heartaches

I almost can't write about losing Grayson so suddenly. It makes me hurt all over. I was part of making a pet memorial event happen just three days after his death and I thought I was going to be physically sick for hours on end. My body hurt as if I had the flu. Today I feel better having had some sleep and quiet time.

I have lost my father, four cats, and two dogs in the past 4 1/2 years. It's only been four months since losing my 17 year-old kitty Atticus. He was my art partner...always sitting near me any time I went to create. It's just been one loss after another and I feel as though my heart as been pureed. Throw in turning 40, major surgery, job loss...well, hell...that's enough.

Tomorrow I am going with my mother for her follow-up appointment to a breast biopsy. I am very nervous about this as my bad luck with beloved companions and family seems to be curse. I hope and pray we get good news for her tomorrow morning. If we hear otherwise, I think I might explode.

THE GOOD THING ABOUT TODAY IS THAT I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 13 YEARS. My DH surprised me with a netbook...he knows I'd rather have technology than jewelry (I can pick out my own jewelry-LOL). I absolutely love it...it's so light and portable and the battery lasts forever. Super cool gift!!!!