See ya in 2, Elder Ogden!

As I sit writing this post, we are actually almost down to just 1 year until we get to see Elder Ogden.  The past year has had it's rough spots and I miss the kid like CRAZY every single day.  But looking back on this day last September when we dropped him off at the MTC, I cannot help but feel joy and gratitude for the blessings we have received.

September 27, 2017

Elder Ogden Reports to the Provo Missionary Training Center

Since Josh did not have to report to the MTC until 1 pm, we decided to take one last trip to Leatherby's.  We got there right at 11 when they open and found the place to ourselves.  It was awesome.

Of course, there was the saying goodbye to the pets as well.  [Cue tears when Josh said to Bailey, "You're going to still be here when I get back, right?] . Two years is a long time in dog years.  

 On the way to the MTC!!

And then, there is this...[cue more tears.]

Josh and Emma

Josh and Abbie

Josh and Ellie

We're going to miss this kid!

It was so heartwarming to see these kiddos.  Emma was in tears the whole time.  Abbie was in tears as soon as she looked at me or Emma, and Ellie had her brave face on (although I know she shed a few tears as well.)

It was a beautiful day at the Provo Temple where we took pictures and said our final goodbyes.

Ugh.  Seeing this picture makes me miss his hugs even more!

Our attempt at an awkward family photo.  Classic.

My heart.

Our final family photo for the next two years.


See you in 2, Elder Ogden!  We love you!

A Very Special Day

On June 30, 2017, we took Josh to the Salt Lake Temple so that he could receive his endowment.  (Click here to find out more about what the term endowment means.)

It was such a beautiful experience.  I loved sneaking peeks at him throughout the session.  I could see him just trying to take everything in and absorb it all.  He is such an amazing young man.  I love that I get to be his mom.

We had a lot of family and friends join us on the session.  I am so thankful for their love and support.  I also know that there were lots of family members, who now live in heaven, there to express their love and support as well.

Grandma and Grandpa F  and Grandma and Grandpa O

My sisters, Sharise and Brittany, were able to join us.  We loved having them here!

See what I mean about other family members?  Josh even had his arm around his Grandpa Great.  Oh, my heart.  I love these pictures.  We are so blessed that Grandma Great could join us at the temple.

Blast from the Past- April 2017 Happenings

Moving on to April's happenings!

I feel like these months went by as fast as these blog posts are happening (and that is no joke.  Where does the time go?)

Conference Weekend in St. George

We decided to head to St. George for April's Conference Weekend.  We had a little baby to snuggle, cousins to play with, and beautiful scenery to gaze at.

Little Nova Lin (Novie) was born in January.  We got to see her for a small window, just after she was born, when we were on our way to California.  I had been dying to snuggle with her again.  Fortunately, Dan and Chantelle's babies stay teeny tiny for a long time so she was still just a little peanut.  

We love our little Novie girl!

Conference definitely brings out the nap-taking skills.  Lol.  It's not that we are sleeping, it's just that we are pondering deeply the words that are being said.

We had a wonderful weekend and I learned so much from listening to our prophet, apostles, and other church leaders speak to us.  Conference weekend is always uplifting and give me the boost that I need to press forward.

And one more thing...I am selfie-challenged.  But you already knew that. :)

Easter Weekend

Easter weekend was spent with the Ogden clan this year.  It's a little different now that the grandkids are all growing up, but we still managed to have a fun time hunting for eggs and being together.

Josh was not excited that I made him participate in the egg hunt, but because he is the good boy that he is, he obliged--if only to make his mommy happy.

We also colored eggs and, as usual, ate lots of food.

Easter morning we woke up to some fun surprises in our Easter baskets.  Even Bailey was the lucky recipient of a new toy which she managed to destroy in about one minute flat.

Art supplies, mission supplies, Taki's, and a Cubs shirt.

I call that a pretty solid Easter basket score.

We attended church and I am so thankful that we were able to go to church and feel of the spirit of this glorious Easter holiday.  

We celebrate Easter because our Savior Jesus Christ was resurrected!  Isn't that fantastic?  It's seriously the best news ever and I am so grateful for my Savior.  I love Him with all my heart.

Easter would not be complete without family pictures in our Easter Sunday attire.

Abbie looks goofy and beautiful, as usual.

Ellie looks absolutely adorable, as usual.

And, this bunch of hooligans?

Well, they are my life.

And because of the Savior, they are mine forever, whether they like it or not.

Josh's Senior Pictures

I know, I know.

I keep saying it.

Where did the time go?

My baby boy, my first born child, is a Senior in High School.

He is graduating.

He is growing up.

And I couldn't be more excited about that.

Although there is a little tinge of sadness because I miss his cute little toothless grin, his squeaky little voice, and the way that he would run around in a Batman costume and a tie-dyed cape, I really am so excited for the future that lies ahead of him.

He is ready for the challenge and adventure, and that makes me happy.

Odds and Ends

This post wouldn't be complete without an Ana update.

Still cute.

Still loved.

Still growing.

Josh is getting ready to turn in his mission papers.

(Insert tears of joy and sorrow.)

He is definitely ready to serve the Lord on a mission and we are excited to learn where he will be serving for two years of his life.

 This cute face.

Oh my.

I cannot get enough.

Ellie received a letter from Murray City informing her that her Arbor Day poster was chosen as a winner for her grade!  She was thrilled beyond thrilled.

 These ladies.

My heart.

That is all.

 Josh had the opportunity to play in a production of "The Lamb of God" over Easter weekend.  It was a beautiful oratorio written by Rob Gardner.

All of the musicians involved were amazing and we left feeling uplifted and so grateful for our Savior.

It Was the Best of Times...Truly.

A little over five years ago, I wrote this post about my husband being called as the new Bishop of our ward.  I had recently started chemotherapy treatments for breast cancer.  It was a challenging time in our lives and now the Lord needed us to add another challenge.

Truth be told, although the calling and responsibility was huge for Mark, I was too concerned about trying to beat cancer to really put much thought into it.  As he settled into a routine of taking care of the needs of the people in our ward, I settled into a routine of living from one day to the next.

Over the past five+ years, there have been so many blessings and such an outpouring of love from our ward members.  Just saying "Thank You" does not feel like enough.  I will always be grateful for these amazing members of our congregation.

There have also been many tears shed and although a lot of those tears have been happy tears, we have definitely had our share of tears brought on by anger, frustration, sorrow, and fatigue.

Being a Bishop is hard- mentally, physically, spiritually- you name it.  It is a hard job to do and my husband was a champion.

Being a Bishop's wife is hard- mentally, physically, spiritually- you name it.  I cried a lot of silent tears because I couldn't ease the burdens that my husband felt.  I battled with the adversary as he tried to inch his way into any little crevice he could and bring contention into our marriage.  Oh, he is so sneaky and so cunning and he is very good at what he does.

However, I would not trade any of it, even the times that have been hard, because we have been able to see that we can truly do hard things.

As I have taken the opportunity to reflect on the last five years, my mind is a jumbled mess.  There are just too many miracles, too many blessings, and too many hardships to talk about in one post.

But the one thing that stands out above all else, is this...

We can do all things through the Savior.

And that is the absolute truth.

There is no mountain too tall to climb,

no ocean to far to cross, 

no problem too big to overcome.

The Savior can help you do it all.

I have seen this and felt of His love and help in my life.  I will testify of His grace and goodness until I take my very last breath here on earth and then I will continue to testify of Him in the next life.

He lives.

He loves you.

He is there for you.

And this is my testimony and I share it with you in the name of our eternal Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

8-19-16

I thought this day would never come.

In the cancer world, the number 5 is magical, almost mystical.

Five Years.

You hear a lot of hype about hitting that 5 year mark.  But in the research that I have done,  5 years is really not much different than 10 years, 13 years, etc.  However, all of the initial survival rates are based on someone surviving for 5 years or more, and the likelihood of your cancer recurring is greater within the 1-5 year range.  So, even though 5 years is not a big deal, it still is a big deal.

For me, any number is a BIG DEAL.

I still remember with absolute clarity the moment I sat across from my oncologist and heard him say

"Stage III Breast Cancer"

and

"the survival rate is around 70%."

Mark and I sat in stunned silence, trying to hold back the tears.

I was looking for a number much higher than 70%.

And while that conversation stunted my hope for a little while, it did not decrease my determination to kick cancer's butt.

And that's exactly what I did.

Although cancer has and continues to kick right back.

Even though I am still considered "cancer free", the lingering mental anguish still bothers me from time to time.  I have talked a lot about my struggles with PTSD and anxiety issues and will continue to do so.  It is so important for us to realize that our health is so much more than just physical.  Our mental and spiritual health play important roles as well and we need to make sure that we are giving attention to all three aspects of our health.

So how are the 3 aspects of my health doing 5 years after diagnosis?

Physical

I am feeling awesome. 

 --I *try* to do some exercise every day, but let's face it, most days my exercise consists of meeting my 10,000 steps goal.  Sometimes those steps include a little bit of jogging, but it's mostly just walking as I try to get everyone where they need to be when they need to be there.  If I am lucky I remember to do some ab workouts and pushups AND I get to play volleyball once a week so that makes me happy.  I do feel much stronger and although I don't really remember how strong I felt before cancer, I feel like I am every bit as strong-- and quite possibly stronger, in more ways than one.  

--I still have lingering issues from my mastectomy including the dreaded "boob itch."  (If you want to learn more about this, you'll have to read my book. :)  I also have some issues that I have to deal with from my hysterectomy, including (getting personal here) low sex drive, vaginal dryness, and "phantom" PMS symptoms.  

--Not to mention I still have my lovely melasma mustache, but whatever, I'm over it now. ;)

Mental

I am feeling awesome.

--I started taking an anti anxiety med called Lexapro.  I have played with the dosage a bit because when I was taking it every day, I felt like I was almost too uncaring.  I tried taking it every other day and that was okay, but now I have settled on taking 1/2 a pill every day.  That seems to be the perfect balance for me.  But I knew the real test would be approaching this day and time of year.  In the past few years, I have always had my "cancer freak-outs" around this time of year.  This year?  Nothing.  Maybe it's because I am that much further removed from that time of my life or maybe it's the medication.  Maybe it's a combination of both.  Who knows?  Whatever the reason, I like what I am feeling.

--I am also on a good path of learning how to be more in control of my emotions.  I attended BYU Education Week this week and nearly all of the classes that I took focused on how to take care of your mental health.  I am looking forward to putting into practice some of the skills that I learned.  I will keep you posted on how it goes.

Spiritual

I am feeling more than awesome.

--Before cancer, I was a very spiritual person.  I had a testimony of Christ and his atonement.  I knew that I was a daughter of God and that by trusting in Him I could do anything.  After cancer, I KNOW with absolute surety that CHRIST IS MY SAVIOR AND REDEEMER.  He atoned for MY sins, for MY sadness, for MY sorrow, for MY afflictions.  He did this because he loves me.

--I had to learn the hard way that my spiritual health is the most important aspect of my overall health.  If I don't nourish it and feed it, then it upsets the balance of my whole life.

--I had to learn the hard way that there are good things, better things, and best things that I can choose to focus on in my life.  When I put the best things first, everything else falls into place, without fail.  Some days I try to sneak in too many things that, although they are good, are not the best, and I always crash and burn.

**I always, always, always have time for everything I feel I need to do when I put the best things first.**

Guaranteed.

Five years ago, I dropped this sweet boy off for his first day of Junior High School.

Then I received that life-changing phone call and heard the words 

"you have cancer."

Today, I dropped this sweet girl off for her first day of Junior High School.

Although it is possible that I could receive another life-changing phone call today, I am 99.9% positive that I will not be hearing the words 

"you have cancer" today.

Life can change in an instant.  Sometimes those changes are happy and good.  Sometimes those changes are sad and difficult to understand.

But, guess what?

YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS.

When your world crashes down and the rug is pulled from beneath you, remember those words. 

Take some deep breaths, cry a little or a lot, then get down on your knees and pray for strength.

It will come.

You will endure.

And all will be well in the end (and I am talking about eternity here.)

Wherever you life's circumstances find you this day, I hope that you can find joy, love, and happiness. 

Because today is a great day to be alive.

Trek 2016- Press Forward in Christ and Remember the Journey

Mark and I have now had the privilege to participate in the past three pioneer treks that our Stake has done.  Each one was unique and each one was a powerful experience.  Our testimonies were strengthened each time and sweet memories were made.

Here is the post I wrote after the last Trek we participated in.

Trek 2011

It was fun to go back and read about our adventures.  I didn't have this blog when we went on our first Trek in 2006.  The highlights from that Trek are as follows:

1.  I was 5 1/2 month pregnant with Ellie.  I walked some, but mostly rode in a medical vehicle.

2.  The first day it rained...a lot.  By the end of the day everyone was trudging through mud that was several inches deep.  By the time we got to our campsite, we were all completely exhausted.

3.  Mark was one of the photographers and walked about twice as much as everyone else.

And now on to the Trek that we went on a couple of weeks ago.  This one was probably my favorite.  I loved the trail and Josh and Emma were old enough to go this time so that was awesome.

I was a photographer this time and took nearly 1600 pictures.  It was so fun to see everyone through the lens of my camera.  I saw a lot of smiles, a lot of dirty faces, and a lot of hard work.  I loved it.

Here's my beautiful Emma...AKA "Sunflower."  She was in the Sunbeam family with two of my favorite people as her Ma and Pa.  It started off a little rough for her when the wind basically destroyed her hat, but we were able to patch it up and eventually borrow another one.

Josh was a member of the Key Lime Pie family and he chose his trek name to be Resolved Duffin Key Lime Pie.  ("Resolved" and "Duffin" are family names.)  He really enjoyed his time with his family and ended up being in the same family as the Trek Music Chairman.  It just goes to show how inspired the process was of placing people in families.

After everyone was split into families, the walking began.  There was a thrill of excitement in the air as everyone wanted to just get those handcarts rolling!  The wind was strong, which was nice because it kept the bugs away.  It was not nice because my long skirt did not want to stay down where it was supposed to be.

After walking for most of the afternoon, we reached our camp site and settled in to have dinner.  Thanks to an amazing food committee, we did not have to cook that first night.  After dinner, we split into groups and rotated to different games.  There was Tug of War, a horseshoe type game, Stick Pull, Potato Sack Races, Red Rover, and the "Let's hit people with a rolled up magazine" game. 

(Click on the picture to enlarge it enough to see the captions.)

When the fun and games were over, we all sat down to sing some songs.  It was so beautiful and peaceful.  I am thankful that one of my friends grabbed my camera from me and took these pictures of Mark and I.  They are two of my favorites. :)

The next day started out beautifully.  The wind was very mild and so was the temperature.  We walked for a couple of miles and then gathered in a meadow to listen to some instructions from our leaders.  

Part of the pioneer Trek experience includes a "Women's Pull."  This is done for a few reasons:

1.  When the actual pioneers came across the plains in 1846, the US was involved in the Mexican-American War.  The army came to the Saints to recruit servicemen.  So, a lot of the men and boys left to earn money and the women were left to get the wagons, handcarts and other family members across the plains.

2.  It can be a very spiritual experience for both the women who pull and the men who watch them.

3.  It creates a wonderful sense of unity among the women in each family and in the group as a whole.  There is no better way to combat the influences of the adversary then to unite as a group of righteous women who know who they are and how they can access priesthood power in their lives.

 I have participated in two women's pulls and this one was definitely my favorite.  It was a longer stretch and we actually went up two hills instead of one, but I think it was a better opportunity to unite together as women.  I also felt a huge difference in my physical body when this women's pull was over.  

The last trek we were on was in June 2011.  Two months later, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  The cancer was definitely in my body while I was on that trek and participating in the women's pull.  When we reached the top of that hill, I could not breathe.  My chest heaved in and out and I gulped for every last drop of air I could reach.  My body did not want to move any more and I just collapsed onto a tarp and did not move for 15 minutes or more.  Even after we had lunch and had time to rest up, I still felt a little weak.

That was not the case this time.  

This time, although it was still extremely challenging and I found myself wondering how we were going to make it the last few feet, I did not feel like collapsing.  I was breathing heavily, but not completely out of breath.  Once we reached the top I saw some of the women who were ahead of us turning around to run back down the hill to help others.  I decided to do the same and ended up going down two times to help those behind us.  When I finally reached the top for the last time, I was definitely out of breath, but I felt strong.  It was one more way that Heavenly Father was telling me that I am truly healed.

After all the women made it to the top, we gathered around the men so that we could sing "Come Unto Christ."  It is one of my favorite songs and the spirit was so amazingly strong.  It was a wonderful experience.

That night there we had dinner, skits, and dancing.  The kids had a blast learning how to do some line dances and square dancing.  They were all dirty, exhausted, and probably a little bit smelly, but they had the time of their lives dancing around with each other.

The next day we had a little time for some soul searching and pondering during the Solo Time in the morning.  Then we loaded up the handcarts and took off for another day of walking...a LONG day of walking.

That night we had a delicious stew for dinner followed by some peach cobbler.  After dinner we had a testimony meeting that went for about four hours.  It was very long, but it was also really wonderful to see so many kids wanting to get up and share their experiences.  

The last day of trek finally arrived and everyone was ready to go home and take a shower.  The kids were pretty much running with the carts most of the way.

This trek was so much fun because of the people that were there with me.  We have an incredible stake family, but I was also blessed to have blood relatives there as well.

Cousins, an aunt and uncle, and my kids and husband of course.

It was very neat to share this experience with all of them.

And speaking of blood relatives...we actually had 3 generations of Ogden's at Trek.

I will treasure this picture forever.

Mark's Dad, Mark, Emma, Me, and Josh

I am kind of sad that it is over because I loved it so much, but it is nice to be home and have a shower so readily available.

I cannot stand leaving this post without adding a little video.  There is something about adding music to a bunch of pictures that make the experience even more powerful.  I am grateful for this trek experience.  Friendships deepened, new friendships formed, and my testimony was strengthened giving me an even greater conviction to Press Forward Continually in Christ.