Choose Love

Yelling less? Well I do want to... But every time it happens I forget everything :(

I just feel like crying right now.. Coz it frustrates me..It makes me angry. .to not be in control of my emotions..Sometimes I doubt myself if I can ever do it. 

Daily I think I will reset my counter and start with day 1 tomorrow, but then... 

But I want to really thank you my friends out there for your support and encouraging words on this initiative of mine. 

And I know myself. I Can't give up. I think I have certain take away which I should keep in mind to be able to do it. 

1. Little miss is a free spirit and does things at her own sweet pace. I get irritated when she does not do things quickly.  Today at one step after telling her repeatedly, I started counting. She assumed when mamma is counting she has to finish the task before I reach a count of 5. And it was indeed done. The thing is for me to start counting if I feel I am going to lose my mind.... More for me than for her! 

2. Repeating positive assertions 

Life is good ! I am blessed to have such a lovely family and friends. I have everything that I need. I am happy! I am healthy! My family is happy! We are healthy and love each other. 

3.  Expect less. Yes that is the key. Because it leads to frustration when the expectation is not met by someone. I also dont want to take out someone else anger on my little child. Dont want to scare her (I know I do that :( )

4. Choosing Love! Yes Choosing to be a loving and caring person for my family today and everyday.

5. Being thankful. Gratitude helps us to realize how lucky we are. It keeps us grounded  and makes us more appreciative of others.

So I will try to keep these things in mind and give "Yelling Less" again a try!

I know your wishes are with me :)

Keep Moving

Yesterday evening I started my journey to be a better parent to my child. To scold less and love more... As I made the declaration for yelling less and headed home.. I was full of positivity and hope.
When I reached home S had gone for a friend's birthday party.. Could not wait for her to come back and give me a hug!
She was super excited about the fitbit like watch that she got in return!
Then came the tough part.. Meal time. As I mentioned  in my previous post.. We both have started eating without screen sitting down on a mat... So I asked s to lay the mat out.. I asked and asked.. Then had to raise a little voice.. Reminding myself not to yell!
There were different triggers like I have to always remind her to drink water.  It was not a yelling free evening. But I was aware and conscious. Totally appreciative of the people who can pull it off.. Hats off to them.. Coz it is no easy thing. Requires lot of patience and creativity. Creativity in the tactics of getting things done without yelling.
Thinking that my day one will be tomorrow :)

Day1:
So the morning started with a grumpy kiddo... Complaining headache... Teeth ache... Stomach ache...!
But patient I was.. After all I have to take care of my sick baby.
With almost every one falling sick at home.. We are just treading right now...
Then it happened.. I gave S a small piece of apple to eat. She rarely eats fruits, am trying forcing her to atleast try little bit. So after around 20 minutes she ate only 2 bites out of it. I felt angry, sad, shouted a little and then moved on. Will have to keep trying to make her eat fruits.
I think kids are great in teaching us patience by practicing it!

And then it happened again! Came back from the doctor's after 3 hours. S was hungry. So gave her some khichdi in a bowl. But she was too excited with her new diary that I just got her.. Since she wanted one like me... And there.. Dropped her bowl!! She immediately covered her ears scared that I would reprimand her! Well I didn't exactly shout at her.. But mumbled in frustration! Sigh!

It was a OK day overall. Have to be bit more consistent about not yelling aka shouting

Be the change you want to see - Yelling less

From time immortal (roughly around 5 Years) , my little one (now 6.5 year old) has been watching phone or tablet or laptop while eating or being fed. I know its not her fault that she was introduced to these gadgets and the gadgets acted as baby sitters. But this habit of hers was getting onto my nerves now, cos even for eating a biscuit or drinking milk or juice she would demand phone! It was as if she was doing a big favour on me by eating or drinking!
I could take it no more, since this had started affecting her eye sight and also her behaviour . I decided that this needs to stop!
So some two weeks back I told her that from now onwards we are not watching phone, tv tablet or anything while eating. I was really mad at her. She said ok mama, but with pure innocence she said "How?" . I was like I am so mad at her and still she is asking me how! Yes I can be irrational sometimes. But when I cooled down, I understood her question. Because if we  go back to our same setup of having meal (sitting in front of tv on sofa, since I am watching tv while eating and simultaneously feeding ) she will definitely ask for phone!
So I decided, we will have dinner, lunch in our room, we will not sit on sofa, instead I took out my yoga mat and told her we both will sit down here and eat. Normally I will serve one plate for both of us, since I am feeding her. But I really want her to start eating on her own and be independent, hence I served two separate plates. We sat on the mat and I told how she can feed herself.
It wasnt easy, I can tell you!
She does not understand how she can take a chapati bite along with the dry sabji and dip it in daal, so we started with basics. Next she would get bored of eating in absence of a distraction, so will not eat much. I have to coax or threaten her sometimes to eat a little bit more. Then sometimes tiredness or sleep would creep in, and she would be so dull while chewing, god give me the patience to handle it..we are not there yet ...but on the way..wish us luck friends!

I am really impressed and have been reading all posts from a fellow blogger Shailaja on how she took up the challege of yelling less at her daughter. I can so much relate to her struggle, triumphs, angst..it has motivated me to embark on a journey myself. So friends I would try to yell less on my daughter for the next week.. Thanks Shailaja..love


image source: google