It Has Been A Long Eight Months

It has been a long time since I have posted. A long time filled with nothing but frustration and disaffection. I will use my return to posting to sum up the flavor of these last miserable months

F.T.N

Those who know...know.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

He is back in the US and is safe!

I this is the Bride. He is back in the US and is safe. We are traveling around see family and civil war battlefield. He is looking great. His spirit are down but not about the war. He is trying to decide if he is going to blog any more. Ya'll did not do anything to get his spirit down either. He likes ya'll. I want to let you know he was back. Thank you for the prayers, thoughts, and well wishes. Have a great day.

Lucky 20,000

The twenty thousandth visitor to Hardtack and Havoc:

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Congratulations...YOU WIN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING...WOOOHOOO...But thanks for dropping by, seriously now.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

Subsunk Asked...

Concerning my recent post about eating the dreaded Mutant Iraqi Flat Flounder Like Pond Fish Subsunk asked the following questions:

"So did you actually get sick? Or were you a Man about it? You know it's better to puke and bear the shame, than swallow the puke and bear the pain."

And I shall respond thusly:

As an advisor I certainly couldn't refuse to break bread...or for that matter Mutant Iraqi Flat Flounder Like Pond Fish...with my counterparts. It was a big deal to them, the fish is something they cook up special for honored guests, couldn't decline, it's not like I could say "Whoa there habibi, I ain't eatin' no three eyed, 7 finned mutant flat flounder like pond fish your cousin Ahmed caught in his septic tank!", I had to smile with delight as I choked it down. For that matter, after eating an acceptable amount so that no feelings were hurt I could certainly not display any outward signs that I wanted nothing more than to puke my freakin' guts out. That would have been... impolite. Needless to say the convoy back was interesting, one of my TCs kept asking for us to pull over so he could blow his colon but I wouldn't let him...made him wink and suck it up like the rest of us. Once I got back though, it was a different story. I could not drop my drawers fast enough. Ordinarily, with my eastern style "Squat and Thrust" toilet my blowing Sans would have resulted in something akin to modern art, a study in ochre one might say. However, that is not something I hafta worry about now, at least not since I installed this little beauty:
















A Sailors gotta do what Sailors gotta do. Also, the cup holder ROCKS!

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

One Of Life's Little Truths

To truly self actualize one must yield to the circumstance and:

EMBRACE THE SUCK!

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

Testify!

The below has special meaning to me, prolly since I am a sad embittered yahoo riding on someone's back reminding him that what he wants to and what he can do are entirely different things.

The Logistician

Logisticians are a sad and embittered race of men who are very much in demand in war, and who sink resentfully into obscurity in peace. They deal only in facts, but must work for men who merchant in theories. They emerge during war because war is very much a fact. They disappear in peace because peace is mostly theory. The people who merchant in theories, and who employ logisticians in war and ignore them in peace, are generals.

Generals are a happily blessed race who radiate confidence and power. They feed only on ambrosia and drink only nectar. In peace, they stride confidently and can invade a world simply by sweeping their hands grandly over a map, pointing their fingers decisively up terrain corridors, and blocking defiles and obstacles with the sides of their hands. In war, they must stride more slowly because each general has a logistician riding on his back and he knows that, at any moment, the logistician may lean forward and whisper: "No, you can't do that." Generals fear logisticians in war and in peace, generals try to forget logisticians.

Romping along beside generals are strategists and tacticians. Logisticians despise strategists and tacticians. Strategists and tacticians do not know about logisticians until they grow to become generals--which they usually do.
Sometimes a logistician becomes a general. If he does, he must associate with generals whom he hates; he has a retinue of strategists and tacticians whom he despises; and, on his back, is a logistician whom he fears. This is why logisticians who become generals always have ulcers and cannot eat their ambrosia.

Author Unknown

P.S. Remind me to post about how I managed to "sink" a pick up truck sometime

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

Iraq...Its A Lot Like Highschool

High drama in the chow hall the other day. A new MiTT team assigned a new IA unit on the base sat at OUR table in the chow hall!!! We were about ready to take it out behind the gym and throw down. Sigh...Nobody ever likes the new kids.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

Ughhh...I Did It Again!

I absolutely positively don't like fish!

I absolutely positively won't eat Mutant Iraqi Flat Flounder Like Pond Fish!

I absolutely positively won't eat Mutant Iraqi Flat Flounder Like Pond Fish off a community plate!

I absolutely positively won't eat Mutant Iraqi Flat Flounder Like Pond Fish snatched bare handed off a community plate and plopped on my tray by an Iraqi Officer!

I absolutely positively won't eat Mutant Iraqi Flat Flounder Like Pond Fish snatched bare handed off a community plate and plopped on my try by an Iraqi Officer, in an austere Iraqi FOB with EXTREMELY dubious sanitation conditions!

Well I reckon' that ain't rightly so...I ate the fish!

I don't feel so good!

***UPDATE***

The offending fish:
















TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

Up Armored Me

Now for my two cents on body armor...

I like it, I wear it whenever I am outside the wire. I would say it is the perfect accessory to any ensemble in a hostile environment but enough is enough people. I am 6 feet and 3 inches tall, I weigh a solid 210lbs, I am not a small person by any standard. My armor with its necessary accessories (Plates, Kevlar Loin Cloth, gorget, 240 rounds of 5.56mm ball, 45 rounds of 9mm ball, rifle kit, camel back and first aid kit) WEIGHS A FREAKIN' CUBIC SH*T TON which I would remind you is at a minimum one order of magnitude greater than the standard metric butt ton! Top that off with rifle, pistol and K-pot brain bucket I go from being a larger than average person to a mutant giant troll! When I am all girded up I feel like I have gutted a fat man and am wearing him like a suit. In full battle rattle I am top heavy and very ungainly. Not so much that I can't function in a combat environment but almost to that point. Now some freakin' mental giant thinks I need more armor to be safe. I will grant that I would suck it up and us any side add ons but have you seen the shoulder add ons they are pushing out. Have any of you seen the movie "Christmas Story"? Well watch it and when you get to the point when Ralphy's little brother falls down and can't get up cuz of all the snow clothes he is wearing, well that is what it would be like for me if you added anymore dang armor to me. Enough is enough people. For the most part what we got is functional and wearable too much more pushes it over the edge. You have to be able to move or you will get killed. You would really get a good laugh if you watched me try and fold myself into and out of my Humvee! It is a sight to behold. In fact, the most useful thing that Army could have trained me up on at Camp Atterbury would have been combat yoga! More armor would just get me killed. Obviously, the proponents of adding more stuff on to me have never actually had to wear, and function in it for extended periods of times. The primary mission has crept from closing with and kicking the enemies a$$ to force protection. This worship at the altar of force protection is causing us to lose our warrior edge. Some common sense must be used. War fighting is an inherently dangerous profession, heck, it is almost of as dangerous as being a convenience store clerk. You have to be prepared to take risks, as always Fortune Favors The Bold. As I said I would gladly suck up some more side protection but when my issue of the "shoulder pads" arrives...It's going under the rack with the rest of the crap I don't need and will never use. I'd like to see some a$$hat congress members wear the full ensemble, with shoulder pads everyday for a month! Now that would be entertainment! Of course this is all just my opinion.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

Ice Cream...It's An OPSEC Issue

A bit back I was enjoying a nice creamy delicious bowl of ice cream (it wasn't Bluebell but still good) and I had an interesting conversation:

Me: Slurp, Smack, Scarf, Slurp
Buddy from another MiTT Team: So you taking out a convoy tomorrow, where ya going?
Me (surprised): How'd you know we are going on a road trip?
Buddy (laughing): Dude...You ALWAYS have ice cream before you convoy.

I honestly didn't realize I was that freakin' predictable. That really bothers me. I reckon I better stay away from the poker tables or be poor. I'm gonna miss the ice cream though.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

I'm Feelin' A Lil' Rugged...

I absolutely positively don't like fish!

I absolutely positively won't eat Mutant Iraqi Flat Flounder Like Pond Fish!

I absolutely positively won't eat Mutant Iraqi Flat Flounder Like Pond Fish off a community plate!

I absolutely positively won't eat Mutant Iraqi Flat Flounder Like Pond Fish snatched bare handed off a community plate and plopped on my tray by an Iraqi Colonel!

Well I reckon' that ain't rightly so...I ate the fish!

I don't feel so good!

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

You Just Can't Make This Stuff Up!

Got my very second nut ball commenter today. Enjoy the following from somebody named Dean Berry. His essay, manifesto, thesis...whatever the hell it is can be viewed at
http://www.deanberryministries.org/index3.html. This is what this bubba had to say:


DEANBERRY said...
BE A MAN AND LEAVE THIS POST INTACT.

JESUS CHRIST HAS REMOVED HIS BLESSING FROM AMERICA BECAUSE OF YOU AMERINAZIS. YOU CAN’T MURDER PEOPLE TO STEAL THEIR OIL, THEN LIE ABOUT IT! DON’T YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING TO HELL FOR THAT?

http://www.deanberryministries.org/index3.html
23 April, 2006 06:05

I usually don't bother even responding to cranks but I made and exception in this case:

Ed said...
Wow, my very second nut ball commenter...cool! Obviously, this commenter has never been to Iraq. I suspect he has never been surrounded by Iraqi's thanking him for being in Iraq and helping them and despairing about what they hear from our news media. I suspect he really hasn't gotten a very good understanding of his scriptures. If I were to go to hell it certainly would not be for my service in Iraq. In fact, I will be proud of that service when I stand before the Lord for judgement from what is written in the book of life. Obviously he doesn't know where Iraqs oil, or oil revenues goes to. One point I will concede to him though...well not concede but discuss. I often wonder if the Lord's blessing is still upon America. If it isn't it certainly isn't because of the good work we are doing in Iraq, it would be because our government has turned away from the principles it was founded upon and our people allow the government of the people, by the people and for the people to run roughshod over the principles upon which it was formed. In conclusion, my dear commenter, I believe you should call upon the Lord's guidance through prayer and meditation as you appear to be lost and a might confused.
V/R
Ed
23 April, 2006 10:43

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

An Innocent Heart

Anyone who has been to any third world country knows that there are a great many stray animals. Iraq is no different. Lonely soldiers often adopt these lost souls to be pets, companions and unit mascots which has led to a CENTCOM general order saying "Thou Shalt Not". The IA base I live on is no different, it has many many stray dogs. A lot of them have been cared for by IA soldiers, civilian workers who are away from home and lonely. Even a few U.S. units have their adopted animals to include our local SF unit who by their very existence are above all rules. I myself try to avoid all the animals looking for human companionship. I love them all too much. If I even allowed myself to acknowledge their presence It would be too much of an emotional commitment. As I mentioned, the local SF unit kept a stray. They named her Jundi and she hated Iraqis. Whenever Iraqis would come near her she would bark and make a ruckus. She had no problem with CF folks though, just Iraqis...Go figure! Jundi would also like to join in on our command PT. When we would circle up for calisthenics she would go nuts prancing and bouncing in our circle. This would absolutely infuriate the Colonel who was all about following the rules. We all found it pretty amusing, after all, Jundi was really a sweetheart. About a week ago the IA general who commands this base mandated that all the strays were to be destroyed and ordered the MPs out to shoot any dogs found. They were pretty sluggish about doing it because first off they have no shot guns and the conditions hafta be just about perfect to whack helpless doggies with and AK-47s on a populated base without causing "collateral damage". Secondly, Jundis don't like shooting cute dogs anymore than anyone else. The very next PT day after the Generals edict Jundi decided to come and enjoy our PT circled. We tried to shoo her off but she kept coming back. The Colonel called our Army Nurse officer to the side for a quiet word while we played soccer. She left and came back shortly. She sat down by the back goal, called Jundi and gave her a lethal injection. Jundi died as we played our game. A dark and cruel world claimed another innocent soul. I believe their is a very special place in hell for those who kill dogs unnecessarily. I also feel bad that I can't think of our Nurse as anything but LTC Puppy-Slayer. A couple of days ago I was at the base dump getting rid of some scrap and I came across the corpse of Jundi, bloated and fly covered, left among the other refuse. Jundi deserved better. She was a sweet and joyful heart. I studiously ignore them, I pretend that they aren't there but they still break my heart. It is even more difficult to harden my heart against the suffering of a simple dog than it is for another human being...Does that seem right to you?

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

So There We Were...

So there we were, whizzing through a small Iraqi town and I see a bunch of indigenous females in traditional muslim garb huddled around each other in the market. So I say "Hey look...Nuns!" and our gunner spewed Gatorade out his nose. He was a might irritated with me the rest of the trip.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

Life's Little Truths

Gastro-intestinal distress + white bathroom tile + eastern style squat-thrust toilet = Modern Art.

Who said math ain't important?

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD