An icy day in East Tennessee

Ice covering the clematis vines this morning...

A Southerner in the Snow...

As I am sitting here in my nice warm house, I am thinking about tomorrow, mountains, ice, snow, and if my Mini Cooper (and me) will come back in one piece.

Tomorrow is my usual rescue transport...four dogs who will most certainly never see a home if they do not travel tomorrow. My leg of the transport journey just happens to be in the mountains with a forecast of snow.

"So?" You Northerners say...well, we Southerners close down shop when there's snow in the forecast. No one knows how to drive in it and the mere mention of snow causes a panicked run to the grocery store for canned goods. I mean, you could starve to death in the 24 hours the snow sticks around before melting.

Actually, more often than not, our problem is not enough snow to be driven on and just enough rain/snow to harden into ice. Now, that's a disaster waiting to happen. It's a modern production of Rednecks on Ice, except there's no happy ending--triple klutzes do not earn a good score.

So, ashamedly I admit I am very nervous about driving over the mountains into Kentucky tomorrow with a bunch of rescue dogs in my tiny Mini Cooper. Yes, I am a true Southerner-"afeared" of the white stuff. I don't think I qualify to be a major character in the Rednecks on Ice production, but I do qualify as a Nervous Southerner in a Mini Cooper that's had to be fixed twice in the last year because of a hit-and-run and a nasty burglary. Poor Smidget can't get a break. (Think positive Smidget!)

I am looking out the window at the cold rain coming down, well-aware it will be freezing over tonight, making a nice slick base for the shallow snowfall to come tomorrow. And I can't help but wonder if our Northern transporter counterparts are rolling their eyes, laughing hysterically while gunning their snowmobiles in disgust.

Yup, we're chickens down here. But we're chickens with big hearts. I am going to pretend I drive in the snow all the time tomorrow and race over the mountain at a scorching 15 mph if I have to. I won't be the link that takes the transport down and lets these adoptable dogs go by the wayside like so many do.

I'm laughing and crying inside...laughing at myself for being scared and crying because, well, I really am scared. But what do you expect? I will be a Southerner in the snow. Just give me a wide berth if you see me coming!!

Baxter says "Arrrrooooooooo!"

Baxter was the cutest little beagle with honey-colored eyes. For some reason he was completely enamoured with my mother. This little video is him getting all wound up when my mom went into a gas station for a potty break. Baxter is saying "Come back!" Actually, he got pretty excited every time the car stopped. He was a real character.

 

Rescue Transport Yesterday

Here's our buddies going to rescue yesterday. Three hound dogs in a car in torrential rain means STINK. But it was fun. The 3 hour trip turned into about 4 1/2 because the rain was so horrible. We saw three cars wrecked in ditches because there was so much water standing on the interstate. Baxter is the little beagle and the two elderly bassetts are Jiminy and Cricket. They will be excellent pets for someone very soon. Baxter insisted on sitting on my mother's lap.

 

 

 

 

sunshine!

I can't believe the sun is peeking through today...at least here and there. Gosh, any light at all at this point is a Godsend.

I'm doing a pet loss support group tonight which is kind of difficult for me right now after losing my kitty Grayson, but these groups help people so much. Our culture doesn't do a very good job of honoring companion animal grief and people really suffer when they can't get support from others. Loss is loss in my opinion. If you've loved an animal like a family member, that loss is commensurate to the attachment. Additionally, that loss reconnects people with other losses in their lives. Unresolved grief issues can pop up.

Mom's MRI went well...she had to be perfectly still for 45 minutes, which is like asking my mother to do a tightrope act between two speeding 747s, but she did it. We should know some more by tomorrow. She is nervous about getting bad news (that the cancer has spread outside of the known area). One day at a time. I am not good at waiting and she isn't either. Genetics, I guess. Overall, she is nervous but still has a good attitude. Me, I've gained 3 pounds. I'm not sure what that's about!

One day at a time. :-)

heart and mind tired...

Whew...tired tonight. My body is dragging because my mind and soul are exhausted from worry. Mom spent a great day with loving friends, so that is comforting and wonderful.

I lost another job to a candidate with more experience, though I was in the top running. This time I am not upset, but relieved. I think right now my mom needs me and I am grateful for time to take care of her with surgery on the horizon.

I worked at the vet school today but the afternoon was quiet, which was probably good given my confused state of mind. The sun came out for a while this afternoon, but rain set in again later on...at least we got a little sunshine to boost the spirits. That always helps.

A message from the unemployed...

Being unemployed since April has been a challenge, a tragedy, a blessing, and just a weird experiment in the journey of life. I've never been unemployed since graduating college in 1988, then after I changed my career to social work, bam--here I am. I find it odd that a support service like marketing is 100 times more stable than something like social work. And when I look in the paper, marketing jobs abound...social work almost nothing and half of those are with scary, dysfunctional agencies no one wants to work for...

The things I miss about work: helping people, being intellectually challenged, feeling useful and needed, money, having structure in my life, seeing friends and colleagues, getting OUT. Things I don't miss about work: getting up early, being stressed out, having to get up and out when I'm sick as a dog, not getting to enjoy the outdoors-especially mornings.

Things I will miss when I go back to work: sleeping in, not worrying about staying up late, not necessarily having to get dressed up or put make-up on, shopping in off hours, having lunch with my mom whenever I want to, spending more time with my husband (he works out of the house), and probably most of all-getting to spend time with my animals. I have become a lot more bonded with my dogs, Petey and Pepper. Pepper has gotten a lot more confident since I've been off. She's gotten more consistency and guidance and that has changed her for the better. She's still a nervous, high-strung, anxious dog, but she's a lot better and I think that's because she's had a lot more time with her mama. I tend to be the most "consistent" of the puppy parents and that helps any anxious dog. Petey has just gotten more cuddly with me. He was previously cuddly mainly with my husband.

I am hoping to get a part-time job with benefits and maybe do a little private practice. I also hope I get to stay very involved in veterinary social work. It's kind of an odd field, and more challenging than one would think. I find it the hardest work I've done so far. I'm not sure how to explain that just yet.

Being unemployed has riddled me with anxiety and doubt at times, and has given me a sense of getting a wonderful break at other times. I haven't done anything I thought I would do (all those huge projects you never have time for), but when else are you going to not work for months at a time other than getting laid off? I have to work at not feeling guilty and at times have thoroughly enjoyed it. Like now, my eyes are getting heavy, Pepper is laying beside me on the couch cleaning her paws. The washer is humming downstairs, and it's rainy outside. I'll probably take a little nap. How sweet is it to take a mid-morning nap? Pretty sweet. It will be really hard to get my sleep schedule back on track but I think that's the least of my worries.

So, someone...hire me. It's time for me to go back to work (plus my severance package just ran out...ha).

can't sleep...

It's late but I'm not sleepy. Pepper and I are watching some tube and I'm on the laptop writing drivel. Storming outside. More frickin' rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. Pepper opens her eyes and looks at me when the thunder erupts..."everything okay mama? ok, back to sleep now." Fortunately neither of our dogs are scared of storms.

Pepper has a favorite chair...it's really her chair now. Petey just hops on top of the back cushion of the couch and makes a "beagle nest." The pillows are destroyed from all his daily "nesting." We never were the types to keep our animals off the furniture - we like to cuddle with them too much. Maybe that's a weakness or a bad habit, but I would hate it if they couldn't schoochie up to us for some special scratches and hugs.

*stares off into space* tick-tock...tick-tock...

Now I'm hungry.

stickin' it out...

Being laid off - sucks. Being laid off with endless days of rain - sucks even more. The dogs are couped up. I am couped up. We all need some sunshine and time to play in the yard.

It's hard to stay motivated when there are no new opportunities on the horizon. Mental health jobs are being cut left and right and being a social worker just short of being eligible for licensure really hurts because there are plenty of licensed people who've been laid off. It's an employer's market when it comes to getting good employees. A lot of people; not so many jobs.

You would think this would be a welcome vacation after 21 years of working, but it's more a battle against worry and uncertainty. I am to keep recreating myself, readjusting the plan, revitalizing...

The goal for this week is to clean up and reorganize my studio. It's truly a disaster.

Pepper in the snow

The dogs don't get to see much snow. It takes them a little while to get over the confusion of it all.