15 Years.

Missie and Duy Vietnam 2016

I can't believe we've been married for 15 years. I remember when we first got married and we met a couple who had been married for 8 year and were just starting to talk about starting a family and I asked them... what do you do for 8 year with no kids? Well, low and behold, we got to find out.

I keep thinking to myself, what the heck have we been doing for the past 15 years with no kids? Well... living. Being grateful and full of gratitude for the crazy stuff we have done. It has been amazing! Now, don't get me wrong, it has also been stressful, overwhelmingly frustrating, and glorious all at the same time.

Do we fight, oh yes- like Ali and Fraser, or McGregor and Diaz... yes, we have our moments, and no they aren't easy... The best advice we got, and love to give to everyone, even if not solicited, because it was just that good... is this;

Will this matter in 25 years? if not, let it go... if so, touch gloves and have a clean fight. 

(I add the touch gloves and have a clean fight, because I am married to a warrior, an MMA loving man, which means I know way too much about the sport... I know, I know... I've let us all down ladies :)

So what have I learned in the past 15 years of marriage? you'd think my answer would be "a lot"... But actually I know a whole lot less now than I did when I had been married for a year. It's like my knowledge has gone backward - or at least now, I am smart enough to know that I don't know everything, or much of anything really. But what I do know, is that marriage isn't easy, it doesn't solve problems - it kinda creates more... But it is totally worth it.

So as an old married couple... I'll leave you other married couples with these words I shared on my Facebook page as a thank you to all the Anniversary wishes we got and as an encouragement to support your friends and family in their marriage and celebrate their milestones... and celebrate your own... you've worked to get where you are... don't forget that.

Birthdays are awesome, because the world changed the day you were born- But there is something different about an Anniversary. You are not guaranteed to arrive at it, they don't JUST happen, you have to work your tail off to make it WORK. 

You are no longer just celebrating a passing year or a simple accomplishment, but instead you are celebrating something you've fought for. So for me, our anniversary is so important.

Thanks for supporting us in our marriage, praying for us, and rooting for us. Marriage in the world we live in seems to come and go... I encourage you to support your married friends, encourage them, share your stories with them, and CELEBRATE their milestones... because they've fought to get there- and they are where they are because people like you value their marriage too. 

oh yes, and Love, Love, Love them, cause we all thought we had it figured out at year 1... 
<

So share in the celebration, share in the glory, share your stories and Share the love,

M. 

LostBumblebee ©2016 MDBN : Love Never Fails
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Empty house... happy heart.

Wow, who would have thought that emptying out our home and packing up would feel right? Of course there is anxiety, and stress... but there is so much happiness too. Our lives are not what we would have planned... this jet set kinda life isn't what we thought we would be doing, we thought we would be raising tiny humans to be highly functioning members of society... but alas, we are just raising ourselves and are somewhat functioning members of society- and more so somedays than others!

It's really funny, when I shared with my Dad we were headed overseas for two years, he made a very remarkable statement... it took me a little while to get my head wrapped around it, and make it part of my own philosophy. He said "Miss, you don't have kids... you don't need to live your life as though you do. There is no reason for you to have the house, the two cars, the close to school proximity, the backyard... you don't need any of that, unless that is what you guys want. You're living your life as though you are tied to it... you aren't. You and Duy have freedoms that others don't have... you also have loss that others don't have... But whatever you do, don't get stuck living your lives for someone else... or, for Pete's sake,  don't live it because that's what you think is expected of you... live it for yourselves..."

It took me a long time to think about this, to really embrace it. Is this selfish? Can we actually live our lives for ourselves and not be idiots? We don't have children, not because we don't want children, but because at this time-it's not happening (you can read more about our fertility issues here: Why I do -what I do! ) But what is happening is an opportunity that perhaps we would not have had, if we had children. I'm not saying our lives our better or worse... they are just different... and that is ok...  It took me awhile to learn that living our lives for ourselves did not mean selfish at all... Duy and I are consciously living our lives on purpose, what should we be doing, what are we called to do, where are we called...  How will we give when we arrive... after mulling this over... I realized that living our lives for ourselves, didn't actually mean selfish at all, it meant honouring what God has placed in our lives, and living it for Him, no matter where we were or what came across our path...

So looking around this empty house, my heart breaks a little... there is no pitter patter of tiny feet, no baby toys, no backpacks and sneakers at the door... but there are boxes... boxes that hold the past adventures of our lives, and hopes and dreams and expectations of future adventures, together with the man I love. The man who has stood by me through thick and thin, loved me through chubby days, skinny days, and now chubby days again... he has loved me through poking and prodding at the fertility clinic, 4 rounds of IVF, he's loved me through, loss, heart break, laughter and tears... and now we are so blessed to have this amazing opportunity ahead of us that we get to take together...

It's just another adventure along this journey we call life... no matter where we end up, as long as we are together, we will be home... as long as we are living our lives on purpose we will have peace...

So no matter what you are going through at the moment, just know... the life that you had planned may not be the life that you are living, and that is ok... look into the life you are living and find the diamonds, find the gold- hold onto the positives and focus on just how awesome life is, even if it isn't the one you had planned... there is always something to be thankful for...

Share the love,
M.

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LostBumblebee ©2016 MDBN
Home is wherever I'm with You
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Going to the Chapel.

I have had the great pleasure of working on many, many, many wedding invitations in my day- I am always so honoured when people choose me to do their invitations... I've been working n a few recently and with all of these weddings on my mind, this little print happened.

You can print it, use it as a card, put it in a frame, or If you are feeling courageous and creative I've also created a version with a little 'Date-Plate' where you can add the date... or the names of the love bird.

Love is grand, weddings are grand, marriage is messy.  I'll let you in on a little secret... I wrote these back in 2008 when I aspired to be a writer (ha!) Wedding Bliss-ters,  This is NOT My Starter Marriage, and Marriage 102... like I said, marriage is messy :) We were 7 years into our marriage, which will be 14 years this year... it's been an interesting ride- to say the least.

Here's to Celebrating Love and Marriage and all the messy stuff that goes along with it!
Share the love,
M.

Just a little reminder: *Please note all free printables and images are free for Personal Use. They may not be used for resale or commercial use without written permission. >> If you are using these images on your website or your blog you must link back to www.lostbumblebee.blogspot.com

Please visit our INFO page.

Thank you :)

M.

All LostBumblebee® Prints ©2009-2015 Melissa Dawn Baker-Nguyen

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You & Me.

I made this for me. A reminder to myself and others that even though we have no children (yet)... we are a family. We are a family made up of you & me, and that is ok.

So if you need a reminder, this one is for you: If you are 2, like us... 2 people, (a child & parent, two adults, 2 siblings, 2 friends), 2 people who love each other, this one is for you- You are Family. You are okay. You are loved.

Share the love,
M.

Ps. Mine is already printed and up :)

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Love is... Just Incase You Needed a Reminder

Sometimes I forget what real love is, and I need a reminder... you know when it starts to become all about me, Me, ME! Oh what? you don't have days like that... lucky you!

So this one is a reminder for me, if you need a reminder every once in awhile, feel free to print it off and remind yourself of what love truly is.

Share the love, the real kind :)
M.

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Marriage 101.

Marriage 101. You want all of my secrets to a happy successful marriage, well... the best bit of advice I've ever been given is this:

If it won't matter in 25 years get over it. But if it will matter in 25 years then have at it, fight it out :)
Best advice ever !

But if you'd rather, you can still rule with "Happy Wife, Happy Life" and "Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life" (these are also both true)

Here are two cute and cheeky little print, just for fun :)
Share the love!
M.

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