oh, the frickin' woe of it all...

Wah. Wah. Wah.
I am still in school, taking one last class to get a graduate certificate in gerontology...and the "frickin' woe of it all" has to do with a paper I need to be writing right now.

But I don't wanna.

Like a 5 year old doesn't wanna...

I have been so tired and stressed out over the past two weeks that I don't frickin' wanna do much of anything when I get home. We are under-staffed and reorganizing all in the same breath at the hospital I work at and it is excruciating. Everyone is trying to stay afloat and not kill one another. Our director just left, everyone on staff is fairly new and admissions are flocking in like stuck-together boogers on a stick.

I dare say my marketing job at its busiest was akin to sitting around and picking my nose compared to my job as a therapist at this partial-hospitalization program. I do still love it, but it is fast-paced, extremely emotionally and intellectually demanding, no time to eat or take a piss... I've worked through my lunch everyday since May 25. Come in early and stay late--and be nowhere near caught up on Medicare's evil and mighty stack of required paperwork. Suicidal? Yeah, well prove it with these 15 forms...

Like I said...wah, wah, wah.

I still wouldn't go back though. The rewards of the job are worth the growing pains.

Unfortunately, the blog has suffered mightily, and probably will continue to do so until things smooth out a little more...

I guess I'd better go squeeze that paper out of my ass now. Bleh.

and then...

On Friday, something will be conferred to me...no, not cooties or some other dastardly disease of social lubrication...

The Degree.

Yup, that one. The one that says I'm out of the nest. Jiminy Crackheads.

So, apparently I somehow got through the whole thing and will finally get my master's in social work. Maybe even summa cum laude. Not that I've paid attention to such things...

Snarling Purring and waiting around the corner is a new career. I have been offered a full-time job as a geriatriK therapissed. Happy about that...not pissed ;-)

One of the reasons I chose this field is because you will always be challenged to learn more. I just dread the years of being a beginner again. Or maybe if I can be truly mindful, I can be in constant wonder at the knocking of my knees...

it's getting fugly...

Today is the 2nd year anniversary of when we found my father after his accident. I've taken off a couple days to lay low, decrease the stimuli and general overload. I didn't expect the second anniversary to be as painful as the first...

A couple more months and I will have hopefully earned my mastirz in soshul werk...thank God...I thought I would never get there.

My internship in veturinarie soshul werk has been very interesting, but the constant death in this teaching hospital has really worn on me. There are multiple euthanasias nearly every day...it can be terribly difficult for the interns and residents just starting their careers. And I have found out that I would not be able to do this type of work full-time. It is constant grief work and not much else. Yes, you get to see animals all the time and that's really cool, but you also get to see a lot of them die, too.

It could be the anniversary or it could be something else, but I know I want to be able to do more than crisis management and grief work. I do, however, want to be connected to the field as a supportive clinician. Compasshun fatigue is a huge problem in the field and vets see death 5 times more than human doctors. Becoming disconnected and numb is a problem for these folks sometimes, as is burnout.