Look at this...Thankful post #2. I'm on a roll. :)
Today I am thankful for little tender mercies from the Lord.
We have had a few of those in our home this past week.
If you have read my last post, you know that we had to say goodbye to our sweet dog and I am really surprised at how hard it has been~ especially for me. I knew that I loved her even though she drove me crazy sometimes. But I have been really surprised at the emptiness that we have felt with her being gone.
I spoke to the vet (not the one we originally saw a couple weeks ago) on Monday and she confirmed the thing that I had been wondering about. Mei Mei most likely died from some form of cancer. There it is. The ugly "C" word again. I am tired of hearing about and talking about that word. There is no way of knowing where the cancer started or how long she had been suffering from it. I just hope that she wasn't in pain for too long. That is the part that hurts me the most when I think about it.
Now that we know that cancer was the culprit, a few things have come to my mind. I have already mentioned the fact that Mei Mei stayed by my side the day I was diagnosed. That was the beginning of a deeper connection with her on a spirit to spirit level. I know that may sound weird, but I truly believe that our spirits connected in some way. Now I understand why. We were fighting this disease together. There were many times when I couldn't sleep and came out to the living room where she, once again, sensed that I was in pain and was right there to comfort me.
Tender mercy.
I can see other tender mercies as I look back on the week or so before her passing...
*The first vet not reading her blood results right. Telling us that some of her levels were a bit elevated but nothing to be concerned about. If we would have met with the other vet (the one who was there when Mark took her in), it would have been a different story. She was concerned with her temperature being a bit too high and she said that her white count was really high. She said that she definitely would have wanted to do more (expensive) testing and it probably would have come down to us having to make the heart wrenching decision to put her down.
*I had thought about taking Mei Mei with us to St. George that weekend. I am so glad that I changed my mind.
*Having Mei Mei die while the kids were not at home was another tender mercy. They have had a really hard time, Josh and Emma especially, but I think it would have been more traumatic if we had been here. On the other hand, it is hard because we weren't able to see her and get some closure.
The Lord has given us these little tender mercies to help to ease our pain and for that I am truly thankful. It has been a rough week, but I can already see that time is helping us heal. I can talk about it without immediately bursting into tears. My first morning walk without her was hard, but it is getting easier. Just little things like not having her greet us when we get home, hearing her tags jingling when I open the back door because she wants to go outside with me, tripping over her in the middle of the night or having to move her out of the way when I sweep (because for some reason she had to lay right in the middle of the kitchen floor when I did that). These things have all been missed, but I know that time will continue to heal our hearts and we will always have a special place in our memory for this sweet puppy.