Snarky Thoughts

Oh the signs of Spring … the Cardinals have returned to Camden and the daffodils are blooming … flowers are sprouting and Mo’Nique is once again talking her loathing of Oprah and Tyler Perry. A refresher? Okay … Mo’Nique was hired by Lee Daniels to co-star in Precious fourteen years ago and she did. But when it came time to distribute the film, Daniels needed some coins and called in Perry and Winfrey to pay those costs. Now those two egos asked Mo’Nique to go on a press tour for the film and she demanded payment and they said ‘No, that’s not how it works,’ and thus started Mo’Nique’s Woe Is Me tour.

My Thoughts: It’s been almost fifteen years, Mo, give it up; there are no Oprah coins coming your way and you sound ridiculous burping up the same story every year.

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Grey’s Anatomy had Dr. McDreamy and Dr. McSteamy, but they also had Dr. Homophobe, AKA Isaiah Washington, who was fired from the show for a homophobic slur filled rant way back in Ott-Seven. Well, you know sometimes those who spew hate lose jobs and Washington’s mostly been working on joining the MAGAt cult and took to Twitter to announce his “early retirement from the entertainment industry.”

My Thought: Keep the hate to yourself, and you can keep your next job … at Starbucks.

PS You know what else is over, besides your career? Hats; seriously, why must I keep telling you people. Hats.Are.Over.

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Cher confused us all at the end of 2022 when she posted a picture of a diamond ring she received from her new man, Alexander “AE” Edwards. It seemed like the diva was engaged but most feel like that was not the case. But now those same sources are saying that Cher’s sons, Chaz Bono and Elijah Blue Allman are not at all pleased that mama may marry a man who is 17 years younger than Chaz and ten years younger than Elijah. They seem to think that Ae is after Cher’s coins and mama may just cut them out of the will if they continue this nonsense.

My Thought: By acting the fools over their mother’s relationship, the two sons might just be left with her coins, but it won’t because of AE it will be due to their own meddling.

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50 Cent seems consumed with being a terrible father, of trolling Madonna, and declaring he doesn’t like getting his salad tossed, but right now, today, he’s defending the honor of his, ahem, unretouched penis. A few months ago, 50 filed a lawsuit when a picture he took with plastic surgeon Angela Kogan was posted alongside an interview she did with The Shade Room about penis enhancement surgery; he sued the doctor, the med spa she owns, and The Shade Room for implying he had his ding-a-ling lengthened. He ALLEGEDLY settled with The Shade Room for an undisclosed amount.

My Thought: We all know Fiddy has old pictures of his dick, so why not just whip it out and prove he didn't add a little length to his Two-Bit Dick.

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That Woman, you know, the one who sold her daughter’s private sex tape to a porn company to make her demon spawn famous, has sparked rumors she’s engaged to longtime boyfriend Corey Gamble after flashing a massive diamond ring on social media. The ring, which featured a simple band with clear-cut stone sitting proudly in the center, is estimated to be worth over $1.2 million.

My Thought: How does That Woman’s boyfriend, who may or may not have a job other than being her sidepiece “bodyguard”, buy a $1.2 million ring?

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Snarky Thoughts

50 Cent has stopped dogging Madonna for a moment, because his new target is a medical spa surgeon with whom he took a photograph that is now being used to advertise :::ahem:::: male enhancement procedures. The insinuation is that 50 Cent is maybe more like a Quarter and had a little work done, you know, down there. He insists :::foot stomp::: that he wasn’t a client but was just taking a picture with a fan, but the spa says that 50 received an undisclosed service and took the picture for promotional purposes in lieu of payment.

My Thought: 50 Cent couldn’t afford a Big Dick Surgery? I always thought he was a Big Dick.

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Last week Adam Levine, Maroon 5 squawker, and his wife Behati Prinsloo announced they were expecting their third child. But that news was overshadowed after Instagram model Sumner Stroh claims she had a year-long affair with Levine and then months after their affair ended Levine ALLEGEDLY DMed Sumner in June to ask that, if he and his wife had a boy, would she mind if he named the baby after her. Adam posted a denial/non-apology to his Instagram Story. He writes that he used “poor judgment” in flirting with Sumner but claims he never “crossed the line” with Sumner but he was “stupid” and “naïve.”

My Thought: Adam Levine is a mega-douche, who make not have crossed a line but I’m betting his penis did.

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As Tom Brady continues his never-ending quest to become the best quarterback the world has ever known his wife Gisele Bündchen has grown tired of waiting for him to come home to his family, and might be ready to retire as his Number One Fan and, according to sources, the two are seriously close to d-i-v-o-r-c-e.

My Thought: Tom probably doesn’t care because divorce doesn’t come with a ginormous ring and a trophy.

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Khloé Kardashian’s surrogate just gave birth to her second child with serial sperminator Tristan Thompson who also just had another baby with Maralee Nichols. And Khloé wants y’all to know that she would never “have a baby with someone who is having a baby with somebody else.” Except she did … she had her first child with Tristan whom she began dating at the same time he dumped one baby mama, and he then knocked Khloé up, and now he’s had a second child with Khloé and one with a new Baby Mama.

My Thought: There will be a Very Special Episode of Keeping Up with the Kardastrophes where Khloe explains how she had a baby with a man who was having a baby with another women … TWICE. She’s quite the example for her kids.

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And, to end on a happier note, it’s hard to believe it’s been ten years since we first saw The Hammaconda in Jon Hamm’s pants, but here we are, though now … NOW? … Hamm seems to want to dispel the myth yet again. While it has always been assumed that Jon likes to let it dangle, considering we’ve seen photographic proof of it, now Hamm is saying it ain’t so, that he has never gone out without underwear.

My Thought: If you can see that thing while he’s wearing underwear imagine what it’s like when it’s allowed to roam free!

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

One day last week Kanye West begged Kim Kardastrophe West to “run back” to him.

The next day Kim Kardastrophe West filed documents to become legally single.

Ouch. Kardastrophe also wants to restore her maiden name and officially drop the ‘West’ surname she shares with Kanye and their four children. Ouch.

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Oh for the love of the goddess, I do wish Caitlyn Jenner would sit down and shut up. I mean, I had hoped that after she landed in the bottom, well, below the bottom, in the race to be governor of California, that she’d go away, rethink her life, and come back maybe a little smarter. I.Was.Wrong

Backstory: in 2019 LGBTQ+ ally George Clooney announced he was boycotting the Beverly Hills Hotel because its parent company, the Dorchester Collection, was owned by the Sultan of Brunei, a country that stones The Gays to death, but Caitlyn, not so LGBTQ+ ally-ish,  never said a word about it.

But now Caitlyn is boycotting the Beverly Hills Hotel because … and this is rich … and this is from a71-year-old woman … the hotel refused her entry into the Polo Lounge for breaking their dress code; and Caitlyn will explain, as she did in an Instagram Story:

“@bevhillshotel %$@& your horrible service for not letting me have lunch with this tiny rip in my jeans. Shame on you, Disgusting, I have been a patron for decades. No longer.”

Yes, stoning The Gays to death doesn’t irk Jenner, but not allowing Nana into lunch because she’s dressed like a teenager with ripped jeans set Miss Thing off.

I’ve said it a thousand times and will say it once more: Dear Caitlyn, kindly fuck all the way off.

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There’s nothing more disgusting at Christmas than a tiny self-entitled cult member destroying the environment for a little publicity.

Yes, Little Tommy Cruise ALLEGEDLY flew his private jet across the Atlantic to Los Angeles and then back to England where he’s been filming Mission Impossible: Get Tom To Visit His Daughter Suri to deliver 300 holiday cakes to the crew.

Did he do that because he’s a tiny man with a giant ego, or because there are no bakeries in the UK.

Fuck the environment, it’s Christmas and Tiny Tim, er, Tom, wants to let his crew eat cake.

PS In the photo it looks like Tom ate all the cakes before delivery.

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I have never seen The Goldbergs though for a while I thought it might be a show about my cat, MaxGoldberg. And I had never heard of Jeff Garlin, who plays Murray Goldberg in the show and now that I have, I wish I hadn’t.

Garlin has been fired from the show for “inappropriate behavior,” but he is trying to brush off the kerfuffle by saying his actions were “silly,” and that he was a “hugger” and had never been told that the women he, um, hugged, did not care for it. He also says he never knew he offended anyone, and then says it’s true that the show’s human resources department had spoken with him three times in the last three years about his conduct. Jeff, to his discredit, put it like this:

“If I said something silly and offensive, and I’m working at an insurance company, I think it’s a different situation. If I, as the star of the show, demanded a gun range and on set, and I was firing guns every day and I was a little bit loose—to me, that’s an unsafe work atmosphere. If I threatened people, that’s an unsafe work atmosphere. None of that goes on ever with me. That’s not who I am. I am sorry to tell you that there really is no big story. “

And that’s when the really big story broke and it goes like this: a camera assistant made a complaint about Garlin’s use of the word vagina and after Garlin learned of this he ALLEGEDLY put his hands around her and kept saying “vagina” in her face over and over again. He was also reported for failing to use female crew members’ names, and instead gave them offensive nicknames. The last straw came the day when Jeff ALLEGEDLY went full-asshole on a female stand-in—who is married to a male stand-in—and screamed at her as she walked off the set after blocking a scene:

“Why are you always in my way? Get the fuck out of my way.”

And then he shrieked at the woman’s husband:

“Tell your wife to get the fuck out of my way.”

And to paraphrase another show that has gotten rid of cast members … And Just Like That Jeff Garlin was gone, though not entirely. Since he had one more day of shooting in Season 9 the show will film with his stand-in and … this is the best … will superimpose Garlin’s face into the show in post-production.

MaxGoldberg is said to be disgusted by this smear on his good family name.

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When last we left Madonna she was giving us Wicked Witch of the West in fishnets, Louboutins and a pudgy ass realness, to which her ‘friend’ 50 Cent scoffed at and laughed at and called her out for it. Now, Fiddy apologized after Madge exploded on social media, but our Madonna is so desperate for any kind of publicity—why didn’t she just fly a cake to Fiddy’s house—that she has continued to blast the rapper for being mean to her; she went on Instagram, because that’s what she does, and said:

“Delayed Clap back for 50 cent And his fake apology  ….…..,.. Ive been busy, better late then [sic] never!!! Had. some things I needed to say.”

For the love of the goddess, one would think with all her money Madge could either afford an education, or at least enroll in an English class, or pay someone to post for her. And then she goes on:

“You were trying to shame me. Your apology is fake, it’s bulls–t and it’s not valid. It’s not hard to find footage of me and you hanging out. “Number two [Bob’s note: no clue where ‘Number one’ went], an apology is not valid if you don’t know what you’re apologizing for. What you should be apologizing for is your misogynistic, sexist, ageist behavior and remarks.

“Number three, you didn’t hurt my feelings, because I didn’t take it personally. I could never take it personally because you’re not coming from an enlightened place.

“Number four, you say you’re not benefiting from it. Of course you’re benefiting from it, that is what social media is all about.”

Wow, for someone who didn’t take the apology seriously, she certainly went to town over her displeasure.

Get a life, Madge, seriously.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

There’s nothing like a celebrity barfing up a forty-year-old story to get some fresh publicity. And I’m looking at you Brooke Shields.

We get into the Way Back Machine and head to 1980, when people lost their shiz at 15-year-old Brooke Shields’ Calvin Klein’s ad where she says:

“You want to know the only thing that comes between me and my Calvin’s? Nothing.”

It’s nothing compared to what we see today, but forty-one years ago it was escandalo! And so, to mark that four decades old mess, Brooke appeared on Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast and talked about a 1980 interview she did with Barbara Walters that she now calls … wait for it … “practically criminal” because Babs asked what her measurements were and if she was a virgin.

Call CPS! STAT! Except … five years earlier Brooke’s mother, Teri Shields, offered up her 10-year-old daughter, fully nude, dolled up and slathered in grease, as the subject of photos for a Playboy publication called Sugar and Spice so questions of virginity and measurements couldn’t have been that criminal.

Not like a mother having her prepubescent child pose nude. Take it down a notch, Brooke.

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Sarah Ferguson, AKA The Duchess of York, is back once again with another chapter for her ongoing life struggles in which she claims that she is “the most persecuted woman in the Royal Family.”

Oh, it didn’t just happen; The OG Fergie says she has been shunned and persecuted since she and her husband Andrew—with his own set of scandals—split up in 1992 and divorced in 1996. It’s like she’s pulling a Brooke Shields, dredging up decades old stories for some fresh publicity,

Referring to the negative media coverage she received following her separation from Prince Andrew, she says:

“I was maybe the most persecuted woman in the history of the royal family, but I’m still here.”

Now, she may have been the most dragged royal, but persecuted? Walk a minute in Diana’s shoes, hon, who was called insane and crazy by the royal family machine during her separation and divorce and was then hounded literally to death by the press.

Take a seat, Sarah. We’ll call you when wanna suck toes.

Google it.

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Now, onto to George Clooney, trying to prove he’s just like the rest of us.

Clooney did an interview with the Guardian to promote his new movie, The Tender Bar, and discussed fame, raising his twins during the pandemic, politics, his childhood, and the fact that he turned down $35 million for one day’s work in an airline commercial:

“Well, yeah. I was offered $35m for one day’s work for an airline commercial, but I talked to Amal [Clooney, the human rights lawyer he married in 2014] about it and we decided it’s not worth it. It was [associated with] a country that, although it’s an ally, is questionable at times, and so I thought: ‘Well, if it takes a minute’s sleep away from me, it’s not worth it.’”

Get a good night’s sleep, George. We remember the $30 million paycheck you got for those Nespresso commercials.

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Last week we discussed Madonna’s thirsty nipple and ass Instagram photos, and this week we discuss her attack on 50 Cent—whom she accused of “pretending” to be her friend—after he “talked smack” about those photos, posting to his social media:

“yo this is the funniest shit LOL. That’s Madonna under the bed trying to do like a virgin at 63. She shot out, if she don’t get her old ass up.”

And Madonna, never one to revert back to being a teenaged girl, posted a picture of she and Fiddy posing together on the red carpet saying.

“Here is 50 Cent pretending to be my friend. Now you have decided to talk smack about me. I guess your new career is getting attention by trying to humiliate others on social media. The least elevated choice you could make as an artist and an adult.”

And then she proves what a thirsty child she is by adding:

“You’r [sic] just jealous you won’t look as good as me or have as much fun when you are my age.”

I was kinda hoping for:

I’m rubber, you’r [sic] glue, whatever you say bounces on me and sticks to you.

But hers was enough because 50 Cent apologized, and the playground is safe again for the children.

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Y’all remember that Khloé Kardastrophe got together with athlete Tristan Thompson when he dumped his pregnant girlfriend to be with Khloé, only to dump Khloé for a hot minute when she got pregnant, and then they got back together because dumping pregnant Khloé is okay with Khloé? Remember that?

Well, it’s still going on because Thompson has knocked up another girl while he and Khloe were are were together, and Tristan is suggesting the woman is trying to extort money from him.

Um, no, Tristan, it’s called Child Support, and it’s what men have to pay because they can’t keep their dicks in their pants.

PS Tristan ALLEGEDLY tried to give this newest Baby Mama $75,000 if she dropped her paternity suit, which is something all men do when the baby in question isn’t theirs.

Keep.It.In.Your.Pants. If you can’t use a condom, dumbass.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But

Of course, I am not sorry … but Bill Cosby is finding out the hard way that being an ex-con, even a famous, wealthy entitled ex-con, ain’t easy.

Y’all know that Cosby went to prison for ALLEGEDLY drugging and raping Andrea Constand—among many others—but then saw his conviction overturned because the prosecution screwed up. Cosby was released from prison, saying he was innocent, which is an untruth, and instantly set about planning a comedy tour to get his bank account filled up again. But the tour—and try as I might, it won’t be The Rape Isn’t Funny Tour—has been put on hold due to an upcoming civil trial in which Cosby is accused of … wait for it … sexual assault. Again.

It seems Cosby is being sued by Judy Huth who claims he “pounced on her at the Playboy Mansion in the ’70s, when she was just 15.” A trial date has been set for April of 2022 and so Cosby’s spokesperson Andrew Wyatt is saying that “Cosby wants to avoid going on tour for the moment because he doesn’t want this dark cloud hanging over his head … as he seems to think the case would become all the media talks about while he toured.”

Or because he’ll be found guilty … again … and would have to cancel the tour and could be sued by the venues he’d booked.

Easy solution: have Cosby do his act in the cafeteria of whatever prison he ends up in.

Works for me.

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Speaking of sexual abusers on trial, what’s new with R. Kelly?

His defense team has tried every trick in the book to get the myriad of charges against Kelly thrown out and now it’s clear they have reached the bottom of The Excuse Barrel because the newest one is:

“It was the MSG!”

One of Kelly’s many victims, identified only as Sonja, testified that in 2003 that she met R. Kelly in Utah and he invited her to his studio in Chicago. Sonja, who was twenty-one at the time and a radio station intern, chose to go because she thought an exclusive interview with R. Kelly could jump-start her career.

But things went south the moment she arrived. Sonja testified that one of R. Kelly’s employees ALLEGEDLY asked if she needed a condom, to which she replied: “No, I’m not here for that.” That employee also ALLEGEDLY asked for her contact information and had her an NDA to sign along with a set of rules as to how she should behave in R. Kelly’s home—like needing permission to eat or use the bathroom.

Sonja claims she was locked inside a room for three or four days, begging for food. Finally, she was given Chinese food and became sleepy. When she woke up, she saw Kelly “doing up his pants in the corner” and felt “some wet stuff in between my legs.” She says she did not consent to any sexual acts with Kelly and after it was over, she ALLEGEDLY told not to tell anyone about the encounter and did so out of fear since R. Kelly’s people had all her contact information of her closest family and friends.

So, where does the MSG come in? From the myth about Chinese food making you sleepy or sick, and that’s what happened to Sonja, not that she was drugged by Kelly so he could rape her.

It was his fault; it was the Lo Mein.

Seriously.

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Tori Spelling is clearly so desperately for attention that she’s taken a page from Khloé Kardastrophe’s playbook by restructuring her face. Only Tori took it all too literally and restructured her face to look like Khloé’s twin.

Last week she celebrated the wrap of her MTV show Messyness with co-star Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi and most folks thought it was Khloé and Snooki doing up the town.

Why? WHY? Well, maybe if Tori starts looking like a Kardastrophe Kris Jenner will mistake her for a long-lost daughter and bring her into the family and all Tori’s money problems will be over!

PS That is "real" Khloé down there.

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Y’all all know 50 Cent is a pig, but he recently became even piggier.

After the ALLEGED drug overdose of The Wire actor Michael K. Williams 30 Cent, AKA Curtis Jackson, posted some emojis of wide-open eyes alongside a screenshot of The New York Post’s report of William’s death with this caption:

“Damn if you didn’t see Raising Kanan check it out that fentanyl is no joke, killing the clientele. R.I.P micheal k Williams.”

Yes, he misspelled the actor’s name, but made sure to follow that with hashtags promoting his line of wine and cognac.

Curtis has had a long feud with Williams about … who cares … but to promote your TV show and businesses on a man’s death is sick, even for Piggy Cent.

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It's Snarkurday!

50 Cent is a petty lil bitch; I mean, you always hear about women catfighting, but Fiddy is the queen of the catfight.

It seems that he and fellow rapper Ja Rule have hated each other for years and recently, after one of Ja’s shows was cancelled, Fiddy trolled him with this:

“Only 10 tickets sold don’t nobody want to see that shit, you talking about wait we get a lot of people on the walk up. Get the fuck outta here get the strap.”

Yeah, I’m not sure what it means either, because Fiddy don’t know punctuation, but, to add insult to injury he then bought all the front row seats at another Ja Rule show so they would be empty on the night of the performance.

Like I said, petty lil bitch.

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Beyoncé changes her weave and it becomes news, so how does former bandmate Kelly Rowland keep her name in the papers?

By posting a picture of herself in which her skin appears to be several shades lighter than normal, and then taking on the ALLEGED trolls who think she bleaches her skin:

“Don’t go saying stupid stuff like that. You ever thought that it could be the lighting? I am still chocolate, forever chocolate, proud to be chocolate, shoutout to all my chocolate girls.”

Girl, bye; no one needs your Fake New story.

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Kanye West has designed T-shirts encouraging black people to exit—or Blexit–the Democratic Party.

I’m designing Kexit for people leaving Kanye West. That’s all.

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Every year Casamigos Tequila holds a Halloween party in LA where A-listers mingle with B-listers, C-listers … and Kathy Griffin.

And you just know that booze and costumes are a recipe for d-i-saster, and so when you throw in former Real Housewife and media whore Brandi Glanville, the recipe gets doubled.

It seems Glanville attended the party with a female friend whose ex-boyfriend, Kobie Randolph, aka DJ K-LUV, turned up, too.

And Kobie claims his ex-girlfriend assaulted him—punching him in the face and splitting his lip—and then Brandi jumped in, too, but … Brandi told cops she broke up the fight. I know! Let that sink in … Brandi Glanville broke up a fight.

Anyway, even though Randolph filed a police report for battery, no one was arrested, but like I said ….

Liquor + costumes + Brandi Glanville = d-i-saster.

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It’s time for another piece of the saga that is the Nicki Minaj-Cardi B feud.

A few weeks ago, the two singers had a fight on a red carpet with Cardi B hurling a shoe and Nicki hurling F-bombs.

So, what’s happening now? Well, Nicki’s talking and talking about Cardi B because her own tour was canceled—people are over Miss Minaj—and so she’s stirring the shiz.

Nicki began saying Cardi wasn’t assaulted by one of Nicki’s bodyguards at that fashion event, and Nicki is claiming Cardi is exerting some of her “influence” to keep people from collaborating with Nicki. Nicki is also claiming that no matter what Cardi says, she did not reveal the B’s private phone number.

Cardi reacted with this:

“I’m tired of the f**king whole internet sh*t, I’m tired of the interview sh*t. If you really wanna talk about it, you know where to link me … We can talk about it, or we can fight it out. I’m with whatever.” 

Then Nicki Tweeted: 

“I’ll pay you to take a lie detector test about every claim I made [but] you won’t. I must admit you’re a convincing liar.” 

Then Nicki claimed she was through:

“I know this stuff is entertaining & funny to a lot of people but I won’t be discussing this nonsense anymore.” 

Odd, since Nicki’s the one who restarted the feud, but I guess when your relevancy is slipping, and your ego is taking a beating, you’ll do whatever it takes to keep your name in the news.

At least she’s not talking about how she doesn’t bleach her skin.

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Oh Paltrow, again? Gwyneth Paltrow’s favorite child, GOOP, is in trouble again. After being ordered to fork over $145,000 because of the vagina eggs they were shilling, GOOP is now in trouble in the UK.

The Sunday Times claims GOOP is being “reported to British regulators over 113 alleged breaches of advertising law.” 

The issue at the center of this mess is a vitamin supplement packet marketed to pregnant women called The Mother Load which contains a high amount of vitamin A and too much vitamin A during pregnancy can “lead to birth defects and liver toxicity.” 

Naturally, a spokesperson for GOOP was at the ready:

“When used as recommended, Goop’s The Mother Load supplements are safe during pregnancy … The Mother Load contains a very moderate 450 mcg of vitamin A which is less than the recommended daily intake of 600 mcg per day … The 4000 IU beta-carotene included in Mother Load is only converted in the body to vitamin A as needed, and there is no safety concern for eating this, as there would be no safety concern for eating a large number of carrots containing beta-carotene.”

The statement did admit that the “concern is that pregnant women not consume excessive vitamin A,” and added that “moderation is the best policy.” 

Seriously, the company that sells t-shirts for a grand-and-a-half is suggesting moderation?

Someone get Gwyneth’s $900,0000 fainting couch ready.

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Last week we talked about That Woman gifting her BFF with a trip to the plastic surgeon for her birthday, and now we learn that one of That Woman’s demon spawn, Kylie, has gifted her with a brand-new $250,000Ferrari for her 666th birthday.

Of course, the gift exchange took place on camera and once That Woman slithered into and then out of the driver’s seat the car was taken back to the dealer and then sold at a greatly reduced price.

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A year ago, Today was sending Matt Lauer to The Old Sexual Predator’s Home while trying to find a way to keep the coins from the year-and-a-half left on his $20 million a year contract for themselves. Naturally, Lauer wanted it all and ALLEGEDLY got nothing, but now it’s Megyn Kelly’s turn.

Kelly was halfway through her $69 million three-year contract with NBC News when she got the axe for her racist insensitivity and now she wants every single penny left on her deal and is refusing to sign a non-disclosure agreement. 

NBC News chairman Andy Lack doesn’t wanna give up the coins and seems to be saying that Kelly’s idiotic blackface comments broke her morals clause and so she gets no mo money.

Sources—and it might be Lauer who may be sleeping on the Today Show set—say that it’s not known how this will pan out, and it all depends on how hard Megyn’s lawyers fight against NBC’s lawyers for that check.

We’ll get a clue when the wine budget for Hoda and Kathie Lee comes in; if it’s up, Kelly’s screwed, but if it’s down, she’s scored some big bucks.

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About a year ago, rumors broke about Sarah Jessica Parker and another SATC movie, and how Kim Cattrall was ruining it all by refusing to come back to that tired saga. And suddenly the press was attacking Cattrall, calling her a diva and “difficult” and “greedy,” claiming she was ruining SATC for the world—while I think she did us a favor by taking it off life-support—because she’s an awful person.

The controversy heated up again when SJP, acting just so sweet and innocent, dismissed Cattrall in the press—using her lap-dog, Andy Cohen to help smear Kim—even when Cattrall was mourning the loss of her brother.

Cattrall then slammed SJP for her fakery on social media, calling out her phony nice-girl persona and after that, for a while at least, SJP shut up and the feud seemed over.

But SJP just can’t help herself, and is once again letting everyone know that she never did anything wrong and that Kim Cattrall is the bad guy:

“If one more person calls this a catfight… I’m not in a fight. I never fought with Kim … She has felt perfectly comfortable to say lots of things—that’s the beauty of living in a democracy—but I have no apologies, meaning, this isn’t a catfight. This is someone who chose to talk about something and myself, I remain grateful for her work and the role she played on and off camera for all the years we spent together.”

Someone who “chose to talk”? Um, yeah, Kim talked, and said she didn’t want to do an SATC again, and then talked when SJP went after her in her passive-aggressive, woe is me, I’m so nice way; and then Kim closed her mouth and yet SJP keeps talking.

And sure, SJP didn’t use her own voice to attack Kim; she used Cohen and Kristin Davis and supporting players on SATC and day players, to smear Kim Cattrall, while Kim used her own voice and spoke her own truth and then shut up.

If there isn’t a catfight, Sarah, it’s on Kim’s side because she’s moved on; you’re the one keeping it alive.

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More Kanye ... 

After his insane visit to the White House, amongst all his Twit-Rambles and his new line of Blexit shirts, this week the rapper/lunatic claimed he was being used by the politicians and is now swearing off politics for good.

If only he’d swear off Twitter …and music …and fashion… too.

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