side of it. She sleeps in there for most nap times and when she is ready to wake up she comes out of her room by herself. I must say it is very strange to give her this much independence. I don't think I am ready for it yet even though she is.
Birth Mom's Aunt wants to talk to me this time, about maybe coming up with some other options such as us taking legal guardianship or fostering the baby until we can come up with the money for the adoption.
So, she really wants us to have this baby boy. And, we really want this baby boy.
We just cant some up with enough cash in time. This includes taking every penny from savings, and maxing out a credit card.
So, may be one of the above options can work?
I did finally after all this time get in touch with some one on a more personal level from the Guam Child Protective Services and she was helpful. She told me not to give up, this is totally possible and we could complete the home study on time with a request from an attorney. The reason they say it takes so long is because of the getting all the documents together. Which we can do in no time. I already have our background clearance and already have scheduled appointments for our physical clearance. Mine is tomorrow and Nick's on Monday. So no problem here.
So, may be it is possible?
I don't know.
I just have to convince my husband this MIGHT possible without breaking our bank entirely and is possible to get our home study done in time.
I just want it all over.
I don't want to give up and wonder if this or that would have worked.
I don't want to continue on and only be let down.
Its such a tough road to be on.
Onto other news,
Kayla has been in her big girl bed for a month now! I don't remember what exact day she started sleeping in the bed, but it wasn't long after her 15 month birthday. She is now 16 months and a week old and doing fantastic in her bed. Its up against a wall and we have a safety rail on the other side of it. She sleeps in there for most nap times and when she is ready to wake up she comes out of her room by herself. I must say it is very strange to give her this much independence. I don't think I am ready for it yet even though she is.
Monday, December 07, 2009
Ok, so here's the deal
I'm trying to cope with this, put a smile on, be thankful for the little family I do have and move on. I don't really want to get into every single detail, sit here and dwell on everything that has happened. So, I will take excerpts from an email to a friend that I sent.
It just wasn't meant to be this time. And as hard as it was to make that choice and come to terms with it, its the truth.
I was so angry last night when we were forced to make that choice. I was so angry with Birth Mom for putting this on us (even tho I know its not her fault, we really love her so don't send me any rude comments about this), for waiting so late in the pregnancy to do this, for her even able to get pregnant so easy and we nor any of the friends I hold deer to me cannot. I was so angry at the Air Force for not helping us. I was incredibly angry for us living on this island which I give most credit for this not working out financially. (But then, if we didn't live on this island, we for a fact would not have Kayla because we wouldn't have rushed into IVF before moving here and we wouldn't have had the miscarriage when we did and made our adoption website when we did so Birth Mom wouldn't have found us when she did...etc.) I was angry at God for putting this on us, for allowing this all to happen. I had so much anger. So angry...I wanted to just punch a hole in the wall. But 2 days ago, yesterday and, today I'm OK. I know it wasn't meant to be.
Every single step was so difficult. It was such a huge burden to carry since the day Birth Mom asked us to adopt him. It felt nothing like it felt when we found out about Kayla. Nothing even close. With Kayla, we felt like right away she was ours. From the second we were told about her. The whole process just fell into our laps and we somehow had the exact amount of money we needed and the exact amount of time we needed and we somehow knew it would all work out and be OK.
This time it was not like that at all. As much we want this baby and as much as we want to give him a better life, as much we want he and Kayla to be together, as much as I want more babies and as much as I know Nick would be a great Dad to another baby and great as it would be.....we can just feel it isn't what was supposed to happen.
I don't know why. I don't like it. But its such a strong feeling in me that I know it will be OK.
We never did find a social worker that could complete our home study on time. I did get in touch with our social worker who we used for when we adopted Kayla. She said our home study would have had to be completely redone. Which would have required- 3 flight tickets from Japan to Guam (once for home study and 2 for post placement) at $800 PER trip, plus hotel for the social worker and also the fee for the home study at $850.
There was no one else on this island that could have helped us.
I also believe that Birth Mom may be having second thoughts. I could be wrong, but I haven't heard from her in 8 days. I haven't heard from her since that day we talked on the phone for an hour. I tried calling many times with no answer and I'm getting no emails back. This is not normal for me to not hear from her. When she was pregnant with Kayla, I heard from her either daily or every other day.
So with that said...
Kayla and I will be making a trip home to PA next month. We have friends that just moved to Hawaii from here. Kayla and I will get on a military hop (free military flight) and hop to Hawaii and once we get to Hawaii we will purchase tickets to PA. So far the price isn't too bad. A price I am willing to pay to get off this island and feel some cold air. Now, my entire life I have not been a fan of cold weather. I have always wanted to live somewhere that is doesn't get cold. And here we are and 2 years later I had enough. It is too hot. This island is too small. I want to move. And we have 2 more years to go. I do know, someday we will miss being able to go to the beach any day we please. But right now, not so much.
It will be nice to spend time with family and see a couple of my good friends again. It will be great for Kayla to experience cold weather for the first time in her life and if we are lucky enough she may even be able to see some snow.
Wonder how she will like it?
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Got the pictures to upload!
First of all....everyone...please send positive thoughts to whoever you believe in....that Birth Mom's unborn baby (due in Feb) ends up in the hands of who is meant to be with him, care for him and love him. Let this baby end up where the big man wants him.
Here are the pictures I was trying to upload the other day and couldnt get to work.
Kayla and her favorite lizard:
Kayla's last year's Santa picture:
And this year's terrible set up of a Santa picture:
Here are the pictures I was trying to upload the other day and couldnt get to work.
Kayla and her favorite lizard:
Kayla's last year's Santa picture:
And this year's terrible set up of a Santa picture:
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Thanks!
Thanks everyone on your input on the turkey. I ended up buying a 5 lb turkey breast instead of a turkey at the suggestion from the comments I got.
Now, what to put in with the turkey breast? Julie suggested butter, chicken broth and seasonings which sounds good to me! Thanks Julie!
The past few days I have horrible headaches. Even a migraine one night that had me leaning over the toilet. And I think its because I have slowed down my caffeine intake to only 1 diet coke a day. If I drink any more soda its diet 7 up or diet root beet, all caffeine free. But mostly, I'm trying to drink more crystal light. I never realized how much sodium was on those drinks until Tracey pointed it out to me. So, thanks Tracey!
We took Kayla to see Santa on Sunday. Yes its early, but the BX only has Santa for 1 day and he was only there for 3 hours so we had to take advantage. The set up was so horrible. They put it right at the entrance of the store so people were constantly walking by..made it nearly impossible for me to take any pictures. And the decor was terrible. He had no background and only a small tree next to him. It was bad. Last year's was so much better. Kayla did OK with him. She unwilling went to him but didnt make a fuss. She didnt smile but she didnt refuse....until Santa let out the big "HO HO HO!" Then, she was done. Overall, she did good.
After the Santa visit we browsed through the BX. Kayla walked out with this ugly rubbery lizard she had to have. She wouldn't put it down in the store so we just bought it for her for being such a good sport with Santa. Yes, I said LIZARD. This child has at least 10 baby dolls, at least 15 My Little Ponies and she refuses to play with them. I always take her down the baby doll and barbie doll isles in stores and she has ZERO interest. She'd rather be playing with cars, planes, trains, bugs, lizards, stuffed animals and books.
Here is the lizard.
Here is the picture I got. Compared to last years. My oh my how sad is it that time can go this fast?
Anyhow, Kayla is taking a nap and I have groceries to put away and blogs to read. Until next time.
Ok Seriously, what a tease....blogger wont let my upload pictures. It says internal error....what does that mean?
Now, what to put in with the turkey breast? Julie suggested butter, chicken broth and seasonings which sounds good to me! Thanks Julie!
The past few days I have horrible headaches. Even a migraine one night that had me leaning over the toilet. And I think its because I have slowed down my caffeine intake to only 1 diet coke a day. If I drink any more soda its diet 7 up or diet root beet, all caffeine free. But mostly, I'm trying to drink more crystal light. I never realized how much sodium was on those drinks until Tracey pointed it out to me. So, thanks Tracey!
We took Kayla to see Santa on Sunday. Yes its early, but the BX only has Santa for 1 day and he was only there for 3 hours so we had to take advantage. The set up was so horrible. They put it right at the entrance of the store so people were constantly walking by..made it nearly impossible for me to take any pictures. And the decor was terrible. He had no background and only a small tree next to him. It was bad. Last year's was so much better. Kayla did OK with him. She unwilling went to him but didnt make a fuss. She didnt smile but she didnt refuse....until Santa let out the big "HO HO HO!" Then, she was done. Overall, she did good.
After the Santa visit we browsed through the BX. Kayla walked out with this ugly rubbery lizard she had to have. She wouldn't put it down in the store so we just bought it for her for being such a good sport with Santa. Yes, I said LIZARD. This child has at least 10 baby dolls, at least 15 My Little Ponies and she refuses to play with them. I always take her down the baby doll and barbie doll isles in stores and she has ZERO interest. She'd rather be playing with cars, planes, trains, bugs, lizards, stuffed animals and books.
Here is the lizard.
Here is the picture I got. Compared to last years. My oh my how sad is it that time can go this fast?
Anyhow, Kayla is taking a nap and I have groceries to put away and blogs to read. Until next time.
Ok Seriously, what a tease....blogger wont let my upload pictures. It says internal error....what does that mean?
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Im back with a video
Well, I guess more people missed me than I thought would. I apologize. Nick come home, had 3 weeks off work so we stayed busy with him. Then I got lazy...then I lost my desire for blogging. I was feeling down for a little bit. But Im good...I will try to get back at this.
A couple weeks ago I found out that our Birth Mom is pregnant again. I wont post exactly how I feel on here since I dont know who is reading, but as you can imagine it opens up some old wounds for me. We wont be adopting this baby so it brings back old feelings. Old feelings of, "How can she get pregnant and I cant?" She is 20 and on her third pregnancy...and I cant get and stay pregnant once without spending thousands of dollars. Its Not Fair.
Anyways, I dont want to start blogging back up on a depressing note...so I will start with this video of Kayla...Please enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-dy_pxKcB8
A couple weeks ago I found out that our Birth Mom is pregnant again. I wont post exactly how I feel on here since I dont know who is reading, but as you can imagine it opens up some old wounds for me. We wont be adopting this baby so it brings back old feelings. Old feelings of, "How can she get pregnant and I cant?" She is 20 and on her third pregnancy...and I cant get and stay pregnant once without spending thousands of dollars. Its Not Fair.
Anyways, I dont want to start blogging back up on a depressing note...so I will start with this video of Kayla...Please enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-dy_pxKcB8
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Stay Tuned!
Stay Tuned....Good news to come tomorrow.
For now...
My new favorite picture of Kayla taken EARLY this morning.
And yesterday she got her first pumpkin of the year!
For some reason she kept putting her ear up to it like it was talking to her.
For now...
My new favorite picture of Kayla taken EARLY this morning.
And yesterday she got her first pumpkin of the year!
For some reason she kept putting her ear up to it like it was talking to her.
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