I'm Sorry My Bride But.....

This is gonna piss my Bride off and Darlin' I am truly sorry but I wanna talk about it anyway.

DISCLAIMER: My Dearest Bride, I accept the responsibility for everything written on this post an understand your right to punish me for it in perpetuity.

Some things about being deployed to a combat zone are so cool! Like the Galley for instance. There are three (four if you count midrats) meals a day whether I want to eat them or not. They are well balance healthy meals as well!!! I always get a choice between four entrees (No kidding four freaking choices!), I always like at least one of them. There are a wide selection of healthy, tasty veggies to choose from, and a salad bar which even feature Creamy Italian Dressing!!! After dinner the table is always cleaned up and I never have to do dishes!!!! I don't have to come home from a long day and decide what to cook. I never have to eat out of the pot it was cooked in and I never half to clean up stuck on residue from breakfast and lunch off the table when I sit down for dinner!!! It is so cool! The other great thing about being deployed out here is laundry. When I want my laundry done I take my bag to the laundry tent, I give it to them and two days later I get it back CLEAN AND FOLDED. Not once have a had to do the sniff test to decide which pair of dirty underwear can make it one more day. I tell you a man can get used to this. I don't have to worry about the ever increasing, all consuming, somewhat smelly dirty laundry pile reaching out and devouring me when I least expect it. If my tent had carpet, I would be able to see cause it wouldn't be covered by the laundry. Most importantly, I don't have to risk my life braving the clean laundry pile if by chance I actually want to wear a clean pair of underwear. Every time I think about my clothes coming back to me folded and ready to put away, it brings a tear a joy to my eye. Kellog, Brown and Root where have you been all my life. This is living. I wonder if KBR has a domestic support unit that I could call to help my Bride out. I reckon I will have to put in a call to Dick Cheney.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

They Serve Who Sit And Wait On Top Of Tactical Vehicles

Over the last couple of weeks I have been observing a little military cultural tableaux play out. Parked out next to my tent was a string of fully loaded up tactical vehicles. They had been there for some time. As I passed by in my daily travels I have never failed to notice a bored looking soldier perched on top or inside of the last vehicle in the string. One day my curiosity got the better of me so I stopped and asked:

Me: Hey Soldier, why are you always sitting here on this vehicle
Soldier: Well sir, we were supposed to move out to a forward base but the scheduled got changed.
Me: Ok, so why are you sitting here
Soldier: Oh, because someone's gotta guard the gear
Me: Really, so you just sit here waiting for someone to tell you guys when you can leave.
Soldier: We take shifts, everyone gets a turn watching
Me: Ok, so when are you going to go.
Soldier: We don't even know if we are still going to go. We just don't want to unpack until we are sure
Me: I get it. You guys are going to stay loaded up parked here and guarding these vehicles pretty much indefinitely until someone makes a decision.

This phenomena is what we like to call "hurry up and wait" and it is pretty much a military tradition since the first soldier/sailor/marine was hatched. We have to get ready to do everything in a hurry and then wait forever to execute. We have to get ready quickly just so we can wait around for the plan (which should be completed prior to the rush to get ready) is finished. Somehow planning is exempt from "hurry up and wait". I think this might be due the fabric of the universe folding back upon itself to create a cosmic inversion specifically around planning cells. Actually, we pretty much have a pavlovian reaction to hurry up and wait. When we are told to be ready by say, oh 0900, we make sure that we are Johnny on the spot no later than 0845. We add our own hurry up and wait exponent upon the 0900 time even though we intellectually understand that the universal hurry up and wait factor will be applied to the original 0900 time in the first place. Self inflicted pain is the best kind to boost morale. I ramble, but the point of this whole diatribe is that as I was walking away from the young soldier doing his duty by sitting on a tactical vehicle in the hot African sun, I did not have the heart to tell him that:

INDECISION IS THE KEY TO FLEXIBILITY!

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

Deutchland, Deutchland Uber Alles

Went out to a social onboard a German Frigate that was in port. They invited the officers and senior enlisted from our Combined Joint Task Force, the French, and Spanish. At first is was kind of awkward, Americans congregating in one area, Germans in one, French in another, and Spanish in yet anther. As the beer flowed folks finally started to mingle around. I finally got up my courage screwed to the sticking point (my Bride will tell you that I am a complete social wreck. I have no social graces at all. In fact, I pretty much hate mingling with anyone at all), went up to a couple of German Officers and tried out my German that I have not used since college. Thankfully, they spoke good English and didn't laugh at my mutilation of their language. I when they found out I was a logistics officer they found their ships logistician, Frank, and that's when the party really began. I must say I am deeply impressed with the German Navy. The have one thing we don't and they don't have something we do. They have bars in their mess decks and even though they have mixed gender crews they do not have to treat them defferentially, i.e. the German Navy ain't PC God Bless em'. Frank lead me and my fellow logisticians away from the reception and down to the wardroom where the sehr gutes deutche bier und jagermeister flowed freely. I tell you what boy, those German fellas throw a soiree like the 28th Virginia boys do. Lots of laughter an too much popskull. We almost missed our bus back to the base. I was feeling a little rugged this morning considering that I do not often drink and it takes very little beer or other intoxicants to give me a healthy buzz. The last time I indulged in the evils of liquor it was 1863 in the field near Gettysburg PA. As I recall it was the evening after we cleared the federals out of the Devil's Den and fought our way across the Valley of Death. The survivors of company L (well those of us over the age of 25. I believe we were lamenting how youth was wasted on the young pups in the company) were sitting around the camp fire passing Sailor's ever present bottle of popskull around. That was a good time especially since the next day Col Bone got us surrounded an almost captured by those Garibaldi Guard boys wearing the chickens on their heads.

While not directly related to the party, the event has convinced me that we are definitely winning the war against trans-national terrorist. We went to the party in busses. We had to travel through town encountering several obstacles that cause our two bus convoy and FAST (Anti-Terrorisism specialist troops) troopers riding shotgun, to have to stop fully exposed for several minutes at a time. Coming back was the same story except it was two bus loads a happily inebriated officers and senior enlisted. One Al Quieda terrorist with an RPG or AK-47 could have done serious damage. If I were them I wouldn't have passed on the opportunity. No incidents at all. Hopefully, it means we have them hamstrung out here.
TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!

On the 11th hour, of the 11th day, of the 11 Month 1918 the armistice to end the "War To End All Wars" went into effect. We chose this day to celebrate veterans day. So if you've got a burr up under your saddle and have been bitchin' about it loud and clear, then go find yourself a veteran and say thank you for your right to complain and all the others we take for granted and are too quick to surrender to big brother. If you are a veteran then I say thank you for your service and I will do my best to see it was not given in vain.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

It's Still Better Than Pascagoula!

Had to go into town today to meet with the local Freight Forwarding Agent and the OIC and NCOIC of one of the our aviation units. Had some issues getting some important items through customs. Overall, the system functioned as advertised in this third world hole in the wall. Frankly, with all the bureaucracy an item has to go through to get out of customs I am surprised we get anything at all. It is also in the middle of Ramadan out here and people are working reduced work schedules so the whole process is even more painful.

Now on to the subject I wanted to talk about. The town. This place is a shit-hole. Seeing places like this really makes one appreciate the good ol' US of A. We live high on the hog compared to the rest of the world. We really ought to be more appreciative. If any of y'all have been around Cuidad Juarez across the border from El Paso, it is kind of like that only ground is less fertile. The ride into town was terrifying. One of our Gunny's was driving the Toyota Land Cruiser we had checked out of the motorpool. The roads are paved but they are not marked. There are no stop signs, no traffic lights, no speed limits, no crosswalks, no traffic control what so ever. There we are zipping in and around through traffic (which varied between single donkey pulled carts to tanker trucks. Maybe General King could send the 1st Texas Teamsters down here for training. The local mule skinners do a pretty good job of weaving in and out of the more modern velocipeds) dodging pedestrians and goats, chickens and the odd camel. I was really becoming concerned that we were gonna run somebody down but the chief pointed out its not the people you need to worry about. Since there is no reliable medical care they are very good at not getting hurt, and even if we did accidentally run somebody down it is not as serious as if we had hit a goat, chicken, donkey, or Camel. Do you believe that. There is more associated value to livestock than human life. Still I have to say it is better than Pascagoula Mississippi.
TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

The Lone Star Rifles Have Been Heard From

I feel special. Finally heard from some of my pards from Co L 1st Texas. They have a valid reason for not writing after all. I forgot most of the pards from Old Virginny and the realm of King Bob sovereign Lord of North Carolina are still trying to dig out from Hurricane Isabel. I allowed myself to forget how much damage was done. My Bride and I fared extremely well only a few thousand federal greenbacks in damage. Most folks the damage was in the 10s of thousands of dollars. Keep the faith pards. Still haven't heard from the boys from Galveston, I will have to drop Major Fred and Sgt Jeff a note.

I also seem to be having difficulty with the fonts on this site. No reason that I can determine why everything went bold face on me. I just tried to make the last post wishing our little green brethren of the Corps a happy 278th B-day boldface and wham bam... The whole website is bolded. I don't think anyone really understands the logic behind these infernal machines. They run off of black magic and voodoo.

Had a really fun day today trying to get some critical aircraft parts through local customs. I just can't get my boss to understand that this is a third world country and then you through Ramadan in on top of it and the speed at which the local bureaucrats operate slows almost to the point of reverse. The appropriate nautical term is maintaining steerage way. The only course of action left to us was to draw a circle on the wall, repetively bang our heads against and hope the parts get cleared through customs. It's time to go. The Marines are throwing a hootenany tonight and I wanna go watch em get drunk an stupid. Where's the 28th Virginia with their homemade popskull when you need them!

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

What's life like?

Hey, everyone. Ed want me to write something. This is his Bride. I finally got this thing to work. Before I had kids I was the computer savvy person in the household, but since I had kids I do not know anything. Who has time to learn the computer now. What is life like? I think he is having all the fun. He is over there is a plushy tent with servants or lower level people waiting on him and hand and foot. Having his food cooked for him and his clothes washed for him. Have people get him whatever he wants. Do not get used too it. I am jealous!!!!!

I am here, waiting on my three precious angels hand and foot. No sleep, clean up poop, putting out fires (they were just trying to surpise mom with breakfast), every electronic device in the house breaking, cleaning everything (on my loves behalf, I am not good at cleaning but I am trying even more than ever cause if I do not do; no one will), dealing with with problems with everyone - they are coming out of the woodwork where did these people come from and why do the want my attention all of a sudden. I am up to my eye balls with problem. I am one of those lady's that cartoonist like to draw with dishes to the ceiling and kids screaming. Everything on and running at one time. Mom pulling out her hair.

Now being more truthful. I know he is having it hard. I am worried about him even if he says there is nothing to be worried about. His children are worried about him. They wake up several times a week crying about their dad. They also pray to let daddy come home in three days and do not let him get shot. I have to reassure them several times a day. I know this is natural. I know many wives have done it before. I know that is supposted to help and it does very little. I do not know how they do it. Hey, do not feel bad for us. We are making it through. We are taking every challange head on and we are winning. It may take longer then we want it to but we are winning. We are learning and growing. I am not really jealous. Hey, everything is a breakthough. I do not understand why everything must break with Dad/My love being gone. That is when all the weird problems happen as well. It must be one of those law of life. We are going to survive. We do miss our dad/husband.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

278th Birthday Of The United States Marine Corps

Happy Birthday Marines!

SEMPER FI!

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

Hey, Where Have All My Messmates Gone?

O.K. First Texas where are you. I know you guys were in Arkansas at an event last weekend but I haven't gotten any after action reports. I know Co L in Virginia has been working at Endview but still no word. Cpl Mike emailed me once to see if he had connectivity but then nothing. Just because I ain't there is no reason to forget me.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

What Is Groundhog Day

Some of you folks have asked what groundhog day is. It has nothing to do with actual holiday, it refers a movie of the same name in which the main character is doomed to repeat the same day over and over again until he gets it right. In the Navy, and I guess the other services as well, it has term "Groundhog Day" has become a reference to life on deployment. We are damned to repeat the same day over and over again. Unfortunately, we aren't freed from the repetitive hell when we finally get the day right, we repeat the same day over and over again until we get home. In most cases you can't tell one day from the next on deployment. In fact, you pretty much even lose track of what day of the week it is. I only know because I take my malaria prophylaxis on Fridays and can expect really screwed up dreams through about Wednesday. Last night's prophylaxis dream was pretty whacked. Do any of you remember the old Star Wars arcade game from the 80's? The one where you are in X Wing flying down the Death Star trench? Well, I was IN THE GAME LAST NIGHT except it wasn't turbo laser towers and Tie fighters in the trench, it was German U-boats and Waffen SS Troopers. I distinctly remember piloting my computer X-Wing dodging torpedoes and gunning down SS Troopers and after I lasered a computer generated German SS Officer it dropped trow and mooned me. What is up with that. I am beginning to wonder if malaria pills are a mind altering drug.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

What Is Wrong With People Today

The world is a beautiful place. It is our culture that has gotten ugly. People once were able to give their fellow man the benefit of the doubt. Neighbors help each other. We looked at a person and measured their potential for good. It was a simple Christian ethic: God wants us to help our fellow man and we should all strive to be the best person we can possibly be. As a society we have abandoned the way. We no longer measure a person on their potential for goodness but for their potential for evil. Our neighbors are no longer a source of help and support but now are viewed under a cloud of mistrust and suspicion. We automagically assume the worse in everybody. When I was a boy of 6 or 7 (same of my eldest child) I had the freedom to get on my bike and explore my world. My parents would drop me and friends off at the movies or the arcade with some money in our pockets and the admonition to "be out front at 6 pm for pick up". Today, we have changed the world. I wouldn't dare let my 7 year old son out of my yard little lest out of the neighborhood without myself or my Bride riding herd on him every moment. I even worry about letting my children play together in the back yard without supervision. Our society is crushing itself under the weight of its own loss of values. I am sure our founding fathers are rolling over in there graves at the thought of it. The human animal must be governed by its own internal moral structure. As a societal norm we have systematically dismantled that internal moral structure of values that our parents, parents, parents instilled in them. We have abandoned the righteous path for a feel good set of values established by government. Instead of walking the more difficult path of personal values and self-government we would rather have big brother legislate our values for us. Government can not govern morality. It is a complete incompatibility. We cannot look to a federal government to for moral direction. We must follow our own moral compass, calibrated by the values established in us by or parents, and magnetic north on that compass does not point to Washington City, it points in the direction that your faith in the almighty takes you.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD