Some Thoughts

At 38 weeks.

 

Physically.

I've been told by two doctors that this boy feels like a big guy. Dr. Mallory says he feels like high eights, maybe nine pounds. "You're growing a healthy baby in there."

It all feels like baby, not water taking up all that room. And trust me, from the inside, he is taking up all nooks and crannies. I feel so....FULL. Packed tight. There is so much pressure on my bladder and that system. I am waddling. I am a waddling pregnant lady.

 

Emotionally.

One minute I am just so ready to have this baby. Let's go right this second and get him out. I don't even care how scary surgery wide awake is.

The next minute I get a surge of butterflies and am so nervous imagining that dreaded blue curtain over me, laying there with Jimi at my head. Trying to ignore the tugging and pulling.

I'm so nervous I am going to go into labor before January third. I really don't want to him to come before the darn third.

 

Spiritually.

So, this may sound odd, but I often think of Piper in the afterlife. I wonder about pets and eternity. Will we get to play with her again?

Today at the Olive Garden, we were talking and I wondered out loud if this baby will get to see Piper before he comes down to Earth. I believe that he will get to meet some of his grandparents on the other side, but what about the Piper dog?

Then we got to talking about some dreams/experiences people have had with new babies and deceased family members.

I got this great vision (not a prophetic one, mind you) of my baby being escorted to the threshold - whatever that entails - of joining earth life by my/Jimi's grandparents. The term "escorted" resounds comfortably in my mind. Here I am, nervous about this new baby coming to our family, but I'm sure it's a scary thing for my baby boy's soul as he's getting ready to join us. It's comforting to think about him surrounded by people who love him.

 

Maybe a little bit deep for the blog, but who reads blogs anymore anyway? Only people who really care about and love me anyway, so I don't care.  And that's what I've been thinking about at T minus 6 days til this baby is born.